Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 It is a future fascist utopic America, headed by a Maximum Proconsul and his Cabinet, made up of the heads of different Ministries. Reading this thread is almost useless, since so many posts were lost in the transition. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Angle-plex and anyone else who may have questions: Check out our convention tomorrow evening. It should properly explain the Abbey Party's goals. Don't bother going through this thread, because, as Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge pointed, much of the key information has been deleted thanks to the board switch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Um, I realized KotR is tomorrow night, and Raw is Monday night, so Tuesday is the day of the Convention now. It will allow us to make some really great speeches, and not get in the way of our wrestling obsessions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Incandenza Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Um, I realized KotR is tomorrow night, and Raw is Monday night, so Tuesday is the day of the Convention now. It will allow us to make some really great speeches, and not get in the way of our wrestling obsessions. So Tuesday, then? Are you sure? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Yes, positive now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kinetic Report post Posted June 23, 2002 To anyone that I didn't PM, which is most of you, a username has been created--AP Newswire--for the posting of news-style stuff in this thread. For more information, PM me. I'm here most of the time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Ironically, AP Newswire will one day have more posts than some of our cabinet members. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Dear Citizens of the State of America and the colony of Europe. Bow before me bitches for I am the king Of Texas. If the Procunsel says jump, then you say "How High?" All electronica and punk artists have been eliminated from Europe. Several attempted revolts by myself and La Revolucion have failed because the Procunsel keeps giving me more land. Dude, if you give me Peru I will never attempt a revolt again. Now citizens, be strong childeren of the beast and shout at the devil! That is all!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest AP Newswire Report post Posted June 23, 2002 LIMA -- In a ceremony reminiscent of some Incan rituals, Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge officially made the land of Peru officially under the purview of Chancellor to the Proconsul Goodhelmet. This move was predicted by many Washington analysts, as every time a rumored insurrection was to take place, news of it subsided just as quickly as it appeared when the Chancellor was given more land to rule directly. "I hope the Chancellor appreciates this token of the State's gratitude for his longtime service," said the Maximum Proconsul at the ceremony. "He now has a much-needed Pacific port area for his ever-growing personal empire." Some inside sources detected a bit of relief in all of the Maximum Proconsul's words, and noticed the new peace that had settled over the face of the Chancellor, after he has had shifty eyes and cryptic messages for all who have spoken to him the last few days. The Chancellor's lands now include Texas, Europe, and Peru. When asked if the motion to give Peru to the Chancellor was a way of covering his bases to prevent a rebellion, the Maximum Proconsul said "The Chancellor has expressed interest in being given this newly conquered new land of ours. It is also close to the front lines of our South American invasion, and to have a direct State presence strengthens our position and makes the lines of communication and supply to the fighting in Brazil, Paraguay, and Argentina shorter and more efficient." Chancellor Goodhelmet was also asked about the impending revolts, which extremists pinned on him. "What revolts? I don't think those will be so much as rumored to begin again. The extremists are currently being detained in a northern Virginia jail, awaiting the State's complete charges against them. Anyone who would dare put me with such people is also held in jail with them." The Maximum Proconsul was worried about a potential rebellion in this sensitive time of war in South America and the impending Party Convention on Tuesday. Things are safe again in the State, with the Convention, to be held at FedEx Field in Washington, where an expected 80,000 will turn out to cheer and root on the State and State officials will make speeches, statements, and tell stories. After the speeches for the transition ceremony, the Maximum Proconsul handed the Chancellor a massive placard that was meant to be the deed to Peru. He then shook hands with the Chancellor and took off for Melbourne with his Praetorian Guard and their Supreme General, Flyboy212EAW, to attend a Sophie Ellis-Bextor concert. He will be back home in time for the convention. (Kotzenjunge wrote this story) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest goodhelmet Report post Posted June 23, 2002 that is absolutely genius. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Greetings from Melbourne! Sophie is incredible, she asked to meet me before the concert. She was ecstatic that the man who controls billions and three continents took time from a busy schedule to come see her. I was starstruck myself, and took her on a personal tour of Executor. I also got some autographs for people back home and the First Lady, who couldn't tear herself from leaving the State since she had tickets for Mamma Mia! I tried to tell her that it wasn't such a big deal, there'd be other performances, but she insisted on sticking around New York to see it. I'll tell everyone how the concert goes, and worry not, I've got a satellite hookup on Executor, so I can see King of the Ring even while I'm here, even if it'll be 10 on Monday morning. I love that it's winter down here. I'm really not a big fan of hot weather. I will update later, have a nice Sunday and enjoy King of the Ring! Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted June 23, 2002 In other news, Big Poppa Popick, Lord of Foreign Policy, has announced a tour of Canada, Mexico, and the South American continent to begin next week. He hopes that by meeting with the rulers of those areas, he can quell their fears about future State of America expansion and bring them together in bountiful partnerships and arms limitation treaties. At the end of his tour, Popick will have dinner with Goodhelmet at his newly created Palace in Peru, the latest of the State's expansionary efforts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Um, Lord BPP, we OWN all of North America, Europe, and western South America. Conflict remains on the Brazil/Paraguay/Argentina front. So, in short, they don't have leaders. Their fears of expansion were right. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Another idea: Whoever writes a story under AP Newswire should include their name, in parentheses, at the end. I have edited the first AP Newswire post to reflect this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Anglesault Report post Posted June 23, 2002 I'd like to take my position as Commander of Commerce! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Welcome, Commander Anglesault! Since you're a fanatical Angle mark, I'm not going to ask that you change your sub-name. We will need some kind of statement on what new reforms and such you will be instituting. How will we conduct trade with the Far East? How can we economically assuage the fears of Australia, despite us planning to turn the place into glass when we finish with South America? These are all questions that only YOU, our Commander of Commerce, can answer! Hope you enjoy being part of the STATE OF AMERICA!!!(jets fly over and eagles crow while spreading their wings) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted June 23, 2002 I would like to introduce myself, The Superstar, as the Master of the Treasury! In my next post, I will list what I hope to achieve as the Master of the Treasury. I will not let the State down! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Goals for the Master of the Treasury, The Superstar: *Propose using 10% of the total State funds to help make the owned part of South America a secure, safe area. This will include, but not be limited to, building a strong militia, supplying said militia with the necessary weapons, clothling and miscelanious equipment, and providing materials for building safe homes and towns. *Propose an increase in funding for terrorism defense in all owned countries. *Fund a State Diplomat group, including people from North and South America (the owned portion), and Europe. Said diplomats will travel to un-owned countries and give speeches about the positives of State Expansion, and how it can make the world a better place. Those are just my primary goals, as more will be added in the near future! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 23, 2002 Red is owned by us. Black is a peaceful border. Blue is a war front. Red Xs are obviously targets. I posted this because some people were fuzzy on what we owned. Enjoy marvelling at our holdings! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest J*ingus Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Hey, just as a side hobby, can I conquer Antarctica and be its ruler? Mostly because I don't think it'll take anything more than me showing up with a gun and saying "hey, I run this place now". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Um, sure. I'll put up a revised map later. Make sure you have plenty of fish to placate the penguins. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SupaTaft Report post Posted June 24, 2002 South America has officially been conquered!! My grand armies are on their way home for a feast, and some serious sexual release. I treat them well. By the way, I do not request much. I am a simple soldier, and as a soldier I see things simply. All I ask from my glorious leader, is the conquered lands of my people, Greenland and Iceland. My ancestors the Vikings were the greatest conquerers of their time. I consider myself the last of the Vikings. I wish to reclaim the lands of my people and rule them with an elite group of soldiers at my side. Small band of them, just about twenty-five men and women. Just a little piece of retirement land. I would also care to know what is next on the list of lands for conquering? Australia or Africa maybe? Also Jingus, if you want Antartica, the land is yours for the taking. The entire continent consists of about twenty people, so I am sure the Nessun Duma can handle that. Minister of WAR!!! SupaTaft Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Um, you're joking about the taking over of Iceland, right? I mean, I posted this map so people wouldn't be confused about what we hold and what we don't hold. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SupaTaft Report post Posted June 24, 2002 No, I'm quite serious. You have people being "King of California" and "Lord of Idaho" and what not. I just thought that I could have back the land of my people, which is more or less a useless area of land for the State. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Big Poppa Popick Report post Posted June 24, 2002 BPP issues another Statement from the desk of the Lord of Foreign Policy Fellow citizens, I marvel at our expansion... I have changed the itenerary of my trip to include the South American nations of Brazil, Paragauy, and Argentina. We will enter into arms limitation treaties with them to assure peace in the western hemisphere. I will then make a small sojourn to establish an embassy on the Antarctica front, making us the first nation to officially recognize that area. Afterwards, our trips will take us to Australia, where we will examine the possibly harmful effects of UV rays on the population and attempt to help the native-born, all while working towards arms-limitation treaties with them as well Thank you, and have a nice day Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Ohhhh, I thought you meant militarily take it over. Oh sure, talk to Goodhelmet, because he owns Europe. He won't mind you having Iceland although if your ancestors are Vikings I'd ask for all of Scandinavia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 BPP, we aren't starting Project Dingoslaughter until after the Convention. You could go there on an innocent diplomatic trip though. Don't let on that we're going to get their asses back for 6/19. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SupaTaft Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Sounds good, but I didn't want to be picky. The Vikings reach extended far, even into the Middle East and Russia, and to Canada and Northern Maine. But I think that Scandinavia will suffice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 For some reason, red came out as brown on this world map, but we could spin that color screwup somehow. Otherwise, I'm very proud of this map, because I think it looks badass. Our holdings are in brown, future targets are in blue, peaceful border is black. Oh, and the little shiny yellow star-ish thing is Washington, our glorious capital. I have a want to make this my signature picture, and get rid of all my text. EDIT: I fixed it. I can't get red for anything, not even with custom colors. Maybe they have some kind of thing were you can't tamper with certain kinds of maps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kotzenjunge Report post Posted June 24, 2002 Minister SupaTaft, as a history fanatic, I am well aware of the reach of Viking influence. I was simply referring to their homeland. Funny, because of your Abdullah avatar, I'd always envisioned you as a black guy. And the lands directly administered are as follows: Maximum Proconsul Kotzenjunge: EVERYTHING, but specifically King of New York. Assistant Proconsul Kinetic: King of California and Chelsea Clinton's Affections. Chancellor to the Proconsul Goodhelmet(deep breath): King of Texas, Leader of Europe, and Potentate of Peru. Baron of Entertainment Jingus: Baron of Antarctica(don't ask, I don't know) Minister of War SupaTaft: King of Scandinavia(Iceland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland) Since we own Antarctica, I feel we need to help with that ozone hole problem. Cuban scientists are working on making ozone from air and water through various forms of fusion and cyclotron utilization. There are plans to expand the facilities to encompass all of the Caribbean islands, but more news will come on that later. All this and much more, including the addition of THREE Cabinet members in the last two days, in the AP Newswire report, coming soon! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
