Weirdest things you've heard at a game

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Here's my big candidate

 

There's this weird frosty malt vendor at Kauffman Stadium, and it seems that he has his own way of selling his product. Here is his slogan.

 

"If you don't give your kids ice cream, it's child abuse"

 

It's just so fucking bizarre that it's funny.

 

Sure, his first line of "I believe.. in frosty malts" was odd, but this is the second time I've heard him equate lack of frosty malts with abuse. (First time was a week ago)

 

To outsiders, the KC chant of "We want donuts" while stuck on 11 hits is odd. But, we're used to it. Sure, Kansas City is one of the most obese towns in the USA, but we're going to get a dozen free donuts from Krispy Kreme.

 

Remember that guys.. it's child abuse to not get a frosty malt!

[Vern Gagne 0]

This was back in the 70's. The Twins PA guy Bob Casey told the crowd. "Ladies and Gentleman in 15 minutes a bomb will go off in Met Stadium.

[Guest BobbyWhioux]

I didn't hear this AT a game per se, but during a broadcast of a Giants vs Phillies game a few years back, at the Vet, with a sparse crowd, I heard one drunken-sounding fan heckle most of the action for a while, however, when Charlie Hayes came to bat for the Giants, the fan bellowed something to the affect of:

 

"Hey Hayes, you're only batting .138!"

 

This happening just after a graphic on the TV screen for the Giants broadcast revealed that Hayes' batting average with runners in scoring position that year was, to date, .138 -- no more, no less.

 

I think the fan alluded to that being a scoring position average, and not a general one, as well. I'm glad the Vet was empty and quiet that day, so that one single obnoxiously loud fan (who must've been right under the press box) could be heard so well.

 

Either this graphic was shown on The Vet's scoreboard/jumbotron, or the fan knew this stat going into the game from some source. I prefer to think the latter, but it doesn't matter too much. Either way, this guy was the most informed (and hence impressive) heckler I've ever heard. And bonus points for being drunk yet still recalling this stat, and working it into the usual "you suck" abuse hurled at visiting team players.

 

Other than that, there's the "It takes more than 9 yanks to beat a Johnson" sign from the 2001 world series...small surprise the FOX broadcast focused on that sign for a significant length of time.

 

And last year, under the shadow of the lockout, a fan sign pleading "Don't Stop Baseball! Where Else Can I get 5 beers for $35?"

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

This was back in the 70's. The Twins PA guy Bob Casey told the crowd. "Ladies and Gentleman in 15 minutes a bomb will go off in Met Stadium.

Woah, so that's what Pennsylvania's former governor did before entering public life...

[JHawk 0]

The funniest thing I ever heard at a game was about 10 years ago at a Mariners-Indians game. Jay Buhner's backing up to catch a fly ball, and my dad yells "I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT". Sure enough, Buhner looks over to see who's calling him off and the ball lands two feet in front of him.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

"You stink Strawberry!"

[nl5xsk1 0]

Iwent to a Sox-Marlins interleague game a few years ago, and every time Gary Sheffield was jogging back to the dugout the guy a few rows behind me would yell to him "Hey, Gary, it's me ... remember me?" and "Come on, Sheffield, you know me". Did it EVERY inning, to the point that Sheffield started looking at him all confused, wondering how he knew this guy.

Finally, towards the end of the game, the guy delivered the punch line ... "Gary, you must remember me ... I knew you when you were good!". Sheffield storms into the dugout all angry, everyone in my section laughs at him, it was a good time.

 

And at every hockey game we go to, PJ Axelson (a Swede) tries to do too many moves, and ends up faking himself out of a play. My friend yells the same thing, every time : "Too much Swedish, not enough Finnish"

[the max 0]

I overheard this on TV, when the Red Sox were playing the Devil Rays.

 

Greg Vaughn was up to bat, and was down 1-2. Even through the TV, you can hear a guy in the first row, as Vaughn steps out of the batter's box.

 

"Hey Greg Vaughn! Where's your brother (I'm assuming Mo Vaughn is what the guy was referring to)? Hey Vaughn!"

 

Then at the top of his lungs, the guy just screams "YOU SUCK!" right as the pitch is nearing home plate.

 

Vaughn struck out.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Me & a bunch of guys went to a Reading Phillies game (I think they were playing Altoona), and we were out in the right field area, so we decide we're going to heckle the Altoona LF all game when he's in the field. We're yelling all kinds of stuff at him (a couple of things got a smile out of him). He flew out to LF at one at-bat, and when he came out, 1 of us yelled out "Better hit the weight room!", which got a little chuckle out of him. Finally, late in the game, he hits a HR, and when he comes jogging out to LF, we give him a standing ovation, at which he broke out in this huge-ass smile. When the game was over, he turned around & gave us applause & a little wave "good-bye" as he left the field. You could tell he was having a great time w/ it.

[sfaJack 0]

One of my roommates from college and I sat in center field at the Astrodome once and heckeled J.D. Drew relentlessly throughout the game (nothing against Drew, really, he just happened to be the guy near us). We kept yelling "Your shoes are untied! You're gonna trip and fall!" until, finally, in the sixth inning, we saw him look down and his feet and then turn his head around slightly towards us.

 

It was hilarious. We mostly left him alone after that.

[lomasmoney 0]

One of the weirdest things I have ever heard was in 1994, I was at a Tigers game when they were playing the White Sox. We had seats in the tigers den right behind homeplate Well Robin Ventura is getting ready to go up to bad and my little brother who was maybe five at the time yells out "Robin Ventura you suck " and Ventura turns around and has one of those "What the fuck" looks on his face. It was pure gold

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

At the Vet, one fan has turned "everybody hits....woohoo!" into a catchphrase and a few appearances on Comcast.

[the pinjockey 0]

I fucking hate that everybody hits guy. Not because of him personally, but because of all the morons that do it now. I remember a game I went to earlier this year, a guy sitting next to me started doing it. Then he talked about "Yeah, I...uh...used to sit next to that guy and....um...helped make the chant. Yeah."

 

There is one vendor at the Vet I enjoy. He sells programs and his pitch is along the lines of "The Phillies program, the finest piece of literature you will ever read. Shakespeare himself never wrote anything like the Phillies magazine."

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

I remember a vendor at a Red Barons game in April. A chilly night, and he got sick of trying to shill cold beverages, so he resorted to "piping hot Coca-Cola here!"

[the pinjockey 0]

Desperate vendors are always great. At one game, the guy who sells the Minute Maid frozen lemonade, was bragging about how hot it was and how he wasn't going to have to say anything. About five minutes later, clouds came in, wind picked up, temperature took a nose dive and he started to beg people to buy his stuff.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I fucking hate that everybody hits guy.  Not because of him personally, but because of all the morons that do it now.  I remember a game I went to earlier this year, a guy sitting next to me started doing it.  Then he talked about "Yeah, I...uh...used to sit next to that guy and....um...helped make the chant. Yeah."

 

There is one vendor at the Vet I enjoy.  He sells programs and his pitch is along the lines of "The Phillies program, the finest piece of literature you will ever read.  Shakespeare himself never wrote anything like the Phillies magazine."

He didn't "invent" that chant. I've heard that in Phillies games in the 1980's and early 1990's. It had been gone for a while until this guy started doing it.

 

And when the original guy was doing it, it was "huh-hoo", as opposed to this guy's "wah-hoo".

[Red Baron 0]

At a Buffalo Bisons Game, while talking to some chick there a few years back.

 

"I'm from Canada" I say

 

"Is it true that everyone lives in Igloo's?" she says.

 

"Yes, and we finally got electricity as well." I remark.

 

"Really?!"

 

I grabbed my pop, and foot long, and left shakin my head in disbelief.

 

At a Buffalo Sabres Game, a vendor says this.

 

"Canadians...Dont buy our beer, it sucks."

[Guest Redhawk]

There was a vendor at a Mariners game back in the Kingdome years ago. He had an extremely high-pitched voice, and on top of that he looked like a total dork. Imagine a frumpy, skinnier Drew Carey with a mullett. Anyway, when he sold beer, his voice would hit it's highest point on the word "beer" and every other word was almost muffled.

 

He was like, "heytherehowaboutanicecold BEER!! righthere BEER!! getyour BEER here!!"

 

That, plus the sound of his voice was just funny as hell.

[the pinjockey 0]

There was an ice cream vendor I remember who would hit peaks like that. But what he would do is go "I got ICE cream, get you ICE cream." It just sounded like he was giving out bags of ice, because he would whisper the word cream.

[Guest meanmaisch]

I can't stand the everybody hits guy either. I didn't mind him the first thousand times, but now its the second most annoying feature of a Phillies game or broadcast (the first being Chris Wheeler).