Pitch Larry the Cable Guy Movie Ideas

[Kinetic 0]

Bubba Del Ray(Larry the Cable Guy) is a recently widowed father of three who has nearly bankrupted the family in attempts to save his lingering wife. Bubba is working on a business deal to get the family out of debt when he climbs into the taxicab of a maniacal Arab.

 

In an attempt to end the ensuing mania, Bubba proclaims that he is in fact Allah and orders the driver to stop the cab immediately. Overwrought with the confrontation, the driver releases the steering wheel. The taxi slams into the barrier of a bridge and teeters over a river. As Bubba frantically tries to exit, the vehicle topples into the river, an incident which appears to kill both occupants.

 

Rather than awakening to a day of reckoning, Bubba finds himself floating around the lab of a scientist studying the paranormal who agrees to "send [him] back".

 

Bubba, who had neglected to get life insurance before his accident, fears that his children will grow up impoverished without him. As a floating spirit that can only be seen in darkened rooms, Bubba returns to his house and concocts a scheme to somehow finish his business deal and be approved for health coverage before his body is discovered and news of his death is made public. His children are in on the plan and try their best to keep their father's secret.

 

I call it Redneck Ghost Dad.

 

[Twisted Intestine 0]

I have a feeling that this will be the thread to ruin your quest for perfection. It's just too soon, people are sick of pitching. But we shall see, I may be wrong.

[Kinetic 0]

Cletus T. Periwinkle is an easy-going trucker and a great fist-fighter. With two friends - Dale, who promotes prize-fights for him, and Foxworthy, the orangutan he won on a bet - he roams the San Fernando Valley in search of cold beer, country music and the occasional punch-up. But he is floored himself by a dainty little country and western singer, who gives him the slip when she realizes he's getting too serious. Cletus, Dale and Foxworthy set off in pursuit, pestered by bikers.

 

I call it Every Which Way But Good.

[King Kamala 0]

Larry The Cable Guy plays the propeitor of an successful hot dog cart in Tampa, Florida. His luck changes for the worst when a brand new hoity-toity restaurant opens near his cart and its owner is willing to do anything to get rid of the hot dog stand and its redneck propeitor. It's Hot Diggity Dog, co-starring Terrance Stamp as the elitist restaurant owner and Carmen Electra as Larry's love interest.

[Guest Michael Myers Resplendent]

I have a feeling that this will be the thread to ruin your quest for perfection. It's just too soon, people are sick of pitching.

I'm pitching in high seas.

[Kinetic 0]

Larry the Cable Guy stars as Buddy Pigfarm, the manager of a rodeo. A longtime lothario, Buddy has always been very content as a bachelor, but he has begun to feel lately that he'd like to experience fatherhood. His yearnings receive plenty of fuel from his best friends Clem and Dooley, and from his parental-mentor relationship with a young boy, Jimbo. So Buddy decides to seek out a woman who will bear his baby for a price, with no strings attached. He finds Loretta Mabler, a beautiful young music student working as a waitress and yearning for the financial resources to study in Nashville. She agrees to serve as Buddy's temporary companion, but as the months pass and her pregnancy progresses, Loretta begins to fall in love with Buddy, who doesn't return her affections -- at first.

 

I call it Hillbilly Seed. It's based on this movie:

 

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

Larry Goes to Africa

 

Everybody's favorite dipshit travels to Nigeria; gets devoured by the siafu.

[King Kamala 0]

I'm thinking a modern day, live action human adaptation of The Aesop fable, The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse. Larry plays Enos McCullough, a country bumpkin who moves to Los Angeles after he gets laid off from his job as the overnight janitor at a cereal factory. Larry moves in with his cousin, Lance (played by Ron Livingston of Office Space semi-fame), now a famous record producer. For a short time, Enos lives in the high life until at a post MTV Movie Award party, he witnesses the murder of a big-time hip hop star. This draws the ire of evil record label owner, Big J Money (played by Terry Crews). Now Enos has to outsmart the gangstas and safely return to the country.

[Kinetic 0]

A serious role for Larry the Cable Guy. He plays the hero who returns from Iraq and takes over his father's trucking business in Tucson, Arizona. He soon discovers that the shippers are corrupt and want him to smuggle illegal loads of cigarettes and slot machines. When he refuses to load such commodities they load his trailer with manure out of spite. He then punches the loaders and they fall face down in the muck.

 

The movie shows the struggles of the American trucker. It shows truckers as knights of the highways struggling against big business and politics. He must haul illegal loads or he does not work at all. The movie depicts the issue of driver fatigue, overworked tired drivers trying to stay awake driving all night. The climax of the movie is when the hero crashes his truck into the giant sign of the corporation who caused him to suffer as an independent trucker. The truck is totaled, the driver goes to the hospital, and then he and his wife drive off into the sunset.

 

 

 

 

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

It shows truckers as knights of the highways struggling against big business and politics

 

But they're not.

[Kinetic 0]

Well, you're from Kentucky. You have an intimate knowledge of the trucking industry. Ordinary folks'll eat this stuff up.

[JaMarcus Russell's #1 Caucasian Fan 0]

Larry the Cable Guy stars in a white adapation of Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing. Its the hottest day of the year as Larry is a frustrated delivery guy living on the outskirts of town in the desert outpost Palmdale, California. Larry works for a black-owned Soul Food restaurant that has been doing business in the trailer park communities for generations. Larry is in constant trouble with his boss, and one of his sons is unapologetic hater of renecks. Larry interacts with characters such as a welfare queen, a demented Vietnam veteran that holds up photos of Ronald Reagan and Jerry Falwell, a wife-beater that is the "unofficial mayor" of the trailer park, and a Neo-Nazi punk that blasts country music all day long with his boom box.

 

The climax of the film unfolds in the Soul Food restaurant, where the Neo-Nazi is kicked out for complaining that the owner's wall didn't have enough white people on it. The situation escalates into a full riot when the Neo Nazi killed by a black police officer, and Larry is torn between siding with his people or siding with his employers. In a crime of passion, Larry throws a trash can through the window of the restuarant and the place is looted and burned. The next day, Larry meets his boss to receive payment for the week. In an emotional confrontation Larry and his boss realize that violence isn't the answer.

 

The soundtrack will be done by Randy Travis

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

My brother is a trucker who recently failed his drug test.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Larry the Cable Guy stars in a white adapation of Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing. Its the hottest day of the year as Larry is a frustrated delivery guy living on the outskirts of town in the desert outpost Palmdale, California. Larry works for a black-owned Soul Food restaurant that has been doing business in the trailer park communities for generations. Larry is in constant trouble with his boss, and one of his sons is unapologetic hater of renecks. Larry interacts with characters such as a welfare queen, a demented Vietnam veteran that holds up photos of Ronald Reagan and Jerry Falwell, a wife-beater that is the "unofficial mayor" of the trailer park, and a Neo-Nazi punk that blasts country music all day long with his boom box.

 

The climax of the film unfolds in the Soul Food restaurant, where the Neo-Nazi is kicked out for complaining that the owner's wall didn't have enough white people on it. The situation escalates into a full riot when the Neo Nazi killed by a black police officer, and Larry is torn between siding with his people or siding with his employers. In a crime of passion, Larry throws a trash can through the window of the restuarant and the place is looted and burned. The next day, Larry meets his boss to receive payment for the week. In an emotional confrontation Larry and his boss realize that violence isn't the answer.

 

The soundtrack will be done by Randy Travis

 

That was fucking genius.

[King Kamala 0]

Only thing I would change is I'd have the soundtrack done by Big and Rich. They seem to be the antithesis of Public Enemy (though they did introduce Cowboy Troy, the rapping cowboy to the world...).

[Bruiser_Brody_ 0]

Larry the Cable Guy plays Dan, an Olympic level wrestler who trains with a boozing and drugged up Iranian named Khosrow. Later in the movie he leads a Pittsburgh wrestler with a broken freakin' neck to the Olynpic Gold. The movie is titled "Larry that Dan Gable Guy"

[Failed Bridge 0]

I just don't understand how somebody can't get this oaf hooked on some pain med, booze, and sleeping pills so he can be found dead in a pool of his vomit and blood. Take John Candy, James Belushi, and Chris Farley but do nothing to Larry the Cable Guy or Cedric the Entertainer? Fuck you too god

[UZI Suicide 0]

Larry the Cable Guy plays hard-working family man Clint Tucker. Clint Tucker loves three things - fishing, NASCAR and "The Price is Right". Clint's birthday present from his wife is a real doozy, a trip out to Los Angeles to be in the audience for a taping of "The Price is Right". Clint can't believe his luck when he's actually called up to the stage to compete in one of the games. Everyone is having fun except for host Drew Carey, who has come down with a horrible case of the flu. Clint can't believe his luck when he actually makes it up on stage and gets to play "Plinko". While playing Plinko, Carey's flu begins getting out of control and his coughing, sneezing and dizzy spells cause him to leave the stage. Clint uses his southern charm to keep the crowd entertained with jokes and humorous anecdotes before production decides to halt taping on the show.

 

While walking back to his car, Clint feels dejected and somehow responsible for Drew Carey being sick. A middle aged man in a suit, a CBS executive, chases him down in the parking lot and informs him that Drew Carey just quit the show, citing the constant workload as a problem for him, causing him to be sick all the time. The suit tells Clint that after seeing the way the crowd responded to him, they're prepared to offer him the job as host. Clint nearly falls over with excitement, but quickly accepts the job and becomes new host of the Price is Right!

 

His excitement quickly turns sour, however, after buying a new house in L.A. and helping The Price is Right dominate in ratings during his first few weeks on the air, he gets a chilling phone call from Drew Carey who informs him that his "sickness" isn't actually the reason he quit, but rather because he feared for his life. A rival talk show host who was failing in the ratings had hired assassins to kill Drew Carey. He told Clint the same group would soon be after him. Clint can't believe it, but sure enough, troubling signs pop up. He finds himself being followed home most nights and gets menacing notes from this group left for him in his dressing room.

 

With the help of the FBI, Clint begins to combat these people, but finds the help from the FBI isn't quite enough. He decides to take justice into his own hands, calling on his best friend and retired police chief Sam Cole (Bill Engvall). With Sam's help, Clint becomes talk show host by day, undercover agent by night, turning the tables on these ruthless assassins and figuring out just exactly who they are and who they are working for. When they are figured out, they decide to launch a full-fledged attack on Clint. During a particular taping of the show, the group decides to kill him on stage while he's doing the show to make their ultimate statement. After the showcase showdown, when one of the guests wins a new car and his family and friends come on to celebrate, the killers hit the stage, hoping to get lost in the crowd and run up on Clint and shoot him. A few shots are fired and Clint is able to duck, but the crowd is sent into a frenzy. Needing to do something quickly, he hops into the guest's newly won SUV and runs down the would-be assassins, hitting all of them with the car. He gets out of the SUV, surveys the damage, smiles for the camera and says.."Now don't forget to spay and neuter your pets ya'll.. GIT R' DONE!"

 

His star gets even bigger after this, and he makes talk show appearances on all the major shows (Leno, Larry King, etc.) to talk about his experience. CBS execs are so pleased that they offer him a multi-million dollar raise, but Clint has other ideas. After taking his family on a vacation to Hawaii while "Price" isn't taping, he decides he has to do the right thing. When he comes back to Los Angeles, he heads over to Drew Carey's house. Carey tells him how proud he is of what he did and wished he could have had the courage to do that. Clint tells him it was nothing, and the final scene of the movie happens..

 

Clint: *pulls Plinko chip and keys to his on-set trailer out of his pocket* I believe this belongs to you..

 

Drew: What? No, it's your show now.

 

Clint: Nah man, it's your show. After doin' this for a few months, I realized this job, this Hollywood life, it ain't cut out fer me. I reckon the best thing for me to do is take the money I dun made, head back home and get back to mah life of fishin', Dale Jr. and watchin' you on TV. This your show, man.

 

Drew: Thank you, I really appreciate it.

 

Clint: No problem. *begins walking back to his new convertible, but turns around right before he opens the door*. Drew, just remember one thing.. GIT R' DONE!!!

[Bruiser_Brody_ 0]

Larry the Cable Guy plays hard-working family man Clint Tucker. Clint Tucker loves three things - fishing, NASCAR and "The Price is Right". Clint's birthday present from his wife is a real doozy, a trip out to Los Angeles to be in the audience for a taping of "The Price is Right". Clint can't believe his luck when he's actually called up to the stage to compete in one of the games. Everyone is having fun except for host Drew Carey, who has come down with a horrible case of the flu. Clint can't believe his luck when he actually makes it up on stage and gets to play "Plinko". While playing Plinko, Carey's flu begins getting out of control and his coughing, sneezing and dizzy spells cause him to leave the stage. Clint uses his southern charm to keep the crowd entertained with jokes and humorous anecdotes before production decides to halt taping on the show.

 

While walking back to his car, Clint feels dejected and somehow responsible for Drew Carey being sick. A middle aged man in a suit, a CBS executive, chases him down in the parking lot and informs him that Drew Carey just quit the show, citing the constant workload as a problem for him, causing him to be sick all the time. The suit tells Clint that after seeing the way the crowd responded to him, they're prepared to offer him the job as host. Clint nearly falls over with excitement, but quickly accepts the job and becomes new host of the Price is Right!

 

His excitement quickly turns sour, however, after buying a new house in L.A. and helping The Price is Right dominate in ratings during his first few weeks on the air, he gets a chilling phone call from Drew Carey who informs him that his "sickness" isn't actually the reason he quit, but rather because he feared for his life. A rival talk show host who was failing in the ratings had hired assassins to kill Drew Carey. He told Clint the same group would soon be after him. Clint can't believe it, but sure enough, troubling signs pop up. He finds himself being followed home most nights and gets menacing notes from this group left for him in his dressing room.

 

With the help of the FBI, Clint begins to combat these people, but finds the help from the FBI isn't quite enough. He decides to take justice into his own hands, calling on his best friend and retired police chief Sam Cole (Bill Engvall). With Sam's help, Clint becomes talk show host by day, undercover agent by night, turning the tables on these ruthless assassins and figuring out just exactly who they are and who they are working for. When they are figured out, they decide to launch a full-fledged attack on Clint. During a particular taping of the show, the group decides to kill him on stage while he's doing the show to make their ultimate statement. After the showcase showdown, when one of the guests wins a new car and his family and friends come on to celebrate, the killers hit the stage, hoping to get lost in the crowd and run up on Clint and shoot him. A few shots are fired and Clint is able to duck, but the crowd is sent into a frenzy. Needing to do something quickly, he hops into the guest's newly won SUV and runs down the would-be assassins, hitting all of them with the car. He gets out of the SUV, surveys the damage, smiles for the camera and says.."Now don't forget to spay and neuter your pets ya'll.. GIT R' DONE!"

 

His star gets even bigger after this, and he makes talk show appearances on all the major shows (Leno, Larry King, etc.) to talk about his experience. CBS execs are so pleased that they offer him a multi-million dollar raise, but Clint has other ideas. After taking his family on a vacation to Hawaii while "Price" isn't taping, he decides he has to do the right thing. When he comes back to Los Angeles, he heads over to Drew Carey's house. Carey tells him how proud he is of what he did and wished he could have had the courage to do that. Clint tells him it was nothing, and the final scene of the movie happens..

 

Clint: *pulls Plinko chip and keys to his on-set trailer out of his pocket* I believe this belongs to you..

 

Drew: What? No, it's your show now.

 

Clint: Nah man, it's your show. After doin' this for a few months, I realized this job, this Hollywood life, it ain't cut out fer me. I reckon the best thing for me to do is take the money I dun made, head back home and get back to mah life of fishin', Dale Jr. and watchin' you on TV. This your show, man.

 

Drew: Thank you, I really appreciate it.

 

Clint: No problem. *begins walking back to his new convertible, but turns around right before he opens the door*. Drew, just remember one thing.. GIT R' DONE!!!

 

And to think I read the whole thing hoping for a payoff......

 

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Seems the logical choice is to play "Larry Sanders" (or any other famous Larry you can think of in TV history) in a sequel to Cable Guy.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Larry The Cable Guy plays an older version of Ehtan Suplee's character from American History X

[Kinetic 0]

Larry the Cable Guy plays conservative commentator Glenn Beck in Hard Knocks: The Glenn Beck Story.

 

This is the last Glenn Beck joke I will ever tell. It's out of my system.

[King Kamala 0]

Larry The Cable Guy plays Vernon Waltrip, a former thief who after being released from a nine year prison sentence, just wants to go straight. However, his old buddy, Dequan Jones (played by Tyler Perry) convinces him to pull off one last heist. Along with their good pal Calvin Chang (played by MADTV's Bobby Lee), they will rob Atlanta's most popular bakery in Black and White Fortune Cookie

[Nighthawk 0]

Funny thing about Larry the Cable Guy...

 

Watch some videos of him before he became the Larry character. I don't fault him for being a lie... he makes money off it. But he was just incredibly bad when he was trying to be himself. He was totally Joey Gladstone in real life.

 

[Kinetic 0]

Why do you have to ruin everything that I enjoy?

[King Kamala 0]

[Kinetic 0]

That's amazing. His name isn't even Larry! What a fraud.

[King Kamala 0]

He isn't even from the South! He's from Nebraska! Boo! Hiss!

[Nighthawk 0]

Honest to god, a couple years ago I was working on this building where Metallica had filmed this Mtv special or something, I have no idea what it was...

But it was in San Francisco, and the building went on to be the headquarters of Macromedia for this region.

 

Anyway, in the service elevator that the construction guys used, someone had written "GIT-R-DONE!" and I crossed out half of it and changed it to "GIT-IT-UP!"

[Ravenbomb 0]

"Larry The Cable Guy Fucks Off and Dies"

 

It's sorta like The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford. The title pretty much gives away the movie.