The 15 Most Tortured Sports Cities

[KingPK 0]

In yet ANOTHER list countdown, here are cities 15-5:

 

15. Tampa Bay

14. Kansas City

13. Cincinnati

12. Phoenix

11. Washington, D.C.

10. Houston

9. San Diego

8. Atlanta

7. Seattle

6. Minneapolis

5. Boston

 

Speaking of the #5 selection, Bill Simmons chimed in with a dissenting opinion. He's pretty spot on, I think. He also talked about the other cities on the list, but here's what he said about Boston being "tortured":

 

All I can tell you is this ...

 

In the past 30 years, I watched the following players and coaches in their primes (or something that was reasonably close to their primes): Bird, Orr, Pedro, Clemens, Esposito, Havlicek, Cowens, Neely, Bourque, McHale, Tippett, Parish, DJ, Fisk, Nomar, Manny, Bledsoe, Lewis, Brady, Parcells and Belichick.

 

I watched seven championship teams. Seven. Including two Super Bowl titles in the past three years. I also watched countless other teams that came damned close (including the '75 and '86 Sox, '76 Pats, '85 and '87 Celts, '78 and 79 B's, '96 Pats and last year's Sox team).

 

Four fantastic things happened over this time, at least for me:

 

1. Watching the '86 Celts on a day-to-day basis. The best team ever. I haven't seen hoops played quite like that before or since.

 

2. Watching Pedro pitch in his prime. You could scalp decent tickets for about $75 a pop in '99 and '00. I didn't have any money. I was barely making it. Seriously. We're talking mac-and-cheese three nights a week. Didn't matter. You didn't think about these things when Pedro was pitching right down the street. You just scalped the tickets.

 

3. Watching that first Super Bowl victory in New Orleans -- the day the impossible happened. I still remember going into halftime up 14-3, the Superdome buzzing, that unparalled feeling where every fan realizes that something memorable could happen, that you should just be happy to be in the building ... and right as we're all realizing this, U2 comes out and sings "Beautiful Day." Never before has a song matched a sports moment like that. At least not for me.

 

4. This isn't a distinct moment, but it matters to me and many others growing up in Boston in the '70s: When I was a kid, I got to read columns from Leigh Montville and Ray Fitzgerald in the Globe every day. Peter Gammons covered the Sox. Will McDonough covered the Pats. Bob Ryan covered hoops. This is what we grew up with -- five guys who knew what they were doing. And if that doesn't make sports a little more special for everyone involved, I don't know what does.

 

Those were four of my best memories. I have dozens more. Like Bird stealing the ball from Isiah, Pedro coming out of the bullpen in Cleveland, Stan Jonathan pounding Pierre Bouchard like a piece of veal ... believe me, I could go on all day. We've just had it too good. Even recently, other than the two Super Bowls, the Celtics made the Eastern finals in 2002 and the Sox nearly made the 2003 World Series. There was always something happening, and something's better than nothing. As a sports fan, would you have rather lived in Washington or Boston these last 25 years? Seattle or Boston? Minnesota or Boston? Please.

 

I know, I know ... Boston only makes this list because of the Red Sox. And yes, I'm the same guy who started out a column the following way:

 

"Twenty minutes after the Yankees eliminated the Sox, I called my father to make sure he was still alive. And that's not even a joke. I wanted to make sure Dad wasn't dead. That's what it feels like to be a Red Sox fan. You make phone calls thinking to yourself, 'Hopefully, my Dad picks up, because there's at least a 5-percent chance that the Red Sox just killed him.' "

 

Exaggerated? Absolutely not.

 

Am I happy to be a Red Sox fan? Absolutely.

 

We had Lynn, Rice, Fisk, Yaz and Tiant in the '70s; the Clemens Era in the '80s; Nomar and Pedro in the '90s ... jeez, there was always something happening. We have Fenway. We have die-hards spread across the entire country, like Cyrus's armies in "The Warriors," enough manpower to overpower half the home crowds in the American League. We have owners willing to spend upward of $100 million a year to remain competitive, an exclusive group, like being one of the only guys at a poker table with chips. We have a complicated blood-feud with the Yanks that reached Cold War proportions last winter. And we always have next year. Because you never know.

 

One thing I do know: We shouldn't be on this list of losers. And if anyone at Cold Pizza wants to respond ... well, I can't hear you, I have two Super Bowl rings clogging my ears.

 

He picks Buffalo as his most tortured city, and I have to agree totally.

 

My top 5 cities would probably be:

 

1. Buffalo (4 consecutive Superbowl losses is tough to top)

2. Cleveland

3. Seattle (especially with the sorry state of the Mariners right now)

4. D.C.

5. Pittsburgh

Edited May 26, 2004 by Kingpk

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Philadelphia absolutely has to be #1. With teams in all four sports, they've won nothing since 1983.

[KingPK 0]

But the 76ers have been competitive, the Flyers were in the confrence finals this year, and the Eagles have been in 3 straight title games.

 

I'd say they are pretty close to Boston; the teams are good, and there have been good players, but they just can't make it to the Promised Land.

[1234-5678 0]

Philadelphia absolutely has to be #1. With teams in all four sports, they've won nothing since 1983.

And this year alone, the Eagles and the Flyers were one game away from playing for the championship.

[Sass 0]

Chicago.

 

Maybe Cleveland.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

Hey I wouldn't call Cincy tortured. The Bengals are 8-8 and look to be real contenders next year and the Reds are currently 26-18 and still have a WS win and playoff appearance in somewhat recent memory.

 

And why is Seattle on the list twice?

[KingPK 0]

Chicago had the Jordan Era, so they still have a ways to go before they are "tortured".

 

I'd put Cleveland over them in a second.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

But the 76ers have been competitive, the Flyers were in the confrence finals this year, and the Eagles have been in 3 straight title games.

 

And this year alone, the Eagles and the Flyers were one game away from playing for the championship.

 

And they didn't. Here's the difference between Red Sox fans and Philly fans. Sox fans are heartbroken when their team loses. Philly fans left in the 7th with a two run lead because they knew the team would lose.

 

Sad but true.

[KingPK 0]

And why is Seattle on the list twice?

The list on the bottom is MY top 5, not ESPN's.

[Slayer 0]

And why is Seattle on the list twice?

They deserve two separate entries

 

One for the '94 Sonics

The other for the '01 Mariners

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

Geez, they're actually trying to draw this countdown out for awhile. They just need to except the fact that no one gives a damn about Cold Pizza.

[Bored 0]

Cleveland is the obvious #1. They haven't had a World Champion since the '64 Browns.

[treble 0]

How is Tampa Bay anywhere near the top 15? The Bucs have been a good team (for the most part, anyway) for the last few years and have a Super Bowl to show for it, while the Lightning were the 2nd best team in the NHL, have won 2 straight divisional titles, and are playing for the Stanley Cup this year. So what if the Devil Rays, suck, does anyone care about them, anyway?

 

I think Toronto deserves to be on there (not in the top 5, or anything), if only because the only team they really care about, The Leafs, have the longest finals drought in the NHL and have never been quite good enough to win anything, and everytime they come close to just making it out of the conference, they lose to a team they should beat.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

My top 5 in no particular order

 

Phoenix

Cleveland

Washington DC

New Orleans

San Diego

[Guest Redhawk]

Buffalo has the 4 Super Bowl losses and the Music City Miracle. And didn't the Sabres lose the Stanley Cup on the "in the crease" thing versus the Stars? They also have O.J., and they lost an NBA team (or was it ABA?).

 

As a Seattle resident, I'm okay with out place on the list. The only time the Mariners ever broke anyone's heart was probably 2001, because I don't think people thought they could actually win the Series any other year. The Sonics hurt us with awesome regular seasons but first-round exits in '94 and '95. And the Seahawks just generally suck.

[Agent_Bond34 0]

and they lost an NBA team (or was it ABA?)

If I'm not mistaken, Buffalo lost the "Buffalo Braves", who went on the be the Los Angeles Clippers.

 

I may be wrong, however.

[The Ghost of bps21 0]

FINALLY!!!

 

WE'RE #1!!!!

 

4 straight SuperBowl losses. Music City Miracle. No Goal. No Goal 2. Losing a professional Basketball franchise. Losing in the AFL Championship Game heading into SuperBowl 1. 6 Finals appearances in our 2 pro sports...0 Championships.

 

IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!!!

[Slayer 0]

No Goal 2?

[sfaJack 0]

Not that I've been all that upset about it, but outside of the Rockets' two titles (10 years ago now...geez), Houston has just about NOTHING to show in its sports history. The Astros' and Oilers' meltdowns are the stuff of legend. Maybe not the #1 tortured city, but I think Houston is a contender.

[starvenger 0]

Not that I've been all that upset about it, but outside of the Rockets' two titles (10 years ago now...geez), Houston has just about NOTHING to show in its sports history. The Astros' and Oilers' meltdowns are the stuff of legend. Maybe not the #1 tortured city, but I think Houston is a contender.

If you go further down the chart Rice won... something or other last year, the Houston Aeros were AHL champs in 2003 and the Comets won some WNBA titles.

 

...yeah, I'm not fooling anyone. Nobody really cares about hockey, women's hoops or Rice University down here...

[Ripper 0]

Atlanta should be number 2. Take away ONE world series win and you are done with our winning ways for decades.

[starvenger 0]

Atlanta should be number 2. Take away ONE world series win and you are done with our winning ways for decades.

You mean, take away the BRAVES. It's hard to see Atlanta as tortured when the Braves clinch the division just about every year.

 

Which is why Simmons is exactly right about Boston. Yes, the Bruins and Red Sox haven't won titles in ages, but the Patriots and Celtics have kept the city (somewhat) happy, and thirsting for more. And don't forget that the city celebrated when Ray Borque (oh, and the Avalanche) got his name on the Cup. Oh yeah, so tortured.

 

Buffalo is a logical #1. 0 for 6 in major sports finals is pretty impressive - they've worked hard to be the "most tortured city"...

[Ripper 0]

If thats the case the buffalo getting to the super bowl 4 straight times should be why they are not tourtured. Winning the division every year and getting tossed in the first or second round year after year AFTER YEAR or coughing up 5-6 world series should definately should count as a tourture.

[treble 0]

No Goal 2?

I think it happened the year after they lost in the finals. Against Philly, John Leclair (again, I think it was him) had a shot that went through a hole in the side of the net and was ruled a goal.

[CanadianChris 0]

If thats the case the buffalo getting to the super bowl 4 straight times should be why they are not tourtured. Winning the division every year and getting tossed in the first or second round year after year AFTER YEAR or coughing up 5-6 world series should definately should count as a tourture.

Well, yeah, maybe, if Atlanta fans actually gave a shit.

[Ripper 0]

If thats the case the buffalo getting to the super bowl 4 straight times should be why they are not tourtured.  Winning the division every year and getting tossed in the first or second round year after year AFTER YEAR or coughing up 5-6 world series should definately should count as a tourture.

Well, yeah, maybe, if Atlanta fans actually gave a shit.

...

 

 

Can...can't really argue that. We do have the worst fans in the world.

 

But you can argue that there are so many transplants here, that not many atlantans are living here.

[starvenger 0]

If thats the case the buffalo getting to the super bowl 4 straight times should be why they are not tourtured. Winning the division every year and getting tossed in the first or second round year after year AFTER YEAR or coughing up 5-6 world series should definately should count as a tourture.

Eh, you're probably right. I have a hard time judging Buffalo, as I have a bias against them, being from Toronto and all. The most painful thing for me was seeing the fans go "oh well, we're still the second best team in the league" when you know that they don't really mean that.

 

Still, 1 championship is better than none. Atlantans should at least be happy that they've gotten a taste of victory...

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

Cleveland should be #1. The Indians haven't won anything in 50 years, and in the 1990s they had to suffer the 1997 World Series and being the only team to lose to Atlanta, the biggest chokers in MLB history. The Cavs have sucked for like ever. The Browns have done nothing since Modell bought them, were stolen by Baltimore, brought back, only to see the old team win the Super Bowl. Tim Couch was pretty heartbreaking in general.

[KingPK 0]

Plus, the Falcons have Vick to entertain them for years to come (if he doesn't break his leg again).

[Guest Jimbo]

Ack, once again, Washington plays to mediocrity. Whether it is on the field, or in torturing the fans, they can never finish the job properly.

 

I think 3 or 4 years ago, you could have considered Washington a "tortured" city. Now we're all jaded. I mean, 6 straight season where the 'skins are supposed to now have that winning touch after Snyder's shopping...and it all blows up.

 

The Wizards haven't been worth reading about for a loooonnngg time. They only get the front page of the Post because htey are in the NBA, even though people still care about Maryland's BBall, and to a certain degree, G'town's horrid program, more.

 

Same with the Caps. Who the hell even plays for them anymore? ALl I know is that no one has been excited about hte caps since htey got to the finals. And 2 yeas later when they were doing really well, only to get spanked in the first round of the playoffs.

 

these teams are always AWFUL...but never awful enough to get the first pick in a draft and create a buzz in the town. Never good enough that when a team actually does start playing well, that people will care.

 

Gibbs is the first thing in many, many years that people were actually talking about. Hopefully he can turn it around and get a little life in to this jaded sports area. NODODY cares right now.

 

I suppose you can't say we're the worst because of the 3 Redskin Superbowls, but it has been a long time since 1991.