Did I Do The Right Thing

[BruiserKC 0]

I'm a father of two little kids...and today the wife, myself, and the little uns go to the mall to get some shopping done for the kids. The Mrs. goes off with our three-year-old son, and I go off with my 11-month-old daughter the other way. My son goes into orbit and has a fit since he can't stand to be out of the sight of his sister for too long, lol. I'd take him but I wanted to look at Christmas gifts for him without him being there.

 

 

As I'm coming back and I see the rest of the clan, my son is once again in temper tantrum mode. We're talking full-blown, kicking and screaming, yelling and crying, arms and legs flailing mode. Just picture the old Jericho and Christian tantrums combined. My wife grabs him by the arm and scolds him...no whipping his rear end that my parents would have done to me back in the day if I pulled a stunt like that. These two ladies walk by and see what's happening and come over to start yelling at my wife for scolding our son. What happened next about put ME over the edge...and I'm a pretty mellow guy for the most part.

 

One woman shoves my wife...the other woman says that perhaps she needs to take my son to security and discuss what happened so at that moment she grabs him by the arm. Naturally he's pissed at his mother but he doesn't know what to think so he doesn't want to go with them. She's trying to take him away and my son is crying for Mom. My wife shoves back the other lady...hard...knocks her on the ground in fact.

 

At that moment, I am up to them and I say, "Excuse me, is there something wrong here?" Very calm, very chilled. The woman says, "This is none of your concern honey, so you go on and do your thing." She's an older woman, about 5 foot tall...I'm 5'10", 205...and I again approach her and say, "When you're starting to make off with my child, that makes it my business." She started to make some smart-mouth comment as she's walking away...I don't remember what the rest was said I was so pissed.

 

So as she's walking away, I grab her by the scruff of the neck, grip hard enough to get her attention and say, "Excuse me...you're walking off with my son! That makes it my business and if you take one more step it's going to be the ER's business since I'm going to break your fucking neck!" She lets go and says, "I'm going to tell the police!" I tell her go ahead, her friend assaulted my wife and she tried to kidnap my son. And I said also, "And I meant what I said about you if you take one more step with my child!" I am so mad I was shaking by that point...fortunately a friend of mine that is a manager at one of the stores in the mall came up to us at that point. He said that he saw the whole thing and would be happy to testify to security what they were doing.

 

Security comes and has to go through everything...rent-a-cops are as useless as tits on a bull in most cases. Eventually I find out one of the ladies said that she had seen her grandson being abused by his parents and couldn't stand to see that happen. I didn't want to hear it, I'm so furious I know I can't see straight and the last thing I said to her as she tried to apologize is, "You had no right to interfere as my wife was not beating our child...mind your own business in the future."

 

I have to wonder...did I do the right thing and handle it the right way? I understand that children are treated terribly all over but my wife did nothing that was really out of line. And I'm oldschool in my child rearing...my dad would have beat the shit out of me and my siblings for pulling a stunt like that in the mall. All I saw was someone taking my child and I wasn't going to stand for it.

[Black Lushus 0]

I have a 3 year old daughter, I can relate...no one should ever touch your child, period...I don't even let my mom or my wife's mom discipline...my wife probably would have punched that woman, if she were in those shoes, though...seriously Bruiser, do you ever think to yourself "if someone took your kid and you were able to get ahold of him before he could take off, what would you do?" I think I'd probably kill that person, man or woman, with my bare hands...

[Krankor 0]

You did good.

 

Fuck those old women. I seriously hate when people try and interfere with others matters when it comes with children. The old women are lucky you didn't just tackle them from behind because you saw them trying to make off with your kid. For all you knew they were trying to steal your kids.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

You don't ever hit a child, douche. Even "scolding". And why do people who "scold" their kids always hit their kid's ass? You fucking perverts.

[Guest clockworkraven]

Completely the right thing. People shouldn't touch other people's kids. All there is to it.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Completely the wrong thing. People shouldn't hit their kids. All there is to it.

[Guest clockworkraven]

She grabbed the kid's arm and told him off. For strangers to come over and shove the wife and try to take the kid with them is screwed.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

If someone was taking my kid, I would stop them too, but then again, I wouldn't be a fucking retard and hit my kids.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

People shouldn't hit their kids.

 

If more people were willing to give their kids a smack on the ass (since it's virtually impossible to cause serious damage with an open hand there) when they deserved it, this world would be a better place. Some kids just NEED to be taught that bad behaviour brings about negative consequences.

 

Besides, as others have said, no one hit the kid, he was grabbed by the arm. I mean, what is society coming to when grabing your child's arm so he has to look at you while you're scolding him is somehow deemed wrong?

 

To answer the original question, I'm honestly amazed you didn't start swinging at the woman.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

If more people were willing to give their kids a smack on the ass (since it's virtually impossible to cause serious damage with an open hand there)

It's perverted. Why the ass? You're gonna give the kid a spanking fetish.

 

Besides, as others have said, no one hit the kid

Yeah, I thought he meant she hit the kid, while she was "scolding" him.

 

what is society coming to when grabing your child's arm so he has to look at you while you're scolding him is somehow deemed wrong?

Depends how hard you grab the child to pay attention.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

It's perverted. Why the ass? You're gonna give the kid a spanking fetish.

 

(since it's virtually impossible to cause serious damage with an open hand there)

 

Also, by that logic, shouldn't children not be breastfed, since that could lead to a breast fetish?

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Also, by that logic, shouldn't children not be breastfed, since that could lead to a breast fetish?

There's a difference between being breastfed when you're a new born baby, and getting spanked on the ass at 3 years old.

 

Which are you going to remember more?

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Hopefully the spanking, since the whole point of it is to stop the child from repeating whatever behaviour led to the spanking in the first place. Wouldn't help much if they forgot about it two seconds later.

 

Besides, what's wrong with having a fetish?

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Hopefully the spanking, since the whole point of it is to stop the child from repeating whatever behaviour led to the spanking in the first place. Wouldn't help much if they forgot about it two seconds later.

Or maybe you could explain to the child what they have done is wrong. There are punishments like taking away candy/TV/etc.

 

Besides, what's wrong with having a fetish?

Nothing, as long as they don't come from what your parents did to you. I have plenty of fetishes, and none come from what my parents did to me...I hope.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Or maybe you could explain to the child what they have done is wrong. There are punishments like taking away candy/TV/etc.

 

I'm aware of that, and I think that those kinds of things should be done before spanking. I'm not advocating spanking as the be-all, end-all of punishments; just that parents shouldn't be afraid to do it if it needs to be done.

[BruiserKC 0]

Spanking a child should only be the last option...but it sometimes becomes necessary to do it. Call it oldschool but if I have to I will spank my child and not apologize for it. So much of this PC BS about trying to be the child's friend...I am their father first.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

So much of this PC BS about trying to be the child's friend...I am their father first.

If you try to be their best friend growing up, you'll have a better relationship with them. Try and make them have all that respect, do exactly what I tell you 'cause I'm your Dad and I impregnanted your Mom, so I own you until you're 18 father crap, and they'll hate you. Especially your daughter.

 

I'm not advocating spanking as the be-all, end-all of punishments; just that parents shouldn't be afraid to do it if it needs to be done.

It never needs to be done.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

Then what do you do if you take away your kid's TV and their candy and their toys and they continue to do whatever the hell it is you're punishing them for? Do you just give up?

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Then what do you do if you take away your kid's TV and their candy and their toys and they continue to do whatever the hell it is you're punishing them for? Do you just give up?

Of course not, you keep punishing them in that way, and other ways like sending them to bed early, or when they ask for something/or to do something deny them it until they behave, etc.

 

What do you do if you spank them, and they continue to misbehave? There is lots of different options than spanking.

[The Metal Maniac 0]

This is rapidly turning into an awful lot of hypotheticals.

 

Also, I have to go to sleep, so let me sum up my entire position and I'll leave it at that.

 

I think that there are certain circumstances where it may be necessary to spank a child for misbehaviour, though other punishments should be tried first.. I think that spankings should be few and far between; I think the basic idea that I'm getting at is that kids should *not* think that their parents are powerless to lay a finger on them, because that will only create further problems, especially once they get old enough to realize that the law is even more lenient then their parents were.

 

Like, lemme put it this way: I honestly cannot recall ever being spanked by my parents, but I was sure, as a child, that they would have done so if I did something really bad. That prevented me from doing really bad things.

 

To put it another way, I can't see how declaring parents to be bad people just for grabbing their children benefits the child. All they learn is that when their parents touch them, the *parents* get in trouble, not the child.

 

The bottom line, to me, is that some punishments just don't work on some children, and sometimes you have to go a little bit further to get them to behave properly. But that's just my opinion, and I'm quite certain you disagree.

 

I'm going to bed.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

I think the basic idea that I'm getting at is that kids should *not* think that their parents are powerless to lay a finger on them, because that will only create further problems

Like I said, if you become your child's friend, this wouldn't be a problem. A child shouldn't live in fear of being spanked for doing wrong, a child should know/learn that doing bad things will result in things that he/she enjoys being taken away, stopped, other punishments, etc.

 

I can't see how declaring parents to be bad people just for grabbing their children benefits the child. All they learn is that when their parents touch them, the *parents* get in trouble, not the child.

The parents shouldn't grab/hit the child in the first place.

 

The bottom line, to me, is that some punishments just don't work on some children, and sometimes you have to go a little bit further to get them to behave properly.

Learn what they really like and take it away from them. I'm mean what they really like, such as, if they're really into wrestling like a crazy mark, punish them by not letting them have access to watch it. If they have no No. 1 thing they enjoy, create one. Like, start bringing them to a fun place for kids each weekend such as Six Flags or whatever, and hype it up like it the most fun thing ever. Make going to the place a routine, let the kid get excited about it during the week, but if the kid misbehaves, tell him/her they're not going to that place for the next week.

 

Again, there's lots of other options besides spanking.

[Krankor 0]

If more people were willing to give their kids a smack on the ass (since it's virtually impossible to cause serious damage with an open hand there)

It's perverted. Why the ass? You're gonna give the kid a spanking fetish.

 

This is beyond the stupidest fucking thing I have heard in quite a while. Spanking a kid gives the kid a spanking fetish? I recall being spanked several times and I don't have a spanking fetish. Throughout history kids have been spanked more often then not. This didn't result in a "spanking fetish". Something is a fetish because its fucking weird and not typically normal. So if a kid has a bladder problem and needs to wear huggies longer, he will thus have a diaper-wearing fetish? Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

[SteakGrowsOnUecker 0]

anything you have said

 

 

dont ever have kids. you will fail. bottom line. goodnight.

[Krankor 0]

I think the basic idea that I'm getting at is that kids should *not* think that their parents are powerless to lay a finger on them, because that will only create further problems

Like I said, if you become your child's friend, this wouldn't be a problem. A child shouldn't live in fear of being spanked for doing wrong, a child should know/learn that doing bad things will result in things that he/she enjoys being taken away, stopped, other punishments, etc.

 

I can't see how declaring parents to be bad people just for grabbing their children benefits the child. All they learn is that when their parents touch them, the *parents* get in trouble, not the child.

The parents shouldn't grab/hit the child in the first place.

 

The bottom line, to me, is that some punishments just don't work on some children, and sometimes you have to go a little bit further to get them to behave properly.

Learn what they really like and take it away from them. I'm mean what they really like, such as, if they're really into wrestling like a crazy mark, punish them by not letting them have access to watch it. If they have no No. 1 thing they enjoy, create one. Like, start bringing them to a fun place for kids each weekend such as Six Flags or whatever, and hype it up like it the most fun thing ever. Make going to the place a routine, let the kid get excited about it during the week, but if the kid misbehaves, tell him/her they're not going to that place for the next week.

 

Again, there's lots of other options besides spanking.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

You seem to think the child is older. The kid is a toddler. Have you ever had to deal with a toddler that is in a tizzy just because they simply want something. Saying, 'oh no candy now' only pisses them off more. Because then they want whatever the fuck it was they wanted before and now they also want candy because you brought it up. You don't hit the child obviously. But when they are spazing out you have to get them and actually make sure they are listening to you. You do that by taking their hand and facing them toward you and telling them to stop whatever it is they are doing. Simply saying, 'hey little Billy, I'm not going to get you ice cream and you can't watch the tv tonight' as they sprint off screaming doesn't get the job done.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

This is beyond the stupidest fucking thing I have heard in quite a while. Spanking a kid gives the kid a spanking fetish? I recall being spanked several times and I don't have a spanking fetish. Throughout history kids have been spanked more often then not. This didn't result in a "spanking fetish". Something is a fetish because its fucking weird and not typically normal. So if a kid has a bladder problem and needs to wear huggies longer, he will thus have a diaper-wearing fetish? Absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Yeah, I wasn't being serious. It's just weird and fucking stupid to spank a kid on the ass.

 

dont ever have kids. you will fail. bottom line. goodnight.

I basically raised my brother, who is 12 years younger than me. I was more of a father figure to him than an older brother. I never hit him, and always could keep him from misbehaving. We're like best friends, more than older brother/younger brother or father/son. Also, I plan on having at least 10 kids. I think I'll do fine, and I won't be spanking no asses.

[Krankor 0]

Christ 10 kids? Are you breeding an army for something?

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

You seem to think the child is older. The kid is a toddler.

Yes, I know the kid is three years old.

 

Have you ever had to deal with a toddler that is in a tizzy just because they simply want something.

Yes, I'm the oldest of three younger brothers. One is 14, one is 7, and the other is just 9 months old. I know how to handle kids.

 

Saying, 'oh no candy now' only pisses them off more. Because then they want whatever the fuck it was they wanted before and now they also want candy because you brought it up. You don't hit the child obviously. But when they are spazing out you have to get them and actually make sure they are listening to you. You do that by taking their hand and facing them toward you and telling them to stop whatever it is they are doing.

Obviously, if a young child is completely out of control, you can restain them by grabbing them (non-violently), until they calm down.

 

Simply saying, 'hey little Billy, I'm not going to get you ice cream and you can't watch the tv tonight' as they sprint off screaming doesn't get the job done

After they have calmed down, you can use that as a punishment for their actions.

[SteakGrowsOnUecker 0]

you are still a clueless putz. 12 year older brother is not the same as a 3 year old toddler, not even close. nice try, i would learn something first. be a good buddy all you want though. wont matter. goodnight for real this time.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

Christ 10 kids? Are you breeding an army for something?

Nah man, I just always wanted a big family. I love kids, and doing all that big family stuff. My girlfriend is 16, we're getting married when she's 18, she's thinks I'm crazy and she's trying to talk me down to five kids or so, but I can get her to shoot out 10.

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

you are still a clueless putz. 12 year older brother is not the same as a 3 year old toddler, not even close. nice try, i would learn something first. be a good buddy all you want though. wont matter.

Not 12 years old, 12 years younger. I was raising him while he was a 3 year old toddler, douche.