RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 8, 2003 *Return to the shot of Cena on the sidewalk* *John Cena is walking along the sidewalk, rap-music playing in the background, Christmas shoppers all around him carrying bags of gifts, a graphic appears on the screen which says “December 21st”. * *He collides with a man carrying a load of presents. The man falls down and drops all the gifts* Cena: YO MAN! Watch where you steppin! Man: I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Cena: That’s right, that’s right, that’s cause YOU CAN’T SEE ME! *Cena does his hand-in-front-of-face thing* Man: I’m sorry. Cena: Yeah, you sorry alright. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass right now! *The man is shocked* Man: It’s Christmas. *A small boy walks into the scene* Boy: Daddy, Daddy, are you all right? Man: Yes, I’m fine… I just.. slipped… that’s all. *A slight change in expression comes upon Cena’s face – one of regret -, until realizes it and changes it immediately back to his more usual angry look.* Cena: Yeah, he slipped. *Cena pushes the man down again* Cena: Your lucky it’s Christmas, or else you’d be dead right now. *Cena takes one of the gifts walks off with a smirk on his face, leaving the boy and the man left to pick up the rest of the presents* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted November 8, 2003 Are you guys done now? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest deadbeater Report post Posted November 8, 2003 The reason there can't be kayfabe is that the fans are more willing to root for heels. In fact some parts of the country, as well as almost all of the Interrnet, is out and out 'rudo territory', to borrow a Tijuana expession. That's one factor why Eddie Guerrero's Cheat to Win and Austin 3:16 works to attract fans: you can't get more heel than that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted November 8, 2003 The reason there can't be kayfabe is that the fans are more willing to root for heels. In fact some parts of the country, as well as almost all of the Interrnet, is out and out 'rudo territory', to borrow a Tijuana expession. If people were booked as heels, people that the fans could get emotionally involved with in terms of truly hating them, it'd be very damn easy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 8, 2003 I'm sorry, but this is a dumb topic. People don't believe ER is real, but that doesn't stop them from getting emotionally invested in the show. Even when they see all the "stars" of the show "breaking character" on ET, Access Hollywood, and in People Magazine. So of course "kayfabe" can exist in wrestling, it's just a matter of good writing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest deadbeater Report post Posted November 8, 2003 Nope nope nope. The only way you can have a character be a true universal heel nowadays is to have the character be an out and out racist or arrogant xenophobe. I couldn't believe that even in deepest Mississippi that Col. DeBeers got massive heat. Molly for example gets mixed heel and pop. She is now a generic heel, and as she is a very good performer, several fans do a "we are not worthy" bow at her presence. But what if they played up their original plan to the tilt, her being a crusader? Have her, for example, advocate a true Crusades X, and America take over Jerusalem in the name of Christianity, driving both the Jews and Arabs out unless they convert. She will definitely get a lot of heat. Hmm, maybe not even then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ultra Violence 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 So how long until they put the Aryan race gimmick on Brock? Maybe they can involve John Heidenreich muhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 I'm sorry, but this is a dumb topic. Great logic you have there. It's a matter of discussing if the sport can either go back to how it was to an extent, or if it would have been possible to remain as it was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 It's a matter of discussing if the sport can either go back to how it was to an extent, or if it would have been possible to remain as it was Maybe it should become a "sport" first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 It's a matter of discussing if the sport can either go back to how it was to an extent, or if it would have been possible to remain as it was Maybe it should become a "sport" first. I WANT it to become more of a sport, I CRAVE that. However, you know and I know that the chances of that happening, under the McMahons, are totally absent. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 It's a matter of discussing if the sport can either go back to how it was to an extent, or if it would have been possible to remain as it was. No it's not. It's clearly a matter of John Cena discovering the true meaning of Christmas. Anyway, let's pick up where we left off. Previously, on a Very Special Smackdown: *Cena pushes the man down again* Cena: Your lucky it’s Christmas, or else you’d be dead right now. *Cena takes one of the gifts walks off with a smirk on his face, leaving the boy and the man left to pick up the rest of the presents* now, continuing after the Smackdown rap is done with "O Tannenbaum" playing instead of the normal beats: *The boy and man struggle to pick up their gifts, but eventually gather them all and walk back home. As Cena is driving through the mean streets, he sees the two walking in the neighborhood.* Cena: What's this? Walking in this hood, you better leave. Or you won't live to see New Year's Eve. *It is then that Cena sees the man and his son walk into one of the run-down houses.* Cena: Aww, crap, I just messed with a poor guy. *That night, Cena is visited by a spirit. A fallen spirit he knew from long ago.* Cena: I know you! You're the UPN executive who pitched "Manhunt!" Exec: That is I. I come bearing great importance. Cena: I, I knew you screwed up, but I didn't know you were DEAD! Exec: When the boys at Viacom say "heads will roll," they mean it. You don't even wanna see what happened to the crew from "Shasta McNasty." Cena: Whoa whoa whoa. So I'm sittin' here chillin', and now you're illin', sayin' that I'm some sort of a villain? Exec: I bear great chains. "Chains Of Love," another failed reality show I am burdened with for all eternity, despite its short duration. You will be visited by three spirits tonight. They are your only hope, John. Cena: Aw man, UPN boy, this ploy is so wack. Go back to making shows about guys that are black! You think I've gotta be like Ebenezer Scrooge? Well then you can get on your knees and swallow my-- Exec: The time is now, John! The time is nooooooooooooow... *Cena is visited by a large jovial man who is grinning from ear to ear, eating and drinking like seven men.* Cena: What's up? You're Andre the Giant! Andre: Ah am ze ghost of wrestling Christmas passssssst. Ho-gawnnnnnn! Cena: Hogan? Andre: Sorry. We must go back to ze past now. (time warp) Andre: There are you are, working with your mentor, PN News. One day you swore you would make it to the big time and be a white rapping wrestler just like he did. Cena: Yeah! Yeah that was me! Good old PN News. He threw some wack Christmas parties. Mantaur always been crashin' 'em though. Andre: And now PN News is gone. Cena: He died? Andre: For all general intents and purposes....yes. Yes he did. Remember how you swore to him that you would keep it real, John? You haven't been. Cena: Well times change, big man, I hate to trouble you. But that guy was over in WCW! It don't matter. Andre: But PN News fell off too. Soon, his "yo baby yo" got much worse, and he paid the price! Learn from the past, John....LEARN FROM THE PAST!!! You will be visited by another spirit soon, John. *The Ghost disappears.* Cena: That's as intelligible as Andre the Giant has ever been. Whoa. *A second spirit enters. Trish Stratus comes in wearing a sheer white gown.* Trish: Oh John! Cena: Thank you Santa! Oh yeah! I'll stuff YOUR stocking, baby. Trish: I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas present. What you did to those people today was just not cool. Let's go over and see how they're doing. Cena: You wanna make me feel bad Trish, you're outta luck. I'm here in my bedroom so why don't we just-- Trish: Family programming, John. Cena: Whatev. *Trish transports Cena to the run-down bungalow in which the man and boy lived. They look in their window and see the mother laboring over the stew for tomorrow's meal. The children are fighting, gunshots can be heard down the street. The father is checking the gifts that he dropped when Cena pushed him down, and finds out almost all of them, especially a snow globe he bought for his wife, have been broken. Another Christmas gone, it seems.* Cena: Aw dammit! I can't believe this. If I had only known they were poor, I wouldn't have played it like that. How do I get outta this one, Trish? Trish: There's still going to be time, John. But I'm afraid my time here is done. I need to teach that Gayda bitch how to take a clothesline. Again. Merry Christmas, John! I wish you the best! *Trish exits.* Cena: Well according to formula there should be one more. *The Undertaker shows up in biker garb.* Cena: Deadman Inc.? I thought I was done with you. Taker: You know who I am. Cena: Aw come on man. You gotta operate! Be all ominous, all "I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas yet to come! Taker: ... Cena: Come on! Don't let me down! Taker: ...I ain't feelin' it. Cena: This sucks. And you're supposed to look like Death and everything. You of all people could've dragged out the throwbacks. Taker: I'm done with that phase. No. Cena: Well if you're gonna be such a crappy Reaper figure, give the position to one of the newly dead wrestlers. They'd scare me straight. Taker: I ain't givin' up my spot. Cena: Now I see it! If I don't do something to clean up, the future...is going to be the present! Thanks, spirit! Taker: You didn't shake my hand before this vision ended. Now I'm gonna make you pay. *UT shows Cena a scene of Cena's grave, as the rookies from Raw dance on it.* Cena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Cena wakes up. Realizing he must change, he buys a turkey dinner for the family he almost ruined Christmas for. To replace their gifts, he got them some mad crazy bling-bling, and some mad throwbacks. Billy, the son, got the rainbow-skyline Denver Nuggets jersey. Janie, the daughter, received the MPLS. Lakers. And Tiny Tazz, the injured youngster, got an old Philadelphia Flyers sweater. Tazz: Yay! Orange is my favorite color! Cena: Word life, Tazz! Tazz: Word life, Cena! WORD LIFE, EVERYONE! And that's how John Cena discovered the true meaning of Christmas. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 YES! YES! YES! YES! YES~!!!! I was going to have Cena become the new santa claus to save christmas, but it didn't have Taker in it... POST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 YES! YES! YES! YES! YES~!!!! I was going to have Cena become the new santa claus to save christmas, but it didn't have Taker in it... POST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! RRR, we've gotta put our posts together and get this whole thing posted on the site around Christmastime. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 Agreed. The story of Tiny Tazz must be told. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Highland 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 The internet, plus the rumours and up-to-date news about the business really prevent the return of the pure kayfabe era. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 Agreed. The story of Tiny Tazz must be told. Hey, if Tiny Tazz is part of the mockery of your tale, I must be involved. It's written in the cosmos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 Agreed. The story of Tiny Tazz must be told. Hey, if Tiny Tazz is part of the mockery of your tale, I must be involved. It's written in the cosmos. Well your line about "Cena discovering the true meaning of teamwork" is what inspired not only the whole story, but an integral part of The Fertig Saga. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 Nov 8 2003, 01:57 PM Lord of the Curry writes "Then, gradually, Cena learns the meaning of teamwork" Nov 8 2003, 03:01 PM The Czech Republic replies with ""And that's how John Cena discovered the true meaning of Christmas." --A Very Special SmackDown" Nov 8 2003, 03:09 PM RavishingRickRudo writes ".... IT BEGINS!!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbacon 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 RRR needs his own column now~!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 RRR needs his own column now~!!! I think RRR and I should get Raw or Smackdown duty together after the next person submits to the pain. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 With great power comes great responsibility, Czech... On the plus-side, we won't actually have to WATCH the show cause we'd just fuck around with the characters and gimmicks and put them in situations that never really happened anways... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 With great power comes great responsibility, Czech... On the plus-side, we won't actually have to WATCH the show cause we'd just fuck around with the characters and gimmicks and put them in situations that never really happened anways... That's true. We could lapse into 1890s Raw fot old time's sake. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cbacon 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2003 RRR needs his own column now~!!! I think RRR and I should get Raw or Smackdown duty together after the next person submits to the pain. Yes . I woudn't care about watching 'rasslin anymore. Just write what the hell whatever you want. You guys have a niche for this sort of stuff. MAKE IT HAPPEN~!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Korgath Report post Posted November 10, 2003 What's kayfabe? Seriously. Keanu Reeves isn't the saviour of the universe, Kiefer Sutherland isn't a counter-terrorist spec and Steven Segal definitely isn't some shamanistic kungfu asskicker. But when they get into their roles, we see Neo, Jack Bauer and uh... Shamanistic Kungfu Asskicker. Now why can't the WWE do that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord of The Curry 0 Report post Posted November 10, 2003 RRR and Da Czech = GH and Joe 2K3. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest deadbeater Report post Posted November 13, 2003 One way to return to kayfabe is to do away the concept of heels and faces altogether, and do true soap opera in which there is something to really hate each character. Each one schemes against the other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2003 Yeah! It'll be like the McMahon family.. only MORE of em! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anya 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2003 Now why can't the WWE do that? They don't care to. For some reason Vince loves to put over how he "makes movies" yet refuses to build a coherent and consistent universe for WWE stories. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2003 He never said "good" movies. It's more like a mix of old home movies and edited porn - lots of random, meaningless, self-gratifying segments and no real pay-off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LaParkaYourCar 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2003 I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that what was insulting people's intelligence back in the mid 90's wasn't Kayfabe...it was bad gimmicks. Vince's speech about fans having their intelligence insulted would have been a lot better if he had not gone on to insult our intelligence quite a bit since then. The fans know it's fake, but that doesn't bother them or else they wouldn't be there whether the wrestlers admitted it was fake or not. Kayfabe doesn't necessarily have to be Bill Watts strict. (Faces and Heels not hanging together outside the show) But if you look at Mexico and Japan you'll see that treating wrestling more seriously helps. Sadly Kayfabe is dead...but that doesn't mean wrestling can't be treated seriously in the USA anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
