TSA09 0 Report post Posted January 20, 2004 Nobody give him an option. That way it can be like a "choose your own adventure" novel. It's like those books in the 80s where you picked what you wanted to do: If you wanna see rawmvp get his ass whipped, go to page 83. If you wanna see him defeat the Russian mob, go to page 114. If you wanna see rawmvp pop the cherry, go to page 69. I still say go with her and get your ass kicked it makes for a much better novel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bottled Black Report post Posted January 20, 2004 My eyeballs hurt after reading all this drivel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest reshad974 Report post Posted January 20, 2004 You want us to help you write a good-ending to this story, don't you? Why do you make it sound as if I'm making this up? That hurts. Everyone posting in this tread and their relatives think you're making this up but don't care about it since you entertain us on a constant basis. You made my day with your last BIG announcement ! Anyway, keeps on pretending this story is true, it makes it even funnier! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted January 20, 2004 This thread....this thread is genius. I dig the promos that he cuts all the time, and the fact that this girl cuts promos back to him...just makes it so much better that way. "I'm not ready to feel vulnerable for him!" And no one arranges marriages anymore... Best thread in a long time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 You want us to help you write a good-ending to this story, don't you? Why do you make it sound as if I'm making this up? That hurts. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No need to cry dude....we like your romance novel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Nobody give him an option. That way it can be like a "choose your own adventure" novel. It's like those books in the 80s where you picked what you wanted to do: If you wanna see rawmvp get his ass whipped, go to page 83. If you wanna see him defeat the Russian mob, go to page 114. If you wanna see rawmvp pop the cherry, go to page 69. I still say go with her and get your ass kicked it makes for a much better novel. That reminds me of when I wrote Choose Your Own Adventure posts during the Prince Paul stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Okay, I'm going to take a shot at this... (goes off to write for a while) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Okay, I'm going to take a shot at this... (goes off to write for a while) Don't bother. Your tale of love from a previous thread was MUCH better than this. Fact > Fiction... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spicy McHaggis 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 I was wondering when it'd turn out that she was a ballerina. By the way, for your next draft, you might want to make a note of the fact that the KGB officially doesn't exist anymore - it hasn't for almost 13 years. If you're trying to be ominous here to foreshadow the hired assassins that you'll have to defeat in hand-to-hand combat to save Natalie's life and win her love, you might want to use the Federalnaya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti instead. Y'know, in order to add credibility* to the story. *hmmmffbwahahaHAHAHAHAHA I'm wondering when Sydney Bristow's cameo will occur. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom Viscount 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 His dad has KGB connections." ........................., I don't know where to begin with that. But if you're really worried about defunct and ficticious organizations of danger, I suggest finding out if he has connections with the Foot Clan and the Putty Patrol as well. Can never be too safe, you know. *Passes Away in Laughter* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Obviously arranged marriages don't exist anymore; however, the families of both Natalie and Jacob would like to see these two hook up. The families have always been close and Natalie and Jacob have known each other since they were twelve years old and, of course, got really close in the last three years before breaking up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brush with Greatness 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Okay, hold on a second here. I skipped a few pages. What the fuck happened to Jakob's nose? I am assuming you broke it, or it had something to do with you or Natalie. Now, you say you fear Jakob's father finding out. Did Jakob's father not ask any questions after the broken nose or what? You really need to have one of those previously on recaps at the start of your threads for all your "From Russia with Love" posts. Just out of curiousity, when you write this, who do you cast in your head as Natalie? Also, you really need to start having Jakob play the suicide card if you haven't already, that's always in those types of shows. But eventually you and Jakob have to develop some sort of mutual respect for each other. Maybe he hooks up with Yelena or something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted January 21, 2004 (edited) Okay, hold on a second here. I skipped a few pages. What the fuck happened to Jakob's nose? I broke it and/or caused it to become rather swollen. He detests me because I "stole" his girlfiend, but as far as I'm concerned he's SOL. I am assuming you broke it, or it had something to do with you or Natalie. Natalie helped me (slightly) in our little scuffle. She gouged his eyes just before I kneed him in the nose. You know, just your everyday normal, domestic conflict. Now, you say you fear Jakob's father finding out. Did Jakob's father not ask any questions after the broken nose or what? Jacob's father is in international business. He is often sent to other countries and doesn't show -- according to Natalie -- for weeks at a time. To make matters worse, Jacob's parents have separated but not divorced -- due to the ignominious implications it may bring after 25 yrs. of marriage. And if you were Jacob, would you tell your mother that you got your ass handed to you by Natalie's NEW boyfriend? I think not; even THAT boy has too much pride for that. You really need to have one of those previously on recaps at the start of your threads for all your "From Russia with Love" posts. It's your responsibility to read the preceding posts before each update. Just out of curiousity, when you write this, who do you cast in your head as Natalie? Natalie *********** (sorry, the last name cannot be divulged for obvious reasons) Also, you really need to start having Jakob play the suicide card if you haven't already, that's always in those types of shows. But eventually you and Jakob have to develop some sort of mutual respect for each other. Maybe he hooks up with Yelena or something. Yelena already dumped him because I exposed him for the pussy he really is. Have a nice day. Edited January 21, 2004 by rawmvp Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
treble 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 She looked luminous, resplendent and incredibly radiant. Stupendous. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest reshad974 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Jacob's dad...if Jacob's dad finds about his -- and believe me Jacob will tell him -- he'll hurt you really bad...I don't wanna see that (she was really emotional, here). His dad has KGB connections." maybe you should consider that it was a cowardly way do dump you.....KGB for God's sake! that's original at least.... I think you should apply for a position in WWE creative team, your portrayal of russian is very stereotyped. and would you explain what is so great about natalie being a virgin ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Murmuring Beast 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Ok, I've got this sussed. This is all based on the Great Gatsby isn't it? Rival boyfriend: Tom You: Gatsby Russian chick: Daisy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Oh god......this is to good! Your attempts to defend it are even better! Don't end the comedy! I love how he plays it off as totally true and acts like he has no idea what we're talking about whenever we come up with criticism. Oh and I also like that "Have a Nice Day" at the end there. I always pictured you as Mick Foley when you're cutting your promos.....but this just made it better! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest rawmvp Report post Posted January 21, 2004 (edited) I don't think it was a veiled attempt to dump me. There was just too much smoldering, fiery passion in our eyes on that fateful day in the bathroom, as evidenced by the foggy mirrors. In all seriousness, I know from past history that Russian mafia members consisted of mainly Russian Jews, so there's really no surprise here. I'm not xenophobic or prejudiced in any way; just pointing out past precedents. So its not a stretch -- according to the grapevine -- that Jacob's father was at one time involved in illicit, nondescript affairs, though whether or not he's still "active" in these affairs remains to be seen... And, btw, the KGB does exist, but in a different name. It's now called the FSB; however, Natalie used the acronym KGB because its more universally known. Here's an article about the FSB aka KGB: They may call it the FSB (Federal Security Service) but it’s the same old KGB (Komitet Godarstevenoy Besnoplasti), still striking terror in the minds and hearts of Russians. That’s what student Dmitri Barkovsky found out when he was hauled to FSB headquarters and told to spy on a dissident political party – or else. Last spring Barkovski, a 20-year old student at St. Petersburg’s Baltic State University, worked as a volunteer for Yabloko, a small political party that opposed the election of now Russian President Vladimir Putin. Not long after, on May 24, Barkovski was told to report to the university’s head to discuss his studies. When he arrived he was confronted by two FSB agents, who began interrogating him about his activities. He was informed that he had been under surveillance. "They seemed to know everything," he told a Washington Post reporter. He was then informed that he was to become an FSB agent and spy on his friends in Yabloko. The agents told him that Yabloko was passing secret information to unnamed foreign agencies. If he would agree to join the FSB, he was told he’d have a bright future. The FSB would see to it that when he graduated he’d easily find jobs in the top research institutes; the FSB would smooth his way. That was the carrot they offered. This stick came next: Turn down the assignment and he’d be thrown out of the university, drafted into the army and given a one-way ticket to the blood-soaked Chechnya battlefield. Intimidated at first, he agreed, but afterward had second thoughts and went public. He was promptly expelled and, according to the New York Post, is now living underground, ducking the FSB and the threatened draft. Barkovski’s revelations angered a former top KGB officer, now a vigorous opponent of the resurgent agency. Writing in the Moscow Times, Konstantin Preobrazhensky, a former KGB colonel turned intelligence critic, warned: "Democracy in Russia is threatened today. Once again, the KGB is coming to power. ... A newly resurgent KGB will use old KGB methods: creating a cult of secrecy, 'imposing order' in dealings with foreigners. Not everyone will like this. Dissidents will appear again. That's just what the security service needs, someone to work on, to compromise, to arrest." In response to the incident, Yabloko leader Grigory Yavlinsky wrote to both Putin and the FSB demanding to know if his followers are being spied on. He suggested that he’s also under FSB surveillance. "Are the Yabloko movement and its leaders targets of a covert surveillance operation, and if so on what legal grounds?" he wrote in his letter to the FSB. "Is it true that you, in the name of orders from the president of the Russian federation ... have ordered a covert surveillance operation against me and my loved ones?" St. Petersburg FSB chief Nikolai Patrushev denied the charge. "No investigative action in relation to Yabloko, you personally, or other leaders of the party of Barkovsky have been conducted or are being conducted," he wrote in reply. Baltic State University head Yuri Savelyev confirmed the FSB presence at the school and denied Barkovski and another student, who also fled FSB recruitment and went underground, were punished for their actions. They were expelled, he said, for missing classes. "The FSB is very active in our university. They get 20 or 30 graduates from us every year. I am very happy about this, because an organization like that needs prepared staff," said Savelyev. Edited January 21, 2004 by rawmvp Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 I still wonder where this large community of Russians came from. This is turning into James Bond. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 (edited) I'll wait to post my version until these threads look normal again. (EDIT: Unless I'm the only guy that's getting every thread in a disjointed manner and all shoved to the right side of the screen) Edited January 21, 2004 by Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brush with Greatness 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Yes, yes you are. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest reshad974 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 no, he's not... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Firestarter 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 There was just too much smoldering, fiery passion in our eyes on that fateful day in the bathroom, as evidenced by the foggy mirrors. This is my favourite line so far. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TSA09 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Marney, I'm shocked you didn't say anything about the whole KGB thing he posted earlier. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edwin MacPhisto 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 I was trying to figure out who on the board this could possibly be, but I can't think of anyone who would keep this up for so long when it's stopped being funny long ago. Wake me up when you go anal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chuck Woolery 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 rawmvp = RavishingRickRudo. Look at the way he responded to the guy's post. That says it all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Firestarter 0 Report post Posted January 21, 2004 Marney, I'm shocked you didn't say anything about the whole KGB thing he posted earlier. Eh. It's more fun to watch him try to parse "Natalie's" reference to an organisation which was disbanded over a decade ago. I know half a dozen people who really were in the KGB when it was still around, as Russia is my main area. Not one refers to the FSB as the KGB - nor do ordinary people in Vladivostok, Moscow, St Petersburg, Korsakovskiy, or Nizhni Novgorod, nor any of the other places I've visited. The KGB was actually something that was a part of their lives, not some convenient prop for a bullshit online fantasy involving a beautiful virgin nymphomaniac ballerina who, if she were real, would appear to be severely impaired in her taste in males (I'd say "men," but that would be inaccurate). Whether they remember it with hatred or whether they're still loyal to its memory, no one - neither intelligence professionals nor ordinary citizens - brings up the KGB casually as a cultural reference, or calls its current incarnation by its old name. For them, real memories exist of it and its activities, and they aren't lightly recalled. I don't feel like lecturing a teenager about its very real breakup or the compartmentalisation of its functions into half a dozen different services or the purge of a lot of old directorate heads (especially those responsible for internal security and protection), or the fact that the idea of an actual intelligence agent targeting his friend's son's ex-girlfriend's wannabe boyfriend is fucking ridiculous. No doubt he'd feel compelled to defend himself by dragging out another "Well, duh" article which can't spell Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti correctly. Google is, after all, the first refuge of the liars and the ignorant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2004 rawmvp = RavishingRickRudo. Look at the way he responded to the guy's post. That says it all. So this would be another case of that genius RRR wit I hear so much about and why he continues to post "hilarious" fantasy booking ideas in the WWE folder? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sandman9000 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2004 Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti I have the sudden urge to go and buy a vowel. And this is still ghey. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Damaramu 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2004 Dude......Marney just fucking told you. She tells a lot of people......but she owned you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
