So, I'm writing a sitcom

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

It needs Sitcom tweaking, it's too OCish right now.

 

1. Randal needs to say he is gay in order to convince the RA to allow him to stay w/ the chick and/or dress up like a woman to fool the crusty ol dean (where, in turn, a prof. ends up falling for the cross-dressing Randi).

 

2. The neat freak doesn't work as the lead bff. Try exhibitionist. Male nudity is funnier than OCD.

 

3. The exhibitionists roomie must be Muslim and/or Indian. Cultural Difference comedy is so hot right now.

 

4. College is done. For serious. Police Academy, OTOH, is ripe for a return.

[Dandy 0]

Yeah, Czech, I got it right away. I thought it was an exceptional job of transcription, honestly. That is why I thought it would be fun to try it in its own thread.

[Slayer 0]

Remember the short-lived black version of "The Odd Couple", with Lamont Sanford and the black detective from Barney Miller?

[Jingus 0]

Also, what kind of hedonistic university allows co-ed rooms in the dorms? Floors, yes, but actual rooms?

There are some. But mostly exceptions like married couples.

 

But when I went to college, just back in '99, they didn't have coed dorm buildings. And they had many strict rules about members of the opposite sex being allowed in dorm rooms.

[The Truthiness 0]

It needs Sitcom tweaking, it's too OCish right now.

 

1. Randal needs to say he is gay in order to convince the RA to allow him to stay w/ the chick and/or dress up like a woman to fool the crusty ol dean (where, in turn, a prof. ends up falling for the cross-dressing Randi).

 

2. The neat freak doesn't work as the lead bff. Try exhibitionist. Male nudity is funnier than OCD.

 

3. The exhibitionists roomie must be Muslim and/or Indian. Cultural Difference comedy is so hot right now.

 

4. College is done. For serious. Police Academy, OTOH, is ripe for a return.

 

I hope this wasn't a attempt at being funny, because...It was pretty corny.

 

The treatment has plent potential CB.

[Canadian Brandon 0]

Ok...so after some re-writing and note taking the script is going in a different direction. It's going to be a police drama. Randal is now a homo-sexual cop who lives with Maria who is a half-black, half-muslim, half-jewish, all-american transvestite. They go around on their motorscooters and fight the evil powers that be in the mean streets of Providence, Rhode Island. Kal, their exhibitionist police chief who is also mormon for some reason, suddenly gets shot but somehow lives thanks to the pot-smoking neat freak Jeffery. In the pilot the team investigates a strange limo bombing and some other shit blows up.

 

 

Now all I need is the number to the Fox Network and I have myself about 3 seasons worth of television!

[Guest George's Box]

Remember the short-lived black version of "The Odd Couple", with Lamont Sanford and the black detective from Barney Miller?

No, but now I want to see it really badly.

[sfaJack 0]

Kal, who is a bit of a neat freak, gets stuck with a pot smoking, obnoxious, and very unorganized fellow named Jeffery.

My first semester at college, I was in almost the exact same situation as Kal would be here.

 

Believe me, there isn't anything funny about it.

[Steviekick 0]

Kal, who is a bit of a neat freak, gets stuck with a pot smoking, obnoxious, and very unorganized fellow named Jeffery.

My first semester at college, I was in almost the exact same situation as Kal would be here.

 

Believe me, there isn't anything funny about it.

 

Same here...I think everyone has had some sort of variation of that theme and it isn't funny. You need to make some changes to the Jeffrey character.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

Ok...just a synopsis. Two life long friends embark on their journey to college. Randal, our main character, is more concerned with meeting women than his studies. Kal, the supporting best friend of Randal didn't even want to go to college but was convinced by Randal to "enjoy the experience". After a dorm mix up, the two friends are split up. Kal, who is a bit of a neat freak, gets stuck with a pot smoking, obnoxious, and very unorganized fellow named Jeffery. Randal, however, hits the jackpot. Due to a large mistake, he is roomed with the beautiful Maria. The pilot deals with Randal and Kal's adaptation to college, their roommates, and their new life in general.

 

I think you've got promise, but I'll give you an opinion or two:

 

The best friend shouldn't be the neat freak. Usually neat freaks are the ones encouraging others to go to college. Make Kal the main character who gets stuck with the slob roommate jealous of Randal, who gets the hot chick after Kal had to convince him to come along. Make sure the chick is smart, and make sure Kal has the hots for her. Lots of situations will grow from this. Make sure you don't make it to much like "How I Met Your Mother."

 

I think college is still a good idea. It's a hard sell, though, as college based sitcoms have never been successful. (Saved by the Bell says hello).

 

Make sure that they're parents play a strong part early on, whether via phone or in person. Make sure Kal's mom calls during inappropriate situations.

[Guest George's Box]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoFDNxO_Fr8

No time like now. Why isn't this still in syndication? I haven't seen it in six years, back when TNN had it.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Kal, who is a bit of a neat freak, gets stuck with a pot smoking, obnoxious, and very unorganized fellow named Jeffery.

My first semester at college, I was in almost the exact same situation as Kal would be here.

 

Believe me, there isn't anything funny about it.

 

Same here...I think everyone has had some sort of variation of that theme and it isn't funny. You need to make some changes to the Jeffrey character.

 

 

You guys both seem pretty lame, but hey, I could be wrong. Could you please expand on why Jeffrey made college hell for y'all?

 

For the record, I was nothing like the jeffrey character.

[sfaJack 0]

I probably am lame, but that actually has nothing to do with it--we just weren't a good match as roommates. He (Kevin) was a fine guy to have as a buddy, but terrible for me to live with. The biggest problems were:

 

- I was a morning person with classes that started before 1:00; Kevin was not.

- I was actually interested in studying and improving my life; Kevin was not.

- I can't stand for my house/room to be in shambles; Kevin didn't care and left his shit all over the place.

- Despite having a few hundred CD's with him, he blared only Skeletons In The Closet or Phish records at all hours of the day and night, repeatedly, and I don't really care for either band.

 

We actually got along really well, but when your roommate is pretty much the complete opposite of you in many ways, it's rough, not funny.

[Steviekick 0]

I probably am lame, but that actually has nothing to do with it--we just weren't a good match as roommates. He (Kevin) was a fine guy to have as a buddy, but terrible for me to live with. The biggest problems were:

 

- I was a morning person with classes that started before 1:00; Kevin was not.

- I was actually interested in studying and improving my life; Kevin was not.

- I can't stand for my house/room to be in shambles; Kevin didn't care and left his shit all over the place.

- Despite having a few hundred CD's with him, he blared only Skeletons In The Closet or Phish records at all hours of the day and night, repeatedly, and I don't really care for either band.

 

We actually got along really well, but when your roommate is pretty much the complete opposite of you in many ways, it's rough, not funny.

 

My roommate in college was just about the same, except substitute the hippie music for Dream Theater and Queensryche.