Tool

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Maybe I just don't "get it." Maybe it's because I'm, I guess, one of the few people that refuses to drink or get high before or during any concert I'm attending. Or maybe it's because I just cannot stand that fucking band. For any (or all) of these reasons, I have been to the worst concert of my life that involved a "big-time" band as opposed to some small local act: Tool is boring as sin live.

 

I know a lot of you still love them, and it's pretty much a guarantee that a good portion of you at least LIKE Tool. I don't. I like two songs - "Aenima" and "Lateralus" - and am sick to fucking death of them. At work, all we have is a radio. We keep it on WBCN. They play Tool once an hour. It gets annoying, especially when the only songs they play on the radio nowadays are "Vicariously" and "The Pot," two songs that even hardcore Tool fans I know fucking hate.

 

I've known I was going since tickets for this tour went on sale, and I've dreaded it since day one. My girlfriend loves the band, and was screwed out of seeing them live three times since becoming a fan (twice because tickets were sold out before she could buy them, and once because her brother bought tickets for himself and his friend with the money she gave him for her ticket), so I understand her wanting to go. But I'm very vocal, at all times, about my dislike of them. Be it due to Maynard's pretentious lyrics (they're not nearly as deep as Tool fans make them out to be), Adam's average-at-best bass work, Justin's guitar abilities that make TOM DeLONGE seem like Joe Satriani, or Danny Carey's overblown image as a master drummer when there are plenty of drummers better than he that never get their deserved attention (any number of death metal drummers come to mind, as well as classic drummers - John Bonham, Keith Moon - that always get overlooked by today's rock audience). I just don't understand their appeal.

 

Of course, that's a lie. I do understand their appeal. A good portion of their fanbase are recreational drug users, many of which have little-to-no musical abilities themselves, and only listen to the music while under the influence of mind-altering (I will never use the term "mind-expanding," since that would in turn perpetuate the belief that something the body views as a poison - which most narcotics are - has positive side effects outside of one's personal enjoyment). But, hey, I digress.

 

So I've been dreading the day. My girlfriend, along with most of my friends, love Tool. Few, if any, of them understand the emotion put into thrash, punk, hardcore, or any of the music I primarily listen to. Steph, however, refused to go unless I was going, saying that she'd be so upset that I wasn't there to share her moment of musical triumph (it's rather obvious I'm paraphrasing rather than quoting) to enjoy it thoroughly...which I think is a complete crock of shit, since I know I could go to a Zombie Apocalypse show and enjoy it entirely without her there (perhaps even moreso, since I know she'd be wanting to hold me back from getting into the pits along with the few other ZA fans)...and thus I'm suckered in.

 

So from Monday, 9/25, until this past Friday, 9/29 (the date of the show), I was fucking miserable. I could only describe it as the sort of frustration that one has when going to your crazy uncle's house that you can't stand when you're 11 or 12: you'll just be glad when it's over, and you're miserable until it is. At least at work I could ignore Tool entirely, drive with my discman and CDs in tow to listen to (my mp3 player is fucked up, which pisses me off since I had about 900 songs on it) from delivery to delivery, and forget I even wasted money on a concert I was sure to hate. But then once I got to her house after work, she'd say something along the lines of "only a few more days until Tool!" and then wonder why I'd be upset.

 

Friday's day of work ends with me getting out early since the company's owner was gone for the day and my boss usually lets me out early (not ridiculously early, but 30-45 minutes earlier than my shift ends) if the day is slow. I just want to get this day over with, so I shower and change and drive to Pizza Hut (which has the remarkable coincidence of having all but three of its employees - including the store manager and shift manager - in my circle of friends) to hang out for a little. I'm sure to grab MOD's USA for MOD and Slayer's Christ Illusion, under the impression that I'm driving to the show. Get to my girlfriend's when she gets out of work, chill for 5 minutes there, and then load up her mother's car with booze and food and a small grill as her brother and his girlfriend are all set to depart as well.

 

We get to the Tweeter Center in Mansfield, MA around 7:15 or so, and pop open a few drinks (save for me, who doesn't drink at shows). Grill up some hot dogs and burgers, and even a steak, and then decide it's time to head in around 8. We chose lawn, so we find a big open spot on the lawn that lets us focus on the middle of the stage (in truth, that was an amazing spot on the lawn to be at), and Tool starts about 10 minutes after we all settle into our spot.

 

The gig starts off with "Stinkfist," and I notice something peculiar: the only person moving at all on stage - outside of their hands and arms - is Danny Carey. For the whole song. There were screens set up to display your typical Tool art (I forget the artist's name, but the guy who does all of their art had his work constantly going in animated form, often with incredibly cheap - cheaper than the Poser program - CGI), which I felt would be better spent showing close-up's of each band member here and there (to give those in the cheap seats a feeling as though they were closer to the stage), but alas it was not to be.

 

So, an hour later, and after playing two songs I'm familiar with ("Stinkfist" and that radio piece of shit "Vicariously"), they're still breaking off into 10-minute jam sessions. Now, having a long jam session is alright when your band is made up of amazing musicians who know the in's and out's of chord progressions and various tricks for their instruments...but it's fucking terrible when the "jam session" sounds exactly the same as the "slow, moody" intro to ALL OF YOUR FUCKING SONGS. JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST, GUYS: DO SOMETHING REMOTELY FUCKING DIFFERENT FOR ONCE. Ahem...sorry.

 

And, again, I notice something: nobody - not Maynard, not Adam, not Justin - that can move while performing their task musically has done so. Maynard has kicked up his legs a few times and played a few small pieces of shit on the keyboard, ditto Justin, but the majority of the time was spent with the band staring straight ahead and playing as if they were in a practice session. You know when you go to your little cousin's/brother's/etc. high school "talent show" and there's a lot of bands that just play annoyingly awful music and stare straight ahead, almost as if they have no urge to entertain you in the least but just want to show off that they know how to do SOMETHING with what they have? That's what the entire concert was, only with a cheap laser light show that could have been staged better in a Planetarium.

 

And that's where I'll stop my rant/review. Tool was, bar none, the most boring live show I've ever seen. My friends kept hitting me on the shoulder, my girlfriend as well, to ask me if I was enjoying myself, only for me to shake my head and utter something usually along the lines of "I wish I was home listening to SOD right now."

 

After the show, the parking lot was fucking horrible. Tool ended their 2-hour barrage of mediocrity at 11 PM, and we didn't leave the parking lot until sometime after 1:15 AM. The only way I survived was by listening to lame songs on the radio, and hardcore dancing to them to entertain both myself and my friends. The highlight of the entire night for me - besides making Steph promise me she'll have to sit through a Zombie Apocalypse show because I sat through this - was doing the "lawnmower pull" (if you've been in a moshpit, you know what I mean) while doing a semi-skank into my friend Anthony as he was downing a bottle of Smirnoff of Blue Label, causing him to start laughing and spit vodka all over himself.

 

Got home. Went to sleep. Woke up. Listened to Slayer and MOD. Was happy. Moral of the story: I need to stop letting my girlfriend drag me to shows she wants to go to when I don't care at all for, or even fucking hate, the band(s) she wants to see.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

When I saw Tool about four years ago, at the peak of my interest in them (like you, it's waned substantively, to the point that I don't think I've listened to anything of theirs in at least two years), I remember having a great time. I saw them twice, actually. They were some of the first concerts where I really saw a band playing immersive music. I think Agent put it well when, a few months back, he called them entry-level music for much, much better weird stuff down the road.

 

I think I'd be bored out of my skull seeing them now, especially out on the lawn. For something like a Tool show--something that I think even the band would acknowledge is really overblown--you've got to be in the midst of it, unable to focus on anything beyond the music and the mass of bodies. The moment you catch sight of a hot dog vendor or something like that, it goes from being okay to retarded.

[snuffbox 0]

No Isis?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Yeah, isn't Isis opening for them on this tour? I like them lots.

[Red Baron 0]

From what I've heard they played nothing from Opiate or Undertow.

[snuffbox 0]

It looks like this was the 'Tweeter Center' setlist(and I doubt they change it up much)...

 

Stinkfist

The Pot

Forty Six & 2

Jambi

Schism

Lost Keys

Rosetta Stoned

Wings For Marie

10,000 Days

Lateralus

Vicarious

Ænema

 

Pretty weak. Sounds like Isis has played 4 or 5 songs opening each show that Maynard Keenan has felt like playing.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Sounds like Isis has played 4 or 5 songs opening each show that Maynard Keenan has felt like playing.

I don't understand this statement.

 

Also, I still can't believe they fucking named a song "Rosetta Stoned."

[snuffbox 0]

Keenan has called in sick for several shows on the tour. Isis then scrambles to play at a bar in town. On the shows where Tool does play, Isis has time for 4 or 5 songs.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

That sucks for them, but given that Isis songs tend to run about as long as Tool songs, I doubt they'd have much time to fit a lot of material into an opening slot.

[snuffbox 0]

I think Isis played the Ottobar in Baltimore a few days ago. That'd have been cool.

[Red Baron 0]

It looks like this was the 'Tweeter Center' setlist(and I doubt they change it up much)...

 

Stinkfist

The Pot

Forty Six & 2

Jambi

Schism

Lost Keys

Rosetta Stoned

Wings For Marie

10,000 Days

Lateralus

Vicarious

Ænema

 

Pretty weak. Sounds like Isis has played 4 or 5 songs opening each show that Maynard Keenan has felt like playing.

 

 

What a shitty fucking list.

 

I should have had the chance to go see them in 2001

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Isis is pretty awesome. I couldn't wrap my head around them on first spin, seemed kind of noodly for whatever reason, but when they clicked, boy howdy. "Instru-metal" as a quasi-subgenre owes its existence to Isis and Neurosis.

 

Anymore, I can't attach anything to Tool that I'd rate higher than "pretty good."

[Black Lushus 0]

I'm one of the few people that prefers A Perfect Circle over Tool...

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

I really really liked them when Aenima came out, and I had that on almost constant spin when sat in the back of my family's hire car driving around Florida as a 12-year old, which I enjoyed immensely, so I could never do a complete U-turn on them, but what I heard from the newest release could easily pass for someone doing an impression of Tool, and I thought it was actually new copyist act at first. I wouldn't pay to see them now, I don't think.

[2GOLD 0]

I'm one of the few people that prefers A Perfect Circle over Tool...

 

I'm right there with you, although E-motive was the worst fucking thing I have heard in my life and I've heard The Ataris live. I know what the purpose of it was but it was still horrible.

[snuffbox 0]

Go back to your Dwight Yoakem records.

[Gary Floyd 0]

I used to like Tool-when I was in highschool. I've pretty much grown out of them now.

[Black Lushus 0]

I'm one of the few people that prefers A Perfect Circle over Tool...

 

I'm right there with you, although E-motive was the worst fucking thing I have heard in my life and I've heard The Ataris live. I know what the purpose of it was but it was still horrible.

 

I opted to skip E-motive...Mer De Noms and 13th Step are as far as I got...and 13th Step wasn't all that great...I could listen to Mer De Noms over and over again.

[2GOLD 0]

Go back to your Dwight Yoakem records.

 

Closet Yoakem fan.

Your room is probably covered with his posters.

 

 

I actually like 13th Step a little better but not by much. I dled E-Motive, took Passive and then deleted the rest of it.

[gWIL 0]

I'm one of the few people that prefers A Perfect Circle over Tool...

 

Me too.

[Carnival 0]

Counting Bodies Like Sheep was good. It sounded more like a Tool song though...guess that's why i liked it.

[snuffbox 0]

Does anybody disagree that Isis is better than both Tool & APC (barring maybe a couple songs from Mer De Noms)?

[The Man in Blak 0]

Like PLAGIARISM!, Aenima represented the peak of my appreciation for Tool, which dropped dramatically after Lateralus came out. I'd consider seeing them in concert, but not with that gawd-awful set list that was posted earlier.

[tominator89 0]

Tool is playing in my neck of the woods tonight. I know a few people who love them and had to go. I'd rather the Eagles/Packers game.

 

Corey's concert experience reminded me of seeing NIN last year. Trent performed on stage as though the arena was completely empty. It was amazing to see him have zero crowd interaction. The only thing he said was "thank you" right before he walked off stage.

 

Oh well, Tool is overrated anyway.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

That's just fucking wrong to me. If I pay my hard-earned money to see you perform your songs live, then you fucking do more than stand there and play. Even if every hardcore band ever does the same shit live (with the guitarists swinging their guitars around during the breakdown, the frontman screaming ferociously and running around on stage, and the bassist acting like he's playing the basslines to some rap song with the way he bobs his head and whole upper body), at least they give me something visually to accompany the music besides a cheap laser light show. That said, I wish Zombie Apocalypse and Ringworm would tour together, because I'd fucking love to see a show with two of my favorite hardcore bands together on one bill.

 

Re: APC vs. Tool

When I first heard APC, I thought it was just some Tool knock-off. Having not even heard that Maynard was a part of the band, or even hearing his vocals (I'm talking the first 30 seconds or so of "Judas" or "Judith" or whatever it's called, before Maynard's vocals come in on the first verse), I immediately disliked the band. That said, I prefer APC over Tool because at least the APC songs are more than just terrible beginner guitar playing masked by horrible production to sound "ambient" and "trippy." There's actually musical structure to it.

[snuffbox 0]

Good news...Isis & Jesu will tour these United States next year.

[Sideburnious 0]

I'm one of the few people that prefers A Perfect Circle over Tool...

 

I'm right there with you, although E-motive was the worst fucking thing I have heard in my life and I've heard The Ataris live. I know what the purpose of it was but it was still horrible.

 

I opted to skip E-motive...Mer De Noms and 13th Step are as far as I got...and 13th Step wasn't all that great...I could listen to Mer De Noms over and over again.

 

I'd agree, I prefer APC over tool. E-motive was good once you got into it, but the first listen leaves you wondering what happend between its release and 13th step. I still think 13th step is probably their best album (but I think it's more flawed than Mer de Noms).

 

Mastadon are supporting Tool for their second leg of playing Europe so i'll see them again. And yeah, that setlist posted earlier is something similar to what it was like when I saw them in the summer.

[Red Baron 0]

That'll be a good show just to see Mastodon by itself.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Their performances will kill Tool's, and get shit on by the crowd simultaenously.

[snuffbox 0]

Sad/true.

 

Why didnt you want to see Isis, Corey Lazarous?