"Lady in the Water" reviews & thoughts

[Gary Floyd 0]

I'm not going to bother with it. The commercials (with the whispering little girl who is suppossed to sound spooky, but just sounds annoying) are dreadful.

[Mole 0]

did you take one of atkinson's shitty summer classes at NYU or something?

No he was my Screenwriting 2 prof at CW Post.

[bobobrazil1984 0]

too bad, i really like his first 3 movies. I do get a very "village" vibe from this. For god's sake, just direct something you didn't write for once.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

I saw the trailer for the movie and I could already say it looked fucking retarded. I haven't forgiven him for the shitfest of a movie called the Village. Fool me once, shame on you. Feel me twice, shame on me and that ain't happening!

[Epic Reine 0]

The Village sucked but I have forgiven Shyamalan. Unbreakable is his best movie while Signs and Sixth Sense are both decent.

 

I'm gonna give this movie a try. If it sucks like The Village did then I'll jump on the M. Night hating bandwagon.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

So what's the twist?

 

Snape kills Dumbledore. Also, Rosebud is a sled, soylent green is made of people, it's really the future Earth, it was Leonard who killed his wife and Teddy's just using him, Bruce Willis was dead all along, Mr. Glass is evil, the Village is in modern times, Norman Bates is schitzo and is pretending to be his mom, Andy Dufrense is actually planning on breaking out of prison, It is a giant spider, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, LCDR Tom Farrel is Yuri, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, Mark Felt was Deep Throat, he did it with a moveable stage that rotated to obscure the Statue of Liberty, Charlie Kaufman doesn't really have a brother, all the Knights get arrested, Loren Visser faked the hit, the priest is the werewolf, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, the angels are his son and daughter, Dil is a man, and Tyler Durden doesn't really exist.

 

Oh wait, you wanted spoilers for "Lady." Sorry, haven't seen it. I just assumed it turns out that Paul Giamatti was dreaming. No? Sorry for ruining Harry Potter, Citizen Kaine, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Memento, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Village, Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, It, Star Wars, No Way Out, real life, All the President's Men, David Copperfield's trick, Adapatation, Monty Python and The Search For The Holy Grail, Blood Simple, Cycle of the Werewolf, Twilight Zone, What Dreams May Come, The Crying Game, and Fight Club for you. By the way if you haven't seen one or more of these, please don't read the preceding paragraph. kthxbye.

[Mole 0]

too bad, i really like his first 3 movies. I do get a very "village" vibe from this. For god's sake, just direct something you didn't write for once.

He's interested in directing one of the Potter movies.

[Ripper 0]

I liked the village...

 

 

thats all I got.

[SuperJerk 0]

I really liked Unbreakable until the last 2 minutes. I haven't seen one of his movies since.

[bob_barron 0]

Deon stole that joke from YTMND

[SuperJerk 0]

Deon stole that joke from YTMND

Some of it, but not all. Probably half.

[Damaramu 0]

So what's the twist?

 

Snape kills Dumbledore. Also, Rosebud is a sled, soylent green is made of people, it's really the future Earth, it was Leonard who killed his wife and Teddy's just using him, Bruce Willis was dead all along, Mr. Glass is evil, the Village is in modern times, Norman Bates is schitzo and is pretending to be his mom, Andy Dufrense is actually planning on breaking out of prison, It is a giant spider, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, LCDR Tom Farrel is Yuri, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, Mark Felt was Deep Throat, he did it with a moveable stage that rotated to obscure the Statue of Liberty, Charlie Kaufman doesn't really have a brother, all the Knights get arrested, Loren Visser faked the hit, the priest is the werewolf, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, the angels are his son and daughter, Dil is a man, and Tyler Durden doesn't really exist.

 

Oh wait, you wanted spoilers for "Lady." Sorry, haven't seen it. I just assumed it turns out that Paul Giamatti was dreaming. No? Sorry for ruining Harry Potter, Citizen Kaine, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Memento, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Village, Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, It, Star Wars, No Way Out, real life, All the President's Men, David Copperfield's trick, Adapatation, Monty Python and The Search For The Holy Grail, Blood Simple, Cycle of the Werewolf, Twilight Zone, What Dreams May Come, The Crying Game, and Fight Club for you. By the way if you haven't seen one or more of these, please don't read the preceding paragraph. kthxbye.

[teke184 0]

Speaking of M. Night oohlaoohlalaShamalamadingdong...

 

 

Joel Siegel from Good Morning America walked out of the Clerks 2 screening halfway through, disrupting it in the process.

 

In Kevin Smith's response on MySpace, he goes off on some of Siegel's annoying habits (pun-tastic quotes for his reviews) and for sucking M. Night's cock for stuff like "Lady In The Water".

 

 

 

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/pagesix_u.htm

 

 

CRITIC FLEES 'SMUT' SCREENING

 

 

Email Archives

Print Reprint

Feeds Newsletters

View PageSix on one page

 

July 19, 2006 -- DON'T joke about women, donkeys and bestiality if you expect Joel Siegel to watch your movie. That's what director Kevin Smith found out when the pun-loving "Good Morning America" film critic stormed out of a press screening of Smith's "Clerks II," which opens Friday - an act that's sparked a vicious war of words between the two.

 

"Time to go!" roared Siegel to his fellow critics. "First movie I've walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!" His tirade came 40 minutes into the long-awaited Weinstein Company sequel to Smith's 1994 cult classic about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks who razz customers and goof off.

 

In the scene that sent Siegel to the exit, the characters graphically discuss hiring a woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel told Page Six: "It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive . . . I wasn't ready for this kind of smut . . . I hope he doesn't make any more movies."

 

An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog: "Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For 'Pirates 2,' he made us all titter with 'Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun' . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, 'Wheelie Good Time for "Cars." ' I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy."

 

And there's more: "I don't need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan's, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he's even seen it, but [bleep] man, man - how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don't like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie's playing.

 

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ' "Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time' - so don't [bleep] with my stuff while it's still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of 'Scary Movie' 4' while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass [bleep]."

[SuperJerk 0]

Speaking of M. Night oohlaoohlalaShamalamadingdong...

 

That'll be someone's username by the end of the week.

[Maztinho 0]

Speaking of M. Night oohlaoohlalaShamalamadingdong...

 

 

Joel Siegel from Good Morning America walked out of the Clerks 2 screening halfway through, disrupting it in the process.

 

In Kevin Smith's response on MySpace, he goes off on some of Siegel's annoying habits (pun-tastic quotes for his reviews) and for sucking M. Night's cock for stuff like "Lady In The Water".

 

 

 

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/pagesix_u.htm

 

 

CRITIC FLEES 'SMUT' SCREENING

 

 

Email Archives

Print Reprint

Feeds Newsletters

View PageSix on one page

 

July 19, 2006 -- DON'T joke about women, donkeys and bestiality if you expect Joel Siegel to watch your movie. That's what director Kevin Smith found out when the pun-loving "Good Morning America" film critic stormed out of a press screening of Smith's "Clerks II," which opens Friday - an act that's sparked a vicious war of words between the two.

 

"Time to go!" roared Siegel to his fellow critics. "First movie I've walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!" His tirade came 40 minutes into the long-awaited Weinstein Company sequel to Smith's 1994 cult classic about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks who razz customers and goof off.

 

In the scene that sent Siegel to the exit, the characters graphically discuss hiring a woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel told Page Six: "It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive . . . I wasn't ready for this kind of smut . . . I hope he doesn't make any more movies."

 

An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog: "Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For 'Pirates 2,' he made us all titter with 'Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun' . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, 'Wheelie Good Time for "Cars." ' I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy."

 

And there's more: "I don't need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan's, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he's even seen it, but [bleep] man, man - how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don't like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie's playing.

 

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ' "Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time' - so don't [bleep] with my stuff while it's still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of 'Scary Movie' 4' while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass [bleep]."

 

What did Siegel expect from Clerks 2?

[teke184 0]

Speaking of M. Night oohlaoohlalaShamalamadingdong...

 

 

Joel Siegel from Good Morning America walked out of the Clerks 2 screening halfway through, disrupting it in the process.

 

In Kevin Smith's response on MySpace, he goes off on some of Siegel's annoying habits (pun-tastic quotes for his reviews) and for sucking M. Night's cock for stuff like "Lady In The Water".

 

 

 

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/pagesix_u.htm

 

 

CRITIC FLEES 'SMUT' SCREENING

 

 

Email Archives

Print Reprint

Feeds Newsletters

View PageSix on one page

 

July 19, 2006 -- DON'T joke about women, donkeys and bestiality if you expect Joel Siegel to watch your movie. That's what director Kevin Smith found out when the pun-loving "Good Morning America" film critic stormed out of a press screening of Smith's "Clerks II," which opens Friday - an act that's sparked a vicious war of words between the two.

 

"Time to go!" roared Siegel to his fellow critics. "First movie I've walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!" His tirade came 40 minutes into the long-awaited Weinstein Company sequel to Smith's 1994 cult classic about two foul-mouthed Long Island convenience store clerks who razz customers and goof off.

 

In the scene that sent Siegel to the exit, the characters graphically discuss hiring a woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel told Page Six: "It was so foul and mean and repulsive. I finally realized I could not say anything positive . . . I wasn't ready for this kind of smut . . . I hope he doesn't make any more movies."

 

An apoplectic Smith fired back on his MySpace blog: "Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For 'Pirates 2,' he made us all titter with 'Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun' . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, 'Wheelie Good Time for "Cars." ' I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy."

 

And there's more: "I don't need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan's, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he's even seen it, but [bleep] man, man - how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don't like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie's playing.

 

"I don't come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ' "Shark Tale" Is a Halibut Good Time' - so don't [bleep] with my stuff while it's still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of 'Scary Movie' 4' while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya' rude-ass [bleep]."

 

What did Siegel expect from Clerks 2?

 

Not quite sure... and this was a guy who, when interviewed, talked about how much he liked the *original* Clerks, which included references to snowballing, necrophilia, and self-fellatio.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Deon stole that joke from YTMND

 

[Scroby 0]

I'm a mark, yes. I listened to Stern since 94 and I even realize the show is nothing compared to, but I can't stop listening. Hey, it's just like WWE!

I can give you another radio show to get hooked on if your up for it....and chances are you WILL get hooked to it.

 

The Doghouse

 

Anyways back to M. Night Shamaladingdog, I haven't watched his movies since I saw "signs". I was so pist off that the movie built you up for something to happen and nothing happen. Unbreakable was a great movie but ever since Signs I have had no desire to see another M. Night film.

[bobobrazil1984 0]

too bad, i really like his first 3 movies. I do get a very "village" vibe from this. For god's sake, just direct something you didn't write for once.

He's interested in directing one of the Potter movies.

 

That would be perfect. He is a good director but it seems his screenwriting skills have gone to shit. Movie 6 would be great, since it's so dark.

[ZGangsta 0]

So what's the twist?

 

Snape kills Dumbledore. Also, Rosebud is a sled, soylent green is made of people, it's really the future Earth, it was Leonard who killed his wife and Teddy's just using him, Bruce Willis was dead all along, Mr. Glass is evil, the Village is in modern times, Norman Bates is schitzo and is pretending to be his mom, Andy Dufrense is actually planning on breaking out of prison, It is a giant spider, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, LCDR Tom Farrel is Yuri, Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, Mark Felt was Deep Throat, he did it with a moveable stage that rotated to obscure the Statue of Liberty, Charlie Kaufman doesn't really have a brother, all the Knights get arrested, Loren Visser faked the hit, the priest is the werewolf, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, the angels are his son and daughter, Dil is a man, and Tyler Durden doesn't really exist.

 

Oh wait, you wanted spoilers for "Lady." Sorry, haven't seen it. I just assumed it turns out that Paul Giamatti was dreaming. No? Sorry for ruining Harry Potter, Citizen Kaine, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Memento, Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Village, Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, It, Star Wars, No Way Out, real life, All the President's Men, David Copperfield's trick, Adapatation, Monty Python and The Search For The Holy Grail, Blood Simple, Cycle of the Werewolf, Twilight Zone, What Dreams May Come, The Crying Game, and Fight Club for you. By the way if you haven't seen one or more of these, please don't read the preceding paragraph. kthxbye.

Dude, you totally forgot to spoil The Usual Suspects.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

The trouble is he's put it together so hamfistedly, with such overwrought, cringe-worthy dialogue, you'll half wonder if he's going to pull one of his patented twist endings and reveal the entire apartment complex is actually an insane asylum.

 

THAT should be the alternate ending.

[Chuck Woolery 0]

I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy.

 

ouch.

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

Signs was the movie my ex would put on so we could fuck without being noticed by his dad and step-mom.

 

Still haven't seen all of it. Haven't seen The Village and probably won't see this one.

 

I liked Sixth Sense and Unbreakable.

[Guest Felonies!]

I knew that post was too not-written-by-a-12-year-old for Deon.

 

I think I have at least one friendship that is sometimes held together by nothing more than a common hatred for Signs.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

I knew that post was too not-written-by-a-12-year-old for Deon.

 

I think I have at least one friendship that is sometimes held together by nothing more than a common hatred for Signs.

 

Two, now.

 

[cd213 0]

I saw an advanced screening last night of Lady in the Water. I am a HUGE Night fan. I have enjoyed everything he has done, including The Village. Just because a movie is slow and based on dialouge doesn't make it bad. God forbid someone actually comes up with an original idea instead of remaking a movie, people get hissy about it.

 

I really enjoyed Lady in the Water. It was a fun movie. Night is the kind of person in movies that you either love his stuff or you hate his stuff. Paul Giamatti was great as Cleveland Heep and the rest of the cast equally good.

 

I hope he doesn't stop writing because I find his work to be very thought provoking and entertaining. You don't have to go to the movies to see things getting blown up all the time. He makes movies that make you think, which isn't a bad thing.

 

The film is very wordy and feels longer then the 1 hour and 45 minute running time, but the payoff was a good one, at leat for a Night fan. If you don't like Night, don't see the film, if you are fan, go see it now!

[Guest Felonies!]

He makes movies that make you think

Yeah, they make me think "why am I sitting here watching this shitty movie"

[Mole 0]

Good God, what a piss of shit.

 

The best part was when I yelled boo at the end and everyone had a good laugh.

[cabbageboy 0]

You know, back when The Village came out I said that Shyamalan was a carnival con man with a sense of self importance. The major problem he has is that he simply cannot tell a story without resorting to a crutch like

"OMG Bruce Willis is dead! OMG Samuel Jackson is the killer! OMG the monsters aren't real and they are really living in modern times!"

 

The big problem with The Village is that the big shock plays itself out over such a long period of time that there is no suspense. And the scenes that are effective like

the blind girl being confronted by the monster that is actually the retard

are actively sabotaged by the fact that we already know the truth!

 

I might go see this at some point but I really run hot and cold on M. Night's efforts. I must be one of the few here who really enjoyed Signs, though I found it much more effective in the theater where tiny bits of business like a dog barking can cause a chill (whereas it's a ho hum scene at home). Unbreakable was pretty decent mainly because it wasn't so hyped that I already knew the ending, though it kinda runs out of steam before the twist. In fact I think Sixth Sense is easily his lamest movie. It's a one trick pony. Once you know the "shock" ending you can't watch the movie again and give a shit, which is ironic given the kind of repeat business it did.

[cynicalprofit 0]

Am I alone, or did seeing the trailer for the movie not just say, this movie will suck? Come on, was it just not that obvious?