Memorable BAD quotes.

[Guest]

No Mercy 2001 After the Stacey/Torrie Lengeree Match

Heyman: Think now they'll kiss and make up...please?

JR: In your dreams.

Heyman: Actually JR, that's a very accurate statement.

JR: I can only imagine.

 

An episode of Smackdown, 2001

Taz: Hey Austin, what's my watch saying?

Austin: I don't speak Spanish.

 

Before an Evening Gown Match, don't know when

JR: This will not be a Dory Funk/Jack Brisco classic.

Heyman:  I don't know.  I heard his brother Jerry Brisco liked dressing up in women's clothing.

 

Nitro, 1998

Ultimate Warrior:  Same Warrior time!

                       Same Warrior place!

                       Same Warior cccccchhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnneeeeeeeelllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Every episode of Smackdown

Cole:  What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver! What a maneuver!

(Just copy and paste that about 400 times and you'll get the idea.)

 

House Show in 1998

HHH(Doing his DX intro): Now, for the thousands in attendance...and the millions watching around the world...(Pause)...and I just remembered this isn't televised (breaking into laughter).

[Guest]

Hunter's always been good about making jokes out of botched sentences during promos.

 

"Who said dumb idiot and I'll eat your lunch?"

 

Tank Abbott called a member of the crowd a dumb idiot during the single worst promo I ever saw on Thunder (which is saying something). The "I'll eat your lunch" quote belongs to the Barbarian. Somone mentioned it earlier in the thread.

 

Another memorable Rock quote I remember that might ruffle some feathers.

 

"Kane... since you like to find things... and Benoit... since you like to prove things... why don't you go to the back, turn off the lights, and play tinky winky, so Kane can find the penis you claim to have!" Or something along those lines. It was both funny and annoying at the same time.

[Guest Smitty]

Wrestlemania IV

 

Mean Gene: "Alright, over the last couple of months it has been very difficult for me

to introduce this man without using World Wrestling Federation Champion. HULK HOGAN, here at Wrestlemania IV this afternoon, you've got the opportunity to change that."

 

Hulk Hogan: "OH YEAH, it's been hard to live with, man! Fe fi fo fum, Andre! One long year, and your time has come, man! No marks, no scars, no blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside, man, I've been scarred for one long year. Everywhere I go, man, all the little Hulksters ask me, 'Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really get him over your head? Did you really beat the Giant?'

 

"Well today, man, at Wrestlemania IV, we're gonna wipe all that controversy out. Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you're fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I'm gonna prove, brother, that I can beat ya anywhere, anytime. And all my Hulkamaniacs, they're gonna feel it, too."

 

Mean Gene: "Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen them here in Atlantic City, and I know millions others are watching very intently around the world."

 

Hulk Hogan: "Yeah! But if you look in their eyes, man, have you seen the FEAR in all those little Hulksters? They realize that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slam him through the Trump Plaza, brother, from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant falls into the ocean, as my next two opponents fall to the ocean floor and I pin them, so will Donald Trump, and all the little Hulkamaniacs!

 

"But as Donald Trump hangs onto the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family under his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea...THANK GOD Donald Trump is a Hulkamaniac! He'll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dogpaddle his way all the way to safety! But, Donald...if somethin' happens, you run outta gas, and all those Hulkamaniacs run outta gas, just hang on to the largest back in the world, and I'll dogpaddle us, backstroke, all the way back to safety!"

 

 

 

Jack Tunney, RR92

"The winner of the...of...of this event....."

 

Ahmed Johnson, International Incident to Dok Hendrix

"Yo Mike, oh, I mean to say Dok"

 

 

Bulldog, RR 97, it's been covered

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Triple H during RAW late '99 or early 2000

 

"Vince you've been saying if I do this, it's my ass. You've been saying if I do that it's my ass. No Vince. No Vince. This is my ass!" Triple H mooned the camera.

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

Anyone have the Warrior/Hogan promos transcripted from WM6. I remember reading them at Rantasia and thinking it was the most bizarre shit in the world.

[Guest Human Fly]

Anytime Hogan referred to himself as "Woody"

[Guest dreamer420]

Austin has a smile on his face.

 

Rock: How are you feeling?

Austin (still smiling): I feel like crap.

[Guest Ripper]

That hogan promo from Wrestlmania IV was one of the most hilarious things that I had ever SEEN.  I swear, I was just rolling wondering what the hell was he talking about.

[Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate]

Gorilla at SS '89 as Bravo knees Bret Hart between the shoulder blades: "Right in the cervical area..right in the spine."

Uh, if Bret had a cervical area, he'd be competing for the Women's title.

 

Hogan, to Mean Gene (also at SS '89): "Well, cut off my legs and call us both shorty, brother!"

[Guest Special K]

This isn't bad, but it's one of my faves:

"If I wasn't me.... I'd DEFINITELY want to be me."

-RVD

 

I didn't actually see the Bret Osana Bun Laden promo, (I have better ways to spend my money, even if it's on booze), but it really makes me sad for my 2nd favorite in-ring wrestler ever.

[Guest Ignatz Belzner]

The Trips house show quote reminded me of one I witnessed meself:

 

"For the thousands in attendance, and the millions not watching at home..."  It was gold

[Guest]

Well, it's not quite a quote, but I find it funny as hell. Whenever LOD cut a promo(in the WWF, anyway), Animal would talk and then say "Tell 'em, Hawk" and Hawk would always start by saying "WEEEEEEEEELL". It's incredibly funny to watch.

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Bubba Ray: You should know by now, we are the D-d-d-d..

 

Rock: I-i-i-i-i-i-i-it doesnt matter!!!!!

 

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JR (SSeries99): Mankind gave al snow head last thursday on smackdown.

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Heenan: The Taco King just rang his bell. I guess you can call him taco bell.

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The Rock: I did it.for the rock..i did it, i did it, oh shit your mouth you thong wearing fatty!!

-------------

JR: What is that a condom? (yerpel puts sticker on Rock)

 

LAwler: Last time i heard something that bad was a cat getting nutterd (yerpel singing happy birthday)

-------------------------

Hogan: Im going to lay the smackdown on his crippled ass! Still it was funny

-------------------------

Stone cold: Bam Stunner.......put sdomre stink on it.

[Guest JHawk]

Mark Madden (not exact):  "Bruno Sammartino's rolling over in his grave."  Bruno isn't dead yet.  Madden actually apologized on the air for that comment a week later.

[Guest SuicidalAfterBash91]

"Well, it's not quite a quote, but I find it funny as hell. Whenever LOD cut a promo(in the WWF, anyway), Animal would talk and then say "Tell 'em, Hawk" and Hawk would always start by saying "WEEEEEEEEELL". It's incredibly funny to watch."

 

Yeah it is. Ken Shamrock joined LOD in a Survivor Series match in 97 and did the 'tell 'em' line. Hawk then replied with a strangely scary "it sheems to me it sheeeeeeems to be"

[Guest]

"Kane... since you like to find things... and Benoit... since you like to prove things... why don't you go to the back, turn off the lights, and play tinky winky, so Kane can find the penis you claim to have!" Or something along those lines. It was both funny and annoying at the same time.

What did Kane like to find anyway?

 

Ahmed Johnson, International Incident to Dok Hendrix

"Yo Mike, oh, I mean to say Dok"

How did Ahmed know he was Mike Hayes? He just got into wrestlingt at that time. Its not like he worked with him for years before he became Dok Hendrix

 

Heenan: The Taco King just rang his bell. I guess you can call him taco bell.

Who the hell was he talknig about? Jerry Lawler?

 

The Rock: I did it.for the rock..i did it, i did it, oh shit your mouth you thong wearing fatty!!

I remember that. It was hilarious. That wasnt bad at all.

 

JR: What is that a condom? (yerpel puts sticker on Rock)

Why did he say that? The sticker looked like a condom?

 

Mark Madden (not exact):  "Bruno Sammartino's rolling over in his grave."  Bruno isn't dead yet.  Madden actually apologized on the air for that comment a week later.

Hey...you think Madden actually thought Bruno was dead? Or he messed up his words?

 

"Look at cha hero, look at him, hes beggin, hes beggin, you want me to show you mercy? huh? you want me to show you mercy? Well to bad, ITS GHETTO BLASTER TIME FOO" - Bad News Brown(When he was facing Hogan)

 

Hulk would never beg off to Bad News. This in a match?

 

Stephanie:“Hey, Rob. I have a philosophy…once is never enough.”

RVD: “Shyeah, I heard that.”

What did Rob even mean like that?

[Guest JHawk]

Hey...you think Madden actually thought Bruno was dead? Or he messed up his words?

 

It was intentional.  He was making some sort of joke (I believe he mentioned Buddy Rogers and someone else, both of who were actually dead, before mentioning Burno).  It confused peiple who didn't know if Bruno was alive or not and pissed Bruno off to no end.

[Guest]

To whoever asked, the woman that was with Booker T in 99-2000 was Midnight.

Dude that cant be right. I know who Midnight was and the exact quote by sayeitan was this:

 

A-ight, stop me if they're already somewhere on this insanely long thread:

Jericho's recent "face like a picasso" bit. Loose, to that new beefy mic girl: "look at my face! It's a masterpiece! It's like a Picasso!"

 

I jsut wanted to know what he meant cause it to me didnt make a lick of sense.

[Guest WWF4Life]

Am I the only one who remembers at the last ever Halloween Havoc in 2000, Jeff Jarrett calling himself a "stupidstar"?? What made it even more funny was Jarrett was calling the crowd stupid...and then he goes and says that!!! Then Stevie Ray kept mentioning it.    And people wonder why Jarrett isn't in the WWF.  

[Guest Just call me Dan]

I bust out laughing in every single Kurt Angle match.

When he gets the Anklelock or he gets punked out you can watch him mouth some of the funniest profane lines.

I'll break your f*cking ankle you stupid motherf*cker WOO!

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

Some of you guys are forgetting these are supposed to be BAD quotes, although that Hogan/Trump thing is genius and I thank whoever wrote it down.

 

My favorites:

 

Steve Austin: Booker T, you say you wanna "ax' me somethin'." Well, let me tell you boy, an axe is something you chop a tree down with!

 

Also, during the Heyman/JR announce months, there was a reference to the constant speculations of Paul being gay:

 

(as Trish Stratus walks to ring)

Paul: I am in love!

JR: With a woman?

Paul: What is that supposed to mean?

[Guest]

Whenever JR says that someone has been "jerked off" the apron or ladder.

 

The APA's "Always Pounding Ass" t-shirt.

 

"... lotta years and a lotta zeroes..." -Undertaker (don't ask me why, I just find this funny.)

 

"... Cold Stone Steve Austin..." -Mike Tyson, post WrestleMania XIV press conference (try saying it in Tyson's voice with a crappy crotch chop and you'll see just how funny "Iron" Mike can be.)

 

"There's Vince standing across the ring from his ungrateful siblings." -Michael Cole doing commentary at InVasion last year during the Team Alliance vs Team WWF match (he should have said "children," not "siblings.")

 

"...the beautiful, effervescent Linda McMahon..." (or words to that effect) - Scott Hudson, during the WCW title match on RAW last June.

[Guest dreamer420]

"...the beautiful, effervescent Linda McMahon..." (or words to that effect) - Scott Hudson, during the WCW title match on RAW last June.

Ass kissing at it's best!

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Heenan quote i mentioned was mentioned toward El Matador, TitoSantana after he missed the flying jalupeno(taco, forearm whatever)

[Guest Wheat Cracker Experience]

Survivor Series '90, before the main event, it's Hogan, Warrior, and Tito Santana set to take on Dibiase, Martel, Warlord, Roma, and Hercules.  The Warrior says:

 

You. . . will succumb to the powers that we possess, in Hulkamania, and Warrior Wildness, and Arribaderci!

[Guest Addy]

From the old collesium video "Funnys Moments"

 

Bobby Heenan:- "Just how are the Bushwhackers related then?"

 

Gorilla Monsoon:- "Well, Lukes Father and Butchs Father were.....fathers."

 

((Moment of silence))

 

Bobby Heenan:- "Well, you certainly cleared that one up for us Gorilla!"

 

Lord Alfred Hayes:- "Har Har Har, Bobby!"

 

Gorilla pauses as he doesn't know what he said wrong!

[Guest treble charged]

Pat Patterson talking to Stone Cold in the Summer or '98:

"Austin, you say I suck?  I don't suck.  You're an idiot!"

Picture this in Patterson's thick French accent.  It's pretty funny.

[Guest Redhawk]

"... lotta years and a lotta zeroes..." -Undertaker (don't ask me why, I just find this funny.)

"What that means is: You get the pleasure of payin' me lots of money...to kick yo' stank ass!"

 

That sounded so forced it was funny.

[Guest]

I remember the udnertaker saying that. He uses ghetto type talk sopmetimes and sounds like a total retard. Redhawk do you what Raw that was on? I tape Raw and Smackdowns and wanted to go back and make it into a soundfile.

[Guest Redhawk]

It was on Smackdown, the one after Judgment Day 2000. So sometime in May of 2000.