Ace309

MAIN EVENT COLD FRONT CLASSIC SEMIFINAL/ICTV TITLE BOUT SECRET SANTA MATCH #1 Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix (SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion) v. #5 "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) -> Finally, after weeks upon weeks of waiting, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins gets a chance to cash in on his ICTV Championship shot. He won this a while back in a tag team title match with "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, but never were the stars aligned so that Jenkins could cash in. The stars of these two men collided, however, when Maddix scored a victory over Christian Fury and Jenkins, ironically enough, scored a victory over Cortez, sending both men to the semifinals of the Cold Front Classic tournament. The Intercontinental-Television Championship and a berth in the finals of the Cold Front Classic are at stake in this match, and you know both men are going to be psyched! Rules: A SECRET! Jenkins and Maddix will both be getting PMs about the stip for this match -- everyone else will just be left to wonder! Word Limit: 7000 Marker: Ace309 COLD FRONT CLASSIC SEMIFINAL SECRET SANTA MATCH #2 "The Icon" Max King v. #3 Sacred -> And in the first semifinal of the evening, we see "The Icon" Max King, fresh off a win over David Cross, taking on Sacred, coming off of a big win over Manson. Rules: A SECRET! King and Sacred will both be getting PMs about the stip for this match -- everyone else will just be left to wonder! Word Limit: 7000 Marker: Powerplay FANS BRING THE WEAPONS SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Christian Fury (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. Sean Davis -> So how many of you watched the Pacers/Pistons Friday night? God knows I did, and man, what a game, eh? Some of you will remember that the fans threw glorious quantities of beverage onto Pacer forward Ron Artest, causing the burly black man to go into the stands after said fan. Well, the SWF is making a stop in Detroit, and our burly black man, Sean Davis, is going to have to deal with fans with weapons too! Rules: No rules. Be creative, guys. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Chuck Woolery ELIMINATION SIX-MAN TAG David Cross (SWF Tag Team Champion) and Hollywood Boulevard? (Ghost and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Toxxic, Kaine and Austin Sly -> Yeah, so a bunch of guys at the office were saying "Dude, how can we possibly get Toxxic to lose a match?" And, well, this is what we came up with. David Cross is one-half of the Tag champions, but this match is loaded with potential tag contenders. On his team alone is one of the top-ranked SWF Tag Teams today... but who the hell is Ghost? Who cares? On Toxxic's side... haha, poor bastard... is the budding team of Kaine and Austin Sly, who are hoping to find some success in the tag ranks. Word is that there's going to be something big involving the tag division on Smarkdown, so this might be some good practice... Rules: Normal tags in-and-out, if you get pinned, submit, or are DQed you're eliminated. Last team to have at least one man eligible for competition wins. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Thoth Opening Promo: Austin Sly

“Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the national anthem.” Funyon steps into the center of the ring, accompanied by SWF Bases Loaded Training Center alum “Picture Perfect” Aaron Carpenter and flavor-of-the-month Bryan Levy. With that, the background music begins to play. Funyon begins… “La-da-da-da-dahh It's the motherfuckin D-O-double-G (SNOOP DOGG!) La-da-da-da-dahh You know I'm mobbin with the D.R.E. (YEAH YEAH YEAH You know who's back up in this MOTHERFUCKER!) What what what what? (So blaze the weed up then!) Blaze it up, blaze it up! (Just blaze that shit up nigga, yeah, 'sup Snoop??) Top Dogg, bite me all, nigga burn the shit up D-P-G-C my nigga turn that shit up C-P-T, L-B-C, yeah we hookin back up And when they bang this in the club baby you got to get up Thug niggaz drug dealers yeah they givin it up Lowlife, yo' life, boy we livin it up Takin chances while we dancin in the party fo' sho' Slip my hoe a forty-fo' and she got in the back do' Bitches lookin at me strange but you know I don't care Step up in this motherfucker just a-swangin my hair Bitch quit talkin, quick walk if you down with the set Take a bullet with some dick and take this dope from this jet Out of town, put it down for the Father of Rap And if yo' ass get cracked, bitch shut yo' trap Come back, get back, that's the part of success If you believe in the X you'll be relievin your stress La-da-da-da-dahh” Carpenter adds, “It's the motherfuckin D.R.E. (Dr. Dre MOTHERFUCKER!) Funyon retorts, “La-da-da-da-dahhh” And Carpenter picks up, “ You know I'm mobbin with the D-O-double-G Straight off the fuckin streets of C-P-T King of the beats you ride to em in your Fleet (Fleetwood) or Coupe DeVille rollin on dubs How you feelin whoopty=whoop nigga whut? Dre and Snoop chronic'ed out in the 'llac with Doc in the back, sippin on 'gnac (yeah) Clip in the strap, dippin through hoods (what hoods?) Compton, Long Beach, Inglewood! South Central out to the Westside (wessyde) It's California Love, this California bud got a nigga gang of pub I'm on one, I might bail up in the Century Club with my jeans on, and my team strong Get my drink on, and my smoke on Then go home with, somethin to poke on (whassup bitch?) Loc it's on for the two-triple-oh Comin real, it's the next episode...” Levy, saving the best for last, brings up the rear. “Hold up, heyyyyyyyy for my niggaz who be thinkin we soft We don't, playyyyyyy We gon' rock it til the wheels fall off Hold up, heyyyyyyyy for my niggaz who be actin too bold Take a, seeaaaaaat Hope you ready for the next episode HeyyyeyyyeEYEYyyyEYYYY.... .... smoke weed everday!” The crowd stands, bursting into cheers for an astoundingly patriotic rendition of “The Next Episode” as the show opens.

Not in the least. They're about a quarter- or half-inch wide and look like they're made of rubber.

Don't make me get the Bus.

FallToZero428: I'm gonna need an extension. TomIofIV: It's not December 1. FallToZero428: ... FallToZero428: holy shit FallToZero428: I thought it was due today. FallToZero428: Fantastic. IT'S NOT DUE TODAY.

At that point, I was just writing you as Paul Prudhomme.

Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT.

The story behind Dace the Reindeer, as written by yours truly. I wasn't trying to be humiliating, actually, but just have some fun.

As some of you may know, my acsu.buffalo.edu account is going to get trashed very soon. http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~tflesher/icons and http://www.acsu.buffalo.edu/~tflesher/photos are going to go boom. If anyone has webspace where we can upload the picture and icon collections, I'd fuck you till you loved me.

And in any case, it passes the "half your age plus seven" rule, even disregarding that once everyone's over 23 it's all good anyway. - Tom's wrestling coach, who was 29 when he married a 23-year-old

Oh, sure. COME ON! BE A MAN! STEP UP! WHAT?! WHAT?! YEAH, YOU BETTA WALK AWAY! ::sprints for dear life::

All evidence aside, I HAVE been reading these, and they've been very well-written. Considering that the story isn't over, I'll refrain from commenting on that aside from saying that I like the way it's developing and I really enjoyed the "story-behind" snippets in the pictures that you've written for this promo.

Mostly, I just dream about sitting in the Oval Office wearing my Olympic gold medal, smoking cigars and drinking scotch.

I was very disappointed in the number of no-shows. Hopefully we've weeded out most of them and the semis will be very competitive. Toxxic, as usual, brought the content.

::polite applause:: Congratulations!

Upon further review, I find the title of the thread quite amusing. That is all.

I'd suggest you didn't quite grasp what was written in the thread. I read through it again and I'm not quite sure where you got it from. Also, if you're going to steal someone's finisher, treat it with some respect. Kibagami got the Demonstar over because it was deadly, but also because it was so god damn well-written. You... treated it in about 20 words. The match itself had several weak points. The most glaring is that you obviously didn't edit the match at all... it's peppered with misspellings, your cadence is bizarre and you refer to Jet as "Jazz" on several occasions. The cadence thing aside, these just make your match look sloppy. When your writing skills are widely disparate from your opponent's, as they are in this case (and I hope you're aware of that and realize that I'm not just taking a potshot), you need to spend extra time mitigating things that make you look bad. You obviously didn't in this case. As far as cadence goes, you have to remember that writing is like talking, only less committed. Some of your sentences seem to employ weird or choppy structures that may be intentional (attempts at being poetic) or may just be the result of typing and not thinking about what you're writing. That's okay - we all do it - but it's very, very important to go back and look at some of it. The easiest way to see whether something flows is just to read it out loud (or imagine yourself saying it). If it sounds bad, well, it probably is. The psychology was spotty. It didn't seem to develop anything, but rather felt a lot like "Here's some offense, here's Toxxic on offense, but wait, here's more Carnage offense." Read the post on psychology that Dace linked to. It describes in detail a lot of things that you can add to matches that not only help your match seem more coherent but will help anchor you to a specific story within the match.

Listen, I'm only backing down because I'm afraid you'll hit me with your tampon.

The card was booked without figuring in the Penn Station Brawl. TNT has whatever matches were sent in and will either edit it in or PM it to me or Mike when he gets the chance.

Mike booked it, ass. Get off my lawn!

The Smartmarks wrestling Federation presents... SWF LOCKDOWN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1, LIVE FROM THE PALACE AT AUBURN HILLS IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN! (5:00pm PDT, 8:00pm EDT; check local listings) Send marked matches, promos, etc. to Ace309 Due to the Thanksgiving holidays, there will be no Storm for this week! Non-Americans everywhere will scratch their heads and wonder why we're all celebrating the persecution of Indians, but they'll be thankful that they're getting nine days to rest up before the EPIC encounters at what's sure to be the biggest Lockdown in recent history! Without further ado... the card! MAIN EVENT COLD FRONT CLASSIC SEMIFINAL/ICTV TITLE BOUT SECRET SANTA MATCH #1 Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix (SWF Intercontinental-Television Champion) v. #5 "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins (SWF Cruiserweight Champion) -> Finally, after weeks upon weeks of waiting, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins gets a chance to cash in on his ICTV Championship shot. He won this a while back in a tag team title match with "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, but never were the stars aligned so that Jenkins could cash in. The stars of these two men collided, however, when Maddix scored a victory over Christian Fury and Jenkins, ironically enough, scored a victory over Cortez, sending both men to the semifinals of the Cold Front Classic tournament. The Intercontinental-Television Championship and a berth in the finals of the Cold Front Classic are at stake in this match, and you know both men are going to be psyched! Rules: A SECRET! Jenkins and Maddix will both be getting PMs about the stip for this match -- everyone else will just be left to wonder! Word Limit: 7000 Marker: Ace309 COLD FRONT CLASSIC SEMIFINAL SECRET SANTA MATCH #2 "The Icon" Max King v. #3 Sacred -> And in the first semifinal of the evening, we see "The Icon" Max King, fresh off a win over David Cross, taking on Sacred, coming off of a big win over Manson. Rules: A SECRET! King and Sacred will both be getting PMs about the stip for this match -- everyone else will just be left to wonder! Word Limit: 7000 Marker: Powerplay FANS BRING THE WEAPONS SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT Christian Fury (SWF Hardcore Champion) v. Sean Davis -> So how many of you watched the Pacers/Pistons Friday night? God knows I did, and man, what a game, eh? Some of you will remember that the fans threw glorious quantities of beverage onto Pacer forward Ron Artest, causing the burly black man to go into the stands after said fan. Well, the SWF is making a stop in Detroit, and our burly black man, Sean Davis, is going to have to deal with fans with weapons too! Rules: No rules. Be creative, guys. Word Limit: 5000 Marker: Chuck Woolery ELIMINATION SIX-MAN TAG David Cross (SWF Tag Team Champion) and Hollywood Boulevard? (Ghost and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez v. Toxxic, Kaine and Austin Sly -> Yeah, so a bunch of guys at the office were saying "Dude, how can we possibly get Toxxic to lose a match?" And, well, this is what we came up with. David Cross is one-half of the Tag champions, but this match is loaded with potential tag contenders. On his team alone is one of the top-ranked SWF Tag Teams today... but who the hell is Ghost? Who cares? On Toxxic's side... haha, poor bastard... is the budding team of Kaine and Austin Sly, who are hoping to find some success in the tag ranks. Word is that there's going to be something big involving the tag division on Smarkdown, so this might be some good practice... Rules: Normal tags in-and-out, if you get pinned, submit, or are DQed you're eliminated. Last team to have at least one man eligible for competition wins. Word Limit: 5500 Marker: Thoth Opening Promo: Austin Sly ALSO ON LOCKDOWN: A full nine days after having his World title hopes derailed by Toxxic, will Carnage have any comments on his status? Or will Frisco be doing all the talking for him? Plus, Toxxic will certainly have something to say about the possibility of an all-Revolution Zero final in the Cold Front Classic! Christian Fury and David Cross, while not defending them this show, have been coasting with the Tag belts recently, and there's at least one team that's none too happy about that! And will Ron Artest or Jermaine O'Neal show their faces in Detroit? It all goes down next Wednesday, on LOCKDOWN!

FYI, Toxx, we don't count the break at all. Sorry to burst your bubble. Wait, no I'm not.

HEY! Comment, you bunch of putzes.

Noted. Now back in your cage, Leaguer.

Very disappointed in the lack of promoage, although it's understandable with the tournament tying up the bulk of the federation. I was a little distressed that Cross and Stryke both no-showed to Max King, although I'm not surprised that the tag match was a schmozz for reasons that may later become obvious. I highly recommend reading Sacred's match. If you can convince a girl to fellate you and let you drink a beer while you do, you'll experience heaven.