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Guest Aecas

FBF - Highway To Hell

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Guest Aecas

:cheers: The Fantasy Booking Federation proudly presents… :cheers:

 

HIGHWAY TO HELL

 

 

Your commentators for this Pay Per View will be none other than the Legendary Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and the one and only Gorilla Monsoon! Mark for them for they are greater than thou! Joining this classic team tonight is the hulking Leatherface, whose grunts and stoic silence should add that extra edge to the action.

 

 

Stakes At Dawn Match

 

The Vampire Lestat

 

Vs.

 

Angel

 

Aging Vampire Lestat has taken a rather dim view on upstart newcomer Angel, particularly after the pointy-toothed git usurped him in the King of the Vampires ratings wars. However Lestat is not one to take this lying down, and has called out that goody two shoes prick for one last and VERY final showdown.

 

 

Psycho Match

 

Michael Myers

 

Vs.

 

Norman Bates

 

Two greats of the psycho scene clash in this match, and to think this whole thing started because Norman’s mother made a snide comment about Michael’s mask being so 1970’s. Unsurprisingly Myers took offence to this comment and retorted by calling Bates a cross dressing motherfucker. Needless to say the situation went downhill from there and now these former friends face off against one another tonight, and Steak Knives are Mandatory!

 

 

10 Person Tag Match

 

The Adams Family

 

Vs.

 

The Munsters

 

Well folks its all about ratings, these two families have been battling for years in one mother of a ratings war, both in TV shows and films. But finally its time for the war you’ve all wanted to see, without the presence of lawyers and TV executives keeping the two families apart. Things came to a head at the weigh in when Gomez was overheard commenting about Herman Munsters neck bolts making up for some other part of his anatomy. Sadly Herman Munster has sharp ears and the weigh in devolved into a punch up of biblical proportions. But tonight there will be No Holds Barred and only one family will emerge victorious!

 

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

 

Vs.

 

Buffalo Bill

 

 

Well what can we say? The greatest and most charismatic cannibal of all time against the cross dressing loony from Silence of The Lambs. This one is a no brainer folks, the winner gets to eat the loser, raw, cooked, or fricasseed. We in the FBF would like to point out that this match was booked under the duress of Dr. Lecter, and since we value our livers we obliged….

 

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

 

Ash

 

Vs.

 

The Evil Dead

 

Those pesky undead are at it again, and after 3 weeks of our offices being overrun by the malcontenant bastards we decided to take action, and of course there is only one man for the job. Ash a.k.a Bruce Campbell (Or is it the other way around?) was at first leery at battling the forces of evil once more, this however was swiftly changed when we helpfully pointed out that they’d stolen our lovely secretary Alice. We promised Mr Ash he could have all the sugar he wanted if he would once again return our office to some semblance of normality.

 

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

 

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein

 

Vs.

 

Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

 

Somebody has been playing away, and when four of our greatest Superstars come to us with a problem of this magnitude we of the FBF thought there was only one way of sorting it out. Lock all four of them in a 15 ft steel cell give them Garlic, Stakes, Car Batteries and Jump Leads and watch the sparks fly!

 

MAIN EVENT #1

 

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

 

Peter Cushing

 

Vs.

 

Christopher Lee

 

And the first of our 2 Main Event’s tonight pits two of the greatest English Horror actors of all time against one another, these two horror movie icons after years of competing head to head on the silver screen will finally prove who is the better man. THE OLD FASHIONED WAY! The first fall of the match will be pinfalls only straight wrestling. The second match will be a Street Fight, and the third fall if necessary will be a Last Man Standing match. The winner of this match will have truly deserved the title of King of Hammer Horror.

 

 

MAIN EVENT #2

 

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

 

Freddy Kruger

 

Vs.

 

Jason Voorhees

 

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

 

And here is the big one ladies and gentlemen the second of our 2 main events promises to be a war, as The Dream Master and the Unstoppable Force clash once again for your viewing pleasure! And this time YOU! Yes YOU! Can contribute to the carnage in this match, if you’ve got a weapon for these two to use then bring it along and throw it in! With Hellraiser’s Pinhead as the Special Guest Referee this promises to be a classic for the ages. Please note that the FBF takes no responsibility for loss of blood, limbs, life, or bowels due to the actions occurring in this match.

 

 

Booked for your viewing pleasure by Aecas and The Extreme Solution, we hope you enjoyed reading the PPV Card, please feel free to post match predictions and the results will be posted at a later date.

 

Thanks for reading!

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Lestat vs. Angel

-I like Lestat here. He's more expeirenced and more devious. I say he ropes Angel in by playing opossum and then sucker sucks him!

 

Myers vs. Bates

-Myers has the size and strength. Also he's pretty much an unkillable zombie thing, while Bates is fairly human and mellowed out in later years. I say Bates attacks head on and gets gutted like a fish.

 

Addams Family vs. Munsters

-Marilyn is too much of a liability. Wednesday is much smarter and more devious than Eddie. Lurch vs. Herman would be interesting. I think Grandpa can hold his own for awhile, but then he'll try a stupid potion and mess stuff up. I say the Addams family in a cake walk after Gomez pulls out the epee.

 

Lecter vs. Bill

-I'm not too versed on Buffalo Bill, but Lecter is smart and evil. I could see him doing the old attack before the bell bit and stuff. Lecter would wrestle like Flair and cheat his balls off.

 

Ash vs. the Evil Dead

-It's like Hogan vs. Savage. The Evil Dead are never picking up a win in thid feud. Ever! Although I say the secretary is a member of the evil dead by the time he finds her.

 

marital strife match

-I mentioned to Aecas that Dracula had three brides, but it doesn't really matter. Dracula could probalby win a handicap match by himself against these two. You've got to think Dracula has a backup plan to neutralize his wife and Frankie is a pretty calm and stupid guy most of the time.

 

Cushing vs. Lee

-I think this would be better as a chess match. Lee was always the more athletic of the two and I always thought Cushing got lucky more than anything. I say Lee in two straight falls.

 

Vorhees vs. Freddy

-Pinhead interferes for Jason and sets up a match with Freddy for the next ppv.

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Lestat vs. Angel

--Angel's hair stands straight up and he's bloody stupid. Lestat'll take this one, possibly after a Spike run-in. That's the feud everyone wants to see anyway. Coming to the WB, this fall, Wednesdays at 9.

 

 

Myers vs. Bates

--Frost was right on here. Bates is gonna get owned, and it ain't gonna be pretty.

 

 

Addams Family vs. Munsters

--Don't fuck with Fred Gwynne. Munsters in an upset after the Addamses turn on each other. Should be great to see MC Hammer play the Addams Family to the ring, though--it's been too long since I've heard "Addams Groove."

 

 

Lecter vs. Bill

--Lecter is just too savvy. Bill's gonna get preoccupied trying to skin the ring girls, and Lecter's gonna bite his face off and hit his trademark moonsault for a win that should really push him up the card come next mont.

 

 

Ash vs. the Evil Dead

-Agree with Frost here as well. They'll tease a Dead win a lot, and some cowboys from old Brisco County Jr. reruns might do a run-in, but ain't no one kickin' out of the big boot/boomstick combo.

 

 

Marital Strife Match

--Dracula is a better team anchor, but Frank is gonna be tough to stop. It's a classic match of speed vs. power. I just hope the wives spend most of the time on the apron, because that hair-pulling catfight shit's gonna get old fast. Frank goes over here to set up a bigger blow-off in the future. Drac's gonna have to train a little harder to get past the beast.

 

 

Cushing vs. Lee

--Lee still has a career. Cushing got blown up in the Death Star. Drac turns the tide on Van Helsing.

 

 

Vorhees vs. Freddy

--Jason's propensity for restholds puts everyone to sleep, including himself. From there on out, Freddy gets a la majistral in the dream world, and Pinhead counts the 3. A real-world ref comes out, resets everything, but the dreamworld ref turns into a snake and eats him, and we've got a Dusty Finish and a DQ to end it and keep heat on everybody. Disappointing end to a largely impressive show, and a bit of a waste of Pinhead. He should be doing more than wearing the pinstripes. Get it? PIN-stripes? Oh man, I'm good.

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Stakes At Dawn Match

The Vampire Lestat

Vs.

Angel

 

Lestat take that poof Angel out of the game complete. I see a Lestat Driver onto a Bed of Stakes coming up.

 

Psycho Match

Michael Myers

Vs.

Norman Bates

 

Norm is dead. Very dead.

 

10 Person Tag Match

The Adams Family

Vs.

The Munsters

 

I gotta back the Adams' as I remember them more. But it'll be a Dusty finish.

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Vs.

Buffalo Bill

 

Lecter with a nice sick win, proving himself to be the better cannibal.

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

Ash

Vs.

The Evil Dead

 

They're gonna job to a fist full of boomstick. The last one in there is gonna be completely murdered to keep Ash looking strong for Evil Dead 4.

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein

Vs.

Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

 

Dracula's gonna come out tops and get his misses back after elctrocuting Frankie. Watch out for that Doubel Blood Dive off the Top.

 

MAIN EVENT #1

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

Peter Cushing

Vs.

Christopher Lee

 

2-2 Draw in a very English way. Then Freddy and Jason come out and send them straight to hell.

 

MAIN EVENT #2

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

Freddy Kruger

Vs.

Jason Voorhees

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

 

The fans die!

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Stakes At Dawn Match

The Vampire Lestat

Vs.

Angel

- Angel destroys him on his way to becoming the next main event force. No, really, Angel wins in 5 seconds.

 

Psycho Match

Michael Myers

Vs.

Norman Bates

- Myers. Easy.

 

10 Person Tag Match

The Adams Family

Vs.

The Munsters

- The Adams. The Munsters were just poor.

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Vs.

Buffalo Bill

- Billy boy cannot hope to win.

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

Ash

Vs.

The Evil Dead

- Ash.

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein

Vs.

Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

- Frankenstein can no sell all he wants, but Dracula will win.

 

MAIN EVENT #1

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

Peter Cushing

Vs.

Christopher Lee

- Yeahum.

 

MAIN EVENT #2

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

Freddy Kruger

Vs.

Jason Voorhees

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

- Jason no sold air strikes, so I'm guessing he can take Kruger.

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Stakes At Dawn Match

The Vampire Lestat

Vs.

Angel

 

Lestat to prove that he's still top dog after all these years. OOOOOOOHHHHH still top dog after all these years. *bows* thank you.

 

Psycho Match

Michael Myers

Vs.

Norman Bates

 

Myers via DQ due to Bates' mother getting involved...

 

10 Person Tag Match

The Adams Family

Vs.

The Munsters

 

Morticia is fucking sexy. Addams with the win.

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

Vs.

Buffalo Bill

 

I predict this will turn into the most gruesome lumberjack match ever when the Donner Party circles ringside.

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

Ash

Vs.

The Evil Dead

 

Ash is gonna eat them alive. You know... if they were alive.

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein

Vs.

Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

 

Franky has HOSS power and the Bride of Dracula has the same description as Moriticia. F-BoD with the win.

 

MAIN EVENT #1

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

Peter Cushing

Vs.

Christopher Lee

 

Hmm, which one of these two played Dr. Who in their career? Cushing? Tardis from nowhere to crush Lee for the win.

 

MAIN EVENT #2

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

Freddy Kruger

Vs.

Jason Voorhees

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

 

This becomes a dud as instead of fighting each other, they read poetry and comment as to the beauty of nature's most delicate flower: the Daffodil.

 

 

-Annie

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Guest SupaTaft

Most importantly is Leatherface on commentary. The best horror character ever should provide in depth annalysis on the fights, having had dinner with several of the fighters before. BTW Leatherface can do more than grunt. He can also squeal like a pig, roar, and talk in his own special little high pitched language. It's really cute!

 

 

Stakes At Dawn Match

The Vampire Lestat Vs. Angel

 

I don't know who either of these cats are. But it says that one of them is a vampire.

-LESTAT

 

 

Psycho Match

Michael Myers Vs. Norman Bates

 

Myers. He's a hoss. Bates is just a whiner.

-MYERS

 

 

10 Person Tag Match

The Adams Family Vs. The Munsters

 

Gotta go Adams here. They've got a more creative side to the punishment they'll dish out. Though The Munsters have Spot...

-ADAMS

 

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

Dr. Hannibal Lecter Vs. Buffalo Bill

 

Lecter. He could outsmart Bill with a nudie mag and a pair of scissors. Cannabalism rules.

-LECTER

 

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

Ash Vs. The Evil Dead

 

Ash cant lose... ever. Not possible. I would like to see a run in from the Mummy from Bubba-Ho-Tep, though.

-ASH

 

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein Vs. Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

 

This is gonna be MOTN, guaranteed. Hell of a brawl, but in the end, it'll be a draw when the couples reunite and raise hell.

-DRAW

 

 

MAIN EVENT #1

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

Peter Cushing Vs. Christopher Lee

First off, this shouldn't be a double main event, this should just be a highly anticipated match-up. Gotta go with Lee here. Think about it? Was Cushing in three of the highest grossing Sci-Fi/Fantasy films of the past couple years?

-LEE

 

 

MAIN EVENT #2

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

Freddy Kruger Vs. Jason Voorhees

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

 

Too much hype. Ends with the fingerpoke of doom... except that Jason actually kills Freddy with his finger. YOUR WISECRACKS CANT SAVE YOU NOW, BOY!!

-JASON

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Stakes At Dawn Match

 

The Vampire Lestat Vs. Angel

~ Angel motherfuckin' ownz all. Lestat is an overrated hack.

 

 

Psycho Match

Michael Myers Vs. Norman Bates

~ Michael Myers could own everyone except Angel.

 

 

10 Person Tag Match

The Adams Family Vs. The Munsters

~ Ghey.

 

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

Dr. Hannibal Lecter Vs. Buffalo Bill

~ Eh. Either or. Angel with the run in and double beat down.

 

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

Ash Vs. The Evil Dead

~ Ash.

 

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein Vs. Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

~ Ghey. * stars.

 

 

MAIN EVENT #1

 

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

Peter Cushing Vs. Christopher Lee

~ IT'S SSSAAARRRRRUUUUUUMMMMAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!

 

 

MAIN EVENT #2

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

Freddy Kruger Vs. Jason Voorhees

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

~ Freddy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Jason

 

And here is the big one ladies and gentlemen the second of our 2 main events promises to be a war, as The Dream Master and the Unstoppable Force clash once again for your viewing pleasure! And this time YOU! Yes YOU! Can contribute to the carnage in this match, if you’ve got a weapon for these two to use then bring it along and throw it in! With Hellraiser’s Pinhead as the Special Guest Referee this promises to be a classic for the ages. Please note that the FBF takes no responsibility for loss of blood, limbs, life, or bowels due to the actions occurring in this match.

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Stakes At Dawn Match

 

The Vampire Lestat

 

Vs.

 

Angel

 

-Immortality vs Immortality...Mmmmm...gotta love the taste of blood. Lestat will pick up the win pretty easily unless Angel turns all Angelus and calls upon Spike and Drusilla to do his bidding...

 

 

Psycho Match

 

Michael Myers

 

Vs.

 

Norman Bates

 

-Steak Knives Mandatory.....Michael Myers in an easy cakewalk. Norman'll turn into ol' Mother Bates and get sliced n' diced.

 

 

10 Person Tag Match

 

The Adams Family

 

Vs.

 

The Munsters

 

-Addams Family if only for Christina Ricci playing Wednesday...but either way they just seemed to take more pleasure in evil and destruction.

 

 

Loser gets Eaten Match

 

Dr. Hannibal Lecter

 

Vs.

 

Buffalo Bill

 

 

-Don't know much about Buffalo Bill but Lecter's a creepy mofo. He'll take this in a give and take match when Clarise Sterling attacks Bill.

 

 

Evil Dead Gauntlet Match

 

Ash

 

Vs.

 

The Evil Dead

 

-Ash...This is the type of feud where one guy squashes the other(s) for all eternity.

 

 

Marital Strife Hell In A Cell Tornado Tag Match

 

Dracula and the Bride of Frankenstein

 

Vs.

 

Frankenstein and the Bride of Dracula

 

-It's fucking Dracula...he'll hypnotize his Bride and manage to subdue the slow and lumbering Frankenstein somehow. Probably use a shovel handed in by the Werewolf.

 

 

MAIN EVENT #1

 

2 Out of Three Falls Hammer Horror Deathmatch

 

Peter Cushing

 

Vs.

 

Christopher Lee

 

-Christopher Lee...nuff said.

 

 

MAIN EVENT #2

 

Fans Bring The Weapons Match

 

Freddy Kruger

 

Vs.

 

Jason Voorhees

 

Special Guest Referee - Pinhead

 

-Leatherface'll be Special Commentator for this match and interfere taking out Voorhees. Pinhead will take offense to Krueger's treatment of Jason for whatever fucked up reason and attack him. Thus Pinhead gets to take on Krueger and Voorhees takes on Leatherface at the next PPV.

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