Stormments

[chirs3 0]

All matches present, and a number of veeeeery interesting developments regarding Genesis. Spike vs. Akira is signed, the Cruiser title will be defended, and Jay Hawke picks the stip! And Nemesis... is wierd.

 

Strong efforts all around. Excellent work, peoples.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I can't believe my 300 word masterpiece didn't win. Terrible. It's not like Mak wrote a really really good match of anything. DESPICABLE!

[Guest El XL]

And Nemesis... is wierd.

 

Strong efforts all around. Excellent work, peoples.

YEAH!!! then the write up came off just as it should. Very enjoyable show all round, I guess the Spike/Stryker match was a joke booking? kinda like all my bookings except I accidentally take them seriously.

[Above Average 0]

Since I'm one of those guys Tom talked about who used to give match critiques... I think I'll begin to comment again. I'll just briefly cover some stuff and if you want something more specific comment on the show and I'll do it.

 

The general idea behind Stephens vs. Flesher seemed pretty basic to me. Flesher wants to avenge some losses and is trying to cement his status as King of the Mountain, while Stephen's wants to prove that he's the top dog against the stiffest competition available. I like that the cruiser belt was added because I really didn't expect it. It'd be nice if there was another twist to an angle that's been pretty straight forward, but I kinda feel like you guys wanted it that way. Tom's match kinda validates that with the Perfect-plex because it was all about showing that Flesher can put anyone in a pinning predicament and all it takes is three seconds. I think it was heavy handed and terribly executed... okay thats a lie, but really, even though Tom's matwork sucks dick (unlike mine~!) it did a nice job of establishing the action and it felt like it was a fast paced match. And like I said, the ending was abrupt for a reason.

 

Nemesis deciding that he didn't want to win the match was interesting. I wonder how you'll follow up on that, especially considering the fact that he went against his master's wishes for the first time (in the fed at least). Match wise you've got this quirky humor that stands out among a lot of the serious writers and it good to see something new. I'd work a little on your grammar, but mine isn't the greatest either. What I think you should really work on is making your spots a little more plausable. You're inventive, but it's hard to picture a few things happening in this match, the French-Canadian announce table spot in particular cause you didn't really set it up. In general, it's harder to read if you just tell us what happened. It seems like Cross just got tossed from center ring into the table, while I know thats not what happened. You didn't really describe how he was thrown or indicate why this would be such a big move. I think your matches just lack that extra description that helps with flow. Maybe its the word limits and you need to better budget words. Still, solid match though.

 

Spike vs. Akira should be interesting. I honestly have no idea where this is going beyond the cruiser belt. I know there's backstory but it doesn't seem to be leading to any particular type of blow-off match. Straight singles again could be interesting.

[Toxxic 0]

Yeah, grammar like the fact that when talking about Michael Stephens, something that belongs to him is "Stephens'", not "Stephen's"

 

I may make comments of some sort, but I'm going back to see the parents and won't be back til Tuesday.

[Above Average 0]

I could do a long reply with proper grammar, but that's too involved.

 

I think the words Fuck and You should cover it. Properly capitalized of course.

[Toxxic 0]

Yeah, 'capitalized'. You crazy Yanks and your 'z's where 's's should be.

 

I bet you 'realize' things as well, eh?

 

*calls on Zed for backup on correct spellings*

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Mak > Toxx on the basis of being able to carry me.

[the.weej 0]

Sorry, but I realize and capitalize as well.

 

I mean, let's be honest. Spelling it "civilisation" just looks stupid.

 

-Z

[Toxxic 0]

Shut up, Sed.

[Guest El XL]

Nemesis deciding that he didn't want to win the match was interesting. I wonder how you'll follow up on that, especially considering the fact that he went against his master's wishes for the first time (in the fed at least). Match wise you've got this quirky humor that stands out among a lot of the serious writers and it good to see something new. I'd work a little on your grammar, but mine isn't the greatest either. What I think you should really work on is making your spots a little more plausable. You're inventive, but it's hard to picture a few things happening in this match, the French-Canadian announce table spot in particular cause you didn't really set it up. In general, it's harder to read if you just tell us what happened. It seems like Cross just got tossed from center ring into the table, while I know thats not what happened. You didn't really describe how he was thrown or indicate why this would be such a big move. I think your matches just lack that extra description that helps with flow. Maybe its the word limits and you need to better budget words. Still, solid match though.

Well I never applied myself in school because I could care less, maybe now I'll find a motivation to work on my grammar. I appriciate the feedback, it's always good to know what bolts to tigthen and what screws to lose. One thing that may have detracted from the table spot is the fact that the "Long Hard Drop" as well as describing in very basic terms what happening is also the name of the move on my moveset list, it is the Dominator. In retrospect that's not the cleverest of names so that may just be changed to something less confusing. And with this added insight I may actually now be ready to face an opponent that's going to show

 

Side note: the ending of the match was really just the beginning of something bigger, as a wise man once said on Oprah "Every finish line is also the start of the next race."

[super_tigris 0]

And I swear, this time it'll actually go somewhere (and this happened more or less because 1.) I had to make an early trip to Pittsburgh Friday morning and 2.) because I can't make up my mind)