Oldschool commentary Hilarity

[Guest Trivia247]

One of the funniest I can remember back in the day was during WM8.

Ric Flair lost the title, and Bobby Heenan went back to confer with him. During the next match Heenan came back and basically delivered a Statement from Flair's camp. At the end of the statement it just deteriorates to the point where Gorilla kept saying he was a Liar and Heenan was having a Fit..

 

Gorilla: Don't Jump its a Long way down!

 

Heenan: PUT EM UP!

 

It is just a funny mental image where Heenan is trying to control himself and Gorilla's egging him on to the point of Heenan wanting to duke it out with the Gorilla.

 

the rest of the Night Gorilla keeps bring up Flair just getting under Heenan's skin.

 

What other funny commentating moments can you remember from Matches or PPVs? Certainly a number of mid 90's ECW ones with just Joey alone trying to being both the straight man and dry humor was funny in alot of the matches.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

The whole WrestleMania 4 thing with Vanna White. But especially:

 

"I know right where Vanna is. But I can't give my room number over the air."

 

Jesse "The Body" Ventura

[TNABaddboi 0]

The entire commentary at WM5 during Hogan/Savage, especially

 

Ventura: And here comes the challenger....Chump Hogan

 

Gorrilla: His name is Hulk.

 

I always laughed at that. And more recently, at Summerslam 98, during the Rocky/HHH ladder match, as the crowd chanted "Rocky Sucks"

 

Lawler: Tell these people that Rocky does not suck.

 

JR: I'll get right on that.

[JST 0]

Rumble 92. Need I say more.

[JHawk 0]

I remember one episode of Prime Time Wrestling where the announce team was Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Vince McMahon. I can't remember the particular match in question, but I distinctly remember Monsoon making a mention of one of the wrestlers graduating from the "Terry Garvin School of Self-Defense", and Vince says "Terry Garvin?" like he's disgusted they're actually talking about him on the air.

[Guest wayzing]

I remember one episode of Prime Time Wrestling where the announce team was Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Vince McMahon. I can't remember the particular match in question, but I distinctly remember Monsoon making a mention of one of the wrestlers graduating from the "Terry Garvin School of Self-Defense", and Vince says "Terry Garvin?" like he's disgusted they're actually talking about him on the air.

Aaah, the ever-so-subtle Gorilla.

 

Wasn't this when the "graduate" just got kicked in the BUTT? I seem to remember similar references to Pat Patterson before he became a stooge too.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Sorry it's not old school, but I loved when JR would turn all cynical working w/ Heyman in 2001.

 

For example, during the battle royal at SurSer01

 

JR: (in grumpy old man mode) There's DDP. He's got an advantage, he's got nice teeth. (DDP gets dumped) Now he can go floss.

[JHawk 0]

I remember one episode of Prime Time Wrestling where the announce team was Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Vince McMahon.  I can't remember the particular match in question, but I distinctly remember Monsoon making a mention of one of the wrestlers graduating from the "Terry Garvin School of Self-Defense", and Vince says "Terry Garvin?" like he's disgusted they're actually talking about him on the air.

Aaah, the ever-so-subtle Gorilla.

 

Wasn't this when the "graduate" just got kicked in the BUTT? I seem to remember similar references to Pat Patterson before he became a stooge too.

This was around 1988 or so, so the wrestler in question was likely Steve Lombardi. I can't remember for the life of me if anything in particular happened in the match to bring out the line, or if it was just because it was a Steve Lombardi match.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Jerry Lawler completely losing it when TAKA did his 450 splash when he thrown out of the Rumble in 2000 by Boss Man. They replayed it like 6 times throughout the match.

[landy1987 0]

Jesse, Gorilla and Uecker in the midget match at Mania 3 - hilarious!

[JST 0]

Also not Old School, but anytime when Paul Heyman mocked JR's orgasmic reactions to Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[The Czech Republic 0]

WM8, Heenan ripping on Tito Santana and "Arrrrrriba MacIntyre"

[Grenouille 0]

I loved Heenan's stuff from the '93 Survivor Series. His line about Stu Hart stealing another jacket during his entrance gets me every time.

[Guest SpiderFan]

At SummerSlam 91, during Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect. Perfect pulls Brets hair, so Bret pulls Perfects hair, leading to this:

 

Heenan: C'mon, he's pulling the hair!

Monsoon: He's only returning the favour! What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Piper: Yeah, well, one hand washes the other.

 

That one always cracks me up. Piper seemed like he just wanted something to say, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

 

Also from that match:

 

Heenan: Does Hart want it, or does Hart want it?

Piper: Bret's got him in position!

 

Heenan: If your parents were here Piper, they wouldn't let anyone know you were their kid.

Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP!

 

Heenan: Piper, I hear when you were a child, your parents ran away from home.

Piper: I'm gonna let you live just 2.5 hours longer, Boobs.

 

Heenan: Ya know, Piper used to come home from school and find out his parents had moved.

Monsoon: Will you stop! I'm not gonna tell you again, you'll be out of here!

Heenan: I'm sorry. I apologize.

[Guest Jim Ross]

If anybody has Survivor Series 1989 on hand I suggest they watch the Hulkamaniacs vs The Million Dollar Team match.

 

The commentary on that is golden

 

I couldnt do it justice here, but its Monsoon and Jessie at their best. Check it out.

[Guest Jim Ross]

Sorry it's not old school, but I loved when JR would turn all cynical working w/ Heyman in 2001.

 

For example, during the battle royal at SurSer01

 

JR: (in grumpy old man mode) There's DDP. He's got an advantage, he's got nice teeth. (DDP gets dumped) Now he can go floss.

haha yeah.. and can anyone remind me of the exchage they once had concerning one of the Briscos?

 

JR Said something like 'blah blah.. shades of Jack Brisco".. then Heyman replied with "Your only mentioning Jack Brisco because he is from Oklahoma!"

 

JR proceeded to go nuts

[JHawk 0]

Also not old school, but during the lingerie match at No Mercy 2001, Heyman said something about Torrie and Stacy wrestling with him or something along those lines.

 

JR: "In your dreams."

Heyman: "You know, that's a very accurate statement, JR."

[Guest MikeSC]

There was a match on, I believe, Prime Time early in 1988. Bigelow v Bundy.

 

Bigelow splashed Bundy and got a quick three-count.

 

While watching the replay, we got:

 

Jesse: Watch this fast-count.

Vince: That count looked slow.

Jesse: It's slow-motion, you idiot.

-=Mike

[JHawk 0]

Jesse trying to explain Dino Bravo's botched bench press at the 1988 Royal Rumble was classic!

 

"I put two pounds of added pressure on the bar with my pinkies, but I did not grab the bar!"

[therealworldschampion 0]

I loved Heenan's stuff from the '93 Survivor Series. His line about Stu Hart stealing another jacket during his entrance gets me every time.

 

I remember this line when Stu was wearing the Bruins Jacket:

"Oh isn't that nice? He has a picture of Helen on the back of his jacket"

 

Also on the Hulk Still Rules DVD, Vince's gay cracks about the Genius during the Hogan/Perfect match are great.

[DCMaximo 0]

At WrestleMania 6, Jesse is great during the Dusty/Sapphire vs Savage/Sherri match. There is a brilliant part where Rhodes and Sapphire are announced as a total combined weight of 350lbs, which sends Jesse mad

 

Jesse:"350lbs? How can that be Gorilla? I mean, Sapphire weights 250 on her own, are you telling me that Rhodes only weighs 100lbs?"

 

Also, during the Rockers/Orient Express match, Mr Fuji pulls down the top rope with his cane, sending Michaels to the floor..

 

Jesse:"Brilliant move by Mr Fuji, totally legal"

 

Monsoon:"Are you kidding?"

 

Jesse:"Hey, if the referee didn't see it, it's legal"

[MillenniumMan831 0]

After Demolition beat Strike Force at WMIV w/ help from Fuji's cane

 

Ventura: That looked to be illegal.

Gorilla: What do you mean LOOKED to be illegal?!? The guy clobbered him with the cane!

Ventura: I know, it appeared to be illegal.

[Kardo 0]

Even Lord Alfred Hayes has had some good calls.

 

During the Nastys vs. Money Inc. after Money Inc cheat and Sean Mooney whinges about it.

 

"This is a mans game Sean. If you're not a man get out".

 

Sean shut up pretty quickly after that.

[Guest Fook]

Sean Mooney whines about it.

Who?

[Guest Jesse]

Everything Art Donovan said on KOTR 94 was gold. The guy was clueless.

[TheFranchise 0]

Sean Mooney whines about it.

Who?

Post the pic!!

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Everything Art Donovan said on KOTR 94 was gold. The guy was clueless.

"How much does this guy weigh?"

 

I swear that guy almost single handedly ruined KOTR94. Poor Macho Man had to answer all of his questions about half way through after Gorilla started ignoring him entirely.

[JST 0]

Ugh, yeah. I'd like to superkick the genius who approved Art Donovan's presence on that show.

[JHawk 0]

Lord Alfred Hayes on The Conquistadors: "Well, the Conquistador in the ring is about 6'1", and his partner's about 6'4", so his partner's a little a little taller."

[Guest Trivia247]

Wm2

 

two little items

 

With Vince and Susan St-James

 

Vince: And there is Muroco..Sweating perfusely

 

(Later during the Savage Steele Match)

 

Susan: Alright George Eat his Leg!