Star Ocean 3

WCW Revenge.

Chuck's beard doubles as an invisibility cloak, which he uses to sneak in to "R" rated movies. Chuck Norris has no gag reflex. The original ending, as suggested by Chuck Norris to George Lucas, to Return of the Jedi consisted of the Rebel Alliance finding Chuck Norris on the moon of Endor. The Rebel Alliance realized the power they had in front of them, and begged Chuck to help them defeat the Empire's Death Star. Chuck then jumped into space and roundhouse kicked the Death Star, which exploded in a fiery bang. In the last scenes, Leia left Han for Chuck, Chewbacca became Chuck's life-debt servant, and Luke decided to drop Jedi training and study under Chuck. The ending was never made because it was too awesome for George Lucas to comprehend. The word quadrillion was first implemented in a Harvard study to express the size of Chuck Norris's genitalia. No one has ever seen Chuck Norris and Optimus Prime together at the same time. Coincidence? When someone says,"I traded blows with Chuck Norris," what that really means is Chuck gave them a mean roundhouse to the face before making them suck his dick. Chuck Norris gave birth to Tony Little rectally. Chuck Norris adopted twenty Ethiopian children. He fed them and clothed them until they looked healthy. He didn't do this for the good of the people... he was hungry. Chuck Norris once ripped a man apart for calling his penis enormous. Everybody knows Chuck Norris' penis is gargantuan beyond mortal comprehension. Kevin Sorbo once passed Chuck Norris in the park and said, "Hey, nice beard" sarcastically. Chuck Norris became angry, and roundhouse kicked Sorbo in the face. Astonishingly, Sorbo got back up after such a mighty blow. This further angered Chuck Norris to the point where he ripped out Sorbo's jaw, sodomized him with an ice cream cone, and ate his flesh in front of many children. This event has been commemorated with a limited-edition dinner plate and later became the basis for the television show "Grace Under Fire". In 1995, Chuck Norris secretly wed his Walker, Texas Ranger costar, Clarence Gilyard Jr. Sadly, they divorced only 4 months later, after Clarence found Chuck in bed with an obviously very stoned Don Knotts. While pregnant with his firstborn child, Chuck Norris was in labor for 18 hours. Even as a bard with -200 strength and a stave, Chuck Norris still beat DM. Chuck Norris along with Macho Man Randy Savage were once runway bra models for Fredrick's of Hollywood. It has been recently recorded that a peragrin falcon can dive at speeds up to 250 kilometers per hour. This feat was accomplished as Chuck Norris dove past them at 300 kilometers per hour. Not only did Chuck Norris stop the tyranny of Rwanda with a series of "foot sweeps" and "Lunge punches", he also managed to feed the whole country with his beard. Chuck Norris eats pieces of shit like you for breakfast. That's right, he eats pieces of shit for breakfast. Like the new Jeep Hurricane, Chuck Norris can accelerate from 0 to 60 mph in 4.9 seconds, and can also an navigate an 86.7 degree slope when moving downward. Jesus was sent to die for the sins of man when it became apparent that his older brother, Chuck Norris, was incapable of dying. Chuck Norris created the television series "Frasier" when he was re-enacting a scene from Back to the Future. Chuck Norris proposed to his wife by spelling out "Will you marry me?" in semen. Needless to say, she said yes. Chuck Norris once claimed that Clear Pepsi, "was for queers." The following day, Pepsi pulled the product from shelves. Chuck Norris once inhaled a seagull.

The ghost in the Tower of London is not really a ghost, but Chuck Norris and his pet sloth. Chuck Norris actually kidnapped Osama Bin Laden on 9/12/2001 and has kept him in his basement ever since, continually beating him into unconsciousness and then nursing him back to health. He ordered George Bush to send the military into Iraq so that the protesters would drown out Osama's screams- he times his roundhouse kicks to Osama's ribs with Cindy Sheehan's rants since the sound is roughly the same. Chuck Norris then sent word to Saddam Hussein that Osama was getting boring and he would be coming to Iraq to get himself another bitch- Saddam killed his sons to protect them from Chuck and crawled into a spider hole to shoot himself when the gun jammed and the US military overheard his crying and captured him. Chuck Norris's poop is considered currency in a remote corner of Mongolia. Chuck Norris got sick of hearing Michael Jackson's hit song Thriller, so he gave hime a roundhouse kick to the balls. Micheal Jackson's voice became permantely high pitched; he lost all color pigments in his skin; and his nose fell off. Once Satan tried to jumpstart the end of the world. Chuck Norris, being very sleepy from being awesome, was very irritable and simply told Satan to go fuck himself and then dropkicked him back into hell. This event is sometimes called, "The Dropkick Felt Around the World." Ever heard of the saying, "you can't squeeze blood from a stone?" Chuck Norris hasn't. There's a reason for that. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris is in no way responsible for the advent of the computer era. However, he did invent silicon after winning a bet with Thelonious Monk by eating nothing but sand for forty days. Chuck Norris' sperm cells are so big they can eat a small horse. Chuck Norris eats raw steaks and poops them out cooked well done. His urine makes for a flavorful steak sauce. Chuck Norris invented Jolt Cola after an extremely pleasuring experience with a one-eyed hooker with the same name in an attempt to recreate his orgasm in liquid form. Chuck Norris starts every morning by swallowing three Cambodian children whole, then drinking a barrel of lizard blood. He brushes his teeth with plasma and rinses with VX nerve agent. Chuck Norris does not bathe with soap or water. His body naturally sweats Mr. Clean.

He should've brought back the opera theme music.

Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong. Chuck Norris makes onions cry. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris once fingered four elephants... with his toes. Chuck Norris is the stork that delivers babies. Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts. If you knock three times on a wooden object and shout the name of Chuck Norris with a lisp on your voice, he will appear to you and personally kick your ass. And it will be better than any orgasm you will ever experience. At the end of each week, Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he isn't a racist. Every story from every film Chuck Norris has been in has actually happened to him at some point in his life. The people he kills on screen really die. Chuck Norris once did a movie with Clint Eastwood, and there came a disagreement between the 2 stars. Chuck Norris bent Eastwood over a chair and raped him. Chuck Norris calls this "tough love". Jonathan Brandiss did not kill himself, Chuch Norris round house kicked him to deat after seeing Seaquest.

why don't they have ducktales

I thought they deliberately pick groups of certain demographics to survey.

Super Mario All Stars

Rescuers actually saved the birds.

The Daily Show seems to be trying a lot of different correspondents. I use the word "different" loosely, because they can't seem to get someone who isn't a middle aged balding white guy or isn't Samantha Bee. But the only reason I watching The Daily Show this week is because it precedes the Colbert Reporrrr. There have been good moments to the show, but I don't see how he can do that four days a week. And he flubs his lines a lot. But The Word segment has been great every night so far. Carolla's show can be desolately bad. This last show with Dane Cook was good stuff, so the show is probably better with a guest throughtout the show. 1780's guy never gets old.

Decap Attack Dynamite Headdy Rocket Knight Adventures

Showbiz Show is probably the best of them, though it's only once a week to Colbert's four. The movie parodies are spot on.

Import Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! for DS if you like eccentric music games.