Wrestling Panda SWF News and Notes

[Toxxic 0]

SWF News and Notes for 10/3/06

Taken from the Wrestling Panda newsletter

 

It’s crunch time in the SWF, and time for the booking committee to perhaps take a stand on exactly how determined they are to make a new star. El Luchadore Magnifico has done his usual sterling work as World Champion, and according to sources without any sort of backstage politicking. However, after blowing away Spike Jenkins, Todd Cortez and the rather more legitimate threat of JJ Johnson ELM is now facing someone rather different. Instead of fellow cruiserweight opposition Magnifico is up against a heavyweight, wrestler-turned-actor-turned-wrestler again Wes Davenport.

 

Davenport’s arrival in the SWF is a true example of art imitating life, or perhaps vice versa. While the kayfabe reason for his presence is that the movie role he was researching disappeared when the movie collapsed, Davenport’s acting roles have certainly dried up and both he and SWF management viewed that his presence couldn’t exactly harm either of them. It’s unlikely that either of them suspected how the actor would seem to take off with fans, and the bookers pulled a fast one on virtually all the pundits when Davenport took the victory in the Clusterfuck. Davenport is, despite the films he’s appeared in, a good actor, and in this business of acting it’s still difficult to tell if his persona of a man scraping through by luck and on the goodwill of the fans is a show or an accurate reflection. Certainly he’s had some matches of questionable quality, but ten-year ring rust can be taken into account. The important thing seems to be that whatever his in-ring qualities, he has the charisma lacking from Todd Cortez and JJ Johnson and, if not the wrestling ability, the winning streak lacking from Spike Jenkins. A Wes Davenport victory over probably the greatest World Champion (and one of the best heels) of all time would instantly cement him as a new star, but would lead to a whole new set of questions: What would happen to an insecure face World Champion? What about the wrestlers who have worked in the business for years to see the top honour taken by someone who is essentially a failure in his chosen profession? And is a thirty-plus actor with questionable commitment when times are hard really the right person to choose as the next big star? Time will tell.

 

SWF Headquarters are very tight-lipped about the purpose of making Janus the new ‘Head of Security’ on the SWF shows. So tight-lipped, in fact, that no-one seems to be able to get even a half-substantiated rumour out. The locker room is glad to see Terrence Bailey back (viewers from 2004 may remember that the Hell Machine left the company after losing the World Title to deal with genuine mental health problems that were allegedly exacerbated by having to portray a similar character on-screen), but even they don’t know; word has it that Bailey is friendly and companionable, as well as happy to share advice with the newer wrestlers, but refuses to talk about his role apart from hinting that even he doesn’t know the full plan. Certainly the Clan angle so far, if that is what it is, has been very low-profile.

 

Wildchild and Jay Hawke have been receiving rave reviews for their feud over the International Title, not only because of the quality of matches but also the length and intensity of the angle. In fact, word is that the boys in the back have been placing bets, not on who the bookers will give the belt to, but what nefarious means Hawke will use in each match. There are also rumours that Hawke and ELM are having a private (and good-natured) competition to see who can come up with the most underhanded method of retaining their titles. However, most observers seem to think that the programme must end one way or another at From The Fire with Wildchild winning the strap and Hawke, already solidified as the longest-running champion in history, should move up to at least feature in the World Title scene.

 

Speaking of long-running champions, Bruce Blank has been receiving rave reviews among the parts of the internet obsessed with gore and violence. Originally brought in as a midcard comedy redneck act, Blank’s continued progress through the federation has seen him notch the second-longest Hardcore run ever, to the point where the SWF permitted him to recreate it as the Ultraviolent Title. It’s worth noting that Blank’s run with the title and the resurgence of interest in the belt has not only tempted the Insane Luchador Andrew Rickmen back from retirement, but also the long-lost Renegade (although this is suspected to be a severely one-shot deal).

 

There is little clarity on what happened with the JJ Johnson situation. One rumour is that Johnson left bragging that the UFC had called him, but the UFC had done no such thing and told Johnson to get lost in order to teach him a lesson. Another theory is that the whole thing is a work and Johnson was under SWF contract the whole time. Given that Johnson attacked a roster member (indy worker Rush Hadrian, who was called up on a purely temporary basis to fill in Johnson’s role in the Lethal Lottery and has now been released again) he has to be under some sort of contract, but we may be waiting for SWF Creative to work out how to explain the sudden disappearance and then reappearance of a man who for a while was one of the company’s top faces.

 

The SWF continues to have bad luck with injuries, although at least it’s not been to World Champions this year. Both Mistress Sarah and Michael Cross’s injuries are legitimate, although both worked the match that occurred straight after the injury occurred to give them a storyline reason for happening (hence the return of Sean Davis to replace Sarah). Cross is also expected to work the From The Fire PPV as finding a partner for Akira at such short notice would be well-nigh impossible, but it seems to be touch-and-go as to how long he’ll be out for afterwards. Such a development would suggest that the Asian Underground would not win, meaning that it’ll either be Landon Maddix and Max King or Zyon and Spike Jenkins to walk away with the gold. Given the complete lack of anything being done with Maddix and King, and the latter’s kayfabe obsession with Toxxic and singles compeition (including the ‘Laberinto’ deal) it seems likely that Spike and Zyon will get the nod.

 

The official word is that Maddix is not involved in a programme with Toxxic as such; there have been no communications between the SWF and Toxxic about coming back to work a feud, especially given the acrimonious nature of his departure from the company amidst a controversy over a non-renewed contract. However it is believed that Landon has spoken to Toxxic on a private level to make sure that Toxxic is happy with his name being used and the insults being thrown. The presence of Amy Stephens, Toxxic’s sister, will presumably help in the angle as even if Toxxic decides that a return is not for him the SWF can just run Amy/Landon if one of the two should turn on the other, and still have an angle that makes sense. The SWF seems determined that they should push Amy as a credible in-ring performer as shown by the decent run of Drunk & Disorderly, as well as the fact that she is yet to be defeated.

 

One person that could of course defeat Stephens is Ghost Machine 2.0 in their Cruiserweight Title contendership match at From The Fire. After the dismal failure of the original Ghost Machine the SWF seem to have decided to have a joke with the whole affair, hence a rather distinctive and recognisable Ghost Machine 2.0. Chris Belcourt, the road agent who pushes Ghost Machine 2.0 to the ring, apparently got the job after losing repeatedly at poker to William Hearford and Chris Raynor.

 

Speaking of Hearford, his on-air firing has translated into a position on the booking committee. One question to arise from this is the presence of Kevin Coyote, a.k.a. Kevin Douglas a.k.a. Ethan MacDougal. Research has confirmed that yes, he is the son of ‘Longdogger’ Pete MacDougal, but there has been some controversy over the ‘Smark Enough’ show where he originally made his name. Viewers will remember that he was cut early on having repeatedly clashed on- (and off) screen with Hearford. However, while the two winners of the show remain in developmental, Coyote is involved in a reasonably high-profile feud with his father. Suspicion abounds that the ‘Smark Enough’ show was, if not originally created for, certainly hijacked to make this angle work and the finger of suspicion points at Hearford with other contestants now claiming that he and Coyote/Douglas only seemed angry with each other when they knew others were watching. The SWF has assured the network that there will be another ‘Smark Enough’, and appears to be trying to play this into a public relations victory by demonstrating how quickly success can happen in the SWF, how anything can happen in the SWF, and how the network should renew the show because it has directly affected current TV angles. Time will tell how impressed network bosses will be with those claims.

 

Jimmy The Doom will be giving a talk at the University of Arizona the day before From The Fire. It is still unclear whether Jimmy is actually deranged or simply the greatest proponent of kayfabe to still be alive; regardless, his two previous talks at the Universities of Mass. and Colorado have been remarked for being bizarre, virtually unintelligible and yet completely sold out by people willing to shell out money to be in the same room as a pro-wrestler talking absolute garbage.

 

Animal rights groups have withdrawn their objections over the use of An Octopus on SWF programming, although militant wings may still cause the federation some problems. It is believed the groups have been convinced that An Octopus is a clever fusion of animatronics and CGi. A spokesperson for the SWF was heard to comment ‘what they don’t know won’t hurt them’ before being told to ‘shut up’ by the nearby Tom Flesher.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

These rock. Glad to see 'em back Awesome job.

[Toxxic 0]

I'm gonna try and get them out a bit more regularly, but please, anyone who wants something put in, PM me! Bear in mind that it's meant to be 'out-of-kayfabe' and like the WO, but i can shove whatever in.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I like it. Doom advises all college students to "Muchness with studied, of whenever." Or something. I'm sometimes not good at producing the funny on the spot.

[Bruce Blank 0]

These are cool, a different take on what's going on in the federation.

 

And just to be a stickler for details

 

I'm the longest reigning Hardcore champion (by like 50 days) I'm the second longest reigning overall champion ever only behind Jay Hawke

 

so in other words - hurry up and lose the title Jay

 

and I'm not a mid card redneck comedy act anymore?? HUZZAH!!

[muzz 0]

Bruce has a rather large cranium.

[JHawk 0]

These are cool, a different take on what's going on in the federation.

 

And just to be a stickler for details

 

I'm the longest reigning Hardcore champion (by like 50 days) I'm the second longest reigning overall champion ever only behind Jay Hawke

 

so in other words - hurry up and lose the title Jay

 

and I'm not a mid card redneck comedy act anymore?? HUZZAH!!

Maybe if I lose to WC at From the Fire, I'll sneak into the Ultraviolent division just to protect my title reign!

[Toxxic 0]

Blast. I meant to write 'the second-longest title run ever with the Hardcore belt', but I guess even that could be taken both ways. It was 1am when I was typing this though. I'll fix it... sometime.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Bruce has a rather large cranium.

Well he does wear a large hat

 

That's what you meant right?

 

yeah totally what you meant jealousy doesn't suit you though

 

 

(what are you going on about? it's stating a fact about the length of my title reign)

 

and Hawke - now I'm pulling for you to lose cause I'd love to see Hawke try and take up the Hardcore game

[Guest OKCoyote]

I continue to love these.

 

Rock on.

[the.weej 0]

The very first Wrestling Panda happened right after Mike disappeared and I got back on the booking squad. I remain disappointed at the succinct lack of Zed.

 

-Z

Edited March 12, 2006 by realitycheck

[muzz 0]

You didn't just say Jealous.

 

Hey, last I checked this was an e-fed.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

. . . I thought it was an English class

 

 

Se ya everybody!

[Bruce Blank 0]

You didn't just say Jealous.

I do belive I did - after all we can't all wear such huge hats as Bruce Blank

 

(What? You made a ridiculous statement - I countered in the same vein. Make a joke, take a joke)

[Toxxic 0]

Nay Zed. The first Wrestling Panda happened ages ago. And... what am I supposed to say? Is Alex Zenon on the booking squad in kayfabe? It'd actually be helpful if I knew who the 'real' bookers were, since I'm assuming that the idiotic Peters is simply an on-air talent...

[Bruce Blank 0]

And the use of the term "talent" is even debatable

[chirs3 0]

... come to think of it, I have no clue who the kayfabe booking squad is either...

 

We'll sort this out.

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

Sarah's looking for a desk job between rehab sessions for a torn ACL.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

Suicide King would make an awesome kayfabe booker.