Ketamine Disaster Posted July 6, 2008 Report Posted July 6, 2008 I'm dating a Russian girl named Svetlana Yanuknyova who tonight, after our third date, deemed it the appropriate time to take four percoset and snort a xanax in front of me. I think she may be the one. This was very short-lived, by the by.
PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! Posted July 7, 2008 Report Posted July 7, 2008 Vanity Fair's cool because it features columns by Christopher Hitchens and James Wolcott, which is just a hilariously toxic pairing. I think the combined bile spewed by the two of them is enough to get some issues classified as legally radioactive.
Guest !!! Posted July 7, 2008 Report Posted July 7, 2008 Legally a biohazard. You're mixing metaphors.
PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! Posted July 7, 2008 Report Posted July 7, 2008 I was being lazy and just using "radioactive" and "toxic" as interchangeable. Thanks for being pedantic enough to point it out and make me look like a retard in front of everybody
Matt Young Posted July 7, 2008 Report Posted July 7, 2008 This place has me addicted. I've been without a working PC for a week and a half, and mine barely worked before then. I'm now checking TSM in a Springfield, Illinois basement at 8 A.M. my time (Pacific), 10:00 here, while on vacation. Also:
Matt Young Posted July 7, 2008 Report Posted July 7, 2008 *brings back purple "I LOVE SUCKING COCKS" sig*
Kinetic Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 I spent a few of the most unpleasant minutes of my life cleaning some guy's bloody diarrhea off of the toilet seat tonight at work. You know that place where "I should have finished college" meets "I wish I was dead?" I was there.
Guest Tzar Lysergic Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 Why the hell are you working in a gas station, anyway?
Smartly Pretty Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 When your boss asks you to clean bloody diarrhea off a toilet, it is at that moment you quit. You can find another crappy dead end job. One without a bathroom.
nl5xsk1 Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 I say this in 100% seriousness ... couldn't you just piss on the toilet seat and quasi-wash the bloody diarrhea off with that? And then after that you're just cleaning up your own urine, and that's not nearly as gross.
Sideburnious Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 In the same vain, i'm shocked he didn't throw up on the toilet seat, and then wiped off his own vomit. And if you have bloody diarrhea do you really find the public so digusting that you hover? I mean at least ply the seat.
Retard Girl Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 a decent person would have cleaned his/her own mess.
PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 Why the hell are you working in a gas station, anyway? Working at a gas station is cool because it gives you a chance to interact with the absolute dregs of your community.
Kinetic Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 And if you have bloody diarrhea do you really find the public so digusting that you hover? I mean at least ply the seat. Despite the fact that he was obviously experiencing some intestinal turmoil, the guy did have the presence of mind to cover much of the floor with toilet paper, which I assume was for my benefit. I just don't know why someone would leave piles of their own shit on the toilet seat, knowing that someone was going to have to clean it up for them. We even made eye contact. This happened at the store I work in.
godthedog Posted July 8, 2008 Report Posted July 8, 2008 is that the golden pantry on broad, close to vision video?
Kinetic Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 No, it's on West Broad, just beyond the Kroger. Rumor has it that I'm going to get fired soon. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Nighthawk Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 Danny, you're a little bit of a fuck up, though not to where I would think bad of you as a person (like Jingus). That's odd, because I used to legitimately be intimidated by you as the coolest poster here. I think it was your elitist musical attitudes that did it.
Kinetic Posted July 9, 2008 Report Posted July 9, 2008 I haven't changed. You can go back to fearing and loving me any time you'd like.
Kinetic Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 I feel that my most significant failure in life is that, despite all of my e-accomplishments, I have never been responsible for a TSMeme. Um...this hat don't fit? No, that sucks. My ass is on my head! No, that's terrible. How do you do these things? I'm guessing that you have to be dumb and quotable in an unselfconscious way. Shawty is shoddy on my foot! Yuk Yuk~!
Guest Vitamin X Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 If anything, take solace in the fact that TSMemes are usually popularized in the mocking of someone and/or something they said. Let's see.. CronoT gave us "The Frog Ending", "Right here, you little bitch." and probably another one I'm forgetting. I forget who came up with "How come did", but it was probably someone's brainfart. There's everyone's favorite "I froze when.." which was spewed by Slapnuts, who apparently felt too embarrassed afterwards on TSM and has since ran off to the Pit. If anything, I have to say it's a good thing you didn't come up with a TSMeme, really.
Slayer Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 CronoT gave us "The Frog Ending", "Right here, you little bitch." and probably another one I'm forgetting. Disillusioned intellectual
Kinetic Posted July 10, 2008 Report Posted July 10, 2008 "How come did..." was DJ Jeff, if I'm not mistaken.
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