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King Cucaracha

The HOLT Report on SWF Lockdown...

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The HOLT Report on SWF Lockdown

March 27th, 2004

Live from the Wichova Center in Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Report by Bradley Spires of Allentown PA, Smartmarks.com reader

 

 

Dark Matches:

 

- Jimmy 'The Demon' Liston beat "Big" John Quinn (who was a 'lumberjack'...okaaay) in 5:37 with the Descent.

 

- 'Judge Mental' William Hearford defeated Craig Scheet in 9:27 after the Surprise Witness.

 

- Next up, Jamie Drazon walked out and started talking about how he is a hardcore maniac, and how he should be on the the most hardcore SWF show in recent memory...you know, basic whiney promo. He doesn't have a match of course, so instead Drazon issued an open challenge to anyone in the locker room...and said that no matter who it is, he'd enjoy hurting them. So imagine how FRIGGIN NUTS~! the crowd went after In Flame’s “Jester’s Dance” hit, and out came DANNY WILLIAMS~! With chants of "DAN - E!" erupting through the arena, Danny DESTROYED Drazen in just 4:02, making him submit to the Buffalo Sleeperhold.

 

- They played a video for Battleground, which heavily featured John Duran and Charlie Matthews. Hmm...

 

- The Memphis Eel beat 'El Hombre Sin Cara Maskarade' after 7:28, with a piledriver. Major heel heat for the Eel...

 

- A promo informing us Jacob Helmsley would soon return played. Let the pipe beatings begin...well...again.

 

- Sacred beat Michael Craven and Xstasy in a three way dance. Xstasy was pinned first in 8:22, before Craven went at 12:04.

 

 

Lockdown:

 

- The crowd weren't sure how to react to Mike Van Siclen pretending he's not a jobber? Hmm, whatever.

 

- The Eel got some more solid heel heat tonight. As much as he sucks, you've got to respect a man who dresses like Elvis and carries around a fly-swatter, while still maintaining some sort of dignity. Funny start to IL/Toxxic, because one of the cars they smashed into was owned by a guy in front of me. Needless to say he was pissed.

 

- Wild and Dangerous got a nice reception after their match was over...I think some people thought it may have been Wildchild's swansong. Especially considering what happened when Justice and Rule lost the belts. They left together, but didn't look too happy about what happened...

 

- Is Flesher a heel or a face. I sure don't know, and I doubt many of the other fans knew either.

 

- While they were setting up the cage, another one of those Jacob Helmsley promos was played. They seem to be making a big deal over his return...

 

- What was up with the shock wins tonight? Janus and Aecas taking the Tag Titles? Stryke as USJL Champion? Todd making Duran tap out? Clark...sorry, Bloodshed...beating Dace. By the time Grappler came out, we were all worried that Maddix kid would actually become the World Champion! Thankfully he didn't. Could you IMAGINE him as champion? Sheesh!

 

- Of note...Landon did a stretcher job after his match, with the rest of The Unnamed coming out to help guide him out of the arena. Duran was cursing Grappler's name over and over, while Megan seemed in hysterics. Dumb blonde.

 

 

Biggest Pops:

1. Charlie Matthews

2. Danny Williams

3. Coy West

4. Bloodshed Clark

5. The Unholy Trinity

 

Biggest Heat:

1. John Duran/Todd Royal (joint)

2. The Memphis Eel

3. Landon Maddix

4. Stryke

5. Toxxic

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The fucking Eel got more heat than me? I'm a very pissed-off rookie...

 

On the other hand, I was the one who wrote him to Stunner us both.

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heezy. promos of me = ratingz~!

 

and Toxxic... Eel = Elk. so by default he > j00.

 

It's in his contract that he has to get bigger pops than a rook does. Nothing we can do about it.

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"Next up, Jamie Drazon walked out and started talking about how he is a hardcore maniac, and how he should be on the the most hardcore SWF show in recent memory...you know, basic whiney promo. He doesn't have a match of course, so instead Drazon issued an open challenge to anyone in the locker room...and said that no matter who it is, he'd enjoy hurting them. So imagine how FRIGGIN NUTS~! the crowd went after In Flame’s “Jester’s Dance” hit, and out came DANNY WILLIAMS~! With chants of "DAN - E!" erupting through the arena, Danny DESTROYED Drazen in just 4:02, making him submit to the Buffalo Sleeperhold."

 

Cool, it doesn't sound like the 30 minute classic brawl we had last year, but it's always nice to squash someone. The Buffalo Sleeper could always use more heat, good choice for a finish.

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I think he's tagging with Coat Rack Steven Richards in Hot Shit Wrestling.

 

And watch as nobody gets the reference (Well, there are a select few that should understand)

Supreme likes pudding.

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