The Thread Where I Predict Your Future

[Guest subliminal_animal]

I don't see how that was a pwning. I think you're making it up!

That was the best Kotzenjunge post I've ever read. Even better than the one I admitted to laughing at in one of those deleted New Me threads.

[spiny norman 0]

Do you all want my attention that much?

Would you think less of me if I said yes?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Does anyone think I'll ever finish this?

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Fuck reading back, take a crack at me.

[Kinetic 0]

Just tell me it'll all be over soon, Gene.

[Guest Smues]

I'd like to know how and when I'll die.

 

Will it be by self inflicted gunshot wound or will I jump off of a tall building?

[Maztinho 0]

I'd like to know how and when I'll die.

 

Will it be by self inflicted gunshot wound or will I jump off of a tall building?

 

Self-inflicted gunshot wound while standing on the edge of a tall building the recoil sending you over the edge. Best of both worlds.

[Guest Smues]

I'd like to know how and when I'll die.

 

Will it be by self inflicted gunshot wound or will I jump off of a tall building?

 

Self-inflicted gunshot wound while standing on the edge of a tall building the recoil sending you over the edge. Best of both worlds.

I like it.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

The Great Mazto knows only deaths! He should be The Semi-Great Mazto!

[Copper Feel 0]

Smues will die at the hands of some slow driving lunatic who takes offense to his road rage.

[Maztinho 0]

The Great Mazto knows only deaths! He should be The Semi-Great Mazto!

 

But... but... but...

 

Watch out for hanging pianos.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Lord of the Curry is going to die quietly and loaded with pills in a nursing home bed at the age of 79, surrounded by his four children and their eleven children ranging in age from 6-35. All will want a piece of the pie, and fight bitterly over your possessions for the next five years.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Kinetic will die in his mid fifties, having been on the waiting list for an organ transplant for too long. His fourth wife will collect next to nothing from the insurance company nor his savings, having shelled out nearly every dime to hospital co-pays, alimony, and child support to dashing young drunkards who resent him and only use his death as an excuse to miss work. One of them will go to Paris while on bereavement leave.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Smues. Blood clot. No warning whatsoever at age 64, with a wonderful retirement laid out in front of him.

[Copper Feel 0]

Surprise me.

[Kinetic 0]

Hey, I'm gonna live another 30 years. Four wives!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Oh, it's no surprise.

 

You sir, will live longer than ALL other posters at this messageboard. Expect the reaper sometime in your mid eighties, but you won't find him until you're 106 years old. Your bloodline will include 6 children (you'll outlive 2), 11 grandchildren, a staggering 41 great grandchildren, and 3 great-great-grandchildren before you die sitting in a wheelchair on a sunny porch in an Italian rest home. You'll be married three times, the first two to the same woman. The third will be a career hustler with huge tits that will marry you for money. You'll make your fortune selling specialty batteries to the russian space program. You will have the last child sometime after your 61st birthday. That daughter will be raised by maids and end up marrying a second-tier rap musician, shaming the family frequently in the British tabloids. You will be fully alert, surly, and abusive to the nursing staff.

[The Niggardly King 0]

...

[Copper Feel 0]

Excellent.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Doped up and leaving a path of squabbling behind me. I love it.

[fazzle 0]

Are we still giving out deaths? Can I have one?

[Smartly Pretty 0]

Ooooh, do me!

[Red Baron 0]

I'd like to know how I will go out.

[The Niggardly King 0]

just let me know if it is an alcohol or a drug induced death.

[Matt Young 0]

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Fuck

[The Niggardly King 0]

Hey, Cocksucker... I don't care if your Bears got raped yesterday... I want a fucking future!

[Art Sandusky 0]

I'd rather not know how I die, but a revised future prediction might be cool.

[Guest Smues]

Smues. Blood clot. No warning whatsoever at age 64, with a wonderful retirement laid out in front of him.

I'm going to make it to 64? Wow. That's at least double what I expected.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Are we still giving out deaths? Can I have one?

 

Of course! You'll be taken off of life support when you're 49 years old, five months into a deep coma you'll suffer after being beaten badly in prison. A series of clerical errors will put you in the federal pen for tax evasion. You'll leave behind a relieved ex wife.