What do you say to the girl whose handbag

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I usually go through the painstaking process of explaining to people who I assume like and respect me that I met you guys on a wrestling message board, where I was actually something of a major player at one point.  It's best to phrase it just like that.

Maybe I should just fess up for my fondness for adolescent black boys.

 

And I'd like to point out that Banky and Rant still don't get it, but I shan't bother explaining, as the truth is just as stupid as the shit they're saying.

I understand it is for amusement, and it not an actual courting method.

 

I may join up sometime....when I am bored...and have been dumped.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I would say "Hi Sable"

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I may join up sometime....when I am bored...and have been dumped on.

Whoa, I think that's why that girl joined.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I would say "Hi Sable"

No wrestling in my threads.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I may join up sometime....when I am bored...and have been dumped on.

Whoa, I think that's why that girl joined.

What was dumped on her?

 

Did you actually met this broad through friendster? And wasn't it ackward for her going straight from the keyboard to your cock?

[MrRant 0]

Well his hand makes the trip with no problem so I don't see how she could mess it up.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I may join up sometime....when I am bored...and have been dumped on.

Whoa, I think that's why that girl joined.

What was dumped on her?

 

Did you actually met this broad through friendster? And wasn't it ackward for her going straight from the keyboard to your cock?

Fans of mine with a long memory may recall Kinetic's "How big of an asshole are you?" thread in General Chat. I shared my story of when I was 18, and, fresh off of being dumped by a girl--the very one to whom I gave up my virginity, for those who find such things interesting--I went to a party. Much liquor was consumed, and, soon, I stumbled across the girl who broke my heart, making out with some dude. Fueled by vodka and jealous rage, I, at the prodding of some friends, found her purse and shat in it.

 

Six years later, I'm using the Friendster service to see if I could find any of my high school classmates, when I remembered her and looked her up. Turns out she's there. That was a couple of days ago, and now, this evening, I ran into her a hookah bar.

 

So yeah.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Hmmm, I'm sure she may have had an idea you shat in her bag considering your recent break up? Regardless, I must applaud your friends who must've enocuraged you to be so bold as to take a bowel movement in her purse. I will attempt that feat sometime soon.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Hmmm, I'm sure she may have had an idea you shat in her bag considering your recent break up? Regardless, I must applaud your friends who must've enocuraged you to be so bold as to take a bowel movement in her purse. I will attempt that feat sometime soon.

I don't know that she made the correlation. As far as I know, she wasn't aware I was at that party.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Hmmm, I'm sure she may have had an idea you shat in her bag considering your recent break up? Regardless, I must applaud your friends who must've enocuraged you to be so bold as to take a bowel movement in her purse.  I will attempt that feat sometime soon.

I don't know that she made the correlation. As far as I know, she wasn't aware I was at that party.

gnarly.

 

I'm sure it made you feel better before the depressants of the alcohol set in.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

gnarly.

 

I'm sure it made you feel better before the depressants of the alcohol set in.

I felt quite bad about it shortly afterwards, and, to an extent, still do. The girl in question was quite pleasant this evening, but I couldn't get what I did out of my mind.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

gnarly.

 

I'm sure it made you feel better before the depressants of the alcohol set in.

I felt quite bad about it shortly afterwards, and, to an extent, still do. The girl in question was quite pleasant this evening, but I couldn't get what I did out of my mind.

Maybe shes looking for a little panty tickle down the line....keep your options open.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Tell her during the physical act of love.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I have no desire to meet this girl again. The guilt is too much.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

This thread can't die.

 

Ummm, when this goth girl I knew told me that she was thinking of slitting her wrists and ending her life I sent her this: http://maddox.xmission.com/suicide.html

 

Only three weeks later, her name on MSN Messenger is "I'm going to paint a picture, a picture with a twist, I'm going to use a razor and paint it on my wrists" (Something she's attempted twice she *says*), and than she asks me to hook up with her next Thursday and that I can do whatever I want with her.

 

What would Kinetic/Inc do?

[BX 0]

Hmmm, I'm sure she may have had an idea you shat in her bag considering your recent break up? Regardless, I must applaud your friends who must've enocuraged you to be so bold as to take a bowel movement in her purse. I will attempt that feat sometime soon.

I dunno Banky, I doubt you'll be able to find her, and even if you do, odds are she won't have that handbag anymore.

 

BTW, didn't you say that you wanted to "tag up" with me "anytime", in a completely heterosexual manner? This was when you were not banned at WDI.

 

Completely heterosexual.

[Dr. Tom 0]

This thread can't die.

 

Ummm, when this goth girl I knew told me that she was thinking of slitting her wrists and ending her life I sent her this: http://maddox.xmission.com/suicide.html

 

Only three weeks later, her name on MSN Messenger is "I'm going to paint a picture, a picture with a twist, I'm going to use a razor and paint it on my wrists" (Something she's attempted twice she *says*), and than she asks me to hook up with her next Thursday and that I can do whatever I want with her.

 

What would Kinetic/Inc do?

I don't know what they'd do, but I'd hit it. Might as well before she cuts her wrists (doubt she would, but hey, one never knows) and you miss the opportunity.

[Nighthawk 0]

Instead of slit wrists, you should bite the bitch's wrists open and then drink her blood. She'll become your slave.

[BX 0]

Hit it.

 

Afterwards, ask her "So, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

 

If she doesnt have any, tell her "Well, let's make a plan for you. " That shit works on suicidal people.

 

Then rob her.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I'd suggest not hitting it. What if she doesn't actually kill herself? What then? You'd still have to deal with her.

[Dr. Tom 0]

I'd suggest not hitting it. What if she doesn't actually kill herself? What then? You'd still have to deal with her.

Then, if the poon was good, you'll still be able to hit it. That's a win. If the poon was bad, you could turn the tables and threaten to slit your wrists, and even blame her for being a bad lay. She'll probably want to try and redeem herself, so you get more free sex out of the deal. I don't see a downside to hitting it, really.

[Kinetic 0]

There's a potential major downside if her suicidal urges are based on mental illness of some sort. One possible scenario has him engaging in sex with her with the understanding that it's only because she gave him permission to enter her duty-free, only to have her flip out when he makes it clear after the fact that her services are no longer needed. There's the possibility of angry letters written in the blood of stray cats, stray cat corpses left on his doorstep, some sort of elaborate gnome-related revenge tactic, and so on. It's highly advisable not to fuck the legitimately mentally ill. But if this suicide business is a just a ploy to get attention, you should definitely go for it. You might get some Bauhaus records out of the deal, too.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Thank you all for the profound advice that you have given me. When I asked for specific posters I forgot to mention DrTom and IDRM, who are both a genius and a sex offender, respectively.

 

Just to point out, she's a "reformed" whore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So she's basically a whore. Should that matter? If I did anything would my self-respect just drop? I'll just add a few things in response to everyone else:

 

I'm pretty sure she's just a pity whore, which is why she told me she cut her wrists twice. Either that or she's a dumbass. Who fails at killing themselves? Unless you're trying to something spectacular, but slitting the wrist is simple and very UNspectacular. She tried cutting her wrists twice and failed. She FAILED. She could NOT put a BLADE INTO HER WRIST and SKIM IT DOWN. Either that or she chickened out. I don't mind if she's mind-numbingly stupid, because let's face it, that has some positives. But at least have some balls to fin....on second hand, don't.

 

If I drank her blood, I'd have to start wearing white make-up and start listening to Rammstein while I shoved flaming spiked dildos up my ass. So no.

 

Well, she wouldn't actually kill herself. She said that she's manic depressive though, but doesn't want to see a psychiatrist because she's afraid that people might think she's crazy. Right. When I told her about free drugs, she said that she had a problem with them before and REALLY doesn't want to get into it again.

 

 

 

 

 

So I said what about the free drugs? Either she's full of shit, or I'm cynical. I'm betting on the former.

 

DrTom is a smart man, but I'm beginning to think his plans are more sarcastic than he's letting me in on. I mean, the guy seems to have too many morals to actually suggest that stuff.

 

Kinetic, like I said, it probably is a ploy for attention. But as she is a *reformed* whore, and although she is clean, would it be smart for me to hit it? It's not abused but it's been used. Of course, that could just be sexism on my part since it would be perfectly okay for me to have sex with countless women.

 

Bauhaus? Try Gob, Good Charlotte and all that other crap. To BX, I wouldn't want to rob that shit. Fuck, the main reason I might not go through with this is because through whatever it is that we do she wants to play Mudvayne and Slipknot. Forget losing self-respect over the way I treat my body, I stopped listening to that sort of shitty music like six years ago. I'd feel degraded to have said that I once did it with some chick while listening to "People=Shit". Ugh.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

She's a headache, dude. Don't bother with her.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

My brain and heart says no, but my penis says YES!

 

STD's are not cool though, so my penis may say NOOO after all...

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Oh, and when Incandenza tells you that a girl is too much of a headache to bother, than you KNOW you don't fuckin' bother.

 

I'm just waiting for IDRM to say no.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I was your age, once. But then, just recently, I went on a date and had relations with a girl with a drug problem, so I don't know. My disdain for humanity somehow justified going out with a cokehead.

 

Don't listen to me, is what I'm saying.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

I was your age, once. But then, just recently, I went on a date and had relations with a girl with a drug problem, so I don't know. My disdain for humanity somehow justified going out with a cokehead.

 

Don't listen to me, is what I'm saying.

Since you're confusing the hell outta me, I'm just gonna pass GO and get a free blowjob.

 

A general question for all; I'm in University next year, how's the social life there, particularly with women?

[Nighthawk 0]

I'm just waiting for IDRM to say no.

no

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

I'm just waiting for IDRM to say no.

no

You've got to be genuine. No half assed "no" where you didn't even bother to capitalize the N or leave a period after o.

 

Fo' shame.