cabbageboy

I dunno what the deal is but there are still no SD spoilers up. Don't think I've ever seen a lack of spoilers this long after the show ended. I hit a nerve with the comment about Benoit technically never being WCW champion. If WWE recognizes it then in my opinion they are wrong, since if you recognize it then how many Dusty Finishes from the 1980s would have to be recognized post facto? Yeah, everyone knows they stripped him of the belt because he quit, but this was not the actual ruling that was presented on TV. Oh and in regards to something said about how HHH got the world title in 2002. HHH did in fact beat UT in a #1 contender match to face Lesnar, but then Brock bolted for SD. Once that happened Bischoff declared the Unified title un-unified and HHH got the belt. Where it gets fuzzy is this debate: Is the current World Title actually the WCW title? After the Invasion was over Linda McMahon declared the WCW title to simply be the World Title and it was quickly unified with the WWF title. To me the title awarded to HHH was this same title, since Lesnar leaving for SD split the unification back to its pre Dec. 2001 state.

Blake's was really bizarre and I didn't like it very much, but I'm not going to get too carried away here. Hell, he tinkered with a Bon Jovi song that's pretty lightweight anyway. Not like he did that beatboxing crap with Stairway to Heaven, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Iron Man, etc. I have a new respect for Bon Jovi after tonight since everyone was fairly cringe worthy. It may not happen but Jordin should be toast after that horrendous outing tonight doing Livin on a Prayer. Richardson is likely gone as well. Dare I say Phil may have been the best tonight? He was the closest to being right for the material at any rate.

Okay would you mind explaining to me how the FUCK RVD is going to revenge himself on Vince? Go ahead, I want to hear this shit. I wanna know how Van Dam is going to one up Vince when his contract is almost up and he's bound to get buried. I'm just hoping next week has Umaga, Shane, Estrada, and the entire Corporate Ministry running in to help Vince win that match. Honestly if they were going to do an angle of this type why not use Shane in this role instead of Vince? He'd make a lot more sense and would be the annoying rich punk trying to be hardcore (which is what his in ring efforts have always been). Shane vs. RVD might be a compelling match for obvious reasons. RVD vs. Vince? It's going to suck and even worse it'll be offensive on numerous levels. They almost had something with ECW over the past month. The Originals/New Breed angle was clicking after a rocky initial act of the storyline. CM Punk was heavily involved. Now they have pissed away all that good will in record time, and not only have they got the belt on Vince but the whole Punk/New Breed angle has already lost all its mojo. That angle went from being fascinating and cool to now just having Punk kinda wreck the faction...and that's about it. Nothing interesting like Burke orders the rest of them to attack Punk but then they stop and instead follow Punk and beat Burke's ass. Just Punk kicking Thorn's ass tonight and Thorn quits. Huh? Oh and one last thing. Who the hell thought it'd be a good idea to play Warrant on an ECW show? I was pissed at that tonight because it reminded me of when I went to a WCW house show in July 2000 and the Nitro Girls did a brief routine to Cherry Pie. Hair band shit like Warrant is the exact stuff ECW would have never, ever played on TV.

Actually from a technical standpoint Benoit is only a 1 time world champ. Yeah, he did beat Sid in that Souled Out 2000 match but Arn Anderson reversed it the next night (Sid's foot was under the rope) and Benoit was stripped of the belt. People only say Benoit "held" the title because he left WCW immediately after that. If for instance he had stayed and they did the same finish would anyone say he'd technically been world champ? Nope. It'd be your typical Dusty Finish. There's plenty of lackluster ways they can go with this, none truly awful aside from Henry getting the belt for any amount of time. Kane would be okay albeit uninspired. Batista again would be "eh." I actually kinda like that RVD idea of dangling the world title as a carrot to get him to sign, since there are some fresh matchups with him on SD and possible ECW crossover that could help both brands. That is a reach right now though.

Okay I found one more thing Umaga might be useful for once this Vince/ECW stuff blows over. He can tag with Khali as the New Colossal Connection. I am dreading that possible Vince/RVD match if RVD doesn't sign. If you're Van Dam why even agree to this shit when it can only hurt your potential value elsewhere to be jobbed out and buried? Surely there's some minor surgery he could have that would let him ride out the next 2 months.

Keep in mind that they are putting Khali in the main event on Raw as well. I assumed that they would give him some sort of lame duck title match on PPV just to not give away further Cena/Michaels matches for a while, with the idea being that they would have UT vs. Batista HIAC to main event Judgment Day. Now they will have Khali main eventing and no HIAC it looks like.

To me this begins and ends with The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Gotta be one of the most unfairly maligned movies of all time.

I've noticed that with Cena. When he used to be on SD he was almost totally cheered because he was facing scrubs that nobody could possibly cheer (early Carlito, Bradshaw, Dupree). When he faces guys with actual credibility and fanbases (Angle, HHH, HBK, even Jericho) he gets dumped on. So now I guess the solution is not to just job him and get the belt off him, but have Cena face guys on Raw that nobody can possibly take seriously (Umaga, Khali). As far as RVD jobbing, yeah I knew it was going to happen. Anyone jobbing to Umaga at this point is silly though, since as that one sign said last night on Raw "Umaga's 3 minutes are up." Umaga's character arc is something condusive to the typical Hogan fat jobber from the 80s or a typical UT feud in the 90s: Build up some monster heel, have him beat down Hogan or steal the urn, then Hogan/UT beats his ass and sends him packing. They build Umaga up as a monster, jobbed him to Cena and Lashley...now send him packing.

Let me clarify my view on the Houston Rockets circa 1994-95. In no way am I saying their wins weren't legit. I mean it's not like the Spurs winning their first title in 1999 in a strike year, which I've always found a bit dubious (doesn't really matter since the Spurs were hardly a 1 hit wonder). Houston's main problem has always been a PR thing that boils down to two things: 1. They may have beaten the Suns, Spurs, Jazz, Knicks, and Magic, but they never beat the Jordan Bulls and thus history will never put them on as high of a level than if they had beaten the Bulls. This isn't their fault, it's just the way it is. 2. The Rockets were frankly a dull team and there were other teams that captured the public's imagination a lot more. The Suns, Magic, Knicks (as a heel), and even the Reggie Miller Pacers all were more interesting than the Rockets. The 1994 playoffs were all about what the Knicks were doing. Namely the screwy way they finally beat the Bulls, then the crazed series against the Pacers, and then finally the Knicks getting their comeuppance against Houston in the Finals. The Rockets were just kinda the team that was there to beat them and people were like "Yay, those bastard Knicks finally lost!" Hell, in 1995 the Rockets were kind of an afterthought up until the Finals. Most of the interest in those playoffs was for the Bulls/Magic series, and the Knicks/Pacers rematch. Considering the Rockets had to go through Utah, Phoenix, and San Antonio to get back to the Finals I don't think anyone much paid attention nationally until they actually DID get back and faced the Magic. That's quite the impressive run, but I think Phoenix choked big time against the Rockets that year. They were 12 games better in the standings, had home court, had a 3-1 series lead, and still blew it.

Khali can win the belt and be this dominant guy and people will wonder "Gee, who can possibly take this guy out?" And then HHH comes back. Wham, bam, pedigree. Here is the aspect of the treatment of RVD that I don't totally understand. Yes, he hasn't signed a new deal. But he's involved right now in what very well could be the top program in the company (no, this Cena/Khali crap isn't exactly important). I didn't even mind Van Dam jobbing tonight, but in the fashion he did? No run in of any kind to show that Vince is hell bent on screwing over the ECW Originals? I mean correct me if I'm wrong but the endgame of this basically has to be an Original kicking Vince's ass for the title, or else this is a colossal waste of time. Cause I don't see what else you can do with it. When RVD's contract was up in 2004 he was on Smackdown and doing a grand total of jack shit. It seems curious that they would involve a guy whose contract is up in a major angle like this Vince/ECW thing, not to mention give him the 10:00 segment on Raw and then discuss the match on and off the rest of the show. This could go one of two ways in my view: 1. RVD signs and then headlines ONS and beats the fuck out of Vince to take back the ECW title. That would be quite the surreal match, and dare I say would be the wildly flamboyant, insane title win Van Dam SHOULD have had last year at ONS. 2. RVD doesn't sign a deal and they still go with him vs. Vince and use it as an excuse to once and for all bury RVD and the Originals, and probably even work in an insulting finish where Shane hits Van Dam with the Van Terminator on his way out.

I have to admit Khali being the guy is kinda funny. Let's face it, Judgment Day will likely have UT/Batista in a HIAC match or something vicious, so they can get away with this silly Cena/Khali crap until going back to Cena vs. Michaels. I bet Khali doesn't actually job there though, he'll get DQed or something. Or maybe Cena gets DQed. I swear sometimes Raw just doesn't know when to give it up with a certain feud. Cade/Murdoch vs. the Hardys continues? Oh joy. Look, C & M jobbed at Backlash clean, they admitted they are jobbers tonight, so there is no issue. Just give Haas and Benjamin a shot now. That said, is it just me or is Shelton fucking something up every time he's on Raw of late? I was really enjoying this Raw tonight until the Umaga/RVD match. Once RVD jobbed out there with nary a Shane or Vince or ANYONE run in....this show went straight to hell. The finish there was at least a bit different, albeit illogical.

This can't lead to anything decent with RVD as things stand now. If he does sign a new deal, he'll beat Vince and win the ECW belt. If he doesn't sign, he'll be jobbed out to Umaga, Vince, and everyone else under the sun. Rob, time for the old knee injury to flare up.

Answer me this as well...if the Rockets were so awesome why were they only 47-35 in 1995? Let's face it, before the playoffs that year they didn't really seem like any sort of threat to repeat. It wasn't until the Suns blew a 3-1 series lead against them that people started giving any thought to "Oh shit, these guys might repeat." That's mostly what I give the Rockets shit for, the fact that they were a bleh team that actually repeated. The 1994 team was a pretty decent NBA champ that I believe had the top record in the league. It was comical that some writers at the time deemed them "the worst NBA champs ever" when they were a credible winner that year at 58-24 I believe. I mean it's hard to say they're the worst champs ever when there's teams like the 1978 Washington Bullets who were 44-38 and all that. I guess some of it is that the Finals vs. the Knicks was a horrendous eyesore of a series that went the full 7 games, and was interrupted by OJ Simpson's white bronco to boot. As far as 1995 goes, Jordan was back and did all he could but he really came back a bit late to truly make any sort of serious playoff run or gel with the team. Bulls were only like the #5 seed that year, so they won the 1 round they could win and then lost to the Magic.

The Rockets were blatant lame duck champions, only getting two titles because they happened to make the Finals when Jordan was retired in 1994, and not back in the groove in 1995. Hell, I'm not 100% sure that Houston was much better than Chicago in 1994 and 95 without Jordan, much less with him (Houston was 3 games better in 1994 and had the exact same record in 1995). You know, with Jordan retired, the baseball strike, and that crap Chargers team making the Super Bowl 1994 was a pretty awful year in sports. I guess NY Rangers fans were happy. Hell, if the Utah Jazz had made their two finals appearances in 1994 and 95 instead of 1997 and 98 they would have 2 rings. Taking a look at the 1994 playoffs I see that the Atlanta Hawks were the #1 seed in the East....WTF??? I honestly didn't even remember them making the playoffs that year. Certainly no one thought they were any sort of serious contender. I am hazy on this since I figured NY/Chicago was a 1/4 matchup in the 2nd round (since the Knicks were seemingly the top team in the East and the Bulls fell off a bit minus Jordan), and that the Pacers were either a 2 or 3 seed. But in reality the Pacers were 5 and took out the 1 seed Hawks, while NY and Chicago were the 2/3 series.

There's no way in hell the Houston Rockets could have ever beaten the Bulls with Jordan in either 1994 or 95 (as in the Bulls with Jordan for all of 1995). Jordan would score 60 a night if he had to, no way they are losing to the Rockets. I'm still bitter about that whole era, since I figured with Jordan "retired" Phoenix would have a clear path to the title (I was quite the Suns fan). Then the Suns just could not beat the Rockets, even after getting up 2-0 and then 3-1 in both of those series. It drove me nuts because I still think Phoenix was the better team, especially in 1995. After that season the Suns traded my favorite player, Dan Majerle, to the Cavs for John "Hot Rod" Williams in a move that looked completely idiotic even at the time. I think that move basically killed the Suns as any sort of contenders pretty much until Nash signed with Phoenix about a decade later. That Majerle for Williams trade has to be one of the worst trades in the history of the NBA. Phoenix went from a 59-23 win team in 1995 to 41-41 the next year, it pissed off all their fans, and it pissed off Barkley royally and Sir Charles demanded a trade to Houston soon after.

Well, Orton jobbing was the no brainer. I'm shocked he didn't take everyone's finisher before tapping out to the STF. Hawk let me address your points: 1. I actually have liked some of Cena's work, mostly his brawl matches like JBL "I QUIT" or maybe the Umaga match. In standard matches I just think most of his offense looks bad and he can't even execute either of his finishers (FU or STFU) with competence. Most of my criticism of Cena is valid. He'd be much better off jobbing the belt and taking a bit of time off and coming back fresh, since I think he works better as a challenger chasing the title than he does as this absurd Superman champion who lacks the credibility to pull off such a role. And yes, having your opponent knock you unconscious but right on top of another guy for a pin is like something straight out of a HTM IC title match from 20 years ago, if 4 way matches had been invented back then. 2. Yeah, we all know the ECW belt is by and large a joke in theory, but it hasn't been in practice until tonight. Van Dam held it in higher regard than the WWE title when he had both...Big Show defended it in all sorts of hardcore matches until it shortened his career. Lashley has been dominant and while he hasn't been jawdropping he's at least had a credible run. All of the solid work--regardless of the actual champ--that they did building the ECW belt up as something credible was washed away with Vince winning. It doesn't even really matter if Lashley simply crushes him to regain, since that subjects us to more Vince ad nauseum. It'd be best to have Vince relinquish the belt, move Lashley over to Raw full time, and then Lashley can crush him with no belt involved, and ECW can hold a tourney and start fresh.

Oh there were some things to enjoy here, make no mistake. I quite liked the women's match, but it's still time to bring up Beth Phoenix and/or Katie Lea from OVW to boost the women's division. I was glad to see Benoit retain, similar to the stuff that they've done recently on SD. Hardys match was also fairly good. I dunno, I guess there's some disconnect with me when it comes to Cena. I don't see the appeal, or the baffling reluctance to simply get the belt off him for a while to make things fresh if nothing else. He's just become groan inducing to the point where I neither cheer or boo him. Cena is the first guy since the advent of monthly PPVs to constantly retain to the point where they have jobbed everyone out to him on Raw to the extent that no one has any heat left.

The thing is however....we all just know that this is prolonging the inevitable tedium of Cena simply beating Michaels again and this time Michaels will have to acknowledge he's the better man or something inane. Michaels is just going to job in the end. I'm reading a few reviews of this PPV and am mystified that some people are calling this the best WWE PPV in a long time. A show where Vince wins any sort of world title, another title match has a screwy double countout finish (this I figured going in though, so it wouldn't have bothered me had it not come after the anal rape of the ECW match). And of course Cena pulling some weak shit out to get a fluke win. It's like the guy is the Honky Tonk Man if HTM were somehow a face.

You know, just when I think that a PPV might be a typical lame duck lesser show with some decent action they have to do something like this PPV tonight. I actually didn't mind most of the PPV, but that Vince crap is so sickening that I don't know if I want to bother with either Raw or ECW this week. I really hope that this ends up being Vince simply relinquishing the belt, but after the way he taunted the Originals I have my doubts. I actually thought Shane might win this match tonight, and there are a few things they could actually do with that. The cocky rich punk Shane thinking he's hardcore and then the actual ECW guys eventually kick his ass, that sort of thing. But Vince winning tonight...relatively clean mind you...is like watching a guy jerk off to a giant size poster of himself. What can they even do with the belt at this point? It's like they bent over backwards to try and make the ECW belt a credible title, with mixed results. And then they do this. Unreal.

I know the Heat getting swept today was humiliating, but I don't see how they are the worst champions ever. I'd say that is the 1995 Houston Rockets, who were just a 6 seed or so. Besides, even if you want to defend the Rockets there are plenty of teams from the 70s to choose from (1979 Sonics, 78 Bullets, 77 Blazers, 75 Warriors...the 70s was the decade of every jobber franchise getting that 1 title). I might go with that 1975 Warriors team being the lamest. Hell, they weren't even the best pro team in the USA. That would have been the ABA champion Kentucky Colonels. I'm just glad that Miami/Chicago series is over. Let's get all these tedious 1st round series over with and get to the good stuff.

Austin has to be freaked over this to some degree. Let's face it, Cena doesn't need a movie to make huge money since he's still currently a top wrestling star. I doubt Kane really figured on a serious movie career either, even though he's at the point of considering retirement. But Austin? His wrestling career is finished and he really needed this movie to make some amount of money. One aspect of this tanking that has gone unexplored is that Austin frankly hasn't even been worth a shit in WWE in 5 years. Hell, I can hardly stomach his TV appearances on Raw.

Okay, hang on. When did I say I didn't like Commando? I love Commando for what it is, namely a hilariously campy and violent Reagan Era action movie in the Rambo vein. That said, Commando isn't really something that could draw in the year 2007. Commando is wildly entertaining, but would anyone call it a great movie without a hint of irony? I used to have some toys of Commando. Gotta love the days when an R rated bloodbath action movie had action figures. I don't think The Condemned was as much trying to be Commando as it was trying to be The Running Man. The Marine? Now that was trying to be Commando, but the problem is that it was rated PG-13 and thus didn't have the kind of over the top violence, nudity, and profanity that is required of a brainless actioner. WWE Films almost have to do this sort of thing though, since they don't have enough of a budget to attempt stuff like T2.

Fight Clubs is the greatest movie ever, despite its completely idiotic last 20 minutes or so? I guess my point with WWE films is why not get someone to come up with a script that isn't a rehash of simplistic, silly genres that stopped drawing money once the year hit 1990? Guess what...Arnold didn't stay in these silly Commando and Raw Deal movies for all that long. He eventually moved on to Predator, Total Recall, T2, and True Lies. There's a vast difference in the sort of actioner that drew money in 1985 and one that drew in 1990. WWE seems oblivious to the fact that movies like Die Hard and Lethal Weapon were ever made. Why not do a buddy movie? Hell, let Edge and Orton do some silly cop movie with homoerotic overtones. If RVD signs a new deal give him and Sabu a stoner action comedy. They can be the action version of Jay and Silent Bob, with Van Dam doing stoned out rambling and Sabu never speaking except when something important happens.

Best match Brock vs. Cena? That match sucks ass from what I recall. It pretty much exposed both guys as not being ready for their pushes. But then I've made my feelings on Lesnar known quite well over the past 4-5 years. I did like the Guerreros vs. Team Angle match, but dare I say that stuff clicked more when Chavo got hurt and Tajiri stepped in? Personally I found 2003 to be the absolute dead zone for WWE, but I loved the hell out of Eddie's work that year. He was really the only reason to tune in.

I don't get why someone couldn't have waited until June to come out with their blockbuster. Spidey coming out next week is fine since right now there's a pretty bleh crop of movies out, so it won't be taking money from another movie. And I can see POTC coming out over Memorial Day since that's a massive time for movies. But why is Shrek 3 coming out in between? It's sandwiched between those two and while Spidey might tail off a bit to not hurt Shrek so much at the opening, the next week POTC is going to kill Shrek dead. Oh and as far as Transformers goes, it comes out a week before Harry Potter so it better make its money while it can.