Jaxxson Mayhem Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 Revolutionary New Year January 8, 2007 One night after New Year’s Revolution, Raw rolls into St. Louis to sort out the fallout of 2007’s first pay-per-view. Donald vs. Rosie Mr. McMahon presents Donald vs. Rosie. They will finally settle their bitter rivalry live on Raw. Samoan Bulldozered John Cena’s resolution at New Year’s Revolution was to halt Umaga’s unbeaten streak and retain his WWE Championship. The Champ was true to his word—despite a veritable onslaught from the Samoan Bulldozer, Cena clearly stunned Umaga, manager Armando Estrada, and those watching the pay-per-view with a win that has to be seen again to be believed. But is the rivalry between these two Superstars truly over, or will Umaga seek payback in St. Louis tonight? DX-acting revenge... but at what price? Edge & Randy Orton conspired to take D-Generation out for good at New Year’s Revolution to defend their World Tag Team Championship and assume their so-called rightful place atop of WWE. But rather than strip Rated-RKO of their title, Triple H & Shawn Michaels took much more satisfaction out of beating Edge and Orton within an inch of their lives. DX also didn’t walk away unscathed, nor did Triple H under his own power. The Game suffered a potentially serious injury, one that may ultimately give Edge & Orton exactly what they wanted. Just who will make it to Raw tonight, and what shape will they be in? Unhappy New Year for Nitro, Melina The first pay-per-view of 2007 was a bad one for Johnny Nitro—during his Steel Cage Match with Jeff Hardy at New Year’s Revolution, he literally came within inches of escaping the steel confines and recapturing Intercontinental gold. But a last-minute, high-risk rally helped lift Hardy to victory and preserve his championship. After Nitro’s loss, Melina hoped to gain a number one contender spot by assisting Victoria’s bid for the Women’s Championship. That, too, fell short, as those who appeared on the demented Diva’s checklist over the past several weeks aided Women’s Champion Mickie James in overcoming her powerful challenger. What’s next for these five Superstars, and will last night’s events have any fallout in the Gateway City? New challenges await on Raw Monday night at 9/8 CT on the USA Network. The Brash Billionaire vs. The Left Leaning Lesbian Written: January 8, 2007 WWE Chairman Vince McMahon has never been so proud to present live on Raw the “match” – Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. “This is the equivalent of Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H, Stone Cold vs. The Rock, Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant,” McMahon said. Using his vast influence, Mr. McMahon contacted both parties last night and both agreed to meet in the ring to settle their issue once and for all. When reached for comment, Trump was characteristically blunt. “I don’t back down from a challenge. Rosie may host The View, but the only “view” she’s going to be seeing is me beating her butterball ass.” Miss O’Donnell could not be reached for comment. Sources say she was consulting with her personal physician about possible gastric bypass surgery. From Hollywood to Wall Street to the Nation’s Capital, the scorching hostility between The Donald and the Entertainment Queen will have all eyes on the USA Network tonight. While no one knows who will win, one thing is certain: EVERYONE has an opinion. Barbara Walters, Rosie’s co-host on The View, was adamant in her opinion, saying “I’m 100 percent behind Rosie. Donald Trump claims I can’t stand Rosie but nothing can be further from the truth," Walters continued. "Just because she’s brash, opinionated, steals the spotlight from the other women on The View, belches without covering her mouth and leaves the toilet seat up… come to think of it, I hope Trump wipes the floor with her. That way maybe he can tell her what I’ve been dying to - You’re Fired!” Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was reached for comment, and he stated “I can relate to both Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. I mean, I’m overweight AND have bad hair. I see this match as a draw.” Kevin Federline, a celebrity who has experience in the squared circle, had another opinion entirely. “All I know is, I hope Rosie has the decency to wear underwear.” And Paris Hilton had a unique perspective entirely. “Wrestling? Is that like where the people fight each other? That is sooo barbaric. That’s what the dinosaurs did. Dinosaurs are stupid. What was the question again?” The hype and animosity of this issue has reached unprecedented heights, all the way up to the President of the United States. When reached for comment, President Bush said, “I just hope this match ends definitively and soon. There’s nothing worse than a conflict that lasts and lasts with no end in sight and no clear exit strategy.” With the nation’s appetite clamoring for resolution, Mr. McMahon’s plan to bring these media titans together is being hailed as a promotional stroke of genius. “THIS is what America is all about,” the Chairman of WWE said. “Two out of control egomaniacs beating the holy hell out of each other. It will be brutal, it will be ugly, it might even be disgusting but it will be LIVE Monday Night at 9 p.m. ET on USA’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW!” Seriously, who would write that 2nd article?
razazteca Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 3rd rate writers who got thrown out of Second City?
Jaxxson Mayhem Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Posted January 8, 2007 3rd rate writers who got thrown out of Second City? If they could even make it to Second City in the 1st place.
haVoc Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 Expect JR and King to use their "Owen voices" when talking about Triple H's injury tonight.
Art Sandusky Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 I think the second article was an attempt to imitate (for some godawful reason) the sort of humor you'd see on VH1.
Celtic Guardian Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 I think the second article was an attempt to imitate (for some godawful reason) the sort of humor you'd see on VH1. If that's the new direction of WWE.com, I'd like the old direction back. My head still hurts from reading that nonsense.
Guest Princess Leena Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 WTF is that Trump vs. Rosie shit? Vince showing even more how behind the times he can be.
fazzle Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 WWE.com has now added Kenny vs. Jeff Hardy for the IC title. Way too early for Kenny to win the title. So of course he will.
cabbageboy Posted January 8, 2007 Report Posted January 8, 2007 They might just get the IC off Jeff so they can do the 3 way orgy of psychotic spots at WM: Hardys vs. MNM vs. Sabu/RVD vs. London/Kendrick in a TLC match. I hope this Edge/Orton celebration tonight isn't anything like the Edge and Lita celebration after last year's New Year's Revolution PPV.
RepoMan Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 I was going to skip Raw and watch the National Championship, but w/ HHH out I'm really curious where WWE goes creativly. However, knowing WWE they'll probably just throw Flair into DX and continue DX vs. Rated RKO fued.
Mecca Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 If they were smart HBK wouldn't be on for a bit.....Edge and Orton would say they killed DX and that would be the end of it and they would move on and HBK would return without DX.
Hunter's Torn Quad Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 From Meltzer: Besides the Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump impersonators angle, some new things have been added to tonight's show: Jeff Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra for the IC title Great Khali is moved to Raw tonight There is said to be a marquee main event put on tonight's show at the last minute.
Hawk 34 Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 So much for Lashley/Khali... Oh, wait. It's Cena Vs Khali at WM isn't it?
Vampiro69 Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 So much for Lashley/Khali... Oh, wait. It's Cena Vs Khali at WM isn't it? There are literally people hanging from the rafters at Ford Field!
Scroby Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 And Khali can stay on Raw too....Hey ECW just improved a little bit.
MarvinisaLunatic Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Tonight has disaster of epic proportions written all over it.
Scroby Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Tonight has disaster of epic proportions written all over it. and just like all of us, you'll watch it just because it will be a disaster.
The Niggardly King Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 I hope they bring back the horrible Bush impersonator to play The Donald, and have Rosie play Lesby McFatterson.
billdynamite Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 I wasn't gonna tune in, but now it sounds like it could be fun in a bad way i.e Khali on a LIVE show. That's dynamite right there.
UseTheSledgehammerUh Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 I hope they show a replay of Orton completely blowing the end of DX/RKO, causing Edge to KICK OUT OF THE PEDIGREE after an instant cover, and Michaels to simply punch the referee. Somehow methinks Randy gets a taste of squash from Trips tonight on Raw.
Dobbs 3K Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Maybe they go like they did when Stone Cold suddenly dropped out of wrestling on PPV with Coach, and bring out random people like Goldust and Vader again.
The Amazing Rando Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 WWE.com has now added Kenny vs. Jeff Hardy for the IC title. Way too early for Kenny to win the title. So of course he will. IF Kenny wins, it'll be fairly back and forth with a cheap heel victory. IF Hardy wins, it'll be more like a squash with Kenny getting three moves in.
Conspiracy_Victim Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Somehow methinks Randy gets a taste of squash from Trips tonight on Raw. "I'm so good-uh I can squash people on one leg-uh!"
TheFranchise Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Flair costs Kenny the match tonight. Kenny vs Flair for NWO. Quick edit: Or the Rumble, I guess. There shouldn't be two PPV's in one month.
razazteca Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Considering the way the fake president with Crime Time segment went there can be no upside to the proposed celebrity deathmatch between The Donald and Rosie.
razazteca Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Tonight has disaster of epic proportions written all over it. and just like all of us, you'll watch it just because it will be a disaster. Some people will be watching Animal Jr. on FOX.
UseTheSledgehammerUh Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Sorry I JUST got done watching the PPV and avoided wrestling talk/sites all day. Holy shit Triple H tore his quad!!!!!!! I'm guessing a Cena/Umaga "Rumble" rematch gets set up, since last night had the most bullshit ending ever after 20 minutes of Cena getting squashed. Hardy better not lose the belt.
Mecca Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 I hope they show a replay of Orton completely blowing the end of DX/RKO, causing Edge to KICK OUT OF THE PEDIGREE after an instant cover, and Michaels to simply punch the referee. Somehow methinks Randy gets a taste of squash from Trips tonight on Raw. It was HHH's fault that spot came off like that since he blew out his leg and just fell down before Orton could hit him.....so Edge kicked out of the botched move and then it went to HBK hitting the ref and yea.
UseTheSledgehammerUh Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Dude, you're insane. Orton could've still waited and cracked H with it. Since it obviously called for that. Instead he gets all nervous and hits H's force field. Triple H was on his knees with the sloppy (although given the circumstances, miraculous) Pedigree, not rolling outside the ring. Anyways, at least DX is dead, unless Waltman comes a calling.
Mecca Posted January 9, 2007 Report Posted January 9, 2007 Dude, you're insane. Orton could've still waited and cracked H with it. Since it obviously called for that. Instead he gets all nervous and hits H's force field. I was at the show and it was really really funny......the match just turned into a clusterfuck after HHH got hurt, Orton went into full on panic mode the other 2 seemed to know what to do especially HBK.
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