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The OAO Raw Thread for 09.19.05

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One thing that truly puzzles me:  Why did they hype the Homecoming Raw show without mentioning the most important detail of them moving to USA???  It's bizarre, it's like they just assume everyone knows this.  Why don't they, I dunno, TELL people on the show itself?  Anyone have any idea why they are doing this and not mentioning the actual USA move?  Is Spike refusing to let them mention USA?  And if so, why would Vince give two shits?

 

They can't legally say it, I don't think. Same reason they could never say what channel SmackDown! was on during programming on USA/TNN.

They could say UPN all they wanted when they were on TNN (and technically, they're STILL on TNN), because both networks are owned by the same company.

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Oh, and Vince comes out and settles the title dispute, Hardy/Edge in a ladder match... are the WWE reading my ideas?  Hey, yo, yo, HEY, guyz... next time you do that, pick the good ones and do em right, k?

 

Flair/Cabana was some of the worst wrestling I've ever seen.

 

Oh man, I was so disappointed about the Ladder Match stip to be honest. So let me get this straight: WWE wants *less* crazy ass spots that could injure people, so they put two guys who are known for being in crazy ass spotfests in a Ladder Match that is going to end their feud where they are suppose to hate each other? Yep, that sure encourages the safety first motto they've been toting.

 

Oh, and will Matt, Edge or Christian *ever* get away from the TLC reputation? EVER?

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I'd take an ether-rag to the face if it meant I could forget about Cabana/Flair.

 

I don't even know where to start with how bad it was - were there any wrestling moves done in it??? It was the shittiest brawl I've ever seen, for sure. My god the chops. If wrestling were like driving, then Flair would have been arrested for driving backwards, in the wrong lane, with his feet, without wearing his manditory eye glasses, going 1mph, and then going off the road and into a ditch. And Carlito would have been arrested for going along for the ride. And even then, what I just described would have been more interesting than what they did last night.

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All I will say is this:

 

It has been reported for YEARS, that the WWE was "getting rid of the risky stuff" and then the week after it was reported, the WWE would do something crazy. Seriously, don't believe it. The WWE will always do high spots, it's just they like to pick which guys do them.

 

A ladder match after a cage match doesn't seem right, to me. And didn't they do this exact same scenario with Edge and Christian a while back (2001?)

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Well, the cage was at a UK PPV, if you want to count that. But yes, they did regular match followed by a cage followed by a ladder.

 

And why would a bloodfeud have a ladder match? Ladder matches are meant to impress with cool spots and to be creative. This shouldn't be about being innovative, in that sense at least. It should be about kicking the everloving shit out of each other until the other can't get up. We saw an example of each guy not dying (Edge at the cage match, crawling back on his own and Matt, well, never dying I suppose), and each get up ever time after a match and are fine to wrestle within two weeks. LOGICALLY, this should result in a Last Man Standing match when once and for all, we find out who's more of a man and who won't stay down. But no, we get a ladder match because, well, uh, those two are good at those!

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All I will say is this:

 

It has been reported for YEARS, that the WWE was "getting rid of the risky stuff" and then the week after it was reported, the WWE would do something crazy.  Seriously, don't believe it.  The WWE will always do high spots, it's just they like to pick which guys do them.

The funniest one was back in 2003 when they held a meeting and said they wanted the guys to tone down the risky stuff and to not damage their bodies so much. The punchline? Two days later they announce the Los Guerrros vs. Team Angle Ladder match for Judgment Day.

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Flair doesn't use his moveset anymore and isn't a good enough brawler to cover up his lack of moveset. Where's the interest in Flair aside from the "whooo!" and the taunts? Letting Flair wrestle against guys at this age, when he looks totally uncredible as a true title threat, is just a bad idea. No one wins if Flair wins (or loses).

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Except for the decent main and cool promo for it, that as a complete and utter waste. Not really much such, just such vacant, pointless time-wasting crap that I'd rather it had been actively awful.

 

Vince announces the Night of Old Guys Cutting Promos to kick off the USA return, capped off with a Bischoff/Cena match. Ugh.

 

Some singles thing with Hurricanes/hicks that nobody cares about.

 

Torrie continues to make me appreciate how superior Stacy was as a heel. Thankfully she didn't cut a promo this week.

 

Ric and Carlito have a match which manages to fall short of already low expectations, and King babbles on about those little blue dick pills, because jokes about them never get old, do they?

 

Maria has a segment without any funny lines. Waste.

 

Tomko wrestled somebody. I wasn't bored enough to even attempt watching that.

 

At 56 years old, Ric Flair is the oldest wrestler to ever hold a WWE championship.

 

That's one of those JR stats, right? I could swear Moolah held the Women's Title in 99 briefly, not that I'm surprised they might forget. WWE's officially retconned the Patterson/Brisco Hardcore title reigns, I think.

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Torrie continues to make me appreciate how superior Stacy was as a heel.

 

Who was it who said the WWF would take the world's greatest plumber and make him an electrician? Did I get the quote right?

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Guest slmon

"I'd take an ether-rag to the face if it meant I could forget about Cabana/Flair."

 

Jeez, you OMG Workrate Smarks are ridiculous. WWE is sports entertainment, entertainment being the fucking noun! Just about everyone else on the sites (writers included) thought that the Flair/CCC match was at least good - some thought it was very good.

 

I"m starting to think that Carlito balled your sister, RRR, while eating out Cabbageboy's mom simultaneously. It's obvious that you two are so deep into your "smarkier than thou" agendas that you can't begin to think of being fair or honest. Screw it.

 

 

 

"Sports Entertainment" ...repeat after me.

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Guest

You are done. The match was awful, it made it so that I probably will never watch WWE again. It was the last straw.

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Actually I thought the match last night was Carlito's best to date. And that's mostly due to Flair carrying him like he did his son David 5 years ago. So in a roundabout way I am comparing Carlito to David Flair.

 

I wouldn't mind Carlito if he just stuck to his Cabana, was a manager, and wrestled on occasion. But to seriously push this guy as a wrestler capable of winning major titles? He's got no skills. I haven't said he's the worst guy on the roster...hell I haven't even said Orlando Jordan was the worst guy on the roster (and you guys know how I feel about him). The worst guy on the roster is....

 

Tyson Tomko.

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I haven't said he's the worst guy on the roster...

 

Well, you should have, because he is.

 

There's no male "wrestler" that appears frequently on Raw or SmackDown who brings less to the table than Carlito.

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As I said, Tyson Tomko. Carlito is mostly just like watching paint dry in the ring. Zero offense, nothing but the utmost basics like armbars and headlocks. He doesn't actively fuck up his spots or anything however.

 

Tomko though? The man cannot hit basic stuff. I mean he can't even run the ropes or take a basic bump properly.

 

Of the worst guys on the roster I'd go:

 

1. Tomko

2. Orlando Jordan (at least he doesn't miss everything he tries, but no charisma, no mic skills, not much in the ring).

3. Carlito (he's not the worst since he does have some charisma, and frankly it's too tough to call with Orlando).

4. Viscera. They give this guy a shot every 5 years or so as though time will magically make him not suck. He still sucks, has zero heat, no charisma, no skills. Never has.

 

Anyone else have honorable mentions?

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I disagree.

 

Tomko can be used as a monster. He looked really good in his squash matches lately. That's because he only has to do one move. It makes him look good. Also, his match with Cena was not good, but better than any Cena/Carlito match.

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Guest Brian
I'd take an ether-rag to the face if it meant I could forget about Cabana/Flair.

 

I don't even know where to start with how bad it was - were there any wrestling moves done in it???  It was the shittiest brawl I've ever seen, for sure.  My god the chops.  If wrestling were like driving, then Flair would have been arrested for driving backwards, in the wrong lane, with his feet, without wearing his manditory eye glasses, going 1mph, and then going off the road and into a ditch.  And Carlito would have been arrested for going along for the ride.  And even then, what I just described would have been more interesting than what they did last night.

 

Goddamn WCW quotes are taking up too much room in my sig for the beauty that is rudo.

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