The Wrestling Panda's SWF Results Section

[Toxxic 0]

THE FICTIONAL WORLD TOUR CONTINUES!

 

Lockdown, broadcast 7/5/06 from the Satellite of Love

 

Ciro Vitale def. Martin Hunt via submission with the Italian Crab.

 

Wildchild def. Kery Staunton via pinfall following the Presumed Guilty.

 

HOUSE RULES: ROCKET NUMBER NINE MATCH

Jimmy The Doom def. Mike Van Siclen via pinfall after stomping his head into ring steps.

 

HANDICAP MATCH

Tom Flesher© & Charlie Matthews© def. Grendel via countout when Grendel ran after having his mask ripped off. Looks like someone needs some zit cream.

 

WORLD TITLE

Michael Stephens© def. Bruce Blank by pinfall following the Sunny In England.

 

 

 

 

 

Smarkdown, broadcast 7/10/06 from the Jedi Temple on Coruscant

 

PUNISHMENT MATCH

Mike Van Siclen def. Cardboard Comet with the Riot Act and a complete lack of effort.

 

MANSON def. Austin Sly by frying him with lightning, using a force choke(slam) and then kerbstomping his head into a chair. Sly's head explodes. So basically, he won by MANSONOSITY!

 

Scott Rageheart def. Wildchild via pinfall with a Tiger Driver.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH

Tom Flesher def. Landon Maddix via pinfall with a small package.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE

'Iron' Mike Cross© and Zyon go to a no-contest as Akira and The Axis run in and shit.

 

 

 

 

 

Storm, broadcast 7/14/06 from Milliways (the restuarant at the end of the universe)

 

Wildchild def. Ced Ordonez via pinfall following the Wild Ride.

 

Trent Hawk def. Zyon via pinfall following the Rolling The Credits.

 

HARDCORE MATCH

Bruce Blank def. Mike Van Siclen via submission by trapping his arm in a chair and standing on it.

 

Spike Jenkins def. Matt "Amy Stephens" Myers via pinfall after hitting seven other people's finishers, then the Endwell. The cad.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT RULES (NON-TITLE)

Mike Cross© def. Grendel via pinfall following the Devil's Soul Snare.

 

Michael Stephens & Landon Maddix def. The New Doomtopians when Stephens pinned The Doomstroyer following the Sunny In England.

 

 

 

 

 

Lockdown, broadcast 7/19/06 from the Gurubashi PVP Arena in Stranglethorn Vale, Azeroth

 

Jimmy The Doom def. Ciro Vitale via pinfall following a basement dropkick.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE TOURNAMENT

Spike Jenkins def. MANSON via submission with the Rings of Saturn. Fuck World of Warcraft.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE TOURNAMENT

Akira Kaibatsu def. Austin Sly via submission with the Anaconda Vice.

 

Charlie Matthews decided not to wrestle Grendel, and just beat him down a bit instead. Makes sense.

 

Wildchild def. Tom Flesher via pinfall with a moonsault.

 

INTERNATIONAL TOURNAMENT

Bruce Blank def. Zyon via pinfall following the Broken Dreams. Someone please tell me how a running tombstone piledriver actually works, cos I'm not seeing it.

 

Michael Stephens & Landon Maddix def. Scott Rageheart and Kerry Staunton via pinfall following a Shining Wizard by Maddix on Staunton.

 

INTERNATIONAL TOURNAMENT

Mike Cross def. Jay Hawke via pinfall following the Silent Rage Syndrome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smarkdown, broadcast 7/24/06 from Jurassic Park

 

A Velociraptor def. An Octopus by eating him.

 

Nemesis def. Ced Ordonez via pinfall following the Fall From Mount Olympus.

 

Scott Rageheart & Kerry Staunton def. The Axis (Trent Hawk and Ciro Vitale) via Canadianosity, or something equally lame and unoriginal.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE

Bruce Blank def. Michael Cross via pinfall with a Small Package to win the International Title. Also in the match were Akira Kaibatsu and Spike Jenkins.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SWF GROUND ZERO, broadcast LIVE~ from The Gund Arena in... well, an alternate timeline, for one. I don't know where the Gund is, I'm not American.

 

'The Beast' Gabriel Drake def. Ced Ordonez via pinfall following two powerbombs and a spiral powerbomb.

 

HARDCORE MATCH

MANSON def. Nemesis via pinfall after backdropping him through a table from a balcony, then dropping a Savage Elbow on him from the balcony.

 

Wildchild def. Kerry Staunton & Scott Rageheart via DQ when Mike Van Siclen attacked him. As Wildchild didn't win by either pinfall or submission, he's suspended for 50 days.

 

Akira Kaibatsu and Spike Jenkins go to a time limit draw, and then Akira powerbombs Spike in the unofficial 'five more minutes' to beat him via pinfall. Spike claims he never agreed to it. Spoon.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE

Bruce Blank© def. Charlie 'Grappler' Matthews via pinfall following the Broken Dream to retain the title.

 

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE

Michael Stephens© def. JJ Johnson via submission with the RTF II to retain the title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CANADIAN TOUR!!

 

Aftershoxxx, broadcast 8/4/06 from the General Motors Place in Vancouver, British Columbia

 

Gabiel Drake def. Scott Rageheart via pinfall following the Mark of the Beast.

 

Nemesis def. Insane Luchador via pinfall following the Fall From Mount Olympus.

 

Akira Kaibatsu def. JJ Johnson via pinfall following the 450 Splash.

 

Spike Jenkins pins Akira Kaibatsu following a chairshot. Presumably this has something to do with the International Title.

 

TAG TITLE MATCH

Tom Flesher© and Charlie Matthews© def. The New Doomtopians via pinfall when Matthews pins the Doomstroyer after the Spike Piledriver. Matthews and Flesher retain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lockdown, broadcast 8/9/06 from the Pengrowth Saddledome, Calgary, Alberta

 

Birdman def. Martin Hunt via pinfall following the Bird Dropping.

 

Nemesis def. MANSON via pinfall following the Colossus Drop.

 

Gabriel Drake and Mike Van Siclen are destroyed by The ELK and THE.

 

Charlie Matthews def. Scott Rageheart via pinfall with a kneeling powerbomb.

 

Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix def. Grendel and Insane Luchador via pinfall following Laberinto's Sunny Revenge In England on IL.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Tom Flesher def. Mike Cross© via submission when Cross passed out in the King Cobra. Tom Flesher wins the Cruiserweight Title.

 

Spike Jenkins def. Akira Kaibatsu via pinfall following the Greetings From Cambodia (seriously? Greetings From Cambodia? Whatever). Spike Jenkins is the #2 Contender to the International Title.

 

TEN MINUTE HARDCORE CHALLENGE

Jay Hawke does not get pinned by Bruce Blank in under ten minutes in a hardcore environment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smarkdown, broadcast 8/14/06 from the Rexall Place in Edmonton, Alberta

 

JJ Johnson def. MANSON via pinfall following the Tiger Driver '91. As if MANSON can ever truly be defeated.

 

Nemesis def. Pierre Donette via pinfall following a side suplex.

 

Birdman def. Mike Cross via pinfall following the Bird Dropping.

 

WORLD TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH

Jimmy The Doom def. Jay Hawke after a flying front kick.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE - I QUIT MATCH

Bruce Blank© def. Akira Kaibatsu after Akira quits to a Crippler Crossface.

 

TAG TITLE MATCH

Landon Maddix & Michael Stephens def. Tom Flesher© & Charlie Matthews© when Stephens pins Matthews after a double-team Hangover/Frog Splash combo by Stephens and Maddix. Michael Stephens and Landon Maddix are the new Tag Team Champions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Storm, broadcast 8/19/06 from the MTS Centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba

 

Spike Jenkins def. Pierre Donette via pinfall following the Endwell.

 

Nemesis def. Mike Van Siclen via pinfall following the Colossus Drop.

 

Jimmy The Doom and Amy Stephens go to a no-contest after Crimson Skull attacks Jimmy.

 

MANSON def. Akira Kaibatsu via pinfall following an inverted brainbuster.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Landon Maddix def. Tom Flesher© via DQ following a lowblow and being suplexed over the top rope. Naturally, Tom retains the title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lockdown, broadcast 8/23/06 from the Credit Union Centre in Saskatoon, Sasquatch. Or something. Hell, if an American doesn't know how to spell somewhere in Canada, why should I?

 

Gabriel Drake def. MANSON via pinfall following the Mark of The Beast.

 

Akira Kaibatsu def. Scott Rageheart via pinfall following the Divine Wind.

 

Spike Jenkins def. Jimmy The Doom via pinfall following the Endwell.

 

TAG TEAM TURMOIL WITHOUT THE TURMOIL

No contest after Jay Hawke's partner Nemesis turns on him to align with Bruce Blank.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smarkdown, broadcast 28/3/06 from the Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec

 

Birdman def. Zyon via pinfall with the Bird Dropping.

 

INTERNATIONAL TITLE (LUMBERJACK MATCH)

Bruce Blank© def. Spike Jenkins vis pinfall following the Cruiserweight Killer. Bruce Blank retains the International Title.

 

WORLD TITLE

Michael Stephens© def. Jimmy The Doom via pinfall following a Stephens Shock Syndrome off the top rope. Michael Stephens retains the World Title.

 

 

 

 

 

Storm, broadcast 9/1/06 from the Colisee Pepsi in Quebec City. That's an original name for a city.

 

Gabriel Drake def. Akira Kaibatsu via submission with the Spite and Malice.

 

HARDCORE MATCH

'Iron' Mike Cross and Nemesis go to a no-contest when Nemesis leaves the match.

 

CRUISERWEIGHT RULES MATCH

Tom Flesher def. JJ Johnson via pinfall with a Fisherman's Suplex.

 

PURE RULES CHALLENGE

Jay Hawke def. Bruce Blank via pinfall with a Sunset Flip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lockdown, broadcast 9/6/06 from the Scotiabank Place in Ottowa.

 

Birdman def. Spike Jenkins via pinfall with the Bird Dropping.

 

Gabriel Drake vs Zyon becomes Gabriel Drake vs Landon Maddix at Maddix's request, but then is a no-contest when Drake jumps Landon before the match and tries to Pillmanise his leg.

 

TAG TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

Weapons of Mass Destruction (Bruce Blank & Nemesis) def. Blood & THUNDER (JJ Johnson & MANSON) via pinfall after Nemesis hits the Fall From Mount Olympus on MANSON. WoMD are now the #1 Contenders to the Tag Titles.

 

HARDCORE TITLE

Jimmy The Doom© def. Michael Cross via pinfall following a Doom Driver from the apron to the floor. However, the Crimson Skull kidnapped Lois the Unethical during the course of the match. The cad.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

You know your angle isn't going over well when "you run in and shit"

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I was going to be all "Toxx, you am dumb, it am be a curb stomp", but then I checked my dictionary, and it said 'kerb' is the crazy British way of spelling curb.

 

So: Toxx, you am dumb, it am be a curb stomp.

 

lollerz

[super_tigris 0]

Kerb your enthusiasm, mkay.

[Toxxic 0]

See, over here in Britain 'kerb' is how you spell the thing that's the side of the road - 'curb' is what you do to your enthusiasm.

 

Blououdy foureigners.

[JJ Johnson 0]

You know your angle isn't going over well when "you run in and shit"

 

Your angle has terrible hygiene.

[super_tigris 0]

I have to tell people to promo in response to one that I wrote for a show.

 

You'd assume they read it, but alas, it appears such things are not a luxary I can have.

[Bruce Blank 0]

I have to tell people to promo in response to one that I wrote for a show.

 

You'd assume they read it, but alas, it appears such things are not a luxary I can have.

You mean like Bruce responded last show to your previous promo? like that?

[super_tigris 0]

*is a hypocrite who didn't really read the last show*

 

Also, I was aiming more at Akira and Zyon, since they're involved in an angle with me.

[Toxxic 0]

I don't know if a luxary is some flash American thing, but over here in the Olde World we call it a 'luxury'.

 

Look, ask Akira. He'll tell you about the spelling and grammar police in the fed. I swear being here has probably helped his homework, if he ever does it.

[super_tigris 0]

Nope, I meant Luxary. And I'll continue to spell it Luxary.

 

Question it again and I'll Kerbstomp your face!

[Smartly Pretty 0]

Toxx, I'm on of those kid's who underachieves. I got 99th percentile in writing on standerized testing (I owe some thanks to this fed for that, I admit), but I don't ever do my work. Like a real life Stryke.

[JJ Johnson 0]

Toxx, I'm on of those kid's who underachieves.

 

Yep.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

typing is for gays.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

*smacks Akira*

[Bruce Blank 0]

*is a hypocrite who didn't really read the last show*

 

Also, I was aiming more at Akira and Zyon, since they're involved in an angle with me.

See then how do you know if Akira or Zyon promoed back or not? laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! And erm Zyon had a promo on Lockdown. . . didn't read that either?

 

all I can say is "tisk,tisk widdle warrior"

[King Cucaracha 0]

I've always spelt it curb, but then again I can't write English English anyway. That's what you get for watching U.S TV 90% of the time. Hell, I've got Frasier on in the background as I type. Which I guess should make me sound more intelligent, but as I say, it's in the background.

[super_tigris 0]

Actually, I read LockDown and saw Zyon's promo which I had to ask him to write

 

And really, he was on the ball with that one. I'm just joke-bitching, Bruce, I'm not really all that serious.

[Toxxic 0]

THE SWF IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, DAMN IT!

[super_tigris 0]

THE SWF IS SERIOUS BUSINESS, DAMN IT!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!

[Bruce Blank 0]

LOL I thought "Widdle Warrior" clearly showed that I was less than serious

[Bruce Blank 0]

Bruce Blank def. Zyon via pinfall following the Broken Dreams. Someone please tell me how a running tombstone piledriver actually works, cos I'm not seeing it.

I'll try to explain it then.

 

1) The opponent is placed over the shoulder, chest down, head forward (like a running power slam like Davey Boy Smith)

 

2) Run forward, basically like a running power slam.

 

3) Again like a running power slam the guy executing the move jumps forward a bit, both feet leave the ground.

 

4) The opponent is shifted forward a bit, sliding off the shoulder and instead is held head down between the legs Tombstone style

 

5) Executor lands on his knees, victim hits the mat Tombstone style.

 

6) Pulls out a bottle of painkillers for the victim

 

There you go in 6 easy steps - probably a move that's liable to really hurt the guy taking the move in real life and really much, much LESS complex that most of the moves used by the under 230 crowd but with very high impact.

[Toxxic 0]

My problem with that? The momentum of the move would mean the victim would, instead of being driven straight down, be far more likely to take a devastating BACK BUMP~!

[Bruce Blank 0]

Nah he'd drop on his head FIRST and then fall on his back perfect for a pin

[Smartly Pretty 0]

While we're talking about crazy ass moves, Akira didn't beat Spike with a powerbomb. Crucifix bomb (Not Splash Mountain Bomb...crazy thingy Austin Aries does)

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Mikey, you forgot the part in Jimmy vs Hawke where Heff bungled the run-in. Heff is such a bungler. He bungles everything. Bungle.

 

lolz