Hoff

Nope, NEW CHAMPIONS!! Yeah, the Boiz would go over. Brock would basically be half-assing the whole match, and that'd somehow factor into the finish.

I figured I'd make it something we can all enjoy.

So I dunno who to talk to about the tag division (everybody?), but PK gave me a real good idea for CSI next week. Dunno what the tag situation is for next week, but now that Knight is the X Champion, it makes sense that Brock would want a shot. So Stevens tells him that he got him a title match....and it ends up being for the tag belts, thus pissing Brock off even more. So basically what I want to do is run Stevens/Brock vs. the Bois next week. So let me know if that works.

*insert snide NGA comment here*

Pwease?

PRL, what the hell is going on with your avatar. That guy (girl?) frightens me.

That was the greatest post ever.

It was good, what I've read so far; everyone seemed to bring their A-game for their promos. Alf's thing was cool (good choice on the belt name), and KC was sharp as always. More to come.

LIVE from the MOA in sunny Minneapolis, MN. Send everything to ME this week. So far on tap, we have: - Alfdogg defends the Heartland Title in an open challenge - Leon Rodez and two mystery partners vs. Drek Stone and the GPX Now, listen. I'd like to try something a little different this week, if it's okay with everyone. Seeing as HeldDown is in Minneapolis this week, and seeing as my next feud doesn't start for a week or two yet, I'd love to run Hoff on commentary. We could even have Coach be "sick" and run the old WCW style straight man/face/heel team. If people aren't willing to do this that's fine, but I think it'd be pretty neat. Something a little different. Let me know if anyone has any objections.

Stevens/Brock confrontation. Whenever. [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO! I really wanna know WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] The lights dim as The Who's classic blares, heralding the arrival of one pissed-off Chris Stevens. The fans boo as the scowling star makes his way down the aisle. COLE Well, here comes Chris Stevens, and I guss this means he hasn't gotten hold of Brock Ausstin. COACH This all stems back to the Great Angle Bash, where Stevens kicked his teammate right in the jaw! CABOOSE Stevens told Brock, and all of CSI, to stay in the back, but they couldn't do it. Brock had to get one more piece of Peter Knight, and he paid for it. COLE Nonetheless, most people wouldn't kick their teammate in the jaw. But we've come to understand that there's some tension between Stevens and Brock. Stevens jaws with the crowd as he heads to the ring. Once inside, he asks for a microphone, then turns his attention to the audience. STEVENS By now, everyone knows that CSI is the hottest thing in primetime. So I'm not even gonna bother with that. But just so you all know, we ARE the hottest thing in the world today. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" CABOOSE Always get your plugs in. That's one of the many things I like about Chris. STEVENS Tonight isn't about that, though. It's about one man; a malcontent by the name of Brock Ausstin. Brock, I know you're here tonight, so why don't you quit hiding and be a man. COLE Whoa-ho!! The lights dim, and PUNISHMENT kicks in to a pretty good pop! COLE And here comes the monster! The spotlights shine as BROCK AUSSTIN emerges! Wearing a black T-shirt and sweats, Brock does the HAPPY HAPPY HOSS DANCE~ before walking down the aisle. Brock looks at Chris, who stares back in anger. Brock hits the ring, and Chris offers him his mic. Stevens looks at Brock with his arms crossed. COACH What's Brock gonna say? CABOOSE He better apologize. BROCK Chris....you want to call me out? We can do this thing right now if you want. "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" BROCK But I don't think you want to do that. You know how powerful I am, and in the condition you're in, you don't wanna fight right now. Stevens, still taped up from two weeks prior, simply stares Brock down as the hoss laughs. BROCK Chris, you know why I joined you and CSI. You told me I could be the star I always shoulda been. You said you'd show the world Brock Ausstin. And yet I haven't been in one high profile match? Where's my spotlight, Chris? So far, CSI is nothing but a platform for you. Stevens raises his mic. STEVENS Now Brock, these things take time... BROCK Bull****! You've got all the attention! Now Chris, you wanna be pissed at me for interfering in your match? Fine. As long as I'm in CSI, you're the man in charge. But you better get me some big matches, or you're gonna end up like my last boss -- Rick Heyross. The crowd "oohs" at the memory of what Brock did to his former agent, and Chris takes a little gulp, before setting his jaw and stepping up to his teammate. STEVENS All right, Brock. You'll get the shots YOU deserve. But just give me a little time. Soon, all the world will respect -- and fear -- the name "Brock Ausstin." Stevens gestures as he says the name, as if the words were on a marquee. Brock looks over at Stevens with a smile... BROCK You better. Soon. Brock pats Chris on the shoulder, and "PUNISHMENT" kicks in as Brock heads out the ropes, hopping onto the floor and leaving Stevens in the ring. COLE So Brock is with CSI...sort of! CABOOSE Well, he's not happy. I say he's an ingrate. COACH He just wants his due, I feel him. CABOOSE You WOULD feel him. COACH HOLLA~! COLE In any event, Brock Ausstin and Chris Stevens still not together, and Chris Stevens looks none too pleased! In the ring, the CSI leader looks at Brock's back, sighing before leaving the ring himself. COLE What else could happen tonight?!

This one works best rolling in from commercial, but it's not necessary. COLE Folks, we're back live on HeldDown, set for more action, but before we begin, we just want to remind everyone that there will be a special encore presentation of the Battlebowl this Sunday night at 8PM Eastern time. CABOOSE Yes, for those of you dying for your Caboose fix, or for those who just missed it, check out all the action live. COACH You get it all: the lottery tag matches, the dream match between Axel and that other company's Batista, and of course, the Battlebowl itself. COLE Catch it all one more time this Sunday! [i]*dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* *dun dun* WHOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO WHO, WHO WHO![/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The live crowd jeers mercilessly as from behind the curtain step Jay Richards and Jumbo! The two men taunt the crowd, Jay pointing at himself and telling everyone that he is, indeed, the man. COLE Well here come Jay Richards and Jumbo fresh off of their Playstation session. COACH Jay and Jumbo were the two CSI members not involved with Battlebowl, and I hear that they're pretty steamed up about it! CABOOSE I would be, too, except of course that I was a part of Battlebowl. COLE Good for you, Caboose. CABOOSE You're damn right it is. Jay and Jumbo hit the ring, and Jay asks for a mic as Jumbo yells for the crowd to quiet down. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" JAY Now I know that you people aren't used to seeing such awesome stars up close and in person, but try to keep the noise down for a moment. "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" "YOU SUCK!" JAY Hey, anyone who can pull off a 23-hit combo does NOT suck. Jumbo hangs his head as Richards looks at him and laughs. JAY But seriously. So all I keep hearing about is this Battlebowl from last Monday. You know, who in the hell decided that thing was such a great idea?! I mean, anyone could have become the #1 contender. Take a guy like Alfdogg. This guy was a joke when he was champion! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The fans have been getting into Alfdogg as of late. JAY Or how about a guy like this...like this Otaku character? I mean, whoa, you're cool, dude! This guy's more boring than TEN Peter Knights! And you know what the worst part is? Jay looks at Jumbo, who shrugs. JAY The worst part is that I wasn't even invited to be a part of it! Me, Jay Richards, the brightest new superstar in this company! How is it that I get overlooked? Josie Baker, consider this strike number three hundred against you. The fans jeer Jay's picking on the frazzled general manager. JAY But enough talk. Hoff and Axel already bored you to death for twenty minutes; now it's time for some action! So anyone in the back who wants a piece of me, come on out!! Jay lowers the mic and looks down the ramp. COLE Is anyone going to answer Jay Richards' challenge? Suddenly, "Unwind" by Weema hits and out walks Mike "The Punisher" Guerriero! COLE It's Mike Guerriero! COACH Who? CABOOSE Any relation to Eddie Guerrero? COLE NO! Mike Guerriero, of Mad Machine! COACH OH!!!!!!!!!!!! Right, he's cool! CABOOSE Wait, now you know who he is all of a sudden? COACH Sometimes words are hard for me. Guerriero, dressed for battle, stands halfway down the ramp. JAY Whoa, hold up, I'm up against Captain Marvel here? Jumbo laughs as Jay runs down the man who answered his challenge. JAY Hey, Dolph Lundgren, cool logo. You gonna head to the comic book store after this? Jay laughs...but Guerriero slides into the ring and ATTAX! Jumbo leaves the ring as the ref calls for the bell! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE Looks like Mike Guerriero prefers to let his actions do the talking! "The Punisher" unloads on Jay with an assault of right hands! He whips Jay into the ropes and catches him, pressing him overhead and letting him fall to the mat! Jay bounces before rolling to the outside, where he's counselled by Jumbo! In the ring, Guerriero pumps his fist in celebration! COACH Mike Guerriero is ready to fight! CABOOSE I hate everyone in this Mad Machine. They're all so...so... COLE Honorable? CABOOSE YES!!! Jay pats Jumbo on the arm and slides into the ring, and Guerriero allows him to get to his feet. The two men circle, and then come together. Collar and elbow tie up, won by Guerriero, who slaps on a side headlock, but Jay slips free and dropkicks Guerriero in the back! "The Punisher" flies into the ropes, and as he rebounds, Jay monkey flips him over! Jay springs to his feet, then does the SPAGHETTI ARM~ dance as Guerriero recovers. "BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CABOOSE What the hell is that dance? COACH Well, he stands there and waves his arms out in front of him like they were spaghetti. DUH! Guerriero charges at the dancing Richards, who ducks under a clothesline and catches a turning Guerriero with a spinwheel kick! Mike hits the mat, and Jay makes a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Guerriero gets a shoulder up. Jay rolls off of him and gets to his feet, running the ropes as Guerriero gets up slowly. Jay launches himself with a cross-body, but Guerriero catches him and DROPS him with a falling powerslam! Guerriero lays into a cover! ONE! TWO! THR-NO, as Jay barely gets out! COLE This young kid Guerriero has a lot of power!! Jay could be in trouble!! CABOOSE Master of the 23-hit combo? Nonsense. Guerriero drags Richards up by the hair, and the Punisher grabs him around the waist, but Jay rakes his eyes to break free! The fans boo as the ref warns Jay, but Richards shrugs him off. Jay runs the ropes and catches Guerriero from behind with a facebuster! Guerriero hits the mat and falls onto his back, and Jay hops over the ropes onto the apron! COACH Jay could be looking for that Tornado Moonsault! That is a cool maneuver! Jay leaps, springs off the ropes, and flips backwards, but it's NOBODY HOME as Mike rolls out of the way! The Punisher gets to his feet, grabbing Jay by the hair and pulling him into a standing headscissor position! Guerriero lifts Jay up for a POWERBOMB...but Jay flips backwards and catches Guerriero in a hurricanrana! Jay floats backwards into a cover! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! Jay slaps the mat in frustration, and the fans start cheering for Guerriero! COLE The crowd trying to will Mike Guerriero back into it! Jay gets up and needlessly shoves the official aside, pulling his foe up by the hair. Jay boots Guerriero in the gut, doubling him over, then jumps onto his neck for a Rocker Dropper...but Guerriero catches him and drops him with a POWERBOMB!! The crowd goes wild!! COLE He caught him with the powerbomb after all! Guerriero pops up, and SLASHES HIS ARMS before pulling Jay to his feet! The crowd gets up as Guerriero hooks Jay for the belly-to-belly...but Jumbo runs in from behind with a chair!! COLE What the hell?!? And Jumbo cracks Guerriero with the chair!! The ref calls for the DQ!! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE This isn't right! It was a fair fight, and Guerriero was close to putting Jay away! CABOOSE You don't know that, Cole, and neithr do we. The fans jeer as Jay and Jumbo stomp away at Guerriero, but the boos turn to cheers as Mad Machine runs down the aisle! Otaku II, Tony Capella, and Ayane Mitsui slide into the ring, sending Jay and Jumbo scattering! Capella tends to Guerriero as Otaku looks down the ramp at Jay, who does the SPAGHETTI ARM!! CABOOSE I'm already tired of that dance. COLE Well Jay Richards and Jumbo escape by the skin of their teeth tonight, but I doubt that this thing is over!

There'll be a little backstage skit, a Richards promo/match, and a Stevens/Brock segment. Put them in that order, with some space between each one. Graci. The scene opens on the locker room of CSI, with one conspicuously absent member. Jay Richards and Jumbo play something on Playstation 2, while Chris Stevens has his Motorola RAZR V3 (that thing is awesome) held to his ear. COLE Folks, Brock Ausstin is not in the CSI locker room. CABOOSE He can't still be mad at Chris, can he? Stevens rolls his eyes, checking his watch as his compatriots mash the buttons. Jay goes on a tear, hitting them repeatedly as Jumbo slumps back in his chair. JAY Aw, HELL YEAH! 23-hit COM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Super Art Finish like a MOTHA! Jumbo throws down his controller as Jay grins like an idiot. JUMBO DAMN! Jay sets his controller on the floor next to his chair and does the SPAGHETTI ARM, dancing like a fool. JAY SHIN SHORYUKEN! You know it, bitch! JUMBO Bull. You wouldn't have had me if I hadn't tried that Hurricane Kick. JAY Ah, but you DID try it, dude! You got SERVED! Jay Cool in the HOUSE-- STEVENS GUYS!! Jay and Jumbo look up at Stevens, who looks none too pleased. After a pause, Stevens slaps his phone shut, turning back to his boys with a peeved expression. STEVENS I can't believe that bastard hasn't called me. Either of you get a hold of him? JUMBO Naw, man. JAY Nah, I was too busy kicking someone's ASS to find him! BOO-YEAH~! Chris takes a seat on a nearby chair. STEVENS JAY!! This is serious. If he's not gonna settle this in a civilized manner, I'm gonna have to call him out. Now...that being said, I need to know where you guys stand. Richards and Jumbo look at each other. JUMBO We're with you, boss. JAY F'real, Chris. We go back, man. And you got me in here. Whatever you think is best, I'm down with it. Stevens looks at Jumbo. STEVENS You too? JUMBO Yeah! Yes. Damn, man. I'm YOUR bodyguard. Stevens takes a calm, cleansing breath. STEVENS Right. The CSI leader rises, nodding. STEVENS All right...I'm gonna take one last look for him. If I can't find him soon, I'm going out there and calling him out. JAY All right, man. Good luck. Stevens shoots Jay an annoyed glance before heading out the door. Jay and Jumbo look at each other. JAY AND JUMBO STREET FIGHTER THREE!!!! The two CSI guys pick up their controllers and turn toward the TV. JUMBO Hey...weren't YOU gonna call someone out tonight? Jay looks up, scratching the beard he doesn't have. JAY Oh yeah....HEY!! Jumbo laughs with glee as the screen flashes bright colors. JUMBO HA!! Fifteen-hit super combo, PUNK! You suck. JAY DAMN! But seriously, man. Let's go do this. JUMBO Right. Jay and Jumbo get up, not bothering to turn the PS2 off. Jumbo throws on his bad-ass biker vest, and Jay slips on his red CSI t-shirt. JAY Man, I love that game... The two men head out the door. COLE Jay Richards and Jumbo are on their way to the ring!!

Hey, champ, I just had this idea, so I went with it. If it doesn't work, if you had something else planned, then we'll scrap it and run it another week. No big deal. ****************************************************************** [b][color=silver]*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*[/color][/b] "Black" hits and the arena explodes as out steps HOFF! Clad in blue jeans, sunglasses, and -- interestingly -- a "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez T-shirt, Hoff beams out at the fans, HIS fans, before throwing a fist in the air and letting out a triumphant scream. COLE WHAT A REACTION for the #1 contender!! Hoff heads down the aisle, stopping near the top as he sees a sign a few rows in. Hoff calls for the sign to be passed his way and the fans oblige. The big man holds the posterboard overhead, the sign reading "[b][color=red]AXEL[/color] [color=blue]HOFF[/color] [color=green]LEON[/color] [color=orange]ZACK[/color]: THE REAL FANTASTIC 4!![/b] COACH I know those guys are my superheroes! CABOOSE Ugh. The big man hands the sign back to its owner and heads down the ramp as his music blares. Once he hits the ring, Hoff hops onto the ropes in the near corner and throws his fist in the air, shouting "YEAH!" as the crowd throws it right back. COLE Well folks, if you missed Battlebowl on Monday night, you missed one hell of an event. Thirty-two of the top superstars in this industry battled it out for the right to face Axel at Angleslam, and when it was all over, it was Hoff on top. CABOOSE He fought hard all night, Cole. I think after me, he was the odds-on favorite, but Leon Rodez and my man, Drek Stone, gave him a run for his money. Hoff climbs off the ropes and grabs a mic from ringside. COACH What about your "main man" Chris Stevens, 'Boozy? How was that? CABOOSE Phew. Excellent. We kicked those crippled guys' asses. COLE Right. Hoff moves the microphone to speak, but the crowd, still cheering, begins to chant his name and the big superstar just laughs and shakes his head. Hoff looks out at the crowd, waiting for them to finally quiet down. HOFF Now.....the first thing I'd like is for everyone to get up, get on your feet....everyone get up, and let's have a round of applause for Leon Rodez. The crowd pops pretty big for the sentiment, and soon the cheers turn into a full-fledged standing ovation for the New Age Love Machine. CABOOSE This is nauseating. It goes against everything I stand for. COLE (clapping) Hoff and Leon Rodez were the final two men in Monday's Battlebowl battle royal, and it could have gone either way at a moment's notice! The applause dies down as Hoff speaks. HOFF Leon....boy, you gave me a run for my money on Monday, and I gotta admit for a second there...just a second...I almost thought you had me. (laughs) But, seriously, Leon -- here's to you, and once I get my title back, you've got a shot anytime you want it. The crowd cheers for the offer, even breaking into a small "LE-ON!" chant. HOFF But Leon, now you know, and everyone knows...the future...has arrived. "YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!" HOFF Now. On to Angleslam....on to AXEL. The crowd goes WILD at the name of the OAOAST Champion! HOFF Axel...for three months, you and I have been going back and forth about getting it on. About what would happen if we locked horns, if we threw down, one-on-one, mano a mano, for the Heavyweight Championship of the World. And now, the dream is a reality. The match that these people-- "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" --these people have been DYING for is going to be a reality. Hoff and Axel, one-on-one, title on the line. And Axel...are you ready? "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" HOFF I mean, Axel, are you [i]really[/i] ready? Because I'm not here to play, Axel. I'm not some comedy act, some half-baked giant with magic thumbs. I'm the real thing, just like Coca-Cola, but it ain't gonna be sweet when I get my hands on you, [i]champ.[/i] Oh no, Axel, the friendship is out the window. At Angleslam, I am gonna kick your ass, take your title, and I promise you, you will know that the FUTURE...HAS... [b][color=red]*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!*[/color][/b] "Death Blooms" hits, and Hoff looks on in surprise as AXEL steps from behind the curtain! The OAOAST Heavyweight Champion looks at Hoff with FIRE~ in his eyes, the title belt gleaming proudly over the shoulder of his trenchcoat. Axel, with dark eyes, looks left, looks right, then... [b][color=red]*FWOOSH~!*[/color][/b] Axel hits the crucifix pose, lighting the ringposts and causing Hoff to jump back! The big man composes himself as the man who's been his best friend and his top rival hits the ring, stepping through the ropes and standing face to face with Hoff. Fortunately for our viewers at home, Axel has brought his own mic. AXEL So. That's how it is, huh, mate? Friendship out the window? You want me that bad? Then take your shot, Hoff. Take your shot right now. Axel sticks his chin out, offering up a nice target for Hoff. The fans buzz, but Hoff takes a step back. The big man takes off his sunglasses and tosses them to the side, pacing as Axel stares him down. HOFF Axel...for the past three months, you've been wearing the title I never should have lost, and through it all, I've had your back. Now, you and I go way back, back to the days of the Thrillogy, of the Bleeding Souls. And we've gone down that road, from bitter enemies to professional rivals...to friends. But through it all, I haven't lied to you once. Not one time. You know, and you have always known, that for me, nothing else means as much as that World Title. NOTHING. So when it comes time to lay it on the line, don't expect me to hold back, [i]mate.[/i] Because I'm bringing it the only way I know how: full speed ahead. Hoff looks Axel hard in the eyes as Axel digests what Hoff has just said. After a brief moment, Axel smirks at Hoff, his eyes unreadable. AXEL So you've had my back, huh, Hoff? Is that right? Then where the hell were you when CWM screwed me out of my title, huh? Where were you when six different people stuck their nose in my business? You weren't looking out for me, or your precious integrity...you were busy christening the evening "The Hoff Show." Hoff chuckles-- AXEL Don't you laugh, mate. Look at me. I asked you a question. Axel steps toward Hoff, getting right in his face, looking more than slightly pissed. Hoff stares at him, then steps back and raises the mic. HOFF You wanna question my integrity, you want to question my loyalty....let me ask YOU a question, Axel. When Drek Stone handed you the World Title on a silver platter, did you give him a phone call, or did you have the courtesy to thank him personally? "OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!" Axel's eyes go wide, flashing with anger. He tenses, balling his hands into fists. AXEL IF YOU THINK-- HOFF Here's what I think, CHAMP! I think for a guy who wants nothing to do with Drek Stone, you owe him an awful lot. I think for a guy who claims to be such a bad-ass, you've had an awful lot of help along the way. And I think that if it wasn't for this new youth movement, I'd be out here talking to Tony Brannigan. That's what I think. Axel's eyes narrow, dark and cold, as he fires back. AXEL You wanna know what I think, [i]future?[/i] I think you're the last one to talk. You've had a career because of the Underground. Title reigns bought and paid for by the Thrillogy. Your whole professional life has been on the backs of others, Hoff. And *I* think that if you weren't the luckiest man on Earth, I'd be out here talking to Leon Rodez. That's what *I* think, pal. But I tell you what. You want to question me? Fine. You'd be the last in a long list of people to stab me in the back. Axel, still talking, turns around, facing the aisleway, his back to Hoff. AXEL Go ahead, Hoff. If you really think I'm the big, bad, wolf, here's your chance. If you can't trust me, then take me out. Axel holds his arms out to the sides, his guard nonexistant. The fans are going CRAZY as Hoff eyes his Angleslam opponent with confusion. COLE This is UNREAL!! COACH Is Hoff going to do it? CABOOSE He's a fool not to! This is your Angleslam opponent, guy! TAKE HIM OUT! The audience ROARS as Hoff balls his fist, looking down at it. Hoff looks back at Axel, then back at his fist..... ...and lets it go. HOFF No. "YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Axel turns around, looking genuinely surprised that Hoff didn't just lay into him. CABOOSE What a wimp. Hoff shakes his head, causing Axel to smile. HOFF It ain't gonna be like that. "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" "AX-EL!! AX-EL!! AX-EL!! AX-EL!! AX-EL!! AX-EL!! " HOFF If you say you're not with Drek Stone...that's good enough for me. The crowd ERUPTS as Axel nods!! HOFF But it doesn't change the facts, Axel. At Angleslam, you and I are gonna meet for the Heavyweight Championship of the World. I won't hold back. I know you won't, either. You and me, Hoff and Axel, just like it was meant to be. One for the ages. Hoff steps back...and extends his hand...and Axel accepts to a MONSTROUS ovation!! HOFF And when it's over, Axel? When the dust has settled....when the smoke has cleared...when I have my title back. I promise you...you will know. Axel chuckles. AXEL I'll see you there...friend. "Death Blooms" hits the arena speakers as Axel lets go of Hoff's hand, stepping through the ropes and walking backwards up the ramp. Both men smile half-smiles, but neither one takes his eyes off each other. COLE You can FEEL the electricity in the air!! AXEL!! HOFF!! The OAOAST Title will be decided at Angleslam!!

EL PRIMERO CONTENDRE~ (woot) will be in the house, with something to say. Also, CSI will address their internal issues.

I was glad (and I know you're not ACTUALLY calling shenanigans, I'm just commenting). Hoff vs. Drek would have seemed contrived, a little too coincidental. Hoff vs. Leon is fresh and intriguing.

I've skimmed everything, but I did read the Battle Royal and it was pretty damn good. I liked the battle lines being drawn in the middle...made for a cool visual. A lot of cool moments actually, and it told a good story. So props to KC. And w00t to me then.

Oh....oh dear...I haven't finished reading yet but I had to say: I love you, KC.

Start setting your alarm five minutes late.

FWIW, I edited the PR/Italian title lineage to reflect that Tha Puerto Rican had three reigns. Before this, it said PR, PR (x2) and PR (x2). Hmm.....

Hall got kicked by Chris Stevens once. Austin actually got the BETTER of him on one show. And for what it's worth, I like Axel vs. Batista. It's a fun little exhibition. We all know the main attraction of the Battlebowl is, well, the Battlebowl, so this is something a little less serious, to spice up the event a little.

I can do it most mornings, but it's not reliable enough for me to shut off my alarm clock. Also, I have a high propensity to want to sleep until the last minute. But yeah, I can do it, and have been able to for a couple years. It's pretty cool.

'Twas my buddy icon for one sweet eleven days.

^^^ I bet he tore his quad.

COLE Welcome back to HeldDown, everyone. Now folks, I've been informed that due to a flight mix-up, CSI will not be here tonight. CABOOSE That's a shame, I would have liked to see how my main man Stevens was doing. COLE Well, good news for you, Caboose! Chris Stevens called us from his cell phone, and said that he will be here, with ALL of CSI, INCLUDING Brock Ausstin, NEXT WEEK! COACH Well damn! All right! CABOOSE Get well, Chris. [color=silver][b]*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!*[/b][/color] "YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" "Black" hits the arena speakers and the crowd comes to life! The fans are buzzing in anticipation...and OUT STEPS HOFF! The big man looks like a million bucks in his "H" t-shirt and jeans, a winning smile on his face. Hoff lets out a ROAR that sends shockwaves through the crowd! COLE LISTEN TO THIS OVATION!! Hoff walks down the aisle, nodding at the cheering fans. The big man stops about halfway down the aisle, grabbing a sign that reads "HOFF 1:23" in big letters. Hoff smiles and holds the sign high overhead, reminding the world of his victory over Drek Stone. CABOOSE I can't believe this. Last Sunday was the greatest miscarriage of justice I have ever seen. COLE Caboose... CABOOSE NO! Hoff robbed Drek Stone of a victory that was rightfully his. COACH A victory? How do you figure that, playa? CABOOSE Come on! Drek Stone outwrestled Hoff the entire match, and Hoff only won because he used dirty tricks. COLE What are you talking about? Hoff had Drek Stone's number the entire match! CABOOSE Because of the dirty tricks! COLE In any event, Hoff scored a pinfall victory over Drek Stone last Sunday at the Great Angle Bash, gaining some measure of revenge! Hoff finishes his stride to the ring and slides under the bottom rope, climbing to his feet and hopping onto the ropes! The crowd screams their lungs out as Hoff throws his fist into the air, setting off flashbulbs across the arena! The big man poses for the people, then hops off the buckle, smiling as he grabs a mic. "HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF! HOFF!" HOFF Welcome. "TO THE FUTURE!!" HOFF And Drek Stone...now you know. The future has arrived. "YEEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!" HOFF And every time you look in the mirror, I want you to remember that I have your number. Anytime...anyplace...I OWN you. "YEEEEAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" HOFF Now. On...to the Battlebowl. The fans buzz at the mention of the event. HOFF You see, I told the world that if I had to, I would go through each and every superstar in this locker room to get my title shot. Well, this Monday, the Fourth of July, I'll get that chance. At the Battlebowl, it's me and 31 other men, face to face, in this ring, winner take all. The prize: a shot at the World Heavyweight Title. "YEEEEAAAAHHH!!!!" HOFF And that means one thing, and one thing only. Everybody else better get out of my way, or you are going to get hurt. Because I promise you....I [i]promise[/i] you...I am walking out of Battlebowl the number one contender. Now, Axel... The name of Axel gets a HUGE reaction...but not all positive! Several fans are jeering the name of the two-time World Champion, while the core remains faithful to the Dark One. HOFF Axel, I don't know where you stand...and frankly, I don't care. If you're with Drek, or against him...that's your business. I don't want any part of this war. All I want is the belt around your waist. And after Battlebowl, I am coming for you. You and me, Axel. Your date with destiny. And in the end, there can only be one. Enjoy your title, my friend. Enjoy it while you can. Hoff flips the mic down and exits to huge cheers as "Black" kicks in again! COLE Strong words from Hoff. Folks, Battlebowl will be LIVE this Monday, so join us then! And we've got a lot more HeldDOWN to come, so stay tuned!

Hi! Um, Stevens is kinda booked thru Slam...sorry! Now, if the Ultimate X match were to be held at AS instead of LTP, Richards could appear, but not Stevens so much. So yeah.