Kaneel Shatters Masturbation World Record!

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

http://kaneel.swellserver.com/news/top_sto...worldrecord.php

 

September 30, 2003   

 

It's official, Kaneel is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Kaneel achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

 

Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Kaneel remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

 

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Kaneel is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Kaneel was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

 

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

 

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Kaneel said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning".

 

I really have nothing else to add to this.

[Guest Choken One]

And JUST how exactly do you go about calling Guinness about this

 

"Hi, Um I want break the Masturbation Record...Can we book a appointment or something? I can provide my own materials"

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

Not to sound crude, but I must have belted out a good 15-17 the first day I had DSL.

[Ravenbomb 0]

man, I could so break that record. What exactly are the qualifications? What counts as an orgasm? Do you have to cum a certain amount?

[Guest Fook]

It's not real.

 

The page is scripted.

 

Just put your name in place of kaneel's in the address and you'll hold the record.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Man I bet he's rubbed himself raw.

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

http://frozenblockofpissreborn.swellserver...worldrecord.php

 

Yep he is right.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Damn, that's like one ever 30-45 minutes. I guess if you rub one out quick enough and then spend the rest of the time resting it could be done.

 

But there's no way I want someone from Guinness sitting nearby keeping track -- unless she was hot...

[Youth N Asia 0]

*Standing ovation*

[Guest hhheld_down]

damn man.. thats a lot of semen..

[Youth N Asia 0]

damn man.. thats a lot of semen..

probably not after the 2nd or 3rd time

[Sandman9000 0]

October 1, 2003   

 

It's official, Sandman9000 is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Kaneel achieved 1,592,859,672,384 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

 

Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Sandman9000 remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

 

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Sandman9000 is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Kaneel was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 3 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

 

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

 

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Sandman9000 said "I got three hookers in the next room who need some attention."

 

Much better.

[Nighthawk 0]

I wonder what the real record is. If that's comparable, I know I could beat it, I've done 27 in less than an hour.

[Spicy McHaggis 0]

But there's no way I want someone from Guinness sitting nearby keeping track -- unless she was hot...

Guinness does have a "most cavernous vagina" record. Some chick inserted a football with no prep. That would be a site.

[Nighthawk 0]

I've got a video of a guy sticking his whole head in a vagina.

[Slickster 0]

I've got a video of a guy sticking his whole head in a vagina.

Where'd you find that?

[Nighthawk 0]

Kazaa. I'd tell you what it was called, but I've renamed the file since then. You can probably find it searching for some combination of "head in pussy"

[Guest evenflowDDT]

I've got a video of a guy sticking his whole head in a vagina.

I've seen that. I thought it was fake...it looks like prosthetics to me, unless we're talking about different videos of guys sticking their heads in vaginas.

[Nighthawk 0]

The guy in this one is older, bald (I guess you'd pretty much have to be to do that) and has a goatee. I've seen him fucking midgets before and in a couple regular porns, but don't know his name. Upon another viewing, I guess it could be fake, yeah. I've seen objects of comparable size in there, so I didn't give it much though.