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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Agent of Oblivion and Kotzenjunge are:

 

The NEW Dukes of Hazzard.

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A Winnah Is You~!-Each week, our host Chave journeys to different locations, pulling unsuspecting residents into some of the most offbeat, wackiest contests around. From "Best Hair-Dye Job" to "Best Birthmark in a private location", watch hilarity ensue as our host engages in discussion with the contestants, and perhaps reveals too much of himself at times.
Posted

Kylie - a 30 minute pilot that only runs 2 minutes...as the show is cancelled after hearing Kotz obsessively drone on and on about his goddess for as long as the censors can handle it.

 

I'm A Car Guy, I Swear - Kotz's second 30 minute show...this one runs five minutes...as he starts off talking about Vettes and Stangs...then suddenly shifts into his Kylie-love when a caller asks about rear-ends.

 

Hot Or Not: Malibu Style - a travel show in which Zack Malibu travels the GLOBE in search of people he could be seen with and not have the collective of Zack + other person NOT equal hotness. If someone can drag the collective hotness down into the "not hot" range....they win 10,000 dollars. The first winner = Stephen Joseph. He then uses the money to buy a closing 84 Lumber store...then goes on a rant about how he "saved the boards"

 

and finally

 

RavishingRickRudo and Prime Guy ARE: THE NEW PERFECT STRANGERS

Posted
Randolicious-The Amazing Rando stars as a restaurant owner with his own quirky ways of preparing his dishes and handling life's little trials. An ensemble cast of TSMers rounds out the show, including Nice Guy Adam as the young waiter taken under Rando's wing, Treble Charged as an employee of the bookstore next door, and Choken One as the cynical sports columnist who treats the restaurant as a second home (sometimes to the disdain of the staff).
Posted

Extreme Makeovers- Ass Edition. Hosted by Ripper.

 

Each week some young, skinney assless (yet otherwise great looking) women sends in a tape discussing how their lack of ass has made their lives difficult. These stories will be viewed by Ripper, and the one that brings him to tears is the one to recieve the EXTREME~! make over.

 

Ripper suprises the unsuspecting winner and takes them on a 3 month journey to bootyliciousness using all of the home remedies known to man (including soul food, and doggystyle sex CONSTANTLY)

 

Three months later, the final revel occurs to their shocked and awed families. They then return later to discuss how much better life is now that they have a nice ass.

 

The show kicks off with a 4 hour marathon featuring the first four winners, Jessica Alba and that Chick from the Black Eyed Peas, Jessica Simpson, and That chick from the Girl Next Door.

 

THAT is must see TV just to watch me drawing on their now flat buttock with a marker and saying "We are going to try and fill this area in...yeah...and a little rounder right here...."

Guest Vitamin X
Posted
Extreme Makeovers- Ass Edition. Hosted by Ripper.

 

Each week some young, skinney assless (yet otherwise great looking) women sends in a tape discussing how their lack of ass has made their lives difficult. These stories will be viewed by Ripper, and the one that brings him to tears is the one to recieve the EXTREME~! make over.

 

Ripper suprises the unsuspecting winner and takes them on a 3 month journey to bootyliciousness using all of the home remedies known to man (including soul food, and doggystyle sex CONSTANTLY)

 

Three months later, the final revel occurs to their shocked and awed families. They then return later to discuss how much better life is now that they have a nice ass.

 

The show kicks off with a 4 hour marathon featuring the first four winners, Jessica Alba and that Chick from the Black Eyed Peas, Jessica Simpson, and That chick from the Girl Next Door

 

THAT is must see TV just to watch me drawing on their now flat buttock with a marker and saying "We are going to try and fill this area in...yeah...and a little rounder right here...."

Elisha Cuthbert? Are you freakin kidding me?

 

Elisha%20(44)_jpg_jpg.jpg

 

Not a big ass but you can't negate it's niceness

Guest Dids
Posted

Ripper, you can't ever say anything wrong about Jessica Alba (save her acting and role selection). I love a big ass as much as you do- but her's is perfect by definition, because it's on her.

 

CWM's show isn't Jackass, it's Viva La Gnome.

 

I think we all know who's hosting the NEW~! Chevy Chase Show.

Posted
Extreme Makeovers- Ass Edition.  Hosted by Ripper.

 

Each week some young, skinney assless (yet otherwise great looking) women  sends in a tape discussing how their lack of ass has made their lives difficult.  These stories will be viewed by Ripper, and the one that brings him to tears is the one to recieve the EXTREME~! make over. 

 

Ripper suprises the unsuspecting winner and takes them on a 3 month journey to bootyliciousness using all of the home remedies known to man (including soul food, and doggystyle sex CONSTANTLY) 

 

Three months later, the final revel occurs to their shocked and awed families.  They then return later to discuss how much better life is now that they have a nice ass. 

 

The show kicks off with a 4 hour marathon featuring the first four winners, Jessica Alba and that Chick from the Black Eyed Peas, Jessica Simpson, and That chick from the Girl Next Door

 

THAT is must see TV just to watch me drawing on their now flat buttock with a marker and saying "We are going to try and fill this area in...yeah...and a little rounder right here...."

Elisha Cuthbert? Are you freakin kidding me?

Not a big ass but you can't negate it's niceness

Ass? I think not.

 

For something to be nice, it must first exist. It does not exist therefore it does not equate niceness..

 

Ripper - Philosopher since 1990

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted
Popick could do it.

 

As for Daisy Duke?

Kylie Minogue, obviously.

 

Dids can be Boss Hogg. He's white and portly, and would look cool with the hat and cigar.

 

I see Mr. Rant as Roscoe P Coltrane.

Posted
Popick could do it.

 

As for Daisy Duke?

Kylie Minogue, obviously.

 

Dids can be Boss Hogg. He's white and portly, and would look cool with the hat and cigar.

 

I see Mr. Rant as Roscoe P Coltrane.

I'd Be uncle Jesse, even though I look nothing like him. I just want to do the point of doom in the opening credits.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Since it's the NEW Dukes, you'd get to be a revolutionary new character in Hazzard County. Jamal, the wise beyond his years negro who helps everyone with their problems down at the county lockup. It's never said exactly what he's in for, but Roscoe has made some serious breakthroughs with his self-esteem since talking to Jamal. He's also become more vocal about his feelings for Flash.

 

C'mon Ripper, the town is called HAZZARD. You think you'd get away with being Uncle Jesse? The new Uncle Jesse is John Stamos.

Posted
Since it's the NEW Dukes, you'd get to be a revolutionary new character in Hazzard County. Jamal, the wise beyond his years negro who helps everyone with their problems down at the county lockup. It's never said exactly what he's in for, but Roscoe has made some serious breakthroughs with his self-esteem since talking to Jamal. He's also become more vocal about his feelings for Flash.

 

C'mon Ripper, the town is called HAZZARD. You think you'd get away with being Uncle Jesse? The new Uncle Jesse is John Stamos.

I'll be damned if my name will be Jamal. Give me the role of the new Cooter.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

How about...Jermajesty? It's good enough for Jermaine Jackson's kid.

Posted

You know, Maybe I should just steer clear of this vehicle at this point in my career. Plus this would kill any crossover possibilities with my RIPPER show.

 

I could come to town and defend some evil oil tycoons that roughed Uncle Jesse up after he wouldn't sell his land for drilling.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Incidentally, was there ever a black person on The Dukes of Hazzard? I seriously don't think I remember one. Going by that kind of history, maybe you might not wanna cross that line...people are nuts in Kentucky, but when you mix that with Hollywood...oh god.

Posted
Incidentally, was there ever a black person on The Dukes of Hazzard? I seriously don't think I remember one. Going by that kind of history, maybe you might not wanna cross that line...people are nuts in Kentucky, but when you mix that with Hollywood...oh god.

There was this one guy that jumped out the way at a construction site when the Duke boys came through. They then ran over his ramp of dirt that he was constructing.

 

The only black guy there and they try to run him over. Damn Kentucky-ians.

Posted

"The Rush"

Corey Lazarus plays himself in this semi-autobiographical horror sitcom. Laz is after the Friendly United County Kitchenware coporation for closing down his place of employment. Along his journey, F. U. C. K. Inc. will send their army of zombies after him.

 

...yeah...I suck as a show writer, shut up.

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