OVW Results Thread...

[Fro 0]

OVW TV Report for 6/25/05...

Taped, as always, from the Davis Arena in Louisville, KY on the Wednesday before this aired. You go looked up the date if you're a completist archiving wrestling history, I'm too lazy this week.

 

- We start with a clip of Synn "returning" and attacking Beth Phoenix from last week, which is apparently supposed to be a big deal. Synn is Cornette's girlfriend and is really gross.

 

- LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOAHAR!

 

- Our Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean "The Duke of Louisville" Hill. Tonight Bolin and Cornette reveal their Six Flags teams, a "Beat the Champ TV Title" rematch, the Blonde Bombers and Ken Anderson get ready for Chris Cage and the Dudleys at Six Flags.

 

Danny Inferno (w/ Synn) v.s. "The" Paul Burchill. Synn is rocking about 4 double chins and is grosser than ever. Burchill is well on his way to getting in WWE shape. This Friday, Danny Inferno and Aaron "The Idol" Stevens blow off their six month long running feud. Solid match here but nothing special. I'm high on Paul Burchill, especially knowing the crazy spots he used to do in England. The only trace of that here was a standing moonsault attempt. Inferno hits a Michinoku Driver #2 for a 2-count. Burchill reaches in his tights to either pull out a chain or whack off. Synn sprays him with mace and Inferno hits a flatliner for the three count.

 

Next Team Bolin Services and Team OVW will be announced!

 

- OVW in Derby Park Expo 5 and the WWE PPV. Five big matches! One low price!

 

- OVW Fundraiser. Receive a portion of the money OVW doesn't make on shows!

 

- OVWrestling.com

 

- Ad for "Raw Live". See all the Raw superstars... Batista, HHH, Shelton Benjamin, Ric Flair, and... CHRIS BENOIT. Plus Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Edge, and more! Saturday July 16th!

 

- Tonight we reveal the teams for the Elimination Match at Kentucky Kingdom. It's Kenny "Starmaker" Bolin with "The Giant Killer" Mike Mondo, and Blaster Lasheley. The losing manager will kiss the feet of the winning manager. Mike Mondo is the first member the team, big surprise. The second member of "Team BS" is Blaster Lasheley. God, he sounds like Michael Jackson, this is not good for a monster heel. Cornette says Bolin is a "Big Man in Any Town". Cornette announces Elijah Burke as the first member of his team, and the second member is the OVW Heavyweight Champion, "The Shooter" Brent Albright. Bolin says you rushed him. His third member of his team is Ken Donne. Donne says he was held back so he's going to embarass Jim Cornette. An update when we come back.

 

- OVW at Six Flags Friday July 6. Dudleys/Cage v.s. Blonde Bombers/Ken Anderson. Team BS v.s. Team Cornette. Apparently Cornette has a "mystery partner" to round out his team. Aaron Stevens v.s. Danny Inferno. The Thrillseekers v.s. Da Beast and Osama (w/ Mo Greene.

 

- Let us take you back to last week when Chris Cage fought both Blond Bombers and lost, setting up the match at Six Flags.

 

Here comes Tank Toland, Chad Toland, Ken Anderson, Jillian Hall, and Melissa Coates for an interview. Ken Anderson is now "Mr. Anderson" or something. He claims everyone is a "natural blonde" and is "over six foot two". Tank Toland says they are the "alpha males" and are the "top of the food chain". Tank says he beat Chris Cage all by himself last week and Chad would have beaten Cage if Cage wasn't a cheater.

 

- OVW Live in Vernon. 6 big matches July 8.

 

- Let us take you back to last week with The Thrillseekers v.s. Osama and Da Beast. Mo Greene interfered to help the heels win.

 

- Osama and Da Beast v.s. Chet the Jet and Nick Nemuth. Pretty dull match. Mo Green sits in on commentary and explains after the Heartbreakers "stabbed him in the back" and left him behind in OVW, he looked for a new team. He asked the Thrillseekers if he could manage them and they told him no, so he went to Osama and Da Beast and now he's going to get his revenge on them for turning him down. Anyway, Osama and the Da Beast finally win clean with a sidewalk slam/elbow combination doubleteam.

 

- Ken Donne (w/ Kenny Bolin) v.s. Deuce Shade. Beat the Champ TV Title match. Deuce Shade was Jimmy Snuka, Jr before, now he's got some kind of lame "The Gambler"/Kill Bill gimmick. He throws a deck of cards into the crowd. Deuce hits a nice top rope legdrop/armbreaker and later a top rope leg lariat, but this is quite dull. Cornette hard sells the Six Flags Show. Donne hits the Donneation for a 2 count and he can't believe it. Bolin tries to hit Shade with the briefcase but gets punched out. Mike Mondo runs in and hits Shade with the briefcase. Elbow drop by Donne and he gets a 3 count. Donne is the new TV champ and gets ... one thousand dollars. Blaster hits a powerslam on Shade. Albright and Elijah Burke hit the ring and clean house until Bolin throws powder in their eyes. Cornette goes crazy and says "THAT'S TOO DAMN MUCH" and hits the ring. He starts punching Bolin like crazy. Hill goes "OH JESUS, NO" as Donne decks Cornette and Blaster Lasheley gives him a big powerslam. Bolin takes his shoes and sock off and Donne makes Cornette kiss Bolin's foot. Hill is really racking up the "JESUS" count here as he gets another mention and a "Good GAWD" in. There's a huge pop! It's Eugene with a KENDO STICK. Huge "EUGENE" chant. Dinsmore goes crazy and clears the ring with Kendo stick shots. Cornette and Eugene hug. We'll be back with a final word from Team OVW.

 

- Cornette cuts a classic promo to close out the show. Deuce Shade will be guarding the door with a kendo stick. He says Mama Dinsmore named him Nick but the world knows him as Eugene and he will be the third man in Team OVW. Lots of great lines in this one as Cornette uses a bottle of water to try to wash the taste of Bolin's foot.

 

Wow... this show was very dull, but that angle at the end was super-hot and a great promo by Cornette saved it. The stuff at the end makes the show worth checking out this week.

[Fro 0]

OVW TV Report for 7/2/05

 

Your Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean “The Hammer” Hill

 

Tonight, a WWE superstar is revealed for the next Six Flags show, Brent Albright v.s. Aaron “The Idol” Stevens for the OVW Title, Bolin Services v.s. Elijah Burke and Deuce Shade, but first, let's go to the ring.

 

Chet the Jet/Nick Nemeth v.s. Robbie Dauber/Vik Delicious

 

Nemuth and Chet pick up the win. Slightly better action here than most OVW matches as far as spots go but no psychology or story at all from these guys who are still green. Cornette tried to put over Nemuth as having huge potential.

 

Let us take you back to the hot angle from last week when Doane pinned Deuce Shade with help from Bolin Services. Elijah Burke and Brent Albright tried to make the save but got powder thrown in their eyes, which caused Cornette to go nuclear and rush the ring, screaming “that's TOO DAMN MUCH”. Eugene made the save with a kendo stick to clear the ring!

 

Brent Albright/Mike Mondo (w/ Kenny Bolin and Ms. Blue) are out to the ring. Dean Hill is in the ring to interview Bolin. Bolin introduces TV Champion Ken Doane with a bunch of hype about how he's the best. He dubs him the “Golden Boy”. Doane's out with some random blonde who's pretty hot and dressed in all white. He's got a new look with some black baggy shorts and spiked up hair. Bolin says kids today want money, cars, and women. He says Doane received the most lucrative contract in the history of Bolin Services, he got a pimped-out Caddy with multiple TVs and DVD players and a maxed out soundsystem to tide him over until he gets a car from the “pimp my ride” guys. Desiree is the OVW name of the chick. She kinda looks like a cleaned up and tats removed Angel Williams, so that's who it might be. Bolin says Ken is like a son to him now. Doane says Cornette says he's being held back and he's going to be a younger world champion than Orton was and he's better than Orton in every way. Cornette cuts him off and is reading a letter than Randy Orton. Orton says hello to his fans in OVW. Orton has read the reports of what Doane has said about him. Orton says he is not yet cleared to wrestle, but as a man he will be at Six Flags on July 15th to confront Doane. Bolin declares war on Jim Cornette. Bolin actually says “you'd better be smarter than George Bush and pull your troops out of this war because there's going to be casualities!” Wow, when OVW wrestlers are ripping on Bush you know he's history. Doane says after Six Flag, he will be known as the real Legend-Killer, and does the Orton pose in the middle of the ring!

 

Aaron “The Idol” Stevens (w/ Beth Phoenix) v.s. Brent Albright for the OVW Championship.

 

I wonder if they'll acknowledge Phoenix is Albright's storyline cousin Stevens says Albright can't put the crowbar on him. Stevens says he has perfected the figure-four leglock and it will now forever be known as the Idollock. Stevens talking about breaking Albright's legs gets Beth Phoenix all hot and bothered. Some okay mat wrestling to start. Stevens tries to brawl with Albright after losing that exchange and gets tossed out of the ring Phoenix distracts Albright and Stevens clips Albright's leg. Leg into the ringpost and few times. 2 count once we get back in the ring. Idol comes back with some generic work on the knee. He goes for the figure four, but it is blocked into a rollup by Albright for 2. Clothesline to Idol. Several. He goes for a T-Bone suplex but his knee is too hurt. Stevens off the ropes and gets belly-2-bellied for 2. Dropkick to the knee and Idol is back in control. Stevens goes for a pin, but Albright does a swank counter into the crowbar. Phoenix pulls Stevens to the ropes. Idol tries to jump Albright from behind, but he gets backdropped over the top rope. That's a DQ in OVW and Stevens wins the match! Solid match, nothing special though. Albright grabs Phoenix, but Idol goes to the leg. Figure Four leglock. Refs and plain-closed guys come out to breakup the figure four. Albright can't stand up. We'll be back with a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT about the Southern Tag Team Titles!

 

OVW in Vernon Indiana Friday!

 

WWE RAW IN LOUISVILLE WITH CHRIS BENOIT

 

Here come the Thrillseekers to the ring. Ringrats go nuts. Cornette has an important announcement. He announces July 16th at the WWE Louisville Raw event, Thrillseekers v.s. Blonde Bombers. Jeter takes the mic for a surely painful promo. He makes RVD seem like the Rock. Cornette says “well there you have it”, and here comes the Blonde Bombers on cue. Jillian Hall is just wearing the tag team belts as a bikini. The entourage is Ken Anderson and Jillian Hall tonight with Tank and Chad Toland. Tank says the Thrillseekers have bodies of 12-year old girls. He says they only have to defend the titles once every 30 days. He says they just defended them at Derby Park so they don't have to defend the belts. Matt does a Joel Gertner “WELL WELL WELL” for no reason. He calls them scared. Anderson is about to lose it. He says he's got a couple buddies coming into town. July 15th, it's going to be Anderson's friends against the Thrillseekers at Six Flags. They are former World Tag Team Champions. If the Thrillseekers beat them, they get a title shot. Cornette says they don't have to do this. Anderson calls them chickens. Thrillseekers take a couple shots at them. Next our TV main event.

 

Let's show you what happened last week on a nontelevised match. Skyfire and some guy taking on Robert Fury and Vik Delicious. My GAWD. It's the Black guy who got cut from tough enough for lying about his age. Clothesline from the top. Zombie situp! He's sort of dressed like Papa Shango. He's singing “Jimmy Crack Corn”. This is very, very, weird. He's cutting a Warrior-riffic promo talking about putting your kids to sleep at night. He says he never had a mother and father. He says he's not afraid of the Boogieman. I AM THE BOOGIEMAN. I can't tell whether this is the greatest thing ever or wrestlecrap. He goes after the guard rail around the and scares the shit out of everyone. He crawls out the emergency exit of the building backwards!

 

Cornette is back at the announce desk and he explains that was Martin Wright, who was a Tough Enough IV finalist but he got cut for lying about his background which includes a history of mental illness. Cornette says some wrestlers adopt public personas to intimidate their opponents, but this guy is the real deal. He says OVW has declined to train him, and if you see this man on OVW property, please stay the hell away from him. Our TV Main event is next!

 

Blaster Lasheley & “The Giantkiller” Mike Mondo (w/ Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin and Ms. Blue) v.s. Elijah Burke & Deuce Shade.

 

Burke and Shade hit the ring during the ring intros and doubleteam Lasheley. Double elbows for everyone. Shade and Mondo in to start. Elbows to Mondo. Clothesline from the 2nd rope gets 2. Burke in. Hiptosses. 2 count. Shade back in with a slingshot splash. Mondo with a clothesline. Lasheley in illegally but Burke takes it to him. Shoulderblock, flying forearm takes him down. X-Factor on Mondo but the ref is distracted. Ken Doane in and hits a NICE RKO on Burke. Mondo gets the 3 count!

 

Winners: Bolin Services.

 

A couple other refs come from the back and try to tell the ref what happened (Doane cheating), but Mondo takes them out. Bolin waves to the back... it's BIG GUIDO. Cornette says “By gawd, he's gotta be 7 feet tall!”. A bunch of jobbers come out of the back but Guido holds them off. We gotta get some help. Cornette says he has no business in the ring. Burke's eye is busted up. We're outta time! Bolin has declared WAR!

[Fro 0]

OVW TV Report for 7/9/05:

The Last Dance or Cornette's Last Stand...

 

Taped on 7/6/05 from the New Davis Arena in Louisville KY

 

Let the BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

 

Your Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean “The Howard Cosell of Kentuckiana “ Hill

 

Tonight, Elijah Burke v.s. “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (ooo, what a match to go out on!), war between Team OVW and Bolin Services, the controversy continues between “The Shooter” Brent Albright and Aaron “The Idol” Stevens, my gawd, it's deafening in here!

 

Chris Cage/Nick Nemeth v.s. ???

 

I really like the look of Cage and Nemeth as a team coming out. We'll see how they look in the ring. And their opponents...

 

It's Danny Doring and Roadkill (w/ Tank Toland, Chad Toland, Ken Anderson, and Jillian Hall). Cornette tells us these two are the former World Champions who will fight the Thrillseekers at Six Flags. I mark for how Dean Hill announces Roadkill's name. Roadkill does the pose! Chris Kay is your referee, kickin things off on the WB!

 

Cornette says it looks like Roadkill came off the top of a wedding cake, and being former ECW World Tag Champions was like being the “nicest guy in prison, it's not much of an honor”. Doring and Cage start. The Tolands join us for commentary. Basically, the Thrillseekers have to beat Doring/Roadkill to get a shot at the Tolands aka the Blonde Bombers these days. Doring/Cage work off a headlock. Leapdrog, dropkick, 2 count by Cage. Nemeth and Roadkil in. Roadkill pose! Kick to the gut, crappy punches, Nemeth punches away on Roadkill, then hits a spinning headscissors that looks all crappy cuz Roadkill is selling it. Doubleteam, double elbow on Roadkill, 2 count. Cornette says “Roadkill is living up to his name”. Roadkill runs into an elbow, dropkick off the 2nd rope by Cage gets 2. Tank says on commentary they're being good spots to even let the Thrillseekers have a chance to get a title shot. Cage collides with Doring after being whipped into the ropes, and Roadkill gives him a slam. Vaderbomb off the 2nd rope gets 2. Doring in now. HART ATTACK! 2 count. Doring stomps away, drops some elbows. Roadkill in, kick to the gut. Scooop slam. Roadkill goes for a splash off the top, but he misses. Doring in, Cage rolls out of his way and tags in Nemeth. Punches for everyone! Backdrop! Dropkick. Superkick to Doring, Roadkill breaks it up. Cage in on Roadkill. The ref acttually does his job and gets Cage out of the ring, allowing Roadkill and Doring to doubleteam Nemeth. Roadkill holds Nemeth in a wheelbarrow position and Doring comes off the top rope with a legdrop to vegamatic him! 3 count. I'm sure that has some sort of ECW name but my mind is blank. Weak ECW chants.

 

Next, an interview with team OVW!

 

Derby Park Expo 5, steal the next WWE PPV with OVW!

 

See RAW LIVE with BATISTA, HHH, Benjamin, Ric Flair, and CHRIS BENOIT, plus Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Edge and MORE

 

Cornette is at the announce desk introducing a recap. It started as a tag match but ended in a riot!

 

<Burke in. Hiptosses. 2 count. Shade back in with a slingshot splash. Mondo with a clothesline. Lasheley in illegally but Burke takes it to him. Shoulderblock, flying forearm takes him down. X-Factor on Mondo but the ref is distracted. Ken Doane in and hits a NICE RKO on Burke. Mondo gets the 3 count!

 

A couple other refs come from the back and try to tell the ref what happened (Doane cheating), but Mondo takes them out. Bolin waves to the back... it's BIG GUIDO. Cornette says “By gawd, he's gotta be 7 feet tall!”. A bunch of jobbers come out of the back but Guido holds them off. We gotta get some help. Cornette says he has no business in the ring. Burke's eye is busted up. We're outta time! Bolin has declared WAR!>

 

Back “live”, here comes Elijah Burke and Deuce Shade to the ring. They play Shade's music which disappoints me greatly. Cornette introduces them and shakes their hands. Cornette says this Friday, Bolin Services is going to have a war! Shade says Bolin Services has declared war. You can tell he got the Jimmy Snuka Jr gimmick because he can't cut a promo to save his life. Shade says he made a few calls to Vegas and talked to a bookie. All the odds, everyone is betting on Team OVW. Shade knows the bookies at thegreek.com? They are going to experience some bombs from Team OVW. Burke says he knows about experiences, he had 8 experiences last week from the vicious attack last week. It failed in comprarsion to what they're going to do to BS. Brother this is a war we're gonna finish. Come 6 flags, me Deucemaster, we're gonna get funky like a monkey!

 

Cornette says this isn't a normal tag match, this is going to be a COWARD WAVES THE FLAG MATCH. The match can't be stopped until the cornerman for one team waves the white flag. Bolin will be in one corner... and the other cornerman is going to be... Jim Cornette! He's going to be there. Whoops, that might be a problem, now you've screwed over a Six Flags event WWE. Cornette calls Bolin a gutless coward and he's going to be waving the flag. Cornette doesn't care, he's never going to wave the flag even if his guys have bones sticking out of their legs. Cornette says Bolin is a gutless coward, and when he sees his life investment Bolin Services in the middle of that ring pummeled in the middle of the ring, he's going to wave the flag. His wrestlers can beg the referee, but the ref will say he can't stop it, only Bolin can. Team OVW is going to make sure Bolin Services has the worst day of their life.

 

Update on the OVW title... next!

 

Six Flags Summer Sizzler Series. Randy Orton face to face with Ken Doane. Team OVW v.s. Team Bolin Services. Cornette says he'll be in Team OVW's corner again here. Brent Albright v.s. Aaraon “The Idol” Stevens. Thrillseekers v.s. Doring/Roadkill. Plus two more BIG MATCHES!

 

Cornette is gonna talk and take us back to last week... ZZZZ. Read the report. Basically Idol slaps the figure four on Albright after the match outside th ring.

 

Let us take you to pretaped comments from Brent Albright, being interviewed by Maria. Maria doesn't sound like a ditz. Albright says it's going to take more than one submission hold to hang with the shooter. You can't hang with a 7-time freestyle wrestling champion who has the most devasting hold in pro wrestling today, the Crowbar. On July 15, it's going to be the crowbar v.s. The Idollock. After the match, the title and your arm all go home with me! Great promo.

 

Here comes

 

Aaron “The Idol” Stevens” (w/ Beth Phoenix) v.s. Chet the Jet.

 

Fat ringrat chants for Chet. Idol backs Chet into the corner. Cornette explains how the top-rope rule works in OVW. Chet taunts Idol as he gets the better of a couple exchanges. Shoulderblock. Akward wrestling sequence. Lots of headlocks and headscissors but it looked sloppy. Kick to the nuts by Chet, suplex. 2 count. Chop, chop, whip to the buckle, reversed, elbow, Phoenix on the apron and rakes Chet's eyes. Chop block, kick to the knee a few times by Idol. Idol cranks on Chet's knee. Some unique legwork offense here. Chet fights back but gets kicked in the knee. He goes for another kick to the knee but Chet spins around and clotheslines him. Plenty of punches. Suplex into a Falcon Arrow for 2. Chet screws up, hits his knee on the buckle, Idol-Lock! Chet taps! He won't break the hold. Here's Brent Albright. He rolls Chet over, reversing the pressure of the figure-four and then locks in the Crowbar on Stevens' arm. Stevens taps like crazy. Phoenix rakes both their eyes to break the hold up.

 

We'll be back with Seth Skyfire in action!

 

Raw LIVE in Louisville with all the RAW SUPERSTARS... and BATISTA AND CHRIS BENOIT

 

Seth Skyfire v.s. Cliff Compton. I smell Boogieman run-in. Cornette says it sounds like Beatlemania when Seth Skyfire comes out to the ring. Spinning headscissors is botched. Cornette says Seth Skyfire is “So quick he's sudden, and any other Gordon Solie cliches I can think of”. Running dropkick. Oh noes, it's the HALLOWEEN MUSIC! Cornette says “our sound man has obviously made a miscue”. My god, it's the Boogieman out from the ring apron. He's got INFLATABLE HORNS ON! And a STAFF! Cornette says he must have been under the ring since this afternoon. Cornette says this man has a history of violent assault. The wrestlers and refs bail. He definitely has Warryah style facepaint on. Cornette says this man lied about his record when he was on Tough Enough. He gets the mic and goes

 

HAHAHAHA. He says the Itsy Bitsy Spider song and the crowd laughs. BOOGIEMAN. BECAUSE YOU CHILDREN FEAR BOOGIEMAN HAHAH! YES AND YOU ADULTS YOU BEGIN YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU NOT AFRAID OF the BOOGIEMAN WELL YOU SHOULD BE HAHAH YEAS THIS FRIDAY NIGHT WHEN DARKNESS FALLS ON SIX FLAGS HAHAHA. YES I WILL MAKE ALL OF YOU BELIEVE IN the BOOGIEMAN BECAUSE THE BOOGIEMAN IS REAL THE BOOGIEMAN IS HERE THE BOOGIEMAN WILL MAKE YOU BELIEVE WILL MAKE YOU ALL BELIEVEEE BOOM-SHAKKA-LAKKA! (Yes, I'm not shitting you, he said "BOOM-SHAKKA-LAKKA" like he just dunked in NBA Jam).

 

It took him about 2 minutes to say that.

 

ROTFL, that was GREAT! Cornette says Six Flags is no place for someone this mentally unstable. This totally worked on a Plan 9 from Outer Space Level. Crowd chants “BOOGIEMAN”. He goes after some little kid in the front row, and goes out the emergency exit BACKWARDS as Cornette screams to go to break!

 

Okay here comes Bolin Services. Here's Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin, Ms. Blue, “The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo on Big Guido's shoulders FBI-style, Blaster Lasheley, “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane with Desiree and the TV title trophy. Whew. Dean Hill is doing this interview. He says Bolin Services will have all they can handle at Six Flags this weekend. When it comes to Randy Orton, Ken Doane can handle anything.

 

This Friday night, Ken Doane will prove why he is the best in the business today. He says Orton's record will be dust in the wind. Bolin says he's a ruthless heartless CEO and he could care less about the wrestlers' pain. He'll never wave the flag. He asks Mondo if he wants him to wave the flag and Mondo says he'll never surrender. Don't ever utter those words again. You want a war, you've got a war. You want a fight, you got a fight. It's going to be a dog fight, because we're going to punch and kick and do whatever it takes to survive. Ms. Blue hands a Boxing Pad to Bolin and Mondo throws some punches at it. At Six Flags, there's going to be no whistle-blowing, bring everything that you have, I'm going to show you guys what gutcheck time is. Blaster Lasheley says wave that flag in his squeaky voice. God, he sounds like Michael Jackson trying to talk in a deep voice. He says as far as the flag goes, we don't need a flag. Bolin says he brought in Big Guido to be his bodyguard so that nobody could make him wave the flag, and he swears on his father's grave he won't wave it this Friday!

 

Next: Ken Doane v.s. Elijah Burke for the TV title.

 

Elijah Burke v.s. Ken Doane (w/ Desiree and Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin)

 

Burke's right eye is bandaged up. Burke throws Doane into the ring and punches away on him. This should be good, with two guys who should be at least WWE midcarders in a year or two. He punches away like crazy. Head to the buckle. Doane tries to bail but gets punched. Whip to the buckle, backdrop! Cover, 2 count. Scoooop slam. Shade comes to ringside to guard Elijah Burke's corner. Burke goes up top... but Doane knocks the ref into the ropes and Burke falls violently off! 2 count. Doane stomps away. Head to the buckle. Punch to the back of the head. 2 count. He pulls off the bandage around Burke's eye. Burke tries to fight back but eats a knee. Head to the buckle. Scoop slam. Stone Cold elbow drop. 2 count. Head to the buckle blocked, Doane to the buckle! Doane comes back with a thumb to the injured eye. Doane acts like he kicks Burke on the apron, but he misses by a mile. Burke still rolls out of the ring. Burke thrown back in the ring. “Porky” chants. 2 count. Elbows, kicks, stomps in the corner. Bolin attempts to choke Burke in the corner but Deuce Shade chases him away. Kneedrop, 2 count. Man, this kick has the WWE style down already. Whip to the ropes, elbow. Reverse chinlock, cranking on it Orton style. Burke fights back. Whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked. Double crossbody at the same time and the ref counts to 10. Both men up. Burke gives him some big punches and kicks, chops, clothesline. Atomic drop. Flying forearm. 2 count. Whip to the buckle, Doane moves out of the way but Burke grabs him and whips him into the buckle again (that looked like a blown spot). Burke misses with a splash into the corner. Spinebuster by Burke! Bolin distracts the ref. Shade gets Bolin. Desiree hits Burke in the nards. Ring the bell, that's a DQ. Here comes Mondo and Lasheley. Cornette says “This Whole Arena has GONE WILD” as the crowd is dead silent. Shade triple teamed. He tries to fight them off to no avail. Powerslam on Shade by Lasheley. Burke in the ring with a kendo stick. By Gawd! He's laying it to them. It's going to be a war this night at Six Flags.

 

Okay, not as good of a show as it looked on paper from Ffing through it.

 

Is this the end of Jim Cornette? We'll find out VERY soon.

[Fro 0]

We are now leaving THE TWILIGHT ZONE on Louisville's WBKI!

 

Stay Tuned for A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT From OVW Owner Danny Davis

 

Davis in here in a pretaped statement in front of a blue screen. In 1999, OVW got the chance of a lifetime when Jim Cornette joined OVW. Jim worked tirelessly to provide OVW as the premiere training ground for WWE. His good friend Jim Cornette is stepping down from OVW's matchmaker position and the TV commentary position. Instead, he is pursuing other avenues to expand OVW and it's operations (SCREW YOU WWE!) Davis thanks Cornette for all his accomplishments in the wrestling industry.

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOR!

 

THQ'S DESTROY ALL HUMANS PRESENTS: OHIO VALLEY WRESTLING

 

Your Hosts are Dean “ie the Martini” Hill and Al Snow

Your Booker is Paul Heyman (!)

Taped from the New Davis Arena in Louisville, KY on July 13th

 

Let's take you to the ring where Maria(!) welcomes us to OVW and introduces Danny Doring and ROADKILL. Dang, Lillian better watch out, she's got potential. Loud “E C DUB” chants. Doring goes to kiss Maria but Roadkill covers his mouth since that's not the Amish way apparently. AND YOUR NEXT TAG TEAM... it's the Thrillseekers.

 

Danny Doring and ROADKILL v.s. The Thrillseekers (Johnny Jeter and Matt Cappotelli)

 

Dean Hill at ringside with Al Snow. Hopefully Heyman can keep them on track. Snow continues Cornette's tradition of giving Hill a new nickname at the start of the show. This is a rematch from Six Flags (which actually happened after this match was taped... how confusing!). Hill gets his “Chris Kay is your referee, kickin' things off on the Dubya B” catchphrase in. Jeter and Doring to start. Tie up, waistlock. Wristlock. Punches by Doring. Snow is exciting to be back on the air in OVW. Go Jeter Go chants!. Blind tag to Captoelli whose last name I will misspell differently every time this week.. Some kind of neckbreaker by Jeter and then Matt bounces off the ropes a few times and hits the D'Lo Brown legdrop.

 

I'm sure Matt is going to get some lame fake first name from South Park now that Hardy is back (Stan? Kyle?). 2 count. Jeter in off the top rope on an axehandle. Thumb to the eye, clothesline by Doring to get back control. Roadkill in. Clubbering forearms. Whip to the ropes... BLACK HOLE SLAM! Jesus, they're teaching every moderately big guy in OVW that move now. Big Slam, sidewalk slam to Cappotelli. Vader bomb off the 2nd rope on Jeter. Jeter kicks out. Jeter fights back with fists. You can already tell these guys are wrestling harder than in the Cornette era. Cornette's name I also frequently misspell typing it up for some reason. Doring in... HART ATTACK. 2 count when Cappotelli breaks it up. Roadkill comes in but the ref actually stops the heel! Doring goes for a suplex by Cappotelli catches Jeter on the way down... double superkick!! 3-count

 

Winners: The Thrillseekers

 

Tonight, The Shooter v.s. “Mr” Ken Anderson. Let's go to pretaped comments from Ken Anderson in the locker room as he tapes up his fists. Tonight he's going to be OVW champion and that will bring him a lot of opportunities. He wants the whole world to know who I am. One thing, eyeball to eyball, that's how I do business man to man. Tonight I'm willing to do anything, anything... to take your title. Tonight there will be a new OVW Heayvweight Champion. His Name is Ken Anderson. Good promo.

 

Cornette's Voice LIVES. OVW Live at the Derby Park Expo 5! Steal the WWE PPV the Great American Bash with OVW!

 

Dean Hill voices over a bumper for OVW in Etown Ky.

 

As we come back, Doring grabs a cameraman backstage (!!, no magic invisible camera), and goes to the Thrillseekers with Roadkill. Doring says you guys beat us tonight and you guys are the better tag team. He shakes their hand. You guys made believers out of us. If anyone in OVW is not a believer, they can go choke... “THEIR CHICKENS” says Roadkill, as he does his pose. The Thrillseekers start laughing and shake their hands and say “that guy's cool”.

 

“The Giant Killer” Mike Mondo is out. No Bolin at the moment because he's in a meeting with Ken Doane.

 

Mike Mondo v.s. Elijah Burke

 

Wow, this should be good. Chain wrestling to start. Mondo gets a headlock, whip, Mondo holds on to the afro. Burke gets a headlock and then he grabs Mondo's hair when he tries to run out of it. 2 count. Shoulderlbok, Leapfrog---> atromic drop, dropkick, 2 count. Back to the headlock. 2 count. Another shoulderblock. Clothesline off the 2nd rope misses and Mondo gets a 2 count. Crossfaces to Burke. Burke comes back. Kneedrop by Mondo gets 2. Snow isn't annoying yet tonight which is an improvement. Face to the knee by Mondo. Reverse neckbreaker, 2 count. Another 2 count. Another 2 count. Mondo hits the boring CHINLOCK! Burke makes goofy faces and sticks out his hand to channel the crowd's FIGHTING SPIRIT . Mondo hits a sleeper, countered with a jawbreaker. Right hands, right hands. Big uppercut, clothesline, Russian legsweep, 2 count for Burke. Sky high powerbomb... 2.999! Burke calls for it, blocked, rollup blocked. Mondo hotshots him on the top rope, grabs the tights... 2.99!!

 

Afro to the turnbuckle. Whip to the corner, Mondo rolls through but gets backslided.. 3 count!

 

Your Winner: Elijah Burke

 

2 for 2 so far. The lovely Maria is backstage with Alexis Laree. Maria got a brain transplant apparently that only works in Louisville. Laree says today is going to be a career changing moment. Anderson interrupts her and says he's going to be getting a title shot and all the hot chicks in Kentuckiana are gonna want to want to be with me. Go buy me some ham and eggs (points to Alexis). Laree looks pissed. Anderson says if you're pissed that I'm not a Southern Gentlemen, do something about it. Laree calls him a jerk and makes a hand like she's going to claw him but leaves out of the camera frame. Anderson says he's not a jerk, he's a BLEEEEEEP. He goes to hit on Maria but Albright interrupts him. Albright says try beating up on someone your own size. Anderson fakes being scared. Albright slaps him. Hey Ken Anderson, I just picked a fight with you, and I'll see you in the ring TONIGHT. Staredown!

 

Man, Heyman really gets how to book these guys, that sounded like a Benoit promo.

 

OVW returns to the VERNON Gym, call Jerome Croney for info! They actually give out his phone number on air.

 

OVW in London, KY!

 

It's slow-motion highlights of Randy Orton and audio of a phone call from Randy Orton. He apologizes to the fans for missing the last Six Flags Show. Orton says he is the Legend Killer and runs down everyone who he's beaten and how he was in Evolutoin, longest reigning IC champ, youngest WWE champion, blah blah blah. Orton says he's coming down July 29th to confront Ken Doane and put “an end to your mouth”.

 

Quick cut to the ring where Ken Doane (w/ Desiree and Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin) is in the ring. RKO Chant. Doane says he hears it everywhere. He says bull@#$%. I will prove once in for all that I am the future of the business today. Blaster Lasheley is there too, apparently. He says he's going to beat Orton with the RKO not because he likes the move, but because he can. Randy Orton, after Six Flags, I hope you enjoy being number two, because Ken Doane is number one. Bring out my opponent.

 

OVW TV Champion “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Bolin Services) v.s. Nick Nemeth

 

RKO immediately when Nemeth hits the ring! Nemeth is dead. Doane hits the Orton Pose as Desiree starts grinding up and down on him. No match, apparently. Doane is still frozen in the ORTON POSE as we go to break.

 

Six Flags Summer Sizzler. Ken Doane v.s. Randy Orton in a RKO Challenge. More Matches NEXT WEEK.

 

Let's go to the BOOGEYMAN backstage. B-O-O-G-E-Y-M-A-N. (to the tune of the ABC song) I'M DA BOOGEYMAN. AND SOMEONE'S GONNA DIE. SO TONIGHT AFTER THIS TV SHOW IS OFF THE AIR HAAHA YOU ALL GO TO SLEEP NOW YOU HEAR HAHAHAH EVIL LAUGHING

 

Hill calls the Boogeyman twisted. I think it's twisted that someone thinks this gimmick is a good idea. Here comes the Tag Team Champions, the Blonde Bombers w/ Jillian Hall.

 

The Blonde Bombers (Tank and Chad Toland w/ Jillian Hall) v.s. Seth Skyfire and Chris Cage.

 

Wow, this should be good too. Hill calls the Bombers “Tank and CHAD THE TOLANDS”. Cage is Tank Toland's former tag team partner from a year ago and Skyfire's partner was injured by these two, so these team makes a lot of sense. Tag Belts on the line... NEXT

 

Everyone in the ring to start, and it comes down to Cage and Tank to start. Backdrop. Whip to the buckle, Tank comes off and runs into the Hitman Bulldog. Kneedrop. 2-count. Double whip, double hiptoss, double elbow and Skyfire is in. 2 count. Kick to the gut. Chad in. Kicks to the gut. Wristlock. Flippy flop to reverse to a headlock. Shoulderblock. Snow calls Chad Toland “Chad Wicks” a few times since he hasn't made his quota of fucking up the commentary this week. Hiptoss blocked by Chad, duck, spinning headscissors by Skyfire. Tank comes in to interfere but Skyfire comes off the top rope over the ref to give him a spinning kick! I can only describe the next move as a body walk dropsault. Skyfire whipped to the buckle but climbs to the top... this side kick misses! Snow calls Chad “Wicks” again. 2 count. Tank in. Punch to the back. Face to the knee. Elbowdrop. 2 count. Chad back in. Punches to the back. Whip to the buckle, stomp. Tank in, Chad holds the legs up so Tank can drop an elbow. 2 count. Cravate(~!). Jillian Hall slaps the canvas with her hands which causes FIGHTING SPIRIT(~!) to transfer from the crowd to Skyfire. The cameraman zooms in a bit on her implant breasts bouncing upppp and down, uppp and down. Armdrag. Chad gets backdropped but Skyfire hurts his back. Trading punches. Chad takes out Chris Cage. Skyfire flips off and goes for a tag but there's no Cage! Chad up to the top, Vegematic! This gets a “JESUS H. CHRIST” from Dean Hill.

 

You Winners: “The Tolands”. Ken Anderson hits the ring and grabs the mic since he hasn't had enough promo time. He high-fives everyone. Don't go anywhere... because I want you sitting front row and show you how good the OVW Heavyweight title looks on MEEE KEN ANDERSON. Let's get this show started! Albright get your BUTT out here riiight freaking noooow!

 

UP NEXT IT'S ABOUT TO SPLODE!

 

OVW Heavyweight Title

Ken Anderson (w/ Jillian Hall, Chad, and Tank Toland) v.s. Champion Brent “The Shooter” Albright

 

Skyfire and Cage are still being helped out of the ring when we come back. This is your TV main event. It looks like Cage and Skyfire will stay at ringside to protect Albright's back.

 

Dan Puder is out. He stares down both men! Ken Anderson, you're the hottest prospect in OVW today, you took my spot... I want it back!! Hold on one second. Brent Albright, you are the OVW Heavyweight Champion. You're a shooter, well, I'm a shooter too. I hooked Kurt Angle with my keylock but I had to show him mercy to protect his career. I think I can do that to you too. Puder challenges the winner of this match... at Kentucky Kingdom. Puder looks a lot bigger than he did on Smackdown, probably because OVW is full of midgets now.

 

Anderson and Albright lockup, Albright goes for a waistlock and does some mat wrestling which is nifty but I'm too lazy to describe here. They roll around a bit, amateur style. Albright finally gets a headlock. Armbar setting up for the crowbar. Anderson reverses. Albright runs Anderson out to the floor to break the hold, then Anderson comes back in and is dumped out of the other side. Cage and Skyfire toss him back in the ring. Anderson takes Albright into the buckle. Anderson looks like mini-Heindreich if he was about 6'2” and could wrestle. Albright goes for the crowbar but Anderson gets to the ropes. Kick to the gut, punch to the back by Anderson. Back to the turnbuckle. Clubberin on the back. Weak “GO Brent Go” chants. Whip to the buckle, undersold by Albright. Albright does his own whip falls down on the way and then Anderson crashes on top of him with a headbutt. My, that was convoluted. Hall distracts the ref. Tank clocks Albright. Cage and Skyfire brawl with Tank and Chad out of the building. Ref does the 10 count, Albright and Anderson get up. Anderson goes for a cheap shot but bails when Albright sees him. And we go to an abrupt break.

 

We're back, both men circling, Anderson with a punch. Punch. Okay, maybe he's not much better than Heidenreich. Head to the buckle. Zzzz. Choked on the ropes. Punch. Belly to back suplex. 2 count. Pace really slowed down. Anderson looks a little gassed after five minutes. Kick to the gut, punch, punch. Albright back with rights. Whip to the ropes, reversed, Anderson elbow. 2 count. Cravate! Is Chris Hero training for OVW now? Albright punches out, Anderson punches him in the back a few times. Choke. Rake to the eyes, more choking, fishhook. Snow says Anderson is totally off his game. Punch, Albright comes back with some stiff looking rights. Anderson clocks him with a flurry of rights and Albright is out on his knees... big boot off the ropes from Anderson! 2 count, no leg hooked. 2 count. 2 count. Snow oversells. Forearm, whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked, Albright gets the waistlock, DRAGON RELEASE SUPLEX! (Called WHATTA Suplex). Albright goes for the pin, gets 2.9. Dean: How in the wide world of sports is he able to kick out of that? Albright chops away on Anderson, whip, backdrop telegraphed and kick by Anderson. Suplex blocked twice... ROLL OF THE DICE by Albright! Nice sequence. 2 count. Forearms by Albright. Whip to the corner, revesred, Anderson gets him and gives him a rolling slam from a Samoan Drop position. 2.999! Albright is dead... Anderson goes for a big neckbreaker, reversed by Albright into a Dragon Sleeper, then straight into the crowbar!!! Anderson taps like crazy.

 

Your Winner: Brent Albright.

 

Snow sells it like we just saw Flair/Steamboat. Hey it was a good match, I admit. Albright gets his hand raised. Crowd chants “YOU TAPPED OUT!” Anderson calls for the music to be cut off. Anderson and Albright shake hands because they respect the Code of Honour. Anderson leaves... Albright poses, Puder runs in and hooks in the keylock, Anderson tries to roll out but Puder is shootin! Albright pounds away on him. Anderson and a bunch of refs try to pull him off, but they can't break it! Al Snow comes in and since he's a badass or something he breaks the hold. Puder looks over Snow and Albright. Puder SUCKS chants. Snow calls for medical attention. WHAT HAS PUDER ACCOMPLISHED TONIGHT?

 

Nice debut for Paul Heyman in the booking spot, with good angles and better wrestling than we have seen in OVW in a long while.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

*Saturday night TV Spoilers, taped last night.*

 

Dark Match, before the TV show

Seth Skyfire defeated Nigel McGuiness, with a top rope legdrop.

 

TV Show

 

Singles Match

Daniel Puder (with Mr. Ken Anderson) defeated Seth Skyfire, by tapout.

 

Singles Match

Aaron "The Idol" Stevens (with Beth Pheniox & some other girl) defeated Robert Fury.

 

Singles Match

Deuce Shade defeated Dean "The Dream" Visk.

 

Non-Title Tag Team Match

OVW Southern Tag Champions, The Tolands defeated two jobbers.

 

OVW Heavyweight Title Match

Johnny Jeter defeated "The Shooter" Brent Albright, to become the new OVW Heavyweight Champion. Afterwards, Jeter attacked his former partner Matt Capotelli, saying he doesn't need him anymore, and hit him with the title.

 

Dark Match, after the TV show

Blaster Lashley defeated Danny Inferno.

[Fro 0]

We open with Ken Anderson in the locker room watching last week's show on a big screen TV. Clips are shown in black and white and letterboxed of last week's show as Anderson talks about them. God, this is so Tarantino/ECW style, with Anderson even cutting a Dreamer/Raven type ECW promo. Anyway, read last week's report. The jist of it is Anderson says he may not be a nice guy, but he'd never attack someone from behind. Anderson was impressed with Albright and says he's the man. He always does business face to face. Tonight you will see a different Mr. Anderson. Really cool intro to the show with Anderson's promo acting as a recap and a prologue to this week's show, almost in a sort of narrator context. Buy the frigging July OVW tape already.

 

Let the BODIES Hit the Floor!

 

Maria starts us off and she's lost her IQ points again. It's “Tank and Chad the Tolands” with a “Blonde Bombers” chyron. Ah, Jillian Hall with an unobstructed face. Maria interviews Jillian. Maria is all stupid again. Apparently the Tolands are the most dominant tag team in OVW history or something and they're going to face the winners of a Battle Royal (Seth Skyfire and Paul Burchill OMG SPOILERZ OF A HOUSE SHOW YOU CAN'T GO TO OR SEE UNLESS YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE) at Six Flags. Anyway, Jillian talks about how they've beaten everyone and crap. They're going to draw two random names to fight them tonight. It's Deuce Shade. It's DA BEAST.

 

Blonde Bombers (w/ Jillian Hall) v.s. Deuce Shade/Da Beast

 

Dean Hill says Al Snow is going to be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah right. Da Beast is a small hoss but he looks huge compared to the midget Tolands. Hell, Maria looked huge earlier. Beast tosses the Tolands around until he punches one of them and then hurts his hand. Shade in. He does some cartwheels and moderately impressive moves but I hit FF because I only have a half hour before this week's OVW show starts. Anyway, Jillian inteferes but Shade fights her and Chad off, only to get booted by Tank. Snow isn't calling Toland Wicks this week. One of the Tolands hits the cravate about 3 minutes in. Shade goes for the hot tag at the four minute mark. Beast has left because he's “hurt”. Shade hits his lame comeback, gets cut off, vegematic gets the 3 at exactly 6 minutes.

 

Winners: “The Tolands”.

 

Da Beast stands in front of the announce table while Dean Hill and Al Snow run down the card for this week's show, blocking the camera so you can just see his backside. Cool shot. Hill says we'll talk to you after the break.

 

Cornette's voice lives! Steal the GAB with OVW! OVW card guaranteed to be better than the GAB card!

 

OVW in E-Town!

 

We're back, and Da Beast is cutting a promo. Beast says he would fight for my bruddah, this ain't the streets and Shade isn't Beast's bruddah.

 

Here comes Elijah Burke! He stares down Da Beast. He says Beast abandoned his partner out there. Beast says his hand in broke. Burke says you cross Shade, you cross me. Beast says “go wrestle”.

 

Elijah Burke v.s. Russell Simpson.

 

Some usual stuff to start. Burke reels him in like he's Petey Wiliams about one minute in. X-Factor. Snow says Simpson is done. 1-2-3!

 

Your Winner: Elijah Burke (=~ 1 min)

 

Let's go backstage where we see the camera move up in the hallway to Elijah Burke. Apparently our announcers can talk to the wrestlers this way. Albright has his arm slinged up... in fact it looks exactly like Orlando Jordan's arm was this past week (7/28) on Smackdown. Snow asks Albright for a comment. Albright has no comment about getting keylocked by Puder. Snow badgers him as he goes into the locker room. Doring, Roadkill, and Thrillseekers are in there. Snow gets another “no comment” from Albright. Cappotelli says that's messed up, that was the same move that almost took out Kurt Angle. Albright gets in his face and says Matt needs to show respect and be less concerned about what he did to Kurt Angle and be more concerned about what Puder did to Albright. He's sick of people talking about Kurt Angle. Matt says he needs to get out of his face because he's not the one going after Albright's OVW title... yet. Albright gives him a headlock with his good arm. Albright tells Jeter to control his parnter, which gets Jeter all pissed. Albright says he'll take on anyone as some random jobbers hold him back.

 

OVW in Vernon! OVW in London... KY!

 

Aaron Stevens and Beth Phoenix are out. Here's Ken Anderson out with a mic. He says he does things face to face, eyeball to eyeball. I would never do something behind your back... which brings me to HER. Because... if you'd have seen what she was trying to do in the locker room last week. Stevens turns to look at Phoenix... allowing Anderson to jump him from behind! Big DDT! Anderson shakes Stevens' hand. Rolling Samoan Drop (Rocca Roll). Up to the top... SWANTON BOMB! 3-count. Where'd that come from? Squash!

 

Let's go backstage to where Maria and Alexis Laree are bouncing as Alexis is going to announce her big announcement. Beth Phoenix is whining about Stevens getting beat right off camera and the noise screws the interview up. Cat fight coming. Alexis says Phoenix shouldn't worry about the stuff in the ring from Idol, but who he's doing backstage. Slut! Hooker! Tramp! Maria gives us a “poopy pants”. They make a match for Six Flags and Idol pulls Phoenix away.

 

Backstage, Seth Skyfire is cutting a promo about being in the Battle Royal at Six Flags. OMG the lights go out.. there's some crashing and noise of stuff flying around.

Hahahahaha. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SOUL I'M GOING TO TAKE HOME WITH ME TONIGHT. HAHAHA ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE SLEEPING? HISSSSS. GRUNT AAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM DA BOOGEYMAN AND SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE. EVIL LAUGHING.

 

RIP Seth Skyfire

 

Back at ringside, Hill and Snow have Lawlergasms over the prospect of Beth Phoenix v.s. Alexis Laree at Six Flags. They do some recap of stuff, particularly Ken Doane taking out Ric Flair at Six Flags.

 

Nick Nemeth is out. He says last week Ken Doane, the 19-year punk gave him a RKO and blindslided him. He says Doane overlooked him. Kenny Bolin is out. He starts a promo but Nemeth starts choking him out. He pummels Bolin... but gets RKOed out of nowhere on the concrete! There's Ken Doane! Nemeth is dead. Doane hits the Orton pose in the ring. Jobbers are out to attend to Nemeth as we take a quick break.

 

Doane says... look, is that Seven? Hey, redhead, I'm talking to you. It's Seven/Mordecai/Kevin Fertig. Wasn't he FIRED? He has the baseball cap of annoyance. Doane says you're an OVW legend. Rats chant “Seven”. Doane says if the has been had his gear on, he'd give him a TV title shot. Staredown in the ring. Refs separate them. Seven says he'll take the title and shove it up his ass. Doane says he doesn't have his gear and may not even have a ticket, he's not supposed to be in this building. One of the refs calls Doane chicken and he accepts the challenge.

 

“The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Desiree) v.s. Seven

 

Snow says Seven is on a “World Tour” and just stopped by OVW to say hello. Lots of stalling and a headlock. Hoss shoulderblock. Wristlock and shoulders against the arm and that's your two minutes of action. Shoulderblock. Headbutt. 2 count. Elbow. Clothesline. 2 count. Seven goes for Desiree. Doane goes for the RKO blow , low blow. Doane takes Seven's belt and WHIPS HIM LIKE A GUVAMENT MULE BY GAWD. Chris Kay notices the belt and takes it away. Stomps. Reverse chinlock takes us to the break!

 

Big dropkick by Doane! 2 count. Knees, 2 count. Seven makes his Nash-like comeback, but Doane cuts him off with an eyepoke that gets 2. Doane unhooks the turnbuckle. Doane chokes out Seven with his wrist tape. Big headlock. Elbows by Doane. Headbutt misses. Seven with right hands and more right hands, clothesline. Clothesline. Whip to the buckle, splash, splash. Samoan drop. 2 count. He goes for another Samoan Drop, Doane gets out, ducks a clothesline... DOANEation! 2.99! Doane calls for the RKO.. blocked! Kick to the head, Seven goes for a powerbomb, Doane shakes free and flips off the rope to get to his feet, then hits an RKO! Seven is dead and motionless 3-count.

 

Your Winner: Ken Doane (9:30)

 

Backstage, Puder is coming to the ring.

 

Next week, MNM returns to OVW!

 

Backstage Ms Blue and Mike Mondo tend to Kenny Bolin, who is koed and is talking in a squeaky voice. Quite funny. He freaks out over a medical guy who has a plastic glove on his hand (ala a Prostate exam). Doane and Desiree come in. Doane says he took out Nick Nemeth 2x, Ric Flair, and Seven. One of these things is not like the others. He says this Friday Night at Six Flags, he's coming for Orton!

 

Hill and Snow run down the card for Six Flags at the announce desk.

 

Dan Puder comes out with a mic. Ken Anderson comes out and says he's disappointed in Puder. He says Puder is no man because a man doesn't hit people from behind. Face to face, eyeball to eyeball, blah blah. The day I attacks someone from behind is the day I'm just like you Puder, nothing more than a CHICKENSHIT! Puder says we can go right now. Albright runs in as the two circle. Anderson tries to get Albright to fight Puder. Albright looks to have the better of Puder as Anderson watches. Anderson hits Albright from behind! Puder locks in the keylock! Albright tries to fight out as we go off the air!

 

 

We start with Maria in a hallway as MNM enter the Arena. Maria calls them former tag team championS causing Melina to choke a bitch. OH MY GOD. Melina says she doesn't want to hear that from a Raw girl. Nitro: “How'd she ever get a microphone?”

 

O-V-Dub chants as we go to the ring! Dean Hill says there will be a big announcement or something

 

Ken Anderson/Dan Puder v.s. James Smith and Jason Nelly

 

Ken Anderson does the ring announcing. Looks like OVW finally bought a wireless microphone... which is EXTREME for Louisville. Anderson has a great announcer voice. He says the opposing team weighs in at “935 and ¾ pounds”. Anderson says he's the Franchise of O V Dub and a bunch of other stuff. He repeats his name a few time for kicks. Puder comes out and it's all knuckle-up time or something as he's all MMAed out.

 

Puder starts out and is wrestling totally UFC style! Double leg takedown, waistlock, throwing the guy around. His partner in... sick double leg slam. Mounted punches. Fallaway slam! Ken Anderson gets tagged in and hits the swanton off the top for a 3 count! Anderson/Puder win!

 

Backstage, MNM and The Tolands get in a confrontation over MNM stealing Jillian Hall from them. MNM says they're going to take back the Southern Tag Team Titles. Chad thinks Melina is kinda cute as we leave.

 

 

Chett the Jet v.s “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Desiree, Kenny “Starmaker” Bolin, Ms. Blue, and the TV title trophy)

Doane puts the TV title on the announce desk. Desiree has a new name but I'm too lazy to decipher it (Sosay?)

 

Shoulderblock, Hiptoss blocked, armdrag, another, armbar. Chops. Jet in control. 2 count. Chet goes up top, but Doane dropkicks him off the top! Looks like there's no more “Over the Top Rope = DQ” rule. Doane stomps away as Jet is hung up. 2 count. Elbow. Stone Cold Elbow. 2-Count. Doane chokes Jet with the tape on his wrist. Randy Orton headlock. Doane backdropped over the top rope but holds on, but gets backdropped back in. Clotheslines a plenty, head to the buckle. Stinger splash, bicycle kick to the face gets TWO. 10-punch count in the corner, pushed off, Doane on the 2nd rope.. jumps into a spinebuster for 2.99! Doane goes to bail but is stopped, some whips around and then RKO attempt blocked, Novocaine by Jet gets 2.99!

 

Suplex reversed, spun around, Doane hits the RKO! 1-2-3!

 

Your Winner: Ken Doane

 

Nick Nemuth runs out. Grabs Sosay, kisses her. Doane pissed, Nemuth hits a baseball slide on Bolin. Chases Doane around the ring. Finally hits a RKO on Ken Doane! Play his lame Collective Soul Song. Nemuth hits the Doane ripoff of the Orton pose.

 

Meanwhile in the locker room, MNM run into the Thrillseekers. Matt respects MNM because they represent OVW. MNM say that should have been a speech at Hawk's funeral, what a ruuush. Jeter says they'd like to wrestle them but they already have a match tonight. Matt says he can get that changed. They agree to wrestle later tonight, winner gets a title shot at the Southern Tag Titles. Tension between Jeter and Matt.

 

Here comes Deuce Shade. Hill and Snow run down the next Six Flags card when Da Beast blocks the view of the desk.

 

Deuce Shade v.s. Osama (w/ Mo Green)

 

Total squash more or less for Shade. Hits the Deuce's Wild for the 1-2-3.

 

Beast and Shade face off. Beat goes to hit Shade but his hand is hurt.

 

MNM run into Brent Albright. Albright says the Tolands are a tough team. Any time, any place, he'll put the belt on the line if you guys want to see how tough you really are.

 

MNM v.s. The Thrillseekers (Winner gets Southern Tag Team Title Shot, person scoring the winning pinfall gets an OVW Heavyweight Title shot)

 

MNM get their titantron entrance, which is kinda lame. LOD chants. Great noncensored ass shot from the cameraman.

 

This is your MAIN EVENT.

 

Get a coke or something because this is a long one. First let's take a break.

 

Match starts as we come back. Chris Kay your ref. Mercury and Cappotelli starting off. Collar and Elbow, both guys reverse and push each other around. Waistlock by Matt, reversed. Mercury takes him down. Bit of matwork, Matt gets up. LOD chants from the crowd. Another tieup. Headlock by Matt. Reversed to an armbar, back to the headlock by Matt now. Mercury reverses to his own headlock. Into the ropes, shoulderblock by Mercury, goes for the elbow but nobody home. Armdrag, armbar. Jeter in. Jeter off the top with an axehandle. Kick in the corner, Mercury tags in Nitro. Kicks tin the corner, kneelift, headlock. Into the ropes, shoulderblock, leapfrog on the 2nd try, armdrag by Jeter blocked, kick to the gut, Jeter goes for a Rocker Dropper but gets flipped... Jeter turns it into a rana! Kick to the gut, Matt in. Punch, Head to the buckle, Irish whip to the buckle. Nitro slides in REALLY fast but Matt jumps over him. Armdrag by Matt. Nitro grabs the hair, tags in Mercury, doubleteam in the corner. Head to the buckle, again, chop WOOO. GO MATT GO CHANTS. Chop. Mercury poses, turns around into a choke, Matt comes back with chops. Biiig powerslam, 2 count. Mercury grabs the tights and throws Matt into the 2nd turnbuckle. Nitro in. Double whip, double clothesline ducked, double clothesline by Matt!. Jeter in, double hiptoss, double nipup, double forearm to Mercury outside the ring. Jeter gets a 2 count. Whip, double sledge gets two. Nitro whips Jeter to the buckle, runs into a boot, another armdrag to an armbar. Matt in, axehandle to the arm, thumb to the eye, head to the buckle by Nitro, Mercury in. Suplex, reversed to a waistlock, Mercury pushed into the buckle, Matt follows him in and runs into an elbow. Whip to the buckle, Mercury runs into a boot, but gets pissed and lariats Matt over the top rope!!

 

---

 

Nitro with the big kneelift. Nitro pose. Stomp. Punches. Modified Octopus-type hold from Nitro, into a real Octopus. Nitro exposes his back to the heel corner and tags in Mercurty, who smacks Matt in the back! Nice. Whip, knee to the gut. 2 count. Eddy Guerrero stomp to the face. Melina chokes Matt, which draws Jeter in. Doubleteam stomps. Nitro with kick to the abdomen. Double legdrop, Nitro in between the legs and Mercury on the neck as Mercury is tagged in. 2 count. Whip to the buckle. Big spear into the corner knocks Matt through the ropes. Matt pulled back in, waistlock but Matt draws on his Fighting Spirit. Matt tries to elbow out, but misses an elbow as Mercury releases the hold! Northern Lights Suplex (w/ Bridge) gets 2!! Headlock, Nitro in. Double gutbuster. 2 count. Belly to back suplex attempt, Matt lands on his feet, shoves Nitro into Jeter who punches him, Matt rolls around Nitro to get the tag! Jeter in

 

Clotheslines, flying forearm, backbreaker, 2 count! Whip, a little sequence... jumping spin kick by Jeter(~!~!). 2.99 as Mercury pulls the ref out. Melina distracts the ref. Mercury throws Jeter into the ringpost! Aww yeah, extended Southern Tag Formula baby! Melina gets thrown out! WEGOTTAGOTOABREAK!

 

As we come back from the 30-second break, Jeter tries to fight out of a headlock. Punches, Whip, reversed, sunset flip but blind tag before that! Nitro tagged in. Right hands, 2-count. Leglock by Nitro, Mercury tagged in and drops the leg, 2 count. Jeter tries to fight back as the crowd chants GO JETER GO. A couple punches create space until Mercury comes back with a sick kick to the head. Mercury puts his arm around the ref to tell him something while Nitro elbows Jeter on the apron. Slingshot into the bottom rope. Jeter outside and gets tossed back in. Whip to the heel corner, big clothesline. Nitro chokes him. Mercury steps on Jeter's throat, Nitro in. Headlock sets up crossfaces from Nitro. A couple more. Cravate~! Seriously, is Chris Hero an OVW trainer now? There's a cravate in every match now. 17 minutes in at this point. Punches and an armdrag frees Jeter, but Nitro knocks Matt off the apron! Jeter pulled to the heel corner. Big kneedrop by Mercury behind the ref's back. Suplex. 2 count. Crowd really starting to buzz. Backbreaker. Mercury mocks Heidenreich's arm motion. Big elbow. 2 count thanks to sloppy cover. Nitro tagged in, Mr. Perfect neck snap, Nitro slingshots into the ring with an elbowdrop! Nice! Matt breaks up the pin attempt immediately. Mercurty tagged back in, back rake. Another backbreaker into a submission attempt. Jeter kicks out of the hold. Jeter tries to get to his corner, but gets grabbed by the tights. Scoop slam reversed into a Jeter inverted DDT!! Race to Tag Time! Nitro in to stop Jeter! He grabs a leg but Jeter hops and tags in Matt!!! Punch, clothesline, whip, backdrop! Swinging neckbreaker. Punches in the corner. Whip, MNM sandwiched in the corner, big kneelift, jumping leg lariat on Nitro, Mercury clotheslined over the top rope. Big D'Lo Brown Legdrop... 2.999!! 20 minutes in! Whip, revsered, Mercury grabs Matt. Mercury is grabbed by the hair. Nitro goes to hit Matt, misses and hits Mercury! Rollup, 2.9! Crisscross, double clothesline! Melina back out with a chair. Kay tries to kick her out. Mercury nails Chris Kay from behind! He's out. Mercury takes the chair in the ring. He goes to blister Matt... hits Nitro!! Matt dropkicks the chair into Mercury's face, knocking him outside the ring! Cover, no ref! Matt goes to revive the ref, throws him into the ring gingerly. Matt and Nitro fight, Matt whipped into the ref on the apron! Kick to the gut. Chop by Jeter, Chop by Matt, repeat for about 30 seconds, double chop, double fist. Matt holds Nitro as Jeter goes for something, but Mercury lowbridges him! Lowblow by Nitro. 25 minutes gone. They call for the Snapshot. They hit it! No ref still. Nitro covers him. Mercury clals for another ref. 2.9999!!! Big pop for the kickout. MNM can't believe it. They go for another one, no double whip, they go for a flapjack... reversed into a double DDT! Matt goes up top. Melina knocks him off the top! Maria out... here's Heyman's contribution to the Southern Tag Team Formula... CATFIIIIGHT CATFIIIIGHT! ECW-style of course. About 3 or 4 refs are suddenly out to break it up (where were they earlier when the ref got bumped?) They get them broken up. Jeter finally gets up. All four men in the ring. DOUBLE SUPERKICK. 1-2-3! Both Chris Kay and Ray Ramsey (the other ref) count different people.

 

About 27:30 all together. I rate that *** 3/4

 

Your Winners; The Thrillseekers... Your Number One Contender for the OVW Heavyweight Title is now... Matt Capotelli AND Johnny Jeter??

 

Fade to Black

[Fro 0]

Your OVW TV Report for 8/13/05!

 

We start with footage from last week, which is in black and white so we know it's from last week. I like how when Heyman uses cinematic and movie-style techniques wrestlers call him a “genius” but when Russo did the same thing he's just a virgin video store owner. Actually there's a little bar at the bottom of the screen that says “LAST WEEK ON OVW” which looks all EXTREME and not goofy like Cornette's video graphics.

 

Anyway, Albright has the Crowbar on Jeter! Dan Puder and Ken Anderson yank the ref out of the ring! Jeter taps like crazy! No ref! (cut).

 

Jeter hits Albright with the superkick... 1-2-3! We have a new OVW Heavyweight Champion Johnny Jeter! Snow calls it a huge upset.

 

We cut to Johnny Jeter and the injured Matt Cappotelli on crutches outside the ring. Matt is super excited. “I told you I can do it!” “You did it baby!” “This is the greatest moment of my life... you know what... I don't think I need you anymore”. Oh my god, Jeter clocks him with the Heavyweight belt! Crowd is in complete shock. We cut to Jeter yelling in the camera that he's Johnny Jeter, OVW Heavyweight Champion, for LYFE!

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! Heyman has recut this in a really lazy, crappy way with a lot of scenes not fitting the music. Old scenes of Cornette decking Mark Magnus and even Chris Kanyon (!) survive the cut. There's even part of MNM's titantron for no reason. The end with Daniel Puder punching out some jobber looks real cool though. Please recut this.

 

Our Hosts are Dean Hill and the “Living Legend” Al Snow, which gets a chuckle from Al. Loud O-V-DUB chants. Double Main Events tonight, Bolin Services, Ken Doane and Bobby Lasheley versus Nick Nemeth and Chris Cage. We also get Brent Albright v.s. Johnny Jeter in a rematch from last week. Anyway, there's black and white letterboxed footage of the particpants as Hill and Snow talk about them from behind the desk, which is pretty neat. I think some of it is actually from later in the show, which shows Heyman's been watching Kill Bill too much.

 

Aaron “The Idol” Stevens (w/ Beth Phoenix & Shelly) v.s. Robbie Dauber

 

In the neverending quest to top MNM's entrance, the two women arch their backs over the middle rope as they get in the ring into a bridge and then unbridge and hop over the middle rope. They then rip Steven's shirt (which looks like one of Christian or Gangrel's old ones off. Stevens does the Dreamer “I'll take em both, I'm HARDCORE” pose. Snow and Dean Hill have Lawlergasms over the girls of course.

 

Let us cut backstage to Maria who reminds us that she's Maria. She's backstage with Brent Albright who isn't answering Maria since he's just staring, back facing the camera at a door. Brent says Jeter is going to walk through the door tonight and he'll be waiting. He says he'll have a conservation with Jeter, when he gets done talking, he's going to hunt down Dan Puder and Ken Anderson, and then he's going to talk with them. He's not going to talk with his mouth, he's going to let his hands do the talking (cut Benoit in ECW hand rubbing from Albright).

 

Back in the ring, the bell rings and Stevens rams his shoulder into Dauber in the corner. Again. Punch, forearm to the back. Elbow on the apron. Snow says the girls get turned on when Stevens beats up Dauber. Shelly beats on Dauber while the ref is distracted, whip, clothesline, kneelift into the corner. Snow calls these “running Japanese ___”. Dauber gets beat up, but comes back with punch punch kick. Dropkick by Stevens catches him. Reverse swinging neckbreaker! 1-2-3.

 

Your Winner: Aaron “The Idol” Stevens. It's orgy time in the ring! Shelly forearms Dauber on the mat for kicks.

 

OVW in Shelbyville KY... it won't be EXTREEEEME! OVW at the Derby Park Expo 5. Steal Summerslam with OVW, ya bum~!

 

Ken Anderson and Dan Puder are out. They both have their luggage. Anderson says you know everyone wanted to see us tonight. Anderson says it's with a heavy heart that I announce to you, the people of OVW.... that Daniel Puder and I will be leaving the building (says the last part really fast and tries to run off). Snow asks him what he's doing. Anderson says “Allen”, I do not feel like I am in a safe working environment. Puder says we're not leaving. Anderson says we are leaving. Anderson says he's out of his mind... HELLOOOOOO. Anderson says Albright is all crazy and looks like a rabid dog. Anderson says everyone in the crowd ought to follow him out the door because Albright is liable to snap and lock the crowbar on a fan. They start to leave and then Anderson runs back and says “Enjoy the veal, have fun, and when you go home, buckle up, remember, click it or ticket!” Anderson is GOLD on the mic! The two run off. The camera tries to follow them back but it's too dark to see jack. We see, according to Dean Hill them stopping to talk to Danny Inferno. Hill has night-vision glasses or something as he sees a confrontation. Puder and Inferno are jawing, which we can't see since the idiots are wearing all black. I barely see Anderson. Inferno comes out and tapes his fists up.

 

Daniel Puder (w/ Ken Anderson) v.s. Danny Inferno

 

Anderson says this contest is schedule for one fall with a 20-minute time limit. Anderson says Inferno has the hardest right hand in the business but does a straight introduction which is AWESOME. Replace Lillian Garcia with Ken Anderson NOW!

 

Snow says it's Striker v.s. Wrestler. Puder uses the stiff kicks. Inferno throws back really bad punches. Puder takes him down and fires away with UFC-style punches but Inferno has full guard. Puder goes to a side mount and punches away some more, but Inferno slips out. Snow says “on his feet, Inferno has an advantage”. Puder goes for a takedown but Inferno uses weak worked-looking punches to knock him down. Puder hooks the left leg and works up to a waistlock. Inferno throws more bad looking punches and some elbows to the back that look better. Puder grabs him and rolls him into the keylock. Inferno tries to fight out. He taps out! Anderson says “Puder is still your Million Dollar Tough Enough Champiooooooon!” Albright comes out. Staredown. Albright takes Puder down! Anderson pulls Puder out of the ring before anything can happen, which Puder is a little mad about. Anderson holds him back.

 

OVW in E-Town! OVW in Hodgenville!

 

Backstage, Maria talks to Johnny Jeter, who has arrived backstage while Albright was in the ring. Maria asks him if he came through a back door. Jeter says he's the champ. Jeter says Maria couldn't wait to rub her body against him. Albright appears and says excuse us for a second. Albright says right now, Jeter is the safest man in the history of OVW. Albright says it's because of him. He says he'll be his bodyguard, his Guardian Angel until their match tonight. He's going to stretch him and put the crowbar on, and you're going to tap like everyone else... and like you did last week. Albright says not a single person is going to lay a finger on Jeter tonight until then because he wants him at 100%. Albright wants to see the look on Jeter's face when he's holding his shoulder in pain and Albright is holding the OVW championship. Oh my god... it's Matt Cappotelli who tosses his crutches into the frame! He's really pissed. Albright has to hold him back as he hops on one leg.

 

Back in the ring... it's

 

Bobby Lashley & OVW TV Champion “The Golden Boy” Ken Doane (w/ Sosay) v.s. Nick Nemeth and Chris Cage.

 

Big pop for Cage and Nemeth. What's the logic in using the name “Bobby” for a monster heel again? This is our first main event of the evening. Kenny Bolin and some new member of BS from last week are outside the ring. Doane and Nemeth start. The new guy is Bolin's “Head of Security”. I miss Mr. Black. Nemeth hits the headlock on Doane. Shoulderblock. Hiptoss, blocked, hiptoss, armdrag. WWE style in full effect! Armdrag by Doane reversed into and arm bar. Doane up, Nemeth tags in Cage, off the top with an axhandle. Cage cranks on the arm and hits the armdrag. Doane to his feet. Shoulderblocks in the corner. Whip to the buckle, Doane runs in after Cage and Cage leapfrogs over him and his another armdrag. I think we have no doubt what Danny Davis's favorite move was at this point. Doane up and clubbers him. Cage ducks, elbow, armdrag, armbar. Nemeth back in. Double whip, double hiptoss, double elbow. 2 count. Big headlock. Whip to the rope, Doane ducks down and Nemeth grabs him when he stands up and puts the headlock back on. RKO chants. Whip to the ropes, clothesline ducked, yet another armdrag. Are they trying to break a world record or something? Doane reaches for Bobby, but Nemth tags in Cage. Bulldog. 2 count. Whip to the ropes, hiptoss blocked, Cage spins around and hits a nice modified Russian Leg Sweep where he sweeps the guy and turns around and clotheslines him on the way down. Lasheley breaks up the pin. Punch, Whip to the corner. Big back bodydrop. Cage off the ropes, Doane uses the ref as a shield to get Cage to slow down and kicks him in the stomach. Lasheley in. It's HOSS TIME.

 

Clubbering by Lasheley. Head to the buckle. Elbows. Bobby is gassed already. Punch, kick, stomp, choke on the ropes. WE WANT NICK chants. Backbreaker. Whip to the corner. Doane in. Doane with Steve Austin elbow drops and the Ric Flair knee drop. 2 count. Doane can't believe that his DEADLY KNEEDROP didn't get the pin and jaws with the ref. Scooop slam. Austin elbow off the ropes. 2 count. Randy Orton side headlock now. Cage works his way up a few seconds after Dean Hill says “he's working his way back up”. Elbows out. Whip to the corner, Doane runs in after him and eats ringpost, Nemeth in. Punches, atomic drop, spinning elbow. Kick to the face, big dropkick, nip-up. Doane tries to bail and misses the superkick. Whip to the ropes, reversed, knee in the back by Lasheley! RKO by Doane!! Both men down for a bit before Doane makes the cover... 1-2....2.8! Doane can't believe it. Lasheley tagged in. Nemeth is completely limp. Big snap-suplex... Lasheley holds on and then flips up and over into a headlock... takes Nemeth up for another suplex, this time holding him in the air forever... JACKHAMMER! Nice combo of moves there. This gasses Lasheley so Doane tags back in. Doane slaps him around a big. Nemeth rolls Doane up. 3-count!

 

Your Winners: Chris Cage and Nick Nemeth. Doane can't believe it. Doane and Lasheley stare down. Lasheley is pissed.

 

OVW IS LIVE IN VARIOUS PLACES!

 

LET US TAKE YOU BACK TO MOMENTS AGO IN BLACK AND WHITE AND LETTERBOXED. Nemeth pins Doane.

 

Live in the ring. Johnny Jeter is out. He and Snow stare down. Man, Jeter is a great heel. Snow asks him if he had anything to do with Anderson and Puder coming out. Snow says even if he asked Jeter, Jeter probably wouldn't give him a straight answer. Jeter says congrats to himself. Good job Johnny, because nobody who matters has told him congrats this week. Oh wow... he sounds very, very much like Jericho doing this promo. The fact of the matter is he was the number one contender because Matt broke his leg. YOU TAPPED OUT CHANTS. Jeter says he was the legal man in the MNM match. Let's face facts, I'm the OVW Heavyweight Champion. He's tired of being Matt Cappotelli's BITCH. He's the OVW Champion, it's his turn to shine, his turn to be looked at. When you're the OVW Champion, you're in the limelight. That spotlight is on Jeter. YOU TAPPED OUT CHANTS. Jeter says he doesn't remember tapping, just winning the OVW title. As far as Jeter is concerned, the light is on him. Jeter would like to address Vincent Kennedy McMahon who he knows is watching, please call up Jeter to Raw or Smackdown. The only thing worse than having a partner who's selfish is living here with these people in “Looneyville”. YOU SUCK chants. Jeter walks to the ring.

 

OVW Heavyweight Champion Johnny Jeter v.s. “The Shooter” Brent Albright

 

Big pop for Albright. Chris Kay your referee. The OVW title is on the line. Matt Cappotelli's music hits and he hops out on crutches, Albright has to hold him back and talk him down. He finally gets Matt to sit down at ringside. We gotta take our last break!

 

OVW Heavyweight Title Match:

OVW Heavyweight Champion Johnny Jeter v.s. “The Shooter” Brent Albright

 

As we come back from break, Albright gets a quick rollup. Headlock, takedown. Ref checks Jeter's shoulders, headscissors by Jeter, reversed back to the headlock. A near fall or two. Jeter works his way back up. Whip, Albright holds on to the headlock. Jeter up, whips Albright out, shoulderblock by Albright. Camelclutch rollup gets 2 for Albright, Jeter comes back with a crucifix for two! Chop by Jeter. Another. Whip to the corner, Albright jumps over the charging, Jeter. T-Bone Suplex by Albright! 2-count. Albright goes for the armbreaker but Jeter counters. Spinning Wheel Kick by Jeter is ducked by Albright! Albright goes for the crowbar but Jeter makes it to the ropes before he can lock it in. Real nice sequence there.

 

Jeter backdrops Albright off the top rope, but Albright holds on and rams Jeter's head in the buckle, no, blocked by Jeter! Jeter sends Albright into the buckle and then dropkicks him off the ring apron! Albright works his way back up. Jeter tries to baseball slide him but Albright moves... Belly-to-Belly suplex on the floor by Albright! Better than last week's match so far. 2 count back in the ring. Snapmare, armbreaker to Jeter. Albright ties Jeter up in the ropes, hammerlock in the ropes, dropkick to the shoulder! 2 count. Nobody in US wrestling is better at working the arm than Albright. Hammerlock belly-to-back suplex gets two. Hammerlock into a slam but Jeter slips out and punches Albright outside of the ring. Jeter poses in the ring, then... ASAI MOONSAULT ONTO Albright!! Matt makes a kick in the direction of Jeter. Punch, punch, back in the ring. 2 count. 2 count. 2 count. Armbar, european uppercut to the arm. Head to the buckle. Hammerlock on Albright's arm now in the ropes. Chop by Albright, another. Jeter comes back with some of his own. Man, Jeter really looks like Jericho now since he has his hair made up the exact same way and black tape around his wrists. Whip to the ropes, polish hammer! 2 count. Jeter unties a turnbuckle. Albright rolls up him for 2! Jeter pummels Albright on the mat. Jeter tries to ram Albright's head into the exposed steel a couple times but it is blocked. Albright elbows out of the corner, whips Jeter into the ropes, reversed, beautiful jumping spin kick hits this time on Albright. 2.99! Dean Hill cheers “YES”. Knee to the back of Albright's head. Cravate into a snapmare into a chinlock. Fastforward time. Albright elbows out. Sunsetflip blocked by Jeter who tries to hook Albright in the 1992 Bret Hart/Bulldog finish but Albright blocks that as well. Anyway, Jeter stomps the arm and the head and stuff. 2 count. Jericho, er, Jeter back to the headlock. Go Brent Go chants. Jeter yanks Albright down by the hair. Jeter goes up top. Missile dropkick MISSES for the first time in the history of wrestling! Albright rolls him up for 2.9. MAKE HIM TAP Chants. Albright chops him in the corner, whip to the buckle, runs into a Jeter elbow, but Jeter runs into a overhead belly to belly suplex by Albright!! 2.99! Albright goes for a vertical suplex, no a SUPERPLEX. Here it comes off the rop rope, no Jeter slams him off. SPINKICK OFF THE TOP ROPE!! 2.999! Man, he stiffed him with that one. Jeter warms up the band for the superkick. Albright ducks the kick! Double leg takedown into a slingshot into the exposed turnbuckle... but Jeter lands on the second rope and stops himself! Crossbody by Jeter, Albright rolls through for 2.99!! Excellent match. Jeter punches Albright. Belly to back attempt by Jeter, Albright lands on his feet and pushes Jeter into the exposed turnbuckle!! Jeter's shoulder hits the steel!! CROWBAR, but Jeter makes the ropes somehow immediately. Jeter rolls out of the ring. Jeter looks under the ring for some plunder. Jeter kicks Cappotelli's crutch away at ringside and then superkicks his ass!! Oh man, how dickish (watches spot again). Jeter grabs the chair Cappotelli was sitting in. He clocks Albright right in the head, then nails Cappotelli who is just getting up outside the ring.

 

The Ref calls for the DQ and Albright is the winner. *** ½ or so.

 

Dean Hill yells “LORD LORD LORD”. Another chair shot, another, another! Another, another, another! The crowd is screaming, a ref tries to pull Jeter away. The whole locker room empties out to hold Jeter back. Hill and Snow are having a heart attack. The wrestlers are in shot. Jeter has asssaulted his former partner. We get a brief shot of Matt and his shoulder and half his face are completely soaked with blood. His white shirt is red and a couple guys who are working on him have their hands covered in blood. Sick sick, 1.0 Muta bladejob (if all of it is real). Don't think I've seen anything like this.

 

We quickly go to a break.

 

There is a crowd of people around Matt and we can't get a clear shot of him. There's blood everywhere. His entire shirt is all bloody. Back at the announce desk, Hill has his hands covered in blood and blood on his white shirt. Hill says he's been doing this for a long time and this is one of the most horrific moments I've ever seen in pro wrestling. What Johnny Jeter has done here tonight is unforgivable. Hill walks off and tends to Jeter as we fade out.

 

Wow, now that's an angle.

[daileyxplanet 0]

Hooray for Heyman booking!

[cabbageboy 0]

Last night's TV show was even more bizarre than this. Jeter came out and made fun of Cappotelli, calling him a cripple and even cut off his phone call (played aloud) to the Davis Arena. Brent Albright came out to confront Jeter, but the lockerroom emptied and they restrained Albright...and of course Jeter smashed him with a chair. Announcer Dean Hill then flipped out on Jeter, calling him an asshole, told him to fuck off, and then stormed off the set! Al Snow was getting set to fight Jeter and then the lockerroom guys surrounded Jeter in the ring. Danny Davis then came out and ordered the guys to the back. Then he proceeded to smack Jeter around and knock him down, until Jeter snapped and nailed him with the belt...and then whipped Davis with the title belt HARD several times as the show went off.

[justcoz 0]

I've been trying to find a reliable person to send me weekly OVW tapes on a steady basis. I'm really interested in seeing the television that Heyman is doing. Email [email protected] if you can help. Sorry for posting something like this in this particular thread but.... i really want to see this stuff I'm reading about here.

[Fro 0]

8/20

 

Last Week on OVW, Cappotellit got owned, Dean Hill was even bloodier up.

 

Matt gets an IV.

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOR. This is the whole dang song now.

 

Tonight Ken Doane v.s. Nick Nemth. Update from Matt on his injury.

 

Jeter is out for a promo. Jeter says the attention is still on Matt. He's a cripple. Snow is j ust glaring at him in the background. Jeter says Matt will never wrestle again. When he doesn't hear about Matt, he's hearing about Albright. This is drawing huge heat. Jeter says there will be no rematch...

 

Here comes Brent Albright, and he is PISSED. Staredown. The only reason you're standing out here in one piece is because I'd never get a title shot. Albright says Jeter isn't a real man. Jeter slaps Albright, and we have a big brawl. Jeter taunts Albright on the mic. Elijah Burke starts yelling at Jeter and grabs the mic. Burke says last week it was bull. You've crossed the line, you've broken the code you stupid bastard. I believe in the good book. I believe in loving thy neighbor. Jeter, what you did, I dod not forgive. I hate your guts. Burke sayus I'jm gonna take your OVW title. Jeter looks scared. Burke is really fired up. , this is some of the vest TV ever.

 

We get a recap of the last segment and some sepia highlights of Jeter's wrath.

 

Here comes Aaron Stevens (w/ Phoenix and Shelly).

 

Aaron Stevens (w/ Phoenix & Shelly) v.s. “The Giantkiller” Mike Mondo (w/ Da Beast)

 

Mondo says Beast is a legendary lover and it's not fair that Stevens has two women. OMG! Mondo has a foot fetish too like his “baby brother” Snitsky. Mondo does a lot of sex talk and gets decked. I smell a squash. No PBP cause I'm lazy. Mondo makes humping motions on the mat in front of the girls in a funny moment. This is a solid, unspectactular match so far. Shelly distracts Mondo with a kiss. Idolizer swinging neckbreaker gets 3.

 

Your Winner: Aaron “The Idol” Stevens.

 

Mondo throws a fit in the ring.

 

Backstage Maria is with Nick Nemeth. Nemeth says this is the biggest night of his life. He finally gets his hand on Ken Donne. Nick says he's the one who caused the disension between Lasheley and Donne. We get highlights from last week in black and white, as usual in Heyman OVW, as Nemeth talks about what happened last week.

 

Backstage, it's Ken Anderson. Welcome to Mr. Anderson's neighborhood. He says Puder will stomp the living daylights out of his opponent. He carries on a conversation with himself. He does his introduction of Puder from backstage!

 

And here comes Puder!

 

Dan Puder v.s. Robert Fury

\

Fury tries to come with strikes, but they're dodged. Takedown by Puder into a waistlock, Puder passes guard and punches him like crazy. Ref stands them up, Puder takes him down into a keylock, Fury taps out.

 

Your Winner Dan Puder!

 

We cut backstage to Anderson, where he's excited that Puder did it all by himself. Anderson announces Puder the winner.

 

Here comes Ken Donne with all of Bolin Services (sans Mondo and Da Beast). I'm too lazy to write out all their names.

 

Maria says we'll have an update on Elijah Burke shortly. Maria grabs Chris Kay. Kay says Burke is going to the hospital with a concussion. Maria grabs Eric Langeley. Langeley says Jeter's actions have been ridiclous.

 

OVW TV Champion Ken Donne (w/ Bolin Services) v.s. Nick Nemeth

 

Donne holds the TV title trophy in the corner. Kinda dull match with two green guys, but not that bad. RKO by Donne after several minutes gets 2.999.

 

Abrupt cut to an OVW TV taping commerical with CORNETTE's voice and we take a break.

 

Donne chokes Nemeth with both sets of wrist tape. Headlock. Crappy dropkick by Nemeth. Rocker Dropper gets 2. Big spinebuster by Donne. Okay, this is getting slightly better. Stunner by Nemeth. 2.9. Dean calls it a “RKO”. Donne with the STYLES CLASH!! 2.99! Donne throws a fit. Donne and Lasheley arguing. Implant DDT by Nemeth! 2.999!!! Holy crap, Donne sold that like a billion dollars. The Bolin Services head of security (Dean Vis??) pushes Nemeth off the top rope. Chris Cage runs down to take him out but Bobby Lasheley owns him with a clothesline. Nemeth tries to plancha onto Lasheley but he gets caught and tossed into the ring post for his troubles. Donne gets a 3 count.

 

Your Winner: Ken Donne

 

Lasheley has saved Donne's TV title again. Staredown.

 

We're on the phone with Matt Cappotelli. He says he's in the hospital. He says his game is to stay positive. Matt says there's no place he'd rather be than the Davis Arena. All I can think about is what happened last week. Matt says Jeter didn't think twice about laying out his partner for the past 10 months. Matt says he will be back and he will find Jeter, I swear to god. Jeter comes out and rips the phone off the announce desk! Jeter says Matt Cappotelli is a cripple thanks to me. Cripple... champion. Hill says fuck you which gets bleeped out. He yells asshole like crazy. He says he's sick of Jeter's shit. He's spent 25 years on the police department taking care of assholes like you. Hill stands up and of course he's like a foot taller than Jeter since he's probably a legit 6'6” or so. We don't need this shit around here. He says fuck you and walks off and gives Jeter the finger. Jeter takes out a cameraman and starts stomping the hell out of him. Snow crosses his arms and gets ready to take Jeter out. Albright is trying to come out and the whole locker room is holding him back. Big brawl. Jeter hits Albright with a chair while the guys are holding him back!! The whole face locker room comes out and they're PISSED. They surround the ring!

 

Danny Davis hits the ring and tells everyone to go to the back. He's reaming the shit out of him and slapping him like crazy, stiff as hell. He punches him several times after he says he's going to “beat your ass”. Crowd is going crazy as hell. Jeter hits HIM with the title belt. He starts whipping him with the belt. Davis's wife, I think come out and starts screaming and crying. And we're off the air...

 

---

 

8/27

 

We take you to highlights of Jeter's havoc from last week.

 

Al Snow starts the show by himself. Al Snow introduces Dean Hill. “DEAN” chants. Dean appreciates the letters and e-mails he's received. Hill says he isn't sorry for what he said to Johnny Jeter. Dean felt he crossed the line and let everyone down though since it wasn't something his granddaughter should watch. Dean said he met with Danny Davis before the show and tendered his resignation (“NOOOOOO” from the crowd) and this will be his last show.

 

Here comes Dan Puder with Ken Kennedy and TEAM PUDER (~!). Nice, he has a couple jobbers with him acting like UFC lackeys. Kennedy has out faking crying in a real high-pitched voice. This is hilarious. He says he killed me last week and makes fun of Hill screaming “A-HOOOOLE, I'VE GOT KIDS I'VE GOT 27 THOUSAND YEARS IN THIS BUSINESS 97 ON THE POLICE FORCE, A CURLY MUSTACHE FU, and then he stabs himself in the heart and passes out on the announce desk!!!”. Kennedy says he's all blown up now. On a more serious note, he just came back from a tour of WWE Smackdown. He was hanging out with his boy Vince, or Vinnie. He does a Vince impression, he says “Anderson, that's like an ancent name, you need something new and modren”. He says he chose Vince's middle name in his honor and he is now MISTER KENNEEEEEDY!

 

He introduces Charles (from “Somewhere in South Carolina” which makes the jobber pissed).

 

Dan Puder (w/ Ken Kennedy and TEAM PUDER) v.s. Charles Evans

 

Puder ducks Charles' shots and punches and kicks him, armbar to the keylock, tap out. That was fast.

 

Your Winner: Dan Puder.

 

Kennedy starts to announce Puder the winner, but Danny Davis from the OMNIPRESENT AND OMNIPOWERFUL CONTROL ROOM says everyone in the ring needs to stay out and everyone in the back needs to go out to the ring because we're going to have a TEAM MEETING.

 

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR (recut again!)

 

Kennedy says he assumes this meeting is about Jeter. Kennedy says he doesn't even know the guy, and he'd like to skip out of the meeting. Davis says Mr. Puder and Mr. Kennedy may leave. Kennedy says it looks like a political thing and he knows Kennedys don't get involved in politics. Hill is getting teary eyed. Davis says Dean has been his friend for 20 years and has worked for OVW since 1994. It pains me to have to accept Dean Hill's resignation. Davis says if you quit, I quit. Davis says he will not accept Dean's resignation and everyone in this building will not accept this resignation. “Hell NO” chant from the crowd. Hill and Davis shake hands. Davis says he, and fat-old greyhaired bastard crossed the line last week, and he's man enough to admit Jeter whipped his ass last week. Davis says he know Jeter is shaking in his boots since he's afraid of Jeter firing. Davis says he thought about firing him but then OVW wouldn't have a champion. Davis says he's going to make Jeter's life a living NIGHTMARE. The winner of the upcoming Battle Royal will face Johnny Jeter, tonight for the OVW title!! That battle royale starts... RIGHT NOW!!

 

Lasheley is reluctant to get in the ring. Lasheley is out of the battle royal. Albright is in the center of the ring calling out everyone. Crowbar on Tank Toland, ankle lock on Chad Toland, crowbar on the Beast! Everyone tapping out. Everyone gains up on Albright and throws him out of the ring! Burchill is in the battle royal! Aaron Stevens gets tossed. Robert Fury is out. Stevens' girls attack Robert Fury, who throw Stevens out. Beast and Donne make an alliance in the middle of the ring. Big press slam by Da Beast, throwing Donne over the top... but Lasheley catches him!! He's not yet eliminated, but Lasheley puts him down outside the ring and eliminates him! Donne is PISSED.

 

Cliff Thompson is out. Ring has thinned out a lot over the break. Tolands take out Russell Simpson. Toland eliminate Danny Inferno. Robbie Dauber is out. Chris Cage superkicks Nemeth who is now eliminated. The Tolands toss Chris Cage. The Tolands, Deuce Shade, Elijah Burke, and Da Beast are the only 5 left. Da Beast takes out Shade/Burke. The Tolands talk Beast into making an alliance with them. Beast tries to toss out Elijah Burke, but Deuce Shade saves him. Double clothesline by Shade/Burke eliminates the Beast!

 

Shade gets thrown out by the Tolands, but he hangs on. Shade gets knocked into the ringpost but he barely hangs on by the bottom rope. The Tolands doubleteam Burke. About 40 elbow drops in a row. They try to throw Burke over the tope but he blocks it. Burke goes for a double clothesline but misses and he almost goes over the top. He backdrops both Tolands over the top rope!! But they hold on. Burke gets double hiptossed over the top. Tank turns on Chad Toland as they think they're the only two left, but Deuce Shade throws both of them out!!

 

Your Winner: Deuce Shade

 

We are backstage with Maria. Jeter is backstage talking with Kennedy and Puder!! Kennedy says we hang out, drink beers and smoke cigars. Kennedy says he and “Mimi” need to get together and have a little interpromotional action. Kennedy goes crazy promoting Jeter. He says he made Elijah Burke forget about Jesus and a bunch of funny stuff. Jeter says he deserves an introduction like that. There's nothing I can't do and no one I can't go through. I made Dean Hill quit, make Matt a cripple. This place in a uproar because of me. There's someone yelling backstage loudly. Dean “The Cooler” Visk? is going crazy need to Donne in the locker room next door. Deano says Donne was robbed. I know why you didn't win. Mondo says I am so angry. Bobby says “don't you ever stop screaming” in his Michael Jackson voice and he says Deano won't debut this week after Lasheley demands his match. Donne says he doesn't have a problem with it. Lasheley says he's going to do this one by himself to a pop.

 

Osama v.s. Bobby Lasheley

 

Lasheley takes off his street clothes. Lasheley is beyond pissed. Kick to the gut, shoulders to the gut, zzzz. Clothesline and Lasheley is breathing hard already. Suplex, rollthrough, gutwrench into a Dominator!! 1-2-3!!

 

Winner: Bobby Lasheley

 

Another phone update from Matt Cappotelli. He says the stitches are out. Six and a half weeks before Matt is back! Jeter is out now and says Matt could ride the short bus with those 3 tards in the audience. Matt says he's coming back for you, you prick.. YOU SUCK!! (You suck chants from the crowd).

 

Dean refuses to introduce Johnny Jeter since he's a disgrace to the company. Snow refuses, and finally introduces him.

 

OVW Heavyweight Champion Johnny Jeter v.s. Deuce Shade

 

Decent action to start, with Shade blowing a couple spots. Jeter takes a powder but Elijah Burke stops him at the doorway and gets him back to the ring.

 

Snow is just terrible on commentary. Solid match, nothing real special. Probably goes about 10 min or so. Average OVW main event. Jeter has a chair. Shade ducks. Deuces' Wild. Jeter's foot on the ropes. The ref gets a break between Shade and Jeter, while frees Jeter for a Superkick! 1-2-3!

 

Your Winner: Johnny Jeter

 

Jeter takes the mic and says I don't suck. Matt Capotelli is apparently on the phone again. Jeter says just tell me where you are and I'll drive there and kick your ass. Matt says... you don't have very far to go because I'm out in the parking lot!

 

Jeter runs off to the parking lot where Matt is standing on top of a car pointing his crutch at Jeter. A big crowd of wrestlers come out around them. Elijah Burke takes a shot at Jeter and all hell breaks loose. Cappotelli does a fucking plancha off the top of the car with his leg in a cast onto Jeter!!! He and Jeter brawl a bit before the wrestlers get between him. Cappotelli yells in the camera that Jeter is a dead man.

 

Just when you think Heyman couldn't come up with a cliffhanger as good as last week... wow. This show is absolutely on fire angle-wise.

[cabbageboy 0]

It boggles the mind to think of how this stuff would get over with WWE main event level guys instead of the OVW rookies (let's face it, Deuce Shade is basically the Gambler of today).

 

I wonder when was the last time OVW ran the Louisville Gardens? I'm thinking if they keep this up they could draw a nice house for a potential Jeter/Capotelli blowoff.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Burchill wrestled Stevie Richards last night, at the OVW TV tapings.

 

CM Punk defeated Doug Basham, in a rematch from last week's tapings.

 

My girlfriend said Punk was hitting on her during intermission. Seeing how hot Punk is, it feels pretty cool knowing he thought she was hot. Punk rules.

 

Mr. Kennedy and "The ConMan" Rob Conway were also at the show.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Oh yeah, she also said "The BoogeyMan" returned, from his injury.

 

So, we should see him on WWE TV soon, yay.

[Fro 0]

Here's the 10/15/05 TV Show:

 

Last week, DABOOGEYMAN returned, coming out of a box. Bobby Lasheley proceeded to squash his ass! Hooray!

 

LET THE BODIES... HIT THE FLOOR!

 

The Tolands v.s. Seth Skyfire/Chet the Jet - OVW Southern Tag Team Titles

 

The Tolands are ridiclously roided up since their WWE debut was on Smackdown. Boring match that really picked up at the end, enough to get a couple snowflakes. Anyway, Skyfire/Chet win the belts, Tolands tease like they're going to deck them but then put the belts on their shoulders.

 

Aaron "The Idol" Stevens is out with his hoes. He says it doesn't matter that he lost to Chris Cage on a live event because he's banging two women. He says he injured Chris Cage and he won't be able to compete tonight. Cage comes out and says he wants to wrestle anyway. I guess this is a match because they send a ref out, but Stevens gives Cage a neckbreaker on the exposed concrete floor and they do the injury angle schtick.

 

Damn, this show already feels longer than TNA, probably because there's very few actual commericals.

 

Johnny Jeter is backstage talking to "the fixer Jillian Hall". Jillian has no mole (hooray!) as we can see when she quickly turns around, but Jeter sells like she still has one. Anyway, Jeter asks Jillian to be her fixer and stop Matt Cappotelli (who is coming back FINALLY from his injury in 2 weeks to face Jeter) now that mister KENNEDY, KENNEDY is "injured" and can't be his backup. Jillian blows him up.

 

CM Punk v.s. Elijah Burke. I thought this would be really good but it wasn't. Burke called way too much of this match. Doug Basham apparently wrestled Punk last week and Punk cheated to win. Basham went to shake his hand anyway and Punk blew him off. Mo Green and Doug Basham come out. Basham does commentary and his gimmick is he's the "superstar of superstars". Mo Green distracts the ref while Doug Basham goes after Burke and helps CM Punk win! Anyway Doug Basham signs a poloroid for CM Punk and goes to shake his hand again but Punk no-sells it and rips up the photo of Basham.

 

Backstage, it's the lovely MARIA! She runs down the awesome happenings tonight. She gets in a little fight with Sosay until PAUL BURCHILL pulls her into Johnny Jeter's lockeroom. Jeter whines to Burchil about Jillian and Burchill says he'll be Jeter's new backup, long story short. Jeter says it doesn't matter what Danny Davis says, Burchill with face Cappotelli in his first match back, blah blah blah. Jeter leaves and Burchill tries to put the mack on Maria but is interruppted by a strange knock on the door. "Candygram!" "Special Delivery for Paul Burchill", etc. Burchill opens the door and it's Matt Cappotelli who owns him with the crutch!

 

"THE REDNECK MESSIAH" Jamie Noble v.s. Deuce Shade. Yes! It's Jamie Noble. Yes, they call him THE REDNECK MESSIAH on the air! Sadly this match sucked. Just noble doing his WWE act. sad.gif Noble does the job just to rub it in. Snow does the burial of Noble at the end of the match like only he can.

 

"The Shooter" Brent Albright/Bobby Lasheley v.s. Ken Doane/Dean Visk (w/ Kenny Bolin and Sosay) (no DQ Texas Tornado Tag Team Match)

 

Albright is dangerously close to having a mullet. Albright runs out first like an idiot and Lasheley has to run down and save him. Doane eventually RKO's Lasheley off the apron and kos him for like five minutes while Doane/Visk work on Albright. Lasheley gets up and cleans house. Bolin hits him with the briefcase for no effect. Eventually Dean Visk pins Lasheley somehow (his first pin/submission loss in OVW).

 

Dean Hill and Al Snow announce next week, it'll be Bobby Lasheley v.s. Dean Visk, and in two weeks, officially it'll be Jeter v.s. Cappotelli for the OVW Title in Matt's first match back. Jeter comes out (wearing a Derek Jeter Yankees jersey in a nice touch) and throws a shitfit, then cuts a money promo as we fade out.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

So, we get the Boogeyman on SD, while Noble spends time in OVW? It's not like he needs to "learn how to work" (well, maybe they think he needs "deprogramming" after working the indies), get him back on the main roster, and do something w/ the cruisers (ha!). If they're going to have London be a jobber, at least give me Noble/London Part 3.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Wednesday 19th October, 2005.

OVW returned to the New Davis Arena in Louisville last night, and you can see OVW has gotten hot. A turnaway crowd, with people lined up around the building in the middle of the afternoon. Used to be, people didn't show up until 5 o'clock or so.

 

The show continued to build momentum for what I'd call the biggest show in OVW history, next Wednesday night's TV Taping when OVW Heavyweight champ Johnny Jeter finally puts his title on the line against his ex-tag team partner, Matt Cappotelli.

 

The breakup of The Thrillseekers, which has been the main focus of Paul Heyman's excellent booking since he took over the job in the summer, was the subject of a 10 minute package that was shown to the fans last night, as both Jeter and Cappotelli offered their thoughts on each other, on OVW, on the Thrillseekers tag team, and on what next week's title match will be like. Jeter's promos were actually better than Cappotelli's, as Jeter admitted he feared Cappotelli and what Cappotelli might do. Jeter also said he wanted to prove to everyone, even himself, that he was better than Cappotelli.

 

In a huge announcement at the end of the night, another title match will take place next week, as Ken Doane will defend the OVW Television Title against Bobby Lashley. This was set up when Lashley squashed Dean "The Cooler" Visk in a match similar to the Lashley vs Boogeyman match, and then Doane attacked Lashley, but Lashley turned the tables on Doane. This will be an interesting match.

 

The Chris Cage .VS. Aaron "The Idol" Stevens feud continued as Cage pinned Jamie Noble, who came to ringside with Stevens and Beth Phoenix and Shelly. The story here was that Noble was being paid off by Stevens, but not with money. The Idol was paying off Noble with Shelly. But in the end, Cage, hurt neck and all, prevailed against Noble in an excellent 15 minute match.

 

Brent Albright and Elijah Burke defeated Doug Basham, Mo Green, and CM Punk in a 2 .VS. 3 match when Burke pinned Mo Green. Basham attacked Elijah after the match. Punk and Albright seem to be headed into a feud. There was a promo segment to lead into the match, and they broke into a fight.

 

Mark Henry returned to action, and put a pretty severe belt whipping on local OVW jobber Robert Fury, who was in a match with Rene Dupree. When Dupree saw Henry come out, he ran out of the ring and left Fury to take the beating. It was pretty vicious, with Henry really laying in the belt shots.

 

There was a match between the former OVW Tag Team Champions Tank and Chad Toland against the new champions Seth Skyfire and Chet The Jett. This happened early, before Dean Hill and Al Snow opened the TV show, so it may have been a dark match. All 4 wrestled in street clothes. Very good tag team match. The Tolands are great.

 

In another dark match, Romeo Rosselli from the Heart-Throbs defeated Nick Nemeth, complete in his golf sweater outfit.

 

This show obviously builds up to next week's huge TV tapings, with Bobby Lashley challenging Ken Doane for the OVW TV Title, and Matt Cappotelli's return to the ring against Johnny Jeter for the OVW Heavyweight Championship. That takes place next Wednesday Night at the New Davis Arena in Louisville, Kentucky.

 

Results:

 

Singles Match

Romeo Rosselli defeated Nick Nemeth.

 

OVW Tag Team Titles Match

Seth Skyfire & Chet The Jet defeated The Tolands.

 

Singles Match

Rene Dupree .VS. Robert Fury. NO CONTEST, Mark Henry interfered and attacked Fury.

 

Singles Match

Bobby Lashley defeated Dean "The Cooler" Visk.

 

Singles Match

Chris Cage defeated Jamie Noble (with Aaron "The Idol" Stevens, Beth Phoenix, and Shelly).

 

3 .VS. 2, Handicap Tag Team Match

"The Shooter" Brent Albright & Elijah Burke defeated CM Punk, Doug Basham, & Mo Green.

 

 

Matches for next week:

 

OVW Television Title Match

Ken Doane .VS. Bobby Lashley.

 

OVW Heavyweight Title Match

Johnny Jeter .VS. Matt Cappotelli.

[Matt Young 0]

Oh God fucking dammit. Not Mark Henry. Fuck me with a rake.

[Fro 0]

10.29.05

 

Straight to action this week I believe.

 

Elijah Burke v.s. "Superstar of Superstars" Doug Basham (w/ Miles Greene aka Mo Greene aka Maurice aka Morris aka Lamont)

 

Doug's new gimmick is starting to rule. Miles has a Walk of Fame star with Doug's name on it he puts on the floor for Doug's entrance. Doug signs polaroids for the crowd. This was a good, Velocity-style opener. OVW Doug Basham rules so much. I think this gimmick has potential of making it with a little more tweaking. Anyway, Burke wins with a facebuster off the 2nd rope! Can't remember

 

Backstage, Maria and Sosay are dressed nearly alike, leading to a CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT in the ring. Man, this was just punching and rolling around, but Maria has potential and punches real well. Maria is about to win when Ken Doane runs out to save his valet. Bobby Lasheley runs out and spears Doane. Next week.. the showdown between these two men.

 

CM Punk v.s. Brent Albright

 

*Jizzes*. Man, for a 30 minute match between these guys. Albright is basically a poor man's Benoit as I've mentioned so imagine Benoit v.s. Punk and that's this match, pretty much. This had the psychology of a 30 minute match in 12 minutes or whatever they had. Punk's angle is he hasn't shaken anyone's hand since arriving in OVW since he doesn't respect anyone. Anyway, Albright offers him a handshake and Punk refuses. They do about 4-5 extended wrestling sequences here and Albright ends up getting the better of the mat wrestling and offers Punk a handshake each time. Anyway, the final time Punk slaps the shit out of Albright when Albright goes for the handshake and starts striking him to death in a super dickish fashion.

 

Albright comes back with his standard offense, working on the arm, belly to belly suplex, armbreaker, and goes for the crowbar but Punk reverses it in a crowbar of his own! Albright finally makes it to the ropes after nearly tapping and not being able to roll out of his. After a bit more back and forth, Punk goes to finish off Albright and after the crowd chants it, teases the Pepsi Plunge. Albright throws him off and misses a diving headbutt. Albright finally comes back with rolling germans and then hits a half-nelson suplex and HEADDROPS punk for the 1-2-3!

 

I'd give this about *** 1/2. These guys better get their 20-30 minute match in OVW!

 

Swank promo for Jeter/Cappotelli

 

OVW Heavyweight Champion Johnny Jeter v.s. Matt Cappotelli

 

Dean Hill tells us they've already taken all their commerical breaks so this match will be commerical free (it's 32 after the hour!). There's "security" forming a wall in the middle of the ring to seperate these two. Crowd is jacked, definitely has a big-match feel. These two just brawl to start out and anytime Matt gets the edge, Jeter goes after the Cappotelli's injured leg. Punching wasn't particularly good or anything but it was intense still. Offense on the leg with Jeter busting out some swank submissions, leg to the ringpost. Matt comes back for a bit and then Jeter takes over on the leg again. Neat spot where Jeter has a boston crab on Matt cappotelli on the 2nd rope (after Cappotelli hit his shoulder into the ringpost). Jeter ends up begging off and Cappotelli teases like he'll forgive Jeter, then lariats him! Cappotelli ends up going nuts on Cappotelli. Jeter hits a superkick, Cappotelli kicks out. Jeter gets a whisper in the wind on Cappotelli which Cappotelli reverses into a pin, a decent amount of near falls. Matt hits a big plancha on Jeter after about 20 minutes getting a big OVW chant. Neat sequence where Jeter goes for a powerbomb, Matt reverses and goes for a rana, Jeter blocks it and has Matt in a Styles Clash position and turns it into a Texas Cloverleaf. Matt finally pulls himself to the ropes. Some of this is out of order since it was sort of there, but the overarching hatred and Matt selling the knee held up. Anyway, there's another double ko and Jeter nips up... then Matt nips up on the bad leg, hits a jumping spin kick and then superkicks jeter. Ken Kennedy runs down and pulls the ref out of the ring! Matt planchas on Kennedy and the ref who's trying to get him out of there! Kennedy throws the OVW title to Jeter. Jumping superkick to Kennedy. Back in the ring, Jeter tries to hit Matt with the title, Matt ducks, goes for a superkick on Jeter which is blocked, low blow, belt shot to Matt, 1-2-3!

 

Winner: Jeter in about 28 minutes

 

Man, I'm really mixed on how to rate this... techinically it was only about a *** 1/4 or so match, not a lot of innovative spots, never got into a great flow with a bunch of nearfalls or false finishes in a row (although there were some really good ones), storywise it was *really* good and hate-filled. I'll say it's ****, judging for OVW bias.

[cabbageboy 0]

This was the best OVW show I've seen in a long time, maybe since the show I saw that had Dinsmore/Snow and Trailer Park Trash/Flannagan (this was like 5 years ago).

[Alro 0]

I've not seen a full episode of OVW in over a year and this show was light years better than what I remembered. Cappotelli/Jeter was just an all out fight. I loved that spot where Cappotelli teased that he was going to forgive Jeter. Good stuff there.

 

This was the first time I've ever seen CM Punk. After his match I became a CM Punk fan. I really like his "I don't respect anybody" gimmick. I might start trying to catch OVW more often.

[Fro 0]

I've not seen a full episode of OVW in over a year and this show was light years better than what I remembered.  Cappotelli/Jeter was just an all out fight.  I loved that spot where Cappotelli teased that he was going to forgive Jeter.  Good stuff there.

 

This was the first time I've ever seen CM Punk.  After his match I became a CM Punk fan.  I really like his "I don't respect anybody" gimmick.  I might start trying to catch OVW more often.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Man... it's been like this since Heyman took over in July... not always great wrestling like tonight but great angles and a fun show every week. And now he's got some horses to build around in Jeter, Albright, and Punk who can go.

[pochorenella 0]

Hopefully I'll get some tape of this since it looks to be extremely interesting stuff. I haven't seen any OVW stuff since the days of Leviathan, Lesnar, Orton, Benjamin, etc. Wonder what'll happen with the Jeter/Capottelli feud since it was reported that Capottelli would be called up to WWE for a tag team run.

[Guest The Showcase]

How are the Riggs Brothers fairing in OVW? I was wrestling with them a little bit before the shipped out to Kentucky (Johnny made sure to show us all his new developmental contract, that lucky fuck) so I was rather curious.

[cabbageboy 0]

Well I haven't seen them on TV but I did see the Rigg Bros. at an OVW house show on Friday. They wrestled two Scottish Highlander dudes and also Doane/Beast. They won the match. They seemed decent enough, their boots, trunks, and hair all reminded me of AJ Styles.

 

How sad is it that I probably enjoyed the OVW house show better than a Raw house show I went to with a Cena/HHH main?

[claydude14 0]

I saw the Highlanders in a dark match at Smackdown! in July against Capatelli/Miz. Do they still come out to Piper's music?

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

OVW TV this week started off with a look back at the October 29th program with one of the biggest matches of the year, between Matt Cappotelli and OVW Heavyweight champion Johnny Jeter. After a replay of the final moments in that match - where Cappotelli was diverted from his dream and goal of defeating his former tag-team partner thanks to the interference of Ken Kennedy and a blow to the head with the championship belt by Jeter - Dean Hill and Al Snow reminded viewers of the other events that occurred that week.

 

Before they could go too in-depth, however, the cameras cut to the backstage area where WWE's Maria was chasing after a furious and determined Matt Cappotelli. Cappotelli took no notice of the camera as he screamed Jeter's name and kicked in a few doors along the hallway in search of the man who deprived him of his victory. As he made his way down the hall, Cappotelli stopped when he came across Rene Dupree. Dupree tried to calm Matt down, advising him that if he really wanted to "get" Jeter, he should get him where it hurts the most and make love to Jeter's woman. That, as Dupree said, "is the French way."

 

Cappotelli was stunned and amazed. Even though he had been beaten down and victimized by Jeter, Dupree tells him that the best way to get back at him is to make love. What a brilliant concept this "French Way" was, Cappotelli said. Cappotelli thanked Dupree, but then decided he would go the "Cappotelli Way" instead. He demonstrated this method to Dupree by slamming a steel chair into Dupree's head, sending Dupree to the floor in surrender.

 

 

Singles Match

Robert Fury .VS. ???

Ref: Goose Mahoney.

 

Robert Fury stood waiting for the start of his match, looking off to the entrance-way. He should have turned his attention behind him, as that was where none other than The Boogeyman appeared, howling at the crowd.

 

Fury jumped over the ropes to attack The Boogeyman, but The Boogeyman sidestepped him and Fury fell face-first to the ground. Bashing the dazed Fury with his stick, The Boogeyman pulled Fury up and threw him back into the ring.

 

The audience chanted with The Boogeyman as he stomped around the ring and spat out the words, "FEE, FI, FO, FUM!" He then stomped and punched at Fury before pulling him up by the neck and body-slamming him to the mat. The Boogeyman pinned Fury as he choked him and Goose slapped down the 1-2-3 so that no further damage would happen to Fury.

 

With his victory at hand, The Boogeyman then backed out of the ring and retreated into the darkness.

 

Robbie Dawber was preparing himself to do a pre-match interview with Bobby Lashley. Unfortunately, the room Dawber entered did not contain Lashley but rather Shelly and Nick Nemeth. Shelly was in the midst of negotiating with Nick Nemeth in her usual fashion about his upcoming match with Aaron Steven's nemesis, Chris Cage. Standing merely inches away, Shelly laid down the commitment to Nemeth that if he "took care of Cage, you'll get ALL the bonuses."

 

Noticing the camera, the two told Dawber to get out. Dawber closed the door, but then re-entered a moment later just as Shelly was about the seal the deal with Nemeth. They chased Dawber off again and Dawber ended the segment by stating that they should scrap the filming and keep looking for Lashley.

 

Meanwhile, Elijah Burke roared into Doug Basham's private suite. Before Basham's personal assistant, Miles, could stop him, Burke got into Basham's face. Yet, instead of demanding a match or wanting blood, Burke gave Basham a lecture. Burke thought their match the previous week was too easy considering how much further along Basham was in the wrestling world over someone like himself.

 

"I'm this far to your level," Burke said, holding up a thumb and index finger about an inch apart. "In a month, I'll be there." Burke doesn't feel that it is right for Basham to lose his focus by trying to be a "Superstar" instead of being one of the best wrestlers OVW ever had. Elijah suggested that Basham just be himself and be hated for who he is instead of "loved for who you aren't."

 

Burke left as Miles began to argue against what Elijah said. Basham, however, stopped Miles and told him that Burke was dead on. Basham was left with some thinking to do as the cameras cut back to ringside.

 

 

Singles Match

Chris Cage .VS. Nick Nemeth.

Ref: Ray Ramsey.

 

Aaron "The Idol" Stevens and his two girls Beth and Shelly were already sitting on the announcers' desk as Nick Nemeth came out in his golfing gear.

 

Cage came out, but instead of heading to the ring, he immediately ran to Stevens and began belting him, scaring off the girls. With his concentration on Stevens, Cage was open to an attack from Nemeth and the two went into the ring with Nemeth in control. Cage countered and was on the offensive with a bodyslam when Beth and Shelly ran up to the apron. Beth diverted Ray's attention while Shelly held on to Cage's leg until Alexis Laree came out from backstage and drove the two women off to the back with her.

 

Proud of Alexis, Cage mouthed off to Stevens with his back to Nemeth. Seeing an opportunity, Nemeth jumped over the ropes and grabbed Cage by the head, forcing Chris to slam his neck into the top-rope as Nemeth went to the floor. Nemeth hopped back in for a near-pin and began to stomp and choke Chris' previously injured neck. After choking Cage with his shirt for a near-pin and then hitting a RKO for another near-pin, Nemeth tried to shoulderblock Cage only to get hit with a shoulderblock as well and both men went down to the mat in pain.

 

Cage came back with a series of punches, a shoulderblock and a clothesline, followed by a face-first bodyslam on Nemeth. Stevens tried to distract Cage, but it was no go as Chris pulled over Nemeth for the pin and the win. A disheartened and non-Shelly-bonus Nemeth pouted in the ring as a disgruntled Stevens headed back to the locker room, ready to work on his next scheme to create more damage for Cage.

 

Robbie Dawber appeared on-camera again, attempting to resurrect his Bobby Lashley interview. Entering a darkened room, he was horrified to find that the man inside was none other than The Boogeyman! As the demonic creature screamed he was "coming to get you!" Dawber quickly slammed the door shut and called for the cameraman to cut until they finally found Lashley.

 

As quick review of the previous week's high-voltage match between Brent Albright and CM Punk aired, Punk addressed Albright in a voice-over, telling Albright that "Fans will remember me." Not because Punk refused to shake hands or because he slapped Albright, he said, but because he was the first person to survive the Crowbar and turn it against Albright in a match. "How does it feel to be helpless?" Punk asked as the segment came to an end.

 

Backstage once again with Robbie Dawber and this time he felt he had Lashley pinned down to the proper room. Knocking on the door, Dawber asked Lashley about his upcoming match with Ken Doane. Lashley stated he did his talking in the ring. Dawber nervously called for a cut to the cameraman and then aside to Bobby, asked that they start the interview over and that Lashley tried to steer himself towards giving Robbie a good answer to the question.

 

Dawber began the interview again, but Lashley told him that he didn't want to speak to him. Dawber asked for a cut again and then demanded that Lashley play fair and give him an "entertaining answer." When they started up for a third time, Lashley ripped the microphone away from Robbie and said to the camera, "I'm Bobby Lashley and this is Robbie Dawber's retirement interview." Lashley then elbowed Dawber to the floor and out of camera-range.

 

 

OVW TV Title Match

Ken Doane .VS. Bobby Lashley.

Ref: Goose Mahoney.

 

After weeks of build-up between the former Bolin Services member and the future "WrestleMania moment," the two hit the ring with Lashley after Doane's Television title. Dean Visk, Kenny Bolin and Sosay joined Doane at ringside and immediately began to shake Lashley up with Visk grabbing Lashley's attention and allowing Doane to hit a vertical suplex on Bobby.

 

Lashley hit a shoulderblock on Doane, and then pulled Doane up into a one-handed vertical position before completing a vertical suplex. A pin was stopped by Doane, but he couldn't stop getting hit with a clothesline, a bodyslam and a backdrop by Bobby. Lashley got ready to powerslam Doane, but was stopped by Visk interfering. As Lashley punched Dean in the face, Goose Mahoney had had enough of the interference and forced Doane's attendants to the back.

 

With no one to help, Ken quickly got on his knees and begged for mercy before trying to kick Lashley. Bobby caught the leg in mid-swing and clotheslined Doane. Doane came back with a DDT, however, rattling Bobby enough to get a near-pin. Ken punched and stomped like crazy, finally getting a neckbreaker/quasi-RKO for another near-pin.

 

After a few more stomps to the head, Doane got Lashley down with a kick to the head for another pin attempt. More punches, stomps and chokes came from Doane, but he still could not hold Lashley down, even when kneeling on top of Bobby for a couple of pin-attempts. Finally Doane got a sleeper-hold and drove Lashley to the mat while clung to Bobby's back. Just as Goose was about to call the end to the match, however, Bobby got up and rammed backwards into a couple of corners to shake Doane off. Lashley followed up with a shoulderblock, a clothesline and a solid powerslam for a near-pin. A reversal of fortune soon changed things, though, when Doane hit another DDT for a near-pin on Lashley.

 

Lashley and Doane were both losing steam from the momentum of the match but still working to win, with Lashley bodyslamming Doane and Doane tackling Lashley. Lashley came back with another powerslam and then set Doane up in the corner. A few punches by Doane sent Lashley back to the canvas and then Ken hit a splash on Lashley. Still, he only got a near-pin for all that work.

 

Doane tried to hit the RKO, only to be shoved away by Lashley. Amazingly, Doane then kicked Lashley in the gut, strung an arm around his neck and pulled Bobby up in the air to turn it into a driving RKO, giving Doane the 1-2-3 for the win! A surprising result for a match between the two men, showing that Doane may actually have some room to boost about himself after being able to defeat Bobby Lashley.

 

 

Before the show could end, the camera cut to the parking-lot where Maria was chasing after Matt Cappotelli. Maria wanted to know where he was going and Matt said that he was going to end his situation with Jeter that night by going to his house. As he jumped into his jeep and began to pull out, another car blocked his path. A person jumped out of the backseat of the blocking car and it was Ken Kennedy. He announced that he was calling the cops to let them know about Matt threatening to turn up at Jeter's house to assault him.

 

Cappotelli got out of his jeep to take on Kennedy. Kennedy, however, stated he had friends with him and two fellow WWE Smackdown superstars, Chad and Tank Toland, came out of the car and looked at Matt. Matt, unafraid, said he had a friend with him as well and went back to his jeep to pull out a steel chair.

 

Before Matt could start swinging, Chad, Tank and Ken got back into their car and burned rubber as Ken stuck his head out the window to exclaim he was "Mr. Kennnnnedy!"

 

Matt turned back to his jeep, only to find himself face-to-face with Johnny Jeter. Jeter attacked Matt and the two went at it before a large number of OVW workers came out to separate them. As the Jeter and Cappotelli struggled to get at each other, the camera turned to show that the Tolands' cars had returned. Ken then popped out of the car, faced the camera, and said "KENNEDY!" He then jumped back in and the car took off leaving the rest of OVW to try to keep the former Thrillseekers apart as the show came to a close.

 

 

Match Results

 

Singles Match

The Boogeyman defeated Robert Fury.

 

Singles Match

Chris Cage defeated Nick Nemeth.

 

OVW TV Title Match

Ken Doane defeated Bobby Lashley.

 

I love Rene Dupree, and The Boogeyman is totally over with the OVW crowd.

[Guest The Showcase]

Mr. Kennedy is THE fucking man. Hands down.

[claydude14 0]

I'm definitly gonna have to get some OVW DVDs.

[JustJoe2k5 0]

How much is OVW's C.M. Punk like the independent C.M. Punk? Sounds very similar and that's great because C.M. Punk may be one of the best in the business on the microphone. I really wish I could see some of this.