Smarkdown Comments

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Okay everyone. Comment on everything. Right before we head off into the PPV. Congrats to Team Heel, Janus, Danny, and everyone else who won. Which includes me. Mad props to me.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Danny, awesome match. Seriously, that was some really great stuff. You showed that you can DO THE COMEDY~ with some hilarious stuff in there. Underneath it all is a really solid wrestling encounter, too.

[King Cucaracha 0]

I concur with Grappler. I'm still shocked over the 'pantsed' section, which in all fairness I wouldn't have expected to see in one of your matches. I mean that in the nicest way.

 

Spike...that match proved your status as 'underrated'. I've been thinking it ever since you beat Todd in that Cage Match. A few more matches like that, and you'll be running with the top-leveleres.

 

And Danny's Great Wrestling Penis. That needs to be trademarked...now.

[Dace59 0]

Yes, yes I'm still commenting, dont worry. I bet some people just read my comments rather than the show somtimes.

 

No opening affair this time, just straight into the opening match up. Nice opening gag about Tryst, nice line. Fast and frantic to start, off. Blockig the rana to the slingshot of the ropes is a nice crusier spot to use. I think Munich is still shaking off some rust, a little clumped together, but the action is decent. General spotty crusier stuff, lots of going to the outside and back and forth action. It's slowly adding in more detail and flow than his first match back, but still feels a clunky almost. Probably like my writing does as well.

 

Match number two: The Insane One up against Blazenwing. My god IL's writing again! Blazenweing makes a sort run at IL's head to try and taken the bigger man only, only to get out paced in an odd twist to the norm. But Blazenwing gets back incontrol and goes straight back to the head in a nice little flow. Even more headwork, then IL gets over as the nutter he his, fightingb back with headbutts. Only works because of the character. Drop Toe Hold onto the ropes it s nice different stop to keep IL's offence following without doing anything two major that would affect his head. Sudden finish, but it's a nice spot, and winning by count out worked better thab just dragged him in for the pin.

 

Match three now: As ever, everyone gets pimped out in the opening because we're such a great and caring fed. I think Spike is putting himself over just a tiny bit in this match, heh. Spike gets lucky early on and takse Liston out quickly to take it down to three man. Fair enough, not the easist match to write. I do like the little touch where Spike recovers and just sits there, letting Crow tap out, rarely seen thing that. Even if it is heelish. And then it kicks off into real action with Spike and Todd going back and froth, good line with the Rolling Elbow as well. Spike gets his ass handed to him in a string of near falls for a little heat segemnt (no it isn't a tag match) before he fights back with a really close fall. Really fancy end spot from Spike, with the Chaos Theory rolled into a Cattle Mutilation. Actually makes him look good, shock!

 

Match Four: I think Danny's going for just a little humour heading into this one. Which is good, playing up the TMM character rather thatn just steam rolling through him in a normal match. Having TMM meet Williams head on in wrestling and come out ontop to start with also works to put him over, going head to heard with the champ breifly. And even Danny is getting in on the act with Bobby's huge Flesher Fetish. I have no ideas where the pulling down of the pants came from, but it's brilliant anyway. And it leads straight into a heated rage from Danny, but it swerves staright back into comedy, nice one. And that still carries on when Danny makes a cover and it actually costs him in pin fall. Comedy and psychology, what an odd mix but it works. And Danny keeps up the comedy, even as the action real starts to heat up and he stills puts TMM over as well. Even that La Magistral Cradle isnt going to work this time. And Danny finally gets the win with the Powerbomb. That's was odd but really good. Seemless move from comedy to the real match as well as butting TMM over really well, not being able to beat him with the usual technical roll ups. Nice.

 

ICTV Title title. Janus, damn you and making dodgy signs about Dace and Flesher. Damn you boy (well man)! Selling continuarity but what's new from this fed. Johnny's going after the leg, but he has to fight to take the big man down to really get a chance to work his leg. Johnny almost gets blasted early on, aven even after he fights back from being Dragon Suplex, he's more stunned than Janus is from the blow to the leg and he gets crushed again (but the faces dont always gave it easy). Janus gets lazy and busts out the elbow giant eblow drop pin...my god. The balance is set out between Janus's power and his toughness, even after the leg work from early matches. On the other side is Johnny speed and ablity to strike at Janus' weak leg. Dangerous makes all the usal struggling face come backs, hitting Janus' knee to escape all the big moves, but he's slower and slower to get up each time as Janus wears him down. The image of Janus using the Rolling Lariat is just SCARY, but Johnny dodges and goes back to the knee to save himself. Massive MI Slam to the floor, making it look like Dangerous might win, but the time to get him back in it long enough for Janus to recover and kick out. But as Johnny tries to carry on his offence run from the Cross Kneebreaker, he's trying to do a crush wave on a mountain and the mountain crushes back to kill him.

 

Promo time: Bwahahaha at TMM's actions, and it seems no one in the fed is safe from having their sexual actions questioned these days (but hey, don't roids cause certain areas to strink anyway?) Just a classic little number and a great way to announce the ppv match.

 

Dark match: Great Pepsi Max pimping and the Botox joke is fantastic as well. Man, we're having so many Dark Matches these days, it's almost tradition. We should start booking them on the card, with like 2K limits. This is just Maddix showing off, and just another way to hype up the Iron Man Match at the ppv. Hey, it gets him going in lookinc strong so it's all good.

 

More Promoing: Nice to see the bad guys can't get along. Really cutting and feels pretty real two. Nice number and helps to put over both Flesher's and Toxxic's plans for the PPV.

 

Main Even Six Man Tag Team Goodness: (Y) @ the fingerpoke of doom joke in the intros. Dustin and Ace go in to play of their SWF debut match up. Going back and forth like the crusierweights they are. Dustin ends up in enemy land and starts to get worked over. Of course, when Toxxic comes in and pins him, he breaks off to star Kibagami down, just showing even single bit of tension that has been building between the two. Flesher uses the wealth of get expereince to get the upperhand over Dustin and it's only luck that lets Dustin escape and tag out to Kibagami, who evens up the odds. Almost odd to see the faces getting a short run in their corner, buth with what's going on between all these guys it does work, and it's there to work up build to the ppv, so it needs that meaning all the more. Flesher gets his arm worked over in the corner by Kibagami (makes a note for his match) Kibagami falls foul of a low blow, but so fittingly, Toxxic doesn't get tagged in, just showing the rift between the heels. Hmmm, Allison and Jet getting it on, I'd ALMOST day to see that (but Kayin and Serena is so much better) Kibagam is paying from price for his run in the corner as he gets worked over. Toxxic sneaking up into the face corner and ranaing Dustin off the apron while Dace argues with the ref is a fantastic spot, it's a really, really neat heel move. The Backdrop Driver combo back and the double count is another great touch to set up Toxxic/Kibagami in last man standing. Dace just gets to pull off a fighting crush rush on Flesher to almost take him down, but the heel team brings in the chair. And a brilliant heel rush ending, Toxxic and Ace take out Dace and Kibs after Dustin gets caught by Ace again and Flesher just chokes him out. Pretty good 6 man tag and works up both matches for the ppv. Good job.

 

Ending promo: Short and mine of course. But know we (offical) know the final of the best of five and it's going to be brutal.

 

Good job people, let's just keep all the balls rolling into the PPV ok? Good good.

[The Ill One 0]

PART ONE~!

 

Hey here’s some proof I still care about the federation and its writers! Anyway, I’m going to make some in-depth comments, or attempt to, for every single thing. Not that my opinion is worth anything- but, hey, whatever makes me sleep at night? Right? Bit more constructive than you’d think coming from me but if I just rambled on how awesome you are, well, not much help ‘sides an ego boost. I realize I’ll say a lot of things where I do them wrong- every. Damn. Match. But after being here long as I have I can pick it out and say it. Like I’m a spot-monkey but at the same time I know when the psychology is off. Brutally honest comments.

 

 

Munich versus Tryst- Like the opening comments of “We have not seen the talented Tryst for quite some time now.” Nice. Marlboro 27’s? Eh, I only smoke when I’m insanely stressed so I can’t say much there. However I digress. First thing I want to point out is something you seem quite aware of. Your commentary is by no means bad- but it’s “off.” It doesn’t have the chemistry between Riley and Comet like most other matches provide. I know writing Comet is new, and rather tough not overdoing it or not doing it at all, while Riley should be a bit more… harsh, bitter, heel, surly? ‘Fore I go into a ramble all I mean is that it doesn’t sound like something Riley would say- “He might still belong.” Like the details before the opening bell feels more old-school but unless you need to tack on the extra words I figure it could be done without. It just strikes me that it takes away focus from the actual match in the point of if there’s meant to be intensity or tension (which doesn’t apply here but in the future) it seems a bit sidetracked.

 

Roja- I am going to bite your balls off, bitch!

 

Munich- Well come on poopy head, bring it!

 

Roja- I will soon as Kivell stops patting my ball sack for weapons!

 

Munich- Oh I’ll wait!

 

See what I mean? Anyway the opening exchange is easy to picture and nice way to start out rather quickly paced. Again my mind can’t get over the fact that Comet’s still “off” but it’s not that distracting… it’s just something you asked me to pay attention to. Okay the “bulleye’s” comment was witty but not necessary. Another stare down, nice. I think Comet would be more likely to say “These two great Citizens are putting on a terrific show!” then the rant he got into. Comet is always more likely to call Riley, “Robert” than “Citizen Riley.” Another side note (I’m not trying to nit-pick to be a bitch but patching that up would improve the flow and read. Mostly because the reader might stop and think, “hey… that’s not quite right…”). You certainly love your steel step spot, don’t you? Delicious spots and damn fun to write, aren’t they?

 

“The move doesn’t look to be of blood drawing quality, but is enough to drive Munich back again into the stairs.”

 

Not feeling the first part. It’s not a bad thing to do this but it really can make the fans get distracted (“hey remember that one ca-razy mofo’ who got his nose cracked in that Puro match?” –paging Danny Williams, paging Danny Williams-). “The impact is enough to drive Munich back into the unforgiving steel steps!” You’re a better writer than me (as is everyone else) so don’t take that line for an example but more of it could’ve sounded like.

 

Not that I’m asking for a Myers’ pin attempt (where the space between the “ONE” and “TWO” is a good few pages) but I don’t like how quick you put the counts. No real suspense, something to shrug off really easily. The action is quite solid and enjoyable, nice pace, good description- but blah, that commentary is really irking me. Second time for an outside brawl, not too shabby, but it could’ve stayed in the ring. (How much of a hypocrite am I?). If you used named moves make sure you tell us or at least describe better what it’d be (I’m thinking of “Plan M” here). Made me stop, reread, make sure I’m not overlooking the obvious then glance over it again. Not good for the flow for neither the marker nor the reader. Totally forgivable but in a match where the competition is closer you want it to be a smooth read. You don’t want to feel like you hafta’ press the mental “rewind” to try to visual it. The action is fine towards the ending… which is also quite fine and the C4 crunch was a fine ending.

 

Overall- Munich, man, you still got it. I can’t think of who does the best commentary for you to refer to, but just tweak the commentary and maybe trim off some of the descriptions or appositions that aren’t needed.

 

Work on- Commentary.

 

Keep up- Fast paced and (mostly) easy-to-visual action.

 

 

IL versus Blazenwing

 

Ah… what the hell. First time I’ve shown in a long time. It shows. The match is awful and the actual story told is totally incoherent because it shifts to a whole new story. So screw this.

 

Overall- Don’t read? Though I adore writing IL as a heel and will continue to adore it as Crow/IL hopefully continues. He makes such a great psycho dick if you know how to write it.

 

Work on- Well showing’s a first then cutting my failed (natural though) descriptive style, then grammar, and then just wrestling knowledge in general.

 

Keep up- Commentary? Feels like “IL”?

 

 

Spike versus Todd versus Liston versus Crow

 

Hmmm, all those sign ideas have been covered, so I can’t say they made me chuckle like signs should. “Judge and Rule?” “Hunt Todd Royal?” That is easily solved by quick proof read with the little things that people catch after you've sent the match. Aren’t four entrances to write a bitch? Either way you don’t slack up with any of them, good job. Now one thing that immediately caught my attention- the spot with the ill-fated double-whipped was great. But Crow is NOT the type to bail out of the ring. Man you got Liston out of the picture very early, didn’t you? It works and all, but seems really quick. Anyway at the time I can’t help but to wonder if Crow decided to smoke a cig or a bowl or something while all this is going on. Like Riley’s comments about the shotei and Flesher association. Okay the thing that’s hard for me to comment on is that your match is totally average. It’s good but there’s nothing for me to tear apart or praise you on… until I read Crow’s elimination. Crow is a tough bastard! He should pass out before tap out. Seriously, respect tha’ bird. I like the rolling elbow smacked down by a palm strike and the rest is nice and fast paced. Really like the sequence of near-falls. Didn’t make the most of the no-DQ and all submission eliminations? What gives, man? Just strikes me as odd, that’s all. Francis was Spike’s mentor? Color me clueless. The ending with Cortez was alright.

 

Overall- Don’t get me wrong. It’s just hard to nitpick with such an average match.

 

Work on- Maybe considering more into characters? I’m a huge Crow mark, so might explain that. Oh maybe Spike was put over just a smidgen (haha, I said smidgen) too much?

 

Keep up- Good, solid action.

 

 

Part two coming up!