Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 Ok, I've been realizing lately that I'm not a very good conversationalist. Like, when I have to talk to people (especially females) for an extended period of time, we'll have like a good minute or two of conversation, but then that turns into a long, awkward silence. And I don't think it has anything to do with my shyness or anything, because it even happens to me on AIM, and I'm sure some you that have IM'd me can attest to this. It's really starting to work my nerves. Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have any tips to get around this? I need to know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 (edited) Here's some of what I do, for good or ill. When I'm at a social gathering and meet someone, I try to find out what their interests are then I talk with them about it. The trick is not to beat the issue into the ground or anything, but if you get someone to open up then that's when some of the best conversations take place. Don't be afraid to be yourself and let your opinions known. Chances are the person you're talking to might share the same views but is just too afraid to talk about them. And if they disagree with you then you have another avenue of talk. Of course, if you are talking to a militant feminazi or staunch pro-lifer this might backfire, but at least you stepped into the batter's box and took your swing. It just seems, in my opinion, that too many people these days are trying to be polite and respectful of other people’s feelings – f*ck that. Go in there, be yourself and have fun... Edited October 22, 2003 by kkktookmybabyaway Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 On the phone, eat an apple. Seinfeld influenced, but really works. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
B. Brian Brunzell 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 I'm with kkk. Juts be yourself dude. If the people you're talking to don't like it, fuck 'em. You'll eventually run in to someone like yourself whom you can hold a decent conversation with. It'll happen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 Following current events really helps out, too... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 Bring the conversation to the gathering. Example: Wear a swastika. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 22, 2003 Bring the conversation to the gathering. Example: Wear a swastika. I dunno about conversation, but that seems like a good way to catch an ass whooping around here. And I do tend to bite my tongue to keep from offending people, so that's something I could definitely work on. My biggest thing is that after "Hi. How are you doing?", I just have a really hard time keeping conversations going...and everything I say sounds very forced. For example, last week, I was on the train talking to one of my professors, and when I couldn't think of anything to say, I started asking a bunch of OBVIOUS questions about the syllabus just to break the tension. "So...tests are worth FIFTEEN percent of the grade...I see." Either that happens, or I just end the convo entirely and come off looking rude. Eh... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest stardust Report post Posted October 22, 2003 Anecdotes can sometimes help keep a conversation moving, especially if they're funny and/or kinda off the wall, plus, if you're talking to someone you're interested in and who's interested in you, it's a way to allow that person to learn more about you, and gives them an avenue to let you know more about them. Like KKK said, current events is also a good thing to keep conversations going. Talk about things that interest you and that you know about. And once again, like KKK said, don't be afraid to speak your mind and state your opinion. Debate can sometimes be great for conversation, as long as it doesn't get too heated and end in an all-out brawl. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Debate can sometimes be great for conversation, as long as it doesn't get too heated and end in an all-out brawl. Aww...just take the fun out of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest stardust Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Oops. Wrestling message board. All-out heated brawls would be considered fun by most of you guys. *grin* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 And I do tend to bite my tongue to keep from offending people, so that's something I could definitely work on. As long as you don't use an ice-breaker like: "A Jew, Black and Asian walk into a bar," you shouldn't get into too much trouble. Unless of course you are visiting the MrRant household. Here's an example of the kkk charm: I met Swift_Terror's better half back when I lived in Ohio. We were sitting there with that uncomfortable silence I hate so much, so I just blurted out “so what are you into?” I was hoping she’d say group sex or something, but instead we had a great conversation regarding, among other things, movies and video games. In fact, I just about died when she said that she could beat Star Wars: Jedi Battles (or whatever it’s called). Hell, I could never get past the Jar-Jar level. Of course, some of the stuff I said probably scared her, but big deal – she won’t be the first, nor will she be the last... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Unless of course you are visiting the MrRant household. At least I don't have SS shaved into my cat's back or a white person chair and a black person milk crate...eh "chair" at my house like you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 "So, ya see any good movies lately?" usually does it for me (sure, it's blatent small talk, but depending on the situation, that's exactly what you want and kills any tension in the room). That opens up a whole big can of worms that you can work from. Unless they haven't seen any... then you're kinda fucked... but then again, who'd want to talk to em anyways? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the pinjockey 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Last time I tried "Seen any good movies?", the answer I got was Lizzie McGuire. From a 21 year old girl. Quickest end to a conversation I ever had. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Unless of course you are visiting the MrRant household. At least I don't have SS shaved into my cat's back or a white person chair and a black person milk crate...eh "chair" at my house like you. Milk crate? They should be so lucky... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Papacita..I know the answer to your woes...learn sign language, and find yourself a deafmute. A disability is a WORLD of conversation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
B. Brian Brunzell 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Last time I tried "Seen any good movies?", the answer I got was Lizzie McGuire. From a 21 year old girl. Quickest end to a conversation I ever had. I also tired that and got the same response. I didn't end the conversation, I just used that information as joke feul for her(also 21). Anytime I work with her, that joke always comes up, just like the guy I work with who got punched in the face...at work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Talk about the most minute and trivial things possible, but do so in a manner where it's funny. Works for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
art_vandelay 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Papacita, you're not alone. I also possess horrendous social skills. I'm reading a lot of the advice here and it all seems to be great. But really, the hardest part is actually initiating the conversation. Yes, that's the hardest part. And all that "be yourself" stuff. What does that mean? Act like the way I am when I'm with my closest friends? It so easy to say but tough to practice. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have to deal with all this social bullshit. I hate it, but I'm miserable without it. Please pity me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 I know where you're coming from, art. I dunno if I'm much help here, since I'm still trying to get the hang of it myself, but as far as initiating conversation, I just try to bring up something obvious that you know you and another person can comment on...like the weather, or if you're in school, talk about the class or something. Usually, I can get at least a good five minutes of conversation out of something simple like "Damn, it's cold in here, isn't it?" As far as being yourself and opening up...I can see what you mean there, because I usually have to know someone for a while before I really start to open up to them. I don't think too many other people are as loose around strangers as they are around their friends anyway, so I wouldn't stress about that if I were you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Talk about Chyna. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 23, 2003 Talk about Chyna. That'd be more of a lecture than a conversation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Banders Kennany Report post Posted October 24, 2003 A guy who's lived enough to kill someone till they shit with a hockey stick should be able to find tons to talk about. You do mention that...right? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
{''({o..o})''} 0 Report post Posted October 24, 2003 I always try to fill in the quite spots of conversation by asking if they want to ride my goatee. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted October 25, 2003 A guy who's lived enough to kill someone till they shit with a hockey stick should be able to find tons to talk about. Heh. I love the way that's worded. Either way, I can imagine how well that'd go over in a conversation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SweetNSexyDiva Report post Posted October 25, 2003 Talk about the salient needs of today's society. Just kidding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fuzzy Dunlop 0 Report post Posted October 25, 2003 Always take an opposing viewpoint on things that aren't real serious, so you can have a longer conversation about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
