MLB Off-season Thread

[Guest Pizza Hut's Game Face]

Johnny Estrada is better than Brian Schneider, Lastings Milledge is better than Ryan Church, and both ex-Nats are whiter than the new and former Mets. I think somebody hit Omar Minaya in the head with a ballpeen hammer. He just got fleeced by Jim Bowden.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

Johnny Estrada is better than Brian Schneider, Lastings Milledge is better than Ryan Church, and both ex-Nats are whiter than the new and former Mets. I think somebody hit Omar Minaya in the head with a ballpeen hammer. He just got fleeced by Jim Bowden.

 

Bowden will screw it up. You watch.

 

He'll trade Milledge to the Reds.

 

Hey, good idea! Milledge for Homer Bailey! Do it, Dusty! (Can Dusty force a trade?)

 

Nah, who am I kidding - Bowden won't get Bailey. He'll get Bobby Livingston and Norris Hopper. It's just how it goes with him.

 

-

 

By the way, the Cardinals just signed Cesar Izturis. He's short and sucks at hitting baseballs. Unfortunately he is able to throw out a baserunner from shortstop and is not white, which means he will not be as good or gritty as his predecessor. Oh well.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Bowden stole Austin Kearns from Cincy, grabbed Flores in the Rule V draft, traded for Soriano, found Dmitri Young on the scrap heap, pieced together a pitching staff from nothing, hired Manny Acta, grabbed Wily Mo Pena for a AAAA 1B and just acquired a potential All-Star for a back-up catcher and 4th outfielder. He's also looking to Andruw Jones on a short term deal. I know he has a terrible repuatation (deservedly) but he's put together a nice little run in Washington so far.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

ugh

 

 

uuuuugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

Bowden stole Austin Kearns from Cincy, grabbed Flores in the Rule V draft, traded for Soriano, found Dmitri Young on the scrap heap, pieced together a pitching staff from nothing, hired Manny Acta, grabbed Wily Mo Pena for a AAAA 1B and just acquired a potential All-Star for a back-up catcher and 4th outfielder. He's also looking to Andruw Jones on a short term deal. I know he has a terrible repuatation (deservedly) but he's put together a nice little run in Washington so far.

 

All of this is true. I think people just like to bash Bowden for being an idiot. I know that's why I say bad things about him.

 

Manny Acta is amazing though. If he gets Andruw Jones I'll be quite impressed. They'll need to figure out something as far as pitching goes. A lot of these guys who haven't played in the majors in a while have started to sign in droves with Washington because of what they did with Dmitri Young - everybody wants to be the next one to rehabilitate his career with the Nationals.

 

So far the best bet for that seems to be Jason Stanford. But we shall see.

 

I apologize, Jim Bowden. You have done better at your job than some of us give you credit for.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

ugh

 

 

uuuuugghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Are you a Mets fan?

[Smartly Pretty 0]

yeah

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Excuse me a moment while a compose myself to properly evaluate the Milledge trade.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Glad that's out of the way. I can't believe the Mets are this stupid. Ryan Church placed 15th in OPS+ among 32 left fielders in MLB last year. Brian Schneider is a 31 year old catcher who can't hit. And the Mets just traded one of their top young players for that? And within their division? Utterly insane. And as another poster pointed out, the Nationals will in turn hand their catching job over to a guy they plucked from the Mets in the Rule V draft.

 

For the Mets' catching situation, I expect them to non-tender Estrada. That deal was a backup plan and really served to get rid of Guillermo Mota. No harm there.

 

The Nationals could be fun to watch next season. They have three regulars (Jesus Flores, Lastings Milledge and Ryan Zimmerman) who are 23 years old. Wily Mo Pena is 26 and should finally get regular playing time. And the club moves into their new ballpark.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

For the Mets' catching situation, I expect them to non-tender Estrada. That deal was a backup plan and really served to get rid of Guillermo Mota. No harm there.

 

Great point. I didn't think of that.

 

I too am looking forward to the Nats. They're the only MLB jersey I own, actually!

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

The Nats' press conference is at 3pm eastern. Let's see if they can get through it without breaking out in laughter.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

The Nats' press conference is at 3pm eastern. Let's see if they can get through it without breaking out in laughter.

 

 

I always wonder how trades like this one go down. I don't think I would have the courage to ask for Milledge if I was only offering Church and Schneider. If Omar initiated the talks, how do you even take him seriously? I would think he was just screwing with me. Do you try to process the paperwork as fast as possible before the othe guy realizes what he's down?

[Guest Pizza Hut's Game Face]

Cesar Izturis on the St. Louis Cardinals? Make sure you don't grab Jim Edmonds's nuts this time, because there's a 33% chance that he's really into that.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

The Nats' press conference is at 3pm eastern. Let's see if they can get through it without breaking out in laughter.

 

 

I always wonder how trades like this one go down. I don't think I would have the courage to ask for Milledge if I was only offering Church and Schneider. If Omar initiated the talks, how do you even take him seriously? I would think he was just screwing with me. Do you try to process the paperwork as fast as possible before the othe guy realizes what he's down?

 

* Phone rings. *

 

Jim Bowden: Yes?

 

Secretary: Omar Minaya from the Mets is on the phone.

 

Bowden: This should be good. Where's my list of Latino pla...

 

Omar Minaya: Hola, my amigo.

 

Bowden: Oh, hey Omar. Ho-la to you too. What's up?

 

Minaya: Eh, been a shitty week. I tried to get Bedard from the Orioles the other day, and they wouldn't bite. They said that Milledge couldn't play center field, and I was like, "Um, dudes? Do you know who Corey Patterson played for last year?" And they were like, "This conversation is over, dick."

 

Bowden: I hate when that happens.

 

Minaya: Yeah. So I don't know what I'm going to do now. I was going to call Oakland but Beane's fuckin' doing calculus problems to relax or whatever it is they do over there for fun. I was hoping I could get Haren or maybe Blanton as the backup plan or something, but their outfield is kind of crowded for Milledge and you know how Beane is - he'll demand Maine, Humber, and Pelfrey or something.

 

Bowden: Yeah, Billy's an asshole.

 

Minaya: So, I don't know, I just thought I would call and see what's up with you.

 

Bowden: Well, I don't know. I haven't been drinking as much lately.

 

Minaya: That's good.

 

Bowden: Not so much.

 

Minaya: Oh...

 

Bowden: Yeah. Been talking to Andruw Jones' agent. It's like the dude doesn't realize that his client hit for shit last year. Yeah, alright, you hit fifty homers a couple years ago. Do you really think you're going to do that again? Come on.

 

Minaya: Dude, seriously. Be careful around those hyped-up center fielders. No joke.

 

Bowden: Yeah, you'd know.

 

Minaya: At least he's Latino.

 

Bowden: ... Well, anyway. Trying to figure out what to do with the outfield. We don't have much to move, maybe Schneider because some idiot left Flores unprotected last year.

 

Minaya: Dick.

 

Bowden: Sorry. You know I've made my share of mistakes. Have you ever heard of the Cincinnati Reds?

 

Minaya: I worked for the Expos.

 

Bowden: I always knew there was a reason why we got along so well.

 

Minaya: Yeah.

 

Bowden: Yeah. So, I dunno. You guys just traded for Estrada, right? Nice salary dump. I hear Mota's back on the stuff, too. Someone should tell him he sucks anyway before his nuts are gone completely.

 

Minaya: I tried. He wouldn't listen so I did the next best thing, I traded him to Milwaukee.

 

Bowden: Dick.

 

Minaya: No joke.

 

Bowden: I don't know, what do you think? The catcher market is all fucked up with your dickery with Torrealba and so on. It seems like Lo Duca is losing some value or something because you guys didn't want him.

 

Minaya: It was a race thing.

 

Bowden: I figured. You probably wouldn't want Schneider then. We don't really have any Latinos. Do you want Wily Mo Peña or something? I worked really hard to get him. Hardest I've ever worked. You'll have to give up, like, a lot of stuff to get him.

 

Minaya: Nah, I know better than to ask.

 

Bowden: Well, I don't know what I can do to help you then.

 

Minaya: Me either. I just wanted to talk.

 

Bowden: Alright, well, just so this isn't a total waste of time on the records or whatever - we have an owner now so it's like, "Everything you do needs to be documented!"

 

Minaya: Probably because you're a drunk.

 

Bowden: Probably. So what do you say... I don't know, Schneider for Heilman. Whitey for whitey.

 

Minaya: No, I am going to try to move Heilman to someone else still.

 

Bowden: Well, who else do I have?

 

Minaya: You hate that guy Church, right?

 

Bowden: With all my heart.

 

Minaya: Okay, well, what about Church for Estrada?

 

Bowden: Fuck you.

 

Minaya: Okay, okay! What about Church for... uh... shit.

 

Bowden: Haha, nice one. Here you go - Church and Schneider for Heilman.

 

Minaya: Bullshit. I already said no to Heilman.

 

Bowden: Okay, Church and Schneider for Milledge.

 

Minaya: Fuck it, alright.

 

Bowden: You for real?

 

Minaya: Yeah. I hate that kid.

 

Bowden: Shit. Alright. Hold on, I have to... put this down and find some paperwork.

 

Minaya: Alright, let me put on my secretary or whatever and you can put on your girlfriend or whoever does shit over there and we'll get this trade over and done. I feel sick.

 

Bowden: You been drinking?

 

Minaya: Dude, not everybody is like you. But yes.

[Guest Pizza Hut's Game Face]

Oh, God, there's no way I'll ever read all of that, but you get a courtesy lol for the last two lines.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

That was sort of funny, but you put way too much work into it. You could have said the same thing in ten lines.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

You can't put too much work into your art. And that was art.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

So Kenny Rogers re-signed with the Tigers. Anyone care?

 

*crickets chrip*

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

So Kenny Rogers re-signed with the Tigers. Anyone care?

 

*crickets chrip*

 

Cameramen in other MLB cities breathe a sigh of relief.

 

They have gone on strike in Detroit. They want combat pay or something.

[MFer 0]

So Kenny Rogers re-signed with the Tigers. Anyone care?

 

*crickets chrip*

I guess I care...hopefully he has enough left in the tank to put out one more good year.

[Precious Roy 0]

Some Mets fans are speculating that this could be a precursor to a deal for Santana or Haren, with the pretext being that the Twins and A's had soured on Milledge but really like Ryan Church.....

 

...

 

Minaya is on WFAN at 4pm. You can listen to it at wfan.com. It should be good because Francesa and Russo always grill him and they've already brought up the fact that the Mets sold low on Milledge and if the market wasn't there would have been better off just not trading him at all, so Omar is really going to have to explain this one beyond touting the talents of Church and Schneider.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

Some Mets fans are speculating that this could be a precursor to a deal for Santana or Haren, with the pretext being that the Twins and A's had soured on Milledge but really like Ryan Church.....

 

...

 

Minaya is on WFAN at 4pm. You can listen to it at wfan.com. It should be good because Francesa and Russo always grill him and they've already brought up the fact that the Mets sold low on Milledge and if the market wasn't there would have been better off just not trading him at all, so Omar is really going to have to explain this one beyond touting the talents of Church and Schneider.

 

The Santana thing seems possible. Who else would New York put in the deal though? Minnesota was asking for Reyes or Wright to start with before. A lot of people thought Reyes was a real possibility given that they traded Bartlett. Frankly I don't see Reyes being a very good fit on that team anyway, but whatever.

 

Maybe the Twins would ask for Church, Carlos Gomez, and Mike Pelfrey now? That's still a lot, but remember I'm thinking about what the Twins would ask for, not what the final package would be.

[Brett Favre 0]

Minaya: Eh, been a shitty week. I tried to get Bedard from the Orioles the other day, and they wouldn't bite. They said that Milledge couldn't play center field, and I was like, "Um, dudes? Do you know who Corey Patterson played for last year?" And they were like, "This conversation is over, dick."

 

[NYU 0]

I've always been a fan of Minaya's work but this offseason has been horrid for him so far. Milledge was trade bait -- perhaps not as valuable as he was two years ago but an outfielder that still required a higher price than Church and Schneider! I assume this effectively places them out of any dealings for Johan Santana....hell, it would place them out of any dealings for an above average starter, period. They don't have anybody else left to trade!

 

If the Mets don't make the playoffs in 2008, Minaya needs to go. Now we have three catchers, none of which can match Paul Lo Duca who was never impressive in the first place. We lost a valuable utility outfielder. And oh yeah, we still lack an ace.

 

At this rate, the Mets will be struggling to compete for third place in the division.

[NYU 0]

Yikes, that Ryechnaia dialogue is so long. I don't know if conversations between baseball GMs even go that long.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

Yikes, that Ryechnaia dialogue is so long. I don't know if conversations between baseball GMs even go that long.

 

It feels faster when you're saying it.

[Guest Pizza Hut's Game Face]

The cast of Gilmore Girls could recite that and it would still take forever.

[Mike wanna be 0]

The Mets were asking around if trading Milledge was going to hurt their chances to pick up anybody good, and the answer was a resounding no. He strikes out too much and it isn't like the Mets are hurting for outfielders.

 

Then again, they got a catcher and an outfielder out of it, so who knows. Milledge's value was dropping year by year, might as well move him now and get something out of him on the off chance he crumbles.

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

Minya is coming on Michael Kay's show right now.

[Guest RyechnaiaSobaka]

The cast of Gilmore Girls could recite that and it would still take forever.

 

That hurt, dude. Seriously.

[Guest Pizza Hut's Game Face]

You are clay, and we are your kiln; we shall fire you into brick.