Clusterfuck Losing Matches

[Coffin Surfer 0]

If it's too much to ask, I really wouldn't mind knowing the determing factors in the deciding process.

 

 

 

 

By the time the Main Event rolls round, it’s amazing that the Gund Arena is still standing. Clusterfuck has been here, and it’s certainty left it’s mark. The ring looks worn down and used up, while the fans appear to be for the most part, extremely exhausted. Still this is the SWF’s most popular PPV event of the year, and there’s still enough mystical aura left floating in the building to make the final match of the evening special.

 

Comet: Wow, we are several minutes removed from Cluster...fudge 2004, and I’m still speechless.

 

Riley: I know I say this every year, but that had to be the best Clusterfuck ever! They just keep get longer, crazier, and bloodier! I still can’t believe who won either, I mean who would have thought that of all tonight’s participant.....

 

Comet: Hush, my trusty side kick. Remember what our producer said about spoilers, the replays need a highbuy rate too.

 

Riley: Hey, did you just call me your sidekick? What the hell’s a matter with you, I told you to never...

 

Signaling the start of the Main Event, Funyon climbs into the ring, gaining a surprisingly loud ovation from the tried fans who are ready to get this thing over with.

 

Comet: It looks like it’s time for the Main Event, where we will be seeing long time bitter rivals, Danny Williams and Va’aiga square off one more time!

 

Riley: If you thought the Clusterfuck was an orgy of violence, wait to you see these two guys tear into each other. Williams and Va’aiga absolutely loathe each other, and with the World Title on the line, they will no doubt be pulling out all the stops in their quest to become the top dog in the industry!

 

Without warning, the house lights go off, drenching the arena the blackest of darkness! All eyes turn to the locker room entrance, which is eerily producing the only illumination to be found in the building. Standing tall in the door way, emerges the large creepy silhouette of a hooded figure.

 

“WHAT’S MY NAME?!”

 

Red strobe lights start flashing out of nowhere, while the ghostly apparition leaves the locker room, and glides down the entrance ramp. Keeping a good distance, a freshly showered John Duran follows the lead of the hooded phantom, talking trash with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring. Following the All Japan tradition, Funyon holds the introductions, waiting until both men are in the ring before he can began. The ancient incomprehensible New Zealand war chant humming out of the PA system creates an unsettling mood, scaring the bejezus out of small children and the elderly. Now in the ring, the robed figure tosses back his hood, revealing himself to be the hated Va’aiga! Leaning over the ropes, the scary looking Maori flicks his tongue out at the crowd, earning himself some “boos”.

 

Riley: After months of being stuck under Williams’ shadow, Va’aiga will finally have his day in the sun, and not only capture the SWF World Title, but take it from the man he once called, “leader”.

 

Comet: It’s hard to believe that it was just last summer that Va’aiga was a loyal member of the Unholy Trinity, fighting alongside Danny Williams in their quest to reach the top of the mountain. However, nothing lasts forever, and that includes friendships.

 

Riley: The worse enemies are always friends that used to be.

 

Comet: Acting almost irrational, Va’aiga viciously assaulted his former tag partner, Dace Night, to perhaps prove that he’s the better man in his own sick little mind. After nearly ending Dace’s career with his deadly new move, the Va’aiga Stinger, the mad man from Maori called out his former leader, demanding to face him in combat!

 

Riley: And we all know what happened then.

 

Comet: Williams won the first match by d.q., but it was obvious that he was overmatched by the bigger, stronger, and far more motivated Va’aiga. In their second meeting, Va’aiga defeated Williams in dominating fashion.

 

Riley: A defeat that was so embarrassing that Williams had to leave the federation for several months, probably hoping that we’d forget it after happened.

 

Comet: But the story doesn’t end there, my fair citizens legally watching at home, not by a long shot. This past month, Williams returned with a vengeance. After scoring an impressive victory over William Hearford, citizen Williams realized his dream and defeated the Judge’s former tag partner, Super Villain Ejiro Fasaki, for the SWF World Heavyweight Title!

 

Riley: Which brings us to tonight. Right here, live on PPV, Williams will be defending the World Title against a man who in two meetings, he couldn’t defeat. So if you ask me, it’s very likely we may see the crowning of a New Champion.

 

Comet: Indeed, Va’aiga will prove to be the biggest threat to Williams’ Title reign. yet. Unlike Ejiro, Williams has never proven that he’s capable of defeating Va’aiga.

 

Suddenly, the dancing melodies of In Flames comes sweeping over the loud speakers. Still having some fire left in em, the crowd erupts with a volcanic explosion of cheers, welcoming the World Champion in true heroic fashion! Like a bat out of hell, Williams comes sprinting out of the locker room in a blur, his broken down number two man, Dace Night, faintly jogging behind him, unable to keep up! Not staying on his side of the ring, Va’aiga beckons Danny to bring it on! Without stopping, Danny unbuckles his title, and slings it aside! Diving head first into the ring, Williams tries to hustle to his feet, but Va’aiga cuts him off with some stomps!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Battling his way through Va’aiga’s crushing stomps, Williams grabs the big man by his legs, and tackles him like a crazed linebacker! Mounting the challenger’s chest, Williams viciously hammers Va’aiga’s face with clubbing forearms, driving the crowd crazy!

 

Comet: And this match is off to a fast and furious start!

 

Riley: You can feel the hate from all the way over here!

 

Refusing to hold on to their streamers any more, the crowd baths the ring in shiny colored paper, drenching the battling superstars! Unable to do his job on this occasion, Funyon dives out of the ring, seeking cover. Meanwhile, Soapdish starts scooping up streamers by the handful, doing his best the clear the ring of litter.

 

Riley: Well, it looks like the traditional All Japan opening was a total disaster.

 

Comet: It’s the thought that counts.

 

Hoping to escape this ass kicking, the Maori monster primitively shoves Williams off! The battered Maori Badass scrambles to his feet, but Williams is on him like flies on garbage! With a series of bruising elbows, Williams drives Va’aiga into the ropes, and sends him for the ride! Hanging on to the Champion’s arm, the challenger reverses the Irish whip, sending Williams flying across the ring against his will! Rebounding off the ropes, Williams runs into the extended boot of the Maori Badass! The big boot stops Danny dead in his tracks, leaving him to wobble in place like a human punching bag! Dropping back into the ropes, Va’aiga plows forward, swinging up his leg for a running high kick!

 

Riley: Here’s the Yakuza Kick!

 

Not as clueless as the big Maori expected, Williams is able to get up his hands, catching the boot that was meant for his face!

 

Crack!

 

Countering, Danny rocks Va’aiga with a big elbow smash!

 

Comet: Citizen Williams was ready for that combo!

 

Dazed, the enormous challenger has to stagger back into a corner in order to stay on his feet! After taking all but a second to shake off the effects of the big boot, Williams blindly lunges in at his cornered foe! Leaping into the air, Williams brutally rams his forearm into the challenger’s jaw!

 

CRACK!

 

Actually showing pain, Va’aiga slumps down in the corner, holding his jaw as if he has a tooth ache. Letting out a grunt of effort, Williams whips the hulking challenger into the cross corner with authority!

 

Boom!

 

The Maori Badass slams into the turnbuckles so hard that it nearly knocks the ring off it’s foundation! Bolting across the ring, Williams dives at Va’aiga for another Jumping Elbow, but nobodies home! Crashing gut first into the top turnbuckle, Danny flips overs the ropes, and splatters on the floor below! The big bump obviously gets a big reaction from the crowd.

 

Comet: Oh my!

 

Riley: There’s a lot more to Va’aiga’s game than raw power, and a hard head. Unlike a lot of big lugs in this league, he’s actually got a brain too!

 

Not showing any ill effects from Danny’s early offense, Va’aiga cracks a big smile as he calmly steps out on to the ring apron. Diving off the ring apron, Va’aiga soars at the unsuspecting Champion like a human torpedo!

 

BLAM!

 

The mad man from Maori slams into Williams with a stunning, suicidal Shoulderblock! Though they really hate Va’aiga, the impressed fans can’t help but “ah” with amazement.

 

Riley: Wow, I haven’t seen Va’aiga do that before!

 

Comet: Yes, Va’aiga really isn’t known for super hero like high flying. Perhaps he feel some calculated risk taking is necessary if he wants to walk away with the title.

 

Climbing to his feet, Va’aiga finds the verbal front roll fans leaning over the guardrail, shouting unflattering curses at him. Feeling that these screaming fanatics are too close comfort, Va’aiga takes a wild swing in their direction, gracing their noses. Acting as a quasi-security guard, Duran barks at the fans, demanding that they stay the hell out of the way.

 

Comet: That isn’t very nice.

 

Riley: Neither are those smart ass fans, they were shouting things that would make a sailor blush!

 

With his tongue eagerly hanging out, Va’aiga helps the crushed World Champion to his feet, and casually rolls him into the ring. Va’aiga attempts to follow Danny in, but when he peeks his head over the bottom rope, the World Champion suddenly springs to life! Grabbing Va’aiga by his hair, Williams starts relentlessly slamming his knee into the side of the challenger’s head! Getting a head ache, Va’aiga drops down to the floor, and clumsily staggers back into the guardrail. Wounded but motivated, Williams quickly spring boards over the top rope, bulleting head first, straight down into Va’aiga,...

 

CRACK!

 

slamming a nasty forearm directly into his face! The dangerous dive earns Williams a monestrous ovation!

 

Comet: ELBOW PESCADO!

 

Riley: Talk about a suicide dive, if Danny was off by only a couple of inches he would have went face first into the floor!

 

Comet: The risk appeared to have paid off as citizen Williams has put Va’aiga down for the first time tonight!

 

Eagerly jumping to his feet, Danny guides the punch drunk challenger to a vertical base. Williams attempts to sling Va’aiga up on the ring apron, but the challenger refuses to cooperate! Swatting Danny’s hands off, Va’aiga wildly swings lefts and rights at the Champion’s head!

 

Ka-Pow! Ka-Pow! Ka-Pow!

 

Out on his feet, Williams is helpless to resist as the Maori Badass whips him into the guardrail with unnerving force!

 

Clank!

 

Williams bounces off the steel like a tennis ball, propelling back at Va’aiga with a vengeance! Hooking the big man around his neck, Williams drops to the floor, tearing Va’aiga’s head off with nasty as hell Neckbreaker Drop! The crowd is going wild, totally eating up the unpredictable action! Both men are down, and Soapdish is left with no other option, but to start the ten count.

 

Riley: I don’t understand how Williams can absorb a collision with the guardrail like that, it’s not human?

 

Comet: Haven’t you ever heard of adrenaline?

 

Busted up from Va’aiga’s closed fists, Williams takes his time in climbing to his feet. Holding his back a like an old man in need of a walker, Williams gingerly makes his way back inside the ring, leaving Va’aiga laid out on the floor. Soapdish starts to count the challenger out, but it isn’t long before Va’aiga starts to stir. Treating the deadly Neckbreaer Drop as a mere inconvenience, Va’aiga pops his neck a few times, and hops up on the ring apron as if nothing happened!

 

Ka-blam!

 

Va’aiga goes flying off the ring apron, courtesy of a nifty drop kick!

 

Clang!

 

The Maori Badass collides into the guardrail again, but it only makes him angrier! Snarling like a savage beast, Va’aiga dives into the ring, hungry for blood!

 

Riley: I don’t think I would throw anybody into the guardrail any more tonight, it’s like that darn energy ball from Pac Man, it only makes the other guy stronger!

 

Comet: The hatred these men have for each other is so intense that not even the unforgiven pain of solid steel can hold em at bay!

 

Snatching Va’aiga by his hair as he tries to get up, Williams slams a barrage of knees into his temple! Instead of cowering in pain, Va’aiga rises up and roars! Repeating the process, Williams pulls Va’aiga’s head back down, and starts with the kneeing again! Annoyed, Va’aiga grabs Danny’s leg, and forcibly pushes him to the mat! Popping right back up, Williams assaults Va’agia with a flurry of forearms! Grabbing a handful of hair, Va’aiga throws Williams to the mat with bad intentions! Danny hits the mat so hard that he rolls all the way through, ending up on his stomach. Stunned from being knocked around so much, Williams groggily stands up...

 

Blam!

 

only to get flattened by a sickening shoulder block! Williams finally stays on the mat, and the noisy crowd settles down. Va’aiga takes a second to rub the stinging pain in his head away, before peeling the squished Champion off the mat. Scooping Williams up like a baby, Va’aiga plants the Champion with a thunderous body slam! The Maori Badass follows that up with a snapping elbow drop, which plunges deep into Danny’s chest! Hooking Danny’s leg, Va’aiga goes for the first pin attempt of the night!

 

One!

 

 

Williams kicks out with authority, sending Va’aiga the message that this match is far, far, far from over. Danny tires to get up, but the challenger rolls him over on his stomach, and smothers him with a tight front facelock! Not used to so much action, Va’aiga is left pouring sweat, while breathing extremely hard.

 

Comet: It looks like Va’aiga is gonna finally slow things down, and give himself a breather.

 

Riley: Yeah, the fast tempo of this match was clearly in Danny’s favor, so he’s the doing the smart thing here.

 

Gasping for air, Williams fights his way to a vertical base, and thanks to his low center of gravity, manages to back Va’agia into a corner. Showing no fear of the much larger men he’s in charge of, Soapdish steps in, and orders the break. Va’aiga cautiously releases Danny, who in turn drives a knee into his gut! Not prepared for such a heavy blow to the abdomen, Va’aiga gets the wind knocked out of him. A bit drained, Williams takes a second to rest, before driving another knee into Va’aiga’s bread basket, doubling him over! Linking his hands around the back of Va’aiga’s neck, Williams liquefies his face with a brutal jumping knee! Va’aiga slides down to the second turnbuckle in a daze, while Danny staggers off, and collapses.

 

Comet: Williams, taking a page from Annie Eclectic’s book, and it looks like it may have done some serious damage to the nearly unstoppable monster that is Va’aiga.

 

Riley: I got to admit that Danny is doing a way better job of going toe to toe with Va’aiga than I originally thought he would.

 

Comet: Danny may not be as big and strong as Va’aiga, but what he lacks in size, he makes up for toughness and heart. Not to mention he’s incredibly skilled in the art of fisticuffs.

 

Not staying down for long, Va’aiga begins to rise out of the corner, when Williams comes a rushing! Taking off like Michael Jordan at the free throw line, Williams obliterates Va’aiga with a Jumping Knee that more than makes contact!

 

“Ooooooooooooooooooh!”, moans the squeamish fans!

 

Despite having his brains scrambled, Va’aiga still doesn’t go down, but that may or may not be due to the fact that he’s propped up in the corner like a scarecrow. Taking advantage of Va’aiga’s stunned state of awareness, Williams hastily positions him for a Vertical Sulpex. Walking the challenger out of the corner, Danny tugs on his tights, straining to get all 300 pounds of his big fat Maori ass in the air!

 

Riley: Williams has got to be kidding?

 

Comet: Citizen Williams has shown incredible strength in the past, so much in fact that Suplexing someone as big as Va’aiga really isn’t that out of the question.

 

Getting his wits back, Va’agia grabs Danny by his tights, and without any trouble whatsoever, lifts him into the sky! Resisting, Williams jumps out of Va’aiga’s clutches, landing directly behind him! Reaching up on his tippy toes, Williams wraps his meat hooks around Va’aiga’s head, slapping on the feared Sleeperhold! As if Danny was an insignificant fly, Va’agia drops to his knees, casually slinging the World Champion off his back with an arm drag! Williams only makes it up to one knee, when Va’aiga catches him under the chin with a neck snapping Yakuza Kick!

 

 

BLAM!

 

With spit spewing from his mouth like a fountain, Williams drops back to the mat, where Va’aiga quickly blankets him for the pin.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

Danny kicks out from underneath Va’aiga, and quickly sits up! Kneeling behind Williams, Va’aiga pins the Champion’s left arm behind his knee, and It becomes quite apparent however, that a submission isn’t on the Maori’s mind, when he tauntingly raises the first of his free arm high into the air.

 

“What’s my name, Danny!”, screams the deranged Maori!

 

Defenseless, Williams helplessly squirms around, unable to escape the looming horror that is soon to befall on him! Pulling Danny’s hair back to hold his head still, the sadistic Maori ruthlessly slams his fist down into the Champion’s face! The sound of closed fist on cheek bone assures the fans that the strike not only made direct connect with Williams’ face, it was pretty damn hard too.

 

Comet: Holy crap! Pardon my french my fair citizens, but this is the most brutal thing I’ve ever witnessed in all my years on this lovely planet!

 

Riley: This is great stuff, Comet! When it comes to mutilating his opponents that Va’agia can get awfully creative.

 

Once again, Va’agia raises his arm to the heavens only to send it crashing back down on Danny’s poor, fragile face!

 

Totally out of his mind, Va’agia continues to scream,”Say it, say my damn name!”

 

The crowd is mortified, unable to comprehend how Williams can safely take shots that stiff on his mug! For the third and final time, the Maori Badass cruelly shatters Williams’ face with a hammering blow! Dace turns away, unable to stomach the sight of his leader, his friend getting pounded like that. Releasing his brutalized foe, Va’aiga casually blankets him for the pin.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

Despite his face being turned into hamburger meat, Williams still won’t stay down for anything more than a two count! Sitting Danny up, the Maori Badass draws back his big, heavy boot, and sadistically punts Williams in the back!

 

Smaaack!

 

The sound of whelping flesh echoes through the rafters, drawing a collective “oh” from the queasy crowd! Dace nearly walks out, however he remains strong, and stays at ring side. Meanwhile, Duran is eating it up, laughing like a mad man as his stable leader demolishes the World Champion.

 

Riley: Va’aiga may not be a Cowboy, but he can kick shit like one!

 

Comet: Before he became a good doer, Williams was infamous for his villainous Cowboy Kicks.

 

Riley: Well, like the old saying goes, “What comes around, goes around.”

 

In undying anguish, Williams rolls towards the ropes, trying to create as much distance between himself, and the big, scary Maori dude. Stalking Williams, Va’aiga jumps up on the second rope, and starts wildly bouncing up and down on it. To the horror of the repulsed onlookers, the Maori Badass gets one more good bounce, before leaping high into the air, coming down on top of Danny with a super sick Double Stomp!

 

“Doooooooohohoho!”grunts a seemingly legit hurt Danny Williams, as he rolls underneath the bottom rope, and free falls down to the floor.

 

Stepping over the top rope, Va’aiga jumps off the ring apron, plunging his boots into Danny’s abdomen yet again! Curling up in the fetal position, the World Champion coughs and gags like he’s going to hurl!

 

Comet: Merciful heavens, Williams is taking an unbelievable amount of punishment.

 

Riley: Va’aiga never uses the Double Stomp, but he’s just busted out two of those bad boys in his quest to inflict as much pain on the World Champion as possible.

 

To the bewilderment of the wide eyed spectators, the powerful Maori military presses all 250 pounds of the World Champion high over his head! Showing off his unearthly power, Va’aiga stalls, holding Danny up there for what seems like all day. Sitting at a ring side table near the action, the distinguished members of the press realize that Va’agia has his eye on their table. Gathering their papers as quicky as they can, the wrestling journalists get up, and haul ass out of the way! Lingering until he’s purple faced and trembling, the Maori monster finally tosses Williams straight up into the air, letting him splatter on top of a hard, thick, wooden table!

 

THWACK!

 

The more sensitive members of the crowd rise out of their chairs, and cover their mouths in shock.

 

Comet: Not since Frost/Flesher have I seen a match as brutal as this!

 

Riley: Except Va’aiga doesn’t need no window pains or horses to punish his opponents, he’s doing a damn fine job of killing Williams without the use of any weapons.

 

Feeling that he’s done all he can at the moment, Va’aiga enters the ring to a chorus of boos. The negativity only increases when the celebrating Moari Badass dishes out a “BOOYAH!” to the angry fans! Meanwhile, Williams is a total mess as he sloppily slides off the table, and lands in a heap on the floor.

 

Riley: It’s a good there’s a twenty count, otherwise Danny would be counted out by now.

 

Standing close, Dace resists the temptation to help Williams, knowing that the proud World Champion will refuse it anyway. The side of Williams’ face is puffy and red, an obvious result of Va’aiga’s clubbing fists. Clutching his stomach with one hand, Williams gingerly climbs up on the ring apron, wincing with every breath he takes in. Reaching over the ropes, the challenger pulls Williams up by his hair.

 

 

Crack!

 

Swiping Va’aiga’s paws off, Williams bashes his jaw with an unexpected elbow smash! Absorbing the blow, the Maori Badass fires back with a fat head BUTT! Danny teeters on the edge of apron, but the World Champion regains his balance, and scores with another elbow! Va’aiga feels this one, but the pain is only temporarily, as he slams his hard cranium into Williams’ busted face a second time! Hanging on to the ropes, Williams leans back as far as he possible can, using the elastic chord to launch himself into his attacker!

 

CRAAACK!

 

The super elbow smash knocks a gigantic sweat cloud off Va’aiga’s jaw line, and once again the crowd is reminded of the match’s uber stiffness!

 

Comet: Citizen Williams, cleverly using his environment to his advantage!

 

While the challenger is sent reeling to the center of the ring, Williams groggily hurries to the nearest corner, struggling to regain his composure on short notice. Moving as fast as he can in his weakened state, Williams ruggedly climbs up the turnbuckles, brining the capacity crowd to their feet! More alert than Williams hoped he would be, the Maori Badass rushes to the scene, catching the Champion in mid climb! Stunning his victim with a cracking right hook, Va’aiga tosses Williams off the top turnbuckle with a gigantic slam! Soaring through the air like superman, Williams lands a mile away with a ring rattling boom!

 

Riley: Williams is getting desperate, he would have never took a stupid risk like that if he wasn’t scared.

 

Comet: Excellent observation, side kick!

 

Riley: Quit calling me that!

 

Pain is surging through every ounce of Williams’ body as he sluggishly crawls his way to a nearby corner, while Va’aiga quietly stalks him. After helping Danny to his feet, Va’aiga launches him out of the corner with an Irish whip! Moving so fast that he can’t turn in time, Williams crashes chest first into the turnbuckles at an unforgiving speed!

 

Blam!

 

Clutching his crushed chest cavity, Williams awkwardly stumbles backwards, walking right into the Maori Badass’s clutches! Tucking the defenseless Champion’s head down in an inverted facelock, Va’aiga drops back, slamming the back of Williams’ dome into the mat! Keeping the inverted facelock applied, the Maori vices his tree trunk like legs around Danny’s torso, trapping him in an unbreakable body scissors!

 

Comet: PACIFIC STRETCH!

 

Riley: Many men have fallen to this move, I just can’t remember any of their names at the moment, but surely Williams’ name will be amongst them after tonight.

 

Losing air, Williams wildly flails his limps about in search of the ropes, the ref, anything that can get him out of the damn hold! Sensing the urgency in Williams’ actions, the fans rise out of their chairs, suspecting that he may be in big trouble. Doing his best Gene Simmons impersonation, Va’aiga thrashes his tongue all over the place, straining to bleed Danny of all his precious energy! Showing their support for the ailing Champion, the crowd begins to loudly chant....

 

“DAN-E! DAN-E! DAN-E!”

 

Dace keeps the crowd in rhythm by smacking his hands on the ring apron like a cheerleader. Though he’s fading fast, Williams courageously battles on, using what strength he has left to roll his way towards the ropes. Before finding their seats, the fans give a big ovation. Not desperate enough to keep the hold applied for the three count, the Maori Badass releases the nearly comatose Champion, and climbs to his feet with a sigh. Glassy eyed and drowsy, Williams lazily lays on his side like a bum in a gutter, coughing and gagging as he fills his lungs back up with oxygen. Pissed that Danny didn’t give up, Va’aiga growls as he angrily punts his victim’s exposed back!

 

Smack! Smack! Smack!

 

The sound of leather on flesh echoes through the Gund Arena like gun fire! Clearly disgusted, all the fans can do is shake their heads, and mutter,”damn.” Va’aiga’s boot leaves blood red marks on Danny’s back, which will no doubt turn into nasty bruises before the night is over. Helping Williams to his feet, the Maori monster snap mares the Champion off the ropes, and slaps on another inverted facelock!

 

Comet: He’s going for it again!

 

Riley: If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

 

Knowing that he can’t survive another Dragon Sleeper, Williams yanks Va’aiga’s head down by his hair, and slams some knees into the top of skull! After taking several of these brain scrambling shots, Va’aiga finally releases Williams, who rolls to the ropes in a blur. It takes a couple of hard blinks for the Maori’s vision to clear up, so that he can go after the wounded Champion. Using the ropes for support, Williams sluggishly pulls himself to a vertical base. However, the challenger is already on top of him. Pounding Danny’s back with some heavy, clubbing fists, Va’aiga takes him by the wrist, and whips him off the ropes! The towering challenger patiently awaits Williams arrival, but the Champion doesn’t rebound off the ropes as he had planned! Using cat like agility, Williams leaps up to the second rope, and gracefully sling shots back at Va’agia!

 

CRAAACK!

 

Twisting his body around in mid flight, Williams levels the big Maori with a beautiful Jumping Elbow Smash! Both men are down, and the Gund Arena comes alive with the sound of cheering!

 

Comet: What a fantastic move from the athletic World Champion!

 

Riley: So far those lucky dives are the only moves that Danny has been able to actually hurt Va’aiga with.

 

Rolling out on to the ring apron, a very groggy Danny Williams hustles his way up the turnbuckles, while Va’aiga sits on the mat in a stupor. Drowsy from the Dragon Sleeper, Williams clumsily misses a step and almost falls, however he regains his footing and continues his journey. A panic erupts in the audience as Va’aiga starts to get up, many members of the crowd are actually standing and screaming at Williams, insisting that he hurry up.

 

Riley: Williams is making a big mistake in trying a high risk now.

 

Comet: He doesn’t have a choice, like you said, those high flying dives are presently the only moves that he can seem to be able to hurt Va’aiga with.

 

With Va’agia marching towards him, Williams aborts his original plan, and gets into a defensive position on the top turnbuckle turnbuckle. Stepping up on the second rope, Va’aiga swings a right hand up at Danny’s head...that is blocked! Answering back, Williams drives some hard hitting forearms down into Va’aiga’s skull! Unable to withstand the barrage of elbows, the big man free falls back to the mat with a loud boom! Finally, Danny triumphantly rises to his full height, carefully balancing himself on the top rope. Camera flashes illuminate the ring as Williams dives head first at the rising challenger, blasting his jaw with a stunning Diving Elbow!

 

CRAAAACK!

 

The normally unstoppable Maori is down flat on his back, and knowing that he doesn’t have much time to capitalize, Williams hurries his way back out on to the ring apron. The Gund Arena becomes filled with the sound of thousands of screaming fans as Williams ascends the turnbuckles, and stands tall on the top rope! Taking aim, Williams fearlessly leaps high into the air, gliding half away across the ring, before plunging the sharp edge of his elbow into Va’aiga’s throat!

 

Comet: FLYING ELBOW DROOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

 

Va’aiga goes into violent spasms, while Williams quickly secures one of his heavy legs for a hard fought pin attempt! Getting hot, the crowd counts along!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

Va’aiga shoves Williams off, kicking out of the pin with a surprising amount of power, settling the crowd back down! Unable to press his advantage, Danny takes a second to rub his eye, which is continuously swelling to the point that he can barely keep it open. Sitting up, the Maori grabs at his wind pipe, grimacing while he coughs like someone with a sore throat would. Zeroing in on this moment of weakness, Williams puts his own troubles aside, and cranks on a suffocating rear chinlock! Fighting his way to his feet, Va’aiga turns away from Williams, creating enough space to fire some punches at his captor’s mid section!

 

Smack! Smack!

 

Not wanting to get his ribs cracked, Williams releases the chinlock, and brandishes Va’aiga with a couple of elbows!

 

Crack! Crack!

 

Weary from oxygen depravation and the elbows he just took, Va’aiga telegraphs a big punch, allowing Williams to duck behind the challenger, and lock on a Sleeperhold! Jumping up on the big man’s back, Williams locks on a body scissors, and drags him down to the mat! Getting warmer, the fans pop for the respected move that has ended the nights of many wrestlers throughout the federation!

 

Comet: DOUSHIME SLEEPAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

Wide eyed and gagging, Va’aiga frantically rolls his way to the ropes in a matter of seconds!

Releasing his opponent without incident, Williams draws back his big black and red boot, and slams it into Va’aiga’s back as hard as he possibly can!

 

SMAAACK!

 

The kick can be heard for miles, sending shivers down the spines of everyone in attendance.

 

Comet: Citizen Williams, showing Va’aiga the proper way to execute a Cowboy Kick.

 

Riley: Get out of here with that crap! Williams’ kick is nothing but fluff compared to the power of Va’aiga’s.

 

Pushing Va’aiga down on his back, Williams jumps on the second rope, gets a couple of good bounces, and drives a knee down into his throat! Soapdish forces Williams to get off Va’aiga’s neck, and you better believe the challenger uses this opportunity to haul ass to the outside. Sliding down to the floor, the wounded Maori throws himself over the guardrail, gasping for air. Jogging to the far side of the ring, Williams leans into the ropes, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. In anticipation of the inevitable high spot, the Ohio denizens get off their asses, and make some noise. Turning away from the guardrail, Va’agia finds Williams diving out of the ring with a full head of steam!

 

 

CRAAAAAACK!

 

To the roar of the crowd, Williams collides with the monestrous challenger, scoring with his trademark Elbow Suicida! Like a feather in the breeze, Williams lands safely on the floor, while Va’aiga smacks back into the guardrail, and crumbles to his knees. After dusting himself off, Williams forcibly pulls the challenger to his feet, and walks him over to the press table! Once more the journalists, are sent scrambling to a minimum safe distance. Ducking down, Williams attempts to scoop him up, but the 300 pounder lowers his center of gravity, refusing to budge. Not to be discouraged, Williams busts Va’aiga up with some head butts, bringing his resistance to an end. Unleashing a primal growl, Danny scoops his larger opponent off the floor, and slams him across the wooden table in disgusting fashion!

 

“Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh!”

 

Broken in half, Va’aiga slides down to the floor in unbearable anguish, while a fired up Williams enters the ring to a ruckus of an ovation!

 

Comet: Citizen Williams is now paying Va’aiga back for his earlier assault.

 

Riley: I’m sorry, but as much as that hurt, I’m sure it wasn’t nearly as bad as being press slammed on the table.

 

Outraged by this embarrassment, Va’aiga violently turns the table over, while shouting inaudible obscenities in his native tongue. Duran keeps his distance, knowing that it’s not wise to disturb Va’aiga when he’s this pissed off. Clutching his back, the angry Maori tenderly climbs up on the ring apron, only to receive a welcoming elbow smash from the Champion! Infuriated, the short tempered Maori butts heads with the Champion! In retort, Williams pulls Va’aiga’s big head over the top rope, and begins viciously driving elbows into the back of his neck. After this vertebra shattering assault, Williams carefully positions Va’aiga for the Vertical Suplex.

 

Riley: I really don’t know what the hell, Danny thinks he’s gonna accomplish by Suplexing Va’aiga, it’s not like it’s even that threatening of a move.

 

Comet: The bigger they are the harder they fall, Riley.

 

Before Williams can bring him in the ring the hard way, the heavy Maori grapevines his legs around the ropes, making it impossible for him to be lifted off the apron. Learning of this revelation, Williams releases Va’aiga, and jabs some nasty forearms into his jaw! Eagerly setting Va’aiga back up for the Suplex, Williams lets out a scream of effort as he slowly but surely hoists the humongous challenger over the ropes! Free falling back to the ring, Danny unceremoniously dumps the heavy challenger into the ring!

 

Boom!

 

Drained from the strain of lifting a 300 pound man over his head, Williams rests on his back, his stomach rapidly pumping up and down. His left eye blood red, and now almost completely closed, Williams slowly crawls his way over to the laid out Maori, and sits him up. Trapping Va’aiga’s left appendage under his armpit, Williams tightly links his hands around the challenger’s throat for the modified Sleeperhold!

 

Comet: BUFFALO SLEEPAAAAAH! Citizen Williams has used this very hold to put away some of the top names in our sport, such as Ejiro Fasaki, and Michael Craven!

 

Riley: Va’agia will never give up, he’s to crazy too!

 

The fans come to their feet as Williams flagrantly twists Va’aiga’s torso from side to side, working the hold like a crazy mofo! Panting for air, the Maori badass’s long animal like tongue wildly dangles out of his mouth, bringing to mind the image of Jabba the Hutt being strangled in Return of the Jedi! Pounding his feet as if he’s trying to run from the seated position, Va’aiga desperately scoots his way towards the ropes, extending his long arm out as far he can, searching for salvation!

 

Riley: He’s gonna reach the ropes, Comet, I told you he’d never give up!

 

Just when the challenger’s fingers start to grace the ropes, Williams confuses the crowd by releasing the hold. Crushing the Maori’s hope, Danny snap mares him back into the center of the ring, where he immediately reapplies the submission! The crowd gets even higher, raising the volume to ear bleeding levels! Shaking his head up and down, Williams hisses like a xenomorph as he struggles to cut off the blood flow to Va’aiga’s brain! No longer reaching for the ropes, Va’aiga’s free arm begins to lifelessly swing back and forth in the breeze.

 

Comet: HE’S OUT, THE CHALLENGER’S OUT!

 

Riley: Rather than submit to his hated rival, Va’aiga instead passed out in the hold, keeping his pride intact!

 

Feeling the life slip out of the Maori Badass’s body, Williams releases the hold, and goes for the cover! Still standing, the fans screech along with Soapdish’s count.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

.................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THRE-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”,collectively sighs the thousands in attends. Williams shoots a bewildered look at Soapdish, puzzled as to how any life could still remain in the carcass that lies before him. Sitting his brain dead victim back up, a worn out Williams lackadaisically attempts to slap on the Buffalo Sleeper a third time. Not giving the World Champion the chance too, the Maori Badass stretches a boot out across the bottom rope.

 

 

Riley: Va’aiga’s in no man’s land, not only has he survived the Buffalo Sleeper, but he still has enough sense to get to the ropes.

 

Comet: It’s becoming more and more apparent that Va’aiga is perhaps Danny Williams’ kryptonite. Danny just isn’t equipped with the right tools to defeat him, much like how Ejiro couldn’t defeat him.

 

Glistening with sweat, a frustrated Williams jumps to his feet, looking down at Va’aiga with bottled up anger. Danny tauntingly flicks his boot in the Maori’s face, daring him to get up and do something about it. In dying need of a nap, Va’aiga can only sluggishly climb to his knees, prompting the impatient World Champion to jerk him the rest of the way up. Pushing the drowsy challenger into a corner, Danny channels his pinned up rage into a some appallingly stiff elbow smashes! Going into full on berserker mode, Williams relentlessly pounds the challenger into a pulp, beating him down to the mat. Showing no mercy, Danny violently stomps away at Va’aiga’s head while the blood thirsty crowd cheers him on!

 

Comet: Citizen Williams has lost it! All the rage he’s been storing inside himself for months, is finally being vented!

 

Riley: I’ve never seen anybody take the fight to Va’aiga like this!

 

Unable to allow this beat down to continue, Soapdish squeezes his way in-between Williams and Va’aiga, ordering the Champion to cease and desist! Refusing to comply, Danny shoves the scrawny official out of the way, and picks up where he left off. However, Va’aiga is no longer passively sitting on his ass. Trembling with anger, the Maori starts to rise out of the corner, brushing off Danny’s attacks. No longer a house of fire, Williams’ forearms become sloppy and sluggish as he struggle to keep the challenger down.

 

Ka-Pow!

 

Va’aiga manages to work a punch in between Williams’ elbows! Freezing up, Williams momentarily stares off into la la land, as if he forgot what he was doing. Snapping back to reality, Williams goes back to work on Va’aiga!

 

Ka-Pow!

 

The Maori Badass sneaks another punch in, this one buckles Danny’s knees, nearly knocking him off his feet! Stumbling backwards, Williams regains his composure, and lunges back in! Danny continues to wildy fling lose forearms into the Maori’s face, but it’s obvious there isn’t much on them. It isn’t long before Williams’ weak strikes cease to faze Va’agia, who is now snorting like a wild bull!

 

Comet: What matter of beast is this villain!

 

Riley: Williams has thrown everything he has Va’aiga, but the only thing he’s done is pissed him off!

 

Fed up with this bullshit, the Moari Bass ties Williams’ up, and spins him around, so that it is now the Champion who is cornered! Attacking without mercy, Va’aiga unleashes a flurry of right hands upside Danny’s head, pounding the Champion down into the canvas. Displaying the same courtesy that Williams showed him, Va’aiga brutally rubs his boot in Danny’s face, totally disrespecting the Champion! Soapdish gets in the way, and the Maori surprisingly ceases the assault! Screaming like a mad man, Va’aiga wanders to the far side of the ring, celebrating his massacre of the World Champion!

 

“Booooooooooooooooooooooo!”

 

Soapdish inspects Danny carefully, noticing a thick stream of blackish blood trickling out of his ear. Deciding that Williams has had a long enough break, Va’aiga muscles his way into the scene, pulling Soapdish aside. Grabbing Williams by his tights and hair, Va’aiga runs him across the ring, and tosses him through the ropes like a rag doll!

 

CLANK!

 

Flying through the air, Williams slams into the guardrail, scaring the living hell out of the front roll fans!

 

Comet: Things do not look good for the World Champion!

 

Jumping down to the floor, the crazy eyed Maori catches Williams as he’s struggling to get on his feet. Standing poised and ready, Va’aiga waits for Williams to turn around, and than BOOM, he cracks him with a right hook that would make George Foreman himself envious! The thunderous punch sends Danny aimlessly staggering away in a drunken haze! Making chase, Va’aiga catches up with Williams, and sends him spilling over the guardrail with another big punch! Sporting bright yellow shirts, security guards create a circular walk around the World Champion, holding the rowdy crowd at bay. Climbing over the guardrail, Va’agia mounts the World Champion, and begins hammering him with lethal closed fists!

 

Riley: He’s literally beating Williams from pillar to post!

 

Comet: Yes, he’s given him the grand tour....of DOOM!

 

Pulling the mutilated Champion to his feet, Va’aiga scoops him, and throws him over the guardrail with a standing Powerslam! After splattering on the floor, Williams desperately sprawls away, while Va’agia confidently stalks him. Trying to defend himself, Danny crawls his way up the ring apron, but the merciless Maori grabs him by the hair, and slams his face down into the canvas! As Danny sinks to his knees in a state of delirium, Va’aiga grabs one of the left over streamers, and wraps it around his throat.

 

Riley: I knew those streamers would come in handy!

 

Comet: Dastardly actions such as this is totally uncalled for!

 

“Same my name, say it!”, growls Va’aiga as he chokes out the World Champion, who can only spit and gag in response.

 

Asserting himself, Soapdish rolls out of the ring, and gets in the challenger’s face, ordering him to release the purple faced Champion. Though he would like nothing more than to strangle the life out of his former leader, Va’aiga releases Williams, believing that it hit would hurt him more if he took his belt instead. While Soapdish chastises the grumpy challenger, Williams wearily slides into the ring. In hot pursuit, the Maori Badass blows Soapdish off, and dives into the ring! With extended arms, Va’aiga makes his way over to the World Champion, who surprisingly rolls away! Hoping to force a change in momentum, Williams clumsily rolls to his feet, and weakly bounces off the ropes! Jumping in front of Williams’ path, Va’aiga scoops the World Champion up, and jumps forward!

 

KA-BOOM!

 

The entire Gund Arena shakes to it’s very foundation as Va’aiga crushes Williams to dust with his trademark Front Powerslam!

 

Comet: THE MAORI SLAM!!! THE MAORI SLAM!!!

 

Riley: Can you say,”New Heavyweight Champion of the World!”

 

The fans pop out of their chairs in disbelief as Soapdish slides into the ring, and starts the count!

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NO! Williams just barely kicks out, and the hot crowd goes wild! Knowing full and well that if Soapdish had been in the ring the match would have been over, Va’aiga jumps to his feet, and shouts profanities(in English) at the scrawny official! His eyes closed tightly from pain, Williams weakly thrashes around on the mat like a dying man tossing and turning on his deathbed.

 

Riley: Va’aiga has been screwed!

 

Comet: If that villain hadn’t been up to no good on the outside, than Soapdish wouldn’t have had to leave the ring. So if you ask me, it’s his own fault!

 

The intimidating beast that is Va’aiga backs Soapdish into a corner, before he regains his focus, and turns his attention back on the ailing Champion. Blood is now profusely pouring from Williams’ busted ear, painting his neck and shoulder in crimson. Bending over with a grunt, the angry Maori grabs a handful of Williams’ blood soaked hair, when the Champion flexibly brings his leg up, punting the big man in the side of the head! Having absorbed a lot of head trauma tonight, a wincing Va’aiga grabs his head and wobbles away, given Danny the opportunity to roll towards the ropes.

 

Comet: And the challenger is sent reeling after taking just one kick! Perhaps all the punishment he’s taking over the course of this bout is starting to accumulate.

 

Though the one eye he has left is glazed over, Williams heroically pulls himself up with the ropes, however Va’aiga is right there to greet him. Grabbing Danny by the tights, the powerful Maori attempts to pull him off the ropes only to find that the Champion has a death grip on em! One at a time, Va’aiga vigorously pries Danny’s arms off the ropes, bending them back into a Double Arm Chickenwing! Williams struggles to free himself, but it’s too little too late as the big Maori snaps back, launching the Champion across the ring like a human javelin!

 

Comet: TIGER SUUUUUUUUUPLEX!!!

 

Rocketing across the ring, Williams lands grotesquely on the back of his skull, causing his body to gruesomely fold up like a sheet!

 

CRUNCH!

 

The fans have their hearts in their throats as Va’aiga quietly makes his way across the ring, and flops atop the disfigured Champion’s remains for the pin!

 

Riley: Hopefully Soapdish won’t screw this one up!

 

You can hear a pin drop as Soapdish skids to the mat, and starts the count!

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

..........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

NO! Williams wiggles a shoulder up! Running in the place, the celebrating fans create a rumble that can be heard throughout the entire state of Ohio! Pounding his fists into the mat, the frustrated challenger goes on a profane tirade, insisting that the count was slow! Soapdish holds his ground, maintaining that the count was fair. Spitting in the official’s direction, Va’aiga climbs to his feet, and adjusts his elbow pad, letting everyone know how he intends to finish the World Champion off! Knowing what this mean, the nuclear hot crowd gets extremely loud, and jumpy.

 

Riley: It’s time for the Lariat!

 

Comet: As history has shown, Williams has been defeated by the Lariat on numerous occasions. Thanks to the ex-football maneuver, Frost, TNT, and of course Va’agia, have all scored dominating victories over the current World Champion.

 

Straining to get the limp World Champion to his feet, Va’aiga pushes Williams up against the ropes, and whips him off! However, the rubber legged Champion dramatically collapses in the center of the ring! A bit surprised, the challenger decides it would be best to lean into the ropes, and ambush Williams when he get’s up. With quivering legs, Williams shakily wobbles to his feet, only to go back down. Nearly jumping the gun, the Maori leans back into the ropes, continuing to size the Champion up. Finally, Williams finds the strength to stand up! On that cue, Va’aiga charges full speed ahead,....

 

WHAM!

 

running right into a jaw shattering Mule Kick! Stopping dead in his tracks, the big Maori teeters backwards, but suddenly, explodes forward! Extending arm, Va’agia takes a big swing at Danny’s head, firing the.....

 

Comet: LARIAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

 

that would have torn Danny’s head off, if it wasn’t blocked! Spinning in place, Williams clocks the Maori with a big time forearm, knocking the monster off his feet!

 

Comet: NO, ROLLING ELBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

 

Unable to keep his feet underneath him, Williams flops belly down on the mat, while the capacity crowd blows the roof off the place! Stunned but not knocked out, Va’aiga lies on his side with a blank expression on his face, wandering if anyone got the license plate number of the truck that hit him. Shaking his head from side to side, Va’aiga sits up on one knee, struggling to regain the senses that had been knocked out of him. Once he gathers his composure, the angry challenger stands up with snarl, while Williams continues to agonize on the mat. Disappointed by this turn of events, the crowd quiets down.

 

Comet: Not even citizen Williams’ most reliable momentum shifter can turn the tide his way, he’s still in far worse shape than the challenger.

 

Riley: Yeah, this is just a minor in-convince for Va’aiga, just a small bump in his road to the title. He made one tiny mistake, it won’t happen again.

 

Frustrated for having run himself into trouble, the Maori Badass ventilates his rage by stomping a mud hole in the World Champion. Grabbing the Champion by his hair, Va’aiga pulls him up for additional punishment...

 

CRACK!

 

only to get drilled by a bruising spinning back elbow smash! Elegantly spinning on his heel like a ballerina of death, Williams twirls back around, knocking Va’aiga out of his boots with another Rolling Elbow!

 

CRAAAAAAACK!

 

Returning from the dead, the vocal fans cry out with joy! Dropping to his knees, the battered and bloody Champion gathers his strength for one final run.

 

Riley: Damn, Va’aiga is given this thing away!

 

Comet: The Champion is willing his way back in into the match, but does he still have enough gas in the tank into overcome the nearly unbeatable Va’aiga!

 

Sensing that Williams is on the verge of vanquishing his long time foe, the hot crowd gives a continuos pop with no end in sight. For the first time tonight, Va’aiga appears to be in real trouble, experiencing a great deal of difficulty in climbing to his feet. Pouncing on the challenger like a hungry lion, Williams drags Va’aiga to his feet, and unleashes a bombardment of cringe inducing elbows!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

The brain scrambling combo leaves the Maori Badass helplessly wobbling in place in a human punching bag! Letting out a fearsome battle cry, Williams spins towards the dazed challenger like a discus thrower, firing one last Rolling Elbow!

 

SMAAAAAAAAACK!

 

Beating Danny to the punch, Va’aiga dives forward, decapitating the Champion with THE STIFFEST LARIAT IN THE HISTORY OF THE INDUSTRY! Danny’s legs go out from underneath him, causing the Champion to land totally vertical on the back of his neck! The horrified fans jump out of their chairs so fast you would think that they had buzzers in them!

 

Comet: HE HIT IT! HE HIT IT! VA’AGIA HIT THE LARIAT!!!

 

Riley: Now that’s how you kill a comeback! Williams went to the well one too many times, and boom, Va’aiga made him pay for it!

 

No longer the invincible beast he once was, the punch drunk challenger lies dazed and confused on the mat, while Williams’ lifeless body bounces around with the momentum, before eventually coming to it’s final resting place. Shaking his head from side to side, Va’aiga snaps out of the elbow induced trance, coming to the realization that Danny is ripe for the pickings! The Maori epically crawls atop Danny, however to the challenger’s confusion, Soapdish doesn’t start the count. Upon further inspection the Maori Badass notices that Williams’ foot is draped across the bottom rope.

 

Comet: Va’agia is so out of it, he didn’t even realize that Williams on the ropes.

 

Not letting Williams’ lucky break rain on his parade, Va’aiga simply hooks the leg in question, prompting Soapdish to start the count.

 

Riley: History has been, Comet! Tonight, were gonna crown a new Heavyweight Champion!

 

To the say the spectators are shocked would be a huge understatement as they continue to stand in silence like mourners at a funeral, Danny Williams’ funeral.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

NO! Williams just barely wiggles his shoulder up in the nick of time! Relieved, the fans jump up and down with joy, celebrating the nearfall with an ear shattering pop!

 

Comet: What a heartbreaker for poor Va’aiga, he finally hit his deadly Lariat, but was unable to capitalize in time!

 

Riley: Williams has been hiding behind lady luck’s skirt this whole damn match!

 

Rolling off the demolished Champion, the light headed Maori takes a few more seconds to collect his senses, before plotting his next move. Refusing to settle down, the hopefuls in attendance start a “Let’s go Danny!” chant that quickly picks up steam, and spreads through the building like wild fire. Leaning up against the ropes for support, Va’aiga carefully contemplates the manner in which he is to capture the World Title. Coming to the conclusion that he doesn’t have to risk using the dreaded Stinger, the Maori Badass decides that he can put away the Champion by simpler means. Williams can barely hold his one good eye open as Va’aiga carefully guides him to his feet, sizing him up for the....

 

Comet: LARIAT! HE’S GONNA GO FOR ANOTHER LARIAT!!!

 

Steadying Williams, Va’aiga draws back his massive, muscular arm as far as he can, and launches it directly at his victim’s face!

 

 

SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

 

Ducking under Va’aiga’s murderous finisher, Williams grabs a skin tight rear waistlock, and with a mighty heave, tosses his much larger adversary over his head!

 

Comet: GERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

 

Going into the mat at an almost perfect ninety degree angle, the huge Maori lands on the back of his dome in sickening fashion! The second head bump of the night puts the already molten hot crowd over the top, damn near inciting a riot!

 

Riley: He should have never went for the Lariat twice, it was hard enough to hit the first damn time!

 

Comet: And with that Dangerous German Suplex, Citizen Williams may have finally, permanently turned the tide of this match!

 

Both men are in horrible shape, and as result, they both start to stir around the same time. Tightly clutching the back of his head, the groaning challenger reaches his feet, only to discover that Danny is already up and running!

 

CRAAAACK!

 

The World Champion levels Va’aiga with a particularly nasty Running Elbow that sends thousands of little droplets of sweat flying into the air! In the instant that the Maori goes down, Williams flops on top of him, covering the challenger for the pin.

 

Comet: I think Citizen Williams may have just knocked Va’aiga out cold!

 

Overzealous, the fans count along with glee!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

.................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THRE-Oooooooooooooh!”, sighs the deeply involved crowd, cutting themselves off as Va’aiga shrugs over on his side, stopping the count!

 

Riley: Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched Comet, Va’agia is still alive and kicking!

 

Thanks to Va’agia’s Lariat, Williams is still in pretty horrible shape, especially now that the adrenaline rush is over. Picking himself off the mat, Danny hobbles his way over to the Maori Badass, who has just now gotten up to one knee. Needing Va’aiga on his feet, Williams pulls him the rest of the way up, only to get his jaw jacked by a primitive right hook! Though he’s knocked silly, Danny predictably comes back with a whale of an elbow! Unpredictably, Danny follows that elbow with a reciprocating blow to the left side of Va’aiga’s jaw!

 

CRACK!

 

Completing the lighting quick combo, Williams pulverizes Va’agia with the right forearm again!

 

CRACK!

 

In a cloud of blinding sweat, the k.o.ed Maori crumbles to his knees, and flops face down on the mat.

 

Riley: Oh man, it hurt to watch that!

 

Comet: Surely this will be enough to put the challenger away...if not, god help us all!

 

The crowd goes into hysterics as Danny rolls Va’aiga’s limp body over, blanketing it for what is sure to be the match ending pin!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

NO! Not ready to lay over and die just yet, the determined Maori raises his arm into the air!

 

Riley: Unbelievable, unbelievable!

 

Comet: I knew Va’aiga was tough, but I didn’t know he had a mutant healing factor!

 

Not expecting this outcome, Williams sits up on one knee with a puzzled look on his face. To Danny’s amazement, Va’aiga actually starts making an attempt at getting his feet under him, prompting the Champion to take off the ropes! Bouncing off the ropes, Williams picks up an incredible amount of speed!

 

CRAAACK!

 

Danny slams his forearm into the back of his rising victim’s skull, dropping him like a bad habit!

 

Comet: ENZUI RUNNING ELBOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

 

Standing over his opponent’s lifeless remains, Williams wiggles his boots underneath Va’aiga’s arm pits, and delicately turns in the opposite direction, rolling the big man over on his shoulders! Bridging back over Va’aiga, Williams folds the challenger’s legs over his head for a beautiful, picture perfect Japanese Crutch Pin!

 

Riley: Never saw Danny do that before!

 

Comet: Williams is digging deep into his arsenal, trying different things in hopes of finding something that can work!

 

The crowd goes into hysterics as Soapdish slides to the mat, and starts the long awaited count!

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

NO! Doing the impossible, Va’aiga kicks out of the pretzel like pinning predicament! Thinking for sure that it was over, many of the fans prematurely release their streamers in celebration!

 

Comet: By the Son of Jural, where is Va’aiga getting his strength?!

 

Riley: Williams can bust out all the new tricks he likes, but he still can’t defeat his former stablemate!

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Comet: By the Son of Jural, where is Va’aiga getting his strength?!

 

Riley: Williams can bust out all the new tricks he likes, but he still can’t defeat his former stablemate!

 

Mad as hell and refusing to take any more shit, Williams jumps to his feet, and pats his elbow! Vacant eyed and expressionless, the stunned challenger struggles to get his feet, but his dead legs just won’t let him. Given Va’aiga a helping hand, Williams grabs him by his hair, and jerks him to his feet. Suddenly, the Maori swipes the Champion’s hands off, and swings his meaty arm up for the....

 

Comet: LARIAT!!!

 

but there isn’t anything on it! The once deadly strike loosely bounces off Williams’ chest, doing absolutely zero damage.

 

Riley: If he’s gonna go down, Va’aiga is gonna fittingly go down swinging!

 

Tucking his body in, Williams roars like a Dragon Ball Z character as he briefly charges up! Really stepping into his swing, Williams decks Va’agia with an elbow so hard that it nearly shatters the bones in his arm!

 

CRAAAAAAAACK!

 

The sound of bone on bone echoes through the entire arena, hell even a poor drunken bastard puking in the restroom can hear it!

 

Comet: HOLY COWABUNGA! That was the hardest elbow smash I’ve ever seen or even heard for that matter!

 

D.O.A on his way to the mat, Va’agia hits the canvas so hard that his legs involuntarily fold over his head! Leaning down his corrugated opponent’s legs, Williams holds the undead Maori down with a slide pin! Not given their soar throats a rest, the fans scream along with the count at the top of their lungs!

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

.................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

Va’aiga stays down, and Soapdish calls for the bell!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Though they’ve done made the biggest pops of the night for the Clusterfuck, the fans still manage to blow the roof off one more time! Streamers and confetti come floating into the ring like snow flakes, creating a party atmosphere.

 

Comet: DANNY RETAINS! DANNY RETAINS!

 

So happy he can barely contain himself, Dace comes rushing into the ring, the first to congratulate Williams on his draining defense! Bleeding, bruised, and nearly dead, Williams is in no condition to celebrate or even let the official raise his hand. Still, Soapdish grabs his wrist, and just barely lifts it up, making the win an official one.

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the match by pinfall at 31 minutes and 22 seconds.................AND STILL THE SWF CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...................................DANNY WILLIAMSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

 

Getting the title from the outside official, Soapdish hands the belt over to Williams, well actually he just kind of lays it on top of him. Dace stays by his side, given the ailing Champion water, while they patiently wait for the paramedics. On the other side of the spectrum, Duran is pouring water on Va’aiga’s face in a vain attempt to revive him.

 

Comet: I didn’t think it was possible, but Williams somehow over came the odds, and knocked out one of the most fearsome villains in the history of the SWF! Finally, the demon that has haunted Williams’ Title reign has been exercised!

 

Riley: Bah, Va’aiga got defeated by fatigue not Danny’s elbows. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the big man work so hard for such a long match, in the end he was victim of conditioning I wager, and of course lousy officiating, since the match was technically over after the Maori Slam.

 

Comet: Let’s not try to stir up any controversy, Williams cleanly defeated his long time foe, and hopefully this long, bloody feud. will finally come to an end. Only time can tell. For now, Williams has defeated his toughest challenge to date, solidifying himself as Champion to be reckoned with.

 

Riley: Yes, but here are many more challenges that lie ahead for Williams, namely the Clusterfuck winner.

 

Comet: Correct, Williams may have exercised a ghost from his past, but there are still many more that he will have face to in the future....

 

By now, Janus has came down to ringside. Together, he and Dace hoist Williams up on their shoulders, letting him raise the title over his head for a few moments! They let every side of the arena get a picture, before they have to lay the weary Champion back on the mat.

 

Comet: Well fans, this has been a historical night that will be remembered in the hearts of those who were lucky enough to witness it. On behalf of myself and my colleague, I would like to wish you all a good night!

[Dace59 0]

Jesus.... just jesus.

I can't comment to much right now, but that was a great match man.

 

You're gonna be sorely, sorely missed around here.

Yer this is an E-fed, but I can't say how much I'm gonna miss you, as a guy that inspired so much of my character and what I wanted to do in this fed.

 

DAN-E! BOOM BOOM! DAN-E! BOOM BOOM! DAN-E! BOOM BOOM!

[WrestlingDeacon 0]

I wanted to post the half a match I wrote to prove that I did have intentions of writing and sending something in. I would really appreciate it if you at least check out the toward the end where the Memphis Eel comes in and tell me how you think he came off.

 

The camera pans a wide shot of the jam-packed to capacity crowd at the Gund Arena. Fans wave their signs and scream to be heard over the roar of Flaw’s “Only the Strong.” The picture fades in transition to the ringside commentator’s table.

 

“We are mere moments away from the reason you purchased this pay-per-view from your cable subscriber,” the always overformal Cyclone Comet states flatly. “After our two exciting, hard fought opening matches it is now time for the Clusterfuck itself.”

 

“I love hearing you swear,” Bobby Riley laughs. “It’s so fucking unnatural coming from your lips.”

 

“I did not choose the name of the match,” Comet reminds “however, I certainly endorse the hard fought effort that will need to be put forth by the individual who takes victory here tonight. Would you care to go over the rules for the fans at home, Citizen Riley?”

 

“No,” Riley blows on his knuckles and closely examines one of his cuticles.

 

Comet narrows his steely eyes and stares a hole through his commentating partner.

 

“Okay, okay,” Riley pleads with both hands up. “I was just messing with you.”

 

The scene switches to a far shot of the empty ring, much like before a boxing match, and the rules appear written on the screen as Riley goes over them.

 

“Here’s the deal. Two men start off. Every two minutes another wrestler enters the ring. A man is eliminated when he’s goes over the top rope, either by his own power or that of another, and has both feet touch the floor. That person must then promptly return to the locker room area. When only three competitors are left after all 20 have entered, the match will turn into your standard triple thread encounter. Disqualifications and count outs will not be in effect and the only way to win is to pin one of the other two left or make them submit.”

 

The image shifts to a closer shot of the ring as last minute preparation are made. Comet’s voice chimes in on voice over.

 

“Keeping the peace around the ring will be four top SWF referees.” The names appear at the bottom of the screen as Comet lists them. “They are Sexton Harcastle, Anthony Michael Hall, Ced Ordonez and Eddy Long. Overseeing all the action from the base of the ramp is senior referee Matthew Kivell.” The camera flicks over to Kivell who spies the electronic eye and thumbs his nose at the camera with a wink to the viewers at home.

 

The ring bell sounds three times to quiet the crowd and ring announcer Funyon steps front and center with a microphone in hand. “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get ready to FUCK!!!” Funyon sweeps his arm grandly around the auditorium as the throng goes nuts.

 

Suddenly, all goes dark and strobe lights pulse throughout the arena to the beats of Linkin Park’s “Don’t Stay.” The fans jeer and hiss as they realize whose music that is and the sound only amplifies when that person emerges from the rear. The strobes cut out and the entrance ramp is bathed in blue. A figure walks backwards down the slope with his arms out to the side. Halfway to the ring, the arms swing widely and the figure pivots at the waist to herald a remarkable…

 

BOOM!

 

A huge blast of white fireworks lights up the back of the stage and the smoke filters down the ramp and across the expanse of the Gund. The grappler finish his spin and saunters toward the ring with the boos ringing like music in his ears.

 

“Entering the Clusterfuck at number one, he is the King of Nightmares from Tampa, Florida. Tipping the scales at 280 pounds, he is MICHAEL CRAAAAAAAAAAAAVEEEEEEENNNN!”

 

Craven leaps to the ring apron and enters between the ropes. He shoots a quick look at Funyon before jumping up to the top turnbuckle of the nearest corner. He spreads his arms out wide to the side and continues to relish in the hatred of the fans, showing no effect the task that lay before him must be playing on his mind.

 

Comet: “Citizen Craven wound up being the first entrant due to getting himself on the bad side of Commissioner Stevens.”

 

Riley: “And no one wants to offend our dearly beloved and handsome commissioner.”

 

Comet: “If I had the ability to detect it, I would almost say that I heard sarcasm in your voice.”

 

Craven jumps down as the lights return to full. He leans into the near ropes and stretches out.

 

“And entering at number two…” Funyon starts. He is cut off by “Ready to Die” by Andrew W.K. and the fans let out with a mixed chorus of cheers and jeers. The camera cuts to Michael Craven looking at Funyon and then gesturing toward the backstage area with a “c’mon gimme a break” look. A spurt of white pyro shoots up from the left side of the stage, then the right, then dead in the middle. From the blinding light a tall and tone man emerges.

 

Funyon picks up where he left off “…from Harrison Illinois at a weight of 231 pounds. He is The Spectacle, MIKE…VAN…SIC…LEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNN!”

 

Comet: “We knew that Craven was going to be number one and Charlie Matthews will be entering last due to his win over Dace Night on the last Smarkdown, but we have no idea when people will enter in between. Citizen Van Siclen is now known to be the second man in and Craven looks none too pleased.”

 

Riley: “Pshaw! It doesn’t matter who walks through that curtain. Michael Craven just has to keep focused and pace himself and he has this.”

 

Comet: “And for Van Siclen?”

 

Riley: “Get tossed early, and catch the end of the Super Bowl. Go Panthers! Ah, hell, I don’t care.”

 

Van Siclen pulls himself to the ring apron with a hand on the second rope and steps through the strands. He hops to the nearest turnbuckle, much like Craven did, and lifts his arms above his head. The fans scream, more out of rooting against Craven than for the other Mike.

 

Like a flash, Craven flies into view with a forearm to Van Siclen’s lower back! He crumples forward and grips the ring post tight in an attempt to keep his balance. Craven pushes on his rear in an attempt to toss him sprawling to the thin mats below.

 

DING DING DING

 

Comet: “Michael Craven smartly wastes no time in jumping MVS before the bell, but he is determinedly holding on.”

 

Van Siclen kicks his left leg back and catches Craven just enough in the chest to send him tripping away. MVS spins around and jumps off the second rope with his hands balled over his head for a double axehandle. Craven stutter steps back a pace and falls to his rear. Van Siclen holds his arms out to the sides and looks to the crowd for approval. They cheer and he growls with a fire in his gut.

 

Riley: “Don’t play to the humanoids, Mike. You want to get guys out as fast as you can and control the pace as much as you can early on before the ring fills up.”

 

MVS reaches down to bring Craven up by the sides of his head. The former Pokemon freak and now just plain freak, makes his knees and fires a quick right hand to the stomach. Craven swings his arm low as he stands. He raises it with gaining velocity and smashes a crushing forearm to the forehead. It is now MVS’s turn to slump dazed to the mat. Craven cockily turns to the crowd and receives more blaring hatred for his troubles.

 

Comet: “The High Power Forearm Smash. That will scramble your brains and your eggs right there.”

 

Riley: “Scramble your brains and your eggs? You been watching Jim Ross tapes again?”

 

Craven yanks the dazed Van Siclen to his feet by his long black hair. He points to the ropes to raise the fan ire anew and runs for them with MVS in tow. Craven hurls him over the strands, but Mike snaps too just in time to put on the brakes a bit and grab the top cord. He awkwardly falls to the apron.

 

Comet: “Mike Van Siclen saved himself there, but he’s not out of danger from elimination yet.”

 

Craven skids across the turf with a baseball slide aimed for his prone opponent. MVS scurries up the ring edge and under the bottom rope. Craven hits nothing but air and lands upright on the floor. Hardcastle and Hall immediately converge on him to motion him back into the ring.

 

Riley: “Listen to some of these stupid yokels cheering. He went under the bottom rope Einstenes! He’s not eliminated.”

 

Still shaking off the effects of the forearm smash, MVS comes over to meet Craven as he takes the apron. He lowers his shoulder and drives it between the ropes into Mike’s gut. Michael grabs the top rope firmly and uses it to slingshot himself up and over! He takes MVS’s waist as he goes by and drags him down with him.

 

Comet: “Michael Craven has proven on many occasions that he has dizzying agility and aerial skills for such a big man and does so again with that sunset flip from the apron.”

 

Craven quickly breaks the hold, knowing a pinfall does him no good, and both men race to their feet. Craven tries to catch his foe off guard with a quick thrust kick. Van Siclen senses it on instinct more than anything and snatches the ankle to whip him over to the mat.

 

Comet: “Nice counter by Van Siclen. It looks like he’s going for some sort of leghold to slow things dow…no!”

 

Craven jabs his beefy leg forward and MVS stumbles into the upper right ringer corner. He winces from taking the buckle in the back while Craven springs up. He charges into the corner with a raised knee to the stomach. Michael wraps his arm around his opponent’s head as he doubles over from the blow and grabs his tights with his other hand. He pulls MVS out of the corner and then lifts him off the ground. He holds him vertically for a few moments before kicking back and slamming Van Siclen down.

 

Comet: “Craven with a suplex out of the corner as he looks to take control.”

 

Riley: “Control him out of the ring, don’t do anything fancy.”

 

The plea doesn’t reach Craven’s ears, as he can’t resist the opportunity to hit Van Siclen with one of his pet moves while the focus is still solely on him in the match. He jerks Mike up and dips his shoulder to take him on his back in a fireman’s carry position.

 

Comet: “Craven is looking to finish Van Siclen off with one of his own special tweakings of the F5.”

 

Riley: “He better do it fast, because the clock is ticking down. Get that punk out of there.”

 

Craven shakes his left shoulder and goes to swing MVS around into position. Van Siclen throws all of his weight to the side and rides the momentum past where Craven wants him. He fights to get his arm over Craven’s neck and snakes his legs from one side of the man’s body to the other. Mike shifts his weight again, this time throwing it all backwards to cram Craven’s skull into the canvas!

 

Comet: “What a stunning reversal into the tornado DDT! Mike Van Siclen was playing opossum and it might pay off. Now it’s his turn to point to the ropes and escort our first gentleman out.”

 

The crowd pops for MVS palming the back of Craven’s head like a basketball and running him at the ropes. Like with Mike before, Michael’s eyes go wide as he senses elimination near and tries to put on the breaks. He grabs the top rope with his right hand while wrapping his left arm behind Van Siclen’s back. The two men topple over the strands and crash to the apron in a human heap. They kick and punch at each other as they attempt to untangle themselves and get back into the ring. The referees rush over to make sure no one spills to the floor. The fans’ eyes turn to the backstage curtain and countdown with the clock on the Smarktron.

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

The siren sounds to herald the playing of “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck” by Prong. A bald headed man with a thick, scraggly beard and tattoos up and down his arms arrives from the back with a fist held firmly in the air.

 

Comet: “It’s Manson! Manson is the first former SJL’er to join the fray tonight.”

 

Riley: “For those of you living in a hole, like maybe Saddam Hussein’s a fan, I don’t know, the Smarks Wrestling Federation’s former Junior League has been consolidated with the association proper and now all the big boys play together.”

 

Comet: “They certainly come bigger than Manson, but I don’t know if they come scarier.”

 

A smattering of boos greets Manson as he reaches the ringside area. Only the real hardcore fans know who all the SJL guys are, but they all hope to be known once this night is over. Craven and Van Siclen have slid back into the ring and are making their feet as Manson slides in under the bottom rope. He locks his eyes on Craven and quickly glides to his feet already churning his legs at a full run. He stretches his arm out, sailing over Van Siclen’s still lowered head and plows it into Craven! He goes down and the fans roar! Manson keeps moving, knowing it’s not so easy to get started anymore after he stops, to bounce into the far ropes. He sprints back across the ring to catch the now fully standing MVS across the chest with a clothesline as well! He goes down and the fans boo, having sided with the tweener Van Siclen in the early going.

 

Comet: “Manson hung around the SJL for years as Mafia before deciding to go under his real name.”

 

Riley: “Actually, his real name is Hitler, but his parents changed it to something less evil.”

 

Comet: “Despite your attempts at humor Citizen Riley, it’s been a long road for Manson, but he’s already making the most of his grand opportunity.”

 

Manson reaches down to take MVS with one hand on his shoulder and the other between his legs. He lifts the man in a great show of strength and spins him around. He angles the right shoulder toward the turf and jackhammers him down for a shoulder breaker! The crowd yells to signal Craven making his feet. He trips dazed into Manson, who scoops him up and flips him around. BAM!

 

Comet: “A second shoulder breaker and Manson is handling both men with ease.”

 

Manson drops a knee to Craven’s chest and mounts him to fire a series of elbows to the face. Van Siclen makes it to all fours and crawls near the pair. He springs up from his base to tackle Manson around the chest. They fly off of Craven and grapple on the mat, trading punches in close quarters.

 

Riley: “I never followed the SJL much, because I had better things to do like eat Cheetoes and watch porn, but this Manson is impressing me right off the bat. He’s just kicking ass and automatically pissed off.”

 

Michael Craven recovers from his beat down and dives headlong into the fracas. All three violently roll around on the mat, sneaking in a kick or punch where they can. Finally, they all break off and make their feet. Manson breaks the momentary truce with a stiff Yakuza kick out of nowhere! He catches Craven right on the button and he goes flying into the far corner like a Matrix extra. MVS pivots on his right leg while swinging the left around for a spinning wheel kick on Manson. Manson stumbles into the ropes off the blow and trips off into a facelock. Van Siclen shimmies to the left then comes all the way around to the right. He twists Manson’s head up and around to rest on his shoulder and then plummets to the mat.

 

Comet: “Swinging neckbreaker finally takes Manson off the offensive.”

 

Riley: “If I’m Craven, I hang back and let these two duke it out then pickup the piece before the next man enters.”

 

MVS pulls Manson up with a waistlock and spins him to be head down to the canvas. He sits straight down, nailing the crown of Manson’s skull into the mat!

 

Comet: “Van Slaminator!”

 

Riley: “Look out!”

 

The camera pulls back just in time to see Michael Craven launching himself from the lower left turnbuckle. His body is ramrod straight and his arms are out to the side. Despite their hatred, the fans pop for the spectacle of The King of Nightmares descending from the sky for a flying headbutt!

 

Riley: “Welcome to the big leagues, kiddo.”

 

Manson and Craven both bounce into the air from impact. Craven shakes his ringing head as he makes his feet. He takes Manson’s right arm while Van Siclen snatches the left. They drag the grappler to his feet, out cold, and whip him for the near ropes. He twists to takes the strands in the back. As he goes to spring off, MVS and Craven blast tandem superkicks to Manson’s hairy chin. A hell of a momentum reverser, the burly wrestler reels head over heels past the top rope and crashes to the floor with a wet thud!

 

***************

MANSON

Entered: 3rd

Exited: 1st

Eliminations: None

Eliminated by: Mike Van Siclen and Michael Craven

***************

 

Comet: “The Clusterfuck is known to make strange bedfellows and did so there with Mike Van Siclen and Michael Craven uniting to take out the SJL’s Manson.”

 

Riley: “He came on strong and looked great, but he just isn’t able to stand toe to toe with the more seasoned SJL superstars yet.”

 

The camera focuses on the referees helping the stunned Manson to his feet. One can see Craven surprising MVS with a back elbow at the top of the screen. The fan counting can be heard again and camera two switches on to stare at the backstage curtain.

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Comet: “Here’s a man who won’t have Manson’s problems! It’s DACE NIGHT!”

 

The fans go bonkers for the first true face in the match. Night sails down the ramp, almost beating the white pyro going off in bursts down its length. Nightrage’s “Hero” thunders down to hype the rising fan fervor even more. Manson is seen leaving to the side of the ramp as Night reaches the ringside area. He slides in under the bottom rope and to his feet. The camera focuses on the ring again to find MVS down off of the back elbow and Craven spinning around to meet Night.

 

Riley: “Losing that match to Grappler on Smarkdown really drove Night down the roster didn’t it?”

 

Craven telegraphs a standing clothesline and Night ducks under it to come up behind him with a half nelson. He bends his knees and slings Craven over his body and down on his head with a half nelson suplex.

 

Comet: “Regardless, I think Dace Night is the guy with the right type of ring smarts and wrestling ability to hang in there and win this from so low a number.”

 

Night drops a couple standing knee drops to Craven’s head. He spies MVS making his feet and breaks off to snag him by the wrist. Van Siclen is whipped into the far ropes and comes off at a dead run. Night bends over for a backdrop near the opposite cords, hoping to eliminate MVS right off. However, it’s too much ground for Van Siclen to cover without regaining his bearings and he sails into Dace with a rising knee to the mouth!

 

Riley: “Did you just use ‘smarts’ and ‘Dace Night’ in the same sentence?”

 

Night is knocked upright from the shot and lies with his back across the ropes. Mike plows a stiff clothesline into his chest and Night flips over the ropes. The crowd gasps! The Master of Horrorcore lands on his feet like a cat! MVS looks a bit shocked and Night shakes his scarred head for a determined ‘no.’ Van Siclen goes to push Dace in the chest. Night sneaks his right leg under the bottom cord and hooks the toe of his boot around Mike’s ankle. He jerks hard for a back heel trip.

 

Comet: “MVS is upended, allowing Citizen Night to reenter the squared circle. Here comes Craven!”

 

The heel charges Night and he nonchalantly sidesteps him while putting a hand on his back. He gives him an extra shove and Craven goes flying. He bangs onto the outside apron and gets tangled in the ropes. The mass in attendance encourages Night to finish the job, but he’s cut off by MVS.

 

Comet: “Van Siclen and Night meet in an elbow and collar tie up. Craven reenters and hangs back.”

 

Riley: “Maybe they’ll work the same strategy on Night that they did on Manson. This time with Craven’s backstabbing working!”

 

MVS and Night jockey for position. Almost evenly matched in size, neither can claim an advantage. Craven watches the pair with a smirk and cockily ascends the turnbuckles to the top rope.

 

Riley: “I don’t think Craven cares who comes out on top. He’s going to lower the boom on one of them.”

 

Craven perches and observes. The two titans continue to struggle. Finally, MVS quickly jaunts to the right and comes out of the lockup with both hands on Night’s left wrist. He goes to whip him into the lower left corner, but Night reverses! Van Siclen runs chest first into the corner. The ring shakes and Craven crotches himself while Mike bounces out into the waiting clutches of Dace.

 

Riley: “Yeah, I don’t think Craven was expecting THAT outcome.”

 

Night fires back with a German suplex. Van Siclen crunches onto the base of his neck and slumps to his side. The fans scream in joy for Michael’s testicular discomfort. He howls and puts both hands over his privates, yet still has the presence of mind to fall forward into the ring. Night stands and observes both of his fallen prey. He goes to Craven and drops a knee to soften him up a bit more. He tugs him into a standing head scissors and double underhooks the arms.

 

Comet: “Dace Night is going for the Tiger Driver. Will he try to toss him out or add insult to injury first?”

 

Night flips Craven up and around against his chest. He twists 180 to face the downed MVS. He throws Michael forward for a release powerbomb and lets gravity do the rest. Craven lands on top of Van Siclen and both men yelp from impact.

 

Riley: “Looks like insult and injury first.”

 

Night hunches with his elbows on his knees. He measures the pair, waiting for them to stand. They lurch to their feet, heads hung low and swiveling loose on their necks. Night approaches confidently and takes them under an arm apiece in a facelock. He kicks his legs out and uses his legendary strength to muscle the duo down to the mat.

 

Comet: “Always the innovator, Dace Night keeps both men rocked with a double DDT.”

 

Riley: “The buzzer is ready to go off again. Let’s see if Dace gets some help or an ass whipping.”

 

Night stands and hears the fans count down. He waves to the back and mouths “come on,” ready for whomever might be next.

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

“NO-NO-NOTORIOUS!”

 

Riley: “I smell an ass whipping.”

 

The fans jeer “The Notorious” John Duran as he enters to Spineshank’s “Synthetic.”

 

Comet: “These two men are no strangers to each other and they look fired to get it on.”

 

Duran briskly makes it to the ring and enters between the ropes. Night gamely engages him with a lockup as he enters and they struggle into the lower left corner. Night breaks off and holds Duran at bay with a knife edged chop that echoes through the building. Duran winces and clutches his reddening chest. MVS and Craven slowly recover and rekindle their fight from the start by brawling into the opposite corner. Night fires a second chop to the chest, but this one only seems to serve as an eye opener. Duran catches Dace off guard with a poke to the eye. He trades places with the temporarily blinded man and keeps him in check with a knee lift.

 

Riley: “No DQ counts to worry about in the ‘fuck. Those notorious tactics of Duran’s are legal as an armbar. Not that he cares anyway.”

 

Craven is controlling Van Siclen in their battle and looks over his shoulder to see Duran doing the same on Night with a series of rapid-fire knee lifts. The Notorious one feels the eyes on him and catches Craven at the edge of his peripheral vision. He gets the drift and goes to whip Night out of the corner as Craven does the same with Mike on the other end. Nearly perfectly synchronized, MVS and Dace reverse the whips and send Duran and Craven crashing into each other to elicit a pop from the fans. The still fresh Notorious One thinks fast on his feet and wraps his arms behind Michael for a bear hug as they collide. He lifts Craven slightly off the mat and twists him a quarter turn and down for a belly-to-belly suplex.

 

Comet: “An action packed sequence there. This match has been full tilt since the opening bell. Night and MVS come to the center of the ring to choose a dance partner. Dace pairs off with the King of Nightmares and Van Siclen goes toe to toe with John Duran.”

 

Night blisters Craven’s chest with knife-edge chops to force him back against the ropes. Night lays his weight into the man to push him over the ropes. Michael determinedly hangs on and tries to shake Dace off with clubbing forearms to his back. MVS blocks a Duran punch and lands one of his own. He swiftly scoops him up and slings him over his shoulder. He thunders him down for a ring shaking powerslam. Van Siclen leans into the near ropes, lining up an elbow drop. Dace finally gives up on forcing Craven out and whips him for the far cords. Michael skips over Duran’s body just before MVS falls to drop his elbow. John rolls out of the way and to his feet. Craven hops over MVS the second time through. Night times his backdrop a bit better this time and steps forward to meet Michael with lowered back and shoulders to the chest. He bucks like a bronco and sends Craven high into the air! Duran sprints up to Van Siclen and jumps high before lowering a knee drop. The Gulf Coast Hurricane looks like he’s caught in the wind of one as his body fidgets and fights to stop its course. Craven starts coming down just on the other side of the ropes and manages to snag the top cable with both hands. It bows low from the weight. The camera goes to close up and catches the toe of Michael’s right boot grazing the floor. Referee Ordonez watches the feet with an eagle eye.

 

Riley: “That’s only one foot. It has to be both! I explained the rules humanoids, hello!”

 

Craven steels his body and smirks as he regains control and muscles his way back into the ring with the classic skin the cat maneuver. In the meantime, Night has locked back up with Duran while MVS looks to join them. Craven catches him from behind with a forearm and puts him down with a sharp elbow to the top of the head. Duran uses his height advantage to force Night to his knees and breaks off the tie up with a rising knee to the stomach. Craven yanks Van Siclen up by the hair and into an inverted facelock. He drops straight down for an inverted DDT. Duran gets a regular facelock on Night and stands him upright with a hand on his tights. He bends his knees for leverage and hoists the man up.

 

Comet: “Duran goes for the front suplex. No! He hangs him out to dry instead.”

 

Duran drops Night stomach first over the top rope. He sways off balance for a second and John looks to finish the job with a European uppercut. Night’s keen mat sense makes him lean back enough for Duran to whiff on the shot. He rocks forward and comes over the ropes with an awkward, but effective double leg attack.

 

Comet: “Both men down. Craven sets MVS up for the Nightfall Slam as the clock ticks down for entrant number five.”

 

Craven lifts slightly on his full nelson, then throws MVS forward and down, releasing to let him smash to the canvas. He sees the woozy Night trying to stand and goes into him with both arms, driving him into the ropes. Duran crawls over to Van Siclen and mounts him to deliver some hard right hands. No one wants to be the first to take a breather, because they all know how deadly that might be.

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Comet: “It’s former SJL Heavyweight Champion ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins.”

 

Riley: “Just listen to that crowd…not really caring all that much.”

 

The crowd reaction is light for another unknown SJL commodity. Spike dashes down the ramp at a good clip to Bad Ronald’s “Let’s Begin (Shoot the Shit).” The pretty boy grappler slaps hands with a few people as he goes to endear himself to the front row fans. He slides under the bottom rope and immediately saves Dace Night by pulling Michael Craven off of him. He sends Craven rushing across the ring on a whip. He holds his ground as Michael runs to him. Spike plants the left leg and fires out the right for a superkick that damn near caves in Craven’s face.

 

Comet: “Citizen Jenkins hits The Last Dance right off the bat and that gets a reaction out of this crowd.”

 

Riley: “Meh. Craven’s been in there for at least six hours now. He’s tired and that’s the only way the rookie landed it. We need some Gatorade stat.”

 

Duran steps off of Van Siclen and taps the celebrating Jenkins on the shoulder. His natural reaction is to turn around and he’s flattened by a right hand from Duran. Night picks up MVS from the mat with a front facelock and cracks off a smooth snap suplex. Duran jerks Spike up and completely off his feet by the hair. He pitches him across the ring like a discus and he twirls spread eagle on the mat. Duran bends down to bring Craven up, simply for the pleasure of gripping him by the top of the thighs to spinebuster his ass back down.

 

Riley: “I think Duran showed how much he thinks of the new kid right there.”

 

Comet: “You have to remember Bobby, that nearly all our SWF superstars have spent some time in the SJL. Duran knows full well who Spike Jenkins is and what he’s capable of.”

 

Riley: “Hence him throwing Spike away like a Yinka Dare rookie card.”

 

Night brings MVS up with a front facelock. He puts a hand on his back to steady him and snaps off a DDT. Duran grips the top rope with both hands and rains the knees down on Craven. Spike scampers over on all fours and dives to clip Duran in the other leg. John twists around from the hit to find Jenkins and goes down with an elbow to the back of his neck. Spike remains tenacious and attempts to get his arms around the big man. Duran has no problems getting his arms around Spike’s slighter waist. He flips him up and out to the side as he stands. Duran advances a step and releases.

 

Comet: “Jackknife powerbomb by Duran! Dace Night has very smartly paired off with one man and is wearing him down bit by bit.”

 

Night wrenches MVS to his feet and forces him across the ring a step at a time with chop after chop to the chest. Duran looks down in disgust at Spike and lays the boots to him.

 

Riley: “Here comes Craven and he’s looking to exact some revenge on the Notorious One!”

 

Craven catches Duran from behind with a full nelson, possibly looking for another Nightfall slam. He doesn’t get it locked tight and Duran makes a standing switch. He interlocks his fingers in Craven’s short hair and lifts him up. Craven’s legs go up as he’s raised. Duran pushes him out and throws him down with extreme malice to rock the ring!

 

Comet: “Break point! Duran usually likes to lock in a body scissors here, but that would do him no good. He’s getting Craven back on his feet and doing the right thing by going for the elimination.”

 

Duran brings Michael up by the arm and hooks him for a hiptoss. He slides closer to the left side ropes and flicks Craven over for the floor. Once again, Michael snags the top rope with both hands and holds himself in place. The fans jeer and the smug King of Nightmares smirks. He yells at the fans and hangs there like he could do it all day. In the ring, MVS tries to shake Night by grabbing his wrist and whipping him for the far ropes. Night easily reverse to send Mike for the ride. MVS turns to take the ropes in the back and collides with something hard…namely Michael Craven hanging off the opposite side! The jolt is enough to break his grasp and he tumbles to the ground in a heap!

 

***************

MICHAEL CRAVEN

Entered: 1st

Exited: 2nd

Eliminated by: Mike Van Siclen

Eliminations: Manson

***************

Comet: “Citizen Craven’s trademark cock of the walk attitude has cost him here tonight. He thought he had everything under control, but was stricken by the fickle finger of fate.”

 

Riley: “I think maybe you’ve just been reading Jim Ross’s book of clichéd phrases. I’m sure Commissioner Stevens is cackling his fool head off in the back at this turn of events.”

 

MVS slumps against the ropes, smacking into Craven stopping his velocity. He’s been taking a beating at the hands of Dace Night and needs the breather. As pointed out earlier, that’s not a luxury one can take in a match like this. John Duran spins with building force. He crooks his arm and holds it to the side. It jackhammers into Van Siclen’s chest. His ribcage gives and every last breath leaves his tortured body. He blacks out for a second as he feels his body falling back. He comes to on top of Craven on the floor.

 

***************

MIKE VAN SICLEN

Entered: 2nd

Exited: 3rd

Eliminated by: John Duran

Eliminations: Manson, Michael Craven

***************

Comet: “Just like that two men are gone and we’re down to three.”

 

Riley: “Four.”

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Riley: “Make that four and a half. That dude is bigger than Duran.”

 

Comet: “It’s another former SWF World Champion, Aecas.”

 

Red lights dance across the arena. The camera pulls back to note the name “AECAS” with boiling blood underneath it on the SmarkTron. The seven-foot, 315-pound behemoth from England strides down the ramp with a staff over his head. He looks a bit miffed at not having the luxury of his full entrance, but the fans are speechless at his sight nonetheless. Upon reaching the bottom of the ramp, his thumb flicks an unseen switch and a blade swooshes from the staff. He throws his head back and spits a crimson cloud into the air. The mist clings over him and settles to stain his demonic face.

 

Riley: “This guy’s a fan favorite?”

 

Comet: “You want to tell him he’s not.”

 

MVS and Craven are arguing with the referees over their elimination. Aecas glides by them. He stares at them with his blank white eyes. The pair immediately waves their hands, signaling that all is cool and head for the back. Matthew Kivell asks for the scythe before Aecas enters the rings. He glares at him, then reluctantly hands it over.

 

Riley: “He could have taken that in the ring you know. Imagine the buys on the replay. You don’t get live decapitations in the Super Bowl.”

 

Aecas ascends to the ring apron, only to receive a full on right hand in the chest from John Duran!

 

Comet: “He just took Duran’s hardest shot and stood there like nothing happened.”

 

The fans go ballistic for this turn of events. Aecas looks briefly down at his chest and then stares at Duran with those blank eyes. Unimpressed, Duran spits a thick loogie on Aecas’ massive chest and rears back for another punch. He lets the fist fly…and its caught by Aecas! He squeezes the hand in his giant mitts and flicks Duran down to the mat. He steps over the ropes to enter the ring and waits for Duran to stand. Night and Jenkins were content to watch the entrance of the big man, but now the impetuous Spike tries to catch him off guard. He sprints to the bottom side ropes and leaps to the second strand. He springboards off for a cross body. Aecas plucks him out of the air and holds him across his chest. He flicks Spike over his head without a thought and motions Duran to stand. Night flies in with an elbow to the downed Spike and works him over on the mat.

 

Comet: “Dace Night continues to play his cards smartly and goes after Spike Jenkins in lieu of the two giants.”

 

Duran stands and the pair immediately lockup, but not for long as Aecas uses his prodigious strength and height to toss Duran into the near corner. Aecas stalks in. Duran fires off a kick to the nuts and Aecas bends over wheezing.

 

Riley: “You know what they say. Big hands, big feet, a lot more there to cheapshot.”

 

Duran takes Aecas by the head with both hands. They twist around each other in an awkward dance of the giants for a swinging neckbreaker. Night brings Jenkins up by a waistlock and lifts him up while falling rearwards for a back suplex. John Duran sits up and so does Aecas! The crowd pops and Duran’s eyes go wide and he realizes what’s going on behind him. Night rips Spike up by the hair and forces him to the ropes. They struggle while the other two competitors stand across the ring. Aecas waves the frustrated Duran in and he charges. He catches John with a knee to the stomach. He falls into the seven foot giant. Aecas reaches down to put a hand between his legs and the other on the man’s chest. He hoists the six foot eight, 268-pound grappler high overhead in a guerilla press.

 

Comet: “What an amazing display of strength!”

 

Flashbulbs pops and the sounds of awe fill the arena. Aecas turns toward the ring and takes a few giant steps forward. He brings Duran around and down to be slammed between his legs. The sound is thunderous and the impact nearly sends the still battling Night and Jenkins over the ropes.

 

Riley: “But not of brains. He should have tossed Duran out instead of trying to impress with the Mother F’n Bomb. Eliminations are impressive, not gay shit you made up while stoned.”

 

Spike takes the momentary distraction of Aecas’ big move to catch Night with an elbow to the jaw. He spins around holding his mouth and Spike takes him off his feet with a running bulldog. Aecas lifts Duran to his feet and deftly flips him on his shoulder in a powerslam position. He turns to face the far ropes and runs. Aecas can’t pick up that much speed and Duran has enough to time slip off his back to his feet. He pushes Aecas in the back to send him over the ropes, but he catches himself by the top strand. Jenkins tugs Night up by the wrist and slings him to the near corner. Spike does a backflip and leaps up to catch him with both boots to the face.

 

Comet: “Tidal Wave on Dace Night! And Aecas looks vulnerable for the first time since entering.”

 

Duran locks Aecas in a full nelson and drags from off the ropes. He grits his teeth, bends his knees and snaps back hard to get Aecas up and over his head for a dragon suplex! Both men lay on the canvas winded. Jenkins brings Dace up again by the wrist for a whip. He comes off the ropes and is flipped over on his back by a knee to the midsection.

 

Comet: “We’re ready for the next superstar! Will he set this match on fire like Aecas did!”

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Unfamiliar music hits and two shapely ring attendants stand to the side of the entrance stage with sparklers in their hands. The Smarktron flickers to life with famous wrestling images, but somehow they don’t quite look right. The vocals drop in on the song and it’s Elvis singing “A Little Less Conversation.”

 

Riley: “Now you’re going to see how this is done Comet. It’s the Memphis Eel!”

 

The fans boo on instinct and the Eel looks shocked as he struts out from the back. He observes the carnage in the ring and every so slowly shuffles down the ramp. Duran rises with Aecas still down while Spike tries to hurl Night out. Dace stops himself with a hand on the top rope and drills Spike in the nose with a back elbow.

 

Comet: “The Memphis Eel was a special referee for last year’s Clusterfuck and has worked as a road agent behind the scenes for the SJL since.”

 

Riley: “With them closing down, we finally get to see his triumphant return to the ring!”

 

Comet: “If he ever makes it to the ring.”

 

The Eel stops to point a finger at a heckler and yells at him. He hears something from behind and turns to yell at that guy. Matthew Kivell looks down at his watch and encourages the old school and just old grappler to get a move on.

 

Riley: “Hey, the rules state that a wrestler has until the horn sounds for the next entrant to enter the ring before being disqualified. Why not take your time? He’s genius!”

 

Duran makes his feet just as Aecas hits his knees. The Notorious One shows off now by taking Aecas from between the legs. He flips him upside down and yells before plowing his shoulder into the mat. The giant bounces over to his rear and puts a hand to his shoulder. Duran kicks it and drops with a double axehandle to the injured body part. Night goes low to corral Jenkins’ knees for a double leg takedown. He keeps his grip and falls back for a slingshot. He doesn’t have quite enough on it to get Spike up and over. He smacks the ropes and gets entwined with them. The Memphis Eel is nearly at the bottom of the ramp when his head goes up and he looks behind him like he forgot something. He goes to turn around, but Kivell snags him by the butterfly collar and leads him to the ring. The Eel shakes Kivell off and jaws at him.

 

Riley: “You tell him Eel! He should keep his damn dirty hands off of you.”

 

Comet: “I must say that I am perplexed by Citizen Eel’s strategy to win this match.”

 

Duran works a nerve hold on the shoulder, but Aecas easily powers up. Duran goes to a back rake and Aecas cringes from the sharp pain. John turns him around by the arm and hooks a facelock. He cinches the tights and lifts Aecas high into the air. His body tremors from the effort, but he holds him there for moments on end. Jenkins makes it out of the ropes and turns right into a Yakuza kick from Night. He goes down and rolls to the right. Night reacts too fast by dropping an elbow and strikes canvas. Duran falls forward, dropping Aecas face first with ka-blam!

 

Comet: “Gordbuster on Aecas! Both Night and Jenkins are down while the Memphis Eel seems…to be shedding his trinkets and handing them off to Eddy Long.”

 

The Eel makes a show of removing each ring from his fingers. He berates Long each time he hands him a piece of jewelry, telling him that he better not lose it and how it was a personal gift from the King. Kivell rolls his eyes at the ceremony and looks at his watch again.

 

Riley: “You can’t expect him to wrestle with all his rings and stuff on. You have to look good coming to the ring, but you have to be functional inside it.”

 

Duran lifts Aecas by the sides of the head and turns him over. He dips his body and takes the man on his back in a torture rack position.

 

Comet: “Duran is going for the Blunt Force Trauma. I’ll be amazed if he pulls this off on the seven foot monster.”

 

Duran struggles under the pounds awkwardly on his shoulders. Aecas throws his weight back and rolls John right off his feet with a fireman’s carry takedown variation. The fans pop as they jump to their feet. Jenkins and Night are back up as well. Night takes a punch from Hollywood and then levels him with a chop. Duran punches the shoulder he’s been working on as they stand. Aecas winces. Duran puts both hands on the shoulder and forces him to bend over as he drives his knee up into it. He takes the wrist and whips Aecas to the far corner. He takes the turnbuckles in the back hard and slumps, favoring that shoulder. Dace brings Spike up with a facelock and suplexes him. He stomps at the knee to keep him down. Duran growls at the jeering fans and lines up Aecas in his sights.

 

Comet: “I think Duran is going for the spear!”

 

Riley: “Oh my God! It’s incredible! The Eel is about ready to enter the ring!”

 

The Eel makes a showy flare of removing his huge, rose-colored sunglasses. He hands them off to Long and peers up at the clock on the SmarkTron ticking down. In the ring, Duran races toward Aecas, but nobody’s home! He dives out of the way at the last instant! Duran sails through the corner and impales his shoulder on the ring post!

 

5

4

3

2

1

The Memphis Eel sees the last second tick down and slides under the bottom rope.

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

“Meaning of Life” by Disturbed plays and another giant, angry young man in a slew of them emerges from the back. Jacob Helmsley also walks slowly to the ring, yet with a different connotation than the Eel. This is simply not a man you rush.

 

Riley: “What they hell were they feeding those kids in the JL. Mad cow beef?”

 

The Memphis Eel slides under the bottom rope to the outside and attempts to hide under the ring apron. Ced Ordonez spots him and yells. Long and Hall come over to help out. They all point for him to enter the ring.

 

Comet: “This is ridiculous. The Memphis Eel should be disqualified right now.”

 

Riley: “I’m telling you, it’s strategy. Don’t fight until you have to, hell don’t fight at all. You just call what’s going on in the ring, Comet.”

 

Helmsley enters the ring to find Aecas starting up with Duran still wedged in the corner. Night has Jenkins slung over the ropes, trying to push him over. Spike doggedly hangs onto the middle rope and tries to regain his footing. Jake hangs back and observes with a keen and wicked eye. Duran pushes himself out of the corner and plops down to all fours, totally dazed. Aecas makes a half circle around him and climbs all the way to the top rope. The fans pop as he holds his arms out to the side. Aecas leaps and twists to land with both feet squarely on top of Duran’s head and neck! His face is buried in the mat and his body goes still. Helmsely shakes his head, approving of the creative brutality.

 

Comet: “Aecas hits the M Bison!”

 

Riley: “Did I already use the line about stupid shit people make up while stoned?”

 

Comet: “Yes.”

 

Riley: “Never mind then.”

 

Night continues to work on getting Spike out while the refs work on getting the Eel in. Aecas brings the comatose Duran up into a facelock and lifts him vertically. He staggers to the near ropes and leans over them while releasing Duran! He plummets on a release brainbuster suplex and spikes the ground below!

 

***************

JOHN DURAN

Entered: 5th

Exited: 4th

Eliminated by: Aecas

Eliminations: Mike Van Siclen

***************

Comet: “John Duran has been eliminated by the sheer power of the SJL rookie!”

 

Duran was dropped on the same side of the floor that the officials and the Memphis Eel were on. The refs immediately rush to check on Duran and the Eel seizes the opportunity to run under the apron and hide…almost. The fans scream for Aecas as he reaches over the ropes with his long arms to snag the Eel by his greased back hair. He lifts him to the apron as he screams like a baby in need of a diaper change. Aecas lets his feet rest on the apron for a moment before slinging him over the ropes and down on his rear. Aecas moves in on him, but Helmsley finally decides to act and blindsides the giant with a forearm to the damaged shoulder.

 

Comet: “Jacob Helmsley proves he was watching in the back and knows just where to attack Aecas to get the drop on him.”

 

The heel scoots away from the pair as Jacob clubs him down with forearm after forearm to the right shoulder blade. The Eel stands and furiously smoothes his hair into place. Not paying attention, he bumps into Dace Night. Night turns and drills him with a chop to the chest out of instinct. The Eel falls, more tripping on the huge heels of his boots than from the chop. Night lets Spike fall to turf and pursues the Eel as he back into the corner. The boy from Memphis puts his hands up and begs for mercy.

 

Comet: “Citizen Eel is nothing, but a coward.”

 

Riley: “Courage only gets you killed. Let’s see them put that on an army recruitment poster.”

 

Jenkins dives in with a knee clip to Night. They tussle on the canvas and role into the Eel. He squeals and puts his hands up like a dainty lady afraid to get dirty and runs away.

 

Riley: “I don’t want to hear it Comet.”

 

Jacob Helmsley feels he’s beaten on the shoulder enough and rips Aecas back up by it. He goes to hip toss him out, but Aecas blocks out the pain and attempts to hip toss Helmsley out. Jake blocks and twists to face Aecas and lands a kick to the gut. He doubles over straight into a facelock. Helmsely falls back in one deft, complete motion for an evenflow DDT! He sits up, paying no attention to the jeering crowd. Helmsley looms over Aecas and proceeds to dig his nails into the flesh of the shoulder. Aecas howls like a beast more than a man. Jacob continues to pour on the pressure. Spike pulls away from Night and stands while keeping him down by a kick to the head. Jenkins takes the top rope with both hands and kicks Dace repeatedly. The Memphis Eel slides in to help out and kicks Dace too. Spike stops and looks at the Eel. The Eel stops and looks at Spike. The Memphis Eel points behind Spike and screams. He turns, sees nothing and comes back around to be punched right in the mouth. The Eel gives on last kick to Dace and runs away again.

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Riley: “Oh, is it time for the heavy hitters already.”

 

Riley’s sarcastic response is for Xero running through the curtain to Metallica’s “Frantic.” He slides under the bottom rope and quickly to his feet. He surveys the ring and finds the Eel to be the only person on his feet. The heel tries to back off, but Xero catches him around the neck, kicks his feet out and knocks him cold with a DDT!

 

Comet: “Citizen Xero is in and he’s a house of fire!”

 

Riley: “I lost the Xero pool, because he’s still in after three seconds, but I believe I’m in the lead on the Comet clichés pool.”

 

Spike is recovering from the sucker punch with a hand on his jaw. He turns around to find Xero flying at him with a wild leg lariat. Dace pulls himself up by the ropes, tired and beaten up. Xero kips up and slides into Night to take him by the neck. He kicks off the ropes, twists and turns like a top and rips Night off his feet with a tornado DDT. Helmsley stands up from Aecas and goes over to intercept Xero.

 

Comet: “Xero was taking out everything in sight, but Jacob Helmsely puts a stop to it with a big hand around his throat.”

 

Riley: “Someone call the paramedics, I think the Memphis Eel is dead!”

 

The Memphis Eel lies in the upper right ring corner with his hands folded across his chest like a man in a casket, not moving. Helmsley lifts Xero high off the ground. He can feel the man’s Adam’s apple pulse under his hand as he gulps for breath. Aecas turns over to all fours and leaps up from that position to tackle Jake around the knees. Xero slips out of his hand and crumples to the mat. Helmsley goes down with Aecas clawing up his body to take him out. Jake works a foot loose and plows it into the shoulder. Aecas stops and Helmsley grabs the ropes to pull himself free. Xero wobbly stands to find Dace Night and Spike Jenkins waiting on him. The each put a facelock on Xero and hit a double DDT out of spite on the DDT king!

 

Comet: “Xero gets a dose of his own medicine. Night and Jenkins have him up and it looks like they’re going to throw him out. Helmsley is vertical again and stomps that bad shoulder of Aecas.”

 

Riley: “The Eel is worm chow. We will be accepting donations to his grieving family. Just make the checks out to Bobby Riley.”

 

Night and Jenkins push Xero over the ropes, but he hits the apron and rolls back in. They take him by the wrists and whip Xero for the far ropes. The pair bend over for a double backdrop, but Xero pulls up, snakes an arm a piece around their necks and nails a different kind of double DDT. Jacob pulls Aecas up and short arms him into the ropes. He uses the little velocity to get him off his feet. He twists him around and kneels to stick his left knee out. Aecas lands back first across the knee and Jake follows by grinding an elbow into the bad shoulder. Xero darts up and launches himself at Helmsley to catch him in the back with a leg lariat. Xero rolls through the move to land in the ropes with both feet firm. He springs off and twirls to land on the back of the now prone Helmsley with a leg drop.

 

Riley: “Who has been spiking that boy’s Ovaltine? He’s going to get murdered out there. Not that it would make me cry.”

 

The Eel lifts his head slightly and opens one eye. He sees Night and Jenkins starting up and quickly goes back to lying still. Xero pulls Jake up and goes to whip him to the ropes. Helmsely reverses and Xero flies off of his feet into the far strands. He comes off like a shot and is nearly decapitated by a big boot. Spike goes for Jake, but Night catches him by the arm and swings him around to go over the top rope. He strikes the apron and holds onto the bottom rope while Night tries to kick him out from there. Aecas is on his knees and Jake goes to him down with a kick to the shoulder. He catches the boot to earn a pop from the crowd and upends the Calgary native. Spike squeezes away from Dace and scampers across the ring. Aecas sees him coming and hits a clothesline. Helmsley stands up right in Night’s path to cut him off and they go brawling off into the far corner.

 

Comet: “Helmsley and Aecas had a bit of a blood feud going on there for awhile, but they get broken up.”

 

Riley: “I tell you that’s a match I wouldn’t mind seeing and we’re going to see a lot of exciting new match ups now that the SJL guys have been brought up. Geez, I’m not paid enough to say this kind of crap.”

 

Aecas puts Spike on his shoulder and lumbers across the ring. He takes a short hop and jackhammers him down for a powerslam. A recovered Xero dives in with a double axe handle on Aecas as he rises. He seems little effected, but a follow up punch to the bad shoulder sends him reeling. Jacob has his arms around Night in a bear hug. He tries to suplex him out of the corner, but Dace holds his ground and belly to bellies Helmsley over the ropes. He slips slightly, but gains his footing on the apron. Dace turns around and takes a swishing clothesline. He stumbles away and Jake goes up top from the outside. He waits for Night to get into position and then comes off, his body in a tight rotation. He straightens out at the last to send his feet square into Night’s face and both men go flying across the ring.

 

Comet: “Helmsley hits the corkscrew, just in time for out next competitor at number eleven.”

 

5

4

3

2

1

A-UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Blue and white pyros light up the stage while “How I Could Just Kill a Man” by Cypress Hill lights up the sound system. Stryke comes through the fire to a chorus of boos. He quickly strides down the ramp with a single minded determinedness flaring from his eyes.

 

Comet: “It’s Stryke! He hasn’t done much in the SWF lately and this match might be his swan song.”

 

Riley: “To toss out a cliché of my own, it’s put up or shut up time for him. He’s sworn to win here tonight or else. I like the guy, but I think or else might be his fate.”

 

Comet: “If he doesn’t win Stryke says he will retire from wrestling forever.”

 

Riley: “Which in wrestling means about three weeks.”

 

 

From this point here was the plan. The ring would keep loading up until Thugg got in and he would toss everybody, but Dace, Stryke and the Eel. For the rest of the match Thugg and Night would just pitch everybody with Stryke on the brink of elimination a million times and the Eel just lying low and playing the coward. Then when Grappler comes in, he sneaks up behind Dace working on Stryke and dumps both of them. Thugg and Grappler then go at it with the Eel sneaking in cheapshots. I knew that I was going to have Grappler blade off of a double axehandle from the top rope by the Eel. Thugg was going to his finisher on the Eel, then Matthews hits his on Thugg. Thugg barely gets the shoulder up, hulks up, kicks Grappler's ass, hits a chokeslam, then the Eel rolls him up from behind out of nowhere while holding the tights for the pin. Thugg flips out and chases the Eel out through the crowd.

[King Cucaracha 0]

*sighs* Good start. Feedback not just appreciated, but it seems needed too.

 

 

 

“And we’re back!”

 

It's mine, it's pure and as decent as I can make myself.

Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.

 

With the musical stylings of “Only The Strong” by Flaw, the appropriately chosen theme song for the night, playing in the background…the scene returns back to the Gund Arena, with the camera hovering high overhead to give a panoramic view of the sold-out crowd. The Cleveland faithful rise to their feet to try and get the smallest glimpse of themselves on the big screens around the arena, as their cheers begin to break in through the music. After a few seconds of panning the crowd, the camera shot cuts away to ringside where the crowd are still getting over the Ladder Match from moments earlier. In their usual position at ringside sit your SWF announce team for the night...and, well...every night.

 

"Welcome back to the SWF's 2004 presentation of Clusterfuck! I'm Bobby Riley, and..." Bobby sighs. "...sitting beside me is..."

"...CYCLOOOOOONE COOOMMMEEET!!!"

"Yeah...great Cyclone. Thanks." Bobby again sighs.

"Bobby, it would be fair to say that tonight is a night of reckoning for many SWF superstars..." Cyclone booms, either not noticing or simply ignoring Riley's distain towards him.

"Yes Cyclone I would. And might I add, you read that autocue very well." Riley replies smirking.

"Autocue...I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about Citizen Riley..."

"Sure you don't...just get on with it, would ya...'partner'."

"Please don't call me that." Cyclone replies. "I've heard stories about you calling people that…”

 

 

Commence awkward silence.

 

 

“…anywho citizens…we’re ready to unify the SWF United States and SJL Undisputed Championships in our next match. The veteran Andrew Blackwell and the recent SWF addition Landon Maddix…two men who’d be very evenly matched, if it were not for Blackwell’s superior experience. And it’s that experience which will give Sacred the advantage toni…”

“Experience exshmeriance Comet!" snaps Riley. "Landon Maddix is unbeaten in his last ten matches, that has to count for something."

"Certainly citizen Riley. Nobody is saying Landon isn't a worthy champion. However, you have to say...a win tonight for Landon would be seen as a major shock. After all...Sacred has years worth of experience in the SWF, while Maddix is making his SWF debut. It should however be a great match...your classic veteran versus up-and-comer clash. Without any further ado, let's send it up to the ring..."

 

"Ladies and gentlemen..." booms Funyon, bringing the murmering crowd to attention instantly. "...the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will unify the SJL Undisputed and SWF United States Championships!" Funyon pauses for a moment, as the crowd cheer.

 

 

Slowly, the lights in the Gund dim down to near darkness, bringing about a buzz from the crowd...

 

 

"DON'T CHU WANNA BE MEEEEE!!!"

 

"Don't You Wish You Were Me?" by Fozzy hits as the crowd boo, knowing that the new music must mark the entrance of Landon Maddix. From the stage four bright lights snap on, illuminating the arena as they flash two at a time into the darkness. Still the crowd continue their boos for a while, as the music runs through into the lyrics.

 

"I see, the way, you look at me...

You envy me (you envy me)...and it's killing you! (eating you alive)

And you know it makes me smile, when I look in the mirror...

Thinkin' how good it is to be king...

 

 

AND DON'T YOU WISH YOU WERE ME..."

 

 

The curtains suddenly ripple and out from the back steps the SJL Undisputed Champion himself Landon Maddix, clutching the European Title in his left hand, and more proudly the newly won SJL World Title in his right as he steps forward into bright white spotlight, thrusting his arms outwards to display both of his belts. The crowd respond to this mainly boos...although some isolated areas of the Gund are still in 'SJL last show mode', and show him a little respect. As the song in the background moves into the lyrics, Landon turns his head back to the curtain as through steps Megan Skye, looking suspiciously more glamorous than usual in a shimmering silver halter top and matching pants.

 

Together the two begin to walk down the ramp, bringing the lights back to normal...

 

"Introducing first..." Funyon voice cuts into the scene. "...accompanied to the ring by 'The Toddess', Megan Skye! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota...he weighs in tonight at two hundred and eight pounds. The newly crowned SJL Undisputed Champion, who tonight is making his SWF debut...he is the Disciple of Todd. He is...LAAAAANDON 'LA CUCARACHA' MAAADDIIIX!!!"

 

Maddix thrusts his gold laden arms out again upon hearing his name, almost catching an over-zealous fan in the jaw with the European belt in his intensity. As his actions are greeted with more boos, Maddix turns around and gives a disincredulous look to a couple of fans comically dressed as The Memphis Eel, before he walks on down the rampway...Megan doing her job by looking pretty behind him. Maddix reaches the apron, and places both of his belts down upon it before hopping up, and extending his arm out to help Megan do the same. Landon then gentlemanly holds the ropes open for Megan, allowing her to get into the ring. Rather than follow, Maddix scoops up his titles again and climbs to the outside of the middle ropes, and holds his gold cockily in the air once more.

 

"For those of you unaware, Landon Maddix won both of those belts from fellow JL bumpee Alan Clark." Bobby begins to clarify. "The second of those wins came last week in this very arena, and that was to become the World Champion...and it meant Landon also completed the JL grand slam of titles. So this 'kid' is certainly not to be taken lightly."

"I agree Bobby." Cyclone agrees. "Landon is a great talent...but this is the big stage. There's no Todd Royal to back him up, he..."

"Err...I disagree with that." Bobby disagrees. "Landon doesn't neccessarily need Todd around...after all, he's got Megan there to..."

"Cheat for him?"

"I wasn't going to say that..."

"I know, that's why I interrupted to say it for you."

 

Megan struts her fine self over to the corner and takes both belts from Landon, before he leaps into the ring over the top rope...removing his new 'Now Entering: The House Of Todd' t-shirt, and passing that too to Megan.

 

 

"Don't You Wish You Were Me" suddenly cuts...and at that precise moment, the picture suddenly begins to shake and scramble, the SmarkTron becoming fuzzy too as the crowd notice and begin to boo. Suddenly they're interrupted by the voice of Andrew Blackwell...

 

 

“…There is nothing wrong with your television set…“

 

“…Do not attempt to adjust the picture…”

 

 

“…I will control the horizontal…”

 

 

“…I will control the vertical….”

 

 

“…I am controlling transmission…”

 

 

The picture quickly return back to normal, as slowly the lights once more dim. Through the darkness, "Tainted" by Lycia begins to hauntingly play through the darkened arena, as spotlights fixed to the sides of the ramp switch on to reveal the US Champion Andrew 'Sacred' Blackwell stood at the top of the ramp. With his eyes focused towards the ring Blackwell slowly paces down the rampway, the spotlights turning and following him as he does so. Showing little emotion and not responding to now loud booing which rings out around him, Blackwell simply continues to pace his way down towards the ring...eyes locked on his opponent, as he is busy warming up.

 

"And the opponent..." Funyon again interrupts. "...hailing from Adelaide, Australia. Tonight he weighs in at two hundred and sixteen pounds. He is the SWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION...and he claims to be ‘The Australian of the Year’...he is ANDREW BLACKWELL...he is SAAAAACRRREEED!!!"

 

The crowd boo at the mere mention of the United States Champion's name, as he slowly climbs up the steps to the ring apron. The lights begin to return back to normal once more, as Sacred enters through the middle rope...unstraping his US Title belt from around his waist and raising it in the air as he does so.

 

"There's the US Champion...kinda ironic that he's an Australian, eh Cyclone?" Riley comments.

"Well, then it's ironic that Landon is European Champion too."

"Ah..." Riley starts smugly, obviously seeing the chance to sound intelligent. "...you see, Landon mother was Spanish though...so he's half European. You really should have done your homework on these juniors Cyclone...you're going to be clueless in the Clusterfuck."

 

Passing his US Title belt to referee Nick Soapdish, as the referee quickly turns around and waits for Megan Skye to do the same with Landon's titles. Meanwhile, the music has now died down, now replaced by the buzz of the Cleveland crowd. Megan finally starts to pass the titles towards Soapdish, only for Maddix to step in between them...taking his European Title belt, and kissing it for good luck before passing it himself to Soapdish. Landon does the same with the World Title, passing that to Soapdish as he quickly gathers up the three pieces of gold in his arms, and raises all of them in the air as best he can. Both men look upwards at the gleaming gold, knowing what is at stake...as Sopadish bundles the belts in his arms again and calls for the bell...

 

*DING DING*

 

The bell rings, as Soapdish passes the belts to the outside. Again Landon holds up the middle rope to allow Megan to climb out of the ring, all the while Sacred watching on with a impatient look about him. Megan jumps down to the floor, to a fair few wolf whistles from the nearby crowd, as Landon turns back toward Blackwell, who glares over at him threateningly. Stalling for time a little, Landon first 'makes sure Megan is ok', and then decides to converse with her on some strategy. In kneeling down to talk to her however, Landon takes his eyes off Sacred who sees this and begins to walk threateningly towards him. Before he can reach Landon, the JL Champ is notified by Megan, and he quickly wheels around to face Blackwell, backed up in a corner but trying his best not to look intimidated. The face off between the two is brief before Sacred balls up his fist and reaches back, ready to swing...

 

...before Maddix ducks between the top and middle ropes, prompting Soapdish to have to step in and pull Sacred away.

 

"Landon seems to be stalling for time at the moment..." Cyclone points out. "Which, I guess he's entitled to do..."

"Of course he is Cyclone!" snaps Riley. "When he's backed into a corner with Sacred ready to knock his lights out, he's going to duck out of dodge. When he's not ready to fight and Sacred's closing in on him, he's going to wait until he's ready to fight."

 

With Sacred a safe distance away Landon finally comes out from between the top and middle ropes, and steps out of the corner. Sacred steps forward himself and suddenly both men meet in the centre of the ring, both with their eyes locked on each other. Blackwell glares deep into the youngster's eyes and starts to talk some trash to him, the words not loud enough to be heard by anyone other than Maddix over the still buzzing crowd. Still Blackwell talks and talks, a good twenty seconds passing before he finally stops talking...as Maddix just smiles smarmily to himself. Realising his words didn't get the point across, Blackwell reels back and slaps the taste out of Maddix's mouth, sending Maddix reeling back a couple of steps from the force!

 

 

"OOOOOH!"

 

Staggering around, his equilibrium rocked, Maddix holds his cheek as he steps back towards Blackwell. Blackwell again starts to say something, as Maddix takes his hand away from his cheek, and gives Sacred the fakingly scared 'boogedy woogedy' finger gesture (™ Scott Hall)...

 

SMACK!

 

...getting another, harder slap around the jaw which again sends him rocking backwards!

 

"Well, we knew Sacred would show no respect to this youngster..." Cylone begins.

"And he's gotten none back, that's for damn sure!" Riley says, with the slightest hint of satisfaction in his voice.

 

Angrily Maddix steps back to where he was, only to get a boot to the gut from Sacred, and a hard right hand as the match is finally up and running. Another hard right snaps Maddix's neck back violently and nearly takes him off his feet...the JL Champion only just keeping his balance. Grabbing hold of Landon's wrist Sacred pulls him forward...locking his arm so that Maddix only reaches Sacred's arm length in distance before the US Champion tugs him back again, this time irish whipping him into the opposite ropes. Upon hitting the ropes however Landon hooks both his arms around the top rope, stopping himself in his tracks. Before Sacred even has time to react, Maddix gains his bearing, and drops down, rolling out of the ring.

 

"BOOOOO!!!"

 

The crowd voice their displeasure at Maddix stalling actions, as Sacred tries to go out after Landon but gets stopped by referee Nick Sopadish. Quickly on the outside Megan scuttles around to where Landon frustratedly stands, taking a towel which was tucked in her pants, handing it to Landon to allow him to 'towel off'.

 

"Why exactly does Landon need to take time out to towel off here Bobby? He hasn't done anything that'd cause him to break into a sweat...hell, he hasn't done anything except take a couple of punches."

"Maybe Landon has a perspiration problem? How should I know? I'm not his doctor, I'm not Landon Maddix. Maybe he likes the feel of the towel...maybe he used some new fabric softener on it..."

"Ok, ok...it was a rhetorical question Bobby." Cyclone sighs, stopping Riley's ranting.

"I...I knew that..."

 

Soapdish angrily shouts at Landon to get back into the ring, as he passes the towel back to Megan. Slowly Landon climbs back up onto the apron...prompting Sacred to move forward, which in turn causes Landon to jump back down to the outside and Soapdish to have to step in Sacred's way again. The crowd are growing more and more impatient, certain nearby sections yelling abuse at Landon as he paces around the ringside area, trying to focus himself on the match. Sacred too is growing ever impatient, as finally Landon jumps up to the apron. Maddix instructs Soapdish to keep Sacred back, allowing him to finally step back into the ring.

 

 

From somewhere Blackwell finds some self restraint as Landon begins to circle the ring, showing more signs of nerves than he had done previously. Sacred slowly circles the ring too before both men end up in the middle of the ring, and lunge forward into a collar and elbow tie-up. Evenly matches for strength the two jostle for position for a few seconds, referee Soadpish making sure to check for any pulling of hair...before Sacred finally thrusts Landon's head downward and locks on a side headlock. Sacred wrenches back on the head and neck, tightening up the headlock as much as he can. Looking for an escape Landon starts to fire right hands to the side of Blackwell until the hold is weakened...and then tries to push Sacred off into the ropes...

 

...only for Sacred to grab onto a sneaky handful of hair to stop himself, and also to pull Landon back into the headlock. Referee Soapdish is oblivious to what happened, as Sacred re-tightens the headlock, ignoring Megan's angered yells on the outside.

 

"Sacred...ever the ring general..."

"How is that the work of a ring general citizen Riley?" questions Comet. "That, to me, is the work of a dishonorable wrestler."

"Whatever Cyclone...a tug of the hair here or there doesn't prevent someone from being a ring general."

 

Again Maddix is quick to fire off right hands to the side of Sacred, this time taking a couple more to suitably weaken the US Champion before pushing him off. Again Sacred grabs onto the hair of Landon to pull him back, but this time Soapdish catches sight of it and orders Sacred into a break. Angrily he does so, the break allowing Maddix to grab Blackwell by the wrist and irish whip him into the ropes. Blackwell comes back off as Maddix swings out his right arm, but misses the clothesline as Sacred ducks underneath. Sacred continues on to the oppositie ropes, grabbing Landon wrist as he comes back and forcing him into the ropes, changing the momentum swiftly. Blackwell waits, and catches Landon coming back with a hiptoss attempt...

 

 

...which Landon twists out of in midair, landing on his feet beautifully. Quickly gaining his bearings again, Landon hooks one arm under each of Sacred's armpits and hoists him into the air. Taking a moment too long to do anything with Blackwell however, Landon is caught out as Sacred floats over the top of him avoiding any possible impact from Landon, and taking him over with a sunset flip...

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

 

...Landon slams his feet together, sandwiching Sacred's head in between, allowing him to roll out of the pin. As soon as he lands up on his hands and knees, Landon quickly scurries backwards out of the ring, a frustrated look on his face as he again takes a breather.

 

"Once again Landon rolling to the outside..." Cyclone says sounding frustrated at the break in action.

"A smart move Cyclone. It breaks Sacred's obvious momentum, and it also gives Landon a chance to think out a new strategy..."

 

Megan begins to scuttle around the ring again over towards Landon, but suddenly thinks better of it, as Sacred has broken away from Soapdish, and rolled to the outside of the ring. Landon doesn't see Sacred coming, until it's too late, as he gets floored with a big clothesline from Blackwell, crashing backwards onto the thin protective mats at ringside with a thud!

 

Without relenting, Sacred grabs a hold of Maddix by the hair and drags him up from the floor. The collision with the floor seems to have dazed Maddix a bit as he is unable to fight back against Landon, sent flying forwards into the ring apron. Landon rolls back into the ring quickly, trying to get away...but Blackwell is quick to follow in behind him. Frantically, Landon tries to scramble away from Blackwell, but the US Champion is right on his tail, grabbing a hold of Landon by the shorts and dragging him to his feet. Landon tries to snap back with a back elbow, but Blackwell sees it coming and ducks. With Landon's right arm now caught behind his back, Sacred adjusts his position and locks on a waistlock, popping his hips instantly to take Landon over with a german suplex...bridging for a cover...

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

 

...kickout by Landon.

 

Sacred releases the bridge, getting to his feet quickly and landing a stomp directly to the back of Landon's head. Another follows before Blackwell finally allows Landon to reach his feet, which he is slow to do. Blackwell waits and pushes Landon backwards, sending him into the corner before charging quickly in with a follow-up clothesline. Quickly Sacred grabs hold of Landon's right arm and pulls him forwards, Landon unable to stop himself from being whipped into the corner, or from crashing sternum first VICIOUSLY into the turnbuckles. All the wind is immediately driven out of Landon's body, as he rebounds off the top turnbuckle and crashes to the mat.

 

"The force and velocity on that irish whip was incredible from Andrew Blackwell! Maddix couldn't stop himself!" Cyclone comments in amazement.

 

Landon lays gasping for breath on the mat, as Blackwell takes his time about walking over to follow up. Bending his leg, Sacred drops an unforgiving knee right across the forehead of Landon, quickly dropping into a lateral press moments later...

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

...Two count only.

 

Clambering up cooly and calmly, Sacred pulls Landon up to his feet with him with a hold of the hair. Getting to his feet he drves an elbow into the back of the neck, followed up with a second and third in quick succession. Landon slumps back to his knees from the effects of them, only for Blackwell to pull him right back up and lock his hands around Landon's waist. With a twist, Blackwell takes Landon over with a perfectly executed belly to belly throw, Maddix ending up landing across the neck again. Quick as a flash Blackwell scrambles across the mat, grabbing a hold of Landon's right arm as he lays face down on the mat, and pulling backwards on it with a fujiwara armbar.

 

"Smart ring strategy by Blackwell...working over the neck for the Cruel Fate, but also with the arm if he needs to use the Narcosynthesis." comments Cyclone.

"It's smarter than you think Cyclone." Riley adds. "Alan Clark utilised this move in the first fall of that triple threat unification match last week. Sacred's obviously done his homework here for this match."

 

Leaning back with all his might, Sacred pulls back on the arm with a look of intensity on his face. Referee Soapdish drops down to his knees by Landon to check for a submission, Landon desperately reaching out for the ropes despite being quite a way away. In his desperation Landon grabs hold of Soapdish's shirt to try and use him for an escape, but Soapdish shrugs him off...just as Blackwell wrenches back on the arm again, causing Landon to yelp out in pain.

 

"Sacred looks to have this hold hooked in perfectly..." Comet comments. "It's going to take a big effort from Landon to escape here."

 

Megan can only watch on in despair from the outside, willing Landon on...but he is trapped. As Blackwell ruthlessly continues to try and pull Landon's arm out from the socket, slowly Maddix begins to attempt an escape, trying to crawl towards the ropes. However, with every crawl he is carrying two hundred and sixteen pounds on a weak arm...so doesn't get very far before having to stop again. With another vicious wrench back, Blackwell lets out a shout of intensity...an equally loud shout out in pain coming from Landon as he suddenly raises his arm in the air, possibly ready to tap...

 

 

 

...NO...

 

...Landon begins to crawl towards the ropes once more, gritting his teeth through the ever increasing pain as he goes. Slowly but surely Landon begins to get nearer and nearer to the ropes, until he is just metres away...

 

 

...at which point, Sacred breaks the hold. Keeping a grip on Landon's arm, Sacred pulls the JL Undisputed Champion to his feet and drives the point of his elbow directly into the shoulder. A second time Sacred drives downwards onto Landon's weakened shoulder, again tightening a standing armbar grip on the arm after doing so. Now able to run, Maddix tries to do so...but Sacred's grip on his arm is strong enough to stop Landon from getting away. Quickly Blackwell pulls Landon back by the arm and into a short arm clothesline which nearly decapitates Maddix.

 

"Blackwell is dominant at the moment..." Cyclone points out. "You know you've got a match going your way when you can release a hold like a fujiwara armbar, when you want to, and still be in control of proceedings."

"Well Landon's got to mount a comeback soon...I don't think he's actually got in any 'actual' offense in the entire match!"

 

As Landon lays hurt on the mat, Blackwell pulls his arm from underneath him, laying it flat on the mat and stepping onto Landon's hand to keep it there whilst he raises his arms in the air, to a reception of boos throughout the crowd. Crouching down, Sacred places his hand on Landon's, before leaping up into the air and driving his knee down right onto the shoulder joint. Again pushing himself into the air, Blackwell brings his knee down onto the arm a second time as Maddix shouts out in pain again on impact. Suddenly, Sacred drops down and tries to lock on the fujiwara armbar again, Maddix frantic in trying to find a counter. Managing to get to his hands and knees quickly, Landon rolls forward and out of the potential hold, but Sacred still clutches onto his wrist.

 

"Sacred is relentless on that arm..." observes Riley. "He's picked a bodypart, gone to work...now that is the work of a true ring general Cyclone."

 

Landon pulls himself up to his feet, and fires a left forearm into the jaw of Sacred...the blow not strong enough to break his grip on Landon's wrist. Again Maddix fires the left forearm in the jaw, again Blackwell's neck snaps back from the impact, but again he hangs on to the wrist with both hands. Reeling back, Maddix looks for a third...

 

 

...but Sacred grabs a handful of hair, yanking Maddix down to the mat and allowing him to lock on an armbar. The crowd boo Blackwell's blatant cheating, as again Megan is furious on the outside as Soapdish missed it. Through the commotion from Megan and the crowd Blackwell stays ice cool as he pulls back on Landon's arm, the JL Undisputed Champion not looking much like a champion at the moment.

 

"U...S...A!

 

U...S...A!

 

U...S...A!"

 

 

The patriotic Cleveland natives chant up their chanting, as Sacred looks angry at their direspect. As the chants build, he begins to yell out at the crowd to shut up...but, obviously, that doesn't work. Meanwhile, Landon seems to be hearing these chants, and looks like he's ready to rally. Pulling himself up to his knees, Landon's body is shaking from adrenaline and the crowd's chants as he gets to his feet...and fires a left hand to the face!

 

"This crowd is suddenly getting behind Maddix!" shouts Cyclone over the noise. "This I did not expect!"

"Me neither." concurs a stunned Riley. "I thought Maddix hates these fans?"

"He does...but they hate Andrew Blackwell!"

 

 

Sacred tightens up his grip on the arm, as Maddix hits another left hand...rocking him back a bit, but not breaking the hold. Suddenly, Megan Skye jumps up onto the apron in Landon's view, Soapdish having to run over towards her to prevent her entering the ring...

 

 

...WHICH ALLOWS LANDON TO HIT A LOW KICK!!!

 

 

 

The crowd suddenly stop their USA chants, and start up some heavy boos, as Sacred collapses to the mat with his legs clutched together.

 

 

"AH HA..HA!!!" guffaws Riley. "These fans were cheering Maddix on...and he booted Sacred 'Down Under'! That shut them up."

"That's despicable." Cyclone snaps dissaprovingly. "These citizens were cheering Maddix on..."

"And he didn't care!"

"I'm appalled..."

"I'm ectatic! That was great Cyclone, admit it!"

 

Megan jumps down from the apron, a smug smile on her devious face as Soapdish turns around, to see Landon on his knees clutching his shoulder in pain, and Sacred clutching his nether regions in an equal amount of discomfort. A suspicious Soapdish questions Maddix about Sacred's 'situation', but he just shrugs his good shoulder...before pushing Soapdish aside and driving the flat of his boot into Sacred's gut repeatedly.

 

 

"LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!"

 

The Cleveland crowd show their anger at Landon's unappreciation for their support, as he just grins through gritted teeth while looking out at them. Slowly Blackwell begins to pull himself up, as Landon is waiting for him...

 

 

SLAP!

 

"WHOO!"

 

Landon nails a lefthanded knifedge chop...

 

 

SLAP!

 

"WHOO!"

 

...and a second, before weakly irish whipping Blackwell into the ropes. As The Sacred One comes back off the ropes he manages to duck Landon's lefthanded clothesline attempt, turning on his heels and going for a clothesline of his own. Landon sees it coming, ducking under and hooking his right arm under Sacred's head...popping his hips, and looking for the Exploder Suplex...

 

...but he can't get Sacred up. In the end, he has to release Blackwell to clutch hold of his injured right arm, which gives Sacred the chance to hit a quick boot to the gut. Landon doubles over, as quickly Sacred runs off the ropes. As he comes back, Landon suddenly springs into the air majestically, coming down at just the right time and height to catch Sacred running in with a standing dropkick. Shrugging off the pain in his arm, Landon drops into a lateral press...

 

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

...Kickout.

 

Maddix gets quickly back to his feet, not allowing Sacred to get up...instead driving his boot hard into the ribs to halt him. As Sacred lays hurting on the floor, slowly trying to get to his feet, Landon walks away and to the corner...climbing out onto the apron and starting to ascend to the top rope.

 

"Finally Landon has the chance to fly...after being grounded all match by Sacred, Landon finally gets to utilise what brought him to the SWF dance..."

 

By the time Landon, with the bad arm of course, manages to get to the top...Sacred is up on his feet, but looks slightly lost. As he slowly turns, Landon springs off the top rope...hurtling through the air like a scud missile, his speed and accuracy good enough to crash headfirst into the face of Sacred with the 'Prepare for Landon', and take the US Champion off his feet from the impact. As Sacred hits the mat, Maddix does too...landing awkwardly, but he is still able to make a cover as Soapdish dives over for the count...

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

 

 

...TWOOO!

 

 

"Landon's getting closer and closer." observes Riley. "That US Title is by no means out of sight."

 

Maddix again gets back to his feet, as Blackwell is close behind him in doing the same. Both men are a little groggy from the spectacular collision of heads, Blackwell the worse as Maddix manages to kick him hard in the head as he gets to his knees. Right now Landon just seems to want Sacred on the mat...no real strategy being displayed, apart from desperation to keep Sacred from getting up. Another boot connects with the head, before Landon stops and yells out to the crowd that he 'doesn't suck'...a fair few yelling back 'you suck' in response.

 

SLAP!

 

"WHOOO!"

 

In the time Maddix had turned away to the crowd, Sacred managed to get to his knees and fire a knifedge chop to the chest of Maddix. After the moment of pain, Landon shrugs off the chop and drives his knee into the kneeling Sacred's jaw to knock him back down. The crowd meanwhile are torn...not wanting to route for either man in this match. What results is a smattering of boos as Landon places his boot across the throat of Sacred and starts to choke away...

 

 

...1

 

 

...2

 

 

...3

 

 

...4

 

 

...Landon breaks on five, getting a verbal bashing from Soapdish for his bending of the rules. Quickly Megan jumps onto the apron as Landon walks over...taking the towel and wiping the sweat from his forehead. In the meantime, as Landon takes his time about giving the towel back, Sacred pulls himself to his feet and charges forward...towards Landon and Megan. Megan's squeal in terror causes Maddix to turn around...and raise his boot JUST in time, Blackwell running face first into it. Landon follows up with a left hand clothesline, as Megan jumps from the apron to safety

 

"Sacred was looking to take BOTH Landon and Megan out there." Cyclone observes in surprise. "But luckily for Megan, Landon was alert."

"It's unlucky for that guy in the front row though...he would have ended up with Megan in his lap!"

"Well, what man in this arena would say no to that?" questions Cyclone, before backtracking... "Well, except you Bobby, of course."

 

Landon pulls Sacred up to his feet, pushing him up against the ropes before driving a knee hard into the gut...followed up with a second. Maddix goes for the irish whip, only for Sacred to counter and pull Landon forward into a 'running' forearm to the face which knocks Landon flat on his back. Instinctively Maddix quickly pulls himself up, and gets nailed with a second running forearm smash by Blackwell! Just as Blackwell looks to be rallying back, Landon takes a step back...

 

 

SMACK!

 

Sacred runs STRAIGHT into a superkick! Landon quickly drops down, and hooks the leg for the cover...

 

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...KICKOUT!

 

Maddix glares over at referee Soapdish, as he questions the count. Sacred meanwhile tries to sit up, but Landon catches him out of the corner of his eye and hits him in the jaw with a forearm blow. Up to his feet again Landon walks over to the corner, and hops to the middle rope which brings about a flurry of noise from the crowd all of a sudden.

 

 

"Maddix is looking to end the match now!" Riley exclaims.

"He's setting up for the Crash Landon, and if Blackwell walks over near enough for Maddix to hit it, then we may be witnessing one of the biggest SWF shocks in recent memory."

 

With Megan eagerly watching on from the outside, Landon sits upon the top turnbuckle waiting for Sacred to come over. Slowly the US Champion clambers back to a vertical base, and begins to stumble towards the corner...but suddenly sees Maddix's position, and stops himself. A little surprised, Maddix is suddenly lost on the middle rope, as Sacred stands out of his reach, encouraging Landon on!

 

"Sacred knew what was coming...and now Landon has to re-think his strategy!" shouts Cyclone.

 

The crowd's buzz suddenly sounds more upbeat, most people happy to see Landon looking clueless. As Sacred again encourages Landon on, he looks out to the crowd, seeing that they're enjoying his awkward position. With a look of anger, Landon adjusts his body and leaps off the middle rope looking for a flying clothesline...but of course, Blackwell is waiting for it...catching him in mid-air with head and arm hooked! The crowd encourage Blackwell to drop Landon on his head, which he gratefully does with the Spanish Inquisition! Landon ends up folded up on his neck, as Sacred too is down on the mat, taking the opportunity to re-catch his breath.

 

"Sacred totally suckered Maddix into that, and Landon ended up looking quite the fool." Cyclone comments.

"It was smart from The Sacred One, I'll agree." Riley starts. "But I think Landon got caught off guard...I doubt anyone's ever escaped a possible Crash Landon in that manner."

"Landon hasn't faced anyone with the ring savvy of Andrew Blackwell.

 

 

Soapdish stands over the two champions, counting both men out. As neither man shows major signs of movement, Soapdish has already gotten up to a two count...and now a three. The crowd, still not wanting to support either man, start clapping in unison trying to get both men to continue on with the match.

 

As Maddix is first to stir, Soapdish shouts out the four count...Sacred quickly stirring afterwards.

 

Saopdish yells out 'FIVE', as Maddix is now nearly to his knees. Blackwell however shows greater stamina and suddenly forgoes getting to his knees, getting up to his feet quickly as Soapdish declares him up on his feet. Landon is up a moment or two later, as Sacred waits for him and drives his forearm into the gut of Landon. Quickly grabbing a handful of shorts Blackwell pulls Maddix forward into a second forearm smash...pushing him back, before pulling him forward again...only this time, Maddix lifts his knee up as he comes back, the lower part of the knee catching Sacred in the head. As Sacred holds his head in pain, Maddix desperatly pushes him down onto the mat to make a cover...

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

...only a two count.

 

As Blackwell is already pulling himself up, Landon runs off the ropes and charges towards him. Blackwell manages to back himself against the ropes though, and duck under the charging Landon, backdropping him over the top rope. Landon manages to hook a hold of the top rope on his way over, twisting in mid-air and landing on his feet on the ring apron behind Sacred. Sacred senses it and quickly hits a back elbow to the jaw, which rocks Landon as he has to grab hold of the ropes to avoid falling to the outside. Slowly Blackwell turns, and reels back with a right hand...but Maddix ducks under it, quickly driving his shoulder into Blackwell's gut in the process.

 

"That's a dangerous place for Maddix to be...one slip, and that a three of four foot drop to the concrete!" Riley worriedly mumbles.

"But he does look to have the advantage citizen Riley."

 

Again Maddix lunges forward driving his shoulder into the gut of Sacred, before coming back up and grabbing a handful of the jet black hair of Blackwell. Hooking the US Champion's arm over and grabbing a hold of his tights, Landon uses all the strength he can muster to try and suplex Blackwell to the floor...and gets him up, but not over as Blackwell makes himself as heavy as possible. Maddix drops Sacred back down to his feet, before trying for the suplex again...again Blackwell making sure Landon can't get him over. With some quick punches to the gut, Sacred shifts the tide before lifting Landon up in the air...and up into the suplex position. Holding him aloft, Sacred takes a couple of steps backwards before letting Landon drop over the back. However, as soon as Maddix's feet land on the mat, Sacred falls back with a BRUTAL Hangman's Noose neckbreaker!!!

 

"OHHHHH!!!"

 

Maddix looks to be out of commision from the brutal neckbreaker, as Sacred rolls over onto his knees...flipping Maddix onto his back, and hooking up the leg for a cover...

 

 

 

...ONE...

 

 

 

 

...TWO...

 

 

 

 

...T...

 

 

 

 

 

...H...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"SHOULDER UP!" shouts Riley, as Landon's shoulder shoots off the mat!

 

 

The crowd give a loud mixed reaction at the last gasp kickout, as Soapdish, who came so close to dropping the count, has to hold up two fingers to the crowd and to Sacred. The Aussie angrily holds up three fingers in response, believing he should be the USJL Champion right now...but Soapdish won't relent.

 

"Less than half a second away from a win from Sacred...maybe less!" exclaims Cyclone.

"He thinks that was all. Hell, I'd be shocked if I were Sacred, and Landon Maddix kicked out of that against me." Riley adds.

 

Sacred angrily grabs a handful of Landon's blonde hair and hits a stiff forearm blow to the head, before dragging the JL Champion's limp body up from the mat and pushing him backwards, so he ends up in the corner. Charging in after Sacred drives a running forearm into the face of Landon, the force snapping his neck back and seemingly sending his eyes rolling into the back of his head. Opening up his hand, Sacred reels back...

 

 

SLAP!

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...and nails a stinging knifedge chop.

 

Grabbing Maddix by the hair Blackwell drags him from out of the corner and to the ropes, pushing him back against them...

 

 

SLAP!

 

"WHOOO!"

 

...hitting another knifedge chop, before irish whipping Landon off the ropes. Before Maddix even hits the ropes, Sacred holds out his arms...and Maddix doesn't read the situation, unable to counter as he's flipped into the air, and spun around into a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster. Landon instantly holds his gut in pain, as Sacred flips him over and hooks the leg to make a cover, Soapdish diving down to make the count…

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

…TWO ONLY!

 

Again Sacred glares towards referee Soapdish trying to intimidate him into a quicker count the next time around. Clambering to his feet, the angry Andrew Blackwell backs off the ropes, coming back with a vicious legdrop landing across the back of Maddix’s neck and at the same time driving his face into the mat. Getting quickly back to his feet Sacred again runs to the ropes, this time launching off his feet a good three feet away from Maddix, and flying through the air with a snap legdrop. Again rolling Landon onto his back, Blackwell hooks the leg and stares at Soapdish whilst he counts…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO COUNT!

 

“Landon’s barely hanging on, but…well…he is hanging on at least.” comments Riley.

 

Looking at the end of his tether Sacred continues to stare a hole through Soapdish, who may be happy right now to be wearing black pants. Landon tries his best to sit up, but without even a second thought Sacred swings back with his arm and cracks Maddix across the forehead with a vile looking elbow. The force sends Landon rolling across the ring, landing up against the ropes as Sacred backs up into one corner of the ring, allowing Landon Maddix to get back to his feet for some reason. Slowly Landon does so, with the aid of the ropes albeit, as in the corner Blackwell stands stewing…waiting, encouraging Landon to get to his feet.

 

“Citizen Maddix is in trouble…he needs some help, and fast!” Cyclone comments

“You’re the super-hero…why don’t you go and save him?”

“I was…I was just…”

“I was just joking Comet. Jeez, you really need to get a sense of humour.”

 

As Landon staggers away from the ropes and towards the centre of the ring, Sacred leaves his position in the corner and runs towards him. Leaving his feet as he gets near enough to Maddix, Blackwell hooks a hold of Maddix’s head from under the chin…but in mid-air, Maddix uses all the energy he can summon in that split second to push Sacred off…

 

 

…and he lands crotched across the middle turnbuckle, the Aussie’s eyes bursting open from the eye-watering PAAAIIIN!!!

 

 

“OOOOHHH!!!”

 

 

“My super-powers are telling me…that that will hurt in the morning!” Comet booms over the murmuring crowd.

“Oh, my…ooh. That hurt me to watch!” grimaces Bobby. “Me more than most.”

 

As Blackwell sits crotches on the middle turnbuckle, his pain clearly evident in his face, Landon walks over towards him and drives a knee into the back, crushing Sacred into the turnbuckles. Turning away from The Sacred One, Landon holds his hands out to the side to a vast amount of boos from the Cleveland crowd…before hooking his right hand under Sacred’s left armpit. Doing the same with the opposite arm and hand, Landon finds the strength to push upwards…hoisting Sacred up into the air by his arms. After a second or two, Landon’s right arm begins to buckle, but before it totally collapses Landon manages to launch Blackwell upwards, and catch him coming down with the splash mountain bomb! Sacred’s head bounces off the mat forcefully as Landon hooks his legs over Sacred’s shoulder for a pinfall…

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

 

…H…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWOOOOO!!!

 

This time it’s Landon who questions Nicky Soapdish’s counting ability, as the referee again backtracks away from the angered combatant glaring at him.

 

“I tell you what Cyclone…” Riley begins with an impressed sound in his voice. “This Landon kid has more than matched up to Sacred here tonight.”

“He’s certainly applied himself well tonight. But he still has to put Sacred away somehow.” Cyclone replies.

 

Both Landon and Sacred get back to their feet at roughly the same time, but Blackwell is clearly still feeling the effects of his ‘collision’ with the turnbuckle. Landon manages to hit a snap boot to the gut to double Blackwell over slightly. Another boot is quick to connect from Maddix as he tries to weaken Sacred up further…but as soon as he’s in the weakened state, Sacred instinctively reaches to his side and hooks his arms around the top rope. Soapdish pulls Landon away, as Sacred takes his time about taking a breather.

 

“Now that’s smart. Sacred grabbed the ropes and bought himself a break…just as he seemed to be in trouble finally.” Riley beams.

“That’s what a veteran head will do for you.”

“Usually I’d make a joke about that…” Riley begins. “But I don’t think even I could pull that off and keep any credibility.”

“Credibility? You?” Comet counters, before giving a large Superhero style guffaw.

 

As Sacred continues to hold onto the ropes to force Landon away, the JL Undisputed Champion suddenly realizes how Sacred felt at the beginning of the match. As the impatience sinks in on him, Landon pushes Soapdish out of the way and charges forward. Sacred charges out as Landon comes towards him, and goes for the running forearm…but Maddix baseball slides through the legs of Blackwell, ending up on the apron. Landon reaches forward and grabs both of the ‘Australian of the Year’s ankles, tugging both from underneath Sacred and causing him to crash face first to the mat!

 

SMACK!

 

Dazed, Blackwell wastes no time in trying to get to his feet, as Maddix pulls himself up using the ropes on the apron. As Sacred finally pulls himself to his jelly like feet, he stumbles forward a couple of steps as Maddix stands on the apron waiting for the right time to pounce. The right time seems to come about as Blackwell begins to turn around…Landon leaping up to the middle rope, and springing off the top rope. Sticking his arm out in mid-air, Landon comes down with the springboard clothesline…

 

 

 

…which Sacred sidesteps…

 

 

 

…AND COUNTERS WITH THE FUJIWARA!!!

 

 

“Sacred’s got him caught again!”

“I was beginning to wonder if Sacred had forgot about the arm…but, it seems he hadn’t!” exclaims Comet.

“Landon’s as helpless as a deer trapped in headlights!! There can be no escape this time, surely!” Riley shouts, just as ‘exclaimingly’.

 

 

The crowd roar their surprising approval as Sacred cinches in the hold, Maddix yelling out in pain as he frantically tries to scramble away before Blackwell can trap Landon in the hold fully. It seems it’s already too late however, as Blackwell leans back to put more pressure on the shoulder joint as Maddix looks in tremendous pain. The only thing keeping him going is the thought of being USJL Champion, but even that seems to be slipping away from him as his hand is raised in the air!

 

“Landon Maddix is seeing his dreams of winning his SWF debut, his dream of maintaining an eleven match winning run…his dreams of becoming the USJL Champion…all those dreams are slowly slipping away as his arm is slowly slipping from out of it’s socket.” Riley laments.

 

Slowly Maddix’s hand begins to start drooping forwards…going limp, ready to tap rather than to impress Bobbo. Chants of ‘Tap Out’ ring out through the Gund Arena from the uncaring crowd as Maddix is on the verge of doing just that. The crowd are on their feet waiting for a tapout to come, as Sacred pulls back relentlessly on the arm. Pure fury and passion are etched on his face as he pushes back on his heels…as suddenly, Landon sticks his right leg out to the side, managing to land it on the bottom rope…with a little help from Megan of course.

 

 

“BOOOOO!”

 

The crowd boo The Toddess’ involvement, as Blackwell angrily breaks the hold. Turning to the outside, he aims an angered stare out towards Megan…distracting him for long enough as Landon reaches up, and pulls Blackwell down by the leg into a schoolboy roll-up…

 

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

…SHOULDER UP!

 

“Wow! Close call!” Comet sighs in shock.

“That was close…” agrees Riley. “The match is slowly winding down, and these two are slowly being worn down into exhaustion.”

 

 

Landon gets back to his feet holding his right shoulder in pain, only releasing it to nail a couple of stinging left hands to the jaw of Blackwell. He fires back in turn with a big knee to the gut, and goes to lock on an abdominal stretch straight afterwards…but Maddix reads it like a book, and counters with a hip-toss before Blackwell can get a hold of his arm. Instantly Blackwell gets back to his feet and swings out for a right hand…but Landon ducks, hooks the arm of Sacred…

 

 

…and snaps on the Katahajimè!

 

“Choke On This!” shouts Riley. “My three favourite words in the English language!”

 

Referee Soapdish think about checking for a chokehold…but then, realizes it’s a choke hold anyway, but one that’s considering a ‘wrestling move’. A little confused as to what to do, Soapdish doesn’t have to make a decision as Sacred manages to duck and weave behind Landon and out of the Katahajimè…before locking on the double chickenwing!!!

 

“OH!” yelps Comet. ”Sacred’s going for the Narcosynthesis!”

“But Landon’s fighting!”

 

Looking to drop Landon to the mat, Sacred starts to walk around the ring trying to force Landon to collapse from weakness. Despite the searing pain going through his shoulder, Landon stays on his feet…which Blackwell tries desperately to change. Stopping in the centre of the ring, Sacred holds Landon in the double chickenwing, as the JL Champ tries to wriggle free, to no avail. Meanwhile, Blackwell is planning what to do next…suddenly lifting Maddix into the air with the double chickenwing, to sounds of pained awe from the crowd. Landon shouts out in pain himself, but Blackwell allows him to land back on his feet quickly, and again tries to force him to the floor. Maddix still tries to fight out of the clutches of Sacred, so he decides to jog forwards, running Landon around in circles around the ring. Suddenly changing direction towards the corner, Sacred howls out in intensity as he sends Landon hurtling towards the corner…but at the lasr second, Maddix ducks out of the way…

 

 

CRASH!!!

 

…SACRED RUNS HEADFIRST INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!

 

“MISCUE BY SACRED!” shouts of Cyclone in surprise.

 

Blackwell forcibly releases the double chickenwing, almost knocked out as he collapses to the mat. Maddix meanwhile clutches his shoulder and falls to his knees, trying to summon some strength to continue on.

 

“That’s a rare occurrence there Cyclone.” Riley points out. “Sacred ran himself into that turnbuckle.”

“Well, you have to give credit to Citizen Maddix for fighting the Narcosynthesis the way he did.”

 

Megan scuttles around and holds out the towel to Landon, but he angrily shakes his head at the stupid idea. Instead, Landon pulls himself up on the ropes by his good arm, and climbs up to the middle rope with a weary look on his face. The crowd hurl some more abuse at Landon as he sits upon the turnbuckle…the sound of boos prompting him to stand up, and hold out his arms again cockily…only managing to get his right arm half extended before it becoming too painful for him to do so.

 

“Landon’s setting up for the Crash Landon again…but, hitting it may aggravate that arm even further!” Cyclone observes.

 

Groggy and with a glazed over, vacant look in his eyes, Sacred pulls himself to his knees. Landon sits on the turnbuckle gaining breaths for as long as he can before Blackwell finally manages to get to his feet. Hooking the United States Champion’s head over his left shoulder, rather than his usual right, Landon suddenly stands up straight as possible on the middle rope, and snaps off them…

 

 

…but Sacred clutches hold of the ropes, causing Maddix to corkscrew himself and only himself into the mat! Meanwhile, Sacred lays slumped up against the ropes, unable to stand on his own power. With no energy left seemingly, Blackwell falls backwards and on top of Landon, as Soapdish drops down…

 

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

…T…

 

 

 

 

 

…H…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…SHOULDER UP AT TWO!!!

 

“My God how close was that!?!” squeals Riley. “I think we need a photo finish on that one!”

 

 

Now, Sacred has to find the willpower from somewhere to pull himself back up…as Landon is slowly stirring underneath him. Megan starts to slam her hands down on the apron as she tries to will Maddix on, as Sacred is trying to stir himself to some sort of ‘comeback’.

 

 

After ten or fifteen seconds of gutchecking time, both Landon and Sacred reach their feet, and start to fire away with weak left/right hands. Both seem to be verging on the point of exhaustion, when suddenly Blackwell reaches back from out of nowhere, catching Landon with a sharp kick to the gut. Landon doubles over, even dropping to his knees…as Sacred quickly locks on the front facelock, pre-luding to the ’Cruel Fate’. Before he’s able to hook Landon up properly Sacred is hit by another sudden bout of exhaustion…having trouble staying on his feet suddenly.

 

“Sacred looks like he swallowed a full bottle of Nightol™” riley says, trying his best not to chuckle himself.

“Well, this match has been grueling, and I think those head shots have finally caught up with him.” Cyclone replies.

 

Realizing where he is, and what’s at stake, Blackwell reaches down deep inside of him, trying to pull out some hidden resource of energy. Just as he seemingly does so however, Landon charges forward like a bull with his head down, driving Sacred hard into the turnbuckles. Groggy himself Maddix stumbles backwards a couple of steps, before charging at Sacred again…who this time manages to stick his foot up into the air for Landon to crash face first into. That knocks Landon’s equilibrium for six as he drops to disjointed knees…while Sacred slowly pulls himself up onto the middle rope…

 

 

…as Landon suddenly pulls himself up…

 

 

SMACK!!!

 

…Landon nails a superkick, connecting in the VERY low gut region of Sacred, as he sits on the top turnbuckle all out of fight. Maddix grabs Blackwell’s right leg and places it over the top rope to the outside of the middle turnbuckle…doing the same with the left leg, before weakly climbing to the middle rope.

 

 

“Oh boy…that’s not a good place for either of these men to be right now!” Cyclone worriedly says.

 

Landon places both his hands on Sacred’s head…managing the strength to shout something out to the crowd, which they instantly boo at. With a smirk Landon then places his foot on the top rope…but gets smacked in the gut with a right hand by Sacred. Another connects a second or so later…followed by a third, as Landon drops his foot back to the middle rope. With Maddix now incapacitated momentarily, Sacred begins to climb to the top rope…his legs shaking under his weight. Grabbing a handful of the JL Champion’s hair, Sacred takes a moment to steady himself…

 

 

…as suddenly, up onto the apron leaps Megan Skye! Megan starts shouting at Blackwell, who understandably becomes distracted by the Toddess…as does Soapdish, who tries to get Megan off the apron as quickly as possible, before she can do any damage. However, it seems the damage has already been done…as Maddix is able to hit Blackwell with an uppercut to the gut. Sacred wobbles on the ropes, as he only just manages to stay on the top rope…Landon standing up on the middle rope and making sure he doesn’t fall for some reason.

 

“This is a dangerous situation Citizen Riley.”

“Indeed my lycra wearing friend…that’s a 15 foot drop to the floor Sacred is risking being a victim of.”

 

The reason for Landon’s seeming generosity being that he has ideas. Maddix hooks a hold of Sacred’s head, and his right leg…pulling the leg off the top rope. As soon as he does that, Sacred is screwed…falling forwards off the ropes. Landon however does the same, keeping the leg and head hooked…

 

 

 

 

 

…SUPER FISHAAAMAAAN’S BUSTAAAAA!!!

 

 

“HOLY HEAVENS ABOVE!”

“Oh my god…somebody call the hospital, because that right there is a sure fire admittance!” shouts Riley.

 

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

 

 

The crowd chant in shock, as Sacred is out COLD! The crowd, Soapdish, Megan…even Landon, all look stunned as Sacred shows no signs of moving. Landon, with little to no strength left in him, falls backwards and grabs a meek hold of Sacred’s left leg, as Soapdish administers the count…

 

 

 

…ONE…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…TWO…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…THREEEEE!!!

 

 

 

*DING! DING!*

 

“THE IMPOSSIBLE…”

“…HAS HAPPENED!” Judge and Riley double up to complete the sentence, both in total shock.

 

All the air, the buzz, the excitement in the crowd is suddenly sucked out like a vacuum, as Landon collapses off of Sacred in ecstasy. Megan too is ecstatic, as she rolls into the ring…embracing Landon. The belts are slowly passed into Soapdish, as Landon manages to pull himself to his knees.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen…” Funyon begins over the heavy mixed reaction going around the crowd. “…here is your winner, via pinfall…and the FIRST EVER…USJL..UNIFIED..CHAMPION…LAAANDOOON ‘LA CUCARACHA’…MAAAAADDIIIX!!!”

 

 

"DON'T CHU WANNA BE MEEEEE!!!"

 

 

The crowd erupt into boos, unable to believe what has just happened…as Landon is passed all three pieces of gold, rolling from the ring weakly with them. Using Megan to hold himself up…and to carry the JL European Title, Maddix clutches the other two belts…including his newly won United States Championship, and slowly begins to make his way up the ramp.

 

“This is incredible! The junior…the youngster, the newbie, the underdog…call him what you will…Landon Maddix has beaten Sacred!” Cyclone shouts over the now booing crowd.

“We may need some help for Sacred…that was a brutal way to end the match…and probably, the only way Sacred was going down tonight.”

“A legend has been defeated here. This result, I guarantee you, has sent SHOCKWAVES through the SWF roster.”

“And you know what this means Cyclone…every SJLer in that Clusterfuck in just moments who watched that is going to think to himself ‘that could me…’ I think business has just picked up another notch for the Clusterfuck.”

“Clusterfuck or not…Landon Maddix has taken the SWF United States Championship on his SWF debut. All credit to Sacred…but, my good…what a shock. We’ll be back with the Clusterfuck match itself after this quick break…for a word from our great, great, great sponsors!”

 

Maddix and Megan scramble up the ramp, and to the back as the scene fades out from the Gund momentarily…

[Guest Evolution]

I knew the ending'd come back to bite me in the ass.

 

Known issues:

 

1) There is an absolute DEAD spot right towards the end of the match where the focus is eliminating Thugg. I didn't have the time nor the energy to edit it, so I left it and hoped that it would suffice enough. I have a feeling it didn't.

 

2) I hated the ending. I can't explain why, and I tried to write it to the best of my ability, but it all just seemed rotten and out of place.

 

I know my commentary was covered in cheese, but spare me on that.

 

-----------

 

"Twenty men..."

 

The faces of the 20 participants fly by the screen in rapid succession.

 

"One shot..."

 

The screen then shows a slow-motion video of Mark Hebner hoisting the SWF World Heavyweight Title into the air.

 

"...this is the Clusterfuck."

 

The letters "CF" and the numbers "2004" collide on the SmarkTron and a bright burst of white pyro explodes from either side of the SmarkTron as the SWF logo is emblazoned above the message of "CF 2004". The crowd cheers the pretty colors, knowing that the big match is coming up.

 

"Now," Bobby Riley begins, the camera shot fading to the announce table, "it is time for the match that defines the Clusterfuck! It's time for the 20-man battle royal!"

 

"There's a bunch of X-factors here, Robert," Comet points out and continues, "Michael Craven has been punished into the #1 slot, and Charlie Matthews has earned his way to #20!"

 

"And somewhere in between is Stryke, who has put his career on the line with the promise that he will win this match!"

 

"Don't forget Citizen Thugg, either! This is his first time in the big match, but he's a definite favorite!"

 

"The Unnamed and the Trinity will continue their war, more than likely, as Dace Night and Terrence Bailey are in this match along with John Duran and the aforementioned Matthews."

 

"When it all comes down to it, Robert, one man will win a shot at From the Fire with the stipulation of their choice."

 

"And you know, Comet that Va'aiga is walking home with that title later tonight!"

 

"Let's keep a straight and narrow field of vision here. It's about time for the introductions, Robert, so let's make predictions. Who do you think is going to take it all?"

 

"I'm going with Mike Van Siclen, Comet, he promised to win this match and he's just the man to do it!"

 

"Well, Robert, I hate to admit it because he's not an upstanding citizen like me, but I must say that with #20, Charlie Matthews has the best chance in this match! It's just academic that he'll be fresh enough to take everyone out!"

 

"Let's get this thing started, then! Funyon's in the ring with the rules and introductions."

 

As the banter between Riley and Comet comes to a close, the camera shot fades to one that pans over the entire Gund Arena, the crowd abuzz as they wait for Funyon's announcements.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen," Funyon finally begins, "it is now time for the CLUSTERFUCK!" The crowd explodes with cheers as Funyon continues. "The rules are as follows. Soon, the two superstars who drew number one and number two will enter the ring! Every two minutes thereafter, another superstar will enter the ring; according to the number he pulled! Elimination occurs when a wrestler is thrown out over the top rope and when BOTH feet hit the floor! When all twenty superstars have entered the Clusterfuck, the match will continue under elimination rules until only three men remain! At that point, the match will be run under triple threat rules! The first superstar to score a pinfall or submission on another superstar will be the winner! And that winner will earn the right to face the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION at From the Fire, in a match of his choosing!"

 

The crowd continues to cheer, anxious and impatient to start the Clusterfuck.

 

"And now," Funyon booms, "it is time to bring out the man who drew #1!"

 

"We know who this is," Riley proclaims.

 

The lights go out, and then strobe lights begin to pulse with the background beats. Finally, "Don't Stay" by Linkin Park kicks in, and the crowd immediately boos. As Chester begins the verses, a pale blue light smothers the entranceway as Michael Craven appears at the top of it, the chorus of the song drowned out by the boos for The King of Nightmares. He turns around at the apex of the ramp, showing his back to the fans--of which he has none--and letting them jeer and hiss at him all they want. Michael then turns back around and continues down the ramp. Halfway down, Craven spins again, pointing his right arm along the top of the entranceway.

 

*BOOM*

 

White pyro shoots up into the sky, the smoke adding to the smoke that is already attempting to filter out of the Gund Arena, as Craven completes his 360 spin and continues down the ramp without interruption.

 

"Coming down to the ring," Funyon uses his voice to combat the beats and vocals of "Don't Stay" and the loud boos of the fans, "from Tampa, Florida...the King of Nightmares...MICHAEL CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-VEN!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #1: MICHAEL CRAVEN

 

Craven steps up onto the apron and enters through the top and middle rope, climbing the turnbuckle nearest to him and opening his arms up to the unreceptive fans, who attempt to boo him to Cincinnati.

 

"As we all know," Riley mentions, "the SWF Commissioner Grand Slam punished Michael Craven for an unprovoked attack on Stevens by giving him #1 in the Clusterfuck!"

 

"Citizen Slam has certainly had some problems with his wrestlers lately. We can only hope that everything is just and fair backstage."

 

A white spotlight shines and follows Craven as he jumps off the turnbuckle and warms up on the ropes, a warmup that will be necessary for the task ahead as he keeps his eyes on the entranceway, having no idea of who will be his opponent to start off the match.

 

"Now, the man who drew number two!"

 

The boos for Craven fade and a faint buzz remains over the crowd. The opening notes of Andrew W.K.'s "Ready to Die" dance melodically out of the speakers as there is a mixed reaction already. Then the drums drop in...

 

BOOM BOOM

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

Two blasts of white pyro go off on either side of the entranceway and then a third one shoots up the middle of the ramp as Mike Van Siclen steps through it, the music continuing to blast as he keeps a good pace on his way down to the ring. A few fans outstretch their hands, supporters of the Van Siclen way, and Mike acknowledges them as they slap hands. Craven watches in the ring intently at Siclen, likely planning a strategy.

 

"Now entering, from Harrison, Illinois, he is The Spectacle...MIKE. VAN. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICLEN!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #2: MIKE VAN SICLEN

 

"Yes! This is my boy, Comet! He's going to go all the way!"

 

"Craven is going to be a big challenge for him, though, Michael cannot be happy with drawing number one!"

 

Siclen slides into the ring and Craven rushes over and catches The Spectacle off guard, stomping away at Van Siclen's back as Funyon gets out of the ring.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

"And we're underway with the Clusterfuck!" exclaims Riley.

 

Craven continues putting the boots to Van Siclen, and then quickly drops an elbow onto Mike's back. Craven pops up and goes into the ropes, bouncing out and extending his leg out for a leg drop! Van Siclen moves out of the way, however, and Michael lands leg-first onto the mat, turning the tide of the match in the favor of The Spectacle!

 

"That was some quick thinking from Citizen Siclen there, Robert. He's got the speed to get through these first few minutes, but if Craven and the other men coming down to the ring take Mike to task, it'll take some work for Van Siclen to set things straight."

 

"That's just it, Van Siclen knows the ring like the back of his hand, and that's why he's going to throw everyone over the top rope and take this one!"

 

Craven gets right up after missing the legdrop and goes after Van Siclen, but Siclen is already bouncing off the ropes and coming right at The King of Nightmares, leaping into the air and spinning his legs around, connecting one of them with Craven's chest as both men go to the mat, Craven getting the worst of the spinning wheelkick from Van Siclen! The crowd claps in appreciation as Mike reaches his feet again, not waiting for Craven to reach his feet but instead bringing the Gulf Coast Hurricane up to his feet in a front facelock, and swinging a near arm over his back as Siclen quickly whips back, taking the somewhat bigger Craven up and over with a snap suplex.

 

"Citizen Siclen is sure looking good out there right now, and I might have to eat my words if he keeps this up!"

 

"Believe me, he'll keep it up, Comet, he knows when to rest and when to get in the middle of the action."

 

Van Siclen sits up out of the snap suplex and takes a couple of breaths, the crowd still appreciating his initial offer to begin the Clusterfuck, as Craven begins to work his way back to his feet. Van Siclen rises to his feet and remains behind Craven, waiting for his opportunity. Once Craven finally reaches a vertical base, Van Siclen takes the opportunity and bounces off the ropes, Craven's back remaining turned to the Spectacle's movements as Siclen takes The Knight of Nightmare's face and jams it into the mat with both hands. The crowd is getting more and more behind MVS as time is going along, and Van Siclen eats it up, trying to stomp away at the other Michael, but Craven rolls under the ropes to protect himself and, more importantly, avoid elimination.

 

"Craven knows he's at a disadvantage right now, so taking a breather is the right thing to do, even with Van Siclen standing right there."

 

"Well, as soon as he comes out from under the bottom rope, Citizen Siclen is going to snatch him up anyway, so Citizen Craven better have the energy to reverse anything thrown at him!"

 

After a few moments, Craven finally emerges from under the bottom rope, as The Spectacle attempts to bring his opponent to his feet, but Craven blasts Van Siclen with a right hand, allowing Craven enough time to rise to his feet as the crowd jeers the #1 entry. Michael approaches the dazed Mike, bringing his forearm back and then sending it forward, as The King of Nightmares attempts the High Power Forearm Smash! Van Siclen, dodges, however, moving to Craven's left as Craven stumbles forward with the momentum of missing the forearm smash. He is caught in a drop toe hold, as the crowd claps, very appreciative of Van Siclen's work so far.

 

"If the crowd wasn't behind him when he made his entrance, Comet, they have certainly come around on Mike Van Siclen!"

 

"I'm not very surprised that he's a fan favorite compared to Michael Craven, Robert."

 

With Craven down on the mat in the ring, Van Siclen brings him up as they both rise to their feet. Siclen takes Craven over to the middle of the top rope and the crowd cheers, as Siclen tries to dump Craven over to the base of the entrance ramp, but the crowd's cheers are quieted when Craven holds onto the top rope, trying his best to remain in the match.

 

"Citizen Siclen might want to pull back and weaken up Citizen Craven some more," Comet notes.

 

Sure enough, Siclen gives up on his attempt, shoving Craven to the ground and quickly going to the legs, grabbing them and lifting them up into the air before putting his foot in between The King of Nightmare's legs!

 

"TEN!"

 

The countdown begins as Van Siclen locks on the Rectal Stretch, falling back to the mat as Craven is forced to be put through the pain.

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"Here we go, someone is going to come join the two Mikes!"

 

"I must say, Citizen Siclen's submission hold there may not be effective in a match like this right now, but it certainly is creative!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

Siclen releases the Rectal Stretch and gets to his feet as he waits for number three.

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

 

Prong's "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" plays, and there is a smattering of boos, but for most, this is their first time seeing Manson.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #3: MANSON

 

"It's Manson, one of the many wrestlers in the Clusterfuck from the SJL!"

 

Manson raises a fist into the air and then begins to jog down the ramp. Manson slides into the corner, getting to his feet as Van Siclen and Manson immediately begin trading right hands, before Manson finally blocks a right from Van Siclen and returns with a knee lift to the gut of The Spectacle, doubling him over! Manson pulls Van Siclen back up, nailing his chest with a knife-edge chop. The fans boo Manson as he staggers Van Siclen towards the near corner, Craven rolling over slowly to a different corner, still feeling the after-effects of the Rectal Stretch. In the corner, Manson continues to unload chops, as they get louder and louder.

 

*SMACK*

 

"Citizen Manson is the fresh man in there, and he's doing a number on Citizen Siclen!"

 

*SMACK*

 

*SMACK*

 

Manson finally stops chopping away at his opponent in the corner, bringing the Harrison, Illinois native out of the corner and whipping him towards the opposite corner! However, Mike hangs on, reversing the momentum and instead sending Manson into the other turnbuckle! Van Siclen tries to charge into the corner, but as he makes it there, Manson extends an elbow, stopping The Spectacle in his tracks. Van Siclen staggers backward and Manson charges forward, lifting up his black boot for a Yakuza kick! Van Siclen grabs Manson's boot, however, spinning Manson around and catching him with a kick to the midsection as he comes back around! Siclen then grabs Manson's head, spinning his body around and bringing Manson's with it as the swinging neckbreaker hits the mark, to the delight of the fans!

 

"What a back and forth exchange there from The Spectacle and Manson! Van Siclen is proving him worthy in these first few minutes!"

 

"However, he needs to watch out for Citizen Craven, who definitely isn't out yet. And you know Craven will be looking to do some immoral and unjust things to Van Siclen after that...what is it?"

 

"Rectal Stretch."

 

"Right."

 

As Van Siclen rises to his feet, he is surprised by Craven, who rushes him as he reaches his feet, putting Van Siclen into the corner as Craven clubs away at Mike with right and left hands! The crowd boos as Craven bends over, ramming his shoulder into the solarplexes of The Spectacle, knocking the wind out of MVS with every thrust of the shoulder! After the fourth shoulder thrust into the midsection of Van Siclen, Craven pushes Van Siclen out of the corner by the back of his head, as MVS doesn't immediately go down, instead remaining on his feet for a short while. That proves costly, as Craven goes into the corner himself and measures out some things, before running at Van Siclen, leaping over the head of MVS and grabbing it on the way down, hitting a big flipping neckbreaker that takes Mike down to the mat!

 

"Well, Robert, Citizen Craven can hit those flipping neckbreakers at anytime he pleases, so that might work out to be a big asset for him in the future."

 

"They won't throw the person over the top rope, Comet, and until there are three people left in this match, that's all that matters right now. The moves help weaken the opponent, but until you get them over the top rope, hitting those flipping neckbreakers is half the battle."

 

As Craven rises to his feet, Manson joins him, and both of them together stomp away at Van Siclen, as the crowd boos both men for double teaming in a match that is supposed to be every man for him. The King of Nightmares and Manson bring MVS up to his feet, and both talk for a moment before agreeing and putting The Spectacle in a double front facelock. Both men throw the near arm over their shoulders, and the crowd continues to boo as Manson and Craven fall back, lifting Van Siclen in the air and taking him right back down with a double snap suplex!

 

"Before you ask, Comet, yes, the Clusterfuck is every man for himself. Craven and Manson just have a common goal."

 

"Which is?"

 

"Destroy Mike Van Siclen," Riley says with an evil smile, and Comet is visibly disturbed.

 

As Manson bends down again to continue the attack on MVS, Craven surprises the Colorado native by attacking him from behind, and the crowd is torn whether to cheer for Manson to beat up on Craven or for Craven to beat up on Manson.

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

The countdown to #4 begins as Craven moves over to the ropes, trying to toss over Manson, but it is to no avail as Manson is hanging on to the ropes tightly and doesn't want to let go!

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

MVS begins to rise to his feet, and then goes over to Craven, clubbing him in the back from behind as Craven is forced to stop his efforts in throwing Manson over the top rope. Manson is left teetering for a moment on his stomach, but eventually shifts his weight back into the ring.

 

"Who could be on their way out next?" Comet asks as the crowd chants along with the countdown.

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"Hero" by Nightrage kicks in, and the entranceway is filled with bursts of white pyro, as Dace Night comes out to cheers from the fans!

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #4: DACE NIGHT

 

Dace jogs down to the ring as MVS attempts to pick Craven up for a powerbomb, but Craven reverses it and takes Van Siclen over his back with a back body drop, sending MVS to the mat. Manson attempts to attack the King of Nightmares from behind as revenge for the near-elimination, but the High Priest of Horrorcore cuts Manson off with a lariat to a big pop!

 

"If Dace was smart," Riley theorizes, "he'd sit out of this one, as the other three men are just going to end up tearing each other apart."

 

"Citizen Night is just looking for a fight anywhere he can get it, and he's not going to stay out of this one if he can help it!"

 

Craven, on the other hand, decides that he's had enough for right now and goes to sit in a corner, as MVS begins to get to his feet.

 

"See? Michael Craven's a smart man. That's why he's going all the way!"

 

"I thought you said Citizen Siclen was?"

 

"No, wrong Michael, Comet. Get your head in the game, we can't have you fantasizing about Wonder Woman while we're commentating!"

 

Manson tries to fight back with right and left hands against Dace, but it's no use against the Brummie as he connects with a knee right to Manson's face, then another one to the gut! Finally, Dace tops it off by putting the Dungeon graduate in a front facelock and dropping back hard with a big DDT! MVS gets to his feet and doesn't see Craven in the corner right away, instead going for the nearest standing body in Dace. The Spectacle tries to go on offense, but instead gets cold cocked by a Dace Night elbow smash, putting Mike down. Van Siclen gets right back up, and catches another elbow smash!

 

"Dace is sure laying down those elbows on his opponents in the ring, Comet!"

 

"That's right, I'm almost convinced that Citizen Night is a member of the Dirty South!"

 

"...How very white of you, Comet."

 

MVS stays down this time, and Dace turns his attention to Craven, who immediately gets out of his seated position and is ready for a fight after a long rest. Craven tries to throw the first punch, but Dace blocks it with his left arm and comes around with the right, nailing Craven right in the jaw with an elbow smash that gets an "ooh" out of the crowd. Craven is backed up into the corner and defenseless, and Dace goes to town, nailing a knife-edge chop on Craven (getting another "ooh") and unloading yet another one as the chest of the King of Nightmares his red behind his metallic black singlet. Following a third and final chop, Dace puts Craven in an inverted facelock and brings him out of the corner for what looks to be a suplex! As Craven hangs precariously in the air, Dace brings him back down connecting with a picture-perfect reverse suplex as Dace is the last man standing, to the absolute delight of the crowd!

 

"The crowd is really eating Dace up here, Comet, he's looking to be the fan favorite so far!"

 

"The fans will have much more to cheer for later in this match, as long as justice is served!"

 

Dace doesn't see Manson coming up from behind him, suddenly locking on a sleeperhold. The High Priest doesn't get time to power out of it, however, as Manson immediately drops down to the mat, wrenching the neck of Night with a sleeper drop as the crowd's cheers suddenly turn to boos for the WF newcomer. Dace holds his neck for a moment, trying to reach his feet, as Manson simply holds Dace's head steady and tees off on it, bringing up a knee and driving it right into the face of Dace as the Brummie falls to the mat.

 

"So much for Citizen Night having control, Robert."

 

"I hope it isn't true, but perhaps number five can provide some help for the Englishman!"

 

The sneak attacks continue as Van Siclen comes up from behind Manson, putting a waistlock on the Colorado man and quickly whipping back, nailing a release German suplex on Manson as his head bounces off the mat and he crumbles to the mat.

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"Uh-oh, Van Siclen should be ready for the fresh man," Riley warns.

 

"He looks ready as ever, Robert."

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Craven has once again backed into the corner to take a rest, being intelligent and staying out of this as Dace once again strikes back, this time against MVS as HE comes up behind The Spectacle, putting his head under Mike's left arm and quickly lifting him up and falling back, slamming Van Siclen with a backdrop suplex as the crowd goes nuts again!

 

"I haven't seen this many men coming up from behind since BUTT Blasters 5!" Riley notes.

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Dace is ready, and it's a good thing.

 

"NO

NO

NOTORIOUS!"

 

Duran charges down to the ring as "Synthetic" kicks in, and some fans get a few middle fingers in.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #5: JOHN DURAN

 

The crowd begins to roar in anticipation of the upcoming confrontation, Duran actually sliding under the ropes and into the ring instead of making his usual entrance! Dace waits for Duran to get up and Dace unloads an elbow smash right into Duran's jaw, but Duran comes around with a right hand, clocking Dace in the face and then coming forward with a kneelift to the ribs! Dace comes back by grabbing the back of Duran's head and jamming it into Dace's knee, and the crowd is eating up!

 

"Holy bartender, Robert, Citizen Night and Citizen Duran are going to kill each other before number six can even make his entrance!"

 

"Go Duran Go!"

 

Duran is stunned by the knee lift to the face, and Dace backs into the ropes. Dace comes off and tries a Yakuza kick, but Duran grabs Dace's boot, and spins Dace around before bending down and hoisting Dace up in the air and then coming right back down with a ferocious spinebuster! Duran turns around to mess with the crowd, but Dace gets to his feet! The crowd is going nuts as Dace looks to attack Duran from behind...but Craven cuts him off before he gets there! Craven puts a hand around the neck of the High Priest, quickly bringing him up and slamming him down with a chokeslam! Manson joins the beatdown on Dace, and Duran decides to have some fun himself after noticing that he was almost attacked! All three men stomp away at Dace, as the fans try to encourage not only Dace, but Van Siclen to rise to his feet!

 

"I'm afraid that Citizen Night and Citizen Siclen are simply outnumbered here! They need some help, but they won't get it for another...90 seconds or so!"

 

"And that's what I love about this match, Comet! The bad guys seem to always get an advantage!"

 

Duran and Craven lift Night up off the mat, continuing to unload right hands and clubbing forearms on him as all three seem to be setting up for a triple team! Van Siclen slowly gets to his feet using the ropes, seeming to have taken a hit right to the head from the backdrop suplex as he looks like he was knocked loopy. However, Siclen comes to the rescue of the Brummie, running up and grabbing the left arm of Duran, crossing it across his neck before swinging around and grabbing the right arm, falling back with the Red Light!

 

The crowd yells "STOP!", and Siclen pops to his feet after the Red Light. He appears to yell "CONTINUE!" but Craven rushes over and absolutely PUNTS him in the crotch.

 

"Talk about bringing someone to a halt, Comet," Riley exclaims with a laugh.

 

"He might not be able to continue the human race after that one, Robert." Comet's response is a little bit more somber, feeling sorry for MVS' naughty parts.

 

Meanwhile, Manson's eyes have not left Dace, as he turns his back to Night and grabs Dace's head, placing it on his shoulder before running forward and jumping up, coming down with the Consequences!

 

"CONSEQUENCES BY MANSON! Dace is DONE!" Riley screams.

 

As Dace lies somewhat motionless after the Consequences, The Spectacle is trying to nurse his private area back to health, defenseless against the attacks of Craven as he scoops MVS up onto his shoulder, Van Siclen's legs swinging out behind Craven and Mike's head upside down as Craven drops to the mat quickly, driving Van Siclen's head straight into the mat!

 

"And now the Craven Driver from Citizen Craven," Comet says, shocked. "Citizen Siclen might be on his way out!"

 

Manson brings Dace to his feet while Craven humiliates Siclen by scraping his boot along the face of MVS. Manson grabs Dace by the tights and takes him over to the ropes, trying to dump him over...but once again, the elimination isn't happening as Dace hangs on! Manson connects with a knee to Dace's stomach, and then another! However, it still isn't enough as Dace clutches onto the top rope for all he's worth.

 

"Manson won't be able to do it this time around," Riley admits. "Maybe another Consequences would do it!"

 

"You just want to see Citizen Night get demolished, don't you?"

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

The countdown begins again with the crowd counting along, as Duran gets to his feet, and tries to help Manson toss Dace over the top.

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

However, it still isn't working, and Duran is the one who lifts the knee into the side of Dace this time! However, Dace isn't budging, and he even fires back an elbow into the face of Manson, staggering him backwards!

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

Craven hits another boot scrape on MVS and talks trash to The Spectacle as Duran tries to fight Dace over the top rope.

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"NOW LET'S BEGIN!"

 

Bad Ronald's "Let's Begin" plays as the crowd turns to the entranceway, watching as "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins makes his entrance!

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #6: SPIKE JENKINS

 

"Yeah!" Comet cheerily screams for Spike's entrance. "Things look to be evened up again in this Clusterfunk!"

 

Meanwhile, Craven has finally decided to sit MVS up on the mat, only to lock on a sleeperhold, clearly only humiliating The Spectacle at this point. Spike takes his time moving down the ramp as "Let's Begin" fades out, and the crowd is buzzing, some people telling Spike to get in the ring already.

 

"Is Spike afraid of the big bad men in the ring," Riley questions in a mocking tone.

 

"Can't blame him. Citizen Night sliced him up in the SJL, and Citizen Duran put him through a barbed-wire table!"

 

As Night fires another elbow into the face of Duran, freeing him from the ropes, Duran is forced to back off a step or two as Manson aims and charges at Dace, looking for yet ANOTHER Yakuza kick! However, the third Yakuza kick in this match is a charm, as Dace turns the tables, dodging the kick as Manson crotches himself on the top rope! The crowd doesn't have time to sympathize with Manson's crotchial plight, as Dace grabs the leg of Manson that is inside the ring and easily powers it up, sending Manson up and over the top rope to the floor!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-MANSON-

ENTERED: 3rd

ELIMINATED: 1st

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Dace Night

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Mike Van Siclen, Dace Night, John Duran, Spike Jenkins (kinda)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

"Manson is out of the 'Fuck!" announces Riley, as Manson immediately gets to his feet on the floor, trying to get back in the ring to attack Dace, but Anthony Michael Hall and Mark Hebner hold him back and escort him to the backstage area. Jenkins is sure to avoid the angry Manson as the match continues in the ring.

 

In the ring, Craven is done toying with Van Siclen and looks to be going for the kill, aiming him towards the outside and grabbing his tights, chucking him over and to the floor...

 

<><>...

 

...or did he? Van Siclen's feet waver over the ground as Craven celebrates his elimination of number two, as Eddy Long signals that Van Siclen's feet did not hit the floor!

 

"There's no way his feet didn't hit the floor, Comet?"

 

"If the ref says it, it must be so," is Comet's sage-like response.

 

The crowd cheers as Van Siclen weasels his way up away from the floor, getting a leg over to the apron and remaining in the match--but just barely--rolling into the ring quickly! Meanwhile, Duran attacks Dace from behind, driving him to the corner and lifting Dace up onto the turnbuckles, trying to shove him out over the top rope, as Dace puts up more resistance! Finally, Spike makes his move, sliding into the ring and avoiding Craven, who is just turning around to notice that MVS is still in this match! Hollywood comes over and tries to help Duran push Dace over the top rope. It's not happening just yet, however, and Duran turns, noticing that Spike is in the ring! The Notorious One palms Spike's face and shoves him down to the mat, the crowd booing the cruel John Duran as Spike rolls back to his feet!

 

"Robert, I don't think Citizen Jenkins took that insult very well."

 

"Of course not, it's an insult!"

 

Jenkins comes up to Duran, tapping him on the shoulder and stepping back a little bit, crouching and waiting for the moment. Finally, John turns around, and Spike shuffles his feet forward...

 

*CRACK*

 

"LAST DANCE! LAST DANCE!" Riley shrieks.

 

Spike's boot reaches up high enough so that it connects with Duran's face and sends The Notorious One to the mat, as the crowd erupts in cheers! Dace gets himself off the turnbuckles, and Spike heads for the hills, falling to the mat and going under the bottom rope, trying to keep him out of harm's way! However, Dace simply walks over and is strong enough to pry Spike off the bottom rope, as the crowd begins to cheer, knowing what Dace has done to Spike in the past through the SmarkTron video!

 

"Fortunately, Dace won't be able to slice up Jenkins in this match if he doesn't go get his weedwhacker now," Riley reassures us.

 

Dace begins to unload elbow smashes into the face of Spike, and the crowd is cheering along as Dace beats down his former foe!

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

Craven picks MVS up, and puts him in a fireman's carry position, as the crowd begins to boo the beginning to the Gulf Coast Crunch...

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

...but MVS slips out of it! Van Siclen catches Craven as he turns around, putting his head between Craven's legs and lifting up, putting Craven's body over his head and holding onto the legs, keeping Craven's ahead around Van Siclen's legs for a moment before dropping down hard, spiking The King of Nightmare's head right into the mat to a huge cheer from the crowd!

 

"VAN SLAMINATOR!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Duran gets to his feet as the buzzer sounds, and Dace is still beating on Spike with repeated elbow smashes, stiff and right into the face of Spike, as the lights go out! Cameras flash as they capture Dace continuing to beat down on Spike with repeated forearm smashes...

 

"Are you scared....?"

 

The crowd almost explodes just on this!

 

"He's here...."

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #7: AECAS

 

The crowd recognizes the big man from the SJL as he makes his entrance, walking down to the ring and holding something over his head.

 

"What is that, Comet?"

 

"Robert, I think it's a potted plant!"

 

Indeed, the crowd too cheers at the potted plant as they see it with the lights back on! Dace is still unloading elbow smash after elbow smash, and Spike is already starting to bleed from his forehead from all the elbow smashes! The ring is in absolute chaos as Duran gets to his feet, going over to Dace slowly and then clocking him in the back with a knee, as Van Siclen calls for the finish on Craven!

 

"MVS is going for the Riot Act! It's hard to keep up with all this action, Comet!"

 

"Just wait until more wrestlers get in the ring, Robert!"

 

The biggest one yet is about to make his entrance, as Aecas places the potted plant in a corner and calmly steps up and through the ropes, coming after the Notorious One with a psychotic look on his face. Duran is still hammering away on Dace as Dace is trying to fight back, but The Black Angel helps that cause, coming up to Duran's side and facing him, wrapping his right arm tightly around the throat of John! The crowd rises to their feet as Duran's left arm is draped over that same right arm, and then Aecas grabs John's tights, lifting him up in the air, turning and DESTROYING Duran with an Uranage Suplex!

 

"We all know that the Trinity is in talks with Aecas to join their group, and I think this just confirmed it!"

 

Craven is brought up for the Riot Act, as Van Siclen lifts Craven up into a seated positon on his shoulders before letting Michael hang down dangerously. Mike tries to hook his legs around the dangling arms of Craven, and Craven fights it, but Van Siclen finally catches Michael's arms and quickly drops to a knee without another thought, dropping Craven once again on his head!

 

"OHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"That's it! Citizen Siclen just ended Citizen Craven's run, now all he has to do is chuck him over the top rope!"

 

"No, it can't be happening this way!"

 

Some members of the crowd are beginning to wonder if Craven has a mild concussion, but he looks alright as MVS points to the nearest turnbuckle and goes for it, climbing up the turnbuckles and looking behind him as he reaches the top.

 

"What is Citizen Siclen doing?"

 

"He's a showboat, Comet, he wants to finish off Craven in a flashy way!"

 

Dace turns and sees MVS on the turnbuckle and goes for the kill, charging at the turnbuckle that Mike is standing on...

 

...but MVS flips off the turnbuckle, flipping through the air past Craven's body...and LANDS ON HIS FEET! Dace comes back at Van Siclen as he notices that he's behind him...but Siclen grabs Night and quickly draws the High Priest up and over with a quick powerslam! Spike's a bloody mess now from the elbow smashes, and Duran's downed body is next to him, but there's nothing that Spike can do about it as he is too weak to move. Meanwhile, Craven is barely now moving. Aecas is the only other one besides MVS moving, and that's unfortunate as Aecas spins MVS around and picks up Siclen onto his shoulder, backing up into the corner as Dace is just barely out of the way of Aecas' big feet, as Aecas runs almost all the way across the ring before dropping MVS hard with a running powerslam to a big "OOOH" from the crowd!

 

"Aecas is just a beast out there, it won't be long before he starts tossing people over the top!"

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"And Citizen Duran better be one of the first, because I can't stand that unjust person anymore!"

 

The countdown begins as Spike confronts Aecas, trying to chopblock the big man's knee out...to no avail. The crowd begins to cheer as Aecas' look turns to Spike, an evil, chilly look that almost sends Spike running for the hills...but Aecas caught him first!

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Aecas looks to toss Spike, but Dace reaches his feet and tells him to wait!

 

"What is this?" Comet questions, obviously confused.

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

As Dace signals Aecas to go for the potted plant, the remix of Elvis Presley's "Little Less Conversation" strikes up! The crowd does not know who it is at first, but one look at the the giant gold medallion and everyone knows.

 

"MEMPHIS EEL! MEMPHIS EEL!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #8: THE MEMPHIS EEL

 

The Eel takes his good sweet time coming down to the ring, and Dace stares in disbelief at the ring-for-every-finger Memphis Eel, before bringing Duran up off the mat, Spike stumbling all over the place, disoriented. Dace picks Duran up and Duran is able to stand on his own as Aecas grabs the potted plant, the crowd cheering as they can only imagine what's next! "Little Less Conversation" fades out...and the Eel is still only halfway down the ramp.

 

"The Memphis Eel needs to get his ass in that ring and save Duran from the fate of the potted plant," Riley pleads.

 

However, Dace directs traffic and Aecas nods, winding up and tossing the potted plant, as it hurtles right towards Duran's head...

 

...but Duran ducks!

 

WHAM!

 

Spike is in the line of fire, as the potted plant NAILS Spike right on the side of the bloody face, sending him right over the top rope and to the outside to an amazing cheer from the crowd, the pot that holds the plant not even breaking!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-SPIKE JENKINS-

ENTERED: 6th

ELIMINATED: 2nd

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Aecas

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Mike Van Siclen, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas, The Memphis Eel

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Spike lands with a sickening plop on the floor as Nick Soapdish checks on him and tries to help him to his feet.

 

"Well, that was certainly a weird way for Citizen Jenkins to go out!"

 

"Spike didn't have much of a chance in there, he was already beginning to lose a lot of blood."

 

Dace is in shock that Duran ducked the potted plant, and goes over to work over the Notorious One ... but Duran gets an uppercut between the legs of Dace.

 

"OHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Dace falls to his knees from the low blow, and Duran stumbles back to his feet, noticing a blur as a big 7 foot figure bends over to take him out...

 

BOOM!

 

Aecas and Duran collide hard, as Aecas drives Duran into next week with a BRUTAL Gore! The crowd explodes with cheers towards the new member of the Trinity, as he gets to his feet and turns, looking for more people to hurt. Meanwhile, Siclen and Craven are both getting to their feet at the same time! Siclen, however, looks quite exhausted. Aecas tracks down Siclen, turning and charging at the Spectacle, lifting up his boot and blasting MVS in the face with it as Van Siclen falls over the top rope and to the floor!

 

"And there goes your pick, Robert!"

 

"Noooooooooooo! He wasn't my pick, but NOOOOOOO!"

 

The crowd is eating it up as MVS can't even stand once he hits the floor, needing to be helped up after being exhausted.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-MIKE VAN SICLEN-

ENTERED: 2nd

ELIMINATED: 3rd

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Aecas

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas, The Memphis Eel

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The Memphis Eel finally reaches the ring after much stalling--which includes taking off all his jewelry and handing it to Anthony Michael Hall, knocking him over with the weight of it--climbing into the ring and stepping through the ropes. The Memphis Eel immediately points at Craven, expecting a crowd reaction but getting none. So he just goes over to the Ironman in the match so far...and hits him with a punch!

 

"Look at that punch from Mickey Gilley's 3rd cousin, Comet!"

 

Memphis Eel winds up...and hits another punch!

 

"Those punches are deadly, Robert!"

 

The Eel hits a knee lift, doubling a tired Craven over! Steve then moves on to Dace Night threatening to hit the punch...and then winding up and hitting a REALLY big punch!

 

"WHAT A PUNCH!"

 

Dace is then picked up by the moonshine jug player, and given a bodyslam right to the mat!

 

"Citizen Eel is a house on fire!"

 

Finally, the Eel turns to Aecas...and the wrist goes limp! The Eel begins to strut towards Aecas in a pimp-like way...

 

...and AECAS DOESN'T MOVE!

 

The crowd "ohhhh"s in surprise, and Aecas picks the Memphis Eel up for what looks to be a spinebuster, but Duran comes up from behind, clubbing Aecas in the back as Aecas is distracted, dropping the Eel to the mat! Aecas turns around to face Duran, and Duran nails Aecas in the gut, bringing the big man down to Duran's level as he's put in a front facelock by the Notorious One, who drops back and spikes Aecas into the mat with a DDT!

 

"Aecas has finally hit the mat!"

 

"But it won't be for long, Robert. Citizen Aecas will get up faster than you with a hot date."

 

"Enrique Iglesias?"

 

With Aecas down, Eel gets back to his feet and goes after Duran! He catches Duran off guard with a kneelift, and then puts him in a standing headscissors!

 

"Citizen Eel! No! He's going for the piledriver!"

 

Steve looks to lift Duran up for the Piledriver...but The Notorious One reverses it and sends the Eel over the top rope!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-THE MEMPHIS EEL-

ENTERED: 8th

ELIMINATED: 4th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: John Duran

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

"The Eel was robbed!" Riley screams, but Comet comforts him.

 

"There's always next year, Robert!"

 

The refs surround the Eel and tell him to head to the back, but the Eel shakes his head in disbelief.

 

"Son, are you on the reefer?" The Eel asks one of the refs audibly, and the crowd members within earshot laugh as Anthony Michael Hall pleads with the Eel to head to the back. Soapdish brings Eel's accessories, and the Eel complies, taking his time in putting everything back on, ESPECIALLY the "FUNK" medallion.

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"We've got another participant on the way, and hopefully it's someone better than Citizen Eel!"

 

"NO one is better than The Memphis Eel!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Craven remains on his feet, trying to catch his wind as Aecas, who has long since gotten to his feet after the DDT from Duran and has been waiting in the wings for the right moment, takes it now and approaches Michael, and Craven doesn't have anything to offer up in defense. The crowd cheers as Aecas approaches him. Duran and Dace, who have both been resting up to this point, suddenly get involved in the match again as Dace gets up and brings Duran to his feet, nailing a knife-edge chop!

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Disturbed's "Meaning of Life" kicks in and the crowd looks towards the entranceway as Jacob Helmsley makes his entrance!

 

"It's the SJL veteran!" Comet points out excitedly.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #9: JACOB HELMSLEY

 

Jacob takes a slow walk, looking very evil as he moves down to the ring in his trench coat. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Dace whips Duran to the other side of the ring, and Dace runs towards the middle of the ring, but they're both thinking the same thing as they both connect with lariats. Both collapse in the center of the ring, as Aecas looms over Craven, who might not know whether he's in Ohio or Oslo, Norway.

 

"This does NOT look good for Craven," Comet reveals.

 

"I don't know, he might have a chance against a 7 foot beast," Riley considers sarcastically.

 

Aecas brings Craven up to his feet and out of the turnbuckle, picking Craven up over his head into a Gorilla Press! The crowd is amazed at Aecas' feat of strength, as he walks out of the corner slightly, turning towards the opposite side of the ring.

 

"Citizen Craven must be eight feet in the air!"

 

Finally, The Black Angel runs forward, leaping into the air and sitting out as his opponent is flipped over onto his back, and SLAMMING Craven back first into the mat!

 

"MOTHER F'N BOMB! THE MOTHER F'N BOMB FROM CITIZEN AECAS!"

 

"I don't know how much more punishment Craven can take! He's only been in the ring 18 minutes, but he's been dropped on his head twice, and right now he's getting a workout from Aecas!"

 

Finally, Jacob Helmsley reaches the ring, and begins to take off his trench coat, whipping it off as the arms of it fly back...and it hits Eddy Long...and EDDY LONG GOES DOWN! The crowd is confused as the other refs look at Eddy to see what's wrong...and then the steel pipe falls out of Helmsley's coat!

 

"The trench coat is LOADED, Comet!"

 

Anthony Michael Hall grabs the steel pipe and looks at Helmsley, before confiscating it. Jacob simply shrugs and slides into the ring. Aecas is getting to his feet after hitting the Mother F'N Bomb, and Jacob simply walks around the downed bodies of Duran and Dace, both showing movement since the double clothesline, and turns Aecas around before grabbing him and using all his force to bring Aecas off his feet! The crowd "OOOOH"s in shock, as Helmsley turns to the left and drops Aecas with a belly-to-belly suplex!

 

"...How did Citizen Helmsley get Citizen Aecas up for that???"

 

"I don't know, but I'm LOVING it, Comet! It was LOADED!"

 

Dace and Duran get up to their feet at the same time, and Duran goes after Dace along with Helmsley, another double team occurring as Dace is hit with a double clothesline and then kicked and stomped on the mat! The crowd is booing the two men like crazy, as Aecas gets to his feet. The crowd's cheers return as Aecas comes up behind Jacob, welcoming Jacob in his own little way, nailing him in the back with a forearm and then putting him in a standing headscissors! Duran looks at Aecas but decides to stay out of it as Aecas turns towards the center of the ring, away from his Trinity teammate!

 

"Jacob's going to be in a world of hurt soon, I suspect..."

 

Aecas lifts Jacob up and then quickly slams him down with a powerbomb! ...But then Aecas picks Jacob up again! The crowd appreciates the show of strength from Aecas as Jacob simply thrusts down, letting Helmsley off his shoulders as the JL veteran hits the mat WITH AUTHORITY!

 

"My word! A double powerbomb by Citizen Aecas! And he's putting Citizen Helmsley in his place. I don't know if anyone can stop him!"

 

"Dace could, if he'd start realizing that this is EVERY man for himself."

 

Now with Aecas' back turned and Dace out of commission, Duran goes for the kill once The Black Angel turns around, crouching down and going for a spear to the stomach of Aecas...but the Shrewsbury native will have none of that. Aecas doesn't budge, and simply puts his arms around Duran's waist, lifting Duran up with ease and putting him on his shoulders before dropping down lewdly, slamming the Notorious One down with GUSTO~ as Duran's back arches in pain from the gutwrench powerbomb, even though the crowd is loving it as Aecas gets to his feet!

 

"Alright, Comet, I'm changing my pick to Aecas."

 

"You sure this is your final pick, Robert?"

 

"Are you on the reefer, Comet? Look at him go!"

 

Craven crawls through the ropes and climbs up to the turnbuckle, Aecas not seeing him at first but the crowd seeing him as the cameras are already flashing. Aecas finally turns around, and Craven leaps off with all of his strength, hitting the missile dropkick spot on...but Aecas doesn't go down! The crowd cheers, and Craven gets to his feet as quickly as possible in disbelief! Craven runs behind Aecas and Aecas just stands with a crazy look on his face and Craven dives down to clip Aecas' knee...but Aecas barely even budges! Aecas turns around to face Craven, looking absolutely loony.

 

"Run Craven, Run!" urges Riley and Comet at the same time. Craven does no such thing, however, as the King of Nightmares goes for broke, standing there and winding up...here it comes...

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH!

 

...DOESN'T AFFECT AECAS AT ALL!

 

Aecas puts a boot into Craven's midsection, putting him in a standing headscissors and hooking both of Craven's arms, before lifting him up in a Canadian Backbreaker position! Craven might as well be dead to the world on Aecas' shoulders, as Aecas turns around and then sits out, flipping Craven over and bringing him down FACEFIRST into the mat!

 

"UNHOLY DRIVER! CRAVEN IS DEAD!"

 

"Another shot to the head on Craven! How much more could he possibly take?"

 

Everyone is down or catching their breath, except for Aecas, who stands tall over all and receives a standing ovation for his absolute domination of everyone (except for Dace).

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"Here we go! Could this be Thugg? If it is, then we might have a clash of the titans, right here!"

 

"Whoever it is, it should be explosive!" hypes Comet.

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Aecas simply waits, as the only one showing sign of movements is Dace and Jacob.

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"Master of Puppets" kicks in!

[Guest Evolution]

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #10: XERO

 

The crowd is in silence, wondering how Xero even managed to get into this event.

 

"It's Xero! Will he be enough to stop Aecas?"

 

"I don't know, Robert. I mean...look at him!"

 

Xero is full of energy as he storms down the ring and slides right in, staring at the Black Angel from a distance.

 

Instead of going straight for Aecas, however, Xero deviates from the norm and goes after Dace! He brings Dace to his feet, kicks him in the midsection, and then grabs Dace's head in a front facelock before dropping Dace with a DDT! The crowd boos Xero and is already bored of him as he gets to his feet, and NOW goes for Aecas! Xero bounces off the nearest ropes, and then leaps in the air, connecting with a leg lariat.

 

...AND AECAS CATCHES THE LEG!

 

"Oh, that was just stupid of Citizen Xero."

 

The crowd explodes again as Aecas swings the left leg of Xero up over his shoulder, and does the same with the other leg, leaving Xero's head exposed and in position for the...

 

BOOM

 

"EXECUTIONER! OUT OF NOWHERE! XERO IS DONE!"

 

Xero crumples to the mat after being rudely dropped on his head in a hurry, and Aecas simply lifts Xero right back up, putting him in a Gorilla Press and going to the various sides of the ring, the crowd cheering for each section as Aecas finally throws Xero out of the ring... Xero gets serious hang time...

 

...and HIS FACE CATCHES THE GUARDRAIL!

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-XERO-

ENTERED: 10th

ELIMINATED: 5th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Aecas

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas, Jacob Helmsley

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The chants continue as Xero lays on the ground, practically convulsing as once again, refs are forced to check on a wrestler and get him backstage. Soapdish is the man for the job this time. Meanwhile, Jacob is picking himself up on the ropes, and he stares right into the eyes of Aecas, and then signals Aecas to BRING IT ON.

 

"Has Citizen Helmsley lost his mind?"

 

"That man is one sick little puppy! He doesn't have a few screws loose...there are no screws!"

 

Aecas comes towards Jacob in the corner with an evil look on his face...as Duran and Craven get to their feet! The crowd boos as both Duran and Craven charge Aecas, and before he has a chance to turn around...

 

They both take his knees out! This time, the clipping of the knees works as the giant crumbles, and Jacob, John, and Michael all get MAJOR heat as they get to their feet and begin stomping away at Aecas! This brings Dace to attention, but Duran sees him coming and gives him a back elbow, staggering the High Priest! Helmsley and Craven keep stomping away at the big man as Duran comes forward, hammering a knee into the midsection of Dace. Dace doubles over and Duran goes behind him, setting him upright and then picking him up as if to go for a Burning Hammer.

 

"Oh no! Citizen Night is being set up for..."

 

"BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA, CLUSTERFUCK STYLE!"

 

Duran comes towards the middle of the ring, and turns his body clockwise before reversing his momentum and sending Dace's legs swinging out behind him violently, as Duran sits out, and...

 

BOOM

 

Dace's neck spiking into the shoulder blade of Duran as Dace falls in a heap on the mat! The crowd is not liking this at all, and letting their opinions known to the three men currently standing in the ring. Duran goes back to stomping away at Aecas, and now all three men bring Aecas to his feet! Duran rakes the eyes of Aecas, blinding him as Jacob spins, lifting his leg in the air and catching Aecas with a spinning heel kick! However, Jacob keeps the leg hooked around Aecas' neck...and drops Aecas back as the Black Angel's neck is sandwiched in between Jacob's legs!

 

"Blackout! Jacob Helmsley with the Blackout!"

 

Jacob holds his legs in position, starting to choke out Aecas as Aecas tries to power out of Jacob's legs, while Craven holds down Aecas' legs to keep him from kicking his way out!

 

"They're all trying to eliminate Citizen Aecas!"

 

"It makes sense, Comet, they've all seen what he's done to the people he's eliminated...they don't want to be next!"

 

The crowd continues to boo as Jacob keeps wrenching on the neck of Aecas with his legs. Duran watches over all of this and then turns...to see Dace getting to his feet after the Blunt Force Trauma! Not wanting to have the High Priest of Horrorcore put a halt to the Blackout choke, Duran gets in Dace's way and raises a knee right into Dace's face as Night reaches one knee himself!

 

"Jesus H. Christ, Duran'll break noses with a knee like that!"

 

Dace doesn't go down, however, and Duran just goes into the corner, pushing Dace out of it and going behind him! He takes Dace's lower arm and puts it between Dace's legs, grabbing the arm with his hands and hooking the other arm of the Brummie!

 

"Citizen Duran looking for a pumphandle slam here..."

 

"...No, I think this is something else, Comet, I think I've seen this during his training!"

 

Duran lifts Dace up out of the pumphandle position and puts Dace up onto his shoulders, as Dace faces the lights in the Gund Arena! The crowd has all eyes on what's about to happen next as Duran lets the arm in his grasp go, swinging Dace out behind him again and dropping to the mat as Duran faces the turnbuckles and

 

WHAM

 

Dace's neck is wrenched on Duran's shoulder blade again!

 

"YES! BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA II BETA!"

 

"That's a mouthful, Robert."

 

"You have no idea."

 

Dace goes down again, and the crowd continues to boo Duran, but he just gives them the middle finger, which only incites the crowd further.

 

"This crowd knows John Duran from his SJL days, it's easy to assume that they're used to his middle finger antics."

 

"Citizen Duran should have more respect for the paying public than to give them that finger!"

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

The crowd begins to count down, hoping that the next entrant is someone they can cheer for.

 

"Who do you think is next, Robert?"

 

"I'm pulling for the Thugg, so we can finally get someone in this ring who can toss Aecas!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Jacob finally breaks the Blackout choke as Aecas doesn't appear to be putting up much resistance anymore, limp on the mat as Craven releases the hold on Aecas' legs. They both lift The Black Angel up and direct him towards the ropes opposite the entranceway, trying to dump Aecas over the top rope and in front of the announcers' table.

 

"They're going to try and dump him in front of us, Comet!"

 

"Citizen Aecas is deadweight now after that Blackout, though, it'll be like lifting a 7-foot tall sack of potatoes!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

A wall of blue and silver pyros shoots into the air, and the crowd gives a mixed reaction to Stryke as Cypress Hill's "How I Could Just Kill A Man" starts up!

 

"It's Stryke! He's put his career on the line, and now is his chance to shine!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #11: STRYKE

 

Stryke storms down to the ring, and some of the crowd is cheering Stryke in what could be his final effort in the SWF as Stryke slides in the ring, making a beeline right to Jacob Helmsley and Michael Craven, clubbing Jacob Helmsley on the back and dragging him away from his efforts of trying to dump Aecas over the top rope! Duran goes over to attack Stryke and go for a double team, but Dace cuts the Notorious One off as the Brummie won't stay down!

 

"How is Dace still moving? His neck has been put through more punishment than a 1800s schoolboy!"

 

"It's the desire to win, Robert, and he knows that he can't give up just yet!"

 

Dace goes behind Duran and locks on a waistlock after hitting an elbow smash, and then lifts Duran up and over his head, both men falling to the mat as Dace's waistlock is released and Duran lands on his neck and shoulders after the release German suplex! The crowd is going nuts as Stryke works over Jacob, hitting him with right hands and striking him into the corner! Dace then goes over to where Craven is trying desperately to get Aecas over the top rope, and Dace drags Craven away from Aecas! Dace tries to hit an elbow smash, but Craven blocks it and pulls back his right arm, bringing it forward...

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH!

 

Dace is knocked sideways by it, but just comes off the ropes and wallops Craven with a STIFF~ elbow smash, taking him down as the crowd pops like a pussy in a Three Six Mafia song!

 

"Citizen Craven REALLY isn't having a lot of luck with that High Power Forearm Smash."

 

"You'd think he'd learn his lesson, but it's got to work SOMETIME."

 

Stryke is still pummeling on Jacob Helmsley in the corner, as Helmsley reaches a seated position, his head resting against the middle turnbuckle as Stryke goes to the turnbuckle caddy-corner from where Jacob is seated, and then runs along the ropes before leaping in the air and extending his legs out...

 

...and SCRAPING THEM ALONG THE FACE OF JACOB!

 

"OHHHHHHH!"

 

Stryke almost slides through the middle and bottom ropes, but hangs on and brings himself back in as the crowd applauds and cheers the Facewash.

 

"Citizen Stryke is going to be scraping Citizen Helmsley face off his boots after that move! Truly devastating!"

 

As soon as Stryke backs out of the corner, Dace catches him with an elbow smash, as the High Priest gets a mixed reaction for his attack of a man who might not be on the roster after tonight. Stryke is taken off guard, and Dace grabs him by his baggy pants, tossing him over the top rope!

 

"NO! It can't be over this soon for Citizen Stryke!"

 

Stryke sails over the top rope, and then begins to come down...

 

...as he grabs the top rope! Stryke fights his legs up away from the floor and gets on the apron, barely avoiding elimination!

 

"What a save by Stryke, he just saved his career with one hand on the top rope!"

 

Stryke stands up onto the apron as Dace turns to go after Duran, who is working his way to his feet after the German suplex, as Stryke leaps up onto the top rope, hopping off the top rope and extending his legs out, catching Dace in the back of the head with a springboard dropkick! The cheers are a little louder than the boos as Dace is propelled right into Aecas, his Trinity partner! Aecas, now back in fighting shape but still not quite aware of all that is going on, fires back an elbow and catches Dace right in the mouth, assuming the Brummie to be an enemy as Dace hits the mat.

 

"HA! Aecas makes a crucial mistake, and he downs his stablemate!"

 

Aecas turns to see who he just knocked down, and looks almost confused as he sees Dace directly behind him! Aecas doesn't have much time to think about it, however, as Craven rushes over and takes out the right knee of Aecas again by stomping it, taking him down to one knee and then grabbing Aecas in an inverted facelock before falling back with a smooth inverted DDT, taking the big man down again, and right next to his partner, no less!

 

"After being in control for a good portion of this match, the Trinity are taking a beating here!"

 

Stryke gets to his feet after the springboard dropkick, and Duran charges out of the corner, looking about ready to pop as he nails Stryke with a shoulderblock, carrying Stryke all the way into the corner where Stryke's back hits with FORCE~, and the lower back of Stryke unfortunately nails Jacob Helmsley, taking HIM down!

 

"Jacob Helmsley cannot be feeling too good after having his face almost scraped off by Stryke's boots and now having his face slam into the lower back of Stryke!"

 

"This is a bold prediction, Robert, but I don't think that neither Citizen Stryke nor Citizen Helmsley will be sticking around much longer!"

 

Duran tries to go to town on Stryke with punches to the body, but Jacob wants out of the corner as he gets his boot up and pushes Duran away from him, sliding out under Stryke and rising to his feet! Duran is shocked by the sudden offense from Jacob, and Helmsley suddenly latches his arm around Duran's neck as he stands up, picking Duran up off his feet and turning to his left, slamming Duran down with a Sambo suplex! The crowd boos Helmsley as Stryke remains in the corner trying to catch his wind!

 

Jacob goes for the Fear Factor, trying to set Duran up for the Indian Deathlock modification...but Craven attacks from behind! Craven then goes to Jacob's side and locks on a waistlock, as if setting up for a gutwrench suplex, but Craven instead hefts Jacob into the air, walking over to the top rope...and bringing Jacob down for the flapjack as Jacob's body straddles the top rope and then bounces out and to the floor!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-JACOB HELMSLEY-

ENTERED: 9th

ELIMINATED: 6th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Michael Craven

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas, Stryke

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

The countdown begins almost as soon as Jake's feet touch the floor. He gets to his feet almost immediately, not being able to believe that he was just eliminated, trying to get back in the ring so he can go after Craven, but the refs hold him back and begin to escort him to the back.

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

Meanwhile, Craven isn't able to celebrate his victory for long, as Dace is on his feet and running right at Craven, lifting his boot up and slamming it into the back of Craven's head. The crowd finds it unfortunate that the Yakuza kick didn't send the King of Nightmares over the top rope, but they settle for Craven falling flat on his face in the ring, cheering on the High Priest of Horrorcore.

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

"I can't believe that Dace and Aecas have been breaking the rules in this match for so long? Why are they working together as a unit? They both can't get the title shot!"

 

"What if it's a double pin?"

 

"Let's not even go there, Comet."

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

Aecas is up almost as soon as Dace, and it's a Trinity beatdown on Craven as Duran struggles to get to his feet and Stryke seems about ready to get back into this, gaining a second wind.

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

The drumbeats of Dropkick Murphys "The Gauntlet" kick in and the crowd turns towards the entranceway as the Insane Luchador comes storming out and down to the ring!

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #12: INSANE LUCHADOR

 

Luchador doesn't go directly for the ring, instead going around the ring a ways, and finding the potted plant that was used to eliminate Spike Jenkins earlier in the match!

 

"Why don't the referees just get rid of that potted plant already?"

 

"Because it's HARDCORE, Comet. Fear the plant!"

 

The Luchador puts the plant in the ring and then slides in, taking the plant and going right past the Trinity beatdown on Craven and onwards to Duran, who is struggling to get to his feet, the exhaustion beginning to set in. Luchador dives forward however, plant in hand as he clocks Duran with it, knocking him right back down! IL hangs on to the potted plant, turning towards Stryke! Stryke tries to boot the Insane one in the face, but he dodges it and strikes Stryke with the potted plant, right on the noggin! Stryke stumbles out of the corner and then falls after taking the bump on the head, and then the Luchador goes to the apron, still with the plant in his hand as he climbs to the top rope!

 

"The Insane Luchador is on fire here as he's in the match now, but this is just stupid!"

 

"Citizen Rickmen could get thrown out right here if he doesn't watch himself!"

 

The crowd rises to their feet as they watch Andrew take aim and then leap off the top rope, falling fast towards Aecas, who is still stomping away at Craven!

 

CRACK!

 

"OHHHHHHHHH!"

 

Goodbye to the potted plant, as the pot breaks over the head of Aecas and shatters into pieces as Aecas' brains get scrambled, and the Black Angel falls to the mat, the crowd unable to not cheer for the antics of the Insane Luchador as he raises a fist towards the Cleveland crowd! The refs frantically begin to search for ways to get the 3-foot long pile of soil out of the ring, as Dace stops stomping away at Craven, turning towards the Insane Luchador and moving over both Craven and Aecas' bodies as he nails IL with an elbow smash!

 

"That soil could become a very big problem if the stupid referees don't clean it out soon enough!"

 

"I'm not too sure that Citizen Aecas will be up, but I think his anger will simply grow after having the potted plant demolished on his head!"

 

"Lame joke, Comet. Anger growing. Soil. Har de har har."

 

Insane Luchador is staggered back by the elbow smash as Dace steps forward, bending down and lifting IL into the air before dropping to one knee and bringing Luchador's crotch down on it, as the Insane one feels the pain from the inverted atomic drop, and so do the Cleveland men.

 

"I haven't seen so many ball shots since--"

 

"--BUTT Blasters 5?" Comet interrupts, but Riley just gives him a weird look.

 

"No...since last year's Clusterfuck."

 

Luchador holds himself in pain and stumbles back some more, and the Insane Luchador is in the ropes as Dace grabs the back of Luchador's head and puts the knees to good use again, driving his hard kneecap into the face of Andrew and then alternating knees. Different knees, but the same effect as the crowd can feel the stiff knees all the way out to the upper deck. Meanwhile, referee Nick Soapdish, always the resourceful one, reaches under the ring and produces a broom! He begins sweeping out the soil from the ring carefully, trying to not disrupt the match.

 

"There's a smart referee! Soapdish knows the score!"

 

While the soil is cleaned out of the ring, Duran and Stryke get to their feet, both of their heads likely still ringing from the late and departed potted plant. Stryke spots Duran first, and goes on the attack, running up and wrapping his arm around the head of Duran, driving it into the mat with a bulldog as Stryke himself lands on the bottom rope, bouncing back like a spring and jumping to his feet!

 

"Citizen Stryke is determined to remain in control during this match, and it'll be a key if he wants to stay a wrestler in the SWF!"

 

"In other news, the soil has finally been cleared out of the ring!"

 

Sure enough, the ring is mostly clean with only a few specks of soil lying around. Aecas finally awakens, though one would think that any normal person would either be dead or feeling like they're having a serious hangover. Aecas doesn't seem to be too affected by it, however, and is up to his feet only a few moments after showing some sign of movement after receiving the potted plant right to the skull. Meanwhile, Dace has switched from knee strikes to elbow strikes to knee strikes, basically beating the crap out of the Insane Luchador.

 

"Citizen Dace and Citizen Aecas look to finally be back in control!"

 

And Aecas asserts control of the match, catching Stryke in a front facelock and lifting up the Aussie's arms, leaving his face exposed as Aecas sits down with a double arm DDT, driving Stryke face-first into the mat. Dace notices that Aecas is on his feet, and as the crowd cheers Aecas' return to action, Dace decides to place the Insane Luchador on the turnbuckle. He grabs the baggy pants of Andrew and lifts him up for what appears to be a suplex, but ends up just being a way for the Luchador to straddle the top turnbuckle.

 

"What could Dace have up his sleeve now?"

 

Aecas is told Dace's plan, and Aecas seems to like it as he goes over to the corner, scaling up to the top turnbuckle and putting the Insane Luchador in a front facelock! Dace clears the way by moving Duran and Stryke's bodies, and Aecas looks for the superplex...but the Luchador is trying to fight it with right hands to the body of Aecas! Aecas has a deathgrip on Luchador, however, and it's useless for IL to fight back...

 

...and then Craven comes out of nowhere! The crowd boos as the King of Nightmares nails Dace from behind with none other than the

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH!

 

Dace goes down faster than Howard Dean's poll numbers, as Craven comes up behind Aecas and sticks his head in between the legs of the Black Angel!

 

"What is Citizen Craven DOING?"

 

"I think all this time in the ring has finally gotten to Craven, Comet. He's been in the ring for close to 25 minutes, after all."

 

However, Craven backs away from the turnbuckle, and Aecas is on his shoulders! The front facelock is apparently released, and IL is left on the top turnbuckle as Craven sits out, bringing Aecas off his shoulders in an amazing feat of strength and then slamming him down face first into the mat with an electric chair drop!

 

"TEN!"

 

The crowd's boos for Craven turn to cheers as they look towards the entranceway and begin to help the countdown. Meanwhile, Michael gets the attention of Andrew and points to Aecas as he turns him over onto his back!

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

The Insane Luchador gets the message, and Craven repositions Aecas' body, holding down The Black Angel's legs!

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

The Insane Luchador begins to stand up on the turnbuckle, and then steps up to the top turnbuckle, almost losing his balance as the crowd moans in shock, half expecting the Luchador to clumsily fall to the mat.

 

"FIVE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

Andrew regains his balance, and quickly leaps off the turnbuckle, coming towards Aecas and spinning through the air.

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

The 450 splash connects and the crowd goes nuts for it, but then they turn right to the SmarkTron as DMX's "Who We Be" starts up!

 

"They don't know..."

"Who we be."

 

"They don't know..."

"Who we be."

 

"What they don't know is..."

 

BOOM!

 

A wall of fire forms across the stage in an explosion, and the space in the center is just large enough for HVT to step through, donning the black towel as plenty of fanfare is given to the Thugg's entrance!

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #13: HVT

 

"It's Citizen Thugg!"

 

"Big man number one, meet big man number two."

 

Thugg is in no hurry to get to the ring, removing his towel as he gets halfway down the ramp. Meanwhile, in the ring, the Luchador is looking in pain, even though the 420 splash connected well. Craven releases Aecas' legs...and attacks the Insane Luchador! The crowd doesn't like this at all as IL is picked up off the ground and easily thrown over the top rope by Craven, the man who just helped IL a few moments earlier!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-INSANE LUCHADOR-

ENTERED: 12th

ELIMINATED: 7th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: N/A

ELIMINATED BY: Michael Craven

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Aecas, Stryke, HVT

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

"That is the biggest injustice I have seen tonight, Robert! How could Citizen Craven do that to Citizen Luchador, just moments after the 420 splash?"

 

"That's what sets apart Craven from the rest of the men in this! He knows that it's every man for himself!"

 

Two refs assist the Insane Luchador to the back, going around the ring as HVT makes his entrance, using the top rope to hoist his huge, ripped body onto the apron and into the ring. Craven escapes away from Thugg as soon as possible, not wanting to be dropped on his head ONCE again. Dace is up on his feet, however, and wants to go for Craven but he runs into the brick wall known as Thugg. The High Priest doesn't show much sign of fear, however, and brings an elbow up, connecting with the chin of the huge Washington, D.C. native. Thugg doesn't feel a thing, though, wrapping both his meaty hands around Dace's neck and almost tossing the Brummie halfway across the ring, as Dace lands near the downed body of Duran.

 

"Looks like it's going to be a rough time for everyone in the ring against Thugg, Comet!"

 

"He's just absolutely too huge to handle!"

 

Aecas slowly begins to work his way back to his feet, and as he finally does stand, he stands face-to-face with Thugg. The fans rise to their feet as both big men stare each other down. The crowd knows something is about to happen, as Aecas throws the first shot, trying a right hand! Thugg blocks it and comes around with one of his own! That's blocked, too! As both men are locked up in blocking their opponents' arms, Aecas comes through with a knee, scoring right in the midsection of Thugg and leaving him vulnerable as Aecas grabs Thugg's ahead and spins, hitting a beautiful spinning neckbreaker that takes down the Thugg!

 

"This is the showdown I'm sure the fans were waiting to see, these two big men are going to tear this ring APART!"

 

Craven is still hiding in the corner as both Stryke and Duran reach their feet. Duran is the first to reach his feet, however, and puts Stryke in a full nelson! Stryke begins to flail around, almost being lifted off the ground by the much taller Duran! However, the Notorious One simply falls back, bringing Stryke over him and into the corner as the Dragon Suplex is performed swiftly...

 

...and STRYKE'S HEAD HITS THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE! Most of the crowd sees it, cringing in their seats as Stryke crumples up in the corner.

 

"BAM! I don't know if Duran was planning that, but it sure worked like a charm, as I don't think Stryke will be in this match for a while!

 

"HOLY SHIT!" is the chant of the moment as Aecas waits for Thugg to reach his feet again. Thugg does so, eventually, and immediately gets caught in a bear hug as Aecas attempts to lift Thugg off the ground! He does, but only for a moment as the crowd moans in disappointment. Thugg escapes the clutches of Aecas and goes behind him...locking on a full nelson! Aecas tries to escape it, but Thugg uses his amazing strength to lift Thugg up into the air with ease, as Thugg sits out and drops Aecas with him and a full nelson bomb!

 

"Is Citizen Thugg going to try and stretch this out into another one!"

 

He appears to be doing so, as the crowd begins to boo the Thugg even louder, as HVT lifts The Black Angel once again, dropping once again and nailing the full nelson bomb!

 

Thugg gets to his feet once again, with Aecas remaining in his clutches! Thugg brings Aecas up a third time, but doesn't sit out this time, instead dropping the heavy man to the mat with a full nelson slam! Some of the crowd applauds his effort, but the rest boo him straight to Indiana. Thugg ignores it as he raises his hand in the air, wiggling his fingers.

 

"He's setting up for the Untamed, Robert! This might be the end of Aecas right here!"

 

Aecas has some momentum running through him as he slowly begins to move to his feet, the crowd cheering and rooting for him as Thugg keeps close to Aecas, knowing that he can hit that Untamed at any time. Duran, who had taken a breather after nailing Stryke with the Dragon suplex into the turnbuckles, slowly gets to his feet now, as just as Aecas does the same!

 

SMACK!

 

The sound of Thugg's hand hitting the throat of Aecas is quickly drowned out by the boos of the fans as Thugg grabs Aecas' tights, lifting him up in the air and going over to the ropes!

 

"Citizen Thugg's going to chokeslam him out!"

 

"YES! Goodbye, Aecas! It's been fun, but it's over!"

 

Aecas hangs precariously over the top rope, as Thugg taunts the crowd while still holding Aecas in the air. Thugg spins in his circle near the ropes...

 

...and Duran attacks from behind!

 

There is a small pop from the crowd as Thugg is shocked by this sneak attack and drops Aecas to the floor!

 

WHACK

 

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-AECAS-

ENTERED: 7th

ELIMINATED: 8th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Spike Jenkins, Mike Van Siclen, Xero

ELIMINATED BY: HVT

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, Dace Night, John Duran, Stryke, HVT

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Aecas' landing is less than perfect, and he immediately begins to squirm in pain as Thugg turns to face Duran. Duran backs away almost immediately as the crowd continues to boo.

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

Thugg approaches Duran as Duran backs away...right into Dace Night! The crowd cheers as Duran turns around into an elbow smash from Dace!

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Duran tries to get rid of Dace, but Thugg interrupts their fight as he charges both of them, trying to clothesline them both over!

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

Dace tries to hang on to the top rope...but he misses it and falls to the floor!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-DACE NIGHT-

ENTERED: 4th

ELIMINATED: 9th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Manson

ELIMINATED BY: HVT

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, HVT

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The crowd boos as Thugg manages to eliminate two members of the Trinity in a matter of seconds, as Duran teeters on the top rope, not eliminated yet!

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Thugg gives Duran one last push over as he turns to face the entranceway, wanting to take on the next comer in the match...but there's silence! No music, no SmarkTron video...

 

...meanwhile, Duran goes over the top rope slowly enough so that he can land on the apron, avoiding elimination as the fans watching this boo Duran's near elimination. Dace is enraged, however, as he immediately goes after Duran, hitting him with rabid elbows as the refs try to pull Dace off Duran!

 

"Who is coming out to the ring, Robert?"

 

"I'm not sure, it's hard to tell anyway with this commotion right in front of us!"

 

Duran rolls under the ropes and into the ring, escaping further abuse as a man carrying a banjo walks through the entranceway.

 

"That's not a wrestler on this roster, Robert!"

 

"No, it isn't! It's Earl Scruggs!"

 

"Who?"

 

Thugg can only watch on in complete confusion as this Earl Scruggs is followed by two other men carrying instruments.

 

"It's Glen Duncan and Randy Scruggs!"

 

"Who are these people, Robert?"

 

They all stand on stage and begin to play the bluegrass classic "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" as the crowd doesn't cheer until "Coyote" Coy West makes his entrance!

 

"Oh, it's Coy West's friends."

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #14: COY WEST

 

Thugg is not amused as "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" continues, and the redneck continues to advance to the ring.

 

"Apparently, Robert, Coy has mistaken this arena for a Walmart, as I think he figures there should be country music playing!"

 

"That's not very respectful towards the legends of country like Earl Scruggs."

 

Thugg is tired of looking at the Coyote as he turns his back to Coy, looking at the scene in front of him. Craven is still hoping that Thugg won't see him, Stryke is still seeing tweety birds circling around his head and Duran...well, and Duran isn't out! The referees escort Dace and Aecas past Coy West, as Thugg chooses his victim as Craven. Thugg goes to the corner where Craven was trying to not make himself noticeable, and Thugg approaches, reaching for Craven's hair and trying to pull him up...but Craven brings up an arm between the legs of Thugg! The crowd boos Craven despite falling the giant with a low blow, and Craven gives an evil smile.

 

"He had that planned all along! Citizen Craven was just waiting for Thugg to take the bait!"

 

"This is why Craven is my pick, Comet.

 

Stryke is back to his feet by the time Thugg falls to his knees, and Stryke shakes the cobwebs off after an extended break. Stryke tries to go after Craven, but Duran grabs Stryke's foot and holds on to it as Duran remains on the ground after rolling back into the ring! Stryke tries to kick Duran away, but Duran does no such thing as he rises to his feet with Stryke's foot still in his hands! As this is happening, Coy West enters the ring and Craven goes right for him!

 

"Good strategy from Craven here, as he's going to try and weaken the fresh man in Coy as soon as possible so that he's not so fresh!"

 

"Don't they make hygiene products for that kind of thing, Robert?"

 

As Duran reaches a vertical base with Stryke's foot still in his hand, Stryke comes around with the other leg and clocks Duran with an enzuigiri! The crowd cheers Stryke's sudden reversal of a sticky situation, as Craven and Coy West begin to duke it out! Stryke gets up and immediately goes for Thugg, noticing that HVT is still tending to himself. Stryke brings Thugg to his feet and tries to dump him over the top rope, as the crowd encourages Stryke to use all of his strength to get rid of Thugg.

 

"This is a practice in futility, Comet. There's no way that Stryke is going to get rid of Thugg, and his best bet is saving himself so he doesn't get eliminated along with his entire SWF career!"

 

"Well, bollocks to that, because I'm rooting for Citizen Stryke anyway!"

 

Thugg isn't budging, though, and Duran reaches his feet and peels Stryke off Thugg, saving HVT for another few minutes, at least, as Duran begins to pound away at Stryke, pushing him into the corner opposite where Thugg just dodged a potential elimination. Meanwhile, Coy has taken advantage of Craven in their slugfest, as he grabs one of Craven's arms and chucks him into the ropes. Coy bounces off the opposite side, and as they meet in the center of the ring, Coy leaps up in the air and catches Craven with a lariat, knocking Craven down to a positive reaction from the crowd!

 

"For a white man, Coy sure has some hops!"

 

"Perhaps white men CAN jump!" Comet wishfully thinks out loud.

 

Coy then brings Craven back to his feet, making a tornado with his finger and forming a circle with it in the air as the Coyote lifts up Craven into a Fireman’s carry position and begins to turn his body, bringing The King of Nightmares along for the ride as well! Coy and Michael spin around and around, the mullet gaining altitude and beginning to lift up on its own accord as the Coyote finally breaks the airplane spin, throwing Craven off as Coy does one more spin before falling down as he loses his balance!

 

"White men can't spin, Comet."

 

"Coy better watch himself, because HVT is on the prowl!"

 

Thugg isn't looking for the Coyote, he's looking for Stryke, and he finds him brawling with Duran.

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

As the countdown begins, Thugg takes Stryke, quickly putting him in a standing headscissors and then wrapping his arms around Stryke's waist, lifting him up into the air and then thrusting down, simply releasing as Stryke slams against the ground hard after a power bomb!

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"Well, there's the revenge that Thugg's been looking for on Stryke for trying to eliminate him!"

 

Out of nowhere, Duran comes up with a knee into the six-pack of Thugg!

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Thugg is doubled over in surprise, and Duran capitalizes on it by holding Thugg's head steady and bringing his knee up, striking HVT right in the temple as he falls to the mat! Coy is bringing himself up with the ropes, still feeling a little woozy, and Duran walks over calmly to beat on Coy!

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

...But Coy sees Duran coming and shuffles his feet before lifting his leg and hitting a superkick! Duran grabs Coy's leg, however!

 

"Citizen West is caught between the ropes and a Notorious man!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

As the buzzer sounds, Duran drops Coy's boot and rushes forward, beheading the Coyote with a vicious clothesline. Cradle of Filth's "Born In A Burial Gown" plays, and Jimmy Liston, otherwise known as "The Demon", comes out and hurries down to the ring, as Duran is the last man standing in the destruction.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #15: JIMMY LISTON

 

Stryke rolls under the bottom rope and stays on the apron, listening to Riley's advice and actually staying out of the match and healing up his hurting body parts. Liston slides into the ring, and Duran and Liston immediately begin trading right hands! Duran tires out quickly from exhaustion, and Liston takes control, even getting some cheers from the fans! Duran is unable to defend himself as Liston grabs Duran's head and falls to his knees, slamming the Illinois native's jaw right into Liston's shoulder as the jawbreaker connects!

 

"Liston is absolutely schooling Duran!"

 

"Schooling? I didn't know Citizen Liston was a teacher."

 

"Yeahwellyoulearnsomethingneweveryday anyway, back to the action!"

 

Liston turns to see Craven rising to his feet and attempts to accost him so that he can bring Craven up for an offensive attack, but the King of Nightmares is one step ahead of him! Craven rises to his feet and dives forward, as Michael connects with a clothesline, knocking The Demon to the mat!

 

"Look at that! Craven is ALWAYS thinking, Comet!"

 

"You've seen Citizen Duran has been tired, now. Citizen Craven has been in about ten minutes longer than him, do you think he's not feeling the same effects of being in this ring! Heck, Citizen Craven's been dropped on his head about five times in this match!"

 

"Okay, so maybe he won't be thinking very much. Good instincts though, Comet. The boy's got good instincts."

 

Craven grabs the hair of Liston and tries to bring Jimmy to his feet, but Michael meets Thugg first. Thugg doesn't look too happy, as he grabs the near arm of Craven and whips him HARD into the turnbuckle! Craven hits the turnbuckle with a whack and Thugg is right behind him, gaining momentum and hurdling towards The King of Nightmares!

 

...Then Craven moves! Thugg hits the turnbuckles with a hard THUD himself, staggering back from the backfired momentum! Craven looks to be going for the

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH

 

...and it doesn't work this time, either! Liston blocks it with his arm, coming out of nowhere and hooking the arm of Craven that tried the

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH

 

and then hooking the other arm as well, leaving Craven defenseless and face to face with the Demon as Jimmy brings his head forward and puts his head to good use!

 

"Look at those headbutts from Citizen Liston, Robert!"

 

"But it's terrible! There's nothing that Craven can do about it! Poor Craven's head!"

 

After about the fourth or fifth headbutt, Liston finally unhooks the arms of Craven and lets the King of Nightmares fall to the floor, his head having received more punishment! Thugg is no longer stunned from the trip into the turnbuckles, and Liston offers his hand to Thugg in a show of respect.

 

"What is this? Citizen Liston is offering a handshake?"

 

"Either that or he wants the five bucks from last night. ...So, we'll go with your idea, Comet."

 

Thugg just looks at The Demon, and then cold cocks him with a right hand that sends Jimmy down to the mat, the crowd booing as the much bigger Thugg brings Liston back up to his feet!

 

"Liston should've known better, Thugg is making a target of pretty much every SJL member who has come to the SWF, and he's a pretty big target himself, which is why he's likely to win!"

 

Thugg looks to go for the Untamed, but Coy grabs Thugg's hand as he brings it back to clasp around the throat of Liston! Thugg whips around to stare at the Coyote, but Coy isn't backing down.

 

"Uh-oh. I don't think I've urged this enough in the past, but I think now would be a great time for Coy to head for the hills."

 

Coy does no such thing, instead standing up tall--well, as tall as he can as 8-9 inches shorter than Thugg. Coy even begins dancing a little country jig in his white trash wrestling boots, taunting the Thugg.

 

"He's dancing like a white boy in front of HVT! ...Well, he is white. But he's dancing! It's awful!"

 

"Even superheroes like me know not to do that!"

 

Thugg responds nicely to the dancing exhibition, putting both of his hands around the throat of Coy and easily tossing him over the top rope as the Coyote tumbles to the floor.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-COY WEST-

ENTERED: 14th

ELIMINATED: 10th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: HVT

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, HVT, Jimmy Liston

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

"And the mullet is OUTTA here!"

 

"Guess Citizen West will just have to keep working at Walmart to make ends meet, because that extra money isn't coming his way from the SWF anytime soon!"

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

The referees try to escort the Coyote to the back, but Coy is trying to barter the shirt off his back to a rather plump woman in the crowd. Nick Soapdish finally is able to lead Coy away, but the plump woman blows him a kiss.

 

Meanwhile, in the ring, Thugg turns around to finish what he started with Liston...but Liston's not there!

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

Thugg swings around, back to where Coy West WAS...and there's Liston! Liston attempts a jawbreaker again, but HVT breaks it up before it even gets started!

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

Liston's throat gets invaded by a hand again, and Thugg tries to lift him up for the Untamed again! However, he doesn't see Craven coming up behind him, going for the

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH!

 

Of course, it doesn't connect, as Thugg simply grabs Craven around the throat as well!

 

"DOUBLE CHOKESLAM, COMING UP!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

The countdown continues as Duran bounces off the ropes, coming right at Thugg with his hands full as Duran crouches down.

 

WHAM

 

Duran's shoulder collides with the torso of HVT, and it's enough to drop Liston and Craven, but not enough to drop the Thugg himself!

 

"Now he's done pissed off the black man," Riley says in a sad tone.

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

"Ahhhhhhhh!"

 

AC/DC's "Shoot To Thrill" fires up over the speakers, and the crowd immediately boos Todd Royal as he makes his entrance.

 

"It's another SJLer," Comet points out excitedly.

 

"TODD BLESS US EVERYONE!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #16: TODD ROYAL

 

Todd comes down to the ring with a slow jog, as Thugg is clubbing away at Duran after failing with the spear.

 

"You know, Comet, I think we should see that elimination of Coy West again!"

 

*******INSTANT REPLAY*******

 

We see a camera outside capturing Thugg's choke toss of Coy West over the top rope. Midway through his flight on the way out, the image freezes and Riley does a voiceover as Todd Royal enters the ring in the smaller frame to the right of the replay.

 

"Looks like ol' Coy is going to need to grow some wings. Or start flapping his arms."

 

*******INSTANT REPLAY*******

 

"HA!" yells Riley.

 

Todd Royal makes a beeline straight for Thugg, coming forward and nailing a superkick right out of the gate that at least stops HVT from beating on Duran.

 

"It's amazing, Robert, even those these guys are too cocky for their own good, this crowd is getting behind them against HVT!"

 

Liston and Craven join the attack on HVT, as Duran backs up for a bit, not wanting to get involved in this just yet. Instead, he goes over to Stryke, who has been staying out of this match as much as he can after getting a vicious powerbomb from HVT!

 

"Looks like the jig is up for Citizen Stryke!"

 

"It's about time, everyone saw Stryke laying there anyway!"

 

Duran brings Stryke out from under the ropes and begins stomping away at him, as Stryke decides that he'll get to his feet. Duran tries to bend down and lift Stryke up for a Gorilla Press, but Stryke slips out behind Duran, kicking him in the back of the knee and getting him down to a proper level so that Stryke can put Duran in position for a pumphandle slam, or...

 

"I think Citizen Stryke is going for the Low End Theory! He has definitely gotten his rest!"

 

Stryke is a brand new man as he lifts the Notorious One up to shoulder height and then quickly sits out, crushing John's head into the canvas with the Low End Theory! The crowd EXPLODES, cheering their heart out for Stryke as Duran lays motionless on the mat! Stryke goes over to where it is now a triple team on Thugg, and all three men are trying to eliminate HVT from the ring!

 

"Looks like there's a lot of anti-Thugg sentiment in that ring right now, Comet. As a superhero, don't you find that unjust?"

 

"Heck no, Thugg's a douche."

 

Riley is held speechless.

 

Stryke joins the party to chuck out HVT, and they make a little bit of progress, the crowd rooting for the lesser of two evils and hoping that Thugg is on his way out. Thugg reverses the momentum of everyone, however, freeing himself from the crutches of his four attackers and sending them all sprawling to the mat as the fans boo HVT with all their heart!

 

"How is Citizen Thugg STILL in this match?"

 

"Being 7-foot-2 and almost 400 pounds has its advantages, Comet."

 

All four men in the Throw Thugg Over The Top Commission™ get back to their feet and look to reorganize their efforts. Thugg looks to be getting away from the ropes...and Todd Royal puts a stop to that by reaching his leg up and slamming it right into the face of Thugg, staggering HVT back into the ropes!

 

"Robert, exactly how many times is that that we've seen at least a superkick attempt in this match?"

 

Riley does some quick calculations before giving his answer. "I think that's 4.2 altogether."

 

Thugg is back against the ropes and in trouble again, and the Cleveland fans are absolutely eating it up. It isn't over yet, though, as Stryke is the next one to step forward, bringing HIS boot up and slamming it right into the kisser of Thugg!

 

"5.2!" Riley and Comet scream in unison.

 

Thugg is actually lifted off the ground~, but he comes right back down to the mat, without going over the top rope! Finally, the four men return to trying to heave Thugg over, the fans almost beginning to pray that Thugg leaves the ring.

 

"Looks like some fans behind us have a lot of money riding on someone in that ring winning this match."

 

"Gambling's a sin, Robert."

 

"Are you a preacher or a superhero, Comet?"

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

The seconds tick away until the entrance of #17, as Stryke, Craven, Liston and Royal all try to dump Thugg over the top rope, as Duran reaches his feet.

 

"Why can't we get someone who believes in justice in this ring, Robert?"

 

"Because God hates you, Comet--I don't know, okay?"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

Duran's head seems to still be ringing from the Low End Theory, as he may be getting a small case of Craven-itis. Thugg is doing his best to keep himself from being dumped over the top rope.

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

Duran reaches his feet and turns to the entranceway, wanting to see who the next man is out.

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

[sTATUS: RELEASED]

 

Killswitch Engage's "When Darkness Falls" hits and the fans in the Gund Arena go APESHIT.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #17: TERRENCE BAILEY

 

"Citizen Bailey! The last member of the Trinity in the Clusterfunk!"

 

"Comet, just say fuck. We're on pay-per-view. They're letting girls in bra and panties tackle each other on another channel. Just say it already."

 

A smile crawls across Duran's face as the Notorious One invites the Anti-Heel Machine to bring it. Janus lumbers down to the ring, looking determined as fans reach out to the big man. There is no new news from the Committee to Unseat the Nasty Thugg™, even as the men start trading turns kneeing Thugg in the abs. Terrence throws off his trench coat and rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring! The Notorious One is right there waiting for him, however, and he begins to stomp away at Bailey! Bailey gets up to his feet easily, however, and puts an end to the stomping by nailing Duran with a right hand and taking him down!

 

"Knuckle Bomb! No!"

 

"Well, that ends the mini-feud between Citizen Bailey and Citizen Duran, eh? Citizen Duran will go down to a punch!"

 

After taking down a member of his rival group, Bailey heads straight for Thugg, breaking into the 4-man group trying to dump Thugg and attacking HVT himself! In the scuffle, Janus punches Jimmy Liston in the back of the head! The crowd cheers wildly, and Jimmy backs out of the fight, looking offended as he pushes Janus.

 

"Oh come on, Citizen Liston, Citizen Bailey was on your side, he wasn't trying to work against you!"

 

Liston will have none of it, however, as he kicks Terrence in the midsection and tries to grab Bailey's head and hit a falling neckbreaker...but Janus pushes Jimmy off into the ropes! Liston rebounds off the ropes as Bailey charges, lifting his boot and making his Anti-Heel Machine name ring true as he destroys Liston with a big boot and sends The Demon over the top rope!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-JIMMY LISTON-

ENTERED: 15th

ELIMINATED: 11th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Janus

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, HVT, Janus, Todd Royal

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The other 3 "bad men" turn to Janus and wonder what the deal is, as Thugg begins to fire elbows into the pack of Craven, Stryke and Royal! The cheers for Janus quickly turn to boos, but Janus makes his intentions clear as he charges Thugg and beats on him instead of trying to use his leverage.

 

"I don't think Citizen Bailey wants Citizen Thugg to leave this ring!"

 

"Quite the opposite, Comet, those Trinity guys stick together, and Janus is practically BEGGING for revenge by beating on Thugg here instead of using the obvious strength he has to dump him!"

 

Duran rolls over onto his stomach in pain and pounds the mat in frustration, and finally rolls completely out of the ring, under the bottom rope!

 

"Wait, is he eliminated?" Comet questions.

 

"No, got to be over the top rope, Comet."

 

The refs urge him to get back into the ring, but Duran will have none of it as he searches under the ring for something--a weapon, obviously. Finding none, he goes over to the crowd sitting and watching the action and goes into the front row, standing in the way of a 40-something bearded man drinking a beer. The man is thrown out of his seat by Duran and the crowd around him boos the Notorious One as John grabs the man's chair, going back over the guardrail as the refs yell at Duran to get back in the ring, which he finally does.

 

"Did you see that, Robert? Why, I oughta go into that ring and give Duran the what for."

 

"He'd give you a what for right up side the head before you even got a foot in the ring, Comet."

 

Duran slides back into the ring with the chair, staying a distance away from Terrence in the ring, still pounding away at Thugg and impeding the process of actually getting Thugg out of the match.

 

"HEY, TERRENCE!" Duran yells.

 

The Aussie turns to face John and steps out of the pack of Coalition Against Thugg™ members, and begins to step towards Duran. Duran comes forward first though, and swings for the fences, right at Bailey's head!

 

CRACK!

 

The crowd flips a lid as Terrence punches the chair, Duran just able to avoid it hitting him in its recoil. The Notorious One notices that Terrence is stunned, and so he tees of on the Anti-Heel Machine, taking a swing right at the side of his head.

 

CLANK

 

The sound of metal against flesh and bone is not pretty as Janus is staggered by the unprotected chair shot.

 

"Robert, he couldn't even get his hands up to lessen the blow! This is just wrong!"

 

Terrence does NOT go down, however, and so Duran winds up again and

 

THUNK

 

This chair shot is right on the top of the head, and is absolutely sick as Janus reaches one knee, but refuses to go down!

 

"TEN!"

 

"NINE!"

 

"Someone has to get into this ring to help Citizen Bailey, Robert!"

 

"That's what Bailey gets!"

 

"...What did Citizen Bailey do?"

 

"EXACTLY!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

Duran goes all out on the third swing, trying to crack Bailey's skull.

 

THUNK

 

"SIX!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

The chairshot hits HARD, and Bailey hits the mat finally as 95% of the crowd isn't even counting along with the countdown, finding themselves occupied with booing themselves hoarse.

 

"FOUR!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"ONE!"

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

[Guest Evolution]

Strings being plucked on an acoustic guitar ring throughout the arena, and the crowd is silent until they see Alan Clark coming down to the ring.

 

"Haven't we seen this man before, in the Genesis III Tournament?"

 

"I think we may have, Comet!"

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #18: ALAN CLARK

 

The crowd immediately recognizes Clark and cheers him as he runs in a full sprint down to the ring, kicking off his sandals into the crowd as he comes down the ramp! Alan slides into the ring as the acoustics fade and the Long Beach barefooted musician runs right to where Thugg is still refusing to be eliminated! Clark grabs the legs of Thugg and lifts...

 

...and Thugg's weight begins tipping him over the top rope!

 

"THERE HE GOES!" Comet proclaims.

 

"NO! What are you guys thinking! Why didn't you attack Janus or something! He's a big guy too!"

 

Thugg's feet hit the floor and he lands on his feet, and the crowd jumps to its feet and roars with approval as Thugg gets frustrated on the outside.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-HVT-

ENTERED: 13th

ELIMINATED: 12th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Aecas, Dace Night, Coy West

ELIMINATED BY: Alan Clark, Michael Craven, Stryke, and Todd Royal

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, Janus, Todd Royal, Alan Clark

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Some members of the crowd begin an "S - J - L" chant, and it catches on until Todd Royal points at the downed body of Janus! Craven, Stryke and Royal agree, and immediately begin stomping away at Janus, as the crowd groans and boos. Duran sees all of this and begins to LAUGH! However, Alan Clark comes over and kicks the chair out of Duran's hand as the crowd explodes with cheers and Clark begins laying in right hands on Duran!

 

"Finally, Citizen Clark has brought some justice to this match, once and for all!"

 

Three refs are needed to take Thugg to the back as Clark lays in knife-edge chops to Duran as the crowd cheers and tries to keep up with the action. Clark then pushes Duran into the corner and grabs onto his shoulders, falling back and flipping Duran up into the air, Duran crashing down hard after the monkey flip! Michael Craven and Todd Royal pick up Janus, both of them able to lift Janus high into the air as the crowd gasps in shock and then boos as Janus hits the ground after a double vertical suplex!

 

"Too much action to keep up with, Comet, we might have to split duties and call different parts of the match here!"

 

“FUCK!”

 

Riley screams. “What the hell?”

 

“I said it, Robert! I finally said ‘fuck’!”

 

“Are you trying to make me go deaf?”

 

Clark lines up perpendicularly with Duran once he gets to his feet, and then gets a quick running start before flipping backwards and landing on Duran! The fans go nuts for the running Shooting Star Press, as Clark gets to his feet and grabs Todd Royal, hitting him with a knife-edge chop, and then grabbing Stryke and doing the same to him!

 

"The fans are getting behind Citizen Clark here, Robert! And I don't blame them, he's giving them a reason to cheer!"

 

"They'll have their hearts broken when Clark gets dumped, though!"

 

Craven gets to Clark before Alan can get to the King of Nightmares, however, as Craven goes down and comes up with the

 

HIGH POWER FOREARM SMASH!

 

And it connects to boot! Clark hits the mat hard and shows no sign of motion as the crowd's wild cheers turn to disappointed and angry boos, Duran making his way to his feet as Craven and Duran pair off against Clark and Royal and Stryke go after Janus! Craven and Duran pick Clark up and Duran puts Clark in a standing headscissors, looking for what seems to be a spike piledriver...and Clark refuses to be lifted by it! He can't reverse it, so Craven just pulls Clark out from between Duran's legs! The Notorious One is losing his temper, however, and he grabs Clark around the throat and quickly lifts the small man up into the air, holding him there for a few moments before tossing him to the outside...

 

"NO! CITIZEN CLARK! NOOOO!"

 

...but Clark lands on the apron! The crowd cheers, but Duran bends down and comes forward, slamming his shoulder into the ribs of Clark and sending the guitar player off the apron and into the guardrail!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-ALAN CLARK-

ENTERED: 18th

ELIMINATED: 13th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: HVT

ELIMINATED BY: John Duran

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, Janus, Todd Royal

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

Clark lands on the outside and the crowd boos John Duran and Michael Craven, who are celebrating their victory. The boos turn to cheers, however, as they notice that Janus is fighting off a double powerbomb attempt from Todd Royal and Stryke! However, Craven and Duran hurry to aid Todd and Stryke, the four of them laying down a beating on the Anti-Heel Machine as the heels go to town on Terrence.

 

"Once again, Robert," Comet sighs, "we are left without justice in this match!"

 

"Please," Riley complains, "you think that that hippie Alan Clark was providing justice? The only thing he'll be providing is crappy music that will make me want to go to 'Nam!"

 

"...Robert, the Vietnam War ended about thirty years ago."

 

Riley glances over at his announcing partner and ponders. "So?"

 

“TEN!”

 

“NINE!”

 

Royal grabs the big legs of Janus, the other three men watching as Todd bends down the right leg, forming a “4” with the legs of Terrence. The crowd continues to boo as Todd falls back onto the mat, bringing his right leg up and clutching it onto the boot of Janus!

 

“Wrath of Todd! Royal has unleashed the Wrath of Todd on Terrence Bailey, and this is the first look at the move in the SWF!”

 

“EIGHT!”

 

“SEVEN!”

 

The other 3 men stand over Bailey and stomp him repeatedly, putting him in even more pain. Terrence brings himself up off the mat and tries to pry himself loose, but Royal just pulls tighter and Terrence looks to be stuck.

 

“This is just humiliating to Citizen Bailey, Robert. This is just an unfair beating on one of the bigger men in this match!”

 

“Don’t worry,” Riley says with a stroke of confidence in the 4 men in the ring against Bailey, “Bailey will be eliminated. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when for him.”

 

“SIX!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

Craven drops an elbow on Bailey as all 4 men assist in the moving of Janus towards the center of the ring, still in the Wrath of Todd as the crowd isn’t enjoying seeing Terrence suffer inside the finishing hold at all!

 

“FOUR!”

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Craven, Stryke, and Duran all look toward the entranceway.

 

“Johnny Dangerous!” the sexy female whisper confirms it for the fans, as they’re already cheering when “After The Flesh” by My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult hits over the speakers!

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #19: JOHNNY DANGEROUS

 

“It’s the Secret Agent! He’s got a good number, but it’s not as good as #20, Comet!”

 

“That’s right, there’s only one man left, and that is Citizen Matthews!”

 

Craven turns around to face Dangerous as one half of the tag champions comes down the ramp, slapping hands with a few fans here and there as Johnny leaps up onto the apron, and then jumps up to the top rope, positioning himself and catching Michael Craven off guard as the Barracuda springs off and nails Craven in the kisser, the King of Nightmares not expecting the springboard dropkick! The momentum from the dropkick sends Craven crashing into Duran, and the fans cheer as both men fall to the mat, along with Dangerous!

 

“Citizen Dangerous is off to a hot start here, he could really turn this match around!”

 

Stryke tries to come up from behind, but Johnny’s spy-like reflexes allow him to spin in a circle and lift up his hand to nail Stryke in the face with a spinning back fist, taking the man from Sydney down! Finally, Dangerous takes careful aim and drives an elbow right into the heart of Todd Royal, breaking the Wrath of Todd to a big pop!

 

“I don’t believe this! In a matter of moments, Citizen Dangerous has saved Citizen Bailey from certain destruction! I applaud Citizen Dangerous! He is the real hero, I am only a hero with a headset!”

 

“And a gold rocket car,” Riley adds quickly.

 

“Yes.”

 

The Notorious One has reached his feet after being bowled over by Craven, and so Duran reaches his feet. The Secret Agent goes after him, and Duran reverses Johnny’s momentum into a sleeperhold! However, it isn’t nearly as tightly held as John would desire for it to be, as the man with the same initials throws an elbow into the ribs of Duran and quickly breaks the sleeperhold, grabbing the head of Duran and sitting down with a neckbreaker!

 

“Duran was simply too tired to keep that sleeperhold on. He’s been in the ring for about 30 minutes, and Craven himself has been in for almost 40!”

 

“Craven must feel like he’s been in there for hours, however, as he’s been taking a hard, hard beating tonight. Both Duran and Craven are likely running on empty.”

 

Todd Royal reaches his feet after being elbowed right in the chest by Dangerous, and the Secret Agent isn’t fast enough to keep up with everybody! The numbers overcome Johnny as Todd leaps up and grabs Dangerous’ head, slamming the Barracuda down with a leaping bulldog as Stryke joins the fun, both men lifting Johnny to his feet.

 

“Four-on-two is still an unfair fight, Robert.”

 

“Four-on-two is also a pretty hot porno video, but you don’t hear me complaining.”

 

“Come on, Robert, focus on this match, will you?”

 

“Well, if it’s so unfair then, Comet, maybe someone should’ve thought of that before they went and got themselves eliminated!”

 

Craven is up on his feet and the King of Nightmares makes it a 3-on-1 attack on Johnny, as they look to take him out of this match early! The crowd boos the three men, as Duran remains on the mat, catching his breath after the neckbreaker. Craven, Stryke and Todd have Johnny hanging up in the air, his body still hovering over the ring, but very close to elimination! Bailey is slowly getting to his feet, exhibiting a small limp from the mere length that the Wrath of Todd was locked on!

 

“This is it for the Secret Agent! Sayanora, Johnny!”

 

“Citizen Bailey has to get there in time!”

 

Dangerous is trying to hold out a hand to keep himself from being taken down to the floor...when all of a sudden, Terrence gets a good run-up, lifts his boot up...and nails Todd Royal right in the face with it as Royal is too close to the ropes and goes tumbling over, hitting the apron and going to the floor!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-TODD ROYAL-

ENTERED: 16th

ELIMINATED: 14th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: HVT

ELIMINATED BY: Janus

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, Janus, Johnny Dangerous

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“It’s a shame that Citizen Royal was eliminated, as he had a good showing in this match!”

 

Bailey turns to Craven and Stryke, nailing them both with right hands as Johnny lands on his feet...in the ring!

 

“No, no this is all so terrible!” Riley cries.

 

“Now the numbers are a little bit more even!”

 

Craven and Stryke both try to attack Janus, but the Anti-Heel Machine backs up and allows for a meeting of the heads, which takes the King of Nightmares and Stryke down to the mat to a big pop!

 

“Damnit, damnit, damnit,” Riley curses, “when is Grappler going to make his way out?”

 

“More importantly, how many concussions will Craven have after taking yet another bump on the head!”

 

“TEN!”

 

“NINE!”

 

It appears that Grappler is on the way right now! While the ten count begins to the next contestant in the Clusterfuck, a somewhat frustrated Royal is led to the back by Anthony Michael Hall and Nick Soapdish. Duran begins to reach his feet, as Bailey still has his back turned to John. The Notorious One tries to bring a knee into Terrence’s back, but Dangerous sees all of this and intercepts Duran from running into Bailey!

 

“EIGHT!”

 

“SEVEN!”

 

The crowd cheers after that avoided near hit, as, out of nowhere, Dangerous looks to put away Duran for good, tucking his head under Duran’s arm and lifting him up onto Johnny’s shoulders before quickly falling back down to the mat!

 

“Citizen Dangerous with the M.I. Slam!”

 

“MOVE FASTER, CLOCK!”

 

“SIX!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

“FOUR!”

 

Duran is motionless on the mat, as there is no one left to contend with. Dangerous and Terrence face each other in the ring and shake hands in a show of respect!

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

And as Janus turns around out of the handshake, Dangerous comes up behind and taps Bailey on the shoulder.

 

CRACK

 

“JOHNNY KICK! GO JOHNNY!” Riley encourages the tactics of Dangerous, even though the fans boo Dangerous heavily.

 

“Citizen Dangerous at least knows what’s at stake here, Robert.”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

The crowd knows who’s coming out, but they don’t actually boo until the lights go out and “Some Kind of Monster” by Metallica blares out over the speakers! The boos come fast and heavy for Matthews as he makes his entrance, immediately tromping his way down to the ring as he makes his entrance, sans Matheson as he is banned fro ringside for this match.

 

CLUSTERFUCK ENTRY #20: CHARLIE MATTHEWS

 

“That’s it, Comet, everyone has finally entered the Clusterfuck!”

 

“Now, with 3 more eliminations, it will be time to move onto the triple threat!”

 

The Grappler seems set on making those eliminations happen right now, especially since he is well-rested compared to Craven, Duran, and Stryke at #20. Matthews steps up onto the apron and enters the ring, approaching Terrence, who was staggered from the Johnny Kick, going behind Bailey and...

 

...locking on a Full Nelson?

 

“Oh, no,” Comet and Riley groan in unison.

 

Yes, Matthews storms out of the gate and locks on an absolutely devastating Full Nelson that is sure to take Bailey over the top rope. Stryke reaches his feet after getting a noggin knocker from Terrence, and Stryke just goes for the closest person, which happens to be Johnny! Stryke buries a boot into the abdomen of Dangerous, doubling him over as Stryke runs into the near ropes and rebounds off of them, staying in line with the cranium of the Barracuda, and then snatching onto it, spinning around quickly and...

 

WHAM

 

“OHHHHHHHH!”

 

...connecting with a viciously quick neckbreaker!

 

“Stryke is back in this match, Comet!”

 

“I suppose one can never count out someone with their career on the line!”

 

As Stryke hits the quick running neckbreaker, Duran rolls over on his side, and sees the chair that he retrieved earlier in the match, dented and yet still remaining in the spot where it was knocked out of his hands by Alan Clark! Amazingly exhausted, Duran begins to crawl towards the corner where the chair is waiting for the taking. Meanwhile, Terrence shows no signs of having the Full Nelson effecting him, and finally gets enough strength to break one of his arms free and to spin his way out of the Full Nelson, coming right back around with a lariat that takes the Grappler down, as the crowd is filled with delight seeing such actions taking place!

 

“Maybe that will teach Citizen Matthews to not use submission holds in what is supposed to be an exciting match!”

 

“You try and talk that sense into him when he’s got you in the bear hug, Comet.”

 

Duran is nearing closer and closer to the chair in the corner as Stryke brings Dangerous to his feet! As he does, the Secret Agent fires off a chop right into the chest of Stryke, catching him off guard and surprising him long enough for Dangerous to bring a boot up into Stryke’s gut! Stryke grabs the boot, however, and gives Dangerous a wicked smile, but Johnny has the last laugh as the Barracuda fishes his way out of another sticky situation as he comes around with his other leg, cracking Stryke with an enziguiri, as the crowd is almost bursting with joy!

 

“Citizen Dangerous can put an end to Citizen Stryke’s career right here!”

 

“No, don’t do it, Johnny! Think about what you’re doing!”

 

While Dangerous rests on the ground for a moment, trying to think up a game plan as Stryke is weakened, Grappler gets back to his feet with only a minimal amount of help from the Anti-Heel Machine! However, Terrence is the man in control, and grabs Grappler’s arm, whipping him into the near turnbuckle, opposite of where Duran is still crawling to reach that chair, as some fans are realizing this note and are trying to make it a point. Terrence backs up a couple of steps and then charges the corner where Grappler is sitting, rolling on the ground and getting some “AHHHH”s from the crowd as Bailey goes for the rolling lariat! Grappler is not in the corner by the time that Janus reaches it, however, and by the time that Janus sees that such a thing has happened, a forearm is wrapped around his throat! Matthews falls back and locks on the rear naked choke, adding the body scissors as another submission is applied!

 

“Another submission from Citizen Matthews,” Comet notes.

 

Riley nods. “Pinch me if I fall asleep.”

 

As Grappler locks on the rear naked choke, Dangerous is getting to his feet, along with Stryke. Stryke is the first to strike, grasping the arm of Johnny Dangerous and sending him into the ropes! ...But Dangerous uses his momentum to reverse Stryke into the ropes! Dangerous bends down in the center of the ring as Stryke rebounds off the ropes, but is able to come to a stop...and absolutely punts Dangerous in the face!

 

“OHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Dangerous is staggered back towards the ropes and looks about ready to fall flat on his face, but Stryke charges forward, clotheslining Dangerous over the top rope...

 

...but Dangerous brings Stryke with him!

 

Dangerous’ feet hit the floor, there is no doubt about that...but Stryke’s hand firmly grasps the top rope!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-JOHNNY DANGEROUS-

ENTERED: 19th

ELIMINATED: 15th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Stryke

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Stryke, Janus, Charlie Matthews

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

ONE foot of Stryke touches the floor, but the other one never falls as Stryke is able to pull himself up off the apron just as Dangerous gets to his feet and tries to claw Stryke back outside the ring!

 

“I think Citizen Stryke’s life flashed before his eyes there, Robert! That was definitely a close call!”

 

Comet makes a good point, but Bobby isn’t very interested in what his commentating partner has to say. “You’d think Craven would be getting his ass up by now, Comet!” Riley screams at his pick to win from the announce table.

 

“He’s just been in there far too long, Robert. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t get up tonight!”

 

“...Comet, did you just make a sexual crack?”

 

“What? No! There’s word in the locker room that Citizen Craven has a serious urinary infection. I’m afraid he’ll be wetting his pants when he should be getting to the bathroom late in the night.”

 

“Oh, so it’s like age twelve all over again.”

 

The field is narrowed to five people as Stryke tries to get over the shock of almost having his career ended. Duran, who had suddenly come to a stop in his crawling towards the chair, for whatever reason, begins again, and now he has a burst of energy, reaching the chair in a matter of seconds--which would explain it, he was resting up further--as he grabs the leg of the chair! The crowd boos loudly as Duran tries to use it as a crutch to get his weary body up. However, Craven suddenly rises to his feet, using the ropes. Seeing that the foreign object is about to come into play, Craven runs over and tries to put a stop to it, stomping on Duran!

 

“Duran’s got the chair, Comet! And Craven is trying to take it from him!”

 

Craven brings Duran off the mat, but Duran still has the chair in his clutch and he quickly grabs it with both hands, jabbing it into the gut of Craven! As the fans chant “BO-RING, BO-RING” as the rear naked choke is still being applied to the Anti-Heel Machine, Craven is doubled over, and Duran drops the chair with only a smidgeon of accuracy, before putting the King of Nightmares in a standing headscissors!

 

“This cannot be good for Citizen Craven, Robert...”

 

Duran wraps his arms around Craven’s waist and then lifts Craven up into the air, leaving him perpendicular to the mat...and the CHAIR. Some of the fans rise to their feet as Duran leaves Craven hanging and then drops.

 

SMACK

 

Craven’s head hits the steel chair with a good amount of force, as he bounces of it and moves to the side of Duran!

 

“Another shot to the head, Comet! I don’t know if Craven will be able to remember this match tomorrow, much less win it!”

 

Craven, once again, ceases to move as Duran rises to his feet, appreciating the boos from the crowd. Meanwhile, the Grappler has finally released the rear naked choke, actually getting a cheer as he frees us from the boredom.

 

“Do you think Citizen Duran will hit Citizen Matthews with that chair? He did say that he would do whatever it takes to win this match, Robert!”

 

As Matthews gets up out of the submission hold, Terrence remains on the ground, as Duran approaches Charlie from the behind. The fans rises to their feet, sensing a confrontation...and as Matthews turns around, Duran is there with the chair in hand and smiling. Grappler is a little suspicious, but Duran points to the chair and then points to Bailey, who is just about to get up, and then back to the chair.

 

“A little bit of teamwork here from the Unnamed? And between Duran and Grappler? I’d have never thought it possible!”

 

Grappler brings the Anti-Heel Machine to his feet, and the Notorious One works out some of the dents in the chair so it’s nice and flat when it hits the head of Bailey! Charlie grabs the arms of Terrence and pin them behind his back as the crowd boos, almost wanting Craven to rise to his feet and save the day! However, Stryke is the only one on the ground who is currently trying to get to his feet. Duran gets ready to swing, and nods to Grappler as he cocks back the chair...

 

...and swings at Stryke!

 

CRACK

 

Stryke goes down HARD, and the crowd gasps in shock as Duran just lets out a laugh.

 

“I think Citizen Duran saw Citizen Stryke out of the corner of his eye and didn’t want him to ruin anything!”

 

Matthews shoves Bailey down to the ground and stomps him as Duran and Matthews pick up Stryke off the ground, who is looking dead to the world. Duran points to a side of the ring, apparently signifying that that’s where Stryke is leaving his career!

 

“No, it can’t happen this way, Robert!”

 

“I love it, I can’t help it!”

 

Duran puts Stryke in a front facelock, and then grabs his tights, lifting the man from Sydney high into the air and holding him there, manhandling him all the way over to the side of the ring where elimination was promised, and the crowd boos and pleads that Stryke doesn’t get eliminated here...

 

..and he doesn’t. Duran drapes Stryke hard across the top rope, holding Stryke steady. Duran gives the signal to Grappler, who drops to one knee and nails Stryke in the throat with an uppercut, sending Stryke off the top rope...

 

...and his feet leave the apron. They touch the floor as Stryke crashes into the guardrail somewhat gently, but the feet are down, and the referees immediately come to take Stryke away.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-STRYKE-

ENTERED: 11th

ELIMINATED: 16th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: HVT, Johnny Dangerous

ELIMINATED BY: Charlie Matthews

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Janus, Charlie Matthews

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“’Tis the end for Citizen Stryke, Robert.”

 

Members of the crowd surrounding Stryke by the guardrail he just hit pat his shoulders as Eddy Long and Mark Hebner take him off the guardrail and start leading him to the back, applause following him as he goes.

 

“What a run for Stryke, almost 20 minutes with his career on the line, and in the end it was just too much for him.”

 

Duran and Matthews pay no attention to Stryke being led away by Long and Hebner, pointing back to Janus and setting up what had been rudely interrupted by Stryke only moments before, with the Grappler once again tying the arms behind the back of Terrence.

 

“STRYKE!”

“STRYKE!”

 

The chant starts small, with a little bit of clapping, but it catches on and everyone in the Gund Arena stands up to their feet as Stryke reaches the halfway point of the ramp, the crowd not caring how Stryke treated him, always sad to see someone go.

 

“STRYKE!”

“STRYKE!”

“STRYKE!”

“STRYKE!”

 

The chants continue as Long and Hebner finally send Stryke past the curtains, where they finally die down and the crowd sits down, watching as the Unnamed continue with Terrence in the ring. Terrence is once again prone to the chairshot, and Duran doesn’t even bother trying to pop out the dents on the chair before taking aim at the skull of the Anti-Heel Machine. The Notorious One winds up again, coming towards Terrence and...

 

SMACK

 

...Terrence gets a boot up and kicks it right back into Duran’s face! The crowd is stunned into cheers as Matthews is equally stunned by what just happened, Duran hitting the mat as the crowd builds up into a frenzy, and Bailey pushes with all his weight backwards, slamming Charlie back first into the turnbuckle and loosening the holds on his arms so that he can escape!

 

“I can’t believe Citizen Bailey managed to get out of that!”

 

“Neither can I! What the hell is going on?”

 

With Duran down and Matthews in the corner, Terrence kicks the chair out of the ring before doing anything! Nick Soapdish takes the chair, putting it out of play!

 

“Finally, some justice has been returned to this match!”

 

“How many times have you said that, Comet? How many times have you been WRONG?” turns and starts raining down Knuckle Bombs on Matthews in the corner! Each punch hits with amazing force, and the crowd is going wild for each and every one of them!

 

Three knuckle bombs!

 

FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE!

 

Duran is barely on his hands and knees as Terrence continues to hammer away at Matthews, and finally, after ten Knuckle Bombs, Charlie is spared!

 

“The crowd is just eating this up, Comet!”

 

“Citizen Bailey is on fire!”

 

Terrence remains in the corner for a moment, but it’s a moment too long as Duran desperately lunges forward and catches Bailey with a HOLY BEJESUS NO MORE REPRODUCTION FOR YOU BIG MAN BALLSHOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

The crowd groans in disappointment as Terrence falls backwards from the pain of the fierce uppercut, and Duran finally reaches his feet, feeling a little woozy after getting the chair kicked in his face. Surveying the scene around him, he decides to go...for Matthews?

 

The fans in Cleveland are stunned into silence as Duran grabs the legs of Matthews, hefting the Grappler up onto the turnbuckle as Matthews tries to kick him off, surprised when he sees that Duran is the one who’s doing it! The crowd doesn’t know how to respond as Duran sends Grappler off the turnbuckle, after those many Knuckle Bombs, Grappler hits the floor!

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-CHARLIE MATTHEWS-

ENTERED: 20th

ELIMINATED: 17th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Stryke

ELIMINATED BY: John Duran

LEFT IN RING: Michael Craven, John Duran, Janus

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

The crowd just decides to cheer for the elimination of the boring wrestler, as Charlie lands on his feet on the outside of the ring and looks up at Duran, with a confused look, as if to ask “What the fuck was that?” Duran’s response is simple.

 

“Every man for himself,” is what his lips appear to read.

 

“Did he just eliminate a member of his own stable?” Riley questions. “Isn’t that against the rules in a match like this?”

 

“Citizen Duran is always re-writing the rules, and he’ll probably do it again before it’s all said and done!”

 

Nick Soapdish slides into the ring and acts as the referee as the match suddenly turns to triple threat rules, as John Duran is the only man on his two feet. Terrence is GETTING to his feet, however, and Charlie still can’t believe what Duran did as all the remaining refs take Charlie to the back.

 

“Well, Comet, Terrence is the freshest man in this, Duran is tired, and my boy Craven is almost dead...but he’s still in it! Who do you choose?”

 

“Citizen Bailey, even though I’m not a betting man.”

 

“And wouldn’t it be a feather in the cap of Craven if he could pick up this victory tonight and really stick it to the commissioner?”

 

“Well, Robert, he’s going to have to get up off the mat first.”

 

Duran goes over to Terrence, clubbing him in the back with hard blows and trying to keep the Aussie Trinity member on the ground. However, Bailey fights through it and eventually reaches his feet. The Notorious One tries a right hand, but Janus blocks it and comes back with a KNUCKLE BOMB that sends Duran right down to the mat! Terrence quickly goes for the cover as Soapdish falls to the mat and counts, the crowd counting along.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO!

 

Even with the exhausted Duran, a Knuckle Bomb isn’t enough to put John down. Craven shows signs of life in the corner where he was rudely piledriven onto a chair, and some fans in the crowd cheer just knowing that Craven isn’t dead. Meanwhile, Terrence brings Duran to a vertical base, before grasping on to Duran’s head and coming forward with a wicked headbutt! The crowd continues to cheer Janus on as he rears back for another one and connects with it, sending Duran down to one knee from the SHEER force of it. Craven is almost to his feet as Janus kicks the Notorious One in the gut, doubling him over right into a standing headscissors by Bailey!

 

“This could be pretty nasty right here, Comet.”

 

“Agreed, Citizen Bailey and Citizen Duran are two big boys and we’re going to get a big kaboom here.”

 

Craven has reached his feet as Terrence lifts Duran off the ground, putting John on his shoulders and holding him there for a moment before sitting out and bringing Duran with him.

 

BOOM

 

Both Terrence and John slam hard onto the mat, and Duran obviously gets the worst of it from the sitout powerbomb! However, Terrence holds it for a pin, draping a leg over the shoulders of Duran! Soapdish is right there and begins the count as the rabid fans count along as always!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-NO! CRAVEN MAKES THE SAVE AT THE LAST SECOND!

 

“Citizen Craven is back!”

 

The King of Nightmares barely gets a double ax-handle onto Terrence to break the pin at two and three-fourths.

 

“I thought this match was over, I would’ve lost so much money,” Riley cries.

 

Craven tries to not waste time, picking Terrence up off the mat after breaking the pinfall on Duran. Craven grabs Terrence’s arm and sends him into the ropes! As Bailey comes back, Craven drops down to the mat and extends his legs, catching Bailey in a drop toe hold, the crowd booing the King of Nightmares as he rises to his feet, going to the head of Terrence and leaping up into the air, dropping a leg across the back of Terrence’s head!

 

“Craven is actually getting some offense in on Terrence! I’m shocked!”

 

“Citizen Craven is shocking enough as a person walking around and alive.”

 

Craven turns Terrence over onto his back and points to a turnbuckle, the crowd booing as Craven leaves to the apron and climbs to the top, no longer having to worry about going over the top rope, just winging it. And he does, leaping off the top turnbuckle and letting gravity take over as he angles down...down...down...

 

BOOM

 

And he misses Terrence! Bailey rolls out of the way just before the diving headbutt has a chance to connect!

 

“After such a beauty of a move, it’s a shame that Citizen Craven had to miss it!”

 

“He was going to need more than that little offensive burst to keep Bailey down for something like a flying headbutt!”

 

However, Craven would have to learn from his mistakes, as Terrence gets to his feet, and then turns to the crowd, which automatically cheers for him. The Cleveland crowd is behind Terrence 100% as he points to Duran, and the crowd cheers, wanting to see the Anti-Heel Machine kick Duran’s ass. So Terrence goes over to Duran, bringing John up to his feet, and The Notorious One looks beat as Terrence gives a wicked smile to Duran and then slams a hand around John’s throat! The crowd goes nuts, as they all stand up, waiting for the chokeslam...

 

..but Duran uses his fingers and rakes across the eyes of Terrence! Bailey is temporarily blinded, and the chokehold is released as Duran gives himself a chance to breathe before he goes behind Janus and tries to lift him up into the Blunt Force Trauma!

 

“Citizen Duran is trying to go for it! He’s trying to go for the Blunt Force Trauma!”

 

“...He can’t lift him up!”

 

Duran is far too exhausted, having been in for now 35 minutes. In frustration, he turns around back to the front, grabbing Terrence with a chokehold of his own as he grabs Janus’ tights and lifts him up in the air quickly, still temporarily blinded, and then swiftly slams Janus down to the mat as Duran is barely even able to do that!

 

“The muscles are growing weak, Robert.”

 

Duran tries to remain strong, as he points to Terrence and yells to the crowd.

 

“FUCK THIS; I’M THROUGH WITH THIS BITCH!”

 

With that scream, Duran goes to the nearest turnbuckles to Janus’ downed body, and the crowd is confused for a moment, thinking that Duran is going to walk out of the ring altogether, but then is shocked as Duran BEGINS TO CLIMB THE TURNBUCKLES!

 

“Duran is going to the top turnbuckle! What is he thinking? Does he even have enough stamina to lift himself off the turnbuckle?”

 

“Citizen Duran has to take this chance; he’s not going to be able to put away Janus with the Blunt Force Trauma this time around!”

 

Duran finally reaches the top turnbuckle and perches cautiously on it, obviously having not been on the top rope in a good amount of time. However, Duran allows himself to stand up, steadying his muscular frame on the top rope and trying to judge the distance he’ll have to fly. From the view from the sky, he notices that Craven is starting to move after going for that all-or-nothing headbutt and coming up short, so Duran tries to make it quick. Once again, a man flies off the top rope, and this time it is Duran, letting his legs stretch out from under him as he comes crashing down fast to Earth after leaping off the turnbuckle and into the air. The flight looks almost perfect, and he comes down...

 

BOOM

 

With the intended leg slamming right down onto the throat and chest of Terrence! The crowd is a mix of “OOOOOH”s and boos after the flying legdrop, but Duran is in obvious pain after that move!

 

“A flying legdrop from Citizen Duran! I never thought I’d see that!”

 

“That has never been done before on SWF TV, this is a first time for all of us, Comet!”

 

Duran is in obvious pain as he holds his lower back from crunching it on the way down on the flying legdrop, and never has the sense to go for the cover. Terrence’s shoulders are eventually pinned to the mat, but they are pinned to the mat by Craven! The crowd is in shock as Craven seems to be stealing the win right out from under Duran’s nose.

 

“THE LEG IS HOOKED! COUNT SOAPDISH, COUNT!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHACK

 

THRE---NOOOOO! Duran absolutely smashes the ribs of Craven with a raging fist, and Craven sits up from the pain in his chest, breaking the pin at two and five-sixths!

 

“How much closer is this going to be?” Riley wonders out loud.

 

“The winner will be the person who can isolate someone and finish that person off while making sure that the other person is not a factor in this match anymore,” Comet strategizes, and Riley agrees.

 

The crowd is emotionally exhausted after a rollercoaster of a ride, but it isn’t done yet as Duran slowly gets to his feet, followed closely by Craven. Duran calls for the end...but Craven kicks him in the breadbasket! Michael bends down and puts Duran in a Fireman’s carry position, and it looks like...

 

“THE GULF COAST CRUNCH! Craven’s going to hit it!”

 

Craven positions Duran accordingly and then begins to swing his body to provide the torque to get Duran moving, but once Duran gets moving, he slips out of the grasp of Craven! Terrence is struggling to get to his feet, but the crowd is urging him to do so, as Duran gets Craven in the same position, only inverted!

 

“NO, ROBERT! It’s the Blunt Force Trauma!”

 

Exhausted of almost everything in their bodies, Craven and Duran are two tired souls, but Duran keeps a hold of Craven on his shoulders, as Duran takes a deep breath and then gives one last push, sending the legs of Craven swinging behind Duran as The Notorious One drops to the mat! The head is clearly the focus here, and it’s easy to see what happens as Duran falls to the mat.

 

 

Down...

 

 

Down...

 

 

WHAM!

 

“BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA!” Comet screams, his voice cracking on the last word as he begins to lose his voice.

 

The whiplash is almost sickening as the King of Nightmares is a victim of Blunt Force Trauma at the hands of John Duran!

 

“No! Not this way! I can’t lose all of this money!”

 

“I’m afraid that Citizen Craven is done, there’s nothing left in that head that hasn’t already been slammed out. And that Blunt Force Trauma--Citizen Duran actually sat down in the move! The pain in Citizen Craven’s neck must be unbearable!”

 

Terrence is showing signs of life, a hand trying to drape over the bottom rope to pull himself up, but Craven might as well be dead, along with Duran. All three men have been put through hell to get here, and now Duran falls back on Craven, draping an arm over his shoulders and leaning forward enough to try and put some weight on Craven’s shoulders as Soapdish falls to the mat!

 

“No! Fuck this! How can John Duran win this? This is Craven’s night!”

 

“Citizen Craven can’t kick out of this, there’s just no way, and you know I don’t like to be negative!”

 

“NOOOOO!” the crowd is yelling in sporadic intervals. Everyone is behind Terrence in this one, and they’re hoping for a miracle, that Terrence can just get that one last burst of energy and break up the pinfall, or that maybe Craven can somehow kick out.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“It’s over! Citizen Duran has won the Clusterfuck!”

 

“Synthetic” by Spineshank blares over the speakers, and the fans are PISSED! Terrence knows what just happened and doesn’t look very happy at all about it, having been left out of the decision. His fist pounds the apron as Duran rolls off Craven and Soapdish runs around to Duran’s side, raising his right arm.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon tries to say, but the crowd is way too upset with the result of this match, “the winner of the Clusterfuck, and NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP...THE NOTORIOUS JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-JANUS-

ENTERED: 17th

ELIMINATED: 18th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: Todd Royal, Jimmy Liston

ELIMINATED BY: N/A

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“Janus was a big force in this match, and that gave him a big target on his back, Comet.”

 

“Yes, he was double teamed, tripled teamed, quadrupled team, it’s no wonder that when it came right down to it, Citizen Bailey couldn’t gather to strength to break that final pinfall.

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

-MICHAEL CRAVEN-

ENTERED: 1st

ELIMINATED: 19th

WRESTLERS ELIMINATED: HVT, Jacob Helmsley, Insane Luchador

ELIMINATED BY: John Duran

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

 

“And Craven, well...Craven had an opportunity to take this match all the way, to go down in the history books, but if we would’ve made it, it would’ve been an incredibly bumpy road. I’m sure we’ll be getting some medical attention for Michael Craven as soon as possible, as there is likely some concern about his head and neck, after taking so much of a beating during this match.”

 

“Kudos to Citizen Craven for putting on a show here for everybody, I was amazed at how he hung on.”

 

Soapdish checks on everyone in the ring as the crowd is still shocked at Duran’s victory.

 

“Well, folks, even after this match...we still have one more to go! Its Danny Williams and Va’aiga, they’re squaring off for the SWF World Heavyweight Championship! First, let’s take a look back at how we got to this point.”

 

Cue video package as the image of the three remaining men in the Clusterfuck fades to black.