The Longest Yard....

[spman 0]

I caught the Longest Yard tonight, and it wasn't too bad. It seemed slightly too long though, clocking in at slightly over 2 hours, it really starts to lose steam towards the end. Kevin Nash and Bob Sapp steal the whole film. It's hard for me to fairly rate movies anymore since working at the theater allows me to see whatever I want for free, so I like just about everything, but this wasn't bad, 7.5/10. Anyone else see it?

[Guest Mosaicv2]

I log into the nest and I find it not bad either.

[spman 0]

The Ping Pong guy was Dalip Singh, a 7 foot tall martial artist that worked for All Japan. According to Meltzer he's the worst wrestler this side of Giant Gonzalez and has absolutly no hope for improvement, so look for him in a Wrestlemania Main Event near you April 2006.

[CBright7831 0]

but I never EVER want to think about The Size of Goldberg's Penis EVER again.

Thanks for the warning.

 

I'll never see this movie now.

[Beast 0]

Sapp was really, really good. I didn't know he had such a good part in the movie, but he really did steal the show throughout the film. Nice to see Nash and Sapp show some true chops.

[AndrewTS 0]

The Ping Pong guy was Dalip Singh, a 7 foot tall martial artist that worked for All Japan. According to Meltzer he's the worst wrestler this side of Giant Gonzalez and has absolutly no hope for improvement, so look for him in a Wrestlemania Main Event near you April 2006.

He was on Conan last night with Sandler. He basically sat there and looked huge. From the little bit he spoke it seemed clear that he had limited understanding of English.

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

Saw it enjoyed it. Nash was hilarious as was Bob Sapp. I thought Michael Irvin did a good job as well.

[Mole 0]

This girl saw the movie last night and she was talking about how she liked it. I say to her "You know this is a remake, right?" Her and the two other people in the car are like "Really? I didn't know that."

 

I was very, very, very, disapointed with the youth of America at that point. I'd say only 20% of the people who are seeing it just because it's a Sandler movie have NO IDEA it is a remake. It's sad.

 

And how was SCSA?

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

"And how was SCSA?"

 

He was fine. His role wasn't as showy as Nash's but for screen time he had the most among the guards(after William Fichtner ofcourse) and he did a good job.

[Guest BobBacklundRules]

If you're a wrestling, football, or Adam Sandler fan, then you'll love this movie.

 

I think I just described 98% of all my friends.

[iliketurtles 0]

.

[The Tino Standard 0]

This girl saw the movie last night and she was talking about how she liked it. I say to her "You know this is a remake, right?" Her and the two other people in the car are like "Really? I didn't know that."

 

I was very, very, very, disapointed with the youth of America at that point. I'd say only 20% of the people who are seeing it just because it's a Sandler movie have NO IDEA it is a remake. It's sad.

 

And how was SCSA?

Bingo.

 

Of the people in here who've seen it and actually liked it, I'm curious to know how many saw the original. The reviews coming from just about anybody who has seen the original that I've read have torn this to shreds.

 

I loved the original, so I'm more than a little hesitant to see the remake.

[Matt Young 0]

-REALLY never thought I'd see the day of Steve Austin calling Nelly a nigger.

Wow. That's about the funniest thing I've ever imagined. I was going to go see this anyway since it has football, wrestling, and Adam Sandler, but now there's no excuse.

[cabbageboy 0]

Well, if you watch the original the racial slurs fly fast and furious from the guards to inmates. In fact I watched it last night to get hyped for the new version. I tried to see it on Friday but it was sold out, which blew my mind since Star Wars wasn't even sold out the previous week. Maybe it was in more theaters?

 

Anyway there are some things if they redo them in this film that I am uneasy about:

 

 

In the original film Caretaker is killed by a psycho inmate via a rigged lightbulb. I think Chris Rock is Caretaker in this and the movie is promoted as a silly comedy....I dunno if he dies how well that will go over.

 

The original is not really a goofy slapstick comedy. There are funny moments but it's more of a protest film against abuse of power, racial tension, and of course sticking it to the man. Reynolds in that film was no choir boy, having shaved points and all that.

 

I do have one question...is the famed "I think I broke his fucking neck!" line in this? I know it's PG-13 but I figure that might be the one use of fuck in the film.

[TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0]

Well, if you watch the original the racial slurs fly fast and furious from the guards to inmates. In fact I watched it last night to get hyped for the new version. I tried to see it on Friday but it was sold out, which blew my mind since Star Wars wasn't even sold out the previous week. Maybe it was in more theaters?

 

Anyway there are some things if they redo them in this film that I am uneasy about:

 

 

In the original film Caretaker is killed by a psycho inmate via a rigged lightbulb. I think Chris Rock is Caretaker in this and the movie is promoted as a silly comedy....I dunno if he dies how well that will go over.

 

The original is not really a goofy slapstick comedy. There are funny moments but it's more of a protest film against abuse of power, racial tension, and of course sticking it to the man. Reynolds in that film was no choir boy, having shaved points and all that.

 

I do have one question...is the famed "I think I broke his fucking neck!" line in this? I know it's PG-13 but I figure that might be the one use of fuck in the film.

I saw the original but I still enjoted the remake. It's more comedic but doesn't really tarnish the original.

 

As for your questions:

 

The "I broke his fucking neck line" isn't in it. A similar line is. The one use of fuck is given to Chris Rock in the first half of the movie

 

By the way, am I the only one who finds it weird that in PG13 movies 'fuck' can only be used once but 'nigger' can be used as much as needed?

[Damaramu 0]

I saw it and I enjoyed it. But I mean it didn't have the dramatic tension that the original had of course.

 

I'm sure some of you were like "Burt Reynolds is wearing an OU hat. Dama is marking." Well I was but not as much as I was for THE BOZ! I had no clue he was even in the movie.

[Guest Rrrsh]

It was funny and good, but I am not surprised at all it got ripped by old people. Its a very young movie with Wrestlers and rappers. The best part was the changes made to make it new and funny (calling Nelly Magget for Bermans line).

 

The Old people wont get why its funny.

[Dangerous A 0]

The Ping Pong guy was Dalip Singh, a 7 foot tall martial artist that worked for All Japan. According to Meltzer he's the worst wrestler this side of Giant Gonzalez and has absolutly no hope for improvement, so look for him in a Wrestlemania Main Event near you April 2006.

Sorry to be anal, but Dalip "Giant" Singh was actually a worker for New Japan, not All Japan. Just clarification is all. Proceed with movie talk.

[cabbageboy 0]

I saw it today and people might trash me for saying this but I actually thought it was better than the original. I shall count the ways:

 

--Kevin Nash was utterly awesome in this movie. Taking this into account and also his memorable bit in The Punisher and Big Kev might well have a movie career.

 

--Austin was the most vile character in the film as well, aside from the warden of course. In fact the cast here was leagues better than the original, every scene had SOMEONE of note in it (David Patrick Kelly, Terry Crews, Courtney Cox, all the wrestlers and NFL players, hell even Cloris Leachman).

 

--Ending was more satisfying. In the original....

 

Crewe is still blackmailed by the warden briefly into throwing the game or be charged with accessory to the murder of Caretaker. Thing is he eventually wins the game anyway but we're left with the uneasy notion that the warden might well go through with his plan fuck Crewe over and keep him in prison for 20 years.

 

In this film near the end the main guard dude (the guard QB) finds out what the warden did and stands up for Crewe, assurring him that he'd vouch that he had nothing to do with Caretaker's death.

 

But my God, Nash mistakenly taking estrogen instead of the roids....that was GOLD.

 

[Slickster 0]

I liked how they teased the 'exploding lightbulb' for Caretaker as an homage to the original.'

 

That said, I think they did a good job of making a good comedy summer movie that also maintained some elements of gravitas to keep viewers from getting bored with the 'inmates outsmart guards' storyline.

 

The McDonald's guy didn't really get over too well from where I sat. It was just too forced a product placement, unlike the use of RBK, for instance.

 

As unrealistic as this film's premise is, I did like the elements of realism they retained in the script. Bonus points for mentioning the National Football League by name instead of BSing some fake league's name. Double bonus points for using ESPN columnists and talking heads to play themselves. Even more points for using D12 as extras. I also liked how they decided to put the game on ESPN2 during a summer afternoon instead of, say, prime-time TV like every other climactic sports-movie showdown.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I really liked it. The DVD had better be called the "With Cheese On It Edition."

[Ted the Poster 0]

I liked it too. Bob Sapp is my new favorite actor.

[iliketurtles 0]

The McDonald's guy didn't really get over too well from where I sat.

I agree, product placement was really bad in this movie. I actually thought they were going to go somewhere near the end about all the McDonald's food, but it was basically a character simply to plug it and that was kind of stupid.

 

You had everyone. McDonald's, Sprite, Lays, Reebok, I don't even remember what else.

[Carnival 0]

Is that Bob Sapp in the commercials on TV all the time?

 

I've only seen him in pics.

[cabbageboy 0]

Yeah Bob Sapp was the really huge black dude that you see in the trailer lifting the entire bleacher.

 

The McDonald's thing was the only really blatant product placement in the film. As in repeated over and over. It didn't really bother me that much because 1. Terry Crews is cool and 2. It at least had something to do with his character, rather than in Happy Gilmore where Happy and the Caddy constantly plugged Subway.

[slimm44 0]

I saw it yesterday and thought it was great. A lot of changes from the original. Courtney Cox-Arquette's cleavage was definitly hypnotizing. I thought Austin and Nash were really good. Austin was more believable. Nash was just comic relief. Goldberh didn't really impress me.

[Carnival 0]

I downloaded it and it was ok. I thought Austin was good in it. Goldberg was meh. I didn't think Nash was funny, cuz of the writing not him, he was good in it. Bob Sapp also did well.

 

I was also pretty impressed by Nelly.

[CBright7831 0]

Are Austin, Nash, and Goldberg face or heel? Do any of them have any memorable quotes?

[slimm44 0]

Are Austin, Nash, and Goldberg face or heel? Do any of them have any memorable quotes?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Austin and Nash are the guards (heels), Goldberg is a con(face). Although towards the end, Nash is humorous so I guess he can be considered a tweener. I can't remember any memorable quotes.

[The Tino Standard 0]

Just got back from seeing it.

 

I was definitely skeptical going in (and I still think the original was better), but this ended up being pretty entertaining, tho somewhat flawed.

 

The comedy stuff was more 'hit' than 'miss' for me, and sweet Jesus, couldn't they have found some excuse to get Courteney Cox's cleavage more screen time after the first 15 minutes? Seriously, where was she hiding those on Friends for the last 10 years?

 

On the other hand, the dramatic aspects (Caretaker getting killed, Crewe almost getting shot) came off as WAY forced, given the tone of the rest of the film.

 

All in all, not a total disaster, but not exactly a home run either.

 

Thumbs in the middle, slightly leaning up.