Greatest Promo Ever

[haVoc 0]

Hey, anyone have a transcript of the night Flair returned to Nitro after being fired and sued by Bischoff?

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

ligerbomb03, count your lucky stars. MrZsasz is here to save this thread:

 

Hulk Hogan's best stuff was as good as it got. We should get some transcripts of that on here. Don't forget too the face-to-face interview Austin and Rock had leading up to X-7.

[Guest CommaderK9]

Oh yeah. There is nothing like the patented: Prayers, Vitamins....24 inch pythons....whatcha gonna do....brutha promo. Those are just GOLD *feel the sarcasm*

[bob_barron 0]

Hey, anyone have a transcript of the night Flair returned to Nitro after being fired and sued by Bischoff?

From slashwrestling-

 

RIC FLAIR is in the building. As he walks to the ring, you can't help but feel that for this day, for this moment, everything really IS okay, and everything CAN be all right. Flair hugs each person in the ring - first Dillon, then McMichael, Benoit, Malenko. When he hugs Arn the cheers continue and there can't be a dry eye in the house - there CAN'T. "Greenville, I give you the Champ." Another wave of cheering engulfs the house. Fifteen thousand people, and I guarantee you not one of them is sitting. I'm getting chills right now. "My God...thank you...thank you very much...I'm almost embarrassed by the response, but when I see this, I know that the twenty - five years that I've spent trying to make you happy every night of your life was worth every damn minute of it. Now, somebody told me that the Horsemen were having a party tonight in Greenville! Could that be true that the most elite group that Eric Bischoff said was dead is alive and well? Bischoff, this might be my only shot, and I gotta tell ya, I'm gonna make it my best. Is this what you call a great moment in TV? It's wrong, because this is REAL! This is not bought and paid for! It's a REAL - LIFE - SITUATION! Just like the night in Columbia, South Carolina, when you looked at me - tears in my eyes - and said 'God, that's good TV' - it was real! Arn Anderson passed the torch - it was real, dammit! You think Sting was crying in the dressing room like I was on TV if it wasn't real? This guy, my best friend, is one of the greatest performers who ever lived, and YOU - you squashed him, in one night. Then you get on the phone and tell me, 'disband the Horsemen, they're dead.' Disband the Horsemen, me. You know what, I looked at myself in the mirror the next day and I saw a pathetic figure that gave up and quit! And for that, I owe you, the wrestling fans, I owe these guys an apology. Because it won't happen again! [bischoff is coming out.] Bischoff, whatever you think...no, you're an overbearing asshole! That's right! You're an obnoxious, you're an obnoxious, overbearing ass! Abuse of power! You! Abuse of power! Cut me off! Come on! It's called abuse of power! You suck! You, I hate your guts. I hate your guts. You are a liar, you're a cheat, you're a scam, you are a no good son of a (mute). Fire me! I'm already fired! Fire me! I'm already fired!" Flair's coat is off but Bischoff has already walked back. Cut to black.

[Bored 0]

Damn Barron just beat me to it.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Oh yeah. There is nothing like the patented: Prayers, Vitamins....24 inch pythons....whatcha gonna do....brutha promo. Those are just GOLD *feel the sarcasm*

Your ignorance is showing.

 

I'll allow a smark with a bit more tolerance for idiocy to handle this one.

[Guest CommaderK9]

By all means, please convince me of my ignorance. I never enjoyed the classic Hogan promo. Maybe his heel work, but the 80s Hogan nonsense is about as boring as it gets.

[haVoc 0]

Do you remember them or have you heard them on tape years later?

[Guest CommaderK9]

I remember them quite clearly. I have been watching wrestling since 1985, and the promos drove me nuts back then.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Hogan's promos were what every babyface since has tried to emulate. They fired you up, they made you WANT to see Hogan fight Fat Assed Heel #3,421, they were amazing in both their emotion and their effectiveness. His skill on the mic is what seperates him from nearly every other man to hold the WWF Title. On the mic he was THE MAN, so either you've, OR you're a tasteless hack.

 

You can decide

[Guest CommaderK9]

I certainly wouldn't want to quote you without permission, but I will anyway, "either you've OR you are a tasteless hack" doesn't make much sense to me.

[Guest ligerbomb03]

I remember being there live at the ACC in Toronto when Rock returned to Raw and turned heel, then started those hilarious skits with the Hurricane.

 

CLASSIC

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Transcripts of some of Hulks best work:

 

 

http://members.tripod.com/~kingkris/hulkam...interviews.html

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Mean Gene: Alright Bobby Heenan, I'm very curious have you purchased

championship belt insurance?

 

Bobby Heenan: You bet I have have.

 

Mean Gene: You know since your man Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorf refuses

to be interviewed, perhaps you can give us a little bit of the story.

Let's go back to the time when of course Paul Orndorff your man

betrayed...

 

Bobby Heenan: What are you? Wait wait wait wait what do you mean

betrayed? He didn't betray anybody, all he did was wrestle Hulk Hogan

in Cleveland. He beat that man, he left him laying and tonight when

he's done with Hogan, he's gonna be left like an old newspaper, lining

the bottom of the birdcage.

 

Paul Orndorf (interrupting):Come on Bobby.

 

Mean Gene: Thank you very much, Vince apparently its been building up

to one that's been talked about for a long time, Hulk Hogan to meet

and defend against Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorf.

 

Mean Gene: Hulk Hogan, World heavyweight champ, it has been a long and

windy road as the Beetles put it so aptly in song that leads you to

this steel cage match. Your comments?

 

Hulk Hogan: Well Mean Gean, it has been a long road brother, but I can

promise ya it all stops here man. All those Hulkamaniacs, they're

ready for a new start in the new year and this steel cage is a dead

end for Mr. Wonderful.

 

Mean Gene: Alright, as we head into 1987, Hulk last year you established

yourself as the finest practitioner ever in steel cage competition.

Why didn't you settle this feud with Orndorf earlier?

 

Hulk Hogan: Mean Gene, the steel cage is the most brutal arena of human

competiton. It is the last resort man, as Mr. Wonderful's about to

find out.

 

Mean Gene: I thank you very much Hulk Hogan, heavyweight champion of

the World. I gotta believe we're part of history in the making, back

to you Vince.

 

 

 

*Marks out*

[Guest Ray]

I challenge the notion that Jericho was "put over" at No Mercy 2001 or Royal Rumble 2002.

 

The finish of NM 01 made it look as though he ONLY won because of Stephanie McMahon and her chair.

 

Royal Rumble 2002? Un-Americans run-in...low blow...exposed turnbuckle...feet on the ropes...YEAH BABY! FEEL THE PUT OVER~!

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

My personal fav Hogan promo(not counting his heel promos) is the one he cut on Bossman in their feud in 89(right before the cage match) where he talked about being judge, jury and executioner.

[Dandy 0]

Not that those Jericho/Rock promos weren't gold, but this is the best one I have on my comp:

 

***Rock and Jericho one-upping each other (not exactly verbatim....please forgive)***

 

Rock: "...and it doesn't matter who tries to get in my way. Be it Chris Jericho, Chris Jericho's *daddy!*, Chris Jericho's *momma!*, Uncle Joe Jericho with the glass eye, or Grandpa Jimmy-Jack Jericho with the iron lung! Or hell, maybe it's Grandma Jezebel Jericho....with the double X 30 PANTIES! It doesn't matter. You bring 'em all! We'll have one big family reunion, so the Rock can Layeth the Smacketh Down on AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL their candy asses!"

 

This is the backstage promo where Jericho was cutting Rock off, Rock was cutting Jericho off, and they wre using each other's catchphrases. If anyone has the verbatim promo, please post it. I'm too lazy to transcribe it from my video.

[Guest Ray]

Steve Austin - King of the Ring 1996

 

The first thing I want to be done is to get that piece of crap out of my ring. Don’t just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF. Cause I proved son, without a shadow of doubt you ain’t got what it takes anymore. You sit there and you sit thump your bible, you say your prayers and it doesn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16, Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass. All he has to do is get him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird, and try to get back some of that courage he had in his prime. As the King of the Ring I’m serving notice to everyone of the WWF superstars, I don’t give a damn what they are, they’re all on the list and that’s Stone Colds list and I’m fixing to start running through all of them. As far as this championship match is concerned, I don’t give a damn whether it’s Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin’s time has come. And when I get this shot you’re looking at the next WWF champion… and that’s the bottom line, cause Stone Cold said so.

[CanadianChris 0]

This was the promo that really started turning me off Hogan as a kid...listen to the egomaniac:

 

Gene: Viewing that footage, Hulk Hogan, the only thing I can say is, what a difference a year makes! A year ago at this time, at WrestleMania IV, you were at the side of the Macho Man when he became the undisputed World Wrestling Federation champ. One year later, here in Atlantic City, you're going to be challenging this very same man for the world crown.

 

Hulk: Well, you know, you're exactly right, Mean Gene. One year ago, brother, me and the Macho Man were as one. We were best of friends. We would do anything to win together, brother. And if you would've told me one year later, right in the very same place that it started, in the Trump Plaza, that we'd be locking horns, going head on head, for the WWF Championship, I'd'a called you a liar, Mean Gene!

 

But you know something, I should've seen this thing coming, man. As the Megapower team was formed, brother, as the SummerSlams, as the Survivor Series went down, as the Megapowers started growing together, the Mania was a little bit ahead of the Madness, man -- but it really didn't matter! You were either in, or you were either out, brother. You either believed or you didn't, man. And you were either ready, or you weren't!

 

The Macho Man made me feel that he believed in the three demandments, of the prayers, the training and the vitamins. He made me believe that he was in my corner, Mean Gene, and he also made me believe that we was ready to fight all odds. That's why I stuck with him, brother. That's why we stayed together so long. (growls)

 

Gene: You know, as that relationship of the Megapowers deteriorated even further, Macho Man Randy Savage went so far as to attack your Hulkamaniacs!

 

Hulk: Oh yeah, he did more than just attack the Hulkamaniacs, brother. He went so far, as to put our manager, the lovely Elizabeth, right between us, man! It was him that was eaten alive by the jealousy. It was him that was eaten alive by the lust, brother. It was the simple fact that the Macho Man couldn't be the man all my Hulkamaniacs wanted him to be, brother. He couldn't handle the load -- he couldn't handle the pressure!

 

But what really tore us apart, was the way he was so jealous of Hulkamania...the way he put Elizabeth between us...the way he manipulated her, the way he twisted this whole beaultiful thing around! But I found out one thing, Macho Man. You're not a believer in the demandments, brother. You're a cheap-shot artist. You take whatever you can get, as quick as you want. You were never in my corner -- you were always on the outside, waiting for me to make the first move!

 

But just like Donald Trump, Macho Man, I hope you're ready, brother. Because Donald Trump has question in his own mind! He sent a whole team of seismetologists (sic) out here to check the foundations of the Trump Towers, because, when the Megapowers explode off the launching pad, brother, as we erupt over the whole Atlantic City, he was worried about the foundation. He was worried that the thousands of people in the arena might become unseated and swallowed up by the earth!

 

Donald Trump, don't worry about my Hulkamaniacs. They're survivors -- they're ready! But YOU, Macho Man, I don't care where you stand, I don't care what you believe in, all I want from you is your best! I want you to be ready! I want the Macho Madness to be at its peak! Because when Hulkamania rules, when Hulkamania lives forever, when Hulkamania puts you down on your knees, I want the whole world to realize that I beat you at your best! And at the end of WrestleMania V, I will be the World Wrestling Federation champion! And whatcha gonna do, Macho Man, when the whole world full of Hulkamaniacs DESTROY YOU? (growls)

[Slayer 0]

Which Rock-Jericho mic-off was the one where Rock made the crack about "beating guys down south named 'Juventud'", and Chris lips off the mic "I took his mask!" while making mask-removing motions?

[Just John 0]

One of my favorites was after KOTR 01. Edge comes out to celebrate, only to be interrupted by Billy Gunn. I was pleasantly surprised when Edge verbally raped him. If anyone has the transcript, please post it.

[CanadianChris 0]

One of my favorites was after KOTR 01. Edge comes out to celebrate, only to be interrupted by Billy Gunn. I was pleasantly surprised when Edge verbally raped him. If anyone has the transcript, please post it.

Again, from slashwrestling:

 

Edge: Wow, Billy - you sound like a human vaccuum cleaner - managing to both suck and blow at the same time! And Billy, since you're not really doing anything late, I was wondering if you could do me a favour - if in two years' time at the King of the Ring I'm not defending a title, or even in a match, and my very special assignment is to go to WWF New York and eat a meatball sandwich, then please - just shoot me in the head! 1999 is SO two years ago, and it's not my fault if you've done a big pile of nothing since then! That doesn't give you the right to come out and rain on MY parade - and Commissioner, I vow to you that I will not 'Billy Gunn' this King of the Ring title, because Billy...I plan on being entertaining.

 

Billy: Yeah, you wanta be real entertaining? How 'bout if I kick your royal ass right here tonight?

 

Edge: Sounds good, Commissioner?

 

Regal: I suppose it'd be all right, yes.

 

Edge: Great. Then I hereby decree that the first act in the Era of Awesomeness will be to totally annihilate Billy Bitchcakes!

[Guest MikeSC]

I challenge the notion that Jericho was "put over" at No Mercy 2001 or Royal Rumble 2002.

 

The finish of NM 01 made it look as though he ONLY won because of Stephanie McMahon and her chair.

 

Royal Rumble 2002? Un-Americans run-in...low blow...exposed turnbuckle...feet on the ropes...YEAH BABY! FEEL THE PUT OVER~!

In both matches, Rock did not annihilate him. They were tight and Jericho won with some good ol' heel cheating. NM showed that he wanted to win the big one SO badly that he'd do anything to do it --- and he did so.

 

RR simply showed that he was a heel and had his minions.

 

His match with Austin the next month, though, KILLED him.

-=Mike

[Guest Cerebus]

Not too long ago, me and my dad watched this little gem from a Saturday Night Main Event back in 86. Roddy Piper is supposed to miss his match against Iron Shiek because of injuries he got from wrestling Adirane Adonis, Bob Orton, and Don Mooraco and he's being inteviewed by Mean Gene:

 

Piper: "So what you're saying to me is I can't wrestle The Iron Sheik tonight because some goofball in a dress and some fat hog (600 pounds on the whole!) what they did is hurt my knee, so I can't wrestle? Is that what you're telling me?!"

 

Okerlund: "No, the doctor is telling you that."

 

Piper: "Oh, the doctor is telling me that. You know what you can do, little Dr. Torre? You can go out and deliver somebody's baby! I ain't no baby! NOBODY IN MY ENTIRE DARN LIFE HAS EVER TOLD ME WHAT TO DO! IF I WANNA WRESTLE, I'M GONNA WRESTLE! I'm not going to sit back and go 'oh my poor little knee' and let them have the courtesy of saying they didn't let me wrestle. I AIN'T GOING TO SAY THAT. YOU SEE, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD BETWEEN EVERY WRESTLER AND MYSELF! And I thank God for that, man!"

 

Okerlund: "....He's red hot, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what to make of it..."

 

Piper: "I DO!"

 

Okerlund: "I'm sure you do, Mr. Piper."

[Guest mickberna]

Which Rock-Jericho mic-off was the one where Rock made the crack about "beating guys down south named 'Juventud'", and Chris lips off the mic "I took his mask!" while making mask-removing motions?

That was Jericho's debut in the WWF. Rocky was in the ring when the "Millenium Countdown" ended, and Jericho interrupted him to save the WWF. Those were good times.

[Guest Stunt Granny]

The best promo ever was Kane's first words spoken into a mic.

 

"Austin......if I do not win the title..........I.....will....set myself........ON FIIIIIRE!!!!!!!"

 

That always cracks me up.

[Guest Stunt Granny]

I just thought of another one. Bret's USA heel turn promo the night after Wrestlemania 13 doesn't get much love. I think Bret's mic work through out his career is very under rated. The man could talk when he was feeling up to it.

[Guest Ray]

In both matches, Rock did not annihilate him. They were tight and Jericho won with some good ol' heel cheating. NM showed that he wanted to win the big one SO badly that he'd do anything to do it --- and he did so.

Eh, I don't agree with this. The story was Jericho wanting to PROVE that he could win a big match. This isn't like Austin being desperate to win the title at all costs at Wrestlemania 17. Jericho didn't want to win at all costs, he wanted to prove he could "win the big one." The NM finish shitted all over this story, and made Jericho look weak.

 

RR simply showed that he was a heel and had his minions.

I still say it made him look like he couldn't win by himself.

 

I still don't see how he was "put over" in either match.

[bob_barron 0]

Which Rock-Jericho mic-off was the one where Rock made the crack about "beating guys down south named 'Juventud'", and Chris lips off the mic "I took his mask!" while making mask-removing motions?

That was Jericho's debut in the WWF. Rocky was in the ring when the "Millenium Countdown" ended, and Jericho interrupted him to save the WWF. Those were good times.

No it wasnt

 

It was on a RAW in October I believe

[Guest wildpegasus]

I too am a mark for the Rock promo in Toronto.

 

I can't believe no one has mentioned any Mick Foley promos. He's got a whack of grat ones in ECW , WCW and the WWF

 

Rowddy Roddy Piper deserves more love as well.

 

Bret Hart is truly an underappreciated wrestler on the mic. I found myself glued on his words more than any one else because he always seemed to be talking honstely. Cornette and Heyman are awesome too.