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NHL Draft

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Edit: After spending four days limping my computer through a virus/spy sweep, we're forseeably back up and running. For the record, I have had this PC since 2006. In nearly three years of porn and gambling online, not a single problem. SNEAKERS O FUCKING TOOLE sent my computer into a tailspin.


Double edit: I kind of like the story above, so even six months later, I'll keep it....anyway, I've brought up the draft in conversation a few times with people who aren't posters here. In case any regulars want to have a look at it, I eliminated the masters write-up/line sheet, and eventually will put up a draft order thing.


1) The Great Ones (CanadianChris)

Forwards: Wayne Gretzky, Guy Lafleur, Denis Savard , Bob Gainey, Lanny McDonald, Boom-Boom Geoffrion, Rod BrindAmour, Brian Propp, John Tonelli, Dale Hunter, Rick Tocchet, Wendel Clark

Defence: Eddie Shore, Slava Fetisov, Borje Salming, Jacques Lapierrere, JC Tremblay, Charlie Huddy

Goalies: Vladislav Tretiak, Turk Broda

Coach: Bob Johnson


2) The Calgary Silly Nannies (EMHE)

Forwards: Mario Lemieux, Jarome Iginla, Frank Mahovlich, Joe Mullen, Alex Mogilny, Dirk Graham, Vincent Damphousse, Cliff Ronning, Patrik Elias, Geoff Sanderson, Scott Mellanby

Defence: Larry Robinson, Dion Phaneuf, Gary F'n Suter, Randy Carlyle, Al Iafrate, Andrei Markov

Goalies: Eddie Belfour, Tom Barrasso

Coach: Ken Hitchcock


3)The Canadian Guitarists (CG)

Forwards: Brett Hull, Sergei Fedorov, Mike Gartner, Jari Kurri, Doug Gilmour, Eric Lindros, Kevin Stevens, Claude Lemieux, Pat Verbeek, Hakan Loob, Kirk Muller, Peter McNab

Defence: Ed Jovanovski, Mathieu Schneider, Teppo Numminen, Ken Daneyko, Bob Baun, Bill Barilko

Goalies: Patrick Roy, Roberto Luongo

Coach: Roger Neilson



4) Gordie's Gang (Angle)

Forwards: Gordie Howe, Peter Statsny, Brendan Shanahan, Glenn Anderson, Pierre Turgeon, Yvan Cournoyer, Pavel Datsyuk, Valeri Kharlamov, Vladimir Krutov, Tomas Holmstrom, Trevor Linden

Defence: Scott Stevens, Phil Housley, Tom Johnson, Doug Wilson, Bill Quackenbush, Ken Jonsson

Goalies: Jacques Plante, Chris Osgood

Coach: Dick Irvin


5) Five For Fighting (UndertakerHart)

Forwards: Mark Messier, Teemu Selanne, Adam Oates, Tiger Williams, Fuckin Theo Fleury*, Henri Richard, Darren McCarty, Joffrey Lupul, Sean Avery, Slava Kozlov, Adam Graves, Ryan Smyth**

Defence: Raymond Bourque, Eric Desjardins, Adam Foote, Ulf F'n Samuelsson, Derian Hatcher, Craig Hartsburg

Goalies: Mike Vernon

Coach: Mike Keenan


6) Bobby and Bossy's Boys (909)

Forwards: Mike Bossy, Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Dino Ciccarelli, Clark Gillies, Bernie Federko, Igor Larianov, Steve Larmer, Butch Goring, Bob Probert, Owen Nolan, Esa Tikannen

Defence: Bobby Orr, Rob Blake, Zdeno Chara, Marty McSorley, Petr Svoboda

Goalies: Grant Fuhr, Rogie Vachon

Coach: Pat Burns


7) Gert

Forwards: Phil Esposito, Jaromir Jagr, Ted Lindsay, Stan Mikita, Mark Recchi, Jeremy F'n Roenick, Mats Naslund, Rick Vaive, Rick Kehoe, Dave Schultz, Barry Pederson, John Ogrodnick

Defence: Denis Potvin, Red Kelly, Pierre Pilote, Sandis Ozolinsh, Dave Babych, Dave Manson

Goalies: Bill Durnan, Mike Richter

Coach: Glen Sather


8) The Extreme Dream Team (MFerExtreme)

Forwards: Maurice "Rocket" Richard, Bryan Trottier, Alex Delvecchio, Jean Ratelle, Norm Ullman, John Leclair, Jere Lehtinen, Dave Taylor, Sid Abel, Martin St. Louis, Bill Barber, Dickie Moore

Defence: Chris Pronger, Vladimir Konstantinov, Kevin Lowe, Harry Howell, Allan Stanley, Bill Gadsby

Goalies: Terry Sawchuk, Billy Smith

Coach: Al Arbour


9) The Northern Lights Five (Nskie)

Forwards: Sidney Crosby, Luc Robitaille, Cam Neely, Pat LaConcussion, Joe Thornton, Howie Morenz, Bernie Nicholls, Peter Bondra, Terry O'Reilly, Stephane Richer, Joe Juneau, Tony Amonte

Defence: Doug Harvey, Rod Langway, Dit Clapper, Kevin Hatcher, Mike Ramsey, Lyle Odelein

Goalies: Ken Dryden, Pelle Lindbergh

Coach: Don Cherry


10) The Jamaican Vocations (Treble)

Forwards: Jean Beliveau, Darryl Sittler, Dave Andreychuk, Evgeni Malkin, Dave Keon, Gary Roberts, Rick Nash, Rick Middleton, Steve Thomas, Tie Domi, Alex Kovalev, Thomas Steen

Defence: Al MacInnis, Scott Niedermayer, Serge Savard, Brad McCrimmon, James Patrick, Tomas Kaberle

Goalies: Tony Esposito, Curtis Joseph

Coach: Scotty Bowman


11) Clorox Leetch (Smartly Pretty)

Forwards: Bobby Hull, Alex Ovechkin, Joe Niuewendyk, Dany Heatley, Daniel Alfreddson, Jason Spezza, Andy Bathgate, Rod Gilbert, Ilya Kovalchuk, Alex Tanguay, Michael Peca, Mike York

Defence: Brian Leetch, Larry Murphy, Babe Pratt, Earl Siebert, Matias Ohlund, Wade Redden

Goalies: Glenn Hall, John Vanbiesbrouck

Coach: Herb Brooks


12) JJ Johnson

Forwards: Mats Sundin, Mike Modano, Dale Hawerchuk, Keith Tkachuk, Brian Bellows, Tim Kerr, Ziggy Palffy, Markus Naslund, Doug Weight, Marian Hossa, Vince Lecavalier, Milan Hejduk

Defence: Paul Coffey, Sergei Zubov, Tim Horton, King Clancy, Brian Rafalski, Kimmo Timonen

Goalies: George Hainsworth, JS Giguere

Coach: Toe Blake


13) The Champs Are Here (Goblin)

Forwards: Stevie Yzerman, Bobby F'n Clarke, Pavel Bure, Paul Kariya, Henrik Zetterberg, Steve Shutt, Kent Nillson, Ken Hodge, Sergei Makarov, Guy Carbonneau, Craig Ramsay, Kris Draper

Defence: Chris Chelios, Guy Lapointe, Serge Gonchar, Marcel Provonost, Ken Reardon, Bill White

Goalie: Martin Brodeur, Evgeni Nabakov

Coach: Pat Quinn


14) The Excitable Boys (Max)

Forwards: Marcel Dionne, Ron Francis, Johnny Bucyk, Gibby Perrault, Michel Goulet, Bobby Smith, Jacques Lemaire, Milt Schmidt, Neal Broten, Wayne Cashman, Rick MacLeish, Keith Crowder

Defence: Nicklas Lidstrom, Brad Park, Mark Howe, Ken Morrow, Steve Duchesne, Stefan Persson

Goalie: Dominik Hasek, Bernie Parent

Coach: Jack Adams


*Unlike Clarke, Suter, Roenick, and Samuelsson, I like Theo. His knee-sliding celebration after scoring in OT is one of my favourite hockey highlights ever. Fuckin' Theo Fleury is a longstanding inside joke - a buddy of mine wanted to take his then-girlfriend on a date, but had no money. He thought his 1990 Pro Set Theo Fleury card would pay for said date, if traded in at a card shop. It did not. This was Theo's fault.


** I like him. JJ does not.

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That question mark in my lineup is Bob Nystrom so my lines are:














Dick Irvin

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I've PM'ed Gert and Treble to get their lines. From there, you'll have until Monday night at midnight pacific to 'sell' your team to all of us. Starting at 12:01 Tuesday, you can PM me your rankings. I'll tally them up, and the playoffs will begin.

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Dave Andreychuk-Jean Beliveau©-Evgeni Malkin

Gary Roberts-Darryl Sittler-Rick Nash

Steve Thomas-Dave Keon-Alex Kovalev

Tie Domi-Thomas Steen-Rick Middleton


Serge Savard-Al MacInnis

Scott Niedermayer-Tomas Kaberle

Brad McCrimmon-James Patrick


Tony Esposito

Curtis Joseph


Scotty Bowman

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Also, even though I got the AD reference in JJ's team name (and let's keep the David Cross jokes to a minimum), it reminded me of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes back to college, and the NRC shows up at the power plant.


"No, we're not a nuclear plant. We make cookies here, uh, that's right, cookies. Mr. Burns old-fashioned, good time, extra-chewy...."

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Smartly Pretty's out of town until the 20th or so, but I know the general idea of his team. Would it terribly offend anyone if I wrote a synopsis for him, or is he just going to have to go on his own players' merits?

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We have write-ups for five of the fourteen teams. Gert still needs a captain, but all lines are submitted.


I'm going to be Nazi about the write-up deadline. If you don't sell us on your team by Monday night, tough luck. Starting at 12:01 Tuesday, you can pm me your rankings: Exclude your own team, and rate the others on a 1-13 scale. I'll tally the results (I'm hoping this can occur Wednesday on my day off. More likely, it'll be between my shifts later in the week. I work days Thursday and afternoons Friday, so I have some downtime to get everything together).


I'll heed CC's suggestion. All fourteen teams make the playoffs, with 3-14, 4-13, etc. Teams 1 and 2 get a bye. From there, I'll assign a selection of bi-partisan GM's to pick a winner. (I'll repost that criteria shortly).



For the greater good, I have no problem with JJ doing Smartly's synopsis.

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Can the mods pm those who don't have write-ups submitted? My computer is arife with spyware and is hanging by a thread.


To that end, we'll extend the writeup deadline til Tuesday night at midnight Pacific.

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Since your PC is having problems, CG, is it safe to presume that the team write-up that I PM'ed yesterday morning wasn't received and thus I should write another one?

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