The Keltner List

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

As you all might imagine, the sudden retirement of Alex Gonzalez filled this Phillies fan with tremendous sadness. Gonzalez may have only hit .111 during his brief tenure, but his two walks boosted his OBP all the way to .158! Whenever the Phils needed a groundout to third, Gonzalez led the charge. But now he is gone, leaving us to ponder his Hall of Fame worthiness. The Keltner List is a series of 15 questions, meant to sort our thinking regarding his qualifications.

 

1. Was he ever regarded as the best player in baseball? Did anybody, while he was active, ever suggest that he was the best player in baseball?

No.

 

2. Was he the best player on his team?

He was the best player on the World Champion 2003 Florida Marlins. Unfortunately he was employed by the Chicago Cubs at the time.

 

3. Was he the best player in baseball at his position? Was he the best player in the league at his position?

He may have been the best hitter in the batter's box at some point, but that is debateable.

 

4. Did he have an impact on a number of pennant races?

Just the aforementioned 2003 playoffs. Gonzalez's error on a potential double play ball lead to seven runs.

 

5. Was he good enough that he could play regularly after passing his prime?

He wasn't good enough to play IN his prime.

 

6. Is he the very best baseball player in history who is not in the Hall of Fame?

Not even the Miami, Florida baseball Hall of Fame.

 

7. Are most players who have comparable statistics in the Hall of Fame?

Yes. Mostly ushers.

 

8. Do the player's numbers meet Hall of Fame standards?

Yes, provided you compare his hitting numbers to pitchers. And even Red Ruffing has him beat.

 

9. Is there any evidence to suggest that the player was significantly better or worse than is suggested by his statistics?

Yes. Whatever the numbers suggest, he was worse.

 

10. Is he the best player at his position who is eligible for the Hall of Fame?

He's not even the best Alex Gonzalez who's eligible.

 

11. How many MVP-type seasons did he have? Did he ever win an MVP award? If not, how many times was he close?

Zero. Shockingly, Gonzalez never received an MVP vote.

 

12. How many All-Star-type seasons did he have? How many All-Star games did he play in? Did most of the players who played in this many All-Star games go into the Hall of Fame?

None.

 

13. If this man were the best player on his team, would it be likely that the team could win the pennant?

Absolutely. There is no telling how many South Atlantic League championships Myrtle Beach could have won had the Blue Jays not promoted Gonzalez.

 

14. What impact did the player have on baseball history? Was he responsible for any rule changes? Did he introduce any new equipment? Did he change the game in any way?

He was a big factor in introducing the "Free Chris Coste" campaign.

 

15. Did the player uphold the standards of sportsmanship and character that the Hall of Fame, in its written guidelines, instructs us to consider?

Yeah, it's not like he beat up fans or anything. He just sucked.

 

Final Verdict: Close but no cigar.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

There's another Alex Gonzalez other than the one that sucked it up for the Jays?

[jwest27 0]

Boo-urns.

[bob_barron 0]

Did this need its own thread?

 

This was alright, but needs tweaking.

[Guest Princess Leena]

Can I play this game for Alex Rodriguez?

 

1. Was he ever regarded as the best player in baseball? Did anybody, while he was active, ever suggest that he was the best player in baseball?

Yes. He is every year.

 

2. Was he the best player on his team?

Best player on every team he's played on.

 

3. Was he the best player in baseball at his position? Was he the best player in the league at his position?

Yes. Infact, two positions during his career. SS and 3B. Hell, he's managed to be the best SS in the league, while not even playing the position.

 

4. Did he have an impact on a number of pennant races?

Yes. He's had an impact. That is all.

 

5. Was he good enough that he could play regularly after passing his prime?

A-Rod will always look like he's in his prime with his boyish good looks. So, I don't know.

 

6. Is he the very best baseball player in history who is not in the Hall of Fame?

Yes.

 

7. Are most players who have comparable statistics in the Hall of Fame?

Nobody has comparable stats. A-Rod is the greatest.

 

8. Do the player's numbers meet Hall of Fame standards?

No. There should be a special HOF just for him.

 

9. Is there any evidence to suggest that the player was significantly better or worse than is suggested by his statistics?

Yes. Worse. Because, he's not "clutch", or such poppycock.

 

10. Is he the best player at his position who is eligible for the Hall of Fame?

Indeedy.

 

11. How many MVP-type seasons did he have? Did he ever win an MVP award? If not, how many times was he close?

11. He won 2, I think. He should have won more.

 

12. How many All-Star-type seasons did he have? How many All-Star games did he play in? Did most of the players who played in this many All-Star games go into the Hall of Fame?

All of them.

 

A-Rod is 1st ballot.

 

13. If this man were the best player on his team, would it be likely that the team could win the pennant?

Absolutely. There is no telling how many South Atlantic League championships Myrtle Beach could have won had the Blue Jays not promoted Gonzalez.

 

14. What impact did the player have on baseball history? Was he responsible for any rule changes? Did he introduce any new equipment? Did he change the game in any way?

He was a big factor in introducing the "Free Chris Coste" campaign.

 

15. Did the player uphold the standards of sportsmanship and character that the Hall of Fame, in its written guidelines, instructs us to consider?

Yeah, it's not like he beat up fans or anything. He just sucked.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Did this need its own thread?

 

This was alright, but needs tweaking.

It didn't really fit anywhere else. Besides, I'm entitled to a bitter attack once in awhile.

[Guest]

I'd like it if this thread were to be used for all future Keltner lists, so that I don't have to go look for the other ones when this subject comes up.

[bob_barron 0]

Fair enough, as long as I'm entitled to my weekly or monthly Reitsma rants in the baseball threads

[Bored 0]

Dammit and I was really thinking of doing a Tribue to Alex Gonzalez thread for my next blog entry but I would talk about the other Alex Gonzalez and not realize it until the end of the entry. Hilarity would have ensued.

[Boon 0]

...

[therealworldschampion 0]

Gonzalez now joins the ranks of shitty Phillies that have left us: himself, Travis Lee, Inning-Endy Chavez, the list goes on and on...

[the pinjockey 0]

The real question is, does Gonzalez fare better on the list than John Marzano?

 

Might as well turn this into a completely bitter Phillies thread and mention the worst commentator in the history of Comcast.

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

The real question is, does Gonzalez fare better on the list than John Marzano?

 

Might as well turn this into a completely bitter Phillies thread and mention the worst commentator in the history of Comcast.

Yes, because no one ever pretended that Marzano was anything more than a backup catcher. I'll also point out for everyone else that he never actually played for the Phils.

[Guest Felonies!]

Similarly, Hawk Harrelson never played a game for the White Sox, which makes his over-the-top homerism kinda disingenuous. Ron Santo and Mike Shannon are always brought up in the "shitty homer announcer" category, but at least they're well-known alumni of their respective teams. Oh well. I only have to listen to Hawk like one more time this year. At least he vanishes for innings at a time.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Why does it seem that it would be appropriate to do the hand zipping over the head to several of the people in this thread? I thought it was pretty obvious this was tongue in cheek.