The Dames 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 If I were Austin...and Kane was THAT mad at me, I wouldn't want to look him in the face either...especially if he didnt want me to. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Austin has already faced - and beaten - Kane. No real reason to be scared there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Steviekick Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Dames gets **** for figuring a plausible story for Kane. I like it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Austin has already faced - and beaten - Kane. No real reason to be scared there. Austin has a bad neck though...he wouldn't want to mess it up more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Are we talking about Steve "CHOKESLAM ME DAMMIT!" Austin? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Askewniverse Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Maybe he was using reverse psychology. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Oh he is a wascally waddlesnake! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rendclaw 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 That explanation kicked major ass, Dames. With a minor tweak here and there it could be plugged into Raw as early as next week. I am seriously impressed. I vote that "Dames Explains It All" stays as a monthly article, if not weekly or bi-weekly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest §uperÛnknown Report post Posted July 16, 2003 An angle with someone using Kane for his own uses by fucking with his head would probably work right around now. Prey on his insecurities and go from there. Ala how Raven was rumored to do a while back, if I remember correctly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lemon Drop Kid Report post Posted July 16, 2003 That was really pretty excellent as I can't think of any glaring loopholes (I started to think of the fact that x-pac claimed that Kane had a burnt up dick, but that's just X-pac) and not being able to find loopholes in the Kane/Taker story is amazing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deviant Report post Posted July 16, 2003 In WWE's mind, the storyline of psychological damage is just so Kane doesn't have to wear crappy make-up every week. However, Dames has taken the most disjointed character in all of wrestling history and made it contain actual sense and continuity. WWE need to hire a senior vice president in the field of bullshitting and explaining, and you damn well better believe that it should be Dames. Dames was most worried about his soap opera ending to SummerSlam, I think it works. Lets face it, Kane's character is as far beyond the realm of realism as it is, saying that he's never looked in a mirror isn't stretching it at all. Does Kane wear the contact in his eye anymore? The hair is the only exception. I guess you could push the defacing himself to create the image he had of himself line a bit further and say he cut it off prior to Raw in case he had to unmask. If the world was to see his face, they would see a monster, as they expected... Kane has always been stupid, so it's not as if Kane is going to think about all the past instances of being unmasked and figure out that we'll know it wasn't a wig. It's Kane, the guy that has fallen for absolutely every line fed to him by someone that was kind to him once. Hell, he thought DX would make him a member at one point. However, how do you present all this sensible back story to the people? Through Bearer? My only complaint is that everything is resolved much too quickly. Yes, you would think that Taker would already be on Raw, but that would mean a less than two month run as a monster for Kane. I guess that is all that works... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest RavishingRickRudo Report post Posted July 16, 2003 WWE need to hire a senior vice president in the field of bullshitting and explaining, and you damn well better believe that it should be Dames. I agree, Linda just isn't cutting it anymore... It seems as if her heart really isn't into all the bullshitting like it once was. Though reading WWE.com lately, Dames is up against stiff competition in Dr. Tom Pritchard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fook_Hing_Ho Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Good column Dames. Can't think of any glaring holes in the logic. How bout for the next one you explain how Taker went from undead zombie to satanist to biker? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Thank you Dames. I've always been a huge Kane mark, and now finally someone has come out and explained why this storyline is OK, and how it could be bettered. You have given me hope for Kanes future. But this is WWE we are talking about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom Viscount 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 That's all well and good Dames, but I like this Kane now. He looks like a taller, balder Lesnar. He needs to go back to wearing the towel because it gives off a heelish vibe and the cameras can go back to distorting his face in replays. He should set a woman on fire now such as Gail Kim (that'll giver her some....heat heh heh) and then beat her face in with a chair. They might as well give Kane Nathan Jone's original gimmick of psychotic heel. He should begin to manipulate and intimidate the weaker RAW roster and he can carry the gas can around like HHH carries his sledgehammer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JaKyL25 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 I've said this before about the hair situation. If they REALLY wanted to avoid plotholes, it could very easily be explained as having been held on with glue or tape in the past. When Taker/Batista/DX unmasked him, they never would have even thought to try to pull the hair off. Who would have guessed to even make the attempt? Of course, when Kane unmasked himself, he went the Full Monty and showed the world everything. As far as the "Austin can't look Kane in the eye" thing, I think he went a little overboard if it's just gonna be said that there's no real scarring, but I think a case could be made that Austin had it in his mind that Kane was hideous, and Kane was probably making those "ugly" facial contortions at the time. Plus, as was mentioned earlier, Glenn Jacobs just ain't a good lookin' fella to begin with. I suppose the supernatural powers Kane had in the past can be explained with well-paid production crew members. LOGIC GAP IN DAMES'S ARTICLE--After the fire, Kane was presumed dead by the authorities, correct? When the accident with Katie Vick happened, there was obviously a police record that HHH dug up to find dirt on Kane with. Wouldn't you think the police would be a bit suspicious to find someone who supposedly died 15 years or so prior involved in a car crash/rape? Did Paul Bearer pay them off or something? I forget--was Kane arrested at the time, or did they just find his fingerprints/semen at the scene of the crime? I doubt they'd be able to match up his prints if the latter is the case. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Korgath Report post Posted July 16, 2003 I loved the psychology part about the whole article, Dames. It made a lot of sense especially considering the big jump between "scarred man" at MSG and "pretty clean face" soon after. I think the biggest error in the whole article, however, is not acknowledging that the Undertaker has ALREADY moved on from the gimmick, having been given a "Unique" persona (in EWR terms) by the fans. The whole point is that The Undertaker is NO LONGER the Dead Man, he doesn't "draw power" from an Urn, and he sure as hell doesn't crucify people. Because of that, bringing in the Undertaker is a bad idea (especially since the guy's on Smackdown!) and Dames' booking should NOT have re-united the two. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 I like the reuniting idea, it brings another element into the story. Undertaker doesnt have to be the dead man anymore, just Kanes brother. like he was last year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Flying Dutchman Report post Posted July 16, 2003 I approve wholeheartedly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Fuck You Dames. How dare you come up with an logical and smart thing like that. Damn you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 To everyone who liked the article, thank you very much. I honestly didn't think it would be well received at all. As for making something like that a weekly article, I don't know. This Kane scenario only took me about 20 minutes to think up (take THAT WWE Creative Team), but I don't know how long it would take for me to think up storylines for other logic gaps. If I ever do come up with anything else, I'll definitely post it. There are still logic gaps in it, such as how Kane was able to shoot fire before, but come on...you're asking TOO MUCH! Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Retro Rob Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Next week Dames should explain how my mind works! Ratings...er, HITS, BABY~! Even Dames can't exaplin that one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest mach7 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Half way through, but one note: Taker INTENTIONALLY torched the place. He admitted it in 1998, after about 30000000000 twists and turns in the "who burned the place down" storyline. Not only that, but WWF/WWE has already gone out of their way about a million times to break kayfabe with the Undertaker and Paul Bearer, like they have with a lot of characters. So, even if the storyline works in make believe world, it still doesn't in WWE world, since everybody already knows that Kane is not related to the Undertaker or Percy Pringle III. I seriously wonder why they bother with bullshit like this. No, wait. I don't wonder. I just point and laugh. ;p Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted July 16, 2003 It works for me Dames. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Trivia247 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Great Idea Dames... pretty much went along lines of what I was thinking but more indepth.. and I Bet people WOULD care about it... maybe not most here of course, but im sure someone somewhere outthere would... very well done storyline. now cut n paste it to the WWE.com feedback page so they can read it and ignore it so they can Make Kane get hit by a Car driven by a Necrophiliac who got the dead body of Torrie Wilson's Dad Captured with Plans on a Public Wedding on smackdown...in the middle of the Kennel from Hell! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JBotter Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Dames -- good stuff all around. I've only watched a little wrestling as of late (since I've been in basic training and AIT since, oh, JANUARY), but the Kane storyline is one of the few things I've seen that's interested me as of late. Well, that and the whole Zach Gowen thing. :-) Strangely enough, those are two of the storylines that the whole net crowd (at least from what I've seen) has been hating on the most. I guess I'm doing the right thing by sticking to 411, CRZ's board, and The Smart Marks. By the way -- GREAT job on the site. You guys have come a long way since the Smarks days. My bad for any disrespect you might have gotten from my end back then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Retro Rob Report post Posted July 16, 2003 ^ Hey, long time no see. How's it hanging? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Dames 0 Report post Posted July 16, 2003 Jeremy, thanks for the kind words. I take it as a high compliment from you. Good luck at basic training. Dames Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted July 16, 2003 There are still logic gaps in it, such as how Kane was able to shoot fire before, but come on...you're asking TOO MUCH! He could toss fire because he carried things that ... you know... shot fire. I mean, its not like Jerry Lawler had to use some sort of mystical power to do it for years. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted July 16, 2003 The Austin problem hasn't been explained to my satisfaction. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
