Headlines you would NEVER hear about the WWE!

[Guest RenegadeX28]

Well, this is a game. No one loses her. I have no clue if this has been done here.

 

 

Basically, post a headline, or statement about anything in the WWE, that YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR!

 

Ex: CREDIT 1wrestling.com

 

Buyrate for WWE Judgment Day skyrockets

[Guest NoSelfWorth]

Fans applaud Triple H and Kevin Nash for match of the year candidate.

 

Credit - PWTorch.com

[Guest Spaceman Spiff]

WWE sign Elix Skipper and Kaz Hayashi to bolster already-strong Cruiser Division. Expect both to get big pushes upon debut.

 

credit: Da MELTZ~!

[Guest My Eyebrow is on fire]

Intriguing directions, consistent storylines, fresh faces and a **** match to boot! Color me impressed as this is quite a turnaround RAW! HHH is once again god! Recommended show. BONZO GONZO!!!"

 

-Scott Keith 5/5 RAW Rant

 

EDIT: Added bonzo gonzo.

[Guest notJames]

Internet Fans Invited to Titan Towers for Input on Storylines, Overall Direction of Company

 

- WW_.com

[Maztinho 0]

Triple H fired for being... well Triple H.

 

wwe.com

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Stephanie McMahon not really Vince McMahon's daughter, actually Kamala/Mantaur hybrid....demoted to jungles of deepest darkest Africa as Frank Stallone takes over head writing duties...

 

Profits skyrocket and WWE buys ESPN

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

Booker T scheduled to go through a Kliq guantlet at Judgment Day in which he pins HBK, Nash and finally HHH cleanly to win the Raw title.

 

Credit: PWtorch

[Guest AndrewTS]

Credit: PWTorch

 

Stephanie steps down from Creative Department.

 

Vince decides his vision is not compatible with viewers', will not longer offer input in creative direction.

 

Big Show loses weight.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

Credit: PWTorch.com

 

Gail Kim to visit luckily viewer's house for all night orgy .... early sources indicate something about a "TS"

[Guest MaxPower27]

Credit PWTorch:

 

Kevin Nash executes a WRESTLING MOVE! More on this story as it develops.

 

Jamie Noble set to feud with Rey Mysterio for 5 months for the Cruiserweight title, the finale being a 25 minute ladder match.

 

Molly Holly set to pose for Playboy.

 

JR pushes Albert down a flight of stairs.

[Guest Zero_Cool]

Credit: WrestlingObserver

 

Vince McMahon to push wrestlers based on crowd reactions.

[Maztinho 0]

*JR pushes Albert down a flight of stairs*

 

Man, I see Albert laying at the bottom flailing his arms like some sort of turtle that was flipped over on his back. I don't know why, but I do.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Credit: PWTorch.com

 

Gail Kim to visit luckily viewer's house for all night orgy .... early sources indicate something about a "TS"

WHOOOOT!~

 

Credit WWE.com:

 

- WWE released Test, Torrie, 3 Minute Warning, and Sable today from their WWE contracts. We wish them the best of luck blah blah.

 

- WWE has officially decided to get rid of the "General Manager" on both shows. From this point on angles will all involve WWE wrestlers instead of 300 figureheads.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Credit: WrestlingObserver

 

Vince McMahon to push wrestlers based on crowd reactions.

He actually has done that.

 

WWE Undisputed Champion Hulk Hogan anyone? =/

[Guest Bricks]

- Vince McMahon has said that he wants to change the direction of WWE to focus on wrestling.

 

Credit - PWTorch

[Guest Vitamin X]

Credit: PWTorch.com

 

Gail Kim to visit luckily viewer's house for all night orgy ....  early sources indicate something about a "TS"

WHOOOOT!~

 

Credit WWE.com:

 

- WWE released Test, Torrie, 3 Minute Warning, and Sable today from their WWE contracts. We wish them the best of luck blah blah.

 

- WWE has officially decided to get rid of the "General Manager" on both shows. From this point on angles will all involve WWE wrestlers instead of 300 figureheads.

That first one doesn't seem all too farfetched now, does it?

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

New Cruiserwieght Champion, Mr America!

-WWE.com

 

World Wrestling Entertainment negotiating with The Smart Marks with regards of purchasing their forum

-PWTorch

 

Stephanie McMahon to appear at local Strip Club

-LATimes.com

[Guest Lightning Flik]

In an attempt to make sure that the seperate brands actually work; the WWE has announced that they have will actually make both the Raw and Smackdown brands into two totally seperate brands. Also each brand would be under a different name of course.

 

The first brand would be called WWE: Attitude. Which would have the Raw and Heat rosters appearing on those shows; which also include house shows. The other brand would WWE: Desire. Which would have the Smackdown and Velocity rosters appearing on those shows; which also include house shows. As of which Velocity and Heat will now be used to further the actual brands.

 

The new rosters for each brand:

 

Attitude

A-TRAIN

BATISTA

BIG SHOW

BILL DeMOTT

BILLY KIDMAN

BRADSHAW

BUBBA RAY DUDLEY (World Tag Team Champion)

CHUCK PALUMBO

DAWN MARIE

D-VON DUDLEY (World Tag Team Champion)

ERIC BISCHOFF (Co-GM)

GOLDBERG

HARDCORE HOLLY

HULK HOGAN

JACQUELINE

JAMAL

KANE

KEVIN NASH

LILIAN GARCIA

MAVEN

MARK HENRY

MR. AMERICA

NATHAN JONES (WWE Intercontinental Champion)

RANDY ORTON

RIC FLAIR

RIKISHI

RODDY PIPER

ROSEY

SABLE

SEAN MORLEY

SCOTT STEINER

SHAWN MICHAELS

STACY KEIBLER

STEPHANIE MCMAHON (Co-GM)

TAZZ (Replaces JR on commentary)

TERRI

TEST

TORRIE WILSON

TRIPLE H (World Heavyweight Champion)

UNDERTAKER

 

 

Desire

AL SNOW

BOOKER T

BRIAN KENDRICK

BROCK LESNAR (WWE Champion)

CHARLIE HAAS

CHAVO GUERRERO (WWE Tag Team Champion)

CHRIS BENOIT

CHRIS JERICHO

CHRIS NOWINSKI

CHRISTIAN

CRASH

EDDIE GUERRERO (WWE Tag Team Champion)

EDGE

FUNAKI

GAIL KIM

GOLDUST

IVORY

JAMIE NOBLE

JAZZ (WWE Women's Champion)

JOHN CENA

JOHNNY STAMBOLI

KURT ANGLE

LANCE STORM

MATT HARDY (WWE Xtreme Champion [Xtreme was formerly the Cruiserweight])

MOLLY HOLLY

NIDIA

NUNZIO

REY MYSTERIO

RICO

ROB VAN DAM

RHYNO

SEAN O'HAIRE

SHANNON MOORE

SHELTON BENJAMIN

SPIKE DUDLEY

STEVEN RICHARDS

STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (GM)

TAJIRI

THE HURRICANE

THE ROCK

TOMMY DREAMER

TRISH STRATUS

VICTORIA

WILLIAM REGAL (Replaces Tazz on commentary)

 

- 1wrestling.com

 

 

 

[/joke]

[The Dames 0]

World Wrestling Entertainment negotiating with The Smart Marks with regards of purchasing their forum

-PWTorch

Only if they paid me a shit load of money AND let us book Raw and Smackdown.

 

Dames

[Guest Lightning Flik]

World Wrestling Entertainment negotiating with The Smart Marks with regards of purchasing their forum

-PWTorch

Only if they paid me a shit load of money AND let us book Raw and Smackdown.

 

Dames

That's what "negocitating" means Dames. You're holding out on them.

[Guest Bricks]

Vince McMahon Interview

 

"I admit I screwed up the Invasion. I'm sorry and will try to learn from my mistakes."

 

- WWE.com

[Guest AndrewTS]

Credit PWTorch:

 

- Vince McMahon offered to join MENSA.

 

- Bill Demott getting very over with live crowds.

 

- WWE opts to enact mandatory steroid testing; also to push smaller wrestlers.

[The Dames 0]

That's what "negocitating" means Dames. You're holding out on them.

Really? I thought it was "negotiating".

 

Dames

[Guest Your Olympic Hero]

WWE Champion Chris Benoit feels he is above taking challenges from Undertaker or Triple-H.

[Guest AndrewTS]

Vince McMahon Interview

 

"I admit I screwed up the Invasion. I'm sorry and will try to learn from my mistakes."

 

- WWE.com

I'd definitely nail Gail before Vince admitted to making a mistake. (At least in those words)

 

WWE to release Jonathan Coachman, Jim Ross, and Jerry Lawler. Plan to hire more knowledgable commentators to commentate on matches instead of shill other angles.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Undertaker to job to Nunzio cleanly.

 

Test fired for just plain sucking.

 

La Parka announced as new CEO of WWE!

 

Joey Styles signs with WWE, going to be brought in as "Good Ol' JS".

[LooseCannon25 0]

WWE and NWA:TNA complete first wrestling trade in modern day as Triple H, Undertaker, Steve Austin, A-Train, and Big Show were sent to TNA in exchange for AJ STyles, Jerry Lynn, Jeff Jarrett, Raven, and Ron Killings

[Guest Austin3164life]

NWA-TNA Purchases World Wrestling Entertainment inc. from Vincent K. McMahon and family. More on this within the hour

 

-Credit: NBC News

 

According to inside sources, Triple H is expected to elevate someone

 

-Credit: WWEStephanieMcMahon.com

[Paul Stanley 0]

WWE Champion Albert expected to defend title against RAW brand Champion Triple H

 

- 1wrestling.com

 

 

(err..better edit this, or Vince will actually use this idea)