"An insane amount of ranch please."

[Guest Felonies!]

Where is Andy O from? I was hoping maybe we could call the new Agent-Alf-Andy troika "The Hoosier Millionaires."

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Do you guys have a similar show in Illinois?

 

PS. You have a boner for the word "troika"

[Gert T 0]

I dip mine in hot sauce

 

You fail at trying to be black.

 

 

What if he stole the pizza too?

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

My pet peeve is Wendy's:

 

Me: "Yes, I'd like the chicken strips."

 

:::they don't give you a fucking second to say which sauce YOU want:::

 

Homeless Employee: "Okay, barbeque sauce."

 

Me: "Uh, no. Deli Honey Mustard."

 

Then I pull up, and instead of the Deli Honey Mustard (comes w/ strips, big pack) they try to sneak in those regular sized shitty Wendy's honey mustards.

 

Apparently, my local Wendy's hates me. For about a week in late 2004, I was hookin' up with this girl, who a week later decided she couldn't stand me, and I decided I couldn't stand her. Anyways, one time on the way home from a concert that week, we drove to Wendy's, really starved. So when we pull up, the "studly Mexican manager" at the window is all flirty and gives me the fucking EVIL EYE OF ALL EVIL EYES.

 

He totally recognizes my voice on the intercom. And he fucks with my order all the time, then acts like I'm the asshole when I request in to be fixed.

 

Last month I quit fast food, altogether. Seriously, no normal person can eat that shit. Just stop. I ate it religiously, and finalyl realized how shitty it is. So I pulled up to Wendy's one last time at like 1:50 AM, right before the dick manager always closes his shift. I ordered like $42 in food, a bunch of value meals, and even pretended to be "trying to listen to my friends in the car" order to not tip him off. Anyways, I pulled up to the window and exclaimed, like Eric Cartman, "Oh nooooo...I must have left my wallet at home!" It was now like 2 AM, so I told him I'd see him around, and thanks for his efforts, anyway.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Well that was a pretty dick manuever there, man. Regardless of how they treated you, you've got to see their side too. They're probably trying to go as fast as they can (they have timers see, which is why sometimes they might ask a car to go pull off to a parking lot while the "fries cook" and they'll "bring it right out".. ) and don't hear every little thing you ask for.

 

And those chicken strips are a total fucking ripoff. But yeah, fuck fast food.

 

Unless Subway counts. God I love that place.

[Guest Felonies!]

Do you guys have a similar show in Illinois?

 

PS. You have a boner for the word "troika"

Yeah, WGN had an Illinois Lottery show, and still might, but when I was growing up, we had Hoosier Millionaire over on channel 50, which was (is?) actually licensed to Gary, so I'd find myself wondering why I was watching an Indiana show.

 

PS. I got sick of "trio" and "triumvirate."

[Henry Spencer 0]

Last month I quit fast food, altogether. Seriously, no normal person can eat that shit. Just stop. I ate it religiously, and finalyl realized how shitty it is. So I pulled up to Wendy's one last time at like 1:50 AM, right before the dick manager always closes his shift. I ordered like $42 in food, a bunch of value meals, and even pretended to be "trying to listen to my friends in the car" order to not tip him off. Anyways, I pulled up to the window and exclaimed, like Eric Cartman, "Oh nooooo...I must have left my wallet at home!" It was now like 2 AM, so I told him I'd see him around, and thanks for his efforts, anyway.

 

I thought you were banned?

[Maztinho 0]

Brazil it's common to put ketchup and mustard and mayonaise on your pizza's. They typically don't put tomato sauce on their pizza's unless a) you are in Pizza Hut, which is the same, or b) you are in a Southerners home where they have more of an Italian influence and make pizza with sauce.

 

They also frown upon eating pizza with your hands.

 

I had a Brazilian lady come up and start chastizing me for eating it that way, I just pretended that I didn't know Portugese and ignored her.

 

The occasional dipping of Ranch is good depending on what toppings you have on it. Like it goes well with a Hawaiian.

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

To be perfectly fair, Czech, and you know I'm a well-travelled midwesterner, there is some really dynamite pizza in Indiana. Not quite up to the standards of our tenderloin sandwiches, but good deep-dish does exist in the hoosier state. On the Eastern corner, even. Even then, the fat death of Chicago pizza wins out.

Well then, I did not expect that. If I ever end up in Indianapolis, I will sample some pizza.

 

Now what do you call a person from Indianapolis? An Indianapolitan? This is slightly clunky, to say the least, but a resident of Minneapolis is a Minneapolitan, like a diminutive three-flavored ice cream. On that note, Vancouvrian or Vancouverite? I've seen both, but the first one sounds cool. Halifax = Haligonian, I know that one. Detroit and Montreal both favor the -er suffix.

 

 

 

Ummmmm.... Call us Hoosiers....... I guess if you HAVE to label us as something..

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

I still love you Czech. Honest question, have you have had pizza in the South Bend area? I get the best pizza I've ever had a mile down the road from me.

Why on earth would South Bend, which is for all intents and purposes just a college town, going to be renowned for its pizza ahead of Chicago and New York? Even New Haven has their lame-ass apizza thing.

 

To be perfectly fair, Czech, and you know I'm a well-travelled midwesterner, there is some really dynamite pizza in Indiana. Not quite up to the standards of our tenderloin sandwiches, but good deep-dish does exist in the hoosier state. On the Eastern corner, even. Even then, the fat death of Chicago pizza wins out.

Well then, I did not expect that. If I ever end up in Indianapolis, I will sample some pizza.

 

Now what do you call a person from Indianapolis?

 

Usually something like Greg or Mandy.

 

I'm not talking about Indianapolis though, fuck that place. The real hoosier atmosphere is best sampled in the other "cities" here. Fort Wayne is about as north indiana as it gets. No drawls, more crime, tenderloins. Less of the Chicago flavor like Hammond and Gary have, or LaPorte and Michigan City, to an extent.

 

Anything south of Indy might as well be another state. We'll call it #20 HOME DEPOT

 

 

Why do you hate Indianapolis?

 

Nobody I know has a real heavy drawl.

[Darthtiki 0]

here we go again

 

Vienna Beef kosher hot dog with:

Mustard, diced onions, sweet relish, sliced tomato, pickle spear, sport peppers, and celery salt. Should be steamed and served on a poppyseed bun. Ketchup punishable by death.

 

Ketchup on hot dogs over the age of 8 is a capital offense in the world of hot dogs. Though I did find a great combo, yellow mustard on a chili dog with diced onions...Thank you Pink's in LA. Definitely Chicago Dogs are great too

[Guest Legalise Drugs and Murder]

I don't hate Indianapolis, it's like going to Louisiana and only visiting New Orleans, y'know? Going to all the random awful places is necessary to accept the full charm of the state.

 

South of Indy is where the drawls start.

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

I don't hate Indianapolis, it's like going to Louisiana and only visiting New Orleans, y'know? Going to all the random awful places is necessary to accept the full charm of the state.

 

South of Indy is where the drawls start.

 

 

Ya.

 

I mostly stay around Indy though. Used to go up to Fort Wayne alot, but now it's mainly just here.

[Guest Legalise Drugs and Murder]

Fort Waste is awesome. It's like Muncie, but bigger, with style.

[Jaxxson Mayhem 0]

Fort Waste is awesome. It's like Muncie, but bigger, with style.

 

 

haha

 

 

It used to be a long ass drive to go up there to see family.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Arby's also subscribes to this theory:

 

My last trip, I asked for "A ridiculous amount of Arby's sauce". Granted.

My previous trip, I asked her to "Go nuts with the Arby's sauce". Granted.

Today, "A lot, please". Three packets is not a lot.

[Red Baron 0]

I do this with Vinegar.

 

McDonalds and Burger King are very generous.

 

Wendy's is different.

[Hawk 34 0]

here we go again

 

Vienna Beef kosher hot dog with:

Mustard, diced onions, sweet relish, sliced tomato, pickle spear, sport peppers, and celery salt. Should be steamed and served on a poppyseed bun. Ketchup punishable by death.

 

Ketchup on hot dogs over the age of 8 is a capital offense in the world of hot dogs. Though I did find a great combo, yellow mustard on a chili dog with diced onions...Thank you Pink's in LA. Definitely Chicago Dogs are great too

 

That's a Skyline Coney. Although, it is usually topped with shredded cheddar.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

At work, when we have hamburgers Ive been making "Hail Ceasar Burgers" with Ceasar dressing, parmesan cheese, romaine lettuce on an overly toasted bun (for the croutons in a ceasar salad), and mustard. The only thing Ive not been willing to try is a sliced hard boiled egg..

 

I swear to god..no one better fucking steal my idea before I can start a burger joint to use it..and it would be really great as a chicken sandwich too..

 

Oh, and Trashers boarwalk fries..no ketchup..just salt and vinegar.

[Matt Young 0]

Sounds delicious, Matthew.

[Hawk 34 0]

Hate to break it to you, but there's a local diner that serves that already Marvin. It's a common burger.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I actually make that, put instead of Cesar dressing I use Thousand Island, some bellpeppers and at times top it of with a fried egg.

[iggymcfly 0]

Back on the ketchup debate, I disagree completely. As the lowest form of sausage, a hot dog is the only kind of sausage it is acceptable to put ketchup on. Putting ketchup on a bratwurst reflects really really badly on you however.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I'm not opposed to ketchup. If I'm just throwing a couple hot dogs in the microwave after getting off work, I'm not going to fuck around with chopping up onions or making some chili sauce.

[EricMM 0]

Ew.

 

Why would you want to put something that's pratically sweet on hotdogs?

 

If hotdogs, spicy mustard and/or relish.

[Red Baron 0]

Mustard is rancid, and should be banned from the planet. The smell of mustard makes me want to gag.

[Matt Young 0]

Ew.

 

Why would you want to put something that's pratically sweet on hotdogs?

 

If hotdogs, spicy mustard and/or relish.

 

Relish is sweet.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Hate to break it to you, but there's a local diner that serves that already Marvin. It's a common burger.

 

Thanks for ruining my plans!

 

1000 Island dressing = the stuff on a big mac so thats nothing special.

 

I was thinking of french on a burger..hmm.

[Guest Eagle Man]

Back on the ketchup debate, I disagree completely. As the lowest form of sausage, a hot dog is the only kind of sausage it is acceptable to put ketchup on. Putting ketchup on a bratwurst reflects really really badly on you however.

Nope, wrong again, faggymcdork. Ketchup ruins a hot dog, even though it may be the "lowest form of sausage," and on that note, is there some sausage hierarchy that nobody has made me aware of? Did Maslow put it together on his lunch break? Anyway, you get my point: ketchup is forbidden. You'll never convince me otherwise.

 

I'm not a big bratwurst guy. I can have one every now and then, but even then, I'm not crazy about them. I just stick to my hot dogs and Maxwell St. Polishes.

[Guest Vitamin X]

To be honest, ever since Czech made me aware of his anti-ketchup-on-hot-dog stance, I've gone with it and every single one of my hot dogs has tasted better. To be fair, it doesn't take me more than 30 seconds (the amount of time I put a hot dog with bun in the microwave) to chop one slice of an onion (a thin slice, remember it's small and doesnt require a whole lot) and then just put some mustard on that bitch and roll with it. I think that's the best way to eat them now. Red onion only, too.