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The Dames

The Dames' Diatribe on WWE Raw - 12/1/03

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Guest Fook

If I were you, I'd watch Raw by myself from now on.

That is, of course, unless you enjoy your brother's prancing.

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Actually, in my defense, he reference the real Johnnie Cochrane while I referenced the parody of Johnnie Cochrane without mentioning him by name.

 

Dames

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Guest JMA

I too was pissed off by the climax of the Jericho/Trish and Christian/Lita angle. That could've gone so much further with it...but the blew it. I doubt it will ever be able to recover from this.

 

I also noticed the camel toe. :D

 

And how exactly is Stacy free now? I doubt there will be any explanation...

 

Anyway, kudos on a good review. Everything that needed to be said was.

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I loved the Jericho-Christain angle so much that I made sure to catch the replay later on.

 

It's not over yet I believe- I think the angle still has many more twists and turns

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Sacremento Hos?

Did you see those women?

It looks like they beat up a MILF hunter copycat and stole the ugly broads he was walking with.

Storm and Val have nothing on the Godfather when it comes to Hos

I'm waiting for next week when they come out with two 300 pound Jeff Hardy fans.

 

 

Anyone, once again with a kickin review Dames. Use of a South Park quote to explain WWE writing works all too well.

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And why did Mark Henry attack Booker T? He got the pinfall on the man clean last week, what more does he want.

 

That's simple, in my eyes, to see.

 

Theodore Long considers Booker T an embarassment to the African American community, especialy in wrestling, and wants to take him out.

 

Mark Henry is following orders to destroy Booker once and for all for Mr. Long.

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Problem is, they haven't established that yet, and it's doubtful they'll even use that reason.

Eh, they have one more week.

 

Perhaps they'll mention it then....then again, maybe not.

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Guest Dynamite Kido

Honestly I didn't think RAW was unbearable. Dames, you should have had your brother over to prance during one of the worse off RAW's.......

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Guest TheZsaszHorsemen

Dames, you criticize the WWE for not mentioning that Booker T and Test teamed together during the Alliance. But when they do a GREAT piece of continuity and have Bischoff mention that Foley and Kane have bad blood between them, you fail to mention it in your report.

 

Consistancy. Other than that, good review.

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So, Thanksgiving is over and so is Black Friday. In my TNA Diatribe for November 26th, which I posted up last night, I asked you guys to send me your most humorous Thanksgiving stories. This time, I’m curious as to what some Black Friday horror stories you guys must have. After hearing about the poor woman that got trampled at Walmart on Friday for a $30 DVD player, only to be told that they’ll put one on HOLD for her, you’ve got to be able to laugh at your own misfortune, cuz it can’t be that serious.

 

I attempted to go up Wal-Mart at 6 AM for a Gamecube with Zelda collection. Took one look at the line, turned around and went home to bed.

 

Suddenly, Mick Foley’s music hits and the place erupts! Mick Foley walks down the aisle wearing a suit and carrying a clipboard. He gets in the ring and on THE STICK~! and explains himself, but not before getting a cheap pop from the Sacremento,CA crowd. Since Vince McMahon has apparently gone crazy (again), Linda McMahon and the WWE Board of Directors hired Mick Foley as an “outside consultant” to make any changes that he sees fit to “benefit this show”. Shit, he might as well be the new GM then if his power is limited to only Raw.

 

He *did* make himself GM. Well, I guess he's co-GM now after all.

 

Also, Mick Foley is a huuuuge manwhore.

 

Personally, I’d rather have someone impartial as a figurehead because there are always going to be problems with the shows if the GM or Commissioner or “whatever title it is this week that makes decisions” are going to side with either the babyfaces or the heels. I miss the days of WWF President Jack Tunney…

 

Well, most of the time as Commish Foley would do that, although he'd usually wisecrack on the heels.

 

Backstage, Eric Bischoff is with The Coach, obviously upset about Mick Foley becoming the new GM. Bischoff decides to call Linda McMahon and try to plead his case, but The Coach doesn’t think it’s a good idea since Bischoff tried to force himself on Linda and all. Bischoff calls anyway and promptly gets hung up on. Once again…if Linda can just go over Vince’s head like that, Bischoff wouldn’t be employed, so why is he still around?

 

Because Vince only hired Bischoff to make him miserable, humiliate him, and have the personal satisfaction of being his boss. So both McMahons like having Bisch under their thumbs.

 

Match Background: A couple of weeks ago on Raw, Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade defeated the Dudleys in a non-title match. Last week, Cade made his intentions clear to Bubba Ray Dudley that he wanted a tag title shot after the “Strange Bedfellows” match. Tonight, the young kids finally get their tag title shot.

 

Jindrak also beat D-Von on Heat!~

So, is Team Green a pair of faces or heels?

 

Although, I didn't really pick up on it at the time that the Duds seemed a little stiff. In retrospect, maybe, but good eye.

 

Mick Foley walks by and lets them know that out of all of the injuries he’s suffered, the worst thing he’s had to endure was listening to them announce Raw a few months back.

 

Does Mick not listen to JR and King?

 

Anyway, the match was alright, but VERY short and once again, Stacy is nothing more than a liability for Test at ringside.

 

Does Test not understand not to bring her out? Maybe he can send her to the back after getting the heat for the entrance.

 

J.R & The King pimp the Stone Cold Petition as they give out an e-mail and snail mail addresses to send your support. How funny would it be if Austin didn’t get much fan support to come back? That would never happen, but it sure would be hilarious.

 

Kent Brockman -- "Democracy just does not work!"

 

Terri Runnels is with Batista and Randy Orton, but Batista ends up doing all the talking. While Orton admires his own biceps as he mocks RVD’s thumb pointing taunt, Batista cuts a disappointing promo on Michaels. In a funny moment, as Orton and Batista walk away, a fan screams “FUCK YOU” very audibly and the crowd reacts in laughter.

 

Orton also was looking down Terri's shirt. Orton wasn't talking, didn't stink up the main event, and didn't get too much airtime. He gets a pass this week, because there were far more serious problems to bitch about even if he was all over the show.

 

Scott Steiner and Test come to the ring with Stacy Keibler. Steiner gets on the mic and stutters as he always does before getting to the point that both he and Test share “everything”, which includes property of Stacy. Test gets on the mic and corners Stacy, telling her that she needs a reminder of what her place is exactly, so they’re opening a “Kiss My Ass” club of their own. Test and Steiner lower their tights and jeans, respectively, both showing G-Strings and in Steiner’s case, a girly purple one.

 

That whole segment was disgusting on about 30 different levels.

 

Well, in the end, all of the feuding that Test & Steiner did and all of the time wasted with Stacy as Test’s property did nothing for either man. At least it’s fucking over.

 

Oh, no it isn't...

 

Also, gotta love that a MAN had to come to Stacy's aid in a situation she should have been able to handle herself. Foley should point out that, you know, you can't OWN a human being and therefore isn't not a legal contract provision. Therefore, that provision and possibly the whole contract could be struck down as invalid.

 

As La Resistance comes out, Mick Foley compares them to The Rock (which is funny since Conway has been compared to The Rock in terms of his in-ring movements). Foley says that the fans were booing The Rock in the beginning, but once given a reason, he became popular, so he thinks the same can happen for the French men.

 

Oh, crap...I guess that's the next big push coming up.

 

After the match, Mick Foley gets on the mic and tells La Resistance that America and tonight’s crowd is very forgiving and they’ll be willing to if they’ll recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

 

*cough* WHOREWHOREWHOREWHORE *cough*

 

This match was given the most time out of any on Raw so far and mostly everyone worked pretty solid. Jericho working as a babyface for the first time in a while was also pretty refreshing. He even brought back the “Come on BAY BAY” a couple of times during this match. The crowd was pretty into it and they even seemed to be forgiving when Gayda completely blew that clothesline spot. The crowd just loves Jericho and Trish together, so hopefully, whatever happens tonight doesn’t destroy that completely. *1/2

 

That was a pretty good match--when Rico and Jericho were in there. Shame that Rico's ring work has generally been very bland, but he can do a great job when he's in the ring with someone like Jericho, though.

 

Damn…has anyone else noticed the INSANE amount of video game commercials tonight? Seriously, there have been about 3 or 4 video game commercials in a row during each commercial break.

 

Does Squeenix really think a significant amount of target consumers watch Raw? I'd think not.

 

Although in most cases, it makes sense.

 

This was a solid match between the two men as Christian actually worked a match without going for ONE chinlock or resthold. The psychology of going for the ribs was done well on Hardy’s part and Christian sold it very well. The finish was cheap, of course, but what else do you expect with two heels in the ring? **

 

It's Molly on Raw, hurting Lita, so I'm all for it.

 

The actual match didn't click with me as much as it did you, but I guess because I was expecting better. If they don't feud now, that kinda sucks, because I was looking forward to the mic work.

 

Booker T vs. Mark Henry. (There SHOULD be some sort of stip, since they’ve faced each other in a normal and street fight match so far)

 

Yeah, but what sort of stip/gimmick would actually make sense? I'd expect something like a Cage match, though, with Henry exiting via the door.

 

Some people on the forums called it from the start and I’m disappointed that they were right. This could have gone a hell of a lot farther only for the “master plan” it to be revealed on a short segment on Raw. Not only that, but while the fans were DIGGING the prospect of Jericho as a babyface, it was all just to put Y2J over as a heel some more, which just pisses off the fans in a bad way. This was by far, the most intriguing angle that Raw has had in a long time and I’m sad to see it end this way, although the inevitable confrontations between Jericho & Trish and Christian & Lita will be interesting.

 

Mixed feelings on that. Face Jericho seriously freakin' sucks, but it'd have been fresh.

 

Our prophet Anglesault expects Angle/Edge-level comedy revenge next week. Possibly Asscream makes it's big return in some form.

 

I personally will expect a large, rubber, phallic object a la Me, Myself, and Irene.

 

I need a new set of siblings. Now my brother is dancing to the Final Fantasy X-2 commercial. Lord help me.

 

KILL HIM!!

 

Well, at least he isn't dressed like Yuna. Yet.

 

If so, THEN kill him.

 

Triple H is conspicuous by his absence during the intro, which means he’ll most likely factor into the finish.

 

BZZZT!!

 

I think you're off by a week, though.

 

Cena’s 3rd YJStinger commercial is shown next and it’s definitely the weakest as he rhymes the same word at the end of his rhymes several times. His flow and delivery was quicker though.

 

"Man" rhyming with "man"--it's brilliant!~

 

Anyway, Dames, what do you think of the Batista/HBK match? I think it will be surprisingly good. Maybe ***, although I think they'll still keep pushing Orton, although Batista seems much more impressive these days.

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No feedback for my feedback? Pshaw!

Sorry, I haven't been online in a bit.

 

I recognized the continuity when Bischoff mentioned Foley and Kane's history the first time over, but when actually reviewing the show (skimming through the tape the second time to flesh out my thoughts), I forgot.

 

Dames

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Repeat: Anyway, Dames, what do you think of the Batista/HBK match? I think it will be surprisingly good. Maybe ***, although I think they'll still keep pushing Orton, although Batista seems much more impressive these days.

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Sorry about that Andrew. There was so much feedback in there (which I FUCKING APPRECIATE, thank you) that I forgot to answer the question.

 

I think HBK can pull a *** out of Batista with no problem. People forget that he got a couple of passable to great matches out of Sid of all people. I'd say Batista is a better worker than Sid and that should amount for something, even if HBK isn't the same worker he used to be in '96.

 

Dames

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Thanks. I figure expect Batista to be better than Sid or Nash but don't expect Shawn to be in top form all the time, and likely expectations will be met or exceeded. It's worth paying attention to that Shawn seemed to be friends with both those guys, so they probably worked and planned out their matches together.

 

How exactly you think the match will be play out is what I was asking, mainly, too. I'd expect Batista to use a lot of power moves he may never have gotten to use up until now on Shawn, and likely Shawn bumping like a mofo for him. Shawn with the occasional big, hot comebacks. I'm hoping that could even possibly get some good countering sequences in there--am I expecting too much, though? Batista's got some good, stiff-loving moves and should be able to keep a rather quick pace going when he's on offense (none of that constant punching/clotheslining/resting crap he was doing before). He'll likely be rather fired up to be in the ring with Shawn and will probably be trying to bust some good stuff out to make the match memorable.

 

The question of the finish/winner though--I'm not too sure about that. Batista's been booked strongly so far in their feud, though.

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I wouldn't be surprised with Batista getting the win at Armaggedon, extending the feud until possibly the Royal Rumble (or a Raw prior to it) with Michaels going over. Michaels tends to always be a big deal going into the Rumble match.

 

Yes, I remember he was the first eliminated last year, but he WAS a focal point going in.

 

Dames

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I wouldn't be surprised with Batista getting the win at Armaggedon, extending the feud until possibly the Royal Rumble (or a Raw prior to it) with Michaels going over.  Michaels tends to always be a big deal going into the Rumble match. 

 

Yes, I remember he was the first eliminated last year, but he WAS a focal point going in. 

 

Dames

I'd personally be surprised. This feud confused me at first, because it was started on what basis? That they were on opposite sides in the Survivor Series match? Batista didn't even eliminate him, but it seemed like "we need a feud for Shawn. What heels are available? Jericho--busy with love angle thing. Orton--been done. HHH is feuding with Goldberg and Kane. Ah--Batista!" Of course, last week gave HBK good reason to be pissed, but Jericho did blindside him (mistakenly not realizing Shawn didn't hit him on purpose) and nothing was made of that. Shawn said nothing to Jericho, Jericho said nothing about it. It was dropped like that. That kinda kills me because they still hate each other, you have a good way to extend what was a great feud, and you completely ignore it.

 

Sure, Batista/HBK will likely be decent, but it sure as hell isn't Jericho/HBK. If you're not going to do it now, when would you?

 

Although, if they end up with Shawn defending Trish's honor and this feud leads towards a Rumble match, so be it, but I see little excuse for Jericho to have nothing to do when he's completely healthy and consistently one of the most entertaining parts of the show.

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While you might be right about Batista just being thrown out there as an opponent for Shawn, he's been getting decent reactions and rumor has it that WWE is high on him, so I wouldn't put it past them to have him go over Michaels on PPV and job on the TV rematch.

 

Dames

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While you might be right about Batista just being thrown out there as an opponent for Shawn, he's been getting decent reactions and rumor has it that WWE is high on him, so I wouldn't put it past them to have him go over Michaels on PPV and job on the TV rematch.

 

Dames

Yeah, I suppose, but using the feud with Orton as a precedent, you gotta wonder. For Batista's character, nothing else other than a clear-cut, clean, dominating win will do. If it's a cheap win, Batista looks like a wimp and you somewhat hurt his momentum and character.

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