Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye

A post from Metal Maniac in the "Things that annoy the shit out of you...." thread. I'm going to use this post to pimp off an excellent essay about the genres of Heavy Metal and what they mean/meant and what some of the thoughts behind them were. I'm also going to point to some important albums that best represent the respective genres. http://anus.com/metal/about/philosophy/ Heavy Metal: 'With heavy metal, the style of Black Sabbath was solidified, but deeply hybridized with the progressive rock, Celtic folk and electric blues fusion of Led Zeppelin, having influences also from aggro-prog bands like King Crimson and Jade Warrior. The late 1960s culminated in rock being bored with itself, and after the Beatles went progressive and British and American blues-rock guitarists aimed for more lengthy, complex works, rock essentially turning progressive in nature. "Progressive" is perhaps a misnomer, as there's no "progress" in re-incorporating influences from classical music, but for rock it was progress from the simplistic pop of the 1950s to incorporate new styles and vastly adulterate the blues framework of rock (the blues is a syncopated version of Celtic and German folk-pop, formed in America of the mixture of cultures; like most popular music on all continents, it features easily transposed chord progressions and a basic song structure which allows easy melodic improvisation).....(click above for the rest)" RHTITE recommendations for this genre: Early years of Black Sabbath with Ozzy at the helm. Iron Maiden Y'all should know about these guys, even as an observer who hasn't commited fully to the genre yet. Speed Metal and Thrash: Arguably the first genre to emerge was speed metal, which followed expanded heavy metal structures but used muffled strumming to turn ringing chords into short explosive bursts of bass-intensive sound. This made the music more aesthetically menacing, and for a long time, guaranteed it zero airplay. On the other end of the spectrum, thrash music made less frequent use of muffled chords but took on two forms: metal riffs in punk song structures (Corrosion Of Conformity, Dirty Rotten Imbeciles) and punk riffs in metal song structures (Cryptic Slaughter, dead horse). Speed metal tended to use metal riffs in metal song structures but show the influence of hardcore music in riff texturing, which evoked the sounds of one-chord rhythm riffing, and in general uptempo songwriting and abrupt changes in melodic line within each song. Perhaps the best examples of speed metal were Metallica, Exodus and Slayer; the first two were based around muffled-chord player, while the latter focused on playing quick fluid phrases known for their complexity, and using introductory sequences of riffs like a progressive band in simple, aggressive form.....click above for more I don't recommend nothin from this genre, due to general lack of knowledge Grincore and Death Metal: It is probably a mistake to view grindcore as anything but an extremist extension of thrash, but much as Venom contributed aesthetics in the form of primitive punkish riffing and over-the-top Satanic and occult lyrics, grindcore contributed the biologically distorted vocals which would also be a trait of death metal and black metal. These are achieved by, much as one overdrives an amplifier to distort sound, pitching one's vocal chords in a position too low or too high for the sound produced, and then forcing it through violently (it will become clear around 2020, when these musicians hit their fifties, whether or not this causes a dramatic increase in throat cancer). Hardcore musicians used an approximation of this, much like the growling surly cadences of Wattie with the Exploited, but grindcore took it to a new extreme, in songs which were punkish and abruptly short like those of thrash, but even more inclined toward chromatic and harmonically-nullifying chord progressions. This was a music beyond protest; it destroyed music itself in order to create a wall of sound which was unnacceptable in any social listening, would never get radio airplay and annoyed and disturbed anyone not acquainted with the genre...See above for the article recommendations from this genre: Suffocation - Pierced From Within. Like a band rising out of the sewers, with nyhc middle fingers and accents in full effect, Suffocation created slabs of death metal that took cbgb hard core into it's furthest realm of musical possibility, and turned it into flowing and liquid like extreme music that spawned a million clones(mostly from New York and Florida). Most 'big' death metal bands owe suffocation their utmost gratitude for leading the way. At The Gates - The Red In The Sky Is Ours Swedish death from a time before sweden became a popular jumping off point for the genre. Thus the band was free to roam within the genre, at times taking ideas from thrash or even prototypical black metal (speed picked guitar runs abound on this album), all the while coming across as a newborn in the world, coming up with ideas and beliefs born out of pure musical innocence. Far superior to their much more heralded "Slaughter Of The Soul" outing. Possibly the first and best Death/Black crossover artist, many bands from each genre owe gratitude to At The Gates. Massacra - Final Holocaust French death dealers who decided to use the pure frantic speed and technicality of Reign In Blood and mix it with the rhythm and melody of Arise, and take the style of Slayer and Sepultura to their next logical extension within death metal. A look at what could have been had both of those bands not run out of ideas after their respective runs of high creativity. Gorguts - 2 albums: Obscura and From Wisdom To Hate Where many technical grind bands strived to create a maddening cacophony of noise and seemingly random technicality, Gorguts moved to stretch the boundaries of music itself, let alone death metal. Everything has a place, but the 'place' is so packed with musical data, it can be hard to decipher at first glance. Musicians with ability bordering on the absurd and a consciousness that gives the ability to create discernable music out of pure chaos. Amorphis - Tales From The Thousand Lakes Highly rhythmic Death Metal from the northest of the north countryside of Finland, Amorphis seem to strive to invent a new type of folk incorporating elements from their Swedish neighbours slowed down to provide a view of the gripping music from a storyteller point, instead of the destruction that is prevalent in most other Death styles. Cryptopsy - do a board search and you'll likely find what you need to get started on them Doom and Grunge: During the early 1990s, an offshoot movement of death metal merged with the older style of heavy droning rock that Black Sabbath had pioneered, and formed doom metal, a genre fragment that immediately offered enough possiblity that it rapidly mutated and then died under its own weight. ... Influenced in part by Celtic Frost and other classic metal and punk bands, Nirvana burst onto the mainstream radio with a new style called "grunge" that was part metal and punk, but mostly mournful, out-of-the-closet angsty rock which featured droning vocals and simple punklike riffs. Other interesting acts were Mudhoney and Alice in Chains; both enjoyed popularity with metalheads, with the most crossover being with doom audiences. This is in part because musically, these two genres were the most similar, and aesthetically, they both addressed a fatalism which some overcame and others (Goodbye Mr. Cobain) did not....click above for more recommended bands: Early albums Cathedral, before they began their parody of the genre and final evolution into the realm of stoner metal. Nirvana - we all know about them by now Alice In Chains - ditto Black Metal: Unlike death metal , black metal was explicitly melodic in composition, although there were multiple interpretations of how to compose it. Immortal started out resembling later Bathory, but evolved into fast melodies of power chords over incomprehensibly fast, muddled drumming, which demoted the influence of drums to secondary and let guitars function as the primary composition instrument, with vocals (!) being the predominant rhythm instrument. Darkthrone began not far from a hybrid between Swedish death metal and doom metal, but quickly began a tribute to the more extreme aspects of older Bathory, with songs staged dramatically such that a story unfolded and was presented as one might in a theatre, with percussion and pacing to match the scene. Burzum resembled the best of death metal in its smoothly chained collection of riffs and narrative, mimetic composition, but over time moved closer to ambient music. Emperor and Gorgoroth were neoclassical music over traditional drums at a higher pace, with less focus on fills than on counterbalancing internal rhythms within songs. Between these techniques and the range of melody - with varied emotions, moods and developing phrases based on previous motifs - modern black metal represents the highest evolution of metal as a technical and artistic musical genre. Black Metal highest recommendations: Enslaved - Vikingligr Veldi Immortal - All Burzum - All Emperor - In The Nightside Eclipse and Anthems To The Welkin At Dusk Darkthrone - Transylvanian Hunger and A Blaze In The Northern Sky See http://anus.com/metal/about/blackmetal.html for comprehensive reviews of the above Black Metal bands, and many more. Go forth. Oh and Metal Maniac is a horrible horrible person if he thinks anyone should check out Cannible Corpse, even as an example of something.

Don't worry Piss, that joker was just joking. It's what he does.

Either you smoke, or you don't. Pick one. Fuck.

I would change the cd in Agent's cd player without fear

Can I fuck your waist asshole? - LSD

You haven't been around long enough to rebel like this.

I don't think I can function here without the forum descriptions intact.

That's just a sympton of a strong need for an attention grabbing gimmick, false individuality, and double dipping at the snack table.

Upon further reflection, I should say that the reaction of people getting all up in arms and such is what's funny about it.

I believe that these are the things you're looking for http://www.fruityloops.com/English/frames.html http://www.cakewalk.com/ A much more fun and likely rewarding method would be to find 2 or three other guys to fuck around on instruments and see what happens.

Why are you so grouchy? Can't you see that Banky is reaching out to you?

Pretty funny clip/song.

Fuck you, that stuff was great

The biggest problem is that he switched his writing style after the first paragraph. Convinces me that he doesn't actually talk the way he writes it in the following paragraphs, and it would be awesome if he actually talked that way. I'm dissapointed. But not too much

Make me a moderator of something. I do quite deserve it.

He actually isn't that great.

Ok, Piss has just covered my birthday present. What are the rest of you getting me?

Kotzenjunge to Meatwad Meatwad replies Nuh-uh. Kotz, are you gonna just sit there and take that?

What are you implying?

Agent Of Oblivion, where's my fucking gore???

you'd like that, wouldn't you?

At least Banky understands.

Got my seal of approval

You let the weather fuck with your mood? Clown.

Yes, that should do well to bring him some bling.