My fiance wants us to take in a foster kid

[Guest Cerebus]

Ok a little background. We've been engaged about 2 years, getting officially married next month (but we're not having the wedding until God knows when), and we've been living together since the end of May. We decided a long time ago we were going to have kids but all of a sudden she's become really agitated about it. She's been suggesting to me that we take in a foster child for at least a year before we move forward with having our own kids and I'm wary (sp?) about the whole deal.

 

On one hand I have worked quite a bit with disadvantaged kids (was a Big Brother during college in NYC, I'm also a Big Brother now) and I would welcome the idea...but we have too much shit going on right now. I'm still working on recovering more function from my leg, she's starting a job in August, and I'm planning to start grad school as well. I would be happier if we waited at least a year before we took in a foster kid but I can't think of a decent way to tell her since she's become so edgy on the whole deal. Thoughts?

[MrRant 0]

I wouldn't do it if you have shit going on. Chances are they wouldn't let you anyways since there is an indepth screening process.

[sfaJack 0]

Gotta agree with Rant. Seems like a bad idea at this point in time.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

You aren't even married yet. Now isn't the time for that.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

NO NO NO NO NO!

 

I was a foster kid and you do NOT want to take any in.

 

You take those kids in and you might as well put the house in their name.

 

You can't punish them really because you're not allowed to keep them in the house against their wishes. You're not allowed to pull the "Go to bed without supper" card, or anything like that.

 

It can be really cool if you get a good kid but most of these kids have major issues and you don't want to deal with that.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Get a kitty or three...

[Scroby 0]

Wait she wants you to get a foster kid before having your own kids? That doesn't make sense I mean foster kids are not test kids. You can't get one and throw it back you know what I mean? I agree with KKK there and get yourself a cat or a dog or a pet.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

I'd say you guys would be too busy for a foster kid since she'll be working and you'll be rehabbing/grad work. Foster kids can be a hand full but I know you're more than well aware of that if you were/are a big brother.

 

I personally wouldn't want to do it because I would get way to attached to the kid over a course of a year and it would really suck when it's time for them to go.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Kids. Eew.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

cerebrus, if you're really busy at the moment, I'd talk to her and wait until things cool off a bit before going and taking such a big step.

 

If by then you're both 100% (100%) sure about doing this and have considered everything, then do it. You don't want to take a kid in to a new place when he/she might get ignored and you can't focus on him/her as much is required.

 

If neither of you are 100% ready after you've gotten through everything, then you need to talk some more.

[Stephen Joseph 0]

A great friend of mine recently got married and changed jobs at the same time...The stress was a mite too much.

 

Cerebus, I seriously agree with pretty much everyone else that this is not a good idea at this time in your life. You'd be much better served (and her too) when things settle down.

 

It's probably the coming changes that are frightening her into wanting to do this.

[Guest Cerebus]

You guys basically read my thoughts. Things are going very fast for us right now, but I think the problem is she's seen too much damn Oprah or something like that. The problem I have is finding the right way to let her down...she seems pretty agitated about this whole deal like I said before.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Talk to her and tell her that right now is not the right time.

[Ace309 0]

Wait she wants you to get a foster kid before having your own kids? That doesn't make sense I mean foster kids are not test kids. You can't get one and throw it back you know what I mean?

I have nothing to add, but this is worth repeating.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Wait she wants you to get a foster kid before having your own kids? That doesn't make sense I mean foster kids are not test kids. You can't get one and throw it back you know what I mean?

I have nothing to add, but this is worth repeating.

I agree completely, but that might not exactly be the way that she feels, even if it seemed that way.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

You guys basically read my thoughts.

Whenever my better half starts feeling the itch to pop out a kid or four we go to Wal-Mart, and that's all she wrote.

 

The problem I have is finding the right way to let her down.

 

The bedroom isn't enough for her?

 

Also, show her this thread and she'll realize the error of her ways...

[Ripper 0]

Yeah. Just show her this thread.

 

The knowledge that you post on a internet wresting board is enough to deter her from ever wanting to procreate or take on resposibility with you.

 

TRUST me.

 

 

Ripper - Not really having anything for this one since 2004

[Guest Cerebus]

Yeah. Just show her this thread.

 

The knowledge that you post on a internet wresting board is enough to deter her from ever wanting to procreate or take on resposibility with you.

 

TRUST me.

 

 

Ripper - Not really having anything for this one since 2004

Oh she knows...

 

She ALWAYS knows...