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Guest y2jailbait

The One and Only Underappreciated Posters Thread

By Guest y2jailbait, in No Holds Barred

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Guest Choken One   

Guest Choken One
Posted

eh...not really...kinda...it's an long and convulted thing that started WAYYYY back on page 3.

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Guest ILiveUnderABridge   

Guest ILiveUnderABridge
Posted
do it...it's a GREAT read

alright, i just got through a little, and that shit is Mad tight yo!

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Guest Plushy Al Logan   

Guest Plushy Al Logan
Posted

::Mario shows up and ruins the whole saga with one of his toys left over from the OAOAST::

 

fb745013.jpg

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Ripper    0

Ripper
Posted
Chave...

 

Ripper...

 

Any Juices flowing?

I kinda wrote myself into a wall with that last one. And since no one is really on the move that much I can't be one step behind fucking up yet.

I'll have something in a bit.

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Guest Choken One   

Guest Choken One
Posted

Actually...I have every single up-date saved.

 

Including yours and Rippers and the rest...I was putting them all to gether and hoping Dames would make a Special Archived Folder for it.

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Guest Choken One   

Guest Choken One
Posted

SHUT UP!

 

*Covers Ears*

 

LALALALALA DOO DOO DA DA DA DEH I WANT MY POST COUNT BACK! WAHHHHHHHHH!

 

*CRIES*

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DerangedHermit    0

DerangedHermit
Posted (edited)

Can I be a part of this seeing that Choken was demoted about 5,199 posts?

 

EDIT: Fixed it.

Edited by DerangedHermit

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Ripper    0

Ripper
Posted (edited)

:::Ripper has landed the Cessna on the outskirts of DC since he ran out of gas...of course, why he was flying over DC when he was trying to get to New York from Canada is beyond me, but hey, it goes with the story:::

 

Ripper: God damn Tom and his crappy ass Cessna. I don't know anything about DC. Where they hell should I go.

 

Tour Guide: Free TOURS OF DC!!! GET YOUR FREE TOUR OF DC RIGHT HERE!!!

 

Ripper: Wow...how incredibly convienent. Hey buddy!! I'll take a free tour!!!

 

Tour Guide: Well come along then.

 

:::Ripper jumps into the back of a lush sports car. This automatically starts to raise a few questions in that mind of his.:::

 

Ripper: Hey...this is a pretty nice car to be doing tours in.

 

Tour Guide: Well...only the best for you tourist to DC. So what you in town for.

 

Ripper: Actually I was trying to get to New York. I have to meet with this guy named the Dames...he is the owner of TSM.

 

Tour Guide: FUCK THE OWNER!! I SAVED TSM!!!...ahem...I mean...TSM...whats that.

 

Ripper: What did you just say?

 

Tour Guide: About what..when...relax buddy, take a load off. Hey look, that foxy young lady looks like she wants a tour also.

 

Ripper: No, what did you just say about...hey...she does have a cute ass.

 

:::The car stops to pick up a young lady with a cute ass...well I guess you could've figured that from the dialouge but I haven't had a chanve to type ":::" in a while and was getting antsy...:::

 

Ripper: Well HELL-O Miss lady ma'am. How you do-in?

 

Lady: Fine...and my name isn't Miss Lady Ma'am...its Marn...um...Marnishia.

 

Ripper: Marnishia. Thats a...um intresting name.

 

Marnishia: Yeah...its Dutch. So are you in town alone. I surmised that you would be accompanied by someone. Or was I wrong to conjecture such a doltish hypothesis?

 

Ripper: ....What?...

 

Marnisha: Oh, I my appolgies. It was my erratum not to compensate for your lack of erudition.

 

Ripper:...What?...

 

Marnishia: I would think that someone as...sexy...as you would have been in town with someone...seeing that you are...sexy...

 

:::Marnisha tries to control her laughter everytime she calls Ripper sexy. Once again, something all to familier about this woman and the driver who is continuously repeating that he saved the board:::

 

Ripper: Well, I was. I was with this guy, Dr. Tom. But he had a accident so I went on with out him.

 

:::Anger starts to fill Marnisha's eyes:::

 

Marnisha: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ACCIDENT!!!

 

Tour Guide: I mean Dames gets all the damn props but I'm the one that saved the fucking board....

 

:::Suddenly it clicks in Rippers head. He remembers seeing the Tour Guide from a Girls Gone Wild tape...and the woman not only used big words for no reason, but also nearly laughed when calling him sexy...either she was blind or gay. And he only knew one verbose lesbian..MARNEY. And the Tour Guide was non other than Big Poppa Popick.:::

 

:::RIpper is nervous, but can't let on that he knows. He must come up with a escape:::

 

Ripper: Hey tour guide...pull over. I gotta drain the liz-ard...Take a leak...drain the main vein...take a pizzle on the....

 

Tour Guide: OKAY!! I get it...geez.

 

:::As Tour Guide...or BPP stops the car, Ripper checks BIG ASS MAGNUM™ to make sure that it still has enough ammo.:::

 

:::He goes to the back of the car to take a leak...he really had to go! Out of nowhere IDRM grabs him from behind, turning him around as New Me snaps a picture of his exposed dangler:::

 

New Me: You're going to take part in the thread one way or another...YOU ALL WILL!!!

 

:::New Me and IDRM run off into the night...or day...or what ever time this is happening...I'm confused:::

 

:::Marney and BPP get out of the car:::

 

Marney: What the hell was that.

 

BPP: Yeah...hey, I ever tell you guys about that time I saved the board. It was the SHIZOT.

 

Marney: Will you shut...Um...Ripper...will you put THAT away.

 

Ripper: AH HA. No straight woman could resist the call of my penis...you are MARNEY aren't you!!?!?!

 

:::Ripper puts his penis away, back into its bullet proof jock, knowing that a gun fight in coming and he doesn't want lil' Ripper being in harms way.:::

 

Marney: Yes, I am. What did you do with Tom.

 

Ripper: Toms dead lady...and you two are next.

 

:::Slo-mo as guns get whipped out in the most pointlessly dramatic way possible. The Firefight is ON~!:::

 

To be continued:

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

Or WILL IT?

 

 

 

....

 

 

 

 

Yes...It will.

Edited by Ripper

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Ripper    0

Ripper
Posted

Yeah. I was trying to wait on everyone else first but you guys and your slowness.

 

 

Back in my day when we wrote incoherent Sagas using various people from a internet message board, we got the updates up on time...LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS! Now you younguns take all week to update.

 

Damn kids and your Michael Jackson.

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Guest Choken One   

Guest Choken One
Posted

Damn It Chave! I told you...

 

I though I did...

 

Ah Boo on that anyways...

 

I'm juicing (creatively right now) so expect an Up-date or three by early morning...

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rising up out of the back seat-nuh    0

rising up out of the back seat-nuh
Posted

::We return to Canadian Chicks basement the morning after the night before. Anglesault awakes from his unconscious slumber. He sits up, rubs his head, and looks across to see Canadian Chick doing the same::

 

AS: Ow. What the hell happened last night?

 

CC: I dunno. The last thing I remember was struggling with Zack and Kotz a few seconds after you got knocked out.

 

AS: Wow. I wonder where they went?

 

CC: God knows. I'm going upstairs to get some water.

 

AS: Good call.

 

::The two of them go up the stairs and into Canadian Chick's kitchen::

 

AS: Zack! Kotz! Where'd you guys go to?

 

::Suddenly Canadian Chick spies a puddle of blood on the floor::

 

CC: *GASP* Oh. My. God.

 

AS: Hey. That blood?

 

CC: Yep. And there's a trail of it leading to my walk in meat freezer.

 

::They walk over to Canadian Chick's massive meat freezer::

 

AS: Hey, CC. Sorry to ruin the suspense, and all, but why the hell do you have an industrial sized meat freezer?

 

CC: Meh. It came with the place. Besides, you never know when you're gonna need a place to store hundreds of tonnes of fresh meat.

 

AS: Oh yeah. That happened to me once. The saddest day of my life. So, you gonna open the door?

 

CC: Me?

 

AS: Yeah. I figure, seing as it's your freezer and all.

 

CC: But I'm a girl. And besides, that freezer probably contains the bodies of two of my lovers.

 

AS: So. You want me to do it, then.

 

CC: Yes please.

 

AS: It's just I hurt my arm a few months back, and my doctor says I...

 

CC: JUST DO IT BITCH!

 

AS: Okay then. Here I go.

 

::Anglesault opens the freezer door and looks inside while Canadian Chick looks away::

 

AS: Wow, this is a big freezer. Hey, if I ever need somewhere to store my meat, can I come round here?

 

CC: *sigh* Just tell me what's in the freezer AS.

 

AS: Right. A pack of Fish Fingers. An open pack of potato wedges.

Um, some chocolate ice cream. Kotz and Zack. Some, hey! Are those frozen peas? I love frozen peas!

 

CC: Kotz and Zack?

 

AS: Oh yeah, I said that without thinking about it. Hey, they look kinda dead. You wanna have a look?

 

CC: Nooooo!

 

::Canadian Chick runs to the sink and starts crying uncontrollably. Anglesault approaches her nervously from behind::

 

AS: Hey. You okay?

 

CC: *mumbles something*

 

AS: I didn't quite catch that. Was it a yes?

 

CC: No, you dumb gimp!

 

AS: Oh. Because if it was a yes, I was gonna cook those frozen peas.

 

CC: *sobs*

 

AS: So, um. What you upset about?

 

CC: Zack and Kotz, the two men I loved more than any other in this thread, got killed mysteriously last night. How's that for starters.

 

AS: Oh, so you're really upset bout that, huh? Hey, you know what'd cheer you up? Frozen peas!

 

CC: Oh, fuck off Anglesault.

 

::Anglesault wonders intothe freezer to get the frozen peas. He comes back out holding the bag a few seconds later::

 

AS: Hey. This isn't abag of frozen peas. It's a bag of mixed veg. Argh! That is easily the most shocking and annoying thing that could happen to me today.

 

CC: WAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

AS: Yea, I know. Mixed veg sucks!

 

::The phone rings in the living room::

 

AS: So, you gonna get that?

 

CC: Anything to get away from you.

 

::Canadian Chick leaves the room::

 

AS: Hey, what's eating that guy?

 

::Canadian Chick enters the living room and picks up the phone::

 

CC: Aloha!

 

Muffled Voice: Canadian Chick. You and Anglesault must come to the airport. Private jet DG26Y is waiting for you.

 

CC: What? Who is this? What's going on?

 

Muffled Voice: If you want to know what happened to Zack and Kotz, be at the airport in an hours time::

 

::The phone goes dead. Canadian Chick puts it down and returns to the kitchen::

 

AS: Hey, CC. Do you like carrots and broccoli? Because, I figured we could share the mixed veg. I'd get all the peas though..

 

CC: There's no time AS. We've gotta go to the airport!

 

AS: Okay, but only if I can get peas there.

 

*TO BE CONTINUED*

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