Clusterfuck losing matches

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

I was told this masterpiece came in close second. Enjoy.

 

 

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to SWF Clusterfuck, 2005!!"

 

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH!!

 

Wildchild's music hits, he makes his way to the ring to the cheers of the fans. Alan Clark's music hits, he struts to the ring, also to cheers from the fans.

 

* DING DING DING *

 

WC and AC (not to be confused with AC and DC) circle in the ring, running circles around each other.

 

BZZZZZZZT!!

 

Johnny Dangerous!

 

Dangerous runs down to the ring, surprising Alan from behind with a clothesline. WC jumps onto the turnbuckle and flippy-splashes onto Alan. Johnny picks up the bruised Clark and tosses him over the top rope!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Alan Clark

Entry: Second

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Johnny Dangerous

 

Wild and Dangerous high five in the middle of the ring, then hunker down and wait out the minute and a half fo their next opponent.

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Manson's music hits and the bigger man heads to the ring, he slides in and gets immediately hit by WC and Johnny. Manson fights to stand, and when he reaches his feet, gets clotheslined over the top rope!

 

YEEEEEEAAAHH!!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Manson

Entry: Fourth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Johnny Dangerous

 

"Wild and Dangerous are dominating this match, King!"

 

"It's hardly begun, fool."

 

Again, W&D wait.

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Danny Dagda's music hits, he runs to the ring, but runs around to the backside and slides in. WC and Dangerous rush to meet him, but Dagda throws himself over the top rope instead!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Danny Dagda

Entry: Fifth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Danny Dagda

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Sean Davis' music hits and he makes his way to the ring. Sean climbs in and shoulder tosses WC right out of the ring as the Bahama Bomber rushes him!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Wildchild

Entry: First

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

Davis and Dangerous circle, lock up and Sean grabs up Johnny for a big powerbomb, but bombs him right over the top rope!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Johnny Dangerous

Entry: Third

Entrants Eliminated: Alan Clark, Manson

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

"Sean Davis just took out the best Tag Team in the SWF!"

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

Todd Cortez's music hits and the Urban Legend heads to the ring, quick to attack Sean Davis. Davis slugs at Cortez's head a couple times, grabs him in a chokeslam and throws him over the top rope!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Todd Cortez

Entry: Seventh

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

Davis now waits for his next opponent.

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

The Grappler, Charlie Matthews heads to the ring, waving to the fans. He climbs in and a colossal fight ensues. The battle of the behemoths wages on. Headbutt, headbutt, bearhug, fightfightfight!

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

Korgath's music hits and the big battle becomes a three-way! Haymaker, haymaker, headbutt, elbowelbowelbow!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT!!

 

The Boston Strangler's music hits and he ambles to the ring. He steps in almost unnoticed, turns Korgath around and clotheslines him over the top rope!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Dominic Korgath

Entry: Ninth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: The Boston Strangler

 

Matthews notes Strangler's actions and tackles him into the corner, then lifts him up and out of the ring!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: The Boston Stranger

Entry: Tenth

Entrants Eliminated: Dominic Korgath

Eliminated by: Charlie Matthews

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Cross' music hits and he charges the ring. He attacks Sean and the two FSU footballers go at it mercilessly. Right! Left! Right! Left! (Twister, anyone?) Matthews takes the chance to stand back and catch his second wind.

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Landon's music hits and La Cucaracha runs to the ring, sliding in and going straight for Charlie Matthews. Matthews is caught unawares but defends himself against Maddix. The defending CF champ picks up Maddix in a military press, almost dumping him to the outside, but Landon weasels out and hurricanranas the Grappler! Sean's finally had enough of Cross and shows him the exit!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: David Cross

Entry: Eleventh

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Spike's music hits and Hollywood makes his way to the ring. He slides in and dropkicks Matthews as he's about to attack Sean. Davis turns around with a thankful look at Spike and picks up Matthews, locking on a bearhug! Spike goes right after Maddix, attacking him with chops.

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT

 

Sly runs down to the ring, sliding in and mixing it up with Maddix and Spike Jenkins.

 

"Sean Davis still holding that bearhug on Matthews ... I bet the defending Clusterfuck winner has to be a bit embarrassed! He can't get out!"

 

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHH!!

 

The crowd cheers as Maddix sends Sly over the top rope.

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Austin Sly

Entry: Fourteenth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Landon Maddix

 

Spike charges Maddix from behind, clotheslining him over the top rope!

 

BOOOOOOOOO--YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHH!!

 

Spike turns around, thinking he's eliminated Landon, but the former champ has hung onto the top rope and slides back into the ring.

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

Munich's music hits and he runs down to the ring. He picks up Maddix and tries to throw him out again, but gets clobbered by Spike and tumbles over the top rope!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Munich

Entry: Fifteenth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Spike Jenkins

 

BZZZZZZZT!

 

Kaine runs to the ring as his music hits and he attacks Spike with a flurry of cruiser moves. Spike holds his own for a time, but then Maddix comes in from behind and tosses Spike out of the ring!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Spike Jenkins

Entry: Thirteenth

Entrants Eliminated: Munich

Eliminated by: Landon Maddix

 

Kaine and Landon Maddix go at it while Sean holds Matthews still.

 

BZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Ced's music plays and ... he fails to show up. In the ring, Maddix and Kaine fight in one corner while Sean finally bombs Matthews to the mat, then picks him up in a powerbomb and throws him out of the ring!

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Charlie Matthews

Entry: Eighth

Entrants Eliminated: The Boston Strangler

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Kaine

Entry: Sixteenth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Landon Maddix

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Landon Maddix

Entry: Twelfth

Entrants Eliminated: Austin Sly, Spike Jenkins, Kaine

Eliminated by: Sean Davis

 

BZZZZZZT!

 

Stryke's music hits and he charges the ring. Stryke and Sean duke it out, but Davis overpowers Stryke and corners him, beating the everloving crap out of him.

 

BZZZZZZZZT!

 

BOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Max King's music hits and he heads to the ring, entering with arrogant flare. He pulls Sean off of Stryke and bludgeons The Perfect Storm.

 

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

 

Boodshed's music hits and he scampers to the ring. Stryke recovers in enough time to shoulder toss Bloodshed over the top rope.

 

DING!

 

Eliminated: Bloodshed

Entry: Twentieth

Entrants Eliminated: None

Eliminated by: Stryke

 

"And it's a three way match now, folks!"

 

Stryke teams with Max King to fight off Sean Davis, but the big man hasn't been doing enough to work up a sweat. King sees that he won't be able to take the big man down, so he goes after Stryke instead. Already weakened, Stryke stays down after a big slam by King. Max covers.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Broken up by Davis! Sean grabs up the 'superior' King and slugs him in the face. King grabs his nose and staggers back. Davis kicks him in the gut, wrenches him up into a Canadian backbreaker then piledrives the Icon into the mat. Davis hooks the leg for the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

A desperate elbow by Stryke saves the match! Davis stands, grabbing Stryke in a chokehold. Sean lifts up Stryke, then slams him back down on the mat ... then covers Max King again.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

"King kicked out!"

 

Sean growls and rolls King over, straddling his back as the Perfect Storm applies a full Nelson on the Icon. Max screams in pain and gives up to the Avalanche!

 

 

* DING DING DING *

 

"The winner of the 2005 Clusterfuck ... SEEEEAAAAN DAAAAAVISS!!"

 

"F.E." by 40 Below Summer kicks up.

 

BOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Secret Agent 0]

Beautiful.

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

So why didn't I win? I'd like to point out that I was well under the 15k word limit.

[5_moves_of_doom 0]

Well, I like your ending, at any rate.

 

How many people total showed, by the way?

[hhh6294 0]

I believe that Mike threw out a number like Two people...

 

(not including Sarah's BTW, since in his words it wasn't a real match)

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

It's a real match! I worked hard to write all that!

[Ace309 0]

Mike got matches from me, Dace and TNT. Judge got no matches, presumably, since he forwarded nothing along, and Dace's match was Davis's. Mine was Johnny's and TNT's was, obviously, Landon's.

 

I received only Johnny's match. Dace received only Davis's, obviously. I can't speak for the poor saps who drew Landon in their pool.

[Secret Agent 0]

Alright, since I made a big hoopla over it I guess I better show it. Coments would be greatly appreaciated.

 

=======================

 

The lights dim as a single, solitary spotlight shines down into the ring, illuminating the eloquently dressed Funyon to a pop from the crowd. The match they all came to see was upon them and they couldn’t wait to see it!

 

Funyon shuffles the stack of index cards in his hands, making sure he has everything in proper order before raising the microphone to his lips. "Ladies and gentlemen," bellows Funyon. "The following match is the twenty-man over the top rope CLUSTERFUCK BATTLE ROYAL!" The fans blow the roof - this was the match that would make somebody's career and the anticipation was driving them over the edge. "Two wrestlers will start the match," Funyon continues, "and from then on, one man will enter every two minutes in accordance with the number they drew. Eliminations occur from being thrown OVER the top rope with BOTH feet touching the floor. After all twenty participants have entered, and only three men remain, this match will become a triple threat! The first man to gain either a pinfall or submission will win the CLUSTERFUCK, and go on to FROM THE FIRE to face the SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!"

 

The fans quiet down as all heads turn towards the stage, anxious to see who was unfortunate enough to draw number one. Finally, a hiss picks up on the speakers, and then...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"ATTENTION!"

 

 

 

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

 

 

"ALL YOU NIGGAZ!"

 

 

 

 

"ALL YOU BITCHES!"

 

 

 

 

"TIME TO PUT DOWN THE CRISTAL, TIME TO TAKE OFF THE ICE FOR A MINUTE..."

 

 

 

 

"TIME TO THROW A LITTLE MUD IN THIS MOTHERFUCKAAAA!"

 

 

 

"It's Wildchild!" exclaims Pete. The crowd absolutely erupts as "Let's get Dirty" pounds from the speakers, lights shine down on the stage, and Wildchild springs out from behind the curtains! "Of all the people possible I certainly didn't expect him to be the first entrant into this match - talk about a surprise there!"

 

"Introducing entrant NUMBER ONE!" bellows Funyon as Wildchild races down the ramp, slapping hands with isle sitters on both sides of him. "From Morgan's Bluff, Andros, in the Commonwealth of the Bahamas, and weighing two hundred fourteen pounds, he is one half of the REIGNING TAG TEAM CHAMPIOOOOONS... the WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!"

 

The Bahama Bomber slides into the ring and climbs onto the turnbuckle, setting off a flood of flashbulbs as he pumps his fist to the crowd! He climbs down as his music fades, moving to the far corner to wait for the arrival of his first opponent when...

 

 

BOOOOOM!

 

 

Pyro explodes all across the stage and Incubus' "Pardon Me" kicks up, complete with the grinning face of Alan Clark plastered on the SmarkTron!

 

"And now, the number two draw! From Long Beach, California, and weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds... this is ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAN CLAAAAAAAARK!"

 

The fans let out a collective cheer as Clark strolls out from backstage and marches down the ramp, ready to take on the challenge of nineteen other competitors! He waltzes to the edge of the ring and reaches up for the ropes to climb in when...

 

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

 

... The Bahama Bomber races across the ring and dives feet-first towards the ropes, slamming them into Alan's chest with a baseball slide!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

Clark tumbles to the floor seeing stars, "-and Wildchild's getting off to a fast start - keeping Alan off his game before he can even start one!" shouts Pete as the Caribbean Cruiser charges towards the opposite side of the ring, hits the ropes, comes flying back then springs to the top rope...

 

 

"NO! NO! NO! STAY IN THE RING!"

 

 

...But Wildchild bounces off the rope, back into the ring, stopping himself short of diving to the outside as the terrified fans let out a sigh of relief.

 

"That would have been gold," says King, grinning as the Bahaman backpedals away from the ropes. "Wildchild nearly eliminated himself in the first seconds of this match!"

 

“Indeed," agrees Pete, holding his chest while slowly exhaling. "He's going to have a tough time battling his instinct to go to the air with those dazzling moves - Wildchild will need to stay grounded tonight."

 

Clark pushes himself back up to his feet, and finally slides into the ring...

 

"And here we go," says Pete as Clark jumps to his feet and charges in towards Wildchild. He swings at the Bahaman, but it's blocked by a forearm and before he can even make a second attempt the speedier Wildchild unloads with a series of right hands, peppering Clark in the face!

 

 

 

BAP!

 

BAP!

 

BAP!

 

 

 

Those stinging punches stagger the Apostle, and Wildchild grabs him by the arm to whip him across the ring, but Clark digs his feet into the canvas and reverses, sending the Bahaman for the ride instead! Wildchild hits the ropes and rebounds as Clark ducks down, looking for a back body drop...

 

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

 

...And gets kicked in the face! Clark stumbles backwards with his hands to his face and Wildchild heads back to the ropes. He rockets off them, picking up some serious steam as he zips towards the Apostle... and runs into a stiff, diving clothesline!

 

"What a hit!" shouts King as Alan gets back to his feet, and heads straight for the far ropes. "Wildchild used his speed to gain the advantage from the start, but he crumbles the first time Clark nails him with a little muscle."

 

Hot off the ropes, Clark comes tearing back across the ring, just as Wildchild stumbles to his feet only to get flattened with a second lariat!

 

"This is going to *have* to be Clark's approach against Wildchild," says Pete as Alan stumbles forward, shaking the burning sensation from his arm. "He needs to keep playing the strength card against the Bahama Bomber - wear him down then toss him out of the ring without so much as a struggle."

 

Pete's words seem to predict Clark's actions - pulling Wildchild up to his feet he sends a kick into the Bahaman's midsection that doubles him over before slapping on a reverse headlock to drop back for a DDT!

 

"But nobody's home!" shouts Pete as Wildchild reaches back and grabs onto the middle rope - his head popping out from under Alan's arm when the Apostle drops back and he goes crashing into the mat alone! Wildchild quickly takes advantage, dropping a quick elbow into Clark's sternum before pulling him back up to his feet and then whipping him across the ring. Alan hits the ropes and rebounds, then swings his forearm out - hoping to catch Wildchild by surprise with another lariat, but WC bellies out, avoiding the blast and Clark keeps going for the opposite side of the ring as the fans cry out for more! Wildchild pops back up to his feet then quickly jumps up, sticking both feet out...

 

 

 

 

 

...But Alan hooks his arms around the ropes, and like the Apostle before him, Wildchild goes down to the mat alone. Alan charges forward as Wildchild pops back up to his feet, "-and you'd think by now he'd try something else other than a clothesline," says King as once more Wildchild dives out of the way then rolls to his feet, doubling Clark over with a bare foot in the gut just as the Apostle spins back around to face him then following through with a guillotine leg drop!

 

 

 

WHAM!

 

"Caribbean Cutter~!" calls Pete. "Wildchild ended that exchange with the first big hit of the match!"

 

Clark dazedly pushes up to his hands and knees - he can't stop now, but as he gets half way back up he suddenly finds his arms intertwined with Wildchild's. The fans let out a booming cheer, not even taking note of the Official Clusterfuck Timer winding down, as Wildchild pulls Clark into his reverse head-scissors, rolls over to put Alan to his back then lifts up and sits out...

 

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

 

Drilling Clark, headfirst, into the mat with the Wild Ride, "-and Alan Clark could very well be out cold!" shouts Pete. "And not a second too soon; the third man is almost here!"

 

Wildchild can hear the crowd counting down - "SIX!" "FIVE!" - time was of the essence! He pulls Alan's limp body up and with every ounce of effort in his body Wildchild rushes the Apostle towards the edge of the ring...

 

 

 

"FOUR!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...HEAVES him over the top rope...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREE!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND SENDS ALAN CRASHING TO THE FLOOR - BOTH FEET TOUCHING DOWN!

 

 

 

******************

Alan Clark

ENTERED: 2nd

LEFT: 1st

TIME IN: 1:58

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild

******************

 

 

 

"TWO!"

 

 

 

 

 

"He's out of here! Alan Clark has just been eliminated from the Clusterfuck!"

 

 

 

 

 

"ONE!"

 

 

 

Wildchild spins back around, furiously trying to regain his breath - "He's in no shape to take on the next challenger to this event!"

 

 

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"JOHNNY DANGEROUS!"

 

"RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

 

"Why God, why?" cries King. "Why do you spite me!?"

 

"It's the Barracuda!" shouts Pete, completely ignoring his broadcast partner as "After the Flesh" hits to a roar of cheers and Johnny struts out from backstage. "Talk about luck of the draw for Wildchild!"

 

Johnny stops at the top of the ramp and just looks out at the crowd... and then into the ring where the lone man - his tag team partner - stands, "-and I think Wildchild is thanking the good Lord above right about now," says Pete.

 

“He won’t be thanking the good Lord for long,” replies King. “Johnny Dangerous has been to the top of the mountain once, and I’m betting that he’s hungry to go back. Wildchild may be in for more than he bargained for!” Johnny slides into the ring and looks over at his tag team partner. Wildchild extends his arm in friendship…

 

 

SWAT!

 

 

… But the Barracuda slaps it away!

 

 

 

* GASP! *

 

 

The crowd gasps collectively at Johnny’s refusal to shake his best friend’s hand. Wildchild, for his part, looks at Johnny in astonishment, only for the Barracuda to wave his hands in front of his waist in response.

 

“I told you, Pete,” laughs King. “Johnny wants the strap! And he’s going to run over his tag team partner if he has to in order to get it!” Johnny and Wildchild engage in a collar-and-elbow tie-up, before Johnny takes advantage with a side headlock. Wildchild guides his partner back towards the edge of the ring, and then uses the ropes to help launch him across the ring…

 

…but Johnny knocks him to the canvas as he rebounds with a running shoulderblock! Johnny runs towards the opposing set of ropes, and the Bahama Bomber flattens his body against the canvas as his partner rebounds. Wildchild immediate springs to his feet as Johnny bounces off the ropes a second time and leapfrogs into the air, flipping backwards to deliver his patented backflip kick…

 

CRASH!

 

… But Johnny hangs onto the ropes, causing Wildchild to crash face-first to the canvas. The Barracuda swoops in, pulling Wildchild up into referee’s position and quickly shifting to a waistlock…

 

…but the Human Hurricane sits out. Wildchild underhooks Johnny’s left arm as he rolls to his knees and then breaks the waistlock, pulling Johnny towards him as he stands up and whipping him back into the ropes. Wildchild hooks the Barracuda’s arm as he bounces off the ropes and lifts him off of the canvas with a hiptoss…

 

…but Johnny demonstrates his agility, twisting in midair and landing on his feet. He scoops his partner up in a Scoop Slam, but as he prepares to bodyslam him, the Bahama Bomber grabs him by the arm on the way down, pulling him over in a modified armdrag! Johnny and Wildchild nip up simultaneously and turn to face each other in a standoff!

 

“What an impressive exchange that was,” shouts Pete, as the crowd voices their approval. “Looking at these two match moves with each other, you can really see what makes Wild and Dangerous such an excellent team; they really know each other very well!” Johnny and Wildchild meet up in another collar-and-elbow, and Johnny once again shifts into a side headlock. This time, Wildchild doesn’t even back all the way to the edge of the ring, but simply pushes his partner across the ring. The Bahama Bomber drops to his back and plants his feet into his partner’s midsection as Johnny bounces off the ropes, launching him overhead with a monkey flip. Both men tie up once more, this time with Wildchild taking control with a side headlock. Johnny pushes Wildchild towards the ropes and drops down to the canvas to deliver a monkey flip, but the Tropical Tumbler cartwheels safely out of the way…

 

 

WHAM!

 

… And drills him between the eyes with a fistdrop!

 

“Whoa!” shouts Pete, as Johnny pops to his feet. “Wildchild popped his own partner in the face with that fistdrop!”

 

“And look at the look in his eyes,” adds King, noting the fiery expression on the Barracuda’s face. “I don’t’ think that he expected Wildchild to do that to him!”

 

“And he’s not happy about it,” finishes Pete, the Timer begins to wind down:

 

 

FIVE!

 

FOUR!

 

THREE!

 

Johnny shoves Wildchild backwards with both hands, and the Caribbean responds in kind!

 

TWO!

 

“Whoa!” exclaims Pete. “Let’s hope that this confrontation doesn’t have any long-term ramifications for the Tag Team Champions!”

 

 

ONE!

 

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

“Crusher Destroyer” begins playing as Manson heads down to the ring to a mixed crowd reaction.

 

“Here comes Manson,” says King, noticing Wildchild and Johnny still bickering inside the ring. “And with Wild and Dangerous distracted, this could be a golden opportunity for Manson to get rid of both of them!” As Manson enters the ring, Wildchild and Johnny are standing nose-to-nose. Seizing the opportunity, Manson grabs both by the back of the head…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… And smashes them both together with a double noggin knocker! Manson races towards the ropes as Wildchild and Johnny stagger away from each other…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And knocks them both down with a double clothesline!

 

 

“What brilliant thinking by Manson,” says King. “He might not get a better shot at eliminating the Tag Team Champions than right now!” Manson pulls Wildchild to his feet and traps him in a waistlock before lifting him off the ground and planting him with a Backdrop suplex! He then snatches Johnny off the canvas and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring, and trapping him in a bearhug as he rebounds, spinning around sharply on his heel…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And driving Johnny into the mat with a tremendous spinebuster!

 

“I can’t believe how well Manson is doing in this,” marvels King. “He’s dominating the Tag Team Champions!”

 

“I didn’t know he had it in him, King,” agrees Pete. “Manson is all bid’ness in there right now!” Manson grabs Wildchild by the hair and drags him over to the edge of the ring, scooping the Caribbean Cruiser up in his arms and lifts him over the top rope!

 

“He’s got Wildchild up!” exclaims King. “Wildchild’s about to be eliminated!” Manson has Wildchild’s entire body hanging over the top rope, but Wildchild braces himself with his hands…

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And Johnny drives a running kneelift into Manson’s back, causing him to let go of his tag team partner. Wildchild crawls back underneath the bottom rope as Johnny pounds on Manson’s back.

 

“Well, despite the earlier friction between Johnny and Wildchild, it appears that the Tag Team Champions still want to look out for each other,” notes Pete. Manson regains the advantage over the Barracuda with a heavy kneelift and whips him across the ring. Unbeknownst to Manson, however, Wildchild scoots behind him on his knees, elevating his back as Johnny explodes off the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And leaps towards Manson feet-first, blasting him with a running dropkick! Manson, caught off-balance by Wildchild’s “school boy” tactic, is unable to brace himself against the impact, and falls hard! Wild and Dangerous pull Manson to his feet and then each lift him up by one side before carrying him to the edge of the ring and dumping him over the side!

 

 

******************

Manson

ENTERED: 4th

LEFT: 2nd

TIME IN: 1:39

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous

******************

 

“Manson looked like he had a good chance to go far,” says Pete, “but he had the bad timing to have to start his quest against the Tag Team Champions!”

 

“Wild and Dangerous worked together to get rid of Manson,” notes King, as Johnny shoves Wildchild again, “but it looks like there could still be some lingering hard feelings.” Wildchild responds to Johnny’s shove by pointing a warning finger in his face!

 

“I tell you what,” says Pete, “we won’t know until a little further down the line, but this match could have serious long-term ramifications for the fate of the Tag Team Titles!”

 

“Well, the lure of the World Title will do that to a lot of people,” replies King. “We know that Johnny wants another taste of the big time, and although we’ve heard Wildchild say in the past that he has little interest in the World Title, he also has a very successful track record against many of the most recent World Champions; maybe he’s thinking to himself, ‘if those guys can do it, why not me?’”

 

Johnny and Wildchild get back into each other’s faces as the Timer begins to wind down:

 

FOUR!

 

THREE!

 

TWO!

 

ONE!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

Anti-Flag’s “Tearing Everybody Down” begins to play as the monstrous Danny Dagda makes his way down towards the ring! Wildchild and Johnny, apparently oblivious to Dagda’s imminent arrival, continue arguing in the center of the ring.

 

“Wild and Dangerous appear to have not learned from their history, as Danny Dagda is set to hit the ring,” crows King. “And you know what they say about those who don’t learn from their history!” Dagda takes his time walking down towards the ring, enjoying the show.

 

“And as you can see, King,” agrees Pete, “Dagda’s in no kind of hurry to make it to ringside; he might even wait and let Wildchild and Johnny try to take each other out!”

 

Dagda stands outside the ring for close to a minute, waiting for Johnny and Wildchild to start fighting it out, but they just keep shoving each other back and forth. Finally, the monster from Newark takes the slow trek up the steel stairs to the ring apron. He walks towards the center of the ring and steps over the top rope one leg at a time to enter the ring…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… WHERE HE IS PROMPTLY SENT FLYING BACK OUT, FALLING CLUMSILY OVER THE TOP ROPE VIA A DOUBLE SUPERKICK!

 

“Super Chicklet Buster!” screams Pete. “Wild and Dangerous nailed Danny Dagda with a Super Chicklet Buster! It took him longer to get up the steps than it did to get eliminated!”

 

Wildchild and Johnny look at each other once more, and their fierce countenances suddenly give way to wide, satisfied grins.

 

“What is the meaning of this,” cries King, as Johnny and Wildchild high-five and low-five each other in the center of the ring. “Was this all a setup?”

 

“It appears that way, King,” answers Pete, as the Tag Team Champions run towards the ropes, raising their arms in the air as they incite the crowd to cheer. “And if the World Tag Team Champions are truly working together here in the Clusterfuck, the other fifteen competitors are going to have to overcome near impossible odds if they want to win!”

 

******************

Danny Dagda

ENTERED: 5th

LEFT: 3rd

TIME IN: 0:01

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous

******************

 

“Wild and Dangerous had better not get too comfortable celebrating in the ring,” says King, “because there are still fifteen guys that they’ve got to get past!” The Tag Team Champions lead the crowd in counting down along with the Timer:

 

FIVE!

 

FOUR!

 

THREE!

 

TWO!

 

ONE!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

 

A loud clap of thunder echoes through the arena. "F.E." by 40 Below Summer kicks up and a hush falls over the crowd as the enforcer of Revolution Zero makes his way out to the ring.

 

“And here comes the Perfect Storm,” says Pete. “It looks like bid’ness is about to pick up!” As soon as Davis climbs into the ring, Wild and Dangerous leap into action, pounding on him with forearms that nearly send the Perfect Storm falling backwards out of the ring! But the Enforcer fights back, sending both Wildchild and Johnny tumbling to the canvas with a fierce double clothesline! He then picked them both up off of the canvas by the throats…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Before driving them back to the mat with a ferocious double-chokeslam!

 

“Davis appears to be succeeding where Manson failed,” notes Pete.

 

“Well, to be fair,” replies King, “Davis is a much stronger and more tenacious opponent than Manson is. And he also has a better idea of what it takes to beat Wild and Dangerous than Manson does.” Davis scoops Dangerous up and slams him to the mat before pulling Wildchild to his feet and trapping him in a standing headscissors. The Perfect Storm wraps both hands around Wildchild’s waist and snatches him into the air…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Smashing the Bahama Bomber on top of his own partner with a snap powerbomb!

 

“Beautiful powerbomb by Sean Davis,” marvels Pete. Sean pulls Wildchild back to his feet and leads him over to the corner, slamming him headfirst into the turnbuckle! He walks back over to Johnny and jerks him abruptly off the mat and overhead with a military press.

 

“There’s nowhere for Johnny to go but down,” crows King. Sean carries Johnny over towards the edge of the ring, but before he can get the Barracuda over the top, Wildchild dives in behind him with a chop block! The Perfect Storm buckles and pitches backwards, enabling Johnny to fall back towards the center of the ring. Davis rolls up to his hands and knees, but Wildchild knows he can’t afford to let this towering beast back up and he drops an elbow into the back of Sean’s neck, and then another, beating the Perfect Storm into the mat! Feeling that he has Davis reeling, Wildchild pulls the big man up with an arm wrench then whips him across the ring…

 

 

…but Sean reverses… only instead of sending Wildchild to the ropes he pulls the Bahama Bomber in and BLASTS him with a short-arm lariat!

 

“Sean Davis is not only holding Wild and Dangerous at bay,” comments Pete, “but he’s tearing them apart!”

 

The crowd boos furiously, and it brings a smile to Davis’ face - he knows he has to be doing good to get this kind of reaction. He finally turns back to his two opponents as the Clusterfuck Timer winds down once again to…

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

Fabolous' "Breathe" starts to pulse over the speakers as the arena is bathed in green lights, “-and the Urban Legend is the number seven man!” shouts Pete as a round of pyro blasts off around the stage and Todd Cortez storms out from backstage to a tremendous ovation, “-and Todd Cortez is the second member of Martial Law to enter this match, a group that’s main purpose is to destroy Revolution Zero, but I wonder if he may work with Davis to eliminate the Tag Champions from this thing!”

 

Cortez works his way down the ramp and slides into the ring, just as Davis pulls Wildchild back up… and he rushes in from behind and clubs Davis in the back!

 

“I think we can toss aside that working with Revolution Zero notion,” grumbles King as Sean is knocked to his knees and Todd lays into him with a barrage of forearms, beating the Perfect Storm to the canvas! Davis tries to roll out of the way and avoid further abuse, only to get a leg dropped across his chest courtesy of Wildchild, stopping him in his path! “Now it’s a three on one affair – total bullshit!”

 

“More like a temporary truce,” counters Pete. “Together they can work towards eliminating the greater evil – afterwards they can see who’s better between the three of them.”

 

Cortez and Wildchild pull Davis up by his arms and then step forward, whipping him across the ring and into the corner post! Sean smacks into the turnbuckle with a sickening thud, and then Todd rushes in, dives forward with a handspring and nails the Storm with an elbow, getting an “OOOOOOH!” from the crowd. Davis is nearly seeing stars and he staggers forward, only to get taken across the ring a second time…

 

CRACK!

 

…And runs straight into a super kick from the Barracuda, dropping him like a bad habit!

 

Johnny stops then points towards the roof of the MCI Center, and the crowd goes wild! Wildchild’s eyes widen, almost questioning Johnny’s suggestion, but the Barracuda reassures him with a nod and Wildchild quickly goes to the turnbuckle…

 

“Oh no, what do these guys have planned now?” questions Pete as Johnny calls Cortez over to help him pull Davis up. Together, they drag Sean up to his feet then pull him into a side headlock before draping an arm of each of their shoulders…

 

“No way – they couldn’t possibly!”

 

…but they reach down, grabbing Davis by his tights before lifting him up with a vertical suplex and stalling…

 

…the crowd gets excited…

 

… and Wildchild springs off the post, wrapping his arms and legs around the suspended Perfect Storm’s body and pushing him off of Johnny and Cortez’s shoulders…

 

 

WHAAAAAM!

 

 

… Planting his head into the canvas with an elevated sitout piledriver!

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“OH MY GOD!” roars King “THAT’S THE SAME MOVE THEY USED TO RETIRE TODD ROYAL – REST IN PEACE! ALL THREE OF THEM SHOULD BE SUSPENDED FOR DOING THAT!”

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

The crowd cheers ecstatically – having only seen this move once before it was a definite treat to see it again! As far as Davis goes, its lights out and he doesn’t move an inch! Wildchild and Johnny drag him up with every ounce of effort they can muster and heave him against the top rope, before the Urban Legend comes in from behind and shoves Davis the rest of the way over and he goes straight to the floor!

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

******************

Sean Davis

ENTERED: 6th

LEFT: 4th

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Todd Cortez

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous, and Todd Cortez

******************

 

“Bastards!” curses King. “They knew that they couldn’t fight Davis off alone so they teamed up to rob him of a title shot!”

 

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” replies Pete. “Why not combine you’re strength to eliminate the biggest threat thus far so you can have a chance yourself?”

 

“It’s just not fair, that’s why!” sulks King as Wildchild and Johnny immediately reach down and each grab a leg of Cortez then flip him over the top rope, and out of the ring, catching him by total surprise!

 

“Bastards!” curses King. “They knew that they couldn’t fight Davis off alone so they teamed up to rob him of a title shot!”

 

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” replies Pete. “Why not combine your strength to eliminate the biggest threat thus far, so you can have a better chance yourself?”

 

“It’s just not fair, that’s why!”

 

Todd raises his arms to the cheering crowd, and then turns around as the Clusterfuck Timer begins to run down and…

 

 

WHAM!

 

WILDCHILD LEAPS UP TO BLAST CORTEZ UNDERNEATH THE CHIN AS JOHNNY SIMULTANEOUSLY DROPS TO THE CANVAS AND RIPS HIS LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM WITH A VICIOUS LEG SWEEP!

 

“Total Elimination!” exclaims Pete. “Wild and Dangerous just knocked Cortez silly with Total Elimination!”

 

“It’s a damned double-cross,” barks King. “They got Cortez to handle their light work, and then dispatched him!”

 

“Well,” replies Pete, “anybody that knows the history between Wild and Dangerous and Hollywood Boulevard should have seen that coming; you didn’t really think that these three were going to get along, did you?” Wildchild and Johnny pull Cortez to his feet and whip him across the ring, thrusting their legs sharply as he bounces off the ropes…

 

 

CRACK!

 

… And nailing the Urban Legend with a Super Chicklet Buster to the chin, sending him stumbling back and over the top rope to the floor as the Timer runs out!

 

******************

Todd Cortez

ENTERED: 7th

LEFT: 5th

TIME IN: 2:00

ELIMINATED: Sean Davis

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous

******************

 

“I *knew* he shouldn’t have trusted them!” cries King. “Those backstabbers used Cortez then dispatched off him when he was no longer useful!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

BOOOOOOOM!

 

A pyrotechnic eruption precedes Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” as it begins booming out of the speakers, and the MCI Center goes COMPLETELY INSANE!

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“HOLY SHIT!” exclaims Pete, unsure if he’s hearing this right, but when Charlie Matthews stomps out onto the stage he knows it’s true! “GRAPPLER IS HERE! CHARLIE MATTHEWS HAS RETURNED TO THE MATCH HE WON LAST YEAR!”

 

The two men in the ring turn to see what’s headed their way, and when they see Matthews their eyes widen to roughly the size of dinner plates with their mouths gaping wide open – they can’t believe it! Just when they eliminated one big threat here comes yet another!

 

“It looks like Johnny and Wildchild might have jumped the gun with that last elimination,” Pete says, “it might have been wise to keep Cortez in there against Matthews.”

 

Wild and Dangerous brace themselves as Charlie stomps up the steel steps – they know they have better odds of taking this one on alone than leaving an odd man in that could possibly turn on them at a moments notice. However, Matthews doesn’t enter just yet – it’s been too long since he heard the fans cheering for him and he holds his arm out to them as they chant his name:

 

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

 

“Will you just *listen* to this crowd,” marvels Pete. “What an ovation for Charlie Matthews here in Washington D.C.!”

 

Finally, Charlie steps through the ropes and into the ring, slowly walking into the middle of the ring as the Tag Champs move to encircle him. He swivels his head back and forth, keeping his eyes on both men… but then it’s Grappler who suddenly lunges forward, kicking Wildchild in the gut as Johnny heads across the ring, hits the ropes and comes rocketing back! Charlie sees him coming out of the corner of his eye and he turns towards the Barracuda with open arms; scooping Johnny out of mid-air in an attempted body press and then drops back to send Dangerous flying high overhead!

 

“Johnny lands just shy of the ropes,” notes Pete. “A little more ‘umph’ to that and Charlie could have just eliminated the Barracuda from the Clusterfuck!”

 

Charlie kips back up to his feet after the big move, getting another big pop from the crowd… and then Wildchild dives in from behind, tackling Matthews’ right leg to send Grappler crashing down on his back! This time it’s the Bahama Bomber who springs up to his feet and he grabs Grappler’s right leg, just as he tries to get up on his knees, and spikes Charlie’s knee into the canvas, getting a wail of pain from Matthews’ lips!

 

“Come on, Charlie,” coaches King, “get back up – you can survive a handicapped match for another few seconds!”

 

Wildchild reaches for Charlie’s leg again, but Matthew’s rips his leg out of his grasps and pushes up to his feet. Undeterred, Wildchild nails Charlie with a punch when he finally stands…only to get a backhand in reply… and only for Charlie to get nailed by Dangerous in the chest, right in the sternum, with a vicious Shotei palmstrike that sends him staggering into the ropes!

 

“How can anybody compete when Wild and Dangerous keep on trying to overwhelm everyone in this match!?” King furiously questions. Johnny grabs his legs and pulls them off the mat, suspending Matthews on the top rope by his chest as Wildchild tears across the ring, hits the ropes, springs back, leap frogs over Johnny’s head and comes crashing down across Grappler’s back to complete the Slam Dance! The crowd roars with cheers then turns their attention to the precious clock, counting down with it!

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

Grave Digger's "Demon's Day" hits, as the massive form of Dominic Korgath steps from behind the curtains to an enormous boo! The Grave Digger pays them no heed, as usual, his only focus is on this match and winning his shot at the World Title, and he saunters down the ramp.

 

“Bid’ness is about to pick up,” says Pete as Johnny and Wildchild struggle to flip Grappler over the rope before Korgath gets into the ring. They finally succeed getting him over, but Charlie holds on and lands on the apron, just as Korgath storms into the ring! The Tag chaps are left with no option but to abort Operation Hoss Control™ and they break to take on the Big Demon!

 

Like Davis before him, Korgath tries to score a quick hit on the Tag Champs with a double clothesline, but they’re wiser this time and duck then simultaneously smack the Big Demon with punches to the face! He stumbles back, but the punches serve to do nothing more than anger Korgath and he swings both arms out for another double clothesline, and this time he hits it!

 

“That’s the ticket!” King delightfully shouts, as both members of Wild and Dangerous hit the mat. The Big Demon stoops down to pull Johnny up, just as Grappler steps back in the ring, zooms in from behind and…

 

“OH MY GOD, NO!”

 

…slaps on a side headlock around Korgath’s head!

 

“I told you he’d try to bore somebody out of the ring,” says King as Matthews clinches down as tight as he can. Powerful is the Big Demon though, and he pulls Grappler back with him into the ropes then uses the momentum coming off them to shove Charlie away! Matthews keeps going, heading clear across the ring and then comes back off the ropes as Korgath charges towards him, looking to plant a big boot into Charlie’s kisser…

 

 

 

…But Grappler dodges to the side and instead grabs Korgath with the, “-REAR NAKED CHOKE~!” exclaims Pete as Charlie locks the move in, complete with the body scissors to drag the Big Demon down to the mat! “Obviously, Grappler’s going for the wear down approach on Korgath – avoiding any powerful exchanges of moves!”

 

“What the hell else is new with Charlie Matthews,” King scornfully adds. “He’s always has gone for the wear down approach!”

 

Charlie keeps his hold locked in as the Big Demon struggles intently for a moment… then starts to calm down…

 

 

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

 

 

…and the Big Demon’s soul seems to start fading…

 

 

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

 

 

…Matthews continues to choke the life out of the Big Demon as Wildchild and Dangerous finish gathering all their bearings up…

 

 

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

 

 

Johnny starts to head towards Grappler and Korgath, but Wildchild grabs him by the arm and pulls him back…

 

 

“GRAP-PULL-ER!”

 

 

“That’s right, let Grappler do all the dirty work for you, you Chicken-shits,” growls King.

 

“It’s smarter for them to hang back,” replies Pete. “Right now these two need to conserve all the energy they can. Let the two big guys wear each other out, and then come in and strike!”

 

However, seemingly as if to counter Longdogger’s suggestions, Grappler lets go of Korgath, leaving him to wallow on the canvas. He charges at Johnny and fakes a left hook, while the crowd begins to count the final seconds before the next entrance.

 

“THREE!”

 

Dangerous bites, ducking down to avoid the blast only to get a knee to the midsection, doubling the Agent over!

 

“TWO!”

 

Charlie pulls Dangerous in, looking for a Wake up Call but Wildchild leaps to the middle ropes right next to him and springs off…

 

“ONE!”

 

…wrapping both legs around Matthews’ neck before dropping back with a hurricanrana to send Grappler tumbling across the ring!

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

Suddenly, “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult begins to play. The fans in the MCI Center go ballistic as the Boston Strangler’s music begins to play.

 

“Is that who I think it is?” asks Pete.

 

“It can’t be,” replies King. “He’s retired… isn’t he?”

 

Oh, but it is, King! All action stops in the ring as the former World Heavyweight Champion steps out from behind the curtain and heads down the ramp!

 

“It IS him!” shouts Pete. “It’s Strangler! Strangler’s the next competitor in the Clusterfuck!” The second Strangler enters the ring, Korgath steps up, rushing towards the former World Champion, his arm cocked back to deliver a hammer blow, but Strangler blocks it with his left forearm, and then wraps his massive right hand around the Demon’s throat! Before Korgath can even react, Strangler snatches him off of the canvas and turns towards the edge of the ring…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… DUMPING THE DEMON OVER THE TOP ROPE AND DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A FEARSOME CHOKESLAM!

 

“Holy crap!” shrieks Pete. “Strangler doesn’t waste any time! He just Plunged Dominic Korgath out of the ring!”

 

******************

Dominic Korgath

ENTERED: 9th

LEFT: 6th

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Strangler

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous, Charlie Matthews, and Strangler

******************

 

Strangler looks across the ring at Charlie Matthews, who stares back at him. Wildchild tries to take advantage of the distraction, sneaking up behind Strangler as Johnny creeps behind Grappler…

 

 

WHAM!

 

BAM!

 

But Charlie and Strangler turn the tables on the Tag Team Champions, each dropping their would-be attackers with huge right hands!

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“Charlie Matthews and the Boston Strangler stand alone in the ring,” says Pete. “Bid’ness is DEFINITELY about to pick up!”

 

“We’re getting double our money’s worth,” agrees King. “And I’ll tell you what; a year ago, this match up would have been a main event, anywhere in the country!”

 

“You can feel the electricity in this arena!” shouts Strangler, over the roar of the crowd. “They’re on their feet here in the MCI Center!” Strangler and Grappler storm across the ring towards each other… AND JUST START DROPPING BOMBS!”

 

WHAM!

BAM!

WHAM!

BAM!

WHAM!

BAM!

 

Strangler takes advantage with a kneelift to the midsection and grabs Grappler by the wrist, whipping him across the ring. Matthews lowers his shoulder into Strangler as he bounces off the ropes…

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And it’s like a brick wall hitting a brick wall, as neither man moves! Grappler backs away towards the opposing set of ropes, slamming into Strangler at what passes for full speed for him… and again, neither man moves. Grappler runs back to the ropes, and this time Superstation runs after him, his arm raised to deliver a clothesline, but Matthews shows a surprising display of speed, ducking underneath the clothesline and running back to the far side of the ring. He charges full-bore at Strangler and rises off the canvas!

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… Smashing Strangler in the chest with a running high knee! Strangler staggers backwards against the ropes, and Charlie rushes towards him, trying to put him out of the ring!

 

“Matthews has big Strangler reeling,” says Pete. “This could be a short night for the Superstation!” Wild and Dangerous get back to their feet and, rush towards the edge of the ring, but instead of helping Charlie get rid of Strangler, they leap into the air…

 

WHACK!

 

… And blast Matthews in the back with a double-dropkick as the timer runs out:

 

 

Grappler collides with Strangler’s chest and falls backwards into the ring, which allows Strangler to push himself back into the ring. Wildchild and Johnny run over to pull Charlie to his feet, whipping him across the ring.

 

 

Matthews raises his arms as he bounces off the ropes to deliver a double-clothesline, an attempt that the Tag Team Champions avoid easily…

 

 

THWACK!

 

 

“Wild and Dangerous managed to avoid that double-clothesline by Grappler Matthews,” shouts Pete, “but they got caught by Strangler!” Strangler pulls both men to their feet and then rams their head together with a double noggin-knocker, leaving them to the mercy of the canvas to go back to Matthews as the timer runs out:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

“Back on Earth” by OZZY kicks up, “-and it’s Cross! David Cross is the eleventh man,” announces Pete. “The former Tag Champion has returned here at the Clusterfuck – what a night for returning superstars! Who do you think HE’S going to side with, King?”

 

“I have a feeling that just about everybody is going to side AGAINST Matthews and Grappler,” replies King. “With Sean Davis and Korgath eliminated, those two are, far and away, the largest competitors remaining!”

 

“And speaking of Sean Davis,” adds Pete, “we’ve just received word that he’s been taken to General Hospital in downtown Washington DC, where he is being treated, and will be held at least overnight for observation!” Cross slides into the ring and surveys the damage before deciding that his wisest course of action would be to attack the worn-down Tag Team Champions. He first walks over to Wildchild as the Caribbean is getting to his knees, keeping him down on the mat with a heavy boot onto the back! He then walks over to the Barracuda and raises his foot…

 

 

CRACK!

 

… Knocking the Barracuda down with a devastating Big Boot!

 

“David Cross wasting no time making an impact in this match,” says King.

 

“Well, that’s the way you have to do it,” agrees Pete. “You don’t want to let that ring fill up; get as many people out as you can, as quickly as you can!” Cross pulls Johnny to his feet by the hair and drags him over to the edge of the ring, lifting him up to toss him over the top rope, but the recovering Wildchild slams into his back with a double axe-handle blow! The Tropical Tumbler spins him around and whips him across the ring, but Cross reverses easily. Wildchild explodes off the ropes, extending his body to deliver a cross-body block, but Cross snatches him out of the air and begins to walk towards the edge of the ring.

 

“Hah,” snorts King. “Clown-boy’s high-flying is about to catch up with him. He tried to get Cross with some of that flip-floppery, and now Cross is going to eliminate him from the Clusterfuck!” Cross reaches the edge of the ring and leans over the side to dump Wildchild over the top, but the Bahama Bomber wraps both arms and legs around the top rope, clinging on for dear life. As Cross struggles to eliminate him, the Barracuda charges across the ring to make the save, clotheslining David in the back of the head! Cross tilts over the top rope, but does not fall out, bracing himself with both arms. His distraction, however, does allow Wildchild enough time to get back into the ring, and the Caribbean Cruiser crawls over into a corner to catch his breath as his partner continues to assault Cross.

 

“I cannot stand those two,” snaps King. They make me sick!”

 

“Oh, for God’s sake,” sighs Pete. “What is it this time?”

 

“Well,” replies King, “it should be obvious; they aren’t keeping with the spirit of this match; it’s supposed to be every man for himself, and those two are CLEARLY conspiring with each other to at least make it to the end!”

 

“Well, that may be true,” concedes Longdogger, “but I don’t really think that it’s something that you can *blame* on them. I mean, when tag team partners are competing in a battle royal at the same time, it can be hard to overcome the urge to want to team up with your partner.”

 

“But that gives them an unfair advantage!” whines King.

 

“But again,” repeats Pete, “that’s not their fault, King. There’s nothing in the rules preventing any of the other competitors from working together; it just so happens that most other guys take the whole ‘every man for himself’ concept a little too seriously!” Back in the ring, Cross stuns Johnny with a headbutt and kicks him towards the corner as the Timer runs out:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

 

“PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!”

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“It’s Maddix!” shouts Pete. “The former World Champion drew number twelve!” “Megalomaniac” by Incubus hits, and Landon Maddix steps from behind the curtain, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side! Megan follows Landon down to the ring, but once they reach ringside, she is ordered back to the dressing room, just as were all the other managers. Landon slides into the ring and makes a beeline for Johnny Dangerous, assaulting him with stiff kicks to the ribs!

 

“And look at Maddix going to work on Johnny Dangerous,” notes King. “He didn’t waste any time, either; he went right after Johnny!”

 

“Well, there’s definitely no love lost between those two,” agrees Pete, as Johnny fights his way to his feet. “Both these men are former World Champions, and they had a hell of a feud over the ICTV Title last year; obviously, old wounds open up easily in an environment like this!”

 

“Absolutely,” adds King. “Just look at what happened earlier between Wild and Dangerous and Todd Cortez!” David Cross, left to his own devices, elects to interject himself into the conflict between Strangler and Charlie Matthews. He stalks across the ring and slams a double axe-handle into Grappler’s back as he is fighting to get Strangler out of the ring, and Cross’s distraction allows Strangler the purchase to return to the safety of the canvas, as a furious Charlie Matthews turns around to face Cross.

 

“Uh-oh,” says King. “I think Cross may have made the mistake of his life!”

 

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

 

Grappler attacks David Cross with a fiery intensity, smashing him in the face with heavy right hands! He grabs Cross by the wrist and whips him across the ring, wrapping his massive arms around David’s waist and trapping him in his dreaded Bearhug!

 

“Now what’s the idea with the Bearhug,” wonders King. “This ain’t a submission match!” As if to answer King’s question, Matthews leads Cross over to the edge of the ring, still holding on to the bearhug…

 

… AND THROWS DAVID CROSS OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!

 

“Grappler with a belly-to-belly suplex,” exclaims Pete, “and David Cross calls it an early night!”

 

“Well,” says King, “The morale of the story is, never rub another man’s rhubarb. Grappler was preoccupied with trying to eliminate Strangler, and David Cross made the critical mistake of sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted.”

 

******************

David Cross

ENTERED: 11th

LEFT: 7th

TIME IN: 2:21

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Charlie ‘Grappler’ Matthews

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Grappler, Strangler, Maddix

******************

 

Grappler makes his way back over to Strangler, where Wildchild has taken over the task of trying to eliminate the Superstation and Matthews shoves Wildchild out of the way to try and take of Strangler himself. Across the ring, Johnny and Landon are going toe-to-toe, exchanging chops and Shotei:

 

CHOP! “WHOO!”

SLAP! “WHOO!”

CHOP! “WHOO!”

SLAP! “WHOO!”

CHOP! “WHOO!”

SLAP! “WHOO!”

CHOP! “WHOO!”

SLAP! “WHOO!”

CHOP! “WHOO!”

SLAP! “WHOO!”

 

 

Finally, Landon, being the fresher of the two, is able to take control, backing Johnny against the edge of the ring, and whipping him into the ropes. Johnny manages to reverse the whip attempt, but as he lowers his head to deliver a back-body drop, Landon leaps into the air as he rebounds off the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Slamming into the back of the Barracuda’s head with his patented Mushroom Stomp!

 

“Mushroom stomp!” shouts Pete. “Maddix just took him out Goomba-style!” Landon pulls Johnny to his feet and leads him over to the edge of the ring, looking to toss him out, but the Barracuda slams on the brakes before they reach the ropes, and jams an elbow into Landon’s ribs! Landon lurches back, stunned from the pain, and Johnny seizes the opportunity to grab La Cucaracha by the back of the head, leading him to the edge of the ring and tossing him over the top rope!

 

… BUT LANDON HOLDS ON TO THE TOP ROPE, AND SKINS THE CAT BACK INTO THE RING!

 

“That took some quick thinking by Landon Maddix,” says Pete. “He was a half-second from being eliminated.” Johnny looks at Landon as if to say ‘not bad,’ and the two lock up in the center of the ring, muscling into a corner as the Timer again runs down:

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

 

Suddenly, Lamb of God’s “Black Label” sends a bolt through the arena as “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins, sans his World Cruiserweight Championship, races down to the ring.

 

“Spike Jenkins,” King says happily. “The SWF World Cruiserweight Champion, on his way to the ring!”

 

“Let’s see if he’s able to last a little longer in there than his stablemate did earlier!” Jenkins slides into the ring and immediately makes his way towards Wildchild! Hollywood and the Bahama Bomber begin to trade punches in the center of the ring, with Jenkins taking an early advantage, forcing Wildchild back down to the mat!

 

“I love it!” shouts King. “Look at Jenkins going to work on Wildchild!”

 

“There’s certainly no love lost between those two,” agrees Pete.

 

“After all,” continues King, “Wild and Dangerous just recently stole the Tag Team Titles from his stablemates, and just a little earlier in this match, they put his partner Sean Davis on the shelf for WHO KNOWS how long!”

 

“Absolutely,” adds Pete. “And let’s not forget how the Cruiserweight Title factors into this!”

 

“I’m not sure I follow,” says King. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, think about it,” replies Pete. “Spike Jenkins has recently passed one hundred days in his Cruiserweight Title reign; he’s shattered Johnny Dangerous’ record for longest reign, and he’s the only two-time champion in the history of the Cruiserweight division, but in the eyes of many, he’s still in the shadow of the Wildchild, still arguably the greatest Cruiserweight of all time!”

 

“And that’s totally unfair to Jenkins,” barks King, as Spike pulls Wildchild to his feet. “Spike’s record speaks for itself; he deserves better than to be compared to that washed-up, broken-down has-been!” Spike whips Wildchild to the ropes, rushing in after him to deliver a lariat, but the Bahama Bomber ducks underneath it, leaping into the air as Jenkins bounces off the ropes, and wrapping his legs around Hollywood’s neck before arching back, taking Spike over with a beautiful rana! Spike backs up against the edge of the ring and Wildchild charges after him, exploding through the air with a running dropkick that sends Jenkins sailing over the top rope! But Hollywood grabs onto the middle rope and uses it to swing his body back into the ring. Unfortunately for him, he isn’t given even a moment’s rest before Wildchild gets back on top of him, pounding him with a battery of overhand rights!

 

“I get the sense that Wildchild isn’t all that concerned with the so-called greatness of Spike Jenkins,” says Pete, as Wildchild pulls Hollywood to his feet and whips him across the ring, leaping into the air as he rebounds off the ropes and planting both feet into Spike’s midsection while locking his hands behind his head…

 

 

SLAM!

 

Sending Jenkins flying through the air with his patented Freefall monkey flip! As Spike gets to his feet, Wildchild exits through the ropes to the ring apron.

 

“Now where does this idiot think he’s going?” bellows King. “That’s an easy way to get yourself eliminated!” Spike rushes towards the edge of the ring and pushes Wildchild off the apron before he can take to the air…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… AND SENDING THE BAHAMA BOMBER CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!

 

“He’s gone!” crows King. “Wildchild’s stupidity got him eliminated!”

 

“No, no, no, King,” retorts LDP. “You have to go over the top rope to be eliminated! Even though Spike knocked him off the apron, he never went over the top! Wildchild is still legal in this match!”

 

“That’s the dumbest rule I’ve ever heard,” barks King. “How can he be legal when he was knocked off the apron?” Jenkins slides underneath the bottom rope and heads out to the ringside area to finish up his hated rival. He grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him across the arena floor to the barricade, rushing in after him to follow up with a devastating blow, but the Caribbean Cruiser leaps on to the barricade and then flips backwards over the charging Jenkins to land behind him! Spike turns around to retaliate…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… But the Human Hurricane blasts him in the mouth with a superkick!

 

“Beautiful Superkick by Wildchild,” says Pete. “Boy are those two going at it!”

 

“Absolutely,” replies King. “As are his partner and Landon Maddix inside the ring!” Back in the ring, Landon whips Johnny into the ropes, but the Barracuda reverses and stuns him with a short-arm Shotei! As Maddix staggers backwards, Johnny swoops in for the kill, trapping Landon’s head and shoulders before popping his hips…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And taking Maddix over with a Uranage! Wildchild pulls Spike to his feet and rolls him underneath the bottom rope back into the ring as Johnny goes to a nearby corner and climbs to the second turnbuckle, leaping off back into the ring…

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And driving a fierce elbow right into Landon’s chest! At the same time, Spike staggers to his feet, just as Wildchild leaps onto the top rope and springs into the ring, grabbing Spike’s head in a front-facelock as he swings around…

 

 

BANG!

 

 

… BEFORE DRIVING HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE CANVAS WITH A JUMP-SWINGNG DDT!

 

 

“Presumed Guilty!” exclaims Pete. “Wildchild’s patented jump-swinging DDT! He’s used that move to beat former World Champions; but can he put away Spike Jenkins?” Wildchild drags Jenkins over to the edge of the ring and struggles to get Spike’s dead weight to his feet as his partner straddles Landon Maddix and proceeds to hammer away with heavy fists, while Grappler and Strangler are trading headbutts across the ring.

 

“So much action going on in the ring,” says Pete, “and we’re just about ready for our fourteenth entrant!”

 

“FIVE!”

 

“FOUR!”

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

The nondescript sound of an acoustic guitar wafts through the arena as Austin Sly makes his way down to the ring.

 

“Here comes another former Cruiserweight Champion,” says King. Sly arrives at ringside and slides underneath the bottom ropes, at which point he rolls to his feet and runs in the direction of Spike and Wildchild.

 

“Hey King,” says Pete, “do you notice how the Cruiserweights have tended to want to stay on one side of the ring?”

 

“Well, look at who’s on the other side of the ring,” King replies mirthfully. “None of those guys want to get between Strangler and Grappler Matthews; just look at what happened to the two guys that were stupid enough to try!” Grappler grabs Strangler by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but Strangler reverses, and pulls Matthews into him, leveling him with a short-arm clothesline! Superstation pulls Matthews to his feet and whips him into the ropes, snatching him off the canvas as he rebounds and pounding him into the mat with a wicked spinebuster!

 

“You’re right, King,” concedes Pete. “Those guys are like to bulls fighting each other in there! I’ll tell you, King, looking at all that activity in the ring; it makes me glad I’m retired!”

 

“Me too,” nods King.

 

Pete looks over at King with a smile. “That so? You finally retired, huh?”

 

“Definitely,” replies King with a laugh, pointing at Johnny Dangerous and Landon Maddix going at it. “I’d have stuntmen doing that for me!”

 

King and Pete share a laugh as Johnny gets Landon up on his shoulders and takes a few steps forward before diving towards the mat, crushing Maddix’s body between his shoulders and the canvas with his patented Rolling Fireman’s Carry!

 

“Spinal Explosion,” says Pete, a trace of mirth still in his voice, “and we’re just about ready for the fifteenth man to enter the ring!”

 

“I’ll tell you, Pete,” adds King, “you’ll notice how much the pace has slowed down ever since Grappler Matthews and the Boston Strangler got to the ring; and they’re not even interacting with the other wrestlers, but they’ve basically cut the ring in half, as none of the cruiserweights want to get near them, and more importantly, their presence in the ring has allowed some other wrestlers to make it down to the ring, and forced Wild and Dangerous to compete one-on-one; they can’t just pick off opponents like they were earlier anymore! I don’t think there’s been anybody eliminated in several minutes!”

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

“Gimme Shelter” kicks up over the PA, and out saunters Munich, his hair tied back in preparation for this match.

 

“Out comes Munich,” says King. “And I’m not so sure that this is Munich’s style of match; he’s tough, but his conditioning is a question in a match like this. I don’t know if Munich can go the whole distance!”

 

“Well, you never know what kind of reserves you can find when a shot at the World Title is at stake,” replies Pete. “Just take a look at Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous; these two were, respectively, the first and third men in the ring, and they’re still fighting it out three-quarters of the way through the whole thing!” Munich walks up the steps and climbs into the ring where he immediately makes his presence felt, slamming Johnny and Landon’s heads together with a double noggin-knocker! He then walks over to Austin Sly and lifts him up into an Inverted Atomic Drop! Munich ignores Spike and Wildchild, who remain engrossed in their own private battle, and continues to pound on Sly. He drags Austin over to a nearby corner and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle, and then turns around, raising his arms to grab hold of Sly, getting him in position for the Munich Edge! Munich lifts Austin off the turnbuckle and heads out towards the center of the ring, but before he can lower the boom, Austin rotates through and flips out of the move, landing on his feet in front of Agent 27!

 

“Nice heads-up maneuver by Austin Sly to avoid the Munich Edge,” says Pete, as Sly starts hammering Munich in the face with hard lefts and rights. Sly pulls Munich away from the corner, but Agent 27 stuns him with a rake of the eyes, and grabs him by the back of the head, slamming it down viciously to the canvas! Munich quickly gets back to his feet and takes a step back before charging towards Austin and blasting him in the face with his patented basement dropkick!

 

“Bamboozle!” shouts Pete. “Munich just Bamboozled Austin Sly!” Munich pulls Sly to his feet and looks to lead him over to the edge of the ring, but his path is blocked by Spike and Wildchild, who are trading punches at the edge of the ring, so Munich drops Sly and charges over towards the ropes, knocking Wildchild and Spike both down with a double-clothesline! Jenkins and Wildchild instinctively roll towards the center of the ring as the Timer winds down once more:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

This time, “Feuer Frei” by Rammstein begins to play as Kaine makes his way out to the ring at breakneck speed!

 

“Kaine is number sixteen,” shouts Pete, as Kaine slides into the ring, “and he’s wasting no time going after his arch-rival Spike Jenkins!” The Untouchable pounces on Hollywood’s back, raining punches on his back as Wildchild pulls himself to his feet and makes his way over to Sly. Munich, suddenly without a ‘dance partner,’ decides to head over to Matthews and Strangler. Munich drives a knee into Strangler’s back and turns him around, grabbing him by the wrist to whip him across the ring, but Strangler reverses easily and pulls Munich towards him, scooping him up and lifting him into the air with a military press! Everyone in the ring gives Strangler a wide berth as he storms across the ring towards the ramp and heaves Munich into the air!

[Secret Agent 0]

CRASH!

 

MUNICH CRASHES HARD INTO THE STEEL RAMP AS STRANGLER PRESS-SLAMS HIM OUT OF THE RING!

 

“A press slam,” says King, “and Munich is outta there!”

 

“What was that you were saying earlier, King? Never come between a dog and his meat?”

 

“Close enough.”

 

******************

Munich

ENTERED: 15th

LEFT: 8th

TIME IN: 2:27

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: The Boston Strangler

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Grappler, Strangler, Maddix, Spike, Sly, Kaine

******************

 

As Strangler and Grappler return to the apparently highly-rewarding task of beating the hell out of each other, the six cruisers begin flying through the air on the other side of the ring! Johnny whips Landon into the ropes, but the Cockroach leaps onto the middle rope as he approaches the edge of the ring and springs off, latching his legs around Johnny’s neck as he twists around in midair and taking the Barracuda over with a scintillating satellite hurricanrana! Austin whips Wildchild into the ropes, but the Bahama Bomber dives towards the edge of the ring headfirst, planting his hands as his body bounces off the ropes, and exploding back into the air the second his feet make contact with the mat…

 

WHACK!

 

 

… Blasting Austin with a handspring-flying forearm! Spike gets behind Kaine and lifts him up in an attempted Atomic Drop, but the Untouchable grabs onto his head as he’s coming down, and takes Hollywood to the mat with a headlock takeover! Kaine gets back to his feet, only to be caught by a flying back elbow from Wildchild, who is himself greeted as he stands up by a superkick, courtesy of La Cucaracha! Landon turns his attention back towards Johnny…

 

CRACK!

 

… But walks into a spinning heel kick by Austin Sly! Austin gets to his feet, only to be caught by Spike Jenkins’ Phantom Neckbreaker! While Spike takes his time to recover, Kaine tries to capitalize on Wildchild’s fatigue, pulling him to his feet and backing him against the edge of the ring. The Untouchable grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but the Tropical Tumbler reverses easily. Kaine bounces off the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… When suddenly, Spike explodes off the canvas and charges towards Kaine with his patented lariat, sending the Untouchable over the top rope and down to the floor!

 

******************

Kaine

ENTERED: 16th

LEFT: 9th

TIME IN: 1:39

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Spike Jenkins

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Grappler, Strangler, Maddix, Spike, Sly

******************

 

Austin sneaks up behind Spike and grabs him by the legs, tilting him over the top rope. Hollywood braces himself against the ring apron as Sly struggles to force him out…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… WHEN SUDDENLY, WILDCHILD SNEAKS UP BEHIND AUSTIN AND TILTS HIM UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE, SENDING BOTH HIM AND SPIKE OUT OF THE RING!

 

******************

Austin Sly

ENTERED: 14th

LEFT: 10th

TIME IN: 5:45

ELIMINATED: None

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Grappler, Strangler, Maddix,

******************

 

 

******************

Spike Jenkins

ENTERED: 13th

LEFT: 11th

TIME IN: 7:46

ELIMINATED: Kaine

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Grappler, Strangler, Maddix

******************

 

 

“Bid’ness has really picked up here,” says Pete. “We went several minutes without a single elimination, and now we’ve seen four in the last minute and a half!” Wildchild staggers to a nearby corner and collapses, sitting down on the canvas trying to catch his breath as the Timer runs down yet again:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

"Night of Fire” suddenly kicks up, the beat of the Niko composed theme really exciting the crowd and then…

 

*BOOOOOOOM!*

 

Pillars of flames briefly light up the entrance before disappearing and revealing Ced Ordonez standing on the stage to a big cheer!

 

“Since when did the referee’s have entrances?” ask King as Ordonez begins making his way towards the ring, the fans cheering all around him.

 

“Obviously, Ced Ordonez has traded in his Official’s shirt for tonight and laced up those old boots once again,” says Pete. “He’s number seventeen out of twenty!”

 

Ced gets into the ring right as Grappler sends a shot into Strangler’s skull that elicits an “OOOOOH!” from the crowd, and leaves the Bostonian sprawled on the mat! Charlie backpedals away from his fallen opponent, as Ordonez dives for Matthews, knocking the war-torn Grappler to the canvas. Grappler tries to get back up, pushing up to his hands and knees but the referee cuts into the back of Matthews’ neck with some chops!

 

WHACK!

WHACK!

WHACK!

 

Nearby, Johnny pulls himself up by way of the ropes, getting to his feet just a hair before Maddix and then he dives for the Spaniard, knocking him right back down to the mat!

 

“Once more, Johnny takes his fight to Landon,” says Pete. “These two are determined to settle some kind of a personal vendetta here tonight.”

 

Johnny mounts Maddix and starts wailing into him, slamming fist straight into Landon’s face until Strangler comes in and jams his knee into the Barracuda’s jaw, knocking him off Landon!

 

CRACK!

 

“They might have a score to settle,” adds King, “but right now I’d worry about that man right there.”

 

Strangler doesn’t stay focused on the Barracuda though, fortunately for him. He heads back across the ring, over towards Ced, and dives towards the referee with a fist drop! Ordonez darts out of the way, seeing the Bostonian approaching out of the corner of his eye, and the Superstation drops his fist straight into the back of Matthews’! Strangler stomps back up to a vertical base only to get a boot to the gut to double him over and pulled into a side headlock! the fans rise up with a cheer for Ced’s fearless approach on Strangler and he holds out his arm to them, inciting even more cheers before dropping back with a DDT!

 

“Ced Ordonez came out of the gates swinging,” says Pete, “and now he’s hanging in there – holding his own against Boston’s strongman!”

 

Ced pulls Strangler back up and he gets him about halfway before the Superstation launches a fist into Ordonez’s ribcage, temporarily stunning the referee as the clock ticks away the last remaining seconds:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

Cypress Hill's "How I Could Just Kill a Man" kicks into action as Stryke barrels out from backstage and burns down the ramp, into the ring!

 

“Stryke, the veteran of so many previous fucks is here!” cheers King. “Finally, someone with a realistic chance of winning this match and he comes in at a perfect time.”

 

Stryke heads straight over towards Strangler and catches him with a running knee lift, flooring the Bostonian, and then turns into Ordonez and flattens him with a clothesline as the crowd starts to unload on the Australian. Stryke waves them off then continues his mission, heading across the ring towards Wildchild, who is still perched into a corner, resting, and grabs him by his hair to pull him up.

 

“Stryke looks like he just might come through on that promise to win this match, after all,” King says. “He’s come straight out of the gates swinging!”

 

“That was last year, King! He also staked his career on last years Clusterfuck and lost,” recalls Pete as Stryke sets Wildchild up for the Low End Theory, but his plan is thwarted by Landon Maddix who promptly nails the Australian with a sharp kick to the ribs! Stryke staggers back, clutching his chest and Maddix grabs him by the back of his head and slings him over the top!

 

 

…But Stryke grabs onto the top rope on his way over, “-and he nearly lost his fourth Clusterfuck in record time!” shouts Pete as Stryke dangles from the rope, holding his feet up before flipping himself back in the ring. “There’s your realistic chance, King!”

 

“Oh, shut up!”

 

Landon grabs Wildchild, who is just holding on by a thread, but the Bahaman refuses to just go quietly and cranks his elbow into the side of Maddix’s head as the crowd starts to heat up! Both men, drop to the mat; Wildchild to his knees and Maddix to his back. Meanwhile, on the other side, Strangler grabs around Ordonez’s throat and starts lifting the referee up, readying another chokeslam, but the attempt is broken when Grappler plants a big boot in Strangler’s chest, rocking him back into the ropes!

 

“It looks like they may have finally worn Strangler out,” says Pete as the Superstation falls into the ropes. He quickly pulls himself back up as Charlie explodes from a standing position, charging towards Strangler like a runaway Mack 10 truck! The crowd rises up, anticipating the elimination, but before Grappler can ram Strangler over the top, the Bostonian ducks down and grabs around his legs and flips him over the ropes!

 

…But Matthews lands on the apron, igniting a surge of cheers! Charlie lets out a sigh of relief from the close call, while Strangler spins around growling then charges at Matthews and…

 

CRACK!

 

…nails him in the ribs with a shoulderblock through the middle rope! Grappler goes flying off the apron and crashing into the ground below to a roar of cheers!

 

 

******************

Charlie Matthews

ENTERED: 8th

LEFT: 12th

TIME IN: 21:10

ELIMINATED: David Cross

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Strangler, Maddix, Stryke

******************

 

 

“Oh, my God!” cries Pete. “Strangler just eliminated the last big man left in the ring and shattered Grappler’s hopes of winning back to back Clusterfucks!”

 

“While I might not appreciate either of them,” adds King, “I must admit those two slugged it out for at least half the time they were in there and still kept going!”

 

All the action in the ring stops, everyman just looks towards Strangler as the clock runs its course:

 

“THREE!”

 

“TWO!”

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

An explosion occurs on the entryway as "Superstar" by Saliva cues up, and the fans launch into a fiery jeer! Max King bursts out from backstage and heads to the ring as Strangler suddenly rushes across the ring and nails the only standing man, Johnny Dangerous, with a running elbow!

 

“Max King is coming in at a perfect time here tonight at nineteen,” says Pete, “He could easily take advantage of all the worn out competitors already inside the ring.”

 

“He could,” agrees King, “and he most certainly should. Strike while the irons hot, I always say!”

 

Max King pops up to his feet in the ring just in time to duck down and narrowly avoid a burning lariat from Strangler, and then he takes off across the ring. The Icon hits the ropes and comes tearing back across the ring towards the Bostonian, and dives, slamming a flying forearm into Strangler’s face! He quickly rolls to his feet, stops…and then strikes a pose for some well deserved jeers.

 

“Watch out,” warns King as Strangler gets right back up then grabs Max by his throat and lifts him up…

 

WHAM!

 

…and SLAMS him, viciously to the mat with a chokeslam!

 

“I’m starting to wonder if anybody can put a stop to the Boston Strangler,” says Pete. “Right now he’s ripping everyone to shreds and unless they try to put an end to his streak it’ll be Strangler going to From the Fire!”

 

Landon comes in next, planting a drop kick into Stranglers back to send him stumbling across the mat! Maddix storms in after him and tries to run him to the ropes, but Strangler fires an elbow back, popping 'La Cucaracha' squarely in the jaw!

 

“They’re going to have to focus their efforts if they want to take him down,” says King. “This one at a time thing is going nowhere fast!”

 

“I thought it was everyman for himself,” replies Pete.

 

“It is, you twit!” snaps King. “The argument about the team up was Wild and Dangerous double teaming every Joe in this match so they could win…and so far it’s worked.”

 

“THREE!”

 

Strangler grabs Maddix and pulls him onto his shoulder, draping Maddix’s head over his chest. He turns towards the far side of the ring… then storms towards it…

“TWO!”

 

“Maddix is as good as gone,” King wishfully says as Strangler charges across the ring and heaves Maddix off his shoulder…

 

“ONE!”

 

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!

 

 

…and every single light in the MCI center drops out, leaving the fans, wrestlers, and even the announcers in a bewildered state!

 

“W-W-What’s going on here?” questions Pete. “Are we still on? The number twenty entrant must have tripped on a power cord on his way out here… surely we didn’t put the Shockmaster under contract!”

 

“Who cares about that,” snaps King. “Did Landon just hit the floor? I think he hit the floor!”

 

“We can’t tell! It’s much to dark to see,” Pete replies as a voice suddenly picks up on the speakers, and says…

 

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAIT… AND…BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!”

 

“RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“It’s the number twenty man – Bloodshed!” exclaims Pete as the crowd roars in delight when a familiar man from earlier steps out under a red light. The lights power back on and Bloodshed tears down the ramp, and then slides into the ring, while Strangler looks to the floor…searching for Maddix…but Landon’s in the ring behind him!

 

“Look out,” warns King, as Strangler spins back around only to eat a barrage of fist from Landon and Bloodshed!

 

WHACK!

CRACK!

 

Strangler fires back…

 

SMACK!

 

Bloodshed nails him with a kick to the ribs!

 

CRACK!

 

Then Ordonez flings his fist into Strangler!

 

WHAM!

WHACK!

 

“God damn,” roars King, “Martial Law is chock full of cheats! Landon was already eliminated, I know he was-”

 

“How could we tell? It was pitch-black in here!”

 

“Don’t interrupt! He went over the top…I heard his feet hit the floor!” snaps King. “To top that off we have Alan Clark out here for the second time tonight!”

 

One by one, every man joins the group assault on Strangler and they finally have the big man reeling! He staggers back…then suddenly lunges at Stryke, the closest man to him, and hauls him overhead with a suplex…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND SENDING HIM STRAIGHT TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

 

 

******************

Stryke

ENTERED: 18th

LEFT: 13th

TIME IN: 5:50

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Strangler, Maddix, Ordonez, Max King, Bloodshed

******************

 

 

“Even with all of them together, Strangler still eliminates someone!” shouts Pete as the elimination seems to really fire Strangler up, and he starts recklessly swinging his fist for everything in sight!

 

CRACK!

SMACK!

WHACK!

 

Bodies drop left and right, Strangler having an easier fight against the more worn competitors, except for the well rested Bloodshed! He slings his foot into Strangler’s gut doubling him over…

 

 

 

…Then Strangler fires a stiff shot back into Bloodshed’s skull, rocking his head back, “-and that big hit he took to his head earlier could still have him rattled,” says Pete, “even *after* thirty minutes rest.”

 

Bloodshed stumbles…and then Strangler pulls him into a side headlock then lifts him for a vertical suplex…and unloads the Apostle’s body on the top rope! Bloodshed hangs by his torso, but then gets flipped on out of the ring by Strangler, sending him to the floor once more!

 

 

******************

Bloodshed

ENTERED: 20th

LEFT: 14th

TIME IN: 1:25

ELIMINATED: Nobody

ELIMINATED BY: Wildchild

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Strangler, Maddix, Ordonez, Max King

******************

 

CRACK!

 

And Strangler turns back around into a super kick at the hands of Johnny! Strangler falls back into the ropes then stumbles off them as Wildchild scrambles in behind him on his hands and knees… and then the other four men rush in and shove back on Strangler, forcing him back…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

….and he trips over Wildchild and tumbles backwards over the top rope…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

….AND ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!!

 

 

******************

Boston Strangler

ENTERED: 10th

LEFT: 15th

TIME IN: 21:47

ELIMINATED: Dominic Korgath, Munich, Bloodshed, Stryke, Charlie Matthews

ELIMINATED BY: Dangerous, Ordonez, King, Maddix

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Maddix, Ordonez, Max King

******************

 

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”S OUTTA HERE!!!” shouts King. “Oh, my God, how many people did it take though…and how many people did Strangler get rid of?”

 

As soon as Strangler hits the dirt, Max King grabs Ordonez by his ankles and flips him over as well!

 

 

******************

Ced Ordonez

ENTERED: 17th

LEFT: 16th

TIME IN: 7:55

ELIMINATED: Strangler

ELIMINATED BY: Max King

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Dangerous, Maddix, Max King

******************

 

“Max King took quick advantage of Ordonez there,” says King, “and now we’re down to the final four! It should be final three already though…cheating bastard, Maddix…”

 

Hoping to keep his advantage, King grabs Landon and knees him in the gut over and over, beating him back as Wildchild and Johnny strafe away from the scene, knowing they’re better off letting these two decide it. King takes Landon by his head and rushes him to the edge…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND THEN TOSSES HIM OVER!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“But Landon lands on the apron,” says Pete as the fans rise up from their seats. King flails fist into Maddix, trying to knock him off, but Landon wisely grapevines his leg over the middle rope, hooks his ankle under the bottom rope. Max sees Landon’s leg entanglement and tries to pull away, but Maddix grabs him in a front headlock then drops back, pulling the icon over the top…

 

 

 

…AND MAX KING GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE FLOOR!!

 

“RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

******************

Max King

ENTERED: 19th

LEFT: 17th

ELIMINATED: Ordonez

ELIMINATED BY: Landon Maddix

LEFT IN RING: Wildchild, Johnny Dangerous, and Landon Maddix

******************

 

“LANDON MADDIX JUST ELIMINATED THE ICON! WE’RE DOWN TO THE FINAL THREE!”

 

Referee Ronald ‘Red’ Herrington slides into the ring to officiate the fatal three way and Johnny quickly moves to capitalize as Landon pulls himself backup and steps back in the ring. Johnny slides in from behind on Maddix then quickly applies a full nelson, catching him by complete surprise before lifting him into the air, and then…

 

WHAM!

 

…viciously SLAMS him face-first into the canvas with the Dangerous Driver! Quickly floating over, the Barracuda snares Landon’s arm between his legs, “-and Johnny has just locked in the INTERROGATOR~!” shouts Longdogger Pete, barely concealing his excitement as Dangerous puts his opponent in a crossface submission! The crowd hangs on to their seats for dear life as Landon wails in agony…

 

“HE’S GOING TO TAP!” shouts Pete, over the roaring fans who only get louder when Maddix raises his arm up and then…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CRACK!

 

Wildchild drops an elbow straight into his tag partner’s chest, breaking apart the submission hold on Maddix, and the crowd goes *completely* insane!! Johnny jumps back up to his feet, fuming, and steps up to the Bahama Bomber as Maddix wisely rolls out of the ring to recoup.

 

“This place has gone mad!” exclaims Pete as the two members of Wild and Dangerous stand nose to nose to the roar of twenty thousand jubilant fans. “They’ve gone through the gauntlet of superstars together and survived, but now it’s down to these two men. They both want to win and neither one of them is going to just hand it over to his partner…and this time it’s for real…and this *crowd* is literally split down the middle!”

 

“This might work in the best of interest for Landon Maddix,” adds King. “He should hang back now – let these two clowns pound the piss out of each other then slip in and take the rewards.”

 

Suddenly, Johnny grabs Wildchild around the waist, hauls him through the air then plants him shoulders-first with a Northern Lights suplex, and bridges!

 

“He caught Wildchild totally off guard there,” says King as Herrington slides in to count:

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wildchild rolls to the side, breaking the pin and Johnny’s hold on him. The two men quickly rise to their feet and Wildchild boots Johnny in the gut, doubling him over before grabbing him by the arm to send him barreling across the ring with an Irish whip! Johnny rebounds and Wildchild steps in, whipping his leg out for a lariat…

 

 

…But Johnny ducks underneath Wildchild’s leg and keeps going, heading to the opposite side of the ring then rockets off the ropes and dives through the air, hoping to catch Wildchild with a body press just as he spins back around to face him…

 

WHACK!

 

…and Wildchild catches the Barracuda in the gut with a roundhouse kick, nailing him in midair!

 

“Wildchild just took a page right out of the Barracuda’s handbook,” says Pete as Wildchild drops down and hooks Dangerous’ leg for:

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CRACK! A second before three Landon rushes back in and levels the Bahaman with a kick to the face, breaking the pin!

 

“Landon gets back into this match with barely a second to spare,” says King. “All he has to do is finish off these two exhausted morons and he’s won.”

 

Wildchild staggers to his feet, his face buried in his hands, and Landon quickly pulls him in and spikes his head into the mat with a wraparound DDT!

 

WHAM!

 

“Oh!” Pete winces. “These guys are hitting each other with some hard shots - trying to quickly end this three way contest!”

 

“Well, they’ve been in there for quite a while,” adds King as Maddix scrambles for the cover. “There’s no need to play around and soften anybody up; their bodies are already like Jello.”

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW – STOMP! Johnny’s boot finds its way into the Spaniard’s back, nailing him to end the count. Wildchild slides out of the ring as Maddix angrily pushes up to his feet only to get his brain rattled with an uppercut, rocking his head back. He staggers back, stunned – his arms flailing to catch himself on the nearby ropes, but Dangerous pulls him off and whips him across the ring then braces to catch Maddix on the return with a super kick. The fans cheer in anticipation, but deflate when Landon hooks both arms around the ropes to keep himself from going anywhere – throwing Johnny momentarily off his game. Maddix takes his chance and explodes off the ropes, charging towards Dangerous…and gets a boot to the gut!

 

“Johnny might be physically spent but his reflexes are as sharp as ever,” comments Pete as Johnny pulls Landon off his feet and onto his shoulders for a fallaway slam…

 

“MI SLAM,” Pete calls in anticipation, but the Spaniard shoves off Dangerous’ shoulders and safely lands to the side of the Barracuda, then plants one foot into the mat and sends the other soaring through the air as Johnny spins back around…

 

CRACK!

 

 

…and Landon nails Johnny, squarely in the jaw with Sweet Cuca Music!

 

 

 

Johnny aimlessly stumbles backwards, falling into the ropes. He’s too stunned to counter anything now and Maddix knows it – He spins Johnny around to face him and steps up to the middle rope as the crowd rises to their feet… then leaps off the ropes and sends the Barracuda in a downward spiral to the canvas!

 

WHAM!

 

“CRASH LANDON! CRASH LANDON!” cries Pete. “Johnny kicked out of this at Ground Zero but there’s no way he has the energy to do it again! Landon has him!”

 

The fans roar loudly as Maddix jackknifes Dangerous legs over his head, firmly planting his shoulders to the mat as the referee drops down…

 

“He’s got his feet on the ropes!” cries King, pointing to where Landon walks his feet up to the middle rope, unnoticed by Herrington. “Landon’s going to cheat his way to a Clusterfuck victory!”

 

He doesn’t care though. All the matters to Landon is to claim the victory - he isn’t about to give the Barracuda a second chance to get up as…

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

…the mountain was no longer Johnny’s to climb, anyway…

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…it belonged to Maddix!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

With Landon’s hand reaching out to grasps that last stone to pull him up top, Wildchild jerks Landon’s leg, pulling him off Johnny, and halfway out of the ring! He leaves Maddix hanging by his gut on the middle rope then clubs Landon’s spine over and over as the fans roar with glee! Finally, with the Spaniard reeling, Wildchild hops up to the apron then springs to the top rope and bounces off, coming down with a leg drop across the back of Landon’s head!

 

CRACK!

 

The fans roar in delight and Wildchild pumps his arms to them as Landon slides through the ropes and tumbles back into the ring. Wildchild pulls the Spaniard up and draws him into a reverse head-scissors, hooks the arms, rolls over to put Maddix to his back then lifts up…

 

“Landon’s about to go for the Wild Ride – the last elimination will end like the first,” says King, but before the Bahaman can drill Maddix into the mat, Johnny scrambles in …

 

THHHH-WHACK!!!

 

…and thrusts his open fist into the Bahama Bomber’s face, nailing him right between the eyes with a ferocious Shotei palmstrike, and the crowd goes completely wild!

 

“OH!” Pete winces. “What a shot – He caught Wildchild completely off guard!”

 

Wildchild staggers a step back, dropping Landon to the canvas as he sways from side to side before Johnny reaches in, grabs Wildchild by his wrist and steps forward, whipping him across the ring. He follows directly behind Wildchild, and as the Caribbean hits the ropes and rebounds, Johnny leaps up and plants both feet squarely into his chest with a drop kick to send Wildchild tumbling out of the ring!

 

“And Johnny may have just put the finishing touches on his own partner with that, says Pete. “If Wildchild had landed in the ring I feel this would have been over, King!”

 

“Don’t worry; it still is about to end,” crows King as Landon pushes up to his feet, “for Johnny Dangerous that is.”

 

Landon staggers in from behind and then clubs the Secret Agent in the back with a double axe handle, knocking Johnny into the ropes! Dangerous grunts in pain, and then Maddix peels him off the ropes before sending the Barracuda for a ride across the ring…

 

 

….NO! Johnny plants his feet into the mat, stopping the whip, then reverses. However, instead of sending Landon across the ring, Johnny pulls his opponent in and onto his shoulders…

 

“HE’S GOT HIM!” exclaims Pete as Johnny pivots on one foot to deliver his devastating, “-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-”

 

 

*SLAAAAAAM!*

 

“RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”

 

The crowd explodes, and the ring quivers as Maddix is drilled into the canvas with the Barracuda’s devastating finisher – they know Johnny has won now and all that was separating him from victory was the count! Harrington moves in, and as Johnny grabs Landon’s leg and rolls back on it, firmly pinning his shoulders to the mat, the referee drops to count!

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

 

“RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

******************

Landon maddix

ENTERED: 12th

LEFT: 18th

ELIMINATED: Strangler, Max King

ELIMINATED BY: Johnny Dangerous

******************

 

 

“He’s done it! Johnny Dangerous has gone all the way!” shills Pete as “After the Flesh” kicks up and the roof to the MCI Center is blown to the moon!

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” bellows Funyon, “THE WINNER OF THIS YEARS CLUUUUUSTERFUUUUUCK, JOHHNY ‘THE BAAAARAAAACUDAAAAAAA’ DAAAAAAAANGEEEROOOUS!!!”

 

Herrington grabs Johnny’s arm and raises it up in victory as the fans chant his name and cheer louder than ever before for him!

 

“Finally,” says Pete, “the Barracuda is poised to take the mountain over once again! Johnny Dangerous is going to From the Fire!”

 

The celebration in the ring continues, and Wildchild gets up…peers into the ring and sees that Johnny has won. Then he slowly starts towards the back as Johnny finally sees his tag partner. Not even thinking, Johnny rushes towards the edge of the ring…but Wildchild keeps going.

 

“I don’t think Wildchild is in the mood to celebrate with the Barracuda right now,” says King. “He went from number one in this match and lasted all the way to the end, but lost to his best-friend. How about *those* apples?”

 

“He can still be proud of the fact that he went all the way from number one,” replies Pete, “lasting to the very end of this match.”

 

Halfway up the ramp, Wildchild stops and gazes up at the giant screen overhead. He sees Johnny staring at him as if he were looking for some kind of a sign, and then slowly turns his head back to the ring, locking eyes with the Barracuda…

 

 

 

 

 

…No words are said…

 

 

 

…no gestures…

 

 

 

…just a blank, glossed over stare…

 

 

 

 

…and then Wildchild closes his eyes and turns back to the exit, never looking back again as he disappears behind the curtains. All around Johnny the fans are cheering wildly, chanting his name - and for some reason he can’t pull his attention away from the exit…

 

 

 

 

…but he knows why…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Well, without bothering to reply in-depth, a quick scan of the match shows that you forgot to change some of those edits I told you about. In particular, there are at least two eliminations (Grappler and Stryke) that should have been credited to Strangler that you cut-and-pasted WC's name for...

[Secret Agent 0]