Im going to need some advice..

[tekcop 0]

As soon as I saw your name, I knew you were going to say something to that affect. I don't know why, but I just knew it.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

For what its worth..the girl that I deemed crazy's birthday is coming up..

I offered to bake her a cake..

 

She shot the birthday cake offer down, but only because....She wants a cheesecake instead since she doesn't like cake. Luckily, cheesecake is up on the list of desserts I can make..

 

FWIW part 2..I haven't heard from the other girl in a couple days...which figures.

[MrRant 0]

Wait.

 

You are baking a chick you don't know a cake?

[Slayer 0]

He didn't ask if you had a penis. He asked if you were male or female.

Ohhh, I get it

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Wait.

 

You are baking a chick you don't know a cake?

 

Well, a cheesecake. Her birthday is Thursday. She hasn't given me any clues as to what kind she wants..so Im gonna try and make one thats unique somehow, Im going shopping tomorrow with the intent of being able to get everything I dont have for about 5 bucks..In one of Alton Browns book he says "If you can consistently make good ones (cheesecake), fame will be yours and strangers will bow low when you walk by"..I make really damn good cakes (100% from scratch including the frosting) but I make an equally good cheesecake although I dont make them as often because Im not really a big cheesecake fan and they are a bit more work. I dont see how it would be any different from me meeting her and bringing her flowers or something like that. Im not giving her a card or anything though, or at least I dont plan on it. Plus, it gave me an in to actually meeting her..

 

I already prefaced the suggestion by saying that it was probably wierd for a stranger who she's never met to offer to bake a birthday cake, but that I bake birthday cakes for a lot of people (I do) and its something that most people seem to appreciate.. She's the one that wrote back and asked for a cheesecake...

 

I see this as playing up my strengths..plus all I ever hear is how women like it when a guy can cook..and she has already expressed her opinion on that to me (which is a small part of why I Feel shes a bit crazy..but Im not getting into details), which is why I felt that I could ask her about a cake..

 

For once Im actually feeling good about how this will go.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Marvin, you really need to get a clue.

 

Get some girl-friends, seriously.

[EricMM 0]

Not even girlfriends.

 

Hook up with a buzzed girl at a bar.

 

Let her turn you out, show you some things.

 

You'll get emotionally attached, but you'll get over it. The point is, you'll know it can be done. I'll bet in two months you can be all like Special K: SNORKEL! SNORKEL!

[Guest Princess Leena]

Follow Eric's advice.

 

I know Marvin wants a sweet girl for a relationship, but you really gotta build up the confidence first. You sound desperate as fuck.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

So..interesting story..

 

Got up this morning and finished up the cheesecake (Vanilla wafer crust and strawberries). I dropped it off to where she said she'd be for lunch. As I was walking towards her with it she started walking to me and she was like "did you get my email last night?" .. I was thinking "damn, what now?" but all I said was that I fell asleep early..anyway, she looked at me for a second and said that her email was that her friends were coming down Boston next weekend to celebrate her 21rst birthday (cant come down this weekend because of easter) and although she didn't know what they had planned, she was inviting me if I wanted to come...off the top of my head I said "like you don't know what they're planning.." which got a good laugh out of her. Then I said I'd have to think about it because I didn't know my schedule (which is a lie, Im off) but Id know tomorrow. So she says she'll talk to me tomorrow..I wished her a happy birthday and left.

 

So Im leaning towards going..the only problems being I dont know who her friends are (guys? girls? How many?) and whether or not they'd be cool with me running in on their plans especially if she doesn't ask them.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Marv, you just met her? And she's inviting you out with her friends? That's a pressure cooker right there.

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

Just go.

 

If you're really worried about stepping on toes, have a backup plan. You have to work early the next morning, so gotta go, buh bye.

 

The friends are from out of town, so I wouldn't really be biting my nails about what they think. You're not going to have to be around them all the time.

[tominator89 0]

I would recommend not going.

 

It sounds like you're not completely comfortable with this and her friends will likely have inside jokes or catching up to do on subjects that may leave you feeling left out.

 

The only way I see this working is dropping by for a very short amount of time, just enough to say hello, be social/make an appearance, and use the "I have to get up early for work" excuse.

[naiwf 0]

This is an avoid at all costs evening. If you blow it in front of all of her friends, you're done. Clearly they are from out of town and she won't see them all that often, so they will take precedence over you, and based on the vibe I'm getting from your hesitation, I doubt you'll have a good time. You also don't want to get drunk and say or do anything stupid, so just make it a point to politely decline, but make sure you get some one on one time once the friends are back wherever it is that they are coming from.

[Guest NYankees]

I need to see pix of this girl before I start offering any advice.

[Prime Time Andrew Doyle 0]

Yeah. We have to know whether or not she is worth persuing.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

This is an avoid at all costs evening. If you blow it in front of all of her friends, you're done. Clearly they are from out of town and she won't see them all that often, so they will take precedence over you, and based on the vibe I'm getting from your hesitation, I doubt you'll have a good time. You also don't want to get drunk and say or do anything stupid, so just make it a point to politely decline, but make sure you get some one on one time once the friends are back wherever it is that they are coming from.

 

Well..I went with this advice thinking that it made sense and basically I took out a raincheck to go out sometime when it would just be me and her. All I can say is I think shes pissed that I dont want to go out with her even if it is with her friends based on the email I just got but I honestly dont really know. She's on googletalk right now but wont talk to me, the last couple of times she's sent me a message as soon as she logged on. I was going to send another email but I think the damage has been done at least for now.

 

*CAR CRASH*

*price is right loser theme*

 

For what its worth, Im not gonna blame anyone..as much as I was looking forward to going, I dont think it would have worked out well like has been said. My job right now is to try and figure out what the hell is wrong, but the problem is my actual job is calling and I've got to go to work.

[Guest NYankees]

Dude you over analyze things way tooo fucking much. PLus where are the pix of this bitch. I need to see if she is worth you going fucking crazy over her for.

[Guest Princess Leena]

You did the right move by not going. I'm sure Sandra meant well... but, she should have known that it wouldn't have been an enjoyable situation for you if you attended.

 

I would have been honest about your reason not to go, though. Just say it would feel awkward going, when she's obviously going to spend most of her time reminiscing with her old friends. If she can't understand that, then she needs to be kicked to the curb.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I dont know what was wrong with her on saturday but she was on tonight and chatted with me for a while. No one mentioned anything about this weekend or anything..I thought about it and I probably would have if she had been able to stay on longer. At least for what its worth...she's not just hit the "abort" button and ignoring me like I was worried about.

[Guest Princess Leena]

Why were you worried.

 

Just fuck the bitch, and take control of the situation.

[RedJed 0]

Why were you worried.

 

Just fuck the bitch, and take control of the situation.

 

Gotta agree with the chica - you need to nut up a little bit and not overanalyze everything. That will turn her off more than anything you are or aren't doing. She probably wanted to meet you with her friends around because she didnt feel comfortable just hanging out alone with you, so either figure out if she will want to just hang out, you and her, make your move, or just don't bother anymore.

[EricMM 0]

Ultimately Leena's right.

 

You're giving her too much of the control. You must remember that she's looking for love, sex, and dating as much as you are. Everything she's got that you want, you technically have, and she wants it. You need to have as much control as she does, and it sure as fuck doesn't seem like you're treating her like an equal.

 

and RedJed is definitely correct too. You came here worrying about a situation, and I think it was that tone that you came with, not REALLY the situation, that caused most people here to tell you to stay away. Any guy worth his salt can get a girl who likes him to drop her friends for some alone time, it happens all the time. I'm sure you've had friends who abandoned all their friends, including you, when they met someone new.

 

Be that person. Start that up.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Be the best Marv that you can be!

[Stephen Joseph 0]

Marv,

 

Start acting like a man, please. For heaven's sake. You're pandering to her. It's sad.

 

I'm glad you didnt go out with her friends. Dude, if she was REALLY interested in you, she'd go out with you by herself. Plus, she would COUNTEROFFER if she wasn't available that night, rather than giving you the friends date.

 

You need to not consider her worthy of your attention. Move on.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Why were you worried.

 

Just fuck the bitch, and take control of the situation.

 

 

 

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Yeah, so for whatever reason I got back online about 10 minutes ago after watching Prison Break/24, and theres a new email sitting in my inbox. I wont go into details about it, but suffice to say Im back at square one yet again. I've lost count but I think this is at least #5..or 6..

 

So um, whatever..

[MrRant 0]

You need to stop the following:

 

A. Coming on too strong from what I've read.

 

B. Lacking Confidence

 

You need to start the following:

 

A. Get laid. Releases all that pent up whatever it is you have.

 

B. Be aloof to a point with the bitches. Don't become Betty Crocker because a bitch smiles at you.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

PLease never EVER bake a girl a cake EVER again. You shouldn't commit that much time and energy to someone who you don't know and even if it's not alot of time and effort to you, it will be perceived as time and effort so stop doing that shit. Even if you do know the person, you shouldn't be going grocery shopping and spending two hours baking them cakes. Actually, who the fuck does that girl think she is? I'll bet a billion dollars that nobody has ever baked her dumbass anything before and she's too good for a regular cake? She's out of her mind, but she was only doing what you were willing to let her do. I'm glad you didn't go waste your time hanging out with her friends. You need to start respecting yourself more. If yo don't respect yourself, how can you rerspect other people to respect you? You may respect yourself a little bit, but you need to respect yourself a little more. Also, you shouldn't be stressed at all over people who you have no real reason to have any emotinoal investment in. You've got to learn how to be a little more dettached.

[EricMM 0]

Its fine to bake a girl a cake. If you do it often. Or if it's your birthday. If you're a baker.

 

It's not always what you do, it's how and why and maybe when you do it.

[Guest Princess Leena]

Hey now, I baked 80 cupcakes for everyone at work once. It worked out nicely, too.

 

But, yeah, Marvin just needs a strong dose of confidence shot into him.