Superman Returns

[The Amazing Rando 0]

i didn't really like the movie because when Superman ejaculates, it's the mass confusion I'm so hypnotizin' cause an ill-*Splort*

 

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

 

Everyone has to read that.

 

It was written, what. 15 years before I was born? This is what scifi writers did when they were bored.

 

I think I read this shit when I was 12. I laughed and laughed, and I didn't know a fucking thing about Superman.. Well, nerd humor is still humor.

 

*splort*

 

 

On "The Science of Superman", they try to explain how Superman, traveling an estimated 100,000+ mph, could catch Lois falling from the helicopter at terminal velocity and NOT kill her. I'm thinking that since he can take a huge amount of force hitting him at one time, that his body simply absorbed the energy of the two colliding, and thus I'm thinking if they were doing the Horizontal Injustice that he would find a way to release his muscular energy in such a way that she wouldn't find it any different than a normal earth male. He apparently has some control over the gravity around him (in order to fly) so he could have himself suspended a tiiiiiny amount above her and the bed and float his body in such a way as to not , ahem, arouse suspicion.

 

I'm also thinking he could probably control any discharge so as to not decapitate his lady friend. That's a hard Hallmark card to find for the saddened parents.

[Special K 0]

It's good fun.

 

/Flash runs really, really fast

 

/hits a butterfly

 

/chest explodes

[AndrewTS 0]

It's good fun.

 

/Flash runs really, really fast

 

/hits a butterfly

 

/chest explodes

 

Not sure about that, but this would certainly be messy:

 

http://www.superdickery.com/dick/130.html

[Slayer 0]

Saw it earlier today. Enjoyed it overall, though I had some issues here and there:

 

-

"Superboy."

I'm not sure what to make of that

 

- Parker Posey has been horrible in everything I've seen her in, and this was no exception

 

- Kate Bosworth seemed okay at points, but other times she was horribly wooden. Plus I kept thinking of her as "that chick from Blue Crush"

 

- The movie did move along fairly nicely up until the

Luther-Superman face-to-face confrontation

, then it dragged a bit from there, especially with the

continual leaving and going back to the crystal island

 

One thing I would like to have seen was after the bank robber tries to shoot Superman (and fails, of course), the robber should have thrown the gun at him, in an homage to the classic joke.

 

I'd rank it behind BB and probably on par with the Spiderman movies.

[AndrewTS 0]

Does anyone have the plot summary for that piece of crap with the Draongball Z Kryptonian fights?

 

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=13350

[ZGangsta 0]

Does anyone have the plot summary for that piece of crap with the Draongball Z Kryptonian fights?

 

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=13350

It's shit like that that makes me think the people who love JJ Abrams are fucking nuts.

I swear, I remember the first time I read that script report, if I had run into Abrams on the street or something, I would have kicked him right in the nuts without a second thought.

 

My favorite part of that script review:

I’m not even a major Superman nut. I’m not going to pretend that I have some overriding passion about this particular character and what he means or his iconic value or anything. Superman is, I think, fairly potent pop mythology, and the best Superman stories are slight moral fables with some kick ass adventure and action thrown in. His origin is one of the most recognizable in all of Western literature. His planet explodes. He comes to Earth. He’s raised as human. The sun gives him powers. And he chooses to do good in this world. Pretty simple stuff. Pretty hard to screw up.

 

So, of course, first off, Krypton doesn’t explode.

[AndrewTS 0]

Yup, and yet there's kryptonite...and about a hundred other plot holes.

 

I love the part where his dad says "hey, you're supposed to save Krypton later in the trilogy, so what is your lazy ass doing dead? Get back in that body, Kal-El!"

 

Sadly that's actually one of the better scripts. It could have been even worse.

 

"1. I don't want to see him in that suit.

2. I don't want to see him fly.

3. He fights a giant spider in the 3rd act."

[Kaertos 0]

About the whole "Man of Steel / Woman of Tissue Paper" thing: Just remember, when Supes and Lois did the horizonatal mambo, he was de-powered by the crystal closet in the Fortress of Solitude. Thus, none of the "blowing off her head" stuff applies.

[dubq 0]

Yup, and yet there's kryptonite...and about a hundred other plot holes.

 

I love the part where his dad says "hey, you're supposed to save Krypton later in the trilogy, so what is your lazy ass doing dead? Get back in that body, Kal-El!"

 

Sadly that's actually one of the better scripts. It could have been even worse.

 

"1. I don't want to see him in that suit.

2. I don't want to see him fly.

3. He fights a giant spider in the 3rd act."

 

Don't forget Brainiac's gay-black-robot sidekick.

[Damaramu 0]

Does anyone have a transcribtion of the Kevin Smith interview?

[Damaramu 0]

ya know the Abrams script sucked for Superman but would've made a decent cartoon or action movie.

[Maztinho 0]

Yup, and yet there's kryptonite...and about a hundred other plot holes.

 

I love the part where his dad says "hey, you're supposed to save Krypton later in the trilogy, so what is your lazy ass doing dead? Get back in that body, Kal-El!"

 

Sadly that's actually one of the better scripts. It could have been even worse.

 

"1. I don't want to see him in that suit.

2. I don't want to see him fly.

3. He fights a giant spider in the 3rd act."

 

Don't forget Brainiac's gay-black-robot sidekick.

 

"Brainiac, why you always gotta be trying to kill that sterling hunk of space meat? Bitches be trippin'."

 

I'd watch it.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

I thought of some good for

Superman's son

if the next movie were to have Brainiac in it.

 

Ala Star Trek III, Brainiac kills him. Thus enraging Superman and bringing him to get revenge.

 

But that's just my view on the whole thing.

[Guest Askewniverse]

Yup, and yet there's kryptonite...and about a hundred other plot holes.

 

I love the part where his dad says "hey, you're supposed to save Krypton later in the trilogy, so what is your lazy ass doing dead? Get back in that body, Kal-El!"

 

Sadly that's actually one of the better scripts. It could have been even worse.

 

"1. I don't want to see him in that suit.

2. I don't want to see him fly.

3. He fights a giant spider in the 3rd act."

 

Don't forget Brainiac's gay-black-robot sidekick.

And Brainiac fighting polar bears.

 

 

Does anyone have a transcribtion of the Kevin Smith interview?

.

 

I posted it earlier, but I guess you missed it.

[ZGangsta 0]

Yup, and yet there's kryptonite...and about a hundred other plot holes.

 

I love the part where his dad says "hey, you're supposed to save Krypton later in the trilogy, so what is your lazy ass doing dead? Get back in that body, Kal-El!"

 

Sadly that's actually one of the better scripts. It could have been even worse.

 

"1. I don't want to see him in that suit.

2. I don't want to see him fly.

3. He fights a giant spider in the 3rd act."

 

Don't forget Brainiac's gay-black-robot sidekick.

And Brainiac fighting polar bears.

 

 

Does anyone have a transcribtion of the Kevin Smith interview?

.

 

I posted it earlier, but I guess you missed it.

God that's hillarious. Amazing payoff at the very end of the story.

[spman 0]

I drove out about a half hour to see it again today in IMAX 3D. It was pretty neat, the 3D Effects were pretty cool, but only the trailers and 4 segments of the film were in 3D. It was something different, but considering how I could see it as many times as I want at work for free, it didn't seem like a bargain for 10.50 per tickets.

[AndrewTS 0]

I didn't forget about the other stuff, it's just something that any writer that was a fan of Supes would hear and be like "WTF?!" Even if the WWE writers didn't suck by themselves, you have folks like that dictating the way things go.

 

Peters didn't get enough of the Discovery Channel if he thinks spiders are insects. And unless he misquoted Peters, they were going to have polar bears in the Antarctic, although the Fortress is generally in the Arctic where there are actually polar bears.

 

ya know the Abrams script sucked for Superman but would've made a decent cartoon or action movie.

 

Maybe someone will use it for when the Indian Superman returns.

 

I honestly don't have a problem with the "superman suit in a can" thing provided it isn't "too big for him" at any point. Sure, it's a total ripoff of the Marvel symbiotes, but the development of a docile life form that apparently climbs onto your skin and would presumably be invulnerable under a yellow sun doesn't seem beyond Krypton's "So-incredible-why-the-hell-didn't-we-think-of-a-way-to-save-ourselves" super-science.

 

Plus it makes more sense than the explanations for Supes' costume previously.

 

"It's krypton cloth! It's super here! Martha Kent made it by...um...unraveling Kal's baby blanket thread-by-thread."

 

"It's like, Supes' solar charged aura, which makes it durable because it's so close to his skin."

[Damaramu 0]

Does anyone have the plot summary for that piece of crap with the Draongball Z Kryptonian fights?

 

The Entire Story of The Atteempted Making of Superman V in The 90's

 

I saw the movie at the Ultrascreen which is about as close at the IMAX without paying for the insane fee's that my offer for the film. I thought that the film was great, with a lot of great performances overall. I really like Spacey, Routh, kid who played Olsen, and Perry White. Spacey and Routh both did the characters well, and Spacey was over the top, but not as bad as Hackman and Nicholson. Routh did good being the bumbling Kent, and played the role very well. The supporting cast did fairly good, and I even liked that guy who played Cyclops whom I hated. The kid really wasn't that damn annoying (see Superman III) and I liked the whole feel. I really didn't like Bosworth though, she wasn't that good as Lane. It wasn't worst peice of casting for a comic book film (honor goes to Alba in FF) but they could've casted somebody who at-least had a backbone. Overall, the second best comic book film I ever saw, next to Batman Begins. 9/10.

 

 

Damn after reading that it makes me wonder how they were able to return to regular Superman and make everything normal again(well more normal than that)?

And was that idiot Peters still attached?

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Chiming in sort of late here, but finally got a chance to see the movie last night. I was really, really disappointed in this film. I wouldn't go so far as to say I hated it, but there were just so many misfires and I never found myself enjoying the film whatsover. Couple of notes:

 

-Lois Lane was horribly miscast. I never bought into the character or the relationship with Superman.

-Most of the dialogue was wooden. There was no feeling or emotion and it made the characters come off flat

-Spacey was phenomenal, but his part was so small and the supposed climactic confrontation with Superman was anything but

-The movie was too long. The first 30 minutes or so was completely unnecessary and dragged the movie to a crawl right off the bat

-And finally, it was sort of corny, which I guess is to be expected with the source material, but it just lacked the believability that was captured by Batman Begins, Spiderman, X-Men, etc. One of the weaker comic adaptations of the past few years

[Dr. Zaius 0]

I thought of some good for

Superman's son

if the next movie were to have Brainiac in it.

 

Ala Star Trek III, Brainiac kills him. Thus enraging Superman and bringing him to get revenge.

 

But that's just my view on the whole thing.

 

"You cyborg bastard, you killed my son!"

[Dr. Zaius 0]

Damn after reading that it makes me wonder how they were able to return to regular Superman and make everything normal again(well more normal than that)?

And was that idiot Peters still attached?

I finally got my copy of "Look Up in the Sky" from amazon.com today. It was interesting to watch Jon Peters admit he didn't know what he was doing through most of the 1990s trying to get a new Superman movie made.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Hmm, bumping this for a thought:

 

Going through some of the Superman Rogues, who would make good actors to play these parts?

 

-Darkseid (No offense, but casual people more recognize him as a Superman villain than as a villain of his own series. Yes, I know the truth, but he'd work in a movie for Superman, I think)

-Bizarro (probably whoever plays Superman)

-Metallo

-Mongul

-Mr. Mxyzptlk

-Brainiac

-Parasite

-The Prankster

-Doomsday

-Toyman

-Cyborg Superman

-Livewire

-Kryptonite Man

 

And though they became their own characters, they could be used to spin off their own movies (possibly)

 

-Maxima

-Lobo

 

EDIT: And since Y2Jerk mentioned her in the next post, and it's made me think...

-Supergirl

[SuperJerk 0]

Darkseid should be saved for if they ever do a Fourth World movie.

 

Bizarro would only work if they did him as a pure evil clone, instead of a dumb clone with Superman's powers who speaks in opposites.

 

I'd really like to see Brainiac, Kryptonite Man, or Metallo in a movie, though.

 

And Supergirl.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Darkseid should be saved for if they ever do a Fourth World movie.

 

Bizarro would only work if they did him as a pure evil clone, instead of a dumb clone with Superman's powers who speaks in opposites.

 

I'd really like to see Brainiac, Kryptonite Man, or Metallo in a movie, though.

 

And Supergirl.

Well, that Bizarro you mentioned was sorta used in "Lois and Clark"

 

But you didn't answer the question...who would be good actors to play each part?

 

Like, for a live-action Brainiac, for example.

[dubq 0]

Darkseid :: Ron Pearlman. I couldn't think of anyone else and figured he could do well since he has the voice and because of how well he looked in Hellboy style getup/makeup. That said, I bet Michael Ironside would work too - moreso even since he kicked ass as the voice of Darkseid in the animated series'.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Just give me Braniac for the next Superman movie, that'd be awesome.

[ZGangsta 0]

The almighty lord ZOD has graced us with his thoughts on Superman Returns.

[AmericanDragon 0]

Singer's reaction to POTC2's box office.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRbQDqRa9Ew

[Epic Reine 0]

I just saw it last night and while I didn't hate it, it really wasn't anything special. Keep in mind that I'm not a Superman fan to being with.

 

I really don't think the concept of Superman works in present day. A guy who is seemingly invinsible that can fly, has ungodly strengh, and can run extremeley fast is too cheesy to pull off in a modern day setting. I can see it working in the 70's and even 80's but not in fucking 2006. It's not like Spider-Man and Batman where they can work in any era and not come off as hokey.

 

It also really blows my mind how NOBODY can fucking figure out at that Superman is really Clark Kent. The same day Superman returns is the same day Clark Kent returns to the Daily Planet. When Superman is out saving the world, Clark Kent is nowhere to be seen. No one questions this? No one can put two and two together?.

 

Again, the concept would have work about 30 years ago. I think the movie would have fared better if it took place in an older setting.

[SuperJerk 0]

I can buy the concept of Clark Kent because people always tell me I look like a different person without my glasses on. When I was in high school, a girl asked me to take my glasses off, and her reaction was "Oh my God" (in a good way). Add speech patterns, body language, and hairstyle to that, and you've got a pretty decent disguise. I know that when John Byrne was writing Superman, Superman tried to not allow his face to be photographed and vibrated it at superhuman speed just enough so any picture of him would appear slightly burry. Thus, the only thing people would remember about him was his costume. The only people who have spent any bit of time with both Superman and Clark Kent are Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen (and some continuities, Lex Luthor). They probably think there's a strong resemblance, but are so put off by how differently the two look/act/sound that they dismiss the connection. As far Clark and Superman never being anywhere at the same time, I've never been in the same place at the same time as George Bush, but nobody thinks we're the same person.

 

I know that's not a perfect answer, but its just enough for me personally to suspend disbelief and let myself get sucked into the stories with.