The 2003 Smark Awards~!

[Guest RoyalBlue]

Ehh, unless Kinetic writes it up like he did last year's awards, it won't be nearly as good.

Has anyone got a link to that thread?

You couldn't be lurking that long, could ya?

Who can tell?

[Art Sandusky 0]

The previous awards show was on the main site, not the forums.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Here it is:

 

http://thesmartmarks.com/artman/publish/ar...ticle_548.shtml

[Art Sandusky 0]

So many of those jokes are going to go over sooooo many heads (ie. people who haven't been around here too long).

[justsoyouknow 0]

Hmmm...I never read that last time around. Kinetic really is a funny motherfucker. It's a shame that he's decided to post as Incandenza though.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Aww, man. I didn't expect nothin like this. I ain't got a speech prepared or nothin. I figure I should thank my ma, since she bailed me out so I could attend this bitchin' shindig. I wanna thank Wanda, the big chick from up to the Wal-Mart, for not pressin' the issue with that baby. I figure it probly ain't mine anyway, on account of it cryin' whenever I crank up some Maiden. Plus, I really don't wanna be takin' no paternity test or nothin. The feds are on my ass, ya know? Lotta people tryin to nail Metal Ed on somethin and I damn sure don't need to be depositin no fluids fer examination. I guess I wanna thank y'all, too. Before this year, I woulda been at home drinkin' Pabst's and shit...crankin some Slayer on my Rock Box, shootin' squirrels, walkin' round in my underwear. Now look at me! Drinkin' goddamn foreign beer out of a green bottle! Wearin' a tuxedo and shit. Y'all did this for me. Y'all made me a big-time, sophisticated type. But there's one dude here tonight that ain't gettin shit from Metal Ed. Goodhelmet, I know you're here. You cut me off on the way here tonight...I sawed ya! You made me spill my beer! I don't appreciate that shit. You gonna be sittin around one day, listenin to the Beatles and thinkin "I bet my skull ain't never gonna be cracked." Then you'll hear "Carry On, Our Wayward Son" in the distance but won't think nothin of it. You'll be thinkin about associating words and your thesis and shit. That's when it'll happen. You'll look off in the distance and see a beautiful mullet fleeing the scene. You'll reach up, touch your head and yell, "My skull! It's been cracked!" And then you'll know that you shouldn't never have fucked with Metal Ed. Thanks.

 

BEST. ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. EVER.

[Adam 0]

I agree, that was fuckin gold.

 

So who is hosting this years awards show?

[justsoyouknow 0]

Well, he has to be colored, because awards shows have to have that "urban" flare them.

[Guest Just J]

All kidding aside, I am a lock for most improved.

[justsoyouknow 0]

Alright, I've been thinking about this, and I've come to a conclusion.

 

For the awards show this year, we need someone that isn't afraid to speak their mind...someone that is controversial, yet hysterical all at the same time. They have to be black, too...just because.

 

That's right.

 

CJ.

[Guest HungryJack]

I concur. Free CJ.

[Mik 0]

Just thought I'd bump in to say that I've already been called the worst poster on this forum, by Chave, so let's keep up that tradition and vote for me.

 

Because I am completely apathetic to this whole process, yet feel the need to say something nonetheless because I feel like I am being forgotten.

[Guest RoyalBlue]

I'm making a late run for best rookie.

[Adam 0]

No, Chave is getting best rookie. Or me.

[Steviekick 0]

I should win what of the ghetto pre-show awards, like for lighting design or something.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I'm making a late run for best rookie.

You and the rets of your identities will get acknowledged accordingly.

[Adam 0]

You still think he's Eagan, dont you.

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

No, Chave is getting best rookie. Or me.

Ahem!

[Adam 0]

No, Chave is getting best rookie.  Or me.

Ahem!

Or Piss.

[spiny norman 0]

Or Rico.

[Guest RoyalBlue]

I'm making a late run for best rookie.

You and the rets of your identities will get acknowledged accordingly.

If only you knew who I really was Banky...

[spiny norman 0]

I am your father.

 

The last person who went around saying "You have no idea who I am" turned out to be Eagan (and everyone had an idea it was him). Also, the Mystery Man gimmick does eventually wear thin so you should reinvent yourself and have an unmasking or something soon so as to retain interest.

[Guest RoyalBlue]

That's assuming I really am someone who's posted on this board. Maybe I'm from WDI or UGS. Hell, maybe I'm just a new poster who's throwing people off the scent to keep them from calling him/her a PBP.

 

Whatever, I'm here to stay until I do something banworthy.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

you'llnever believe who's winning so far for Hall of fame

[Damaramu 0]

you'llnever believe who's winning so far for Hall of fame

You.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

good geuss

[Guest GeorgeCostanza]

Smark of the year (best poster):

Smuck of the year (worst poster):

Rookie of the year (best new poster):

Best poster feud of the year:

Best Gimmick poster of the year:

Worst Gimmick Poster of the year:

The Xkiller of the year (Best Troll):

Worst Troll:

Poster Who Most Deserved to be banned:

Poster who least deserved to be banned:

Most Popular poster:

Least Popular Poster:

Funniest Poster:

Best Poster Swerve:

Most Improved Poster of the year:

Smartest Poster:

Biggest Post Whore:

Best Mod of the year:

The Smark Hall of Fame (Legendary poster who deserves recognition):

Well, a lot of people consider me small and prestigious.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

*Doesn't know who you are*

[Dr. Tom 0]

I'll host the awards show. Unless a better host can be found, which means I'll be hosting the awards show.

[Slayer 0]

<doesn't know who you are>