Things that Amuse or Please You

[bob_barron]

I haven't bought a pair of shoes in almost three years. That pleases me.

[Nighthawk]

Here's my full list:

 

black and white Chuck Taylors

royal blue Chucks

all black Chucks

violet Chucks

pink Chucks

Samba classics

pink and green Nike Court Force lows

Jordan 5s in white

Jordan 11s in black

orange Hush Puppy slip ons

white Sperry top siders

black Doc Martens

brown Doc Martens

swastika boots

Adidas Muhammad Ali boots

Brian Sumner pro model Adios

snakeskin cowboy boots

some purple dress shoes, I'm unsure of the brand

camo Air Force 1s

Puma sandals

blue Pumas suedes

white Lugz

red and white Le Coq Sportiff

 

 

I think there's some more. It's fucking ridiculous. But that too, makes me happy.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

I'm just stoked there's another sneakerphile here besides me. I have, probably, 30 pairs of skate shoes. I used to pay a shit ton for them, but now, I got that Adidaskate hookup.

 

And by Muhammed Ali boots, do you mean like, legit boxing boots? Or are they some weird promotional "they look like a boot, feel like a sneaker!" type thing?

 

Either way, shit's rockin.

[Nighthawk]

The latter. This is them:

 

[Burning Pirate Ship Sex]

I've got a sweet pair of Vans slip-ons I bought at a store in Glasgow. Red wool tartan. Looks amazing, and keep my feet warm in the winter. They're the prize of my (non-existent) collection.

[Nighthawk]

My Jordan 5s are probably my favorite.

 

 

That's the color scheme I have. They are originals too, not the retro ones. The design was partially based on WWII fighter plane paintjobs and also partially on Marty's "power laces" shoes from Back to the Future 2. I'll be honest, I don't feel cool knowing/caring so much about shoes, but what can I say, it's a hobby.

[Retard Girl]

i have the same problem, but with shoes and boots. sneakers look dumb on me (but then again, doesn't everything?). i don't have all kinds of cool names to drop though. and if i had more disposable income, i'd have a lot more. boots make me happy.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I only wear shoes to work.

 

To the store and things, I wear a bright yellow pair of crocs.

 

I'm barefoot literally everywhere else.

[At Home]

I have 3 pairs of vans slip-ons (straight black with a hole above my big toe, black and white boxes (not checkerboard), and American flags) and a pair of super beat up white hi-top chucks, but I can only wear the vans for riding.

 

Oh and Rainbow sandals for when I don't want to put socks on.

[Nighthawk]

So to stop talking about shoes, I've been up all night reading about Roman emperors, because I recently had an alcoholic relapse, which always renders me unable to sleep. I ate a shitload of Taco Bell, and found the time to masturbate 25 or 30 times over the course of the evening.

 

I'm going to be having sex tonight with this half Asian girl I met on okcupid, and the fact that I am on no sleep and just came so much there's probably no semen left in me doesn't intimidate me at all. I will take her to see Burn After Reading (will be the second time for me), and then we'll hook up, and I will be as good as ever. My stamina absolutely staggers me, and this pleases me. In fact, all of that anecdote pleases me.

[At Home]

Just make sure your shit is safe.

[Nighthawk]

As I always say, "Body second, safety last."

[Smartly Pretty]

My shoe collection

[EL BRUJ0]

When mom comes over to my place and starts tidying it up. Makes me feel warmy to know she cares about my living conditions, years after we shared them.

[EL BRUJ0]

This:

I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk.

real man would've said "You're excused... YA CUNT!" while kicking her as she walked by.

 

What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker.

Ya, she should've deduced that all as she checked out how smooth you looked in your Shadows Fall t-shirt, torn jeans stretched out, as the smoke sexily exhaled from them hardcore lungs.

 

Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

The sidewalk's for regular walking...

[Nighthawk]

I recently picked up an anthology of Tijuana Bibles... these things really amuse me.

 

I laughed for like ten minutes at this incredibly crude drawing of Donald Duck fucking Minnie Mouse.

 

"Snap your ass hole Minnie! I'm going to put a duck egg in ye!"

 

I swear that's what he really says!

 

With all this rule 34 porn on the internet, I was always of the opinion that nobody could be jerking off to most of it, it had to be just, like... crude jokes. And all these little comics confirm that it's nothing less than a grand tradition.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

What's a Tijuana bible?

[Nighthawk]

8 page sex comics produced from the 20s through the 60s.

 

It was pretty much depression era rule 34 (and if you're going to ask me what that is, it means that if it exists, there's porn of it). Famous toons, even real people. There's even one in this anthology wherein a girl accuses Cary Grant of being a fairy (which was a rumor at the time), and he proves her wrong by fucking her.

[Guest Vitamin X]

There's even one in this anthology wherein a girl accuses Cary Grant of being a fairy (which was a rumor at the time), and he proves her wrong by fucking her.

 

Holy shit. Do you have access to a scanner or something? I've got to see that.

[Nighthawk]

I don't, no, but offhand, I can tell you the anthology is called Tijuana Bibles, compiled by Bob Adelman, with an introduction by underground comics legend Art Spiegelman (guy who wrote Maus).

 

I dunno if that's the kind of thing they'd have in the library, but...

[Smartly Pretty]

I once saw a Rule 34 picture of Mountain Dew fucking a sandwich, or something like that. That amused and pleased me.

[Maztinho]

I once saw a Rule 34 picture of Mountain Dew fucking a sandwich, or something like that. That amused and pleased me.

 

One of the funniest Rule 34's I've ever seen was someone starting a thread with a shopping cart and going "Rule 34, I dare you," and the next post was a picture of a shopping cart coral and the word Gangbang written across the top.

[Slayer]

At least that Rule 34 actually shows some wit and creativity, rather than just showing various children's characters in assorted carnal activities

[Red Baron]

Whatever vodka and cranberry juice is called. Yum man.

 

Cape Codder.

[Guest Brady's Torn ACL]

Oh man, Tijuana bibles are great.

http://www.tijuanabibles.org/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?action=home

I can't post images here, we're not in NSFW, but no harm on this one I don't think:

 

The one with Wimpy from Popeye is a favorite, too.

 

Board meme waiting to happen.

[Retard Girl]

sushi, sashimi, and cali roll combo.

[Gary Floyd]

This:

I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk.

real man would've said "You're excused... YA CUNT!" while kicking her as she walked by.

 

What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker.

Ya, she should've deduced that all as she checked out how smooth you looked in your Shadows Fall t-shirt, torn jeans stretched out, as the smoke sexily exhaled from them hardcore lungs.

 

Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

The sidewalk's for regular walking...

You know what makes me happy? This post.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!]

Random things that might amuse but mostly please me:

 

- Eating fish

 

- Drinking beer

 

- Downloading music for free

 

- My dogs

 

- My neighbor's cat

 

- Grabbing my acoustic guitar and playing it on a whim

 

- Those crazy dreams that occur during the nine-minute span between snooze alarms. I dig those.

 

- My iPod (makes going to the gym not feel like work)

 

- Preparing dinner (I find it to be fun)

 

- Eating said dinner

 

- When my girlfriend makes breakfast (I'm low-functioning during the morning hours)

 

- Going to bed after pushing the add reply button

[Lord of The Curry]

When hot girls come into my store. Being that 90% of clients are in the 40+ set seeing a supple 21 year old brings a tear to my eye.

[Corey_Lazarus]

This:

I was sitting out front when I got home this afternoon, smoking a BUTT with my girl, and these two chicks who work at the bank up the street from us come walking by. Side-by-side. Average width sidewalk. One of them just looks down at me and goes "excuse me" and doesn't go around me. She would've tripped over me if I didn't pull my legs back onto the front walkway of my building rather than leave my feet planted flat on the sidewalk.

real man would've said "You're excused... YA CUNT!" while kicking her as she walked by.

 

What, bitch? I'm supposed to move for YOU? You're a cunt whose job consists of counting. My job consists of counting inventory, lifting heavy shit, operating a forklift, dealing with annoying customers, dealing with the idiots that run the place, and dealing with my (possibly mentally retarded) coworker.

Ya, she should've deduced that all as she checked out how smooth you looked in your Shadows Fall t-shirt, torn jeans stretched out, as the smoke sexily exhaled from them hardcore lungs.

 

Fuck you, bitch: I was here first. You go around ME.

The sidewalk's for regular walking...

You know what makes me happy? This post.

I gotta say that it does make me happy to post stupid shit and almost immediately be made fun of for it. And there's not even a hint of sarcasm there. It's amusing to me.