STATE OF THE SWF 2008

[Toxxic 0]

The SWF in 2008

 

Well, Landon’s in charge with me kicking around as backup/dogsbody/voice of reason/person who’s around at weekends. We’ve moved away from anything approaching a regular schedule and towards doing things as we want, when we want, how we want! Think of it less as abandoning a comforting routine and heading towards a confusing, bewildering mess of chaotic uncertainty and more of leaving a cloying, intrusive and demanding regimentation and heading for the carefree and live-for-the-moment attitude so rarely realised by the modern public.

 

Either that, or we realised that people just don’t want to write 5000 words a week and took pity on you in an effort to save the fed. Take yer pick.

 

So, leaving that ballyhoo (but no pyro) aside, on to business. Put simply, we feel that perhaps a few changes are needed in the SWF and how we have done things in the past. And when I say ‘we’ I obviously mean anyone except me and Landon, because we are of course faultless. Mainly, I’m talking about the whole sordid issue of pushing people. We are a match-writing fed. The results of matches affect your position within the fed, we all know that. But how do we decide who gets what match in the first place? Well, that’s where we perhaps need to focus on things a bit. Take note:

 

1) WINNING MATCHES

Kinda obvious. Win matches and you’ll get bigger, better, more exciting matches, perhaps for titles.

 

2) PUTTING THE EFFORT IN

So you always write, but you don’t win. That’s not good. That’s not motivating. Do you deserve to be buried in the SWF’s undercard simply because you’re not so good at this whole thing? Not if you’re trying. Will we put you over a better match on the basis of you keeping trying? No. But what we will do is keep putting you into positions where you get the chances to do something. Whether you’re the plucky face who always fails at the last hurdle or the fan favourite or the monster heel Kane-clone whom everyone fears but everyone defeats but still gets big matches on the basis of being big, or even the chicken-shit heel whom everyone likes to see get beaten up, there’s a place for you on the card and a reason for you to get just one more opportunity… as long as you’re putting the effort in. And maybe this time, it’ll work out for you.

 

3) CONSISTENCY

So you’re a great writer who puts in a great match one time in three, no-shows the second time and does a 500-word squash the third. And yet mysteriously, your best matches always seem to coincide with the ones that matter, the title shot or the chance to get a title shot, whatever. This is not good. It’s understandable that you’ll be more motivated for some matches than others, but if we see that you are only bothering to put effort in when there’s something in it for you, you will stop getting those chances. Please, show some respect for the fed and your opponents and if you’ve agreed to be booked, write to somewhere near what you’re capable of.

 

4) NAME VALUE

It’s official, name value means shit in the new-and-improved SWF. The big name returnee might get a high-profile return match if they warrant it, and we’re not above putting a one-off return up as a marquee match to make everyone happy. What I’m saying is, don’t expect that because you’ve done it all before and you were owning all the competition in *insert year here* you will get consistent main-event treatment now if you’re not bringing the goods. There’s a bunch of current mid-carders working their butts off who deserve a World Title shot ahead of you. Get in line. That said, if you are a Name who IS bringing the goods, we’ll pimp you like Jesus Brand Whiskey, just don’t expect special treatment on name alone.

 

(p.s. www.pleasecomeback.com)

 

5) ANGLES

Storylines are good. Storylines are fun. Storylines are what makes pro wrestling more than two or more people of sometimes indeterminate gender rolling around on canvas in their underwear. WE WANT TO SEE ANGLES. Big, complicated angles! Angles that twist, and turn (yet are non-Russo). If you can organise, co-ordinate or play a major role in an angle, you’re taking the time and trouble to get involved in the fed and we will take the time and trouble to reward you… at the end of the angle. Angles should be about the story, not about “I want the title”. Sure, that can be a part of it, but there needs to be something else there too. Give us a good story and we’ll give you at least a chance of getting that title. Try and crowbar your way into the title picture and we’ll more than likely no-sell you and the angle you rode in on.

 

That’s all folks. Discuss/flame/ignore at your pleasure.

 

 

 

Oh, one more thing. Are we still happy with Mak and King as an announce team, or do we need to change? And if so, who to?

[Sly 0]

That’s all folks. Discuss/flame/ignore at your pleasure.

 

[Toxxic 0]

I told you to ignore it Sly. Specifically you.

[AnnieEclectic 0]

I hope I'm not crying sacrilege here, but I'm never against the idea of shaking up an announce team. I'm probably in the minority on that but meh.

 

 

-Annie

[The Ill One 0]

I'm not against the idea either but I don't know who everybody would be comfortable with- plus I'm wondering if it should be somebody who hasn't been used yet or just pair two earlier ones together.

[Golgo 13 0]

I'm all for changing up the team, but have no ideas on who to substitute.

[AnnieEclectic 0]

Just some ideas....

 

 

Frost & TNT (yeah, I know I mark for CCBB, but their personalities look like it'd work, I see frost as almost a cold Jesse Ventura type of heel announcer, with TNT being a hyper face play by play - sort of Joey Styles. Plus, how awesome would it be to make the face PBP guy yell "EXPLODE~!" every 5 minutes?)

 

ELM (heel mode)/Uncle Filthy(face)/Ghost Machine (?) - I know GM doesn't talk, but it'd be a cute running gag. Not totally necessary but I think it'd be neat to have the heel be more serious and the face be more goofy. Guess this sort of follows the previous formula but would be more lightheared than CCBB.

 

Thoth (heel)/Ced Ordonez(face) (the two most DDR obsessed SWF'ers combine for a markfest whenever Dance Dance Dragon wrestles)

 

Also... perhaps we could do like RoH or Chikara where you have a main announcer (I'd nominate Frost or Thoth for this spot) and a rotating set of other possible announcers from the fed. It could allow for nice customization of announce styles without each char getting occasionally butchered.

 

Just my two cents

 

-Annie

[Guest This is Bo]

I would put BO for the heel announce table, hey, I know I'm using him for the time being...but he will slowly be out of SIN's life (in the professional way)

 

Mark Stevens as the face (play by play) Bo and GSMS were great friends and bitter enemies...these two has have a lot of battles. That's my two cents.

 

hehe...Bo, the thuggish Heel

GSMS...the intellegent professional (Also comical when he wants to be)

 

That should be interesting.

 

Another one would be...(This is going way back)

 

Face: CYYYYYYYYYCCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE Comet

 

Heel: Thoth...(He's scary, the name is scary.

 

 

 

That's my nominations and I'm sticking to it.

 

SIN

[Toxxic 0]

Coming to the fed as I did in the era of Comet and Riley on commentary, I've always loved Comet despite the fact that many others say he's totally unsuited for play-by-play. Certainly a heel ELM is worth considering.

 

...part of me wonders whether budget cuts should lead to a Landon and Toxxic commentary team. Were it to occur in real life that would be either incredibly annoying or one of the greatest teams In The History Of Our Sport. But probably the former.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Also... perhaps we could do like RoH or Chikara where you have a main announcer (I'd nominate Frost or Thoth for this spot) and a rotating set of other possible announcers from the fed. It could allow for nice customization of announce styles without each char getting occasionally butchered.

 

There's now at least four people in the fed who know what CHIKARA is.

 

I feel so happy.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Here's a combo I don't recall being mentioned before: Taamo and Alan Clark.

 

Or, since most of the writers seem to love having at least one guy on commentary that they can "tool" off of: Taamo and Johnny Dangerous.

 

[isaiah Thomas]

 

It's crazy enough that it just might work.

 

[/isaiah Thomas]

[AnnieEclectic 0]

Here's a combo I don't recall being mentioned before: Taamo and Alan Clark.

 

Or, since most of the writers seem to love having at least one guy on commentary that they can "tool" off of: Taamo and Johnny Dangerous.

 

[isaiah Thomas]

 

It's crazy enough that it just might work.

 

[/isaiah Thomas]

 

Do us a favor and never let Isaiah Thomas be an inspiration for a SWF idea. Please.

 

EDIT: let it be known that if he's inactive now, Taamo as a heel announcer sounds brilliant. But that's because I mark for Taamo.

[Golgo 13 0]

All I know is that I better be an announcer if/when I retire.

 

Tom and Mark Stevens? Just throwing a face name out there. As long as someone, whether it's Tom or King, is there to verbally fellate me at every turn.

[Retard Girl 0]

Also... perhaps we could do like RoH or Chikara where you have a main announcer (I'd nominate Frost or Thoth for this spot) and a rotating set of other possible announcers from the fed. It could allow for nice customization of announce styles without each char getting occasionally butchered.

 

There's now at least four people in the fed who know what CHIKARA is.

 

I feel so happy.

 

 

 

*raises hand*

 

five. who do you think introduced her to the wonder thant is CHIKARA?

 

*points to self*

 

that's right.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Tom and TNT.

 

 

And I call dibs on ending Mak's career as an announcer.

[The Ill One 0]

Flesher/Stevens sounds interesting and so does Flesher/Dangerous, although I wouldn't really know how to write Dangerous. That's the same issue with Thoth, they're going to develop some sort of whacky-tacky and zany commentary style that has nothing do with the wrestler. Now, on the other hand, we've never had a problem doing that with wrestlers previously so, eh.

 

Edit: The idea of rotating commentators with one person being the "main" one would be fun to write until somebody throws a desperate one out there like Cutthroat. Oh shit, I got it- Cutthroat/Flink. Hell yes.

[Sly 0]

Memphis Eel.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Also... perhaps we could do like RoH or Chikara where you have a main announcer (I'd nominate Frost or Thoth for this spot) and a rotating set of other possible announcers from the fed. It could allow for nice customization of announce styles without each char getting occasionally butchered.

 

There's now at least four people in the fed who know what CHIKARA is.

 

I feel so happy.

 

 

 

*raises hand*

 

five. who do you think introduced her to the wonder thant is CHIKARA?

 

*points to self*

 

that's right.

 

Well, you were one of the four, going by the avatar. That's old school too.

[Retard Girl 0]

Bryce + bondage = love.

[Toxxic 0]

Do we even have people (except Wildchild and, uh, IL) who remember Mark Stevens? Taamo as commentator would be grand, although we'd need to try and find a way for him to put people over besides himself.

[JST 0]

I remember Stevens during my first run here. I'm fine with anyone, just as long as it's not too "gimmicky".

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I remember Stevens. Jeez, I've been here a really long time.

[JHawk 0]

Not sure if you're still taking suggestions for a new broadcast team, but I always felt Jay Hawke was well-suited for the heel color commentator in the vein of JBL. He can talk strategy and praise faces when they do well but is still partial to the heels.

 

Plus I can always bring him out of "retirement" for the occasional big match/angle when storylines call for it.